Okay I am back attempting to keep another journal, what is different this time I ask myself. Well, the knowledge that all of you here on DT have shared with me in your journals has helped me to realize what makes a person a success in this oh so fun battle of the bulge. 8-| One thing that is seems to be helping everyone is the relationships they create with one another here on the forum.

I guess that I have not felt that I deserved support from anyone here because I myself am not very good at supporting people. I know, I know, I am not trying to get pity, sympathy or anything from anyone. I am just being honest, in all areas of my life I don't feel like I measure up to others. I am not a good enough friend, sister, daughter, wife, or diettalk member. I believe this is one of my core issues, as Dr. Phil would say, that keeps me from truly treating my body the way it deserves to be treated. With healthy foods, regular excercise, pampering and unconditonal love.

With that said, I will move on to why I would think something like this when in all other ways I feel that I am a confident person. I am smart, not bad looking, believe that I can achieve my dreams if I am willing to work for them. So why would I lack so much confidence in being a good person for others. Okay, for all you out there who preach about not playing the role of the victim, please do not take this the wrong way, because I agree being the victim is no way to live your life, but I believe your past is what forms you into the person that you are in your present. If there are things you don't like about that present you really need to look back into your past and see what has brought you to where you are today. I do not think you should live in your past just take from it what you need to understand your present situation. Well, this is what I have done and no wonder I have been carrying this image of me not being capable of being athletic. Growing up my dad always made comments about my two left feet, or about how Kor wouldn't be able to have done that hike we (my whole family) did today. These comments were always made about my inablility to do anything active because I was a klutz and lazy. Wow, it is unreal how much what your parents say affects you and molds you into the person you become. Know that I am aware of this though, I have stood up and told my parents how I feel about this, and you know what he said to me "It's not my fault you have two left feet" and then he laughs. I tell ya, no wonder I deal with serious situations by joking them away. Anyhoo, now that I am aware of this, I have been much more active and actually honestly believe that I am capable of playing any sport or running or whatever I decide to put my mind to. :D

Ahhhhh, I have a mouthful of words today, hey. Well, I guess I am a very sensitive person so comments such as my dad's have contributed to my athletic confidence, but I guess I sorta went off track there. My confidence in being a good person to others lacking is due to what friends told me growing up ( I am very sensitive ). People used to tell me that I couldn't get close to anyone, that I would never marry, I didn't know how to be a friend, etc. I believed every word of what these "friends" said to me. I always thought that I couldn't be good to my friends because I was unable to let down my walls...but then I met Phil and he has helped me realize that even if I ever was that person I am not anymore. I HAVE CHANGED! This is something I struggle with daily and have to remind myself that I am not the same person I was, but instead have become a very caring, nurturing woman who values her family and friends, and of course herself.:o

Also my fear of being judged by everyone here in the past has kept me from posting, but now I say to @#$% with what people think of me. I am who I am! I know there is very little judgement passed here anyways, so here I am, be gentle.:D

Well, that is all for now, but I look forward to reconnecting with everyone here and meeting new people. We will all reach our goals and I look forward to the journey on the way to success!

Blessed be,
Kori:rose:

Well, the following is from a PM I sent CJ, this sums up what I have learned from all of you here. :)

"I think, no I know, that I have discovered the two biggest changes I need to make 1) without a plan I am not going anywhere, I thought I could just watch what I eat and throw in a run, hike, bike or walk here or there, but if I want to achieve my goals, I have to make a plan and stick to it. 2) The plan that I make must incorporate small goals, that I am actually willing to change. Then one by one and month by month I will reach the level of fitness that I desire.

I read a really good article in Muscle and Fintess Hers about food journals and how important they are in a successful weight loss plan. The article also talks about how important it is to do this in stages. Start with a general food diary and as you adjust to the change become more detailed. All in baby steps, ay! Well, with all the knowledge that I have acquired through reading, especially people's journals, yours being one of them, I think I am finally ready to move forward and start my own journey of healthy living, instead of just following everyone else's."

I guess I thought that I could just get by with little effort, but the truth is for the results I desire, I am going to have to put in alot of effort. I actually tried to count calories and weigh all my food back before, but I realize now the big mistake then was to go from eating whatever, whenever to calorie counting and measuring all portions was a little to overwhelming for me. So now I am going to just start recording what I eat without restricting myself or anything for one week, then I can make one small change and go from there.

I bought a small book to fit in my purse that I can record everything I eat in and I also bought happy face stickers to put on good days! I also logged into fitday and set up an account and started logging my food. I am going to have to make a schedule for excercise tonight. That is all for now as I don't want to overwhelm myself once again.

Blessed be,
Kori:rose:

P.S. At the time of this writing I have a sore throat that is only soothed when I am eating, drinking or sucking on halls. Needless to say this is a tough day to monitor my normal food intake. So I am still going to record it in my paper journal, but my week will not start until my throat is feeling better. I HATE :c( summer colds!

