Why do I want to be Tigger? Because he is oh so bouncy. I want to feel energetic, enthusiastic and alive!!!

My starting weight is 90kg. At only 157cm I think a goal weight of around 55kg is realistic. So, 35kg have to go.

I try to stay positive but unfortunately I have been diagnosed with clinical depression so maintaining an upbeat attitude is not always very easy. It seems that I spend most of my time playing catch up. I will be doing really well and then the blackness will hit me and I backslide badly. That means when I come out of that I have to firstly undo any damage I have done before I can start to move forward again. I feel like a ping pong sometimes 8-|

Well, this is my journal and I promise that I will be brutally honest with myself. I don't like myself very much at the moment. I am certainly not leading the lifestyle that is best for me. I have to improve my diet and exercise and give up smoking but that last one is something that can wait for the time being. There is no way I can fix everything at once. I don't want to set myself up for failure. I prefer to take small steps one day at a time.

I know I can do this but I also know that the doing has to come from deep within me. It is not something which can be magically done by someone (or thing) else.

I am worth the effort.

TIGS, glad to meet you. This is oviously an up day. There is no majic, but we try to help each other. Nice to have you on board.

Hey, tigger! Great attitude!! Keep it up and you will be tossing those pills out in no time.

I was treated with depression for many years, off antidepressants for 7 years now!! Do you take antidepressants? Look into them, they are very helpful. I know depression HORRIBLE place to be, but you are doing lots of great things for yourself. Journaling and remaining GRATEFUL for the little things helped me a lot. Keeping an "upbeat" outlook is sometimes just a big show if you don't really feel it, but gratitude comes from the heart and heals it! Good luck! Keep us posted. You're doing GREAT!