I'm just looking for a little guidance here is all. I've been 140 pounds most of my life, (I'm 37) but in the past two years I've been steadily gaining weight and working out less and less to none. I've spent most of this time in a pretty nasty depression and not being in shape wasn't a big priority. Only now I feel like I've just woken up and discovered I can barely move without jiggling like a Santa Claus laughing, and it feels awful. I've been cutting down on my fat intake and TRYING to get more exercise, but I'm having trouble getting motivated and fear I could never lose this much weight. My mother has been obese my whole life (over 300 lbs) and I fear I have no course of action and it's all out of my control. I don't have kids and I'm not married, but I live in LA, the beach no less, and body image is a real big deal here.

Anybody got any ideas?

Well you know the deal. low fat food, low cal. plenty of fruits an veggies, an most! importantly exercise. good luck :D

First of all welcome to DT. I hope that you like here and that you find some good support here. I have to agree with Gwendolyn(My mom, moms are always right) Get lots of exercise and eat more fruits and vegies. You can do it. Just think positive and good things will happen!

Hi SkinniMe,
I can really understand how you feel. Pre-weight problem, my steady weight was always between about 135 and 140. I put on weight after both my children but I think my periods of depression are what have caused the biggest problem. I am now about 70 pounds above where I want to be.

I haven't got the solution to this, but I'm working on it. Although I haven't really managed to lose much, if any, of the weight yet, I have maintained it. I've stopped the weight from climbing and that's a start.

I find that coming here regularly - whether to read or to post - helps a lot. It stops you from feeling quite so alone with this. I'm also currently considering whether to join Weightwatchers - I think I might need the discipline of actually joining something.

Anyway, I don't know whether this helps at all. Keep coming back to DT - people here will support you and vice versa.

Good luck and welcome.

Michelle
xx

Skinnime you made the first right step by coming to us for help. Group support is a good step in wanting help to lose weight. I could never have done it without the group. They are so loving caring and supportive. I've lost 62 pounds over the course of last year and have kept it off. I'm working on the last few. My motivation is back and I know I will succeed before summer arrives.

I would suggest that you don't go cold turkey to begin a diet.

Transitioning to a healther diet over a couple of weeks time so your body doesn't start craving (that has helped me). Its like when you want to quit smoking. It helps to cut down over time, than to just quit outright.

This way your body won't go into shock from all the good veggies/fruits you will give it.. :) :)

Hi, It sounds like you know exactly what you need to do! Don't sell yourself short! I see you're trying to exercise again and you're watching your fat intake...WHAT A GREAT START! You also state that you are having a hard time getting motivated towards exercise again, do you remember what motivated you before? It sounds like you were on a pretty regular routine at one time, so there must have been something that kept you going? Maybe you need to try something new? Try entering a fitness challenge such as the Bill Phillips Body for Life 2001 Challenge, or find a supportive workout buddy. The point is that only YOU know what motivates you...so keep trying things until something gives you that spark that makes you want to keep going!
As far as your mother's history of obesity, don't use that as an excuse or "crutch" to continue on your current path. You were able to maintain a healthy weight of 140 pounds until your bout with depression hit and your life took a different course, therefore you developed bad habits like discontinuing your exercise routine and eating foods that weren't healthy. Bad habits aren't inherited...they are "learned" behavior...which means they can be "unlearned"! So start replacing the bad habits you've developed with good habits and you'll be in control once again! Good luck!!! You can and WILL do it!!!

Well, first of all, I am just completely overwhelmed with how amazingly SUPPORTIVE and UNALONE i feel this morning, coming into work and reading all these inspiring messages from you amazing people. Suddenly I don't feel like the freakiest person in a company of lunchtime runners and tennis enthusiasts. (You guys have no idea. These people just never STOP! In one way it's inspiring and motivating, in another, it just reminds me of how far I am from my previous atheletic body.) I mean, I was a lifeguard in high school, I swam in college, I danced did aerobics. Even when I was in shape I thought I was fat.

But here's a practical question. Last night I was going to go out for the first time in a long time to a bar for Kareoke (don't ask me why) and realized I had nothing to wear. I seem to be extremely unwilling to buy new "fat" clothes and extremely depressed at all my clothes that I can't fit anymore. So, as Lucy would say "I haven't a thing to wear." I'm not at the mu mu stage yet or anything, but do you guys seem to think that buying clothes that fit is a form of giving into the bigger body? That is my fear, that if I invest in clothes that fit, I just will be this big forever.

Thoughts?

I'm a little concerned that you thought you were fat when you were fit and healthy. How thin would you have to be to not think of yourself as being "fat"?

As far as buying yourself bigger clothes for fear of accepting your current weight...you cannot put your life on hold until you've reached your weight loss goals. Start living life to the fullest now! Get yourself something that fits and you feel comfortable in. So what if you can only wear it for a short time. As soon as the outfit is too big for you, get rid of it so it won't be there for you to "creep" back in to.
Keep focused and have a great day!

Changeyourlife,

Actually, I think alot of that body image problem has to do with my mother's obsesity, my father's lack of compassion about it, and my child abuse history (i.e. feeling safer being "layered", WEIGHTED down, and then there's always, don't look attractive so they won't hurt you). So as you can imagine there are some very complex issues that are deeply rooted attached to my current condition. Not the least of which, feeling for most of my life that my self esteem and identity were almost ENTIRELY wrapped up in my sexual attractiveness, even though I was afraid of that attractiveness. Alot of these early childhood issues relate to the depression i know. And I am receiving treatment and have been in therapy for 9 years for the child abuse. But...if anything that makes me more frustrated now because my body is behaving more and more as if it doesn't belong to me at all. On top of all of this, is the attachment to alcohol during the depression. I KNOW KNOW KNOW it's bad, but, then again, self abuse is an obvious offshoot of depression. So, just so everyone knows...sometimes the problem is much deeper and more complicated than just eating too much and not exercising. Sometimes it feels like it goes so deep, you can't even see the bottom.

Ahh Skinni I feel for you! But, you're right! Your issues go WAY beyond poor diet and lack of exercise. Have you considered contacting someone familiar with eating disorders? And don't be embarrassed about it, I suffer from Binge Eating Disorder myself. It's just something that's part of my life...and I learned a long time ago that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you choose to deal with it. So I bit the bullet and got help. Things are 1000 times better now let me tell you!
God Bless!

Hi SkinniMe,
I just read this post that you made yesterday and all the responses and I couldn't believe how much we have in common.

I'm 41 years old, married to a much older man, but have no kids. I've suffered from depression for who knows how long. I've been hospitalized twice for it. My Mom too is obese, over 300 lbs. And my Dad has a very poor attitude with her about it. I was sexually abused most of my childhood. Went through about 6 years of counseling. As a reslult of the abuse I had no self-esteem, and even though I'm better now I have to work constantly on this one thing. I also had identy problems and felt unconected to my body. The list goes on....

Would you like to have a new e-mail pal? I'm from Michigan, you can read my profile to learn a little more about me. If you would like to do this here is my e-mail address:
cindy_waldecker@hotmail.com

Welcome to DT and I wish you great success in reaching your weight loss goals. You can do this. I know it's a long hard road, but you can do it just one day, one pound at a time. Keep coming here, it helps a whole lot!!

(((HUGS)))
Cindy

"Never give up a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway"