My bathroom mirror shows my face bigger than regular mirrors, and when I only look into my bathroom mirror, I think I'm still fat, even though I know I'm not. I have to remind myself that I'm not fat.

Does this or is this happening to you? Are you seeing yourself as you truely are?

John, Mirrors are different. When I was on vacation at my sister's, she had a full length mirror that made me look thin. and ya know what?.... I tried all the harder to stay on plan because of that mirror, because it showed me what I could look like.

On the other hand, the mirror in my exercise room is just the opposite, and makes me feel awful. I see it everyday, and I'm seriously considering moving it, or exchanging it. I'm sick of passing it and having it tell me I look bad.

A true body image of one self??? Heck, mine changes from morning to night.

What we see in the mirror is rarely what we actually look like. Don’t believe that? It is true. The image is made up of our belief system, what we believe we will see, and what we believe we look like. For instance if you wake up and it’s a “fat day” you will see yourself fatter than on a day you wake up feeling good even though you are at the exact same weight. It also is dependant on your mood and feelings about yourseld. On a “successful” day where you accomplished something you will see yourself more flattering than if you feel incompetent or guilty about something. Not only do we see ourselves as larger than we really are, we see others as smaller than they really are.

Check out what Jefferey Wilbert, Ph.D and author of Fattitudes: Beat Self-Defeat and Win Your War with Weight, has to say about the reality of the image in the mirror.

“A mirror is flat plane that reflects light. When we stand in front of one, physics tells us the mirror shoots the shadows, shapes and hues directly back to us (the angle of incidence equals the angle of reflection, if I recall correctly), which produces retinal stimulation that sends a signal to our brain where the image is reconstructed and registered somewhere in the occipital lobe of our cerebral cortex. Sounds very scientific, doesn't it? Oh, if only it were so simple.

What we see in the mirror is far from an objective impression of how the light is reflected off the contours of our body. Rather, it is an interpretation of a visual stimulus, a subjective appraisal that is greatly influenced by our emotional state, our preconceived notions and our self-defeating fattitudes. Depending on what we're feeling, the image we see in the mirror can change substantially from one moment to the next. We've all looked at ourselves one day, then looked again the next and swore we'd gained 20 pounds. Right? You know it's a physical impossibility, but there it is, right in front of you -- indisputable evidence that you're a miserable slob of a human being. What's changed is not your weight, nor is it the outline of your body; what's really changed is something internal.

What you see in the mirror is not a reflection of your body as much as it is a reflection of your body image. What's in the mirror is your self-esteem. It's your current mood state. It's your stress load.

See if you can change what's in the mirror by changing what's in your head.”

So anytime you see yourself ask your self, what am I really feeling? What is really bothering me? And remember, that the image you see is made up of your belief system and fattitudes. If the image is distorted then walk away and say to yourself that you know it is and you look great!:ex:

i have a distorted body image without a doubt. when i see photos of myself now i think is that really me? the person i see there isnt the person that i see everyday in my head.
in a lot of ways i still feel that i am physically the same person i was 50 pounds heavier..it is about your belief in what you look like, i am working everyday on liking who i see in the mirror and really seeing that person instead of the negative self doubt talking.
hugs bell :)

Well I got a nice surprise this weekend. Even though I've been feeling like this weight loss hasn't made any difference in my appearance, I was proven wrong many times this weekend. About 5 people who didn't know I was trying to lose weight told me I looked great or asked if I was losing weight. How's that for proof?

I guess I need to listen to my positive self instead of the one that keeps telling me that even though I've lost weight I'm still huge and I don't look any different.

Oh, if only looking in the mirror could tell the whole truth!

*hugs*
Losinit

Its funny but our image comes directly from our heads and not mirrors at all.. I know when I dieted before and I lost down to 128 I still thought I looked very fat.. Looking back at pictures I was really thin.. That is why we can't just work on our weightloss but we have to work on our mind as well... Building our self esteem. Sometimes I can look in the mirror before I leave for work and say hmmm you look a bit thinner today and then I can glance in the mirror at work and think, boy what was you thinking this morning! Its all in our heads and how we percieve ourselves.

Jeni

So much of what everyone here has said is sooo very true. Inmy mind I have a picture of what I look like, and it does depend on the day.

Its funny but back when I was heavy and lying to myself about my weight I had no mirrors in my house at all, and if you had asked my what I looked like my minds view was a lot skinner than realality. I used to see pictures of myself and think something was wrong with the cammara.

Now that lost some of my weight I bought myself a mirror, but it seems now I find myself fighting not to see myself as fat. If I could just get mind on the same page with my body.........

