hi everyone,
yesss, this is vickie, aka as babycakes!!! i am back and ready to roll!
i took a few weeks off after annaa's recent illness to think about things and regroup. while i was gone some amazing transformations began in my life.
i have made new goals and plans for my future. i have looked at things that i used to take for granted and truly appreciate them now. i have met the sweetest man on the face of the earth and am being swept off my feet by him.
life has new potential and excitement than ever before for me....in all areas of my life. i am happy to begin this new chapter of my life and share it with all my diet talk buddies. after all, lots of you have contributed to how i see myself today......a woman worthy of good things happening in my life.
i have errands to run right now but i am looking forward to posting the "real" first installment of this journey later tonight.

HUGS TO ALL :)


vickie;)



"We never know just what sweet miracles tomorrow may bring"
FLAVIA WEEDN

Vickie, I am so glad you are back and posting and it seems like wonderful things are happening in your life! I started seeing someone wonderful recently, too, and am making my friends nauseous gushing about how much love and light I get from him, but it is amazing how a love relationship can change your whole outlook. It is as though another person loving us proves to us just how wonderful we are. I am so happy for you! Big hugs, Heather

Vickie,
its wonderful to see you back posting, and especially with such a positive attitude :) without that the journey is tough isnt it?
so happy that you have found someone wonderful, i will stay tuned for the details:o
i would love to hear about your new goals!
i will be checking in here with you regularly my angel sister.
hugs bell :D
p.s Heather i never get nauesous hearing you describe how happy you are with your prince.

hi heather and bell,
thank you both so much for visiting my journal. this is a very exciting time for me and i am happy to have someone along to keep me company.
today was a good day program wise.

my food:
breakfast:
energy bar
2% milk

lunch:
salad

dinner:
bbq pork ribs
mashed potatoes
sauerkraut
dinner roll

snack:
energy bar
milk

total calories: 1780

my blood sugars:
fbs: 123
lunch: -
dinner: 158
bedtime: -

my exercise:
Richard Simmons BLAST OFF tape (20 minutes)

my water:
80 ounces


i am setting much smaller goals for myself now. it is a lot less intimitidating this way. when i started trying to lose weight this time i weighed 268. i set a final goal of 160 lbs. i now weigh 238 as of last thursday. i am setting a goal of 230 by 2/14/02

my exciting news is that i have met the man of my heart finally and he is the sweetest man on the face of the earth. i think i am falling in love. :) his name is dan!


hugs:)


vickie

Vickie,
I'm so happy for you that you've met someone special.
You deserve to have happiness feeling you. I remember
reading some of your post and you are a caring person.
I hope he's the one for you that can give some of that
caring back to you.

Enjoy the happiness and keep glowing.

Have a wonderful tomorrow.
Later,Rivergal

Vickie, so glad that you are back...and how fitting...to start this new era in your life with a new journal!

I am delighted to hear you so happy! Sounds like you have been making some wonderful changes in your life! Especially in how you view yourself.

So glad that Anna is doing better! She sounds great too!

Looking forward to hearing more about Dan...hope he is really good to you! You deserve it!

Great job on your program! I really like the way you are setting smaller goals!

hi cari and rivergal,
thanks for visiting my journal!!
i am having another great day. its getting kinda cold out, lol and we are supposed to get ice tonight.
food-wise, i am staying on program again......2 days in a row.....and my blood sugars have been acceptable so far today.
Dan is very good to me and he makes me feel like i am the only woman in the world when we are together. he accepts me the way i am and that means the world to me.
well, i have to be getting ready for work soon so i will be back later to post in more detail. have a TERRIFIC tuesday!

HUGS :)


vickie:rose:

Good work staying on program Vickie! Great news on the blood sugars too!

I love to hear your news about Dan. He sounds like a great guy! Have a good day!

hi cari,
i did so good with my diet until i got to work:( i wish that darn candy wasn't all over the nurses station. i know it is my responsibility to resist but that is pretty hard to do sometimes when everyone else is eating it. other than the few handfuls of candy, i did great!!!!
i am tired so i am gonna cut this short and get to sleep. dan is in florida soaking up the sunshine while i sit here bracing for the ice storm, lol!! i miss him alot!


hugs :)


vickie
:rose:

Vickie...did Dan being in Florida have anything to do with the candy eating????? Just a thought!

You are doing great...and you will pick up from this slip!

Why do people give nurses candy anyway?

You will do fine...just figure out what the real prompt to eat was...then you will have gained from the slip!

(((Vickie))), finally, now I know why you were not posting in your journal. You have another one on the go!
But I've found it...you can't hide from me.
So his name is Dan. Nice name, nice guy. Now tell me Vickie, how did the two of you meet?
Hope you'll have a wonderful day today and waiting to hear all about Dan.:rose::x

Angie

hi (((((((((((((((cari)))))))))))))))) and (((((((((((((((((((angie)))))))))))))))))).......welcome to my new journal. i am so glad to have both of you here!
angie, where have you been keeping yourself?????? i have missed you sooooooooo much. but i was away for awhile too. i felt kinda drained after the scare with annaa (my dear sis) and just wanted time to examine my own direction in life. i am so glad i did! but back to dan in a few minutes, lol!!!!!!!!!!!!
cari, i do miss dan alot but we rarely see each other during the week so i am not sure that his being gone made me binge on chocolate. maybe his constant teasing about being in the sunshine while i was in the cold did it, 8-} lol!!!! i am sure that people give candy to nurses just to be nice and show appreciation for good care. but fruit baskets would be a much better choice in my opinion. maybe i eat the junk food cause i feel like i do just as good a job of taking care of my patients as the next nurse and i want to share in the appreciation too. i don't know. this is gonna require some meditation and thought on my part. why can i do so good resisting it at home and out running around with friends but i binge at work?????
ok, back to dan......
i was talking to a friend about how lonely i get and how i wished i could just have someone to talk to, spend some time with, connect with. she suggested i go to a web site called cupid junction and place an ad. at first i scoffed at that idea but i was very sad and afraid while anna was in the hospital and one night i was just surfing the net and remembered the name. so i thought why not give it a try. i went in, looked the site over and placed the ad. then i found his ad and i immediately liked him. i procrastinated for 3 or 4 days trying to convince myself that he was an ax murderer or something but finally could not resist the urge to write to him. and he wrote back....which totally blew me away. after a couple of days of e-mailing each other, we talked on the phone a few times then he came here to meet me. and i found the sweetest man alive,:o
we only get to see each other on weekends right now cause we live almost 2 hours apart. but we talk on the phone literally every day. even in florida this week for a conference for work....he still is calling me everyday. i am not used to this kind of attention from a man.
my old self doubts (i cannot possibly e attractive enough for him) keep surfacing but each time i talk to him and he tells me how much he misses me and how pretty i am my self esteem soars!!
i am trying to keep my senses about me though and fall in love carefully and safely but these darn emotions keep trying to ride wildly out of control. but i am truly happy for the first time in months.
i do not know what the future holds for dan and i. i just know that something wonderful is happening right now and regardless of what i feel in the months to come the time he is spending with me right now will be worth it. :D

have a wonderful thursday and keep warm!!!!


hugs :)



vickie:rose:

Wow Vickie, that makes good material to write a novel. What a special way to meet a special man.
I'm very happy for you and I agree. Don't worry about the future etc., just enjoy the moment.
I've got a quote about that: Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift. That's why they call it the present.
Have fun! And have a happy day tomorrow!:rose:

Angie

A new inspired Vickie...
YOU GO GIRL!!!
I was worried about you and I am glad you are back and in such control!!
You have a good time with your new romance!!!
I was watching Dr. Phill the other day...you are a beutiful person...and don't think anything other than that...think positive thoughts about yourself...
I am so glad you are back!!
I missed you...
Otto
:rose:

hello dear friends. isn't the world a beautiful place to live?????

just got home from work. we got an ice storm today and everything is lovely out there. but then we are one of the lucky families that did not lose our electricity for the majority of the past 24 hours.

i have stayed pretty close to program.....not perfect but i ate far less undesirable stuff today than i did yesterday. still trying to get past that chocolate binge stuff. i know how to remedy this problem so why don't i just do it!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have to go to work prepared....with my own "approved" goodies to munch on. whats so hard about that??????????????

talked to dan on the phone today. he is still enjoying that beautiful florida sunshine but he has to come home to reality sometime....LOL!! actually, he told me today that he couldn't wait to come home sunday cause he missed me. awwwwwwwwwwwwwww! he is too kind to me! but it made me feel so IMPORTANT!

hope you all have a fabulous friday!!!!!


hugs :)


vickie:rose:

Keep working on controlling those cravings Vickie. You're doing a great job and you will get back in control 100%.
Dan sounds like one sweet-talking guy. Must make your heart melt. Isn't it wonderful how something like that changes your whole outlook on life?!
You have yourself a beautiful day today Vickie. And that Sunday may come soon. :x :rose:

Angie

hi angie,
i have done really well with the cravings for chocolate today....patting myself on the back. :)
i kept myself busy all day and tried not to think about snacking. Dan didn't call till after 9 tonight and i was starting to get a bit worried.....he went scuba diving today. it was good to hear his voice. and yes, he is very good at talking "sweet" to me, lol! and he does melt my heart when he blushes at a compliment or laughs at some silly joke or story i tell him. i cannot believe how much LIGHT the man has brought into my life in the past few weeks. i will not get to see him sunday though. as a matter of fact, i won't see him for another week...saturday feb 8th! we both work most of the week :(
i am planning on putting the emphasis on EXERCISE this week since this is one area i am really struggling. i am gonna put several exercise sessions on my calendar and make them top priority! then i have to just go do it!!!
i am planning to do my workouts first thing in the morning....stop at the gym on my way home from taking tiffany to school. otherwise it just keeps getting pushed back until it is too late to do it.
have a cool weekend angie.....see ya soon!


hugs :)


vickie:rose:


268/238/160

Vickie :hug:, you did great today. Almost 100% in control again.
Good plan to start going back to the Gym.
You'll have to wait till the 8th to see your sweetie :sweety: again? But he does come home this Sunday right? Does Dan live in Indiana or is he from another state?
Well, I hope that you will have a great weekend anyway. Take care!:rose:

Angie

vickie, Congratulations on staying in control today! You are doing super at getting a bit better each day!

I think it is great that you are making your exercise a priority this week...you will be so glad that you did!

Have a great weekend!

Good job Vickie on keeping with your program. I know you can resist that nasty old chocolate (HA!) because you have in the past. One thing I have learned that helps me is to tell myself: Self, I choose not to eat (whatever is calling my name) today, tomorrow I can choose to eat it because I will not deprive myself of anything. Then if I do this every day tomorrow will never come. lol Of course if I do decide to have some I just have a little. Since I already know what my favorite things taste like I don't need a lot because they will surely be some the next time I choose to have it.

