Charity is the name I picked because it is who I would best like to be. I would like to be kind and full of hope and faith.

One of the reasons I came to diettalk was to lose weight but another reason was to change how I feel about me. I don't see myself as beautiful on the inside or the outside. And I believe that to feel better we need to work on both.

I'm 180 pounds and 5'4" tall. I hope to lose around 40-45 pounds. I haven't really selected a diet or an exercise plan. But I've been thinking a lot about the three square meals a day plan. Not eating in between meals. Also, I've been thinking about moderate exercise in shorter sessions. Maybe 15 minutes on the treadmill in the mornings and 15 at night.

My biggest issue is in learning to take care of myself.....physically, mentally, emotional, spiritually. To do those things for me that will enable me to better care for my family.


"Charity Never Faileth"

Hi Charity.. sounds great so far.. You are worth it... I use my treadmill in the mornings and boy do I feel better during the day. I also, if I was bad, exercise at night.

You can do it!!!!!

Gee John, I'm at your goal weight.:D Thanks for the encouragement.


I watched Oprah this afternoon because Dr. Phil was talking about weightloss. And I pretty much agreed with everything he said.

I realize that my goals need to be more specific and my actions need to be more inline with my goals.

I've got a lot of thinking and planning to do.

One thing that Dr. Phil talked about was making your kitchen safe. And to be honest (this is not an excuse, but reality) my husband will not give up his daily treats. We have to have chocolate at all times in the house. My husband feels that I should be able to do this weightloss thing on my own without him having to help or give up anything.

I don't really have a set plan and it sure did show today. I ate a snickers bar and a piece of apple pie for a snack. I am definitely not going to see a drop on the scale tomorrow morning.

I am feeling more optimistic about things right now. I'm going to work on my weightloss strategy tonight and hopefully post it tomorrow.

It's hard for me to do the visualization exercise that Dr. Phil spoke about. I can see and feel myself as thin...like when I was 18, but I wasn't happy at that time. So I try and move toward visualizing myself now...in my late thirties....as thin and it's very difficult to do.

I need to work on loving myself and seeing myself as worth the effort.

"Charity Never Faileth"

Hi Charity,
It's true ,visualizing sounds easy but it's not.I can visualize myself as thin when I'm having a good day or moment but when I'm not it's hopeless. Good luck with it and I hope you suceed!:)

Avi:rose:

Charity, here are some ideas that might help

Physically: exactly what you are doing, balance meals and 15 - 30 minutes of exercise

Mentally: 15 minutes (atleast) of complete alone time. Write in a journal, listen to music, or just lay down and breathe slowly without thinking of anyone or anything - whatever relaxes and refreshes you

Emotionally: love yourself, only then can you truly love others, make a list of all the qualities and characteristics that you have that you would admire in someone else, add to the list often

Spiritually: Read a psalm (or other passage of scripture or a little devotional) and spend 5 minutes in prayer

Hope it helps! I've spent the last 2+ years discovering who i was and realizing that i actually liked myself. It's a journey worth traveling.

Hi Charity, I hope everything is getting better. I think the first thing you should ask yourself, is why aren't you happy? Work, weight, husband, family, kids? Be honest with yourself, it may hurt, but it is the best thing you can do. Then look at how to change it. If you can't switch jobs, maybe you can make the one you have a little better. Maybe you could find someone who is more encouraging than your husband. I find I enjoy walking now with a plan. I want to walk to South Dakota, because it is so beautiful there. I keep track of the miles I have walked and when I reach the equivalent, I can say I walked there. Right now I am barely out of my city limits, but I will get there. I hope things work out. Email me anytime if you want to talk. Nora:D

Hey Charity! You are pretty much my exact weight and height so I took some interest in your post.

It's very hard to begin a weightloss program but the first thing you need to do is open up to your husband. Tell him you really need his help and support to be successful and that if he wants to have snacks he should only bring home what he is going to eat and try not to eat them in front of you. If you are open and honest (ok maybe a little forceful if necessary) with him he should realize that he impacts you in a very profound way.

But in reality, snacking is not the source of the problem. Healthy snacks are really good for keeping your meal portions down.

Maybe you need to examine why you are eating the unhealthy snacks. I was doing it because I didn't think I could ever lose any weight so what was the point. It took gaining 30 pounds for me to realize how silly and self defeating it was.

Are you eating out of habit or because you are lonely. Drop by diettalk on the way to the pantry. You'll get company and encouragement.

I wish you well in your endevour. And in getting the motivation and strength you need. We all have it in us. You just need to believe in yourself.