I dont really know how to explain this. I started at 277...and managed to lose about 40 pounds. Every time I get to 245...it's almost like I panic, and put some back on. In fact, I recently gained back 10...It doesnt make any sense to me. I get to that number on the scale, and all I can think about is food, and of course I dont want broccoli...its chocolate and fattening junk food. I can't figure out why after all these years of carrying this weight, and FINALLY finding the strength to take it off...why do I keep sabotaging myself? I know no one here is likely a therapist...I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this?

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Sure have once I even got 8# from my goal weight and went straight back up...I am not a therapist but I have seen one heehee...and at least for me I think and for others I have chatted with I think it comes from a fear of being thin...we are fat for a reason to cushion ourselves from the pain...the real reason we eat it is buried in us deep and we do not have to deal with alot when we keep ourselves buried under it all...not saying this is your problem just saying it is one reason some of us sabatage our progress...being thin will not heal all our sorrows it is just one part of the journey...you have it within your self to continue on ..you can do it...and u are worth it we all are....once you bust past that 245...don't be surprised if it doesn't happen again at say 205#...But never give up take it one day at a time...YOU are a winner...

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Pamela

Thank you so much for your reply...It really feels good to know I'm not the only one!

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If that certian point makes you panic, try staying away from the scales when you get close to 250 and don't weight for a month or 2. If you keep eating healthy and exercising then you will continue to lose and possibly trick your mind into going passed that set point of insecurity. Best of Luck, hope this helps you. Kim

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Hi Sarah.... I agree with what Pamela wrote, too. I have that same deal with 200 and I know a few others who have that as well. But for whatever reason or reasons you have that you "stuff" your feelings, try what Stevekimj suggested. That's a great suggestions, Stevekimj! Bury the scales instead of your feelings...... :) You can do this. We all can. I'm about to go under 200.... think I can stay there this time?? I plan on it and I know you'll get there too if you just keep on being healthy!!


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Here's to healthy and happy!

Dj

I agree with the above posts. For me I know I'm hiding behind my weight. Just have to discover what it is and why. I think part of it may be denial. "Hey, I'm not looking too bad, I think I'll reward myself" then my reward is food and I can't stop. Kim's suggestion about staying away from the scale is great!! Especially if it happens at a certain weight. I tend to get a bit cocky after losing a bit and then I use it as an excuse to allow me to binge. Problem is I usually don't stop @ just one or 2 or 30!!!

Hang in there, keep coming back here. I get truely inspired here!! Thanks all of you!!!

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Hi there!
I think sometimes we are our worst enemy and we do things that hurt ourselves. You have to find what triggers that for you and do your best to avoid it or deal with it and move on. Remember you are worth all the effort you put into this weight loss process!
The people here are great in terms of being supportive and providing motivation, or just allowing you to vent when needed.
Come back often and keep us posted on your progress. You are worth it!
Continued success!
:D

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I agree with Kim. Stay away from the Scales! You will pass 245 and not even know it. I don't know why we sabotage ourselves but we do. Some people use sex, alcohol or just plain running away from life and family, but we use food to gain a false sense of comfort and to keep us chubby. when I first started here, I got a suggestion to keep an eating and activity journal. Don't just write down what you ate but why you ate it. this is the best thing I could have learned here. I have found deep rooted issues with my mother that I am dealing with now. I am cleaning out my heart while I learn how to be thin. I write to my diet buddies and when I need to I vent all of the reasons I binged or wanted to binge and it really helps. You can do this! you are meant to feel good and be healthy! Don't give up on yourself! Life is too good to wait to feel good about life.
Good Luck


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Wow, there are some really great replies to this..... I agree with all of it and like I said before I thought the suggestion about the scale was great! The food jounal is another one that is good. I used to keep a food journal of my meals, but didn't think about writing down the times I'm eating and why... that's a good idea for finding out trigger areas so you can be careful of them. Thanks for all the input everyone!

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Here's to healthy and happy!

Dj

I totally agree with all the replies here. The past three days I've kept a food journal and it has really helped. I can also relate with being obsessed with food. I posted something a few days ago when I was feeling particularly desperate. All the support I recieved was great. Just keep visiting this site and I'm sure you'll reach your goal. Good luck!!

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I so agree with Pamela. I have thought for a long time that my problem was fear of being thin. I actually lost 100 lbs while in Nsg school...Have gained every ounce back. Maybe one day i will overcome my fear...I certainly hope so.