I think my body image is directly linked to how I'm feeling that day. Like this past week for me has been one big "fat" day. I just feel gross. I go through this once a month (girls, you know what I'm talking about) and though it sucks, it reminds me over and over again that this too shall pass. I think of my body image as a work in progress. I slip up and see myself as ugly, but then I look in my own eyes and see just how beautiful my soul is. That's the true measure of beautiful. I have never let anyone tell me different. :rose:

Most of the time I think that I am thinner than I actually am. I think it has something to do with my eyeglass presciption...no kidding. When I got my new contacts and put them in it was like I instantly gained 35+ pounds! Wish I could still wear them...but glasses feel better...so I'm stuck thinking I'm thinner than I am.

Decided that the only accurate way for me to see myself as I am is by looking at current photos and by weighing myself. If I don't do this regularly I slip back into thinking I'm thin and start to eat a lot.

I know...I'm weird.

cactus.8-|

I find that I very rarely see the entire "me" in a mirror. I don't know whether I do this on purpose or what but I always focus on parts. Like when I'm putting on makeup, I'm only looking at my eyes, or my cheeks or my lips. When I'm getting dressed, I only look at my top, or my bottom or my feet. It's always a shock when I catch a glimpse of the entire "me" ... and it's always an accident ... like when I'm walking past a window or something. How weird is that?

Mirrors, well, mirrors aren't as hard to deal with as some people, then my mirror becomes an issue for me. :c( Take my mother inlaw 8-| (won't someone take her allready?), seriously, she is the best mom in the world, but her downside is so bad! :(

She really knows how to make people feel bad no matter how good they look or how well they are dressed. If she is having a bad day then everyone has a bad day and for me it winds up that I project this negative attitude on myself for days after. She is very old and a little senile, so I try not to get too upset with her.

And so then after a bad visit with this lady, I have come home feeling a lot less happy about myself than I did before I seen her and then I don't like what I see in the mirror. Something for me to put into perspective to be sure.

Good to know that I am not the only one w/ a distorted body image! :) Seriously though, everyone should check out the june issue of Marie Claire magazine, they have 5 women look at 5 different pictures of her own body (they use technology to slim down one, and add weight to 3 of the pictures, one is the real body) and none of the women could pick out the right picture of their own body! I was amazed! Every woman picked a picture that was heavier than her real body. it was really interesting, just thought some of you would want to check it out.

This is so true, I can remember right before I got pregnant with my daughter I had lost weight, and even though everyone kept telling me I wasn't "fat" any more I didn't beleive it! Oh how i long for that weight again. I just wish I would have enjoyed that time- I am always complaining that I don't know what it feels like to be a slim woman and its because I no matter how much I weigh I will never see myself as I truly am!!

Body image is tough. I have bounced back and forth many times, and I never realized I lost anything until after I had gained it back. This time I have it figured out. I've been taking pictures every week. Looking at myself every day makes it hard to see the difference, but comparing pictures over the weeks is easier. Eventually I'll have enough pictures to make one of those little flip books so I can watch myself shrink!!

Am I the only person who doesn't see themselves as smaller than they really are? When I see pictures I freak out because I see myself for what I really am and it makes me want to burst into tears! :c(

So basically, VERY RARELY will I allow a picture of me to be taken and if someone snaps a pic without asking, I get downright belligerent...yes! I don't even have a picture of myself with my two beautiful daughters and I know someday I will regret that. The ONLY picture of my husband and I together is my wedding photos and very few of those hospital w/the new baby pix...sad, very sad.

Oh Yes, I am struggling with this same thing John, I have lost quite a bit of weight and I tell everyone I am all confused as to what I really look like. I am now in a size 12 pants and a medium shirt but evertime I go to shop I go get the biggest thing to try on because I am convinced that I am big.

For some reason it doesn't registar in my head that I have lost this weight. Mentally I still feel very big. I thought when I lost the weight I would feel wonderfull....
Jessie

I've been sitting here for years thinking I'm must be some kind of super freak, because not only am I the fat girl, but when I think of myself - or even see myself in the mirror, I never look that fat....and then someone will get pictures developed. I swear, every time I see a picture of myself I want to vomit. I never imagine myself with the extra chin...or the body twice as wide as everyone else's...and when I am forced to face that, I think I must be the only woman in the universe that sees herself as smaller than she is. It's really comforting to know that there are others who have noticed this same thing....


thanks!

morgayne

I think it is great that you see yourself smaller than you are. It means that you likely have higher confidence than some of us, and you are more comfortable with yourself. When I was small (before I got married), I still saw myself as fat. It was a horrible feeling. I always focused on the outside. I would give anything to be able to look in the mirror and look past my flaws. I know I have true beauty in here somewhere, but I can't see it. It gives me hope to know that it is possible to look past these things and see ourselves for who we are, not how much we weigh.