Hello Kori. good for you for telling it like it is.
I agree the past is in the past but it does make us who we are today.
My past of an abusive marriage made me stronger today and more independent and i love myself so it was for the better in me.
i am re-married and i have 3 children and hubby has 1. i am 31 yrs old and on ww. i just finished 12th week today and lost 32.5 pounds so far and feel great. i beleive everyone needs a plan to stick too.
No one here is judgemntal either as we are all on the same road and same journey headed for the same destination. this site is great. hope to get to know you better. feel free to PM me anytime or visit my journal minnies day. take care.

:)First off, thanks so much Sandy for stopping by. I am pleased to meet you and will head on over to your journal to see what goes on in your life. Isn't it funny how human beings find the positive in the worst situations. I have a past filled with abuse, but believe it or not I would not trade my experiences for anything. They have made me the person I am today, who is someone who is able to stand up for what they believe in, as well as much more appreciative of the good life I now have. I don't think I would appreciate the little things as much if I had not gone through what has happened. Who knows though, maybe I would have?

Okay, so I have started the wheels in motion. I sat my big (I mean bootalicious) butt down and made up a lifestyle calendar for my fridge. I only made July's and goals for the first three weeks. I wanted to keep my goals to a minimum, so I don't become overwhelmed and quit. I am serious about this now and want to make attainable goals. To start I actually don't have any weight goals on there and didn't even think about it until now. Maybe it's better to focus on the changes instead of the weight to begin with so I don't become discouraged. Now to what the goals are...

1. Two vegetables a day.
2. Two fruits a day.
3. Cardio and weights twice in the first week.
4. Cardio and weights three times in the following weeks.
5. Swimming twice a week (I am taking lessons two nights a week for the month of July:D )

So those are my goals on my calendar and if each one is met I get a happy face for the day. If I meet the goals for the month I will get a french manicure.

I also made a little food journal that fits in my purse. The goal here to start is to record everything I eat, and of course the veggies and fruit carry over into the journal.

Once I have achieved these goals to start, which will be three weeks starting July 1, I will add more to the journalling, such as fitday. But until then I am only going to focus on the four goals; fruit, veggies, journal, and excercise.

I am a little:( worried about what the food journal is going to reveal, already today I have had some unpleasent surprises...I eat a lot of sugar. Either way I must be honest with myself so that I can really pinpoint my weaknesses and my weak times.

Well, with that said I will be starting this plan that I have finally taken the time to make on JULY 1! So wish me luck, as I know this is not going to be easy for me, but I do honestly believe that I have made much more obtainable goals this time.

Blessed be,
Kori

160--->150--->140--->130!:coach: BE THE NUMBER, RIGHT CJ!

Kori
you awesome CHICK you bet we are going to make things happen for ourselves. We deserve to be happy and we deserve to have our dreams come true. I am so glad you are starting up a journal and finding out what works for you in your life
CJ

Hello Kori~~ thanks for visitng my journal. your goals sound great. and in no time you will see all the success for the efforts.
you are being positve and i beleive tis all about positive attitude and frame of mind. if we say we will do it we will if you say i wont then you wont. i know you are on the right track. take care!

First off--thanks CJ and Minnie for stopping by! The support means more than you know. :o

Okay, so the first two days of my plan are pretty good, I had 2 fruits and 2 veggies on Monday, so I met my goal. Today, tuesday, I had 2 fruits, no veggie, and swam, so not perfect, but not bad. It really does not help that I don't really have any fresh produce in the house. Payday is Thursday, so I will be hitting the grocery store. I guess I didn't execute my plan with the best tools (no produce), so I will not beat myself up as I am doing good with what I have so far.

Either than that not much to say. Tired, late, sleepy:yawn:

Nite, nite!

Blessed be,
Kori

I-) I-) I-) I-)

Hi Kori,
I was reading your journal and sounds to me like your on the right path. I consider myself an expert dieter since I've done it all my life. The one thing this expert never did was have a realistic plan of action. This time I'm also leaving my expertise at the door. I'm here willing to learn from others. I'm to the point in my life where nothing I've done has worked, so I guess I'll try what someone else is doing that is working. So far so good.
You are right, you need to make small changes, gradually. Anything else would be overwhelming.
I don't think you realize how little it take to sopport each other. Just going into someone's journal and just saying hi is wonderful support. Even you posting right here in your journal has already helped me. It has given me food for thought and has made me think over my own plan. Don't under esteemate yourself.
Well enough of me being preachy. Sorry:o

I must be off now. Got to try to sleep.:wave:

Darlene :bfly:

Hello Kori i just wanted to stop by and say hello and wish you a happy 4th tommorow.:sam: