I've been reading posts here and there, and have been participating for awhile now. Sometimes I am absolutely wishing I could just find a little motivation, and I'm confused as to why I don't more vigorously pursue my stated goal--to lose weight. Sometimes I'm happy I'm not gaining weight. I want to be healthy. Have a life where I can do what I want to do without worry that I will pull something, or put myself out of commission because I almost never move. I'm more concerned with lifestyle and attitude than calories.

If I lose a pound in three month, I figure I'm doing way better than I was doing in the past. Heck, if I just stay the same I'm doing far better than I was doing in the past. If I lose a pound in a week I think I am really doing outstanding! If I go up, no big deal. I know I'm better off than I was two years ago.

There are people right now at this site, that say you can't be healthy and overweight. If I never did drugs, smoked, nor drank, had only one healthy sexual relationship in my life, and have no other health problems other than being over-weight, I consider myself to be really lucky. I have experienced depression, and I have a sister with eating disorders. I am not about to make myself crazy over my weight if I can help it. I don't know how many times I've tried to comfort someone who lost ground, isn't losing as fast as they would like, or are plain discusted with themselves because they are over-weight.

Comments do get made about how much better "we" are who are really putting in the exercise and really avoiding the calorie laden foods. Skinny people eat calorie laden foods, at least some times, so why should we take on a life where we will deprive ourselves of stuff that we think is really special and good--forever? Until we deserve it by being perfect?

Is this a competition to see who can lose it faster? I love to see the real success stories, and to watch the real struggles of people who are doing what they need to transform themselves to healthier, happier people. It isn't always level. Up and down is often how it goes.

I just want to know if this attitude is consistent with DT?

You have already lost 43lbs... thats great. I think your great for diettalk.

You don't have a huge drive but that could be a good thing. Most people get real upset when they aren't losing and that usually works against them, as they get depressed.

Hi Dreamweaver,

I like your philosophy. What is the rush anyway? Pursuit of a healthy lifestyle is more important than the actual weight loss, especially for someone like you who has already lost a lot of weight.

I lost a chunk of weight over a year ago and have been maintaining for a year. I know I have more to lose (as evidenced by my very round midsection), but I too am in no rush. Losing quickly can be a real rush, but losing slowly shows very positive changes in your lifestlye.

Don't let others enthusiam for their quick weight loss programs get you down. We all have to find a way that works for us...and frankly I think you've found yours!

Everyone wants to look better...even thin people. But the healthy eating thing isn't just about that. It's about being healthier for me. Having more energy, not having my legs hurt that sort of thing. Losing weight is just part of that.

No one here is saying they are never going to have calorie and fat laden foods again. That would just not work.

43 pounds wow! And you seem to be doing it slowly which is great! You are much more likely to succeed then those of us who are losing faster.

You will be greatly welcome here at diettalk. Different opinions make for better discussions anyway.

But about the healthy and overweight thing....it just puts us all more at risk for some bad health conditions. It doesn't mean that you can't be healthy right now or that you will get sick. Just that there is a greater chance.

What I tried to write yesterday didn't get posted so let me try again. I just wanted to thank John for reminding me of the progress I've made, and thank Lizi for the gentel encouragement.

PP, I agree with what you said and that is my motivation for wanting to exercise and control my weight, but even thin healthy people suffer the effects of getting older. I would really like to talk to the people that make it to old age without a pain. I'm not making an excuse here, it is just a fact. But perfection is an awful standard. I know, I've lived with that my entire life.

PP, I know how defensive this sounds, and I hope you will for me forgive me for it. I'll just keep plugging along. Thanks for caring.

Who says losing weight has to be a perfect process? Only God is perfect. As you can see from my stats, I've I lost a ton. It wasn't all down hill but by striving to do better I managed to get healthy and keep the weight off for over 20 years. I have gained a few pounds here and there, but if it creeps up to 5, I get it off. Losing weight slowly has definite advantages in that you can learn a NEW way of eating and make it permanent. By the way, desserts have become a complete turn off. My big splurge is popcorn or ice cream. Cake, cookies, pie, etc. are too sweet and rich to be enjoyed. I don't feel I should be an enabler when someone overeats and asks my advice. I don't berate them; I tell them to put it behind them and get back with it but I'm not going to tell them it was okay because such and such was going on in their life. We have to deal with life in a more productive way.

Dreamweaver,

I tried being perfect and it didn't work for me so I don't strive for perfection any more. I