ok, i'm not sure if i am doing this right....but here is my accountability factor! I have allowed myself to become a big lump and I hate it! I have control of so many things, but in this I am completely undisciplined! (the only other way is that my car is a mess too....) Strangely enough, things are really great in my life -- that's always when I bulk up. Too bad I have had so many happy days....they are taking their toll!:laugh:

So, the plan is....eat right, reduce fat, reduce heavy protiens such as red meat, sausages (which I don't really like that much anyway, really) and cheese (like this when it's melted though). Also must get rid of heavy, no nutrition starches like white bread, plain pasta, etc. Most importantly I must exercise! consistently. My past habits have included many good intentions and actually pretty easy results, which then end in me finding a bit of success and then, rather than being encouraged to continue, I rest back on the success and somehow manage to slowly creep off the wagon.X-( My previous success with exercise has always been with some form of intense motivation....young and wanted to be a hottie, coach standing over me, wedding, big event, etc. (hence all the size 8 clothes in my closet collecting dust! I have never taken the more cerebral, "do it for my health" approach, so it did not take permanent effect. It seems to me that it really would be better to do it because it is a necessary part of life...like brushing your teeth. And, face it, it's really a lot of fun to look great!!!!!

Will weigh tomorrow morning. Then will figure out how to master this exercise thing.

Hang in there ivory, best thing to do is take it one day at a time. Im in need of loosing 100+ pnds and its not easy and I have fell off the wagon a many of times. All I know is that if I take little steps at a time I seem to do better at it. Keep your head up and keep working on it were all here to help you through this:) Exercizing is a hard one for me and many others as well, take it slow and work your way up, walking is the easiest to start with then work up from there as you can but I have found that going full force right from the start is bound for trouble take it slow. Also a biggy is drinking plenty of water :water: Your gonna do just fine, Hang out with folks in here when you feel at your most vulnerble and it really does help alot. Glad to have you with us. Your gonna do just find :) Keep your head up and go for it your worth it.:rose:

thanks for your encouragement! I have done pretty well today. I was looking at a magazine today and noticing all the cute clothes coming in this spring!

First, I started with no breakfast....ran out of time and had an 8:00 appointment. :( Not good, I realize....

But, made time for lunch. NF Bean burrito w/ no cheese but lots of salsa. 6 french fries from friend's value meal.....we can't be perfect.....so I figure celebrate the small victories. 6 over 6 dozen.
diet coke. the coke thing isn't necessarily great, but it's a must with spicy food.

snack: Daily latte w/ skim milk which helps keep eyes open.

Dinner: I have chicken w/ brown rice & organic vegies cooking at the moment. Yes. I cooked. No, hell hasn't frozen yet, but they were worried for a minute. :)

I have frozen blueberries in the freezer for dessert with a bit of lite yogurt.

Heading for the t-mill....MUST MEET 30 MINUTE MINIMUM!!!!! Can she do it?

Then, get a little more work done to put me to sleep! :o

Ivory rose your doing gr8 we have to smudge a bit once in awhile or we wont make it all all if we dont treat ourselves once in awhile just keep to you goals and think positive, and YES YOU CAN make it to 30 minutes :ex: , Get that water bottle out hun your body needs it :water: but one coke wont kill ya. Your doing gr8 girl. :) Im doing well and taking it one day at a time so far Ive lost 3 pnds in 3 days Im on a roll so I must go on:coach: as i tell myself you can do it keep that head up high and march on. I will keep in touch , you doing good :D

Thanks Country! Sounds like you are doing great too!

Well, we are on day 3 and I am feeling pretty cool.....:bfly:

I stayed away from sugar and managed to exercise....even if it was only a pitiful little bit! (25 minutes)

Breakfast: 2 pcs. whole wheat bread, one with organic almond butter and one with sugar free preserves. water w/ lemon

lunch was another (dummy me, got a case of the darn things....not thinking to myself "hey, what does one do with 12 frozen ff burritos?") ff bean burrito w/ home-made salsa my friend made.

