I think I must be a little opposite from a lot of people trying to lose weight. I look in the mirror and am pretty happy with what I see......until I see myself in a photograph and then it is devastating. Not only do I think I look like a blimp, but the other people in the pictures always seem to look like they do in real life, certainly not an ounce heavier than I perceive them to be. Does anyone else experience this? So now I wonder if I really look like the image in the pictures, or is my daily perception of my appearance more valid.......

I also look terrible in pictures. However, I have pictures of friends who I know look much better in real life (as well as some who always look great in pictures, hence the term photogenic). Part of the problem is that we scrutinize our own image, looking for that extra fat in the arms, shadow in the chin and what not, while we don't scrutinize the other people. So, be catty, scrutinize them as well and you'll see that if you go into the picture looking for the bad things, you'll find them. We're tough on ourselves that way! It's so easy to do that with a still image I guess, which is why with the mirror we're less likely to do so.

sugarfiend

Thanks for the input. All I can say is, at least I can find the motivation to workout in the pictures, everytime I see that exterior that looks alien to me.:ex:

OMG I am totally with ya on that one I don't think I look "that bad " until I saw a tape from my sister's camcorder I saw the backside of me and I was like who is that and when I get my pictures back the first thing I do is look for one of me to compare to an older one and see if there is any improvement just want to throw in my two cents so you know your not alone. Tic

You are not alone on this one. I horrify myself every time I look at a picture of myself. I do not understand how the woman in the mirror can be the woman in the picture.:c( The worst was a video taken while we were vacationing. It caused me to go on a diet the next day. I lost 62lbs. over that video and to this day cannot look at it. I have gained that back and then some and I can't get started on a diet even though I desperately need to BUT I will not look at that video again. It was so depressing and embarrassing. I felt so good too. Just had bought all these lovely clothes (size 26) and thought I looked good. I think that I must deny what I actually see in the mirror because it would be too hard living every day if I saw myself as I really am. Here's a poem I wrote years ago. I think it applies:
The Mirror

I looked into the mirror
And someone else looked back
I don't remember seeing her
Brown, blank eyes stared back.
Her hair it was fair
Her mouth turned down
This sad creature didn't care
That I was around.
I looked away as tears
filled her eyes
When I looked back
She started to cry.
I reached out to
to dry those tears and
met only with cool smooth glass.
In her eyes I saw my fears
And saw myself at last.

I know what you mean Crammagirl,

The mirror is my friend. I know I'm a big guy, but I look fine. Then I see a candid picture, and OMG! I'm HUGE!!!

Cameras add 10 pounds.

Of course I've always been critical of myself in pictures. Even old pictures, when I was thinner, I look at them now and look great, but at the time, I remember hating those pictures too!

Me, I'm trusting the mirror, and judging my fat loss on how my clothes fit.

Catlady, you made me cry with that poem, because I can see it so clearly in me :c( .
Crammagirl, I know where you are coming from. The worst picture I have is of me and my sisters/brother on a swing. My one sister is sooooooo tiny next to me (who looks like an elephant next to her).
I cannot look at that picture at all. :(

I have looked at pictures in the past and put them up: out of sight! Then years later, I have come across the offending photos and thought,"I looked good then! I wish I looked like that now!" Funny how that happens. But the worst was that vacation video. I will never look at that thing again. And now that I think about it, I really don't look in mirrors as often as I used to and I avoid anyone with a camera. I want one of those trick mirrors you hear about. The ones where you try on the dress and it looks great only to get home and wonder where in the heck you got that idea to begin with. The best time I ever had with a mirror was at the fair, in the fun house. Most of the mirrors in there made odd images but there was one that entranced me. I looked like me -only a size 6 me! Yeah, I liked that mirror:) Cat

When I went to Mexico this year, I made a rule to my friends. No shots of me in a bathing suit. About 38 tequilla later I was a little more lax and one or two got taken. When I was there I get like I looked pretty good, but in the pictures I can see that I look absolting revolting. Funny how that works. I lost 20 punds when I came back in March, but then gained 10 back this summer. :( I hate photos of me.

It's all terrible. I don't like photos of myself as a general rule, unless they are from the waist up (my upper half doesn't look as heavy to me as my lower half does). One exception to this was my wedding photos. I thought I looked great!

But then, just two weeks ago, I posted one of my wedding photos on another website forum I go to (all the people that post there were putting up their photos, and that was what I thought to be my best one). I had never posted a photo online before, I was too scared to. That day I just said, what the hell, it's a good picture! So I did it.

Not half a day later I go to the forum to check the new posts and some guy has posted right after my photo, "Damn BlueJae, you are LARGE!" I was so crushed and so angry! I bit back a little and told him how immature he was, but left it at that. A lot of the other forum people told me to ignore the guy, that all he does on the boards is look for new ways to annoy and hurt people. They all told me how beautiful the photo was. But all I could see were HIS words, and for the last two weeks any photo of myself I see (including the wedding ones I loved before) I see those words, and now my brain has even created a voice to go with them that I hear all the time.

I am so angry he took my one day of feeling beautiful away from me. I am trying so hard to beat his voice down and get my beautiful day back but it is proving to be so difficult.

BlueJae -> What a jerk! Just hearing about that makes me steamed! It's sad there are such products of the stupid body image we see on TV and people who have nothing better to do with their time. He was going to find a flaw in anything. Just remember that you are happily married while someone like him will probably never find a mate and has to compensate for his eternal lonliness by trolling online.

We always focus on the one bad comment though don't we. It's sad... and hard to stop.

sugarfiend

Yeah, Sugarfiend, he's a big old jerk, for sure. Look, Bluejae, people like him are usually pathetic and can only make themselves feel better by putting others down. Forget him and his childish, mean spirited comment. Hugs, Cat

Thanks you guys, I am working on it. It is just soooo hard. But I am sure you all have had similar experiences and know how hard it is.

Hugs, BlueJae

Hi BlueJae,

I just read your post about what that dork said about your "beautiful" day.

By allowing him to hurt you, you are granting him power over you. You don't want to ever do that. He can't hurt you if you don't allow it. You know (and I have no doubts at all) that you really were beautiful that day. And I'm quite sure that your dear hubby thought you were completely gorgeous. Isn't that so much more important than what some total stranger says? Someone that doesn't know the first thing about you and what kind of person you are.

There are all kinds of beauty in the world, but some never see any of it. That's because they never take the time or effort to look. They go thru life, never happy unless they are hurting someone else. The reason? Because they are so miserable themselves. That person that wanted to hurt you is living a negative life himself.

We have a chat scheduled tonight to discuss body image at 9 pm Eastern, if you would be interested. You are most welcome to join us. Of course, so is everyone else that are having problems with this area of their lives. It probably includes most of us......LOL.

Take care now, and take the power back by denying him what he tried to do to you. Have a good night.

Sandie :)

It is so nice to see this topic being talked about...

I thought i was the only one who walked around, day after day with this image of myself in my head...this image i saw in the mirror...always thinking i was smaller and prettier than i was...my mom made me a graduation scrapbook in may after i graduated from college...just before i started weight watchers (heavier than i had ever been in my life)...i looked at those pictures last night and all i could do was cry...

for the rest of my life, remembering that special day will be marred by looking at those pictures of someone who could be the state puffed marshmellow man - but certainly not me. i never looked like that! But it's true...i can't stand pictures cause the person staring back at me is never the person i imagine...or the person in the mirror...

i have a friend who's anorexic...we were talking about it one night, and she told me that her therapist made her do this little exercise where she'd close her eyes, and then position her hands in front of her body where she thought her hips were. Every time she did it, her hands would be about a foot wider on each side than her hips....

when i tried it, the were 6" narrower on each side...i never thought you could have a distorted body image on the other extreme...it's part of the reason i neglected to do anything about my weight for so long....

hmmm....musings...


morgayne

Oh my gosh I feel exactly the same way! I would always see myself and not recognize the person I was looking at! I always made excuses, like the camera was at an odd angle, or the outfit I was wearing just made me look that way. It is so hard for me to admit that I look like the person in thoses pictures. How do you deal with it?

I really feel this post! I think I've become very accustomed to seeing myself a certain way in the mirror. As soon as I stand in front of it, I automatically position my body to be at the most flattering angle, posture. I know exactly where all my "flaws" are and I know how to look at myself to minimize them. And then I feel really pretty and small. But then I'll see pictures of myself and be shocked at the way I look. The worst part is though that all my friends always say that I look really good in pictures and that I'm so photogenic. Which freaks me out because if I think I look horrible in pictures and everyone thinks I look good, then how bad must I look in real life (in comparison to my distored mirror image)? Ah, drama.

And BlueJae, this is a little old, but that guy is like all those people who say horrible things on the internet because they can be anonymous and so they like the shock without the responsibility of owning up to their actions. He is a JERK and a WIMP, and don't listen to his garbage.

well first I wanna say catlady , your poem was sooo touching, I really thought it was great, and I totally relate. we so connected on this one. congrats to you talent at putting in words what I want to say!! Bluejae you do not even need to be told how stupid childish rediculous retarded that guy was to post that!! I have no doubt no matter what size you were wearing as a bride you looked beautiful! By golly when you get close to your goal, or just when you feel you want to take a dozen pictures at a boutique trying on wedding dresses , then post them.. I for one will brag on you. forget the loser , they are everywhere. Now let me say I also hate pictures of me,, the only one I dont mind seeing...are the ones where I am SANTA for my family. YEP always SANTA never the ELF. but its changing ,,,,.

Oh my, it's so good to know I am not alone. I think sometimes when I see myself in the mirror, it's almost like I see what I want to see. Then I get a picture of myself and I am shocked and disgusted by what I see!

I have a 5 month old and I feel all icky when someone is taking a picture of him because I don't want to be in the picture. Sometimes you will just see my gut or arms or something and yuck....

I know, I'm working on my self image. Trying really hard. I just really don't like myself in pictures.

Heather

Wow! What a great topic. BlueJay, I totally understand how you feel. People can really hurt. I know that you are married and so am I. Our spouses love us the way we are. That is wonderful but, I think that everyone looks to have someone other than a spouse to say we are beautiful. When my hubby says that I am beautiful I am yeah, right, you have to say that because you are my husband. If some other person said that I was beautiful I would be very flattered. They don't have to say it to me. They did it because they mean it. We all want to feel attractive to others....it boosts our ego.

As far as the pictures go.... :rofl:
I just did the same thing. I reached 225 and someone snapped a pic of me and gave it to me. My initial reaction to the pic was wow, I am a tub o lard. That is when I started dieting and sticking to it. What makes me laugh the most (keeping in mind that 12 years ago I got married and weighed 107) I have the fat girl pic my friend gave me from when I was 225 as well as 2 pics of me, one at 107 and the other at 130 taped to my computer to remind me of what I have lost and what I will become. Even funnier, the pic of me at 130....back then I thought I was fat....If only to be that fat now.