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i dont know a person who hasnt felt that way. if we didnt, we wouldnt be human. i think everybody has great ideas. i am afraid of hitting my goal weight, what will i do, will i go back to my old habits, will i gain it all back and then some. just remember, you are the controller of your own destiny, and you have the strength to control. you are worth being healthy. good luck, think positive, and have a safe and healthy weekend.
stephanie

Hi again Sarah,
Boy, you really described my biggest problem to a T in this post. I have the same problem, my "fearful" number is 235 for some reason. Since last June I've gone up 10 down 9 up 5 down 9 and never EVER got under 235. Then in January I went REALLY nuts and just starting going UP, UP and more UP so now I'm all the way to 270 and determined to stop this insane binging.

Thanks Pam, Kim and everyone else for the great ideas. I plan to try them all.

See you Lighter !
Cocoon

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Cocoon.... that is such a neat signature line you have "see you lighter"... that's really a positive way to look at things! Thanks for the smile.

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Here's to healthy and happy!

Dj

Just an update to my previous post:

I still feel this weird urge to keep this fat on my body most of the time... but I am conquering it ounce by ounce. I started a new job at this cities biggest hospital, and have to walk every day about half a mile to the ramp where I park... so I'm forced to exercize whether I want to or not! It was a challenge the first week, but getting easier every day. Never would have believed what just a little motion in my day does! I did pass the 245 mark... and am now at 238! Little by little, I'm making it! Thanks to all for your outstanding comments and support! SARAH

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I wonder if there is any connection between this kind of weight loss fear and how long you've been overweight? I've never been a normal weight in my life, and the times I came even close were pretty brief. I guess that it's no wonder then that sometimes when I try to imagine being slim I feel a little unsure. I've never been there. I wonder if I'd still be me, as bizzare as that sounds. Its just that I've never been any other way, so being overweight is part of my identity, like my name. Its crazy sounding, but I wonder if being thin would somehow change me inside.
Perhaps fat has served me as a filter in a way, too. I know that if someone likes me it's becouse of me, who I am, 'cuz it sure won't be for my looks, or the glamour of hanging around a fat chick. I remember the last time I got quite low (157) I actually started to dread the constant compliments from my friends and aquaintances. I was still trying to get comfortable with this strange new body and body image and it seemed like I couldn't get 3 feet with out it being brought up again.

Hopefully I'll have the opportunity to grapple with this issue again soon. :)

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[This message has been edited by dosflores (edited 05-21-2000).]

See, Sarah.... you're getting there. Exercize really is important and it really does help. Just that bit of walking every work day seems to be helping you.

And Dosflores, I think any kind of change is scary to all of us, even when it's for the better. I know the fear of the unknown can be really stiffling for so many. Just take it one day at a time and maybe you can "sneak" up on yourself. *grin* That's what I'm trying to do!

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Here's to healthy and happy!

Dj

It makes a lot of sense to me ... or at least I know it's something I've done. Lose weight and then sabatoged myself. Wanting to lose on the one hand, yet my actions say something else. I think it's a mixture of lots of things. Fear, habit ... wanting different but being familiar with being overweight and then fearing what it will be like to lose that weight even though we desperately want to. Glad to hear you are conquering it bit by bit, day by day :)

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I understand for sure. I have been 1/4 pound aways from goal twice and I gained it all back plus some extra each time. http://www.diettalk.com/uub//frown.gif http://www.diettalk.com/uub//frown.gif

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Just keep telling yourself that you are worth it and that you can do it. Just remember that we are all here for you.

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http://www.barrysclipart.com/animations/images/0029.gif Joanne

[This message has been edited by JoanneR (edited 06-03-2000).]

I read your post a few days ago and it prompted me to speak with a friend. After hashing over things I have found that I sabotage myself because people may take notice of me in a way that is unfamilar. I can't hide behind my weight...comes down to self-esteem I guess. So with that new insight and strength..I will beat it and you can too. Keep going. Boo

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WOW! This is really amazing. Sorry I don't mean to sound excited but I am. I posted a few days ago, concerning any ideas people had about what I might be able to do for losing weight. A quick reminder: I need to lose 150#, I have degenerative arthritis in both knees, I have diabetes, carpal tunnel syndrome in both wrists, and I have multiple sclerosis. All this makes exercising just about impossible.
Through reading this post and everyones response, I have learned that it may not be all physical. The "INABILITY" to lose weight IS partially fear of losing weight! I think I lean on all my disabilities as the reason I can't lose. I have always been overweight...i.e.168# at the age of 8. I just kept eating and stopped moving.
I know I will have days where I can't walk across the room, but that doesn't mean I sit on my duff when I can move. It will be difficult and I will have to try. Right now I stick a needle in myself everyday for the multiple sclerosis, its not a cure but they THINK it may help slow the progress. I decided to do this because doing something was better than doing nothing, it makes me feel like I am at least giving this disease a run for its money!
Everyone here just made me realize I need to have that same attitude about my weight.
I want to thank you all.
You are GRRRRREAT!

If anyone would be interested in talking or becoming a "dietbuddy" email me at chele725@yahoo.com

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