2 waters bottles at work

dinner: chicken breasts with green beans and corn muffins
iced green tea

dessert: frozen berries with yogurt and granola (I was really in the mood for ice cream, so I ate a LOT of berries.....probably overboard....but not OFF TRACK!)

Onward and upward to tomorrow!!! TGIF!

:lily: :lily: :lily:

ok, there is no doubt about it.....I am a terrible social eater! Anytime I turn into a social bug I end up with so much fun food entering my mouth. X-( Hormones were not on my side this weekend either, for that matter. However....I won some battles and lost some -- and I am NOT going to follow my usual "all or nothing" course. Back in the center of the road today.

Breakfast -- too busy. this is so bad. but I did have 1/2 cup of pumpkin seed trail mix for a snack and a cup of earl gray at 10:00. Is that sort of like breakfast?

water x2

Lunch -- chicken sandwich and another water

snack -- ok, 5 sweettarts and 5 jelly beans. But I DID NOT eat that chocolate kiss with the fat in it!!!! :) SUGARHEAD SHAME!!!!!!! Another water.

Pre-dinner starvation snack -- carrots and ff tortilla chips with homemade salsa. soooooo good.

Dinner -- veggie stir fry with brown rice. Blueberries and lf yogurt for dessert. water w/ lemon

another water.

One water to go.

No walking today. Duh. That's it for my weekly "day off" already on Monday.

Onward tomorrow!!!!

Hi ivoryrose,

I appreciate your honest and spirited journal. Thanks for the suggestion in the buddy thread for me to start my own journal. I didn't know there was a place to do that. I'm starting my journal/journey today, thanks to you.

:flower: thinkspring

Thanks spring!!!! You are the best! Thanks to you I am getting back to my journal. I have no idea why I left it go for a while but I think it's a good tool...so, I'm back!!!!! If you still have a journal, I would like to check in if that's ok.... I think we can use all the extra support we can get, right?

Today -- Day one of the self-imposed 7 day mega fitness challenge. 7 days of GREAT eating habits, an extra 10 minutes of exercise (that means up to 40 minutes! yikes!) and moving in an aerobic motion for 6 of the next 7 days. ONWARD!!!!!!

Oatmeal for breakfast w/ a cup of coffee. Make that lf yummy coffee w/ sugar free french vanilla creamer in a pretty mug. mmmm. slurp.

Lunch -- must have salad. may have chicken on it. period. that's it. may seek a diet coke to accompany. must BE BRAVE.....go forth into the world of LOW FAT dressing!!!!!!!

Dinner -- this will be scary. Going out with friends again. I WILL remember that I can choose grilled chicken almost anywhere or I can find a vegitarian dish somehow and ...for the big one....I can avoid all mayo and cream sauce!!!!

I sooooo want to find my "old self" back. The one that wasn't perfect, but could nonetheless feel comfortable walking into a room without eyes judgeing whether I am a lazy slob who "let myself go" I AM TOO YOUNG FOR THIS!!!! HEAR ME ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did it! I actually stuck with the salad plan for lunch!!!! yipee...avoidance of temptation! And for dinner, I found out that our plans changed and we don't have to go out to eat. (lets not push my luck...) so, I will have a little control, and make good choices, right? RIGHT! :spring:

last night I did ok. Had a lf bean burrito, baby carrots (raw) and ONE piece of pizza. I did also add a serving of sf pudding. That was bad, I know, but I had a craving and it was better than the ice cream I wanted!

So, today, here is the plan:

breakfast: life cereal w/ soy milk

lunch: lean cuisine fetuccini (270 cals)

snack: yogurt and 1 pc. toast w/ jelly

dinner: ground turkey "meatballs", veggies, sm. baked potato

NO SWEETS TODAY!!!!! GET OVER IT!!!!

will let you know how its going......


oh, and OF COURSE, exercise!!!! I am doing a new "loserbuddy" challenge -- add an extra 10 minutes of exercise and move myself 6 out of the next 7 days! Hoping for big progress at the next weigh-in....it would really give me the boost I need!

Had to get taxes done, so dinner changed a little last night. I had 2 planks of fish to "get me by" and ate 1/2 c. cole slaw. I tried to pick off most of the breading, cuz that's where the fat is .... Waaaaaay too much fat, in fact, but actually fit into my calories, so it shouldn't do too much harm overall. Then, when I was starving later, I just had baby carrots when I normally would have had junk! happy happy happy, I beat the snack monster! I just kept thinking about my buddy challenge and remembering there was only 6 days left! I also did my 40 minutes of exercise! That is up 10 minutes from normal!!!! Last night was aerobics.

So, I am feeling great overall --

Today:

2 pc. diet toast w/ jam

salad type food or veggie burger w/ diet coke

yogurt

make the dinner I planned for yesterday: turkey, veggie, potato w/ lf sour cream and chives.

And of course.....the exercise challenge! Maybe treadmill tonight.

Ivoryrose:

Just thought I would stop by and check out your journal. Your doing great keep it up. Your right about the breading on fish having wayyy too much fat. I love fish but have been buying the whole salmons and bbqing them. I love the taste off the BBQ. Have a great day.

Judy2:rose: :rose:

Thanks Judy, for the tip! I bought a salmon this weekend and put it on the grill. The smoky flavor is really nice and although the salmon is a little high in fat, it is really nutrition packed!

This weekend did pretty good except last night I did have some cookies. FOR SHAME. but they were reduced fat, so maybe they won't push things over the edge. This time change thing has pushed me all out of whack. I hate it! Also, re: food....I have noticed that I eat way too much salt. I think it makes me puffy. I need to knock that off.

I am really determined today to stay on target and get my exercising in again. I have been doing good and don't want to jinx it! only 2 more days until weigh-in Wednesday.

I am thinking about trying metabolife....haven't decided yet.

today:

breakfast: yogurt and tea

lunch: chicken sandwhich (grilled)

dinner: chicken, 1/2 cup corn casserole (NO MORE....NO MATTER HOW MUCH I WANT IT!!!!) 1/2 c stove top made w/o butter, and veggies. Lots of veggies.

snack: dont know yet, but will have to decide before I'm starving.

be back later.

Only Tuesday and 4 whole days until the next weekend! Don't know why I am looking forward to the weekends so much anymore, but I am really having a hard time getting interested in work! I think it's because spring has sprung and I want to be outside and comfy in sandles....and shorts, so I better get to work on the "shorts" body...hopefully will be in satisfactory shape by NEXT summer anyway....Hey, it's only a year, right?

Last night I substituted turkey for the chicken. also, added a salad w/ ff dressing so I got my veggies in. For a snack I had sf/ff pudding w/ a banana and lite cool whip. It was so refreshing and did wonders for my sweet craving. My only real naughty was a small palm of jelly beans at work. On the good side.... I did 45 minutes of cardio last night!!!!!!!!! yippee! that's up 15 minutes!

Today:

2 diet toast w/ jam

turkey sandwich w/ baby carrots

chicken stir fry with pea pods & broccoli
1 c. brown rice.

big apple

Gotta get my waters in too! Have been doing pretty good at that!

check back later!

I will have you know that for the first time....I saw a yummy dessert....and it actually TURNED MY STOMACHE because I thought about how it would expand and adhere to my theighs! It has been years since I've had such a thought. I think this is a big step! I wonder if it will happen again?

As for lunch, I didn't completely finish my sandwhich and carrots. whatdaya know. Could I be sick or something? One thing is for sure I am SICK of the blubber hanging on me!!!!!!!!! I was walking outside yesterday and I caught a whiff of a "summer smell" (cut grass probably) It just took me back to those summer days when I was 20 and in shorts and little t-shirts.....where did they go and why in the world did I do this to myself? Why didn't I take responsiblity before the job was so big?

Oh well....keep on this track and hopefully I will find that peace again! HOPE!!!!

Hi ivoryrose,

Just wanted to respond to you about moving. I didn't want to take up the buddy thread for this.

You're right about looking at the move as a whole new beginning. My beginning starts now. It's just a little more than I expected at this time. Beginnings are scary though.

We'll do this together.