My main goal is not to lose weight. It is to be comfortable in my body, to see myself as who I am, not what I look like. You are my inspiration. :flower:

Ugh, I hate pictures! I think I'm just not very photogenic. I will agree some of my friends aren't photogenic either. Only a lucky few turn out great in pictures. Maybe I can convince myself some are good if I get professional ones done. With mirrors sometimes I can see myself looking good, other times I can't. Plus, I swear some mirrors are more flattering than others. Maybe it's the positioning and the lighting. However, no cameras are flattering!

One funny recent mirror story: A mirrored elevator I use a lot has two sections, the mirrored door and the mirrored part with the buttons. I swear, in front of the buttons I'm wide as a cow but in front of the door I look good! All I have to do to lose 20 lbs is step one foot to the left or right :ha: Of course, I can also give myself a giant nose if I stand in front of a dent in the door, just like a fun house!

sugarfiend

Speaking of pictures, we can all look good in pictures no matter what our size, we just have to take care in who is the picture taker. I have had some great pictures taken of me when I am at my highest weight, and some terrible ones taken when I was slimmer. So ladies, and gents, don't blame yourself, blame the photographer!

Katt- I know how you feel, I often imagine myself as thinner than I really am. Last Easter, my husband snapped a pic of my two daughters and I, and when I got the picture back, I hated seeing how fat my face looked! I still saw myself as looking how I did when I had lost weight before (a year and a half ago) and then I gained 20 lbs back. Well needless to say this was a wake up call, and that made me start losing again. At Curves the other day my friend who works there said, Julie, you are getting skinny! YEA! :D So I should have my dh take a picture of me soon so that I can actually see the difference because I can't by just looking in my mirror! Katt, I would encourage you to have your picture taken with your little girls. In the future they will remember you as Mommy who loves them and not care how much you weighed at the time.

WOW when I came across this thread I knew I had to post something here. I have lost all my weight and yet I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I don't know of one person that wouldn't say I look good and I have guys looking at me all the time some even asking me out but no matter what I still see me as fat. Plus I not only look fat but look old but how does one go about getting past all that is something I am trying to find the anwers to. I have tried telling myself how good I look every day but it doesn't work. This self image comes from years of being told I was ugly as a kid and having many failed relationships. If anyone out there know of any good books on self help with the body image I sure would like to hear of them so I can find a way to feel better about myself.

Mirrors...they're EVIL IMO! Back at 170, I would look into a mirror and still see the face of 285# looking back at me. It took a VERY long time to quiet the beast within. Now, after gaining 30ish pounds, the beast is screaming again. My DH is always reminding me about body image, but the more I chase my wasteline (up), the harder it is to listen to him. It is an ongoing battle...some days are better than others, but if I didn't have to make sure my face is on straight and my hair is in place, I wouldnt have one in my house....period! :laugh:

I have such a hard time with mirrors that I only order clothes from catalogues so that I can try them on in the 'muted' lighting in my home instead of the flourescent lights in dept. stores (why in the world do they set their lighting like that anyway?).

When I was anorexic (more than 20 years ago) I used to look in the mirror and see myself as fatter than I was, however, I don't think that my body image is distorted anymore; I'm just too darn fat and I SEE that clearly in the mirror! But like Cactus, I'm near-sighted so when I look in the mirror I make sure not to have my glasses on (I only need them for driving/movies - not all of the time) and it keeps everything a little fuzzier and therefore more palitable.

Who was it that said they think of themselves as thinner than they are? I sort of relate to that at times when I'm tooling around town feeling great and then a catch my reflection somewhere and my :x just drops: "Oh, yeah, I'm chubby right now...":c(

Anyone see the movie 'Blackhawk down' ? The struggles of the people in Mogadishu seemed to overshadow my self indulgent concerns and truly blessed life. Certainly I need to lose weight, but I also wonder what people in third world countries would think of my 'problem with a big bottom' . I am certain they would trade me problems any day.

I had to respond to this thread because I can really relate to some of the comments.

Cactus, it's not your imagination about your eyeglasses, especially if you have astigmitism. I look thinner with my glasses on, then when I wear my contacts..YIKES!! To get the real deal, I make sure I look at myself in the mirror with my contacts. If I don't I'm only deceiving myself.

I'm one of those when I went on Weight Watchers the first time around, thought I looked skinnier than I was. At the time, I couldn't explain it and I've never thought of myself as someone with high self esteem, in fact quite the opposite.

I was buying bigger clothes, but I still didn't see the fat person I was in the mirror...until...I saw some photos of myself. They sure don't lie! Reality hit me smack in the face. I wanted to cry.

But as I figured out later, I knew somewhere in my conscious that I was overweight. I didn't want to admit it and so I didn't see it when I looked in the mirror. If I faced the reality, then I would have to do something about it. I just didn't want to deal with it. Talk about lying to yourself!