You know how I sometimes like to quote sayings from the 'Jerry Seinfelt' show? Will this reminded me of the time he said: "Since he was an adult he could eat cookies anytime he wanted even right before dinner." Then he called his mother and told her he had eaten cookies right before dinner and they didn't ruin his appetite because he knew another one would be coming right behind it.

Yes!! I'm so glad you are going to start exercising regularly again. I know it will help you feel better. :D I think your plan of stopping at the gym after dropping Tiffany at school is a good one. You do know on the days you don't want to go to the gym you can pick me up and we can go to the Y to walk in the water.

I'm glad you're still talking to Dan everyday. Sorry you won't get to see him until next Saturday but the days will pass quickly. :)

Well Sandy and Ruben just stopped by and so I'm going to visit with them. I'll talk to you later.

Much love,


:rose:

Vickie!!!

I'm sorry it has been so long since I have visited. Believe it or not, I thought you were still in the old journal for some strange reason. So, I didn't see that you had a new journal...I'm such a flake! :tomato:

I'm so happy that you have met your sweet Dan. He sounds like a wonderful man! :x It is great to see you so happy and bubbly. :)

I hope you have a great weekend!

(((hugs))),
Christine

hello to my dear friends angie, cari, anna and christine!!!!!
BIG BIG HUGS to each of you!!!!!
you will all be pleased to know that i ate NO chocolate today! yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! i'm getting back on program baby step by baby step!!!!!
CHRISTINE, i just paid a visit to your journal and the wedding journal. AWESOME!!!! i want to see lots of wedding fotos!! you are gonna be a breathtakingly beautiful bride!
ANNA, thanks ever so much for your ongoing support and devotion. you know i return all that love and devotion and support to you in every way i can! i think the exercise will help me too. the trick will be getting back into the habit.....you remember what an exercise fanatic i was before???? well, i don't wanna get that fanatical again but i have to get at least 4 days a week in with some exercise!! talked to dan again tonight. again he said hi to you. he went swimming with the mannatee today and even got to pet one. i am so jealous, lol!
CARI, thank you for visiting me again. you are a super awesome friend! i hope you realize that! you always have an encouraging word for me and that helps me sooooooo much. THANK YOU!!
ANGIE, you are a super awesome friend too and i am so thankful for you! dan will fly home at 7 pm tomorrow night. he will call me from the airport before his flight takes off so we can pray for a safe flight home for him together. then call me when he gets home about 11:00 p.m. (i am a worrier, can you tell??) he lives in Indiana about 113 miles from me. we both work all week so we won't get to see each other until saturday :c( but as anna says...the week will go fast!!!!! i have thought about driving to Indianapolis tomorrow evening to meet him at the airport and surprise him though, lol!! what do you think????? lol!!

well, tomorrow I WALK ON THE TREADMILL AGAIN!!!!!! i am excited about it and at the same time looking for excuses not to go. isn't that weird!!! but i will go! i have to make exercise a habit for me again.
my goals for february include:
1) establish good exercise habits
2) meet or exceed my water intake goals on a daily basis
3) lose 6 to 8 pounds (or more)

i think i can do it!!!!! yes, i think i can!!

have a wonderful weekend my buddies. i love ya all!!!!!


hugs :)


vickie:rose:

You are doing awesome! Way to go on killing the chocolate monster!

I KNOW that you will do this! You have a great attitude, and that will carry you far!

Always glad to see a post from you Vickie...you sound great these days! Like the weight of the world has been lifted off your shoulders!

Looking forward to hearing about how great your treadmill walk was tomorrow Vickie....now don't keep me in suspense!

Hi Vickie,
I can be very impulsive some times. So if you would post that you went to the airport to surprise Dan, you won't see my eyebrow rise. It would be more like: YEAH VICKIE, GO FOR IT GIRL!
I'm curious what your decision will be.
Congrats on resisting the chocolate. Awesome! And on walking on the treadmill tomorrow. I should hop on that thing too. Maybe, just maybe, I'm not promising anything....
Have a terrific day tomorrow Vickie.:rose:

Love, Angie

hi angie and cari!! big hugs to both of you!! thanks for visiting again.
today was a nice day but i did not accomplish a few things. my brother, who i have not seen in months came to visit so i did not go walk on the treadmill OR go surprise dan at the airport.
i have been kinda sad for the past few hours though and i cannot figure out why! maybe the week away from dan is getting to me but i talked to him EVERYDAY!
i have a slight headache tonight and i am a bit tired. i will do better at staying on program tomorrow. i am taking my workout clothes with me to stop at the gym as soon as i drop tiffany off at the school. that is the ONLY way i will get it done!
gotta get off line now as dan is flying home and has promised to call me as soon as he gets into Indy. have a marvelous monday!


hugs :rose:


vickie:coach:

Vickie :hug:, I bet the sad feeling and the headache will disappear as soon as Dan phones that he's home safe and sound. At least he is so much closer than and it is possible to hop in the car to go and see him.
The brother that visited, is that Tiffany's grandfather?
Hope you will have a good workout tomorrow. And that you will feel all happy again. :rose:

Angie

Vickie, I am so sorry you are feeling down!


{{{{{{{{{{vickie}}}}}}}}}} :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose:

Hope that you feel better tomorrow!

good for you on setting out your exercise gear ready for the morning! Way to go!

hi angie and cari,
i am having a hard time staying awake tonight, lol! so, just a quick post and its nap time for vickie.
i actually EXERCISED today. walked 1.5 miles on the treadmill.and i felt WONDERFUL too!
food wise, i did EXCELLENT until dinner time then the munchies claimed me. 8-| day by day, meal by meal i will do this.


hugs :)


vickie:coach:

Good Morning Sleepyhead,

Glad to read you had such a great day yesterday. Okay, it was not 100% perfect, but who is.... At least the munchies get to you later and later each day and before you know it you will have a super OP day incl. exercise.
You did awesome on the treadmill. 1.5 Mile is a nice distance to start with. Are you going again today?
TTYS and say Hi! to Dan. :D

Angie

Wow! You said you were going to do it...and you did! That is so great...1.5 miles on the treadmill! I am so proud of you!

This is an awesome start to your exercise program Vickie!

Don't worry too much about the munch attack..it is in the past! Just approach today as a new day...sounds like you were in control for the rest of the day!

Question for you Vickie...do you have a snack around 3-4 in the afternoon? There is research that suggests that you shouldn't go more than 3 hours without eating...at least during the day. That would require an afternoon snack to get you through to dinner. I find that I am more likely to lose control if I let myself get too hungry! Just an idea...might help if you are not already doing this.

Vickilyn, I am so impressed by your great outlook and the happiness you are exuding! :)

I am the same way, I need to go to make an appointment to exercise or I won't do it. I used to go the gym right after I took the kids to school, and now I do it right when I get off work, before I get the kids. It really helps to think of it as an appointment I can't break.

Congrats on overcoming the chocolate craving! That one is the WORST! So hard to resist, so hard on the hips, lol. :D

Hope your head is feeling better by now.
Keep up the great work!:rose: Love, Heather

HI HI HI!!!!
Thanks to Angie, SLIMCari, and Heather for visiting my journal! Its always nice to have friends drop by :) I am getting better at visiting other peoples journals again. I do love to read all of your posts, whether here or in your own journals and i truly hope that I can be as encouraging to all of you as you have been to me.

Today was a great day!!! I stayed on program food wise. My blood sugars were within the proper ranges. And I got some aerobic exercise (though not as much as I would have liked)!!
Just feeling a tiny bit down tonight but that is because i did not get to talk to my Dan today! He spoiled me by calling me everyday while he was in Florida. I keep telling myself that I can get by a day or two without hearing his voice but I think I am going through "Dan withdrawal" LOL!!!!!!!

Tomorrow, I have to get up early and get to the hospital by 7:15 for my winter health assessment. This is different from my routine office visits at the doctors. The Wellness Center where I go work out sponsors this, its free, and i take advantage of it. I get free labs drawn and they have you fill out a 6 page questionaire which questions you about every aspect of your health and medical history. In a few days you get your lab results back and a health assessment summary outlining your problems and risks and some suggestions on how to eliminate the risks and work on the problems.
As soon as this is over, I will go walk on my treadmill (i am hoping to get somewhere between 1.5 and 2 miles in) and try to work on a few weights. I have to start back slowly :( I also plan to talk to a friend of mine who is a personal trainer and set up some kind of plan where i can work with her maybe once a week or so.

I am back planning out my menus......especially for the evenings that I work. Otherwise I am at the mercy of whatever junk food is lying around.

Well, better get to sleep! 6 am comes real early when you don't go to bed until 2!!! LOL!!!


HUGS:)



Vickie:coach:

I wanted to check out your journal since you were so sweet and supportive when you posted in mine. Your life sounds so exciting right now & I am soooo happy for you! These things are easier to work through when you're up and happy. Go, go, go, go on that treadmill! We will do this!!

Lisrey :cat:

Hi, my name's Rachel, I'm pretty new to the board, so I'm replying to peoples journals. :)
I'm glad to hear you had such a great day.
lol about the Dan withdrawal.
God luck with the health assesment.
God bless
-Rachel

:hug: Vickie,
Poor you! Suffering from Dan with~drawal. But you know, you could phone him yourself. You don't have to wait for him to phone. Take action!

You are really doing well there on that treadmill. Way to Go!
Rudi just stepped in the door and I have to leave now for my WW meeting. Keep your fingers crossed for the Weigh~in.
Have a great day tomorrow Vickie.

Angie

HI ANGIE, RACHEL, and LISREY,
THANKS FOR THE KIND VISITS AND ENCOURAGING WORDS!!!!

ANGIE, YES, I KNOW I CAN CALL DAN TOO. LOL! I AM JUST TRYING NOT TO BE A PEST. OTHERWISE HE WOULD BE TALKING TO ME CONSTANTLY! :laugh:

RACHEL, WELCOME TO MY JOURNAL! IT WAS SWEET OF YOU TO VISIT. I WILL HAVE TO COME VISIT YOURS LATER TODAY. OH, BY THE WAY, WELCOME TO DIETTALK TOO! YOU WILL NEVER EVER EVER FIND A MORE CARING AND SUPPORTIVE GROUP OF PEOPLE THAN RIGHT HERE IN DIETTALK. THEY ARE TRULY AMAZING!!!!!

LISREY, THANK YOU FOR VISITING! THATS SO SWEET! I AM BEGINNING TO REMEMBER WHY I LOVED THE TREADMILL SO MUCH THE FIRST TIME! I FEEL GREAT AFTER A 20 MINUTE WALK!!!!!!!!!


WELL, LADIES...........HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol!!!!!!!!! I am meeting dans children this weekend for the first time and i am a nervous wreck. i hope i am ready for this.

off to the gym now. yesterday was an awesome day! i stayed on program, got my exercise, drank my water, and controlled my blood glucose. i talked to my sweetie too so who could ask for more from an ordinary wednesday.:D


HUGS :)



vickie:coach:

Today was pretty close to perfect. I ate better today than I have in weeks! No junk food, no chocolate, no chips.....lol!
And I drank lots of water. The blood sugar has been perfect so far today! I must be doing something right and I think it is the exercise. I have walked on the treadmill 3 times this week (today I did 2 miles)
I feel great!!


HUGS :)


Vickie:coach:

:hug: Vickie,

You are really doing great on that treadmill. Excellent job.
And you're still a nervous wreck for this weekend. What else can they do but love you? You're the sweetest and kindest woman on earth, they don't come any better than you.
How many kids Vickie, and what ages?
Take a deep breath, you will be fine. I'll be sending you some really good vibes. That always helps.:rose:

Angie

Sounds like you're doing great! :)
I've been posting like crazy the last two day.
So far everyone seems wonderful, I really like it here. :D
God bless
-Rachel

Way to go, Vickie! We are jamming on our treadmilling! Doesn't it make you feel great???

I have to agree, those kids are gonna love ya. If you make their Dad as happy as he makes you, it will show and they will know. Just relax and be your wonderful self. It will all fall into place. And you'll have that healthy exercise glow!

Lisrey :o

So glad to hear you are doing so well once again. I figured that once you got back into exercising regularly all would fall into place. That's cool beans. I'm so glad your blood sugars are doing better. Being both your sister and a diabetic I know how important that is. :)

Thanks sis for all your support. You are such an inspiration.

:coach: NOW HEAR THIS!!!! All will be fine this weekend. I am sure Dan's kids will like you and if not big deal. They are grown and have their own lives. Your relationship is with Dan. Right, RIGHT!! Besides as Angie said, "How can they not like you." You're the best.

Have fun and don't forget to call me.


I love you so. Tell Dan 'Goober says hey!'


:rose:

Hi Vickie,

Sounds like you are doing great!

I'm so excited for your big weekend! It will be great to get to meet his children and I'm sure they will love you. :x You are a wonderful person and they will be very pleased to meet you.

Have a good weekend!
Christine

Hello,
I'm back!!! I had a WONDERFUL weekend. Dan's kids backed out of visiting him this weekend. He was disappointed but said it was nice just being with me anyway. :laugh: I guess we might try to meet with them again next weekend.
I did pretty good with my food while I was away from home....except for one turtle sundae i had saturday afternoon8-| otherwise, i had no junk food. and i drank quite a bit of water. not much exercise though. just sat around and watched movies, lol! i will get back on that treadmill first thing in the morning though!! PROMISE!!!!
gotta get ready for work now though. talk to everyone later!!


HUGS :)


vickie:coach:

I'm glad you're back Vickie. Too bad that Dan's kids backed out. But like you said, there's always next week.
One little turtle sundae is not so bad for a long weekend away from home. When you get back on that treadmill those cals will be gone before you know it.
Have a great day today and TTYL.:rose:

:hug:, Angie

dear journal,
i can't sleep tonight and for the first time in a while i feel depression creeping up on me. u know, when u are just on the verge of tears but can't cry. i don't know if its hormonal (tom came yesterday even though its not yet time) or tiredness (work was so tough last night). or perhaps its the cold i have been trying to fight off. or maybe its the fact that today is valentines day and dan is so far away. the little doubts are lurking in the back of my mind telling me that i can't possibly be enough for him and that i should back away quickly before he hurts me. why do i keep doing this to myself? i slept all day then got up and binged on pizza and potato chips!!!!!!!! it would have been better if i would have cried all day! at least then all i would end up with is a headache.

better get back to bed and TRY to sleep



vickie:c(

First of all I wanted to wish you a HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY !
And now I'm going to send you a PM.

:hug: Angie

I can't! I can't send you a PM because your mailbox is full! I will send it thru email.

Love, Angie

Vickie, we all feel tired and sad sometimes... but you've gotta remember that your man loves you for you -- trust in that. You're a valuable, wonderful, special person, and he's seen it!

I hope you're feeling better now -- I miss the happy, shining, singing-from-the-rooftops Vickie from your earlier posts! You deserve all happiness. :)

(BTW, pizza and chips would be the first two things I'd dive in with too, bigtime favorites of mine! I can relate!)

Take care & feel better -- we love ya!

Lisrey :rose:

Vickie,
you are always there cheering me up when i feel down so here i am to return the favor :) :)
look around you at all the wonderful things you have in your life....you had a wonderful time with Dan, so why the doubts....you sound so happy when you talk about Dan hold onto that. i think its perfectly natural to feel lonely without your sweetie on Valentines Day.
You are such a special person...dont ever forget that.
Do you keep a gratitude journal? i started about 4 weeks ago and it really makes you aware that no matter how bad we feel at times, there is always so much to be thankful for.
hugs bell :)

hi bell, lisrey, and angie,
i'm backkkk and feeling good again. thank you all for your concern for me. i just spent the weekend at dan's house and feel much better about my place in his life.
one thing i need to really work on is staying on program when i am with dan. up to now we have pretty much ate unhealthy and got next to no exercise on our weekend visits with each other. that has to change. we talked about it this morning and have decided to make some changes. especially after he woke me up very early saturday morning to tell me his heart "felt funny" and was beating too fast. it really scared me cause i could not get him to go to the emergency room.
we are both diabetic and he takes medicine also to lower his cholesterol. we both have about 80 pounds to lose.
we have decided that he will go have a checkup first and then begin his exercise program. i just had a checkup and will have another one in about 2 months. i will stick with the exercise program i have worked on half heartedly for the past few months only with more determination. and we will be eating much better in the future. next week end i will arm myself with heart healthy recipes, and a shopping list and we will eat at home with no junk food allowed. i am looking for a heathy dessert recipe though so if you guys have any ideas.........HELP!!!!!!!!!!
today we walked LESIURELY for about 2 miles down an old Indian trail near his home. the trail is approximately 9 miles long and i told him my goal is to finish the entire trail by August 1st. so, i guess i better get busy. 2 miles felt so good! i wanted to keep walking but i also didn't want to make him tired. he thought i was being overly cautious cause i insisted on taking the cell phone with me.
well, i got work to do so i better get busy. see ya all later!


hugs :)


vickie:coach:

I'm glad you're back and also that you feel a little bit more secure in your relationship.
How come Dan didn't wanted to go to Emerg? That's what they're for; especially with funny feelings around the heart. He should take it a bit more serious. BTW that's how Rudi found out about all his heart problems. Listening to his body and acting upon it. He had a problem with one of his valves. All fixed and feeling like 18 again.:D
It's a good plan to bring all your heart healthy recipes and do some cooking from scratch. That might impress Dan too.
I'll look for a dessert recipe and will email it to you.
Hope you had a great day today Vickie.:rose:

Angie

Dear Journal,
My goal for today is to stay on program all day! Sounds simple enough, doesn't it? But, its been so long since I felt truly in control. Seems like I fail in one area or another.
Last night I decided that today would be my restarting point. I tried to talk myself into waiting till monday.....thank God that idea didn't last. I could do a lot of damage between now and monday.
Then I woke up this morning and had horrible cramps and I feel tired and achy. But I am starting anyway. The day may not be as good as I had hoped for but I will not concede to failure.
I have stayed on program so far today for food anyway. And my blood sugar isn't bad right now. Exercise........what to do about exercise?? I NEED to walk....walking always cures my cramps. And I need to leave for work early enough to stop at Subway for a sub for dinner. NO JUNK FOOD.......NO CANDY!!!!!!
When I come home from work tonight I WILL have that "back in control" feeling again!!!:D
ANGIE: Thank you so much for the visit. I appreciate your friendship so much. I do not know why Dan would not go get checked out. He is under this misconception that its not serious unless it hurts. I will have to keep my eye on him...of course, that won't be hard at all. :laugh:


Hugs :)


Vickie:coach:

Excellent resolve there Vickie. Just take it bit by bit. Day by day.
One thing at the time.
Try getting the eating/snacking under control first. And when that is all okay, then work on the exercise.
It's better to do 1 of the 2 for the full 100%. That will give you the in control feeling again. When you start them both and are not able to do it the way it should, that might make you wanna quit.
And what would I do without you?
Hope today was great and tomorrow even greater...

Angie

hi Vickie :)
glad that you are back feeling good my friend. i am sure Dan has a lot to do with that:D
the indian walking trail sounds beautiful i bet you will both be walking the whole 9 miles by August 1st.
its always better to be safe than sorry especially where hearts are concerned.
all is well here dowunder....special occasions here today so my eating has stunk but i will be right back fighting the fight tomorrow including a trip to the gym.
hugs bell :)

Dear Journal,
This is just a quick entry.....I am not quite back to the "in control" feelings I thought I would have but I feel so good emotionally right now. I drank my water, and ate well yesterday. Despite my candy last night....my calorie count was not overly high!!!! My blood sugar wasn't good enough though so I must make a priority of controlling my blood sugar. And I walked!!!!!!!! I am so proud of that!!! I did my exercise :D
I will post on todays happenings later...I am still working on that. lol!
ANGIE: I think I need to adopt the flylady step by step process to get myself back under control. But I am gaining on it everyday!!!
BELL: I would not be a bit surprised if Dan doesn't have quite a bit to do with my good mood lately.8-| Meet you at the gym later, lol!!!!!

HUGS :)


Vickie:coach:

Dear Journal,
I just had a whole journal entry typed and lost it X-(
Well, here we go again.
My day went well today. I am taking the advice of my good friend Angie and concentrating on one thing at a time now. I choose to focus on EXERCISE!
My food was ok today though. And I drank my water.
I just realised a little while ago that February is almost over!!! While I am glad to be just that much closer to spring.......I have not accomplished much in the wellness areas. So I thought it would be fun to plan a mini challenge for me until the end of the month. Thats just 7 days and I should be able to accomplish anything for 7 days.
I didn't have much time to think about and plan this out but here goes anyway:

PRIORITY #1: EXERCISE- 30 minutes every day
PRIORITY #2: WATER- Drink at least 64 ounces every day
PRIORITY #3: BLOOD GLUCOSE- monitor closely and treat
accordingly!

