I was reading a book on body image today and it was discussing the links between self-image (identity), self-worth (self-esteem), and body image and how they interconnect. And it made me realize once again how true that is. If one of those things is lost or distorted it automatically runs into the others.

Since I was 13 or 14 I did not have any of those three, but in the last 2 years, (since I have gotton out of abusive self-esteem destroying realtionships) I have slowly been able to build up an identity and reltively good self-esteem and hopefully will soon accomplish a healthy body image.

In my discovery of who I was, I realized I wanted to help others with those types of problems and am taking the nessecary steps to get there (in school for psychology). I care a great deal about people and often get frusterated with myself becausse I can't wave a magic wand over them and make all the
hurt go away. I feel like if I could just say the right thing or do the right thing then I could unlock the door to all their insecurities and help them learn to love and appreciate themselves.

While my intentions are always good, I realize I get carried away in my excitement to help as many as people as quickly as I possible can. I am sure this is due to lack of experience on my part and with time I will hone these skills. Yet it is very discouraging when people misunderstand or misinterpret and never take the time to see or get to know the real you.

But anyway, sorry I babbled on, just needed to talk I guess. It feels good to know I can always come here where I have good friends. Thanks to everyone who has supported me.

Love and Hugs

How true... I have the same feeling (and I know others do too). I want to help everyone and it was a shock when I could not. I will always to help but I now know how to accept it, if it doesn't happen.

Its the "nurturer" in some of us. You take the world on your shoulders and think you can solve all the problems. It is hard when you do realise that you can't wave that wand and save everyone. Be a good listener. Take in what people have to say.Sometimes it helps more to be there and to really "hear" people. :x

I've been looking for a book like that. I know that my mother's poor self image has affected both myself and my sister and even though I know a book wont fix all, maybe it will help me understand myself a little better (at the very least). What's the book called?

The book is actually a an eating disorder recovery book, it is the first chapter that covers the links between identity, self-esttem, and body image. The book itself is called WHEN FOOD'S A FOE by Nancy J. Kolodny.

There are many other books that may help that do not have to do with eating disorders, (i read ED recovery books because of my field). The best that I know of is WHAT DO YOU SEE WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR, by Thomas F. Cash, thought it is hard to find because it is out of print. But there are many others.

Here are 2 that should be available that are very, very good:

LOVE YOUR LOOKS: HOW TO STOP CRITICIZING AND START APPRECIATING YOUR APPEARANCE, by Carolyn Hillman, C.S.W.

BODYLOVE: LEARNING TO LIKE OUR LOOKS AND OURSELVES - a practical guide for women, by Rita Freedman, Ph.D.

Hope that helps,
luv: Thinderella

I might just have to take my walk down to the mall and find it in the book superstore I have at my fingertips there. Thank you. Have a great day....or weekend. (take your pick :D )