As far as the metabolife, I don't recommend the product. It contains that Fen-Fen ingrediant that can be bad for the heart. I know someone who used it. She lost weight the first month, then plateaued. She found her heart racing sometimes too.

I am so grateful to have you as a diet buddy. Thanks for all your support.

thinkspring

Hey spring! Thanks for stopping by! I agree with you...beginnings ARE scary. I think it has something to do with the fact that in order for us to begin something...we have GIVE UP something old that we are comfortable with. Even if the old thing isn't as good....we still know it and understand what it's about. Does that make any sense? Maybe that's just silly. I am so happy we can do this together though! I really believe that we will finally do this....we will really acheive our goal because we have support! And, if you are like me at all, then we will need extra support through this change so we don't let the stress and excitement get to us and make us EAT! ugh!!!!!! I have no idea why I do that....afterall, those other things can only be HELPED by getting healthy, NOT by resorting to our old habits!!!!! Silly me. Hang in there buddy and some day maybe we will be the hotties sitting at the ballpark that the camera guys focus on between innings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :laugh:

Thanks for the tip on the metabolife! My blood pressure is really good, but I am trying to get my heartrate down, so I definitly don't want to do anything to make it go faster!

Talk later! Happy exercising tonight!!!!!!!!

I know this is long, but for your birthday, I wanted to share one of my favorite inspirational stories.

Author Unknown
A water-bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master’s house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water-bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you." "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts." The pot said.

The water-bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the Pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pots side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Each of us has our own unique flaws. We’re all cracked pots. Don't be afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge them, and you too can be the cause of beauty. Know that in our weakness we find our strength.

:spring:

Spring, that is a beautiful story! I had never thought of things that way. I highlighted it and I'm printing it off to hang up....just to remind me! :) That was a great birthday present -- thanks a million! I hope you are having a happy day too.....picture it... we aren't really at work today....we aren't doing any chores...we are sitting out on a viranda (I don't have one...but it's my story so I'm inventing on) with a nice cool margurita getting a manicure from some french lady who happens to be giving us a french manicure. Our massages and hairstyles are scheduled for later, of course! :laugh:

Ok, back to reality. Food today:

1 c. oat flake cereal w/ 1/2 c. soy milk

chicken breast and broccli stirfry, less the sauce.

dinner: scary...going out...will update later.

Exercise. My birthday present to myself is that I am knocking off an hour early, and I'm going to take a nice slow stroll BY MYSELF in waterfront park and just let the sunshine soak in before everybody comes over and stuff starts hopping! Happy b-day to me!

later alligator!

I have started using an actual real life written journal! I love it! I have found that having the thing with me all the time means I can't cheat and I don't FORGET those little bites here and there. Plus, it's really pretty so I like going back to visit it. :laugh:

I have found new inspiration. I talked to a friend the other day who had 2 babies in 2 years and she has just lost over 20 pounds! It was so inspiring. And, the weather has been beautiful!!! It reminds me so much of the time of year before my wedding when I felt so alive and everything was so beautiful. It was all about anticipation and excitement and new beginnings....it SMELLS just like that summer outside now! Ah, yes....no food can compare to that! :D

Better get to exercising! Gotta melt off that butter butt so I can see the new mega-me!

Iv

Me again....things are going great with the written journal. I really like having it with me. We are doing a new challenge with my buddy group and it has me totally psyched! \

I think I have found about myself, that there is a pattern that I must break. First, once I am doing well, I tend to rest on my laurels and back off of perfection, thereby self destructing my progress. I don't know if this is laziness or some sort of deep rooted psychological thingy causing me to avoid success or thinness or something. Also, when I am most happy I am least concerned about my appearance and I don't pay attention. Finally, when something stressful is coming up, I have a weird contradiction....I both really really want to lose quick to feel more confident when I go into new situation and I also want to avoid doing the things I need to do that because I am stressed out! (e.g., take time to exercise and eat right). Maybe the whole problem really is BAD HABITS! Whatever it is...this process is really en-LIGHT-ening! Hopefully in more ways than one!

THINK: cute sundresses, great sandles, summer days, looking great.....

you seem like your doing really good Ivory!! Keep going and you'll get there!!:o