I didn't include any weight loss goals.......of course it would be nice to get rid of this #%&$@ 4 lbs that keeps teasing me by leaving but always comes back!!!!! :D

I am so excited about this that I am busy already planning out my PRIORITIES for March!!!
OH.........I am also signing up for adult swim lessons soon so I can swim with Dan this summer. First thing I gotta do there is conquer my fear of............the dreaded bathing suit!!!!!


I am so tired so I better get to bed. I have so much to do tomorrow. THANK YOU SO MUCH ANGIE AND BELL!!!!!!!!!!!
I appreciate your visits so much. Sleep well.


HUGS :)


Vickie:coach:

Vickie,

Those sound like some great goals! You can do it! I'm here cheering you on too -- let's hop on our treadmills & roll!

Lisrey :tomato:

Hi Journal,
I'mmmmmm backkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!! I had temporary "left" diettalk but I feel better now and I can't see myself leaving my dear friends here.
My good news is that I am still going strong with my personal 7 day challenge to exercise and drink my water. I HAVE gotten 30 minutes or more of exercise EVERYDAY since this challenge began. And I have drank 64 ounces of water everyday. I feel like I am regaining control.
My blood sugar is still flucuating but I have had no dangerous readings so I will be thankful for that.
I am tired (lots of moms and babies to take care of tonight:D ) so I will be heading to bed now to dream about Dan. He is supposed to come visit me tomorrow and Thursday so if I don't post for the next fews days I will be off cuddling with him somewhere. We have some snowy, icy roads though so if he decides to put off the visit:c( I will post again tomorrow. Either way, I WILL continue to exercise, drink water, and monitor my blood glucose.


HUGS :)


VICKIE :coach:

P.S. I almost forgot!!! I lost another 3 lbs so my stats have been changed. YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Dear Journal,
Well, the weather forced a cancellation to my visit with Dan but we had TWO wonderful conversations on the phone yesterday so I am thankful for that.
This is the last day of my personal 7 day challenge to exercise and drink my water. And I am proud to say that I AM TRIUMPHANT!!!!!!! :D
I am even getting closer to regaining control of my blood sugar again. I feel better each day and I can now remember what it felt like to be active. I LOVE EXERCISE. So much so that I am thinking of getting some specialized training and going into exercise physiology as a career when I am tired of maternity. Or maybe I can do both.
Later today, I will be back and post my new personal challenge. I thought I would challenge myself for the entire month of March but I like the idea of weekly challenges. It tends to make goals seem much more attainable. So that is my general plan for now. Week by week. Until I am back in control. Baby steps:)
Well, If everyone could just say a quick prayer for good weather this weekend, I would be forever in your debt. I want to see my sweetie and he is going to try to come visit me this weekend if the ice and snow goes away. Spring cannot come too soon for me, LOL!!



HUGS :)


Vickie:coach:

Well I found you back and I'm so happy about that. And also happy about you meeting your 7 day challenge in such a tremendous way. Boy, you are GOOD...!
What great exercise and what great water consumption.
Sorry that Dan couldn't come earlier but I'm sure, positive that the weather this weekend will be great for travelling. Believe me...:)
I'll keep my fingers crossed and whatever other bodyparts are required....
Have a super day today Vickie. :rose:

Angie

Congratulations on the great success with your challenge and your three pound loss Vickie! Doesn't that make you feel great?!? Way to go! I am so happy for you, and I hope you have an absolutely wonderful time with your Sweetie. Enjoy every minute of it!

Lisrey :flower:

Hello Angie and Lisrey,
How are two of my all time fave Diettalk buddies doing?????? Well, I hope. You are both doing such a tremendous job!!

My second personal weekly challenge is starting in the morning.
Hopefully, I will have another weight loss to post as I am now gonna weigh in on Fridays. My priorities for this week are as follows:

PRIORITY ONE: EXERCISE EVERYDAY FOR 30 MINUTES.
4 OF THESE EXERCISE SESSIONS WILL BE WALKING ON THE TREADMILL. I WILL ALSO START STRENGTH TRAINING AGAIN THIS WEEK.

PRIORITY TWO: INCREASE WATER CONSUMPTION TO 80 OZ. PER DAY!!!!!

PRIORITY THREE: CHECK MY BLOOD PRESSURE TWICE THIS WEEK.

PRIORITY FOUR: CONTINUE TO MONITOR BLOOD GLUCOSE

PRIORITY FIVE: LOSE 2 LBS. THIS WEEK. (WEEK BEGINNING 3/1/02)

I hope you guys have a wonderful weekend. I heard this area is getting lots of snow and ice overnight friday night. So probably no Dan for me again :c( I have to start thinking about moving closer to him, lol!!!!!


HUGS :)


Vickie:c(

Maybe they're wrong....they must be wrong with that weather forecast. No more snow...think spring....!
I'll send good vibes down your way, maybe that helps...
So today is weigh-in day! Lots of success Vickie, it can't be anything else but successful because you did soooo well this week. Let us know quickly....
Have a fabulous Friday Vickie!:rose:

Angie

Hi Angie,
Thanks for the support. I weighed myself this morning and you will not believe this!!! A 4 pound weight GAIN!!!!! I am hoping it is water weight or muscle or my clothes were too heavy or something, LOL! I will weigh again on Monday which is my normal weigh day and hopefully, things will look better. I am not giving up!!!!
I walked like a fiend today and although I didn't measure how far.......it had to be at least 4 miles. My legs are just aching so bad.
And I had a grand total of 96 ounces of water in today.
Eating was good too. So I am proud of myself that I did not go on an emotional binge after I gained the weight!!!! I will just keep on keeping on and hope it evens out in the end. LOL!!!
Night Angie, I am tired and sleepy. See you later alligator!!!


HUGS :)


Vickie:coach:

dear journal,
i feel so overwhelmed and alone in this diet venture right now and i just want to give up! i cannot lose this %#$*@ 4 pounds that have been playing games with me and i cannot beat this addiction to chocolate. i am wondering if there is any reason to keep trying. :c( i wish i could just be successful in one thing that i try.



vickie:(

Hold on, Vickie!! You can do it & we are all here to help you. It's frustrating and it takes work and time, but if it's really what you want, you can attain anything. Those four pounds will melt away before you know it, along with four of their friends. Don't give up on yourself! We're all behind you!

Lisrey :rose: :rose: :rose:

hi lisrey,
thanks for visiting me. i guess i did a bit better tonight in the candy department. only because i told myself that i didn't care if i ate the stuff or not. i only took a couple pieces and it was not a binge thing like last night. :c(
i am struggling with this and i am wondering if my moodiness and sadness could be as a result of glucose withdrawl.
and i am REALLY tired of watching the scale yo yo up 4 lbs.........down 4 lbs!!!! Will this EVER end????????
tomorrow is a new day with a fresh start. maybe i can work on something else then.

congrats on your successes lisrey...you are doing great and THANK YOU SO MUCH for being here when you are needed!!!


HUGS :)


Vickie:coach:

Vickie, you must have been posting in my journal this morning while I was reading your post here. Thanks for your kind words! You are one of my favorite people here; I hope you won't give up! When I read your recent post that you had "left" DT but then came back, I thought, "Oh No!"

I wanted to say something to encourage you this morning, but I'm not sure what that is, except, I am listening to you & walking the trail with you. I had a frustrating plateau that lasted from September to December last year. I didn't gain, but I didn't lose either. It was crazy! I tried a lot of things at first, but they didn't work, so snacking crept back in & then, of course, I couldn't lose anything anyway.

Guess what I'm trying to say is I know how frustrating this can be, but you have so much to be happy about with your wonderful new Sweetie & all -- don't let the day to day frustrations of this depress you. It WILL come off & stay off if you plug at it long enough, and I am proof that you can get a second wind & start steadily losing again. Anytime you need an ear to yakk at, PM me! I'm here for you! You're the best & we can do it!!

Lisrey :rose: :) :rose:

I'm glad you sound a bit better than the last time. Pheeew!
You scared me there.
You know that I am here for you, really no reason to feel sad and lonely at DT. I'm just a PM away my dear. And it seems that you've found a real good friend in Lisrey too.
So stand up straight and look those 4 lbs straight in the eye. Tell them to take a hike and never come back.
You know Vickie, we will do this. We will do this together.
How's Dan?
Hope you have a great day today. A happy one.:rose:

Angie

Hi Journal,
I guess I am gonna try to start all over again. I am scared of being a failure but I will never be a winner at anything if I don't try. Baby steps is what I have been hearing works the best so thats what I will try.
One thing I am not gonna do is step on that dreaded scale for a few weeks unless my clothes start feeling tighter!!! This 4 pound plateau is killing me and making me depressed and discouraged so I refuse to look again. I will weigh again at the end of the month and if all goes well I will be down to 235. (the plateau is 238 to 242)!!!!!
ANGIE and LISREY: Thank you so much for visiting me. You guys are keeping me sane right now!
I am working a 12 hour shift Friday evening so I probably will not post until Saturday evening sometime. But I am ok and still pushing forward...its one of the hardest things I have ever done.
Have a wonderful weekend.

HUGS :)


Vickie:coach:

hi sweetie,
i am working tonight too but thought i would check in with you before i head to bed.
i know its frustrating and discouraging to be on a plateau but hanging in there is the only answer.
you are never alone...as angie said PM me or email me i am always around.
hugs bell :)
bell9973@yahoo.com.au

Good luck with your 12-hour shift. That must seem like it lasts forever. Unless you get real busy ofcourse.
Remember what I said about the junk around the nurses station. Just pick it up and move it somewhere else. Tell them: Guys, you don't mind if I move this, do you? They won't and if they do, though luck.
I think it is a good plan to wait with weighing. There are lots of people around that only weigh once a month. People that go by the feel of their clothes.
So have a great day today Vickie.:rose:

Angie

Angie's right -- that once-a-month weigh-in might be just the thing for you to try right now. Put the scale out of your mind & just concentrate on each day.

If you have a hard time with goodies being around your workplace, maybe add some of your own healthy snacks to the mix. I'd take in a jar of fat free pretzels. Then when you have the urge to pick up something out of that spread, you'll have a positive choice you can make. :D

We're all in this together & we're all here cheering you on! You can do it, Rah, Rah, Rah!!! :coach:

Lisrey :x

dear journal,
here i am, still trudging on! i am still struggling with the food choices.....eating stuff i KNOW i should not be eating. but i am finally getting a handle on the exercise part. i cannot wait to see changes for the better in my legs, tummy and waist.
dan was here friday and saturday then he went home.......:c( I miss him so much!!!!!!! i am busy looking up low fat, heart healthy recipes that i can adapt to diabetic recipes cause i LOVE cooking for him....but i have no wish to contribute to his high cholesterol or diabetic problems. i want him to get healthy too. its strange to realize how much i want to protect him and take care of him........these are completely new emotions for me. and they are scary too. i wish my mom was still alive so i could talk to her about things.....not just the desire to take care of him, but everything concerned with being in love for really the first time.
well lisrey, angie and bell: thanks to each of you for the visit and the well wishes. I will be back and hopefully have more positve changes to share with you. I love all of you. you are my rocks, my foundation, what keeps me trying. THANKS from the bottom of my
:sweety:
Have a wonderful monday!!!!

HUGS :)

Vickie:coach:

Vickie, Just popping in to say HI!! So glad you are still trudging along. Everythng will fall in line. Its neat to be protective of your sweetie. ANd its good for both of you. Im sorry he lives so far away. I did the one a month weigh ins too. It's a good way to get the focus off the scale. You are doing great. :x

Dear Journal,
Wellllll, I do not wish to jinx myself or anything but I think I am finally starting to get a handle on this adventure again. Its not perfect but I am learning not to desire perfection cause it always leaves me feeling like a miserable failure. I am not obsessing over the fact that the scale is being so stubborn or that the chocolate is sitting right there waiting for me...calling to me. And I am finding it a bit easy to concentrate on doing good things for me because of it. I even have walked right past the candy and thought to myself...."you don't need that right now" and I forget about it.
I'll be back in a few days to update but for now things are looking:up:


HUGS :)


Vickie:coach:

Vicki,

just wanted to say your doing great. Give those scales a punch and continue on. Our weight will go up and down a bit then plateau a bit. Very annoying but just continue on with your healthy habits and that darn scale will go down again.

I read back a few posts, you are not a failure sweetie, look at all the weight you have already lost. Now that is success from a successful person. Way to go turning your attitude around and continuing on. Yah!!!!!!

Vickie, I'm sooooo happy to hear you back in positive spirits again! Attitude is everything! And it is just so true that once you show yourself that you can do something, you become more comfortable and confident doing it. You show that candy dish who's boss, LOL!! :D

I am super happy for you that your new plan of attack is working with the weighing once a month. You are doing it! Congrats!

Lisrey :rose: :lily: :rose:

Hi Pastel and Lisrey,
Thanks so much for visiting. I appreciate it so much and it is always so nice to return "home" and find out that someone cared enough to visit. :D
So far, my week is going great! I am still exercising daily. and my blood sugars today were AWESOME.......all in the fairly normal range except for fasting. This morning my fasting glucose was 159 and it should have been below 120. But I am making progress...slow and steady......and I will be victorious in the long run.
I picked up my leadership packet from the March Of Dimes Walkathon today. I am gonna be the team leader for the hospital team. I have such fun doing this. I have to be back up to walking fairly long walks by May.....this is a 10k walk!!!!!! My other walks have been easy....piece of cake!! Hope this one is too! So I am officially IN TRAINING for a 10k walk. I will be successful here!!!
I don't get to see Dan til the weekend :c( but it will be nice then too. I can be patient:D
Better get to sleep now. Thaks for the visits again. Have a wonderful weekend.

HUGS :)


Vickie:coach:

By the way: I am stashing a diabetic goodie basket at work now....whenever someone needs a sugar free treat I know exactly where it is. And I am not being tempted by the candy. I have fresh fruit, diabetic candy, diabetic cookies, sugar free gum. Its AWESOME!!!!! All tucked away in a cute little Easter basket. I should have thought of this longgggggg ago.:up:

Vickie, you are doing awesome! What a great idea with the goodie basket!

It is so great to hear you sounding positive, and taking charge! Good for you!

Hi Vicki,

Way to go with the exercise. I have gone from a non-walker to easily doing 7-8 K. I can do 10 K but do my legs ever hurt afterwards. What a good incentive the 10 K is to make sure you keep up with your walking.

What a great idea your goodie basket is. Having treats you can have will help you keep away from the other stuff. You must be doing okay foodwise for your blood sugar to be good. I just had my check up and mine is a bit high. I am borderline diabetic. If I eat properly my blood sugar is okay but if I don't it goes high. Right now I don't need any medication so I better keep eating healthy.

Hey Vickie,
I love to read all these positive things. Doing great with your blood sugar, the diet, exercise and then that goodie basket. What a wonderful idea.
You rock girl. Have another great day today. It will be weekend before you know it! :sweety:

Angie

Hi Vickilyn,

I am also a diabetic and I liked your idea of stashing a Diabetic goodie basket at work. I however, lived in denial for so long, got on track beginning of last year and had some medical issues so I get to start my journey over again :)

I just purchased the Mr. Food Quick & Easy Diabetic Cooking Cook Book and I really like it. I have shown my hubby-aka Papa just what the size of 3 oz again. Maybe, this time, when he cooks he will get the size right. LOL

Here is one of the recipes in the book - maybe you can try it.

SODA-CAN CHICKEN

1/2 cup barbecue sauce
1 can (12 oz) diet lemon-lime soda HALF FULL
1 tablespoon dried basil
2 teaspoons paprika
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 whole chicken (3-1/2 pounds), skin removed

1. REMOVE TOP OVEN RACK. PREHEAT OVEN TO 350 F. ADD THE BARBECUE SAUCE TO THE HALF-FULL CAN OF SODA. IN A SMALL BOWL, COMBINE THE BASIL, PAPRIKA, ONION POWDER, GARLIC POWDER, SALT AND PEPPER; MIX WELL AND RUB EVENLY OVER THE CHICKEN.

2. PLACE THE CAVITY OF THE CHICKEN "OVER" THE SODA CAN SO THAT THE CHICKEN IS SITTING VERTICALLY ON THE CAN, THEN PLACE THE CAN ON A RIMMED BAKING SHEET AND BAKE ON BOTTOM OVEN RACK FOR 1-1/2 TO 1/ 3/4 HOURS, OR UNTIL NO PINK REMAINS AND THE JUICES RUN CLEAR.

3. CUT THE CHICKEN INTO SERVING SIZE PIECES AND CAREFULLY POUT THE REMAINING SAUCE FROM THE CAN OVER THE CHICKEN.

NOTE: THE SODA CAN IS VERY VERY HOT WHEN IT COMES OUT OF THE OVEN, SO USE OVEN MITTS WHEN HANDLING IT!!!


Exchanges 5 very lean meat - 1 fat
Calories 218
Fat 8g
Sat Fat 2g
Cholesterol 90mg
Sodium 409mg
Carbs 4g
Fiber 1g
Sugar 3g
Protein 30g

Serving Size 1 to 2 pieces Total Serving 5

Hope you enjoy it.

Hugs,

Ducky

Hello Cari, Pastel, Angie and Ducky,
Thank you all for visiting my journal. I came home from work a bit early tonight....not feeling real well. I am coughing, feverish, and very achy. I can't be around the babies with a fever so they made me come home :(. I hope I am not getting the flu. I slept several hours then decided to get up and catch up on some DT reading.

The efforts to eat right are still going well.....of course today I have not had much of an appetite but I made myself eat regularly anyway. I will not take a chance on getting hungry later and eating something NOT ON THE PLAN! My blood sugars have been great today and I made myself exercise today too! Tomorrow may be a forced day of rest though. :c(

Two more days till I go to visit Dan.......pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee don't let me get sick!!!!!!!! We haven't had time to talk to each other on the phone this week.....but the emails have been flying back and forth.

I guess several of you tried to PM me today and my box was full. SORRY! I cleaned it all out tonight.

Have a wonderful Friday....and weekend too. If I go to visit Dan, I will not be visiting Diettalk this weekend. :o


HUGS :)



Vickie:coach:

P.S. Hi Ducky, THANKS for the wonderful recipe......I will definately try it. Sounds delicious. I will be looking for that cookbook too.

That sounds good to me Vickie. I'll hold the fort, while you're away!:)
Sorry to hear you're not feeling 100%. Lotsa fluids girl, lotsa fluids will help to flush it out. Some extra vitamine C will help too.
At least it does in this family.
Hope you'll be up to visiting Dan on the weekend. Otherwise he has to come your way and make you some chicken noodle soup.
Enjoy your Friday! :rose:

Angie

hope you arent getting the flu Vickie. i am with Angie plenty of fluids and get to bed early and get a good nights sleep.
good for you on getting in some exercise but dont force yourself if you still dont feel well tomorrow.
i will check back tomorrow to see how you are feeling.
get well..
hugs bell :)

Hi ((((Angie)))) and ((((Bell)))),
How wonderful to see that the two of have visited me!!!!
I am feeling a bit better today. No fever and just a bit of achyness. I think this cough will hang around for awhile though.
:( .
Well, I tried to sleep in this morning but it seems that EVERYONE wanted to visit me....the doorbell was ringing all the time. And once I was up......whew.....was I ever busy!!!!
But the day is over now and my nice warm bed is sitting there looking ever so inviting and calling my name too!!! LOL!!!
My food choices were great today and my glucose was the best they have been in weeks and weeks. I did some mild exercises today but I did about 45 minutes worth so I counted that as my daily exercise.
Talked to Dan twice on the phone today. It was soooooooo good to hear his voice. We decided that I would stay home this weekend because of my illness. And he has been having stress related headaches the past several days. He told me tonight that earlier today he had that funny chest discomfort again, only this time he did say it was like a mild painful sensation. I am worried sick about him but again he refused to go be checked out. He says he will rest and relax this weekend and he will be fine. What can I do with him?????????????? I am worried about him being there all by himself and not being able to get help in a hurry. He just laughs and says that is the nurse part of me and for me to stop worrying. We set up a "date" :D for Sunday afternoon but I do not think I will be able to not talk to him until then. I will have to call him tomorrow evening just so I know he is ok.
Well, I must get up at 5:30 in the morning to get ready for prenatal class. So I better be getting to bed. Talk to you all real soon. Have a wonderful weekend.


HUGS :)


Vickie:coach:

Hi Vickie,

I know it is difficult but I think you should trust Dan a little in this. He is a grown man and has been taking care of himself pretty well over the years. Don't start nagging...
A gentle reminder once in awhile especially when it keeps occuring but I think that's all you should/can do. Ofcourse that is only MHO. Sure, you are worried sick because you love the guy. Guys are like this though, they have to pratically go into cardiac arrest before they will go and see a doc. :)

Seems like you had a great day, feeling better and all. Hope yesterday was just as good and that the weekend will be even better. Especially Sunday. :sweety:

Angie

Dear Angie,
Hello dear friend!!!!!!! Thanks for the visit. It is always nice to see you here.
I think you are right about leaving Dan alone with this chest pain problem for now. I want him to feel free enough to discuss this with me so I can tell if it is getting worse or not. So for now, I will let it drop and just keep a very close watch on him. He won't even know that he is already lovingly receiving medical attention.:doc:
Thanks so much for the advice. It is very much appreciated.

I did very good with my blood glucoses today. ALL within normal limits. I find that I have to eat far less carbs than I used to be able to eat to keep my blood glucose in control. And I am getting soooo tired of sticking my fingers. It's just something that has to be done. And I am sure that the daily exercises are helping alot. Soooooo, maybe this time when I weigh, I will actually have lost some weight. :D I am so looking forward to that!!!!!

Well, I better be getting some sleep. I have places to go and people to see tomorrow. Have a wonderful Sunday my friend.

HUGS :)

Vickie:coach:

Vickie, you are doing fabulous! I am so happy for you and proud of you! :) When are you going to be weighing yourself? I think you need to give it some time as you'd planned... Don't want to ruin your momentum with some kind of crazy reading on the scale... It's how you feel & your attitude that matter, not a number, right? Go, go, go!!!! :coach:

Take care & have a great day!

Lisrey :x

Hi Vickie,

I hadn't heard from you whether you made and if you enjoyed the cookies; if you need more recipes ..... let me know. Just because we're diabetics doesn't mean that we can't enjoy our treats or our meals. Hope you had a fantastic weekend. As always, Monica

Hi Monica,
Thanks for visiting my journal :)
I have tried the cookie recipe and it was wonderful. You cannot even tell that they are diabetic. I will definitely be baking more this next weekend.
I will try any recipe you have that you think is worth sending. For some reason, I am in this baking...cooking mode lately. Maybe its the nesting instinct...LOL!!
I did not test my glucose today....my fingers are getting so sore and I have tested regularly for 2 weeks now. I am getting closer and closer to being back in control again but I am eating much less carbs lately.
I got up late this morning and went out to breakfast with my brother. Then I ate dinner around 6 and thats all I have had today. I am pretty sure I stayed within a reasonable calorie range. But just in case, I need to be very careful tomorrow.
Exercise is still going strong too. I am meeting a friend from work at the gym at 8 am tomorrow to work out. It should be pretty cool to have an exercise buddy. I have been at this alone for a LONG time.
Better get to bed and rest up. 8 am comes pretty early to those of us that usually sleeps til 10 am or later. HA!!!


Hugs :)


Vickie:coach:

Dear Journal,
Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I am back up to 3.5 miles on the treadmill!!!!!!!!!!!!! It feels wonderful to be walking again.!


Hugs :) TO MYSELF!!!!!!!!!


Vickie:coach:

Way to go Vickie.....you are doing super!

I am glad you enjoyed the cookies. I thought I would put this recipe in your journal .... give it a try:
COCONUT ALMOND CAKE

1 1/2 cups Reduced Fat Bisquick
1/2 cup Splenda Granular
1/2 tspn baking powder
2/3 cup nonfat milk
1 large egg (1/4 cup Fleischmann's Eggbeaters)
1 tbspn canola oil
1/2 tspn vanilla
6 tbspns shredded coconut
2 tbspns Splenda Granular
1 tbspn brown sugar
3 tbspns sliced almonds
1 tbspn melted margarine

Preheat oven to 350 degrees; spray a square baking pan with nonstick cooking spray.

In bowl, mix Bisquick, 1/2 cup Splenda, baking powder. Add milk, egg, oil and vanilla. Stir mixture until smooth. Spoon into prepared pan.

Place coconut, 2 tbspns Splenda, brown sugar and almonds. Add margarine and mix well. Sprinkle mixture on top of cake. Bake for 20 minutes or until center of cake springs back when lightly touched. Serves 8 to 10

Total Calories -- 160
Total Fat -- 7 grams
Saturated Fat -- 2 grams
Carbohydrates -- 20 grams
Sugar -- 5 grams
Fiber -- 1 gram
Sodium -- 270 milligrams
Protein -- 3 grams

(If you want .... freeze Dannon Light n Fit Peach Yogurt .. let soften and top your cake with a unique frozen yogurt dessert --total calories 280)

Leave a message on my journal if you enjoyed this dessert. Always, Monica

Hi Monica and Cari,
Thanks so much for visiting!!! I trust you both are doing well :).

I am still plugging along...........doing what I HAVE to do to be successful. i am a bit disappointed in myself right now....I ate candy tonight :c( but I will not let it sidetrack me from my goal.
I have worked hard the past week or two and I will not let one moment of weakness make me throw in the towel!!!!!!
I did great with my food today except for the attack of the killer candy dish. :laugh:
MONICA: This recipe looks so delicious. I cannot wait to get started baking it. Thank you SOOOOOOO MUCHHHHHH!!!!!
Its so nice of you to send recipes to me.


HUGS :)


Vickie:coach:

Vickie, your decision not to let the dreaded candy dish exert any greater pull on your life is super! Our mistakes only have power over us if we allow them to derail us!

Way to go Vickie!

Hi Cari,
Thanks for the visit. It's much appreciated.
Today has not been the best of days for me....PMS'ing I guess. I feel kinda blue and frustrated. I ate 2 pieces of birthday cake at my brothers party and have no idea how many calories it contained. Many, many I am sure. But I only had 1200 calories in my normal daily menu so I guess i can be thankful for that. :) And I got my exercise in today AGAIN!!!!!! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
Hakuna Matata. LOL!!!!! (Thats "Lion King" logic) lol. I love that movie. Hahahahahaha!!!!
I am missing Dan big time tonight. He is in Indianapolis for some business meetings. I can't even talk to him right now:(
Despite all these things that would normally bring me to my knees, I am still feeling optimistic. Tomorrow is a new day filled with awesome possibilities.


HUGS :)


Vickie:coach:

Vickie, that cake is a blip. Figure out what prompted you to eat it, and deal with the trigger.

You are doing fantastic! I am so pleased to hear about your progress. Keep up the good work, and don't let your mind dwell on the blips. You know the drill...I know you do :grin:

Hi Cari,
Thanks for the visit again. You are always so optimistic......I wish I was. I am doing much better in that department though. LOL!!!
I think the cake was basically because my hormones are raging in all directions and I tend to want chocolate when TOM visits. Also, eating has ALWAYS been a big celebratory thing in my family. Whenever a few of us get together ....WE EAT!!!! Everyone else was eating so I HAD to eat.....didn't I ????? LOL!!! Live and Learn and Learn and Live.
Still doing great in the calorie intake business. And I got all 96 ounces of water today too! No exercise though :( Been really busy today!!!!
Take care,

Vickie:coach:

Hey,
Its me again. I just wanted to be goofy and post my 750th post in my own journal! Yeahawwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!
Have a TERRIFIC thursday!!!!!


HUGS :)


Vickie:coach:

Way to go Vickie! Love the excitement!

Dear Journal,
Today has not been a good one diet wise. But it is behind me now and I can't change it. I CAN start with the very next bite of food that enters my mouth and get back on program.
It is so cold here! It's supposed to be spring but I think it is supposed to be 14 degrees here tonight. I think I will just hibernate for the rest of the night and watch movies and pamper myself a bit.
Tomorrow I might be going to see Dan if things work out right. I miss him but his kids are coming this week end for spring break and I do not want to take any attention away from their reunion. So I might end up staying home again this weekend. :( We'll see what happens I guess.
I have a few more journals to visit then its MOVIE time!!!! LOL!

Thanks for visiting again Cari. You are the bestest!!!!

HUGS :)


Vickie:coach:

Hi Vickie ,

I left you a recipe for cake, how about making that for yourself; or better yet ....make yourself a parfait using Jello Sugar-Free Jello and canned fruit packed in juice.

If you have the time and inclination .... let me know if there are foods that you would like to try .... I will either leave the recipe here in your journal ... or I can email it to you if you email me at monicapink6@hotmail.com.

And my friend .... please don't beat yourself up .. YOU CAN DO THIS ... IT TAKES TIME that is for certain BUT YOU CAN AND WILL SUCCEED. Be kind to yourself. Let me know ....okay. Always, Monica

We are having the cold & snowy stuff here, too. Keep warm and do some of that pampering... that's what we need when spring treats us this way, LOL!

I hope you have a wonderful weekend no matter what you do... Great attitude hopping back on track -- we are doing it!

Lisrey :rose: :D :rose:

Hi ((((((MONICA)))))) and (((((LISREY))))),
Thanks for visiting the old journal, lol!

I decided to go to Dans house anyway for the weekend and I had a wonderful visit with him and his son. Daughter decided not to come.
I did very well with my food plan until we went shopping Saturday morning for Scott (his son) who is 6'4" and skinny as a rail!!!!!!! He likes cookies! lol! I was lucky to escape with my life.
Well, this Friday is my moment of truth. I will weigh myself after skipping several weeks. I hope I have lost a few pounds but if not, I have learned some serious lessons from the last few weeks, thinking things out the way I did. I will keep trying and eventually hit the right combination of food, exercise, and control to be successful.
Tomorrow I am gonna be trying some more of your recipes Monica. I appreciate your help in this area. Its nice to have friends:)
Lisrey, spring has to be lurking closeby somewhere. He will be making a real honest to goodness appearance someday soon. If not, I am packing my bags and heading back to Florida!!!!! Gotta figure out someway to trick Dan into getting ionto one of my suitcases though. LOL!!!

Talk to you all later.


HUGS :)


Vickie:coach:

Vicki,

Let me know how you do on your weigh in ... and let me know about other meals you can make for yourself ...for your lunches and dinners .. things you can prepare ahead of time and freeze. I need to know what your likes are so that I can look for recipes that will help not only with your weight loss program but help with the diabetes as well. Take care my friend. Always, Monica

LOL Vickie it does have to turn to spring here someday, doesn't it?!? Actually, there is a purple crocus budding in my front yard this morning. It will probably open up tomorrow. So even though it is chilly there are signs... the robins have returned and are everywhere.

I am so glad you had a nice weekend with Dan! Was this the first time you met his son? Sounds like it went pretty well! I am sure you've lost some weight with the focus and determination you've had the past few weeks. I will keep all my fingers and toes crossed for you on Friday & can't wait to hear the results! (Fingers and toes are going to get numb by then, so hope it hurries up!) :D

Take care & have a GREAT week!

Lisrey :lily:

Dear Journal,
Only 3 more days and it will be weigh day for me.....I am getting very nervous. I know that, with a few minor problems, I have done very well with this program the past few weeks.
I have remained on program with my food intake.......and had no chocolate binge lately. Its almost Easter here and we have candy all over the nurses station again. :( I was not even tempted though tonight.....even though one of my co-workers was determined to make me eat "just one piece"! I am sure she knows that "just one piece" will trigger a huge chocolate binge...and I refuse to go there this time.
I am doing great with the water intake and the blood sugar monitoring. My exercise is great....:lift:..... and my water intake is great too.:water:
We have almost a foot of snow on the ground here. But I truly believe that spring is just around the corner. I hope everyone has a wonderful Wednesday!!!!!



HUGS :)


Vickie:coach:

Vickie,

I am so proud of you ..... I just had to stop by to see how you were doing. KEEP BEING STRONG ...it will pay off BIG TIME .

Remember to BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF ..... losing weight permanently takes time ..... BUT WE ARE WELL WORTH THE TIME IT TAKES.

Let me know when you are ready for more recipes ..... do you think you would like to have a Veggie Pizza .... let me know. Always, Monica

Goodmorning Journal,
Monica....thanks for the encouragement. It is ALWAYS great to see you visiting here.
The sun is BEAUTIFUL here today and it is actually supposed to warm up some. Maybe into the 50's by Friday!!!!!!! Yayyyyyyyyyy!!
I feel so energetic and happy today!
I am wearing clothes today that haven't fit well in months. Either I have lost weight or my fat is being redistributed :laugh: .
I slept in a bit this morning, now i need to exercise before going to work and facing the candy again. The nurses I will work with tonight are very supportive of my decision to not eat the stuff and they are very willing to move it away from the main desk to one of the near by offices. That helps me alot.
I have also started wearing my medic alert bracelet (instead of my necklace) because it is more visible to me. I see it each time I reach for something and it reminds me that I am diabetic and to stop and think before I eat.
Monica, I love vegetable pizza with a thin crunchy crust. I have problems trying to find someone else who will share it with me when I order it from pizza places (most ppl I know want all the fatty meats and TONS of cheese) so I end up eating way to much of it. Gotta find a way around that. Do you have a recipe? Can it be frozen so I can divide up the portions?
I am happy today..........don't know if it is the loose clothing, the sunshine or the extra sleep but I feel great. Maybe a combination of the three.
Off to do my aerobics now. See ya all later.


HUGS :)



Vickie:coach:

Vickie, don't forfet that TOM leaving always brightens our mood too lol!

It is so great to see you sounding so confident! You are working hard at maintaining your resolve, and avoiding chocolate...you are maintaining a good attitude....you are refusing to allow others to have the power to derail you!

I am so proud of your success. Whatever the weigh-in says, you have done awesome in the last few weeks. You have grow3n by leaps and bounds, and in the end that will pay off.

Looking forward to hearing about your weigh-in...and of course more about yummy Dan lol

Vicki ,

The answer to both questions is YES .. I will try to put it here in your Journal later on today ..... or at best I will do it on Friday.

I will also include another main dish recipe .... one that is easy to prepare .

Monica

VEGGIE PITA PIZZA -- Serves 2

1 Pita Bread (I use large Sahara Whole Wheat)
2 to 4 tbspns pizza sauce (I use pasta sauce)
1 small zucchini ....finely chopped
2 tbspns chopped onion (I use green onion)
2 Italian tomatoes (sometimes called Roma)--chopped
2 tbspns sliced ripe olives
1/4 tspn salt (I use Morton's Light Low Sodium)
1/8 tspn basil
1/4 cup fat free shredded mozzarella

Split pita bread around the edge to make two slices; spread sauce on the pita bread.

Microwave zucchini and onion in microwave dish -- uncovered in dish until zucchini and onion are tender. Stir in tomatoes, olives, salt and basil.

Spoon vegetables on pita bread; top with cheese. Microwave uncovered on High for 90 seconds or until hot. Cut into wedges

Total Calories for 1 serving -- 150
Total Fat -- 5 grams
Saturated Fat -- 2 grams
Cholesterol 10 milligrams
Sodium -- 650 milligrams
Carbohydrates -- 21 grams
Dietary Fiber -- 4 grams
Protein -- 8 grams
Vitamin A 20%
Vitamin C 16%
Calcium 14%
Iron 8%

SWEET 'N SOUR BEEF WITH CABBAGE - Serves 2

1 tbspn vegetable oil
1/2 pound cut up beef (I use chicken instead of beef)
1 1/2 cups cut-up cabbage (I use packaged coleslaw mix )
1/4 cup sweet n sour sauce (select one that has less than 20 grams of sugar and is low in sodium)
Noodles (or rice )(I use brown rice)

Heat skillet; add 1 tbspn of the oil to coat skillet.

Add cabbage -- stir fry until crisp tender; add beef and sweet and sour sauce; cook and stir until hot.

Total Calories per 1 serving -- 265 (if chicken is used 235)
Total Fat -- 14 grams
Saturated Fat -- 4 grams
Cholesterol -- 65 milligrams
Sodium-- 190 milligrams
Carbohydrates -- 12 grams
Dietary Fiber -- 2 grams
Protein -- 25 grams
Vitamin A -2%
Vitamin C-18%
Calcium 4%
Iron 14%

THREE PEPPER PASTA -- Serves 4 (I love this recipe and it tastes better the next day)

4 cups uncooked bow-tie pasta
1 tbspn olive oil
2 green bell peppers, cut into strips
1 red pepper, cut into strips
1 yellow pepper, cut into strips
4 cups pasta sauce (I use Healthy Choice Vegetable Style Pasta Sauce)

Cook and drain pasta as directed on package

Place oil in skillet. Cook bell peppers in oil on medium flame; stirring occasionally until crisp tender.

Stir pasta sauce into pepper. Simmer uncovered. Serve over pasta.

Total Calories per serving -- 265
Total Fat -- 7 grams
Saturated Fat -- 1 gram
Cholesterol -- 0 milligrams
Sodium -- 730 milligrams
Carbohydrates -- 48 grams
Fiber -- 3 grams
Protein -- 6 grams
Vitamin A --26%
Vitamin C -50%
Calcium -4%
Iron--12%

Give these recipes a try ..... I really think you will like the pizza ...and you can add to it....come up with your own variations.

Let me know how they turn out ......okay . I now have to get going and start making the Baked Cranberry Chicken for our dinner this evening. Make it a great day. Always, Monica

Hi, Vickie!

Don't be nervous about your weigh-in... you are going to see results, it is clear. You have done such a great job focusing on good behaviors there will be something exciting there for you to see -- how could there not be?!? If something wacky happens and you haven't lost some, maybe you need a new scale! :laugh:

I am really proud of you and am so happy about your clothes fitting. It's great that your co-workers recognize that you are serious, too -- that will certainly be a help, to have their support. Go, go, go!!!!!! :coach:

Lisrey :up:

Hi,

Just sending you some encouragement for your weigh in day.. You can do it.. You are changing your life style to a healthier one so you're already a winner.

Remember don't let "SNIOP's" derail you..
Hugs,

Hi Vickie,

Well I guess I came back just in time for the Weigh In... Don't get nervous, it's just a number. And your clothes fitting better are proof that there is a change inch-wise.
Even in case your number on the scale has not changed, I betcha you're in a way better shape re. your diabetes and your heart is probably also thanking you. So keep on being happy about it all.
I was glad to read things are still going strong with Dan. Was that the first time you met his son? How old is Scott?
Hope you've had a great day today. Are you working this weekend? :spring:

Angie

Hi Ducky, Angie, Lisrey, Monica and Cari,
Thanks for the encouragement. I really appreciate it. Today has been an tough one for me self esteem wise. I can't figure out why I have been so emotional and agitated the past 2 days. Its not time for TOM. I just passed that landmark!!
The only thing I can figure out is that Sunday is the 2nd anniversary of my mothers death, and I miss Dan so much! he is busy with his son this week and I haven't been able to talk to him much. Of course, it could be that tomorrow is D-Day!!!! I have to get weighed and see if I did myself any good the past 3 1/2 weeks.
I have a doctors appointment coming up in 2 weeks and I have been nervous about that too. My blood sugars have not been very good most of the time until recently and even now I still have some stray results that I can't understand.
Well, I will get through tomorrow and my weigh in then concentrate on my next obstacle!!! I'll post more tomorrow! Wish me luck!!!!


HUGS :)


Vickie:coach:

Hi Vicki,

When my blood sugars are out of wack.. I get emotional.. and little things always bother me.. so .that could be it..

Don't look at your weigh in day as a D day.. because whether the scale shows a loss or whatever,.. as long as you are eating healthier and are doing some exercising you are better off than where you were before... RIGHT!!! :)

Just think, if you hadn't decided to start journaling.. just think if you hadn't decided that this time the weight would be off.. and it would be for good..

Just think if you hadn't found this website.. and all the supportive and encouraging people that are here..

Just think.. and remember you are loved for who you are.. inside.. and that the whole package will be showing soon..

Hugs..

:D YOU'RE GOING TO DO GREAT VICKIE...... I know it and you know it.

And I understand your feelings ..... I go thru the same thing when I have my dr. appt. .......blood sugars go up and down for all kinds of reasons ... can hardly wait to hear your success .... and all your news is going to be ok ...Always, Monica

Dear Journal,
I did the much anticipated weigh in today. After one whole month of exercising basically everyday and struggling all month to eat right, I still gained 2 pounds.
I don't understand this and I am not sure if I can do it anymore.
I do not feel like I will ever reach any goals so why bother to keep trying. Its just not working for me. It seems I can't control my weight, I can't control my blood sugar, I can't control my emotions, so what can I control??????????????????? And how am I supposed to resisit that Easter candy at work tonight when I have been resisting it for a whole month and it did me no good whatsoever!!!
I am soooooo ready to just throw in the towel and say who cares. But I do care and this is killing me. I don't know what else to do.



Vickie:c(

Vickie,

I know you are disappointed ....... but I want to offer a suggestion ..... how about writing your daily food intake .... and include your water intake as well.

Maybe if we see what you are eating .... we can offer suggestions . BUT PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF ....... I know the frustrations of high blood sugars ..... I know the emotions of being a diabetic ...... but if you look at where you have been, where you are and WHERE YOU ARE GOING TO BE .... I understand .... REALLY I DO UNDERSTAND and I wish I could do more. but I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS ....hang in there and DON'T :c( and DON'T GET X-( or :( -- BECAUSE IT WILL HAPPEN..... IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN ........ AND YOU WILL BE :) WITH YOUR SUCCESS. Always, Monica

Hi Vickie,
That is a very disappointing result. I am going to suggest the same as Monica.
Write it down for us. Weigh, measure... Maybe we can find something...
Don't give up. You cannot give up now. You've come too far...! And you deserve to be healthy, happy and to reach your goals. You can do this Vicky. I'm positive about it. And you know, if you need any help, I'm here for you. Only an email away.

Angie

Hi, Vickie:

I am sorry to hear you didn't lose, but don't forget all the wonderful changes you noted in your last posts! Your clothes are fitting better, right? What can that mean but that you're toning up? I have been going through a toning process & people have commented on my body looking slimmer, but I have only lost a couple of pounds. You are improving your health! Your weight can only follow. If you want to set a good example for Dan, too, keep your chin up and your positive attitude -- you can only succeed!

I'm here for you anytime too! Let me know if there's anything I can do to help! :)

Lisrey :hug: :rose:

Dear Journal,
I am still here.......and I am not giving up i guess. I tried to give up over the past few days. I have eaten all kinds of stuff and have not exercised once. I don't know what kind of damage that has done. I do know that I made myself physically ill eating junk so I can't do that again. And I can't spend the rest of my life hiding out from the world and crying hysterically like the majority of this past weekend has been spent.
I got up this morning and just out of curiosity, I measured myself. And I have lost 3 inches off my waist. So I will go on and keep trying. I don't have the ambition or the excitement I once had about trying but I will keep trying. Maybe at the least, I will keep the risk factors of being diabetic away if I attempt to control my blood sugars and the amount of weight I gain from here on out. I don't have much faith that I will lose any weight but at least I will try not to gain any more.
Don't know when I will have the courage to step on the scale again. The last weight sent me right over the edge and into a black abyss that I do not want to visit again anytime soon. Maybe I will continue to measure myself every few weeks. That might make me feel like I can be successful at something.
Lisrey, Angie and Monica, thanks for all the encouragement you have sent me. You are all so successful at this so that makes you great role models. If you think I should journal all my food and fluid intakes, I guess that is what I will do. I can't argue with success can I??? I will write everything down and post it tonight after work. I hope one of you will read it and find a big mistake I am making. At least then, all this will make sense to me.
I hope you all have a great day. I am leaving now for a visit with my treadmill.


HUGS,

Vickie:(

Vickie, I am soooo glad to see you back! I was worried you were going to throw in the towel and we wouldn't see you again. I would miss you so much! :( Your weight will come off if you keep working at it, I know it will. There are no pounds that stubborn, LOL. And that is just awesome about the three inches!! I wish my waist would do that!! See, you have made progress... It's just muscles you're building, and those will burn the fat faster while you're at rest... You'll probably see a huge drop when you finally see one! :)

We are here for you -- don't forget us! :D Take care & keep going, you will do it!

Lisrey :rose: :spring: :rose:

Dear Vicki,

I AM SO GLAD TO SEE YOU ........ :)

Before you pass out my halo :laugh: .......I got on the scale this morning .. and I knew that it would tell me what I already knew I GAINED .

Vicki, I know only one thing ... and it is something I must always remember .. IN ORDER FOR ME TO SUCCEED ... I HAVE TO TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME -- ONE MEAL AT A TIME. When I set goals for myself like losing x amount of pounds in a week -- and I don't do that .... I EMOTIONALLY KICK MYSELF OVER AND OVER AGAIN and that negates everything I do.

We have to BELIEVE IN OURSELVES Vickie, it took us time to gain the weight ... and YES it will take us time to lose it ..... BUT WE WILL .

If you would feel more comfortable (and that is very important ) not journalizing your menu, water and exercise ..... then don't do it. We have to feel comfortable with ourselves; it helps me to see (especially my blood sugars) in what direction I am going.

Don't :c( or be X-( at yourself . ..BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO SUCCEED ......you have all the time in the world . I am here for you .....email me ..... and know that THIS IS OUR YEAR TO GOAL. Always, Monica

Vickie,

Are you okay?

Please email me at monicapink6@hotmail.com ...... I am thinking about you ... and I really do want to hear from you. Always, Monica

April 3, 2002

Hi Vickie ...... Just stopped by to say hello. Want you to know I am thinking about you. Always, Monica :rose:

Vickie.
i am worried about you my friend. please check in so we know you are ok.
hugs bell :rose:

Thinking about you too Vickie. DO I need to send the search parties out?? I miss you on the journey.:x

Hello Vickie,

Just wanted to stop by and let you know I am thinking about you .. I hope you are making it a great day.

Write me when you can. As always, Monica

Vickilyn, we're all so worried about you. Where have you gone to? Please come back. We miss you! :rose:

Vicki,

Wow I just read your journal from beginning until the last post. Funny but I could have written a lot of it myself!! Unbelievable how alike we are.

Odd that you don't know how really special you are. I remember not that long ago a lady who was so consumed by love for a couple who lost their baby. How tender and loving you were to them when they needed someone. So sweetie how can you say that you are not successful at anything!! Then if you start thinking about the things you are successful at I think you will be surprised.

Who was it that was so supportive to her sis when sis was very ill? I believe that was you!! Who is it that takes care of babies at the hospital and does it very well?? Once again you!! Believe me it takes a very special person to deal with little ones and parents everyday. We all can't do that job only special people can like you.

Look at that special guy in your life now. Couldn't happened to a nicer person. I am sure Dan feels the same way. I know he feels he is the lucky one and he is!! Look how you take care of him. Paying attention to his health problems without making it a big issue and wanting to cook healthier for him.

I know you are feeling down and depressed. I want you to know that diabetes can do that to you!! It can make you very unhappy and distressed, I know I have been there. The food you eat or don't eat can also add to feeling yucky. Diabetes can make you uncomfortable in your own skin. Makes you tired and irritable. Makes you thirsty and then have to pee all the time. Gives you body aches and headaches. Then it can make you lightheaded and goofy!! Then on top of all that we have to go on a diet to feel better. If we could do that easily then we wouldn't be diabetic or overweight!!

So what to do? Never Never give in. No matter how slow the process is never quit!! You can do this I know you can. Just take one thing at a time. Those baby steps use them!! One pound at a time. One day at a time. Above all you are doing this for you!! You want to be healthier and happier!! Once you start having constant good sugar levels you will feel wonderful and then things will fall in line!! You will want to eat healthy. You will feel like exercising and those pounds will come off. Then you will be saying to yourself, "Hey this is easy."

So sweetie look at where you have been and how far you have come. Be proud of your success because you have had them and lots of them!!! Be proud of you cause we are. We are all here to help you in any way we can!! I know how it feels to be alone and think no one cares but I care. Here is my email address and email me anytime!! elizandcliff@earthlink.net If you use msn put me on your messanger and we can talk anytime. I have a ton of recipes if you need them. I have about 20 cookbooks of any food you can think of!! I can email you whatever you want.

I am here if you need me. Give Dan a big hug from me. It might scare him getting hugs from a stranger with white hair so you do it for me.
Love and
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Lizzie:D

Hi Vickie.. Sure miss your bright and cheery 'face' around here and there.. I've been AWOL myself over the weekend visiting dd and gs. but am back at it.. We won't give up...
3" is great.. keep up the good work..

Hi everyone,
I am so overwhelmed at the love and concern shown to me through this journal. THANK YOU so much.
First, I must apologise for causing you all the worry about me. I am so sorry. I have had one miserable week and I just didn't think about diettalk or that anyone here would be concerned about my absence.
I will try to explain where I have been the past few days, what lead me there and how I am now.
I guess you all know about me gaining weight after trying so hard so lose the entire month of March. Well, I had been under a great deal of stress from other things the week leading up to that weight and I think that helped contribute to my reaction to gaining the weight. March 31st was the 2nd anniversary of my mothers death and I was always very close to my mom. I miss her tremendously. Also, things at work are changing fast and furiously.....so many new policys to memorize. I just recently took over the childbirth education department and along with that came a lot of new responsibility and work. I am having trouble finding a nurse that wants to fill the position vacated by me when I was promoted so I am having to do the work of two nurses at the same time.
I am also chairperson of the March of Dimes campaign at the hospital. The fundraising walk is in 1 month and I am very busy with that.
When that weight turned out the way it did....I was devastated. And overwhelmed and felt like I could not take one more bit of stress.
On Tuesday of this week.......I crashed emotionally at work. I think I was very close to a emotional breakdown. I was so anxious and agitated and stressed that my blood pressure was 178/113 and I had a terrible headache and pain in my left jaw. And I couldn't seem to stop crying!!! Earlier in the day, I had woken early to a empty house and felt very isolated..........alone. I tried to call several friends and family members and no one was home. So I sat on the couch and watched it snow and cried hysterically for several hours.
Even after all this......I had to be in control so I did not call my doctor til around 10 am the next morning. He made me come right to his office and I cried on his shoulder for almost an hour. Boy, did I feel stupid. But he was wonderful and is the type of listener that can make you tell him things you normally wouldn't tell a doctor.
Today, finally, I am feeling 110% better. I am back on my antidepressant. He has re-evaluated and changed some of my medicines and even though I know the changes have not affected me physically yet...at least I can see my path clearly now and I have a direction to travel.
He told me not to worry about weight loss until i stablize my general health again then we will work on weight loss. My goals now are:

1) Stabilize and gain control of my blood pressure
2) Stabilize and gain control of my blood sugar
3) Stabilize and gain control of my depression
4) Sleep at least 8-9 hours each night
5) Exercise 60 minutes every day

Of course, I know that to control my blood sugar and blood pressure and even my depression.....I have to eat right. So technically I am working on weight loss. But he said not to obsess on how much I weigh for a few weeks.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....here I go again. Working to get healthy. At least now I have a clear head and I know I can do it.
Thank you all for the encouragement and help and love I feel from this community. I will strive not to worry anybody again.
Tomorrow I am going searching for a pretty little journal to write my thoughts in. That helped me with my depression before because I am totally honest there. I do not try to hide any feelings or emotions. So everything comes out and I have nothing left to internalize and worry over.
Oh, by the way..........Dan has decided that he cannot deal with dating someone who lives 200 miles from him and we should just be friends now. I see his point about the difficulties of long distance romances but he has no idea how bad his timing is. I did not tell him about my near miss with being committed to the psych ward........what would be the point of making him feel guilty? I want to stay friends with him though if I can (I am not sure if I can stand by and watch him date other women) because I truly care about him and being his friend is better than never seeing him again. But if nothing else works out.......I will be there to see it when he realizes that he will NEVER find another woman as NICE as me!!!!! :D
Its good to laugh again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



HUGS :)



Vickie:coach:

I was so happy to see you posting again today! Yea!!! And I am glad that you got through this tough time and are back to feeling good again. You are such a special person, Dan will have to figure that out! If you need shoulders to cry on, ears to fill, anything at all, you have to know that all of us are here for you and we will do whatever we can to help. Somebody is online practically all the time!! Call on us! We love you! :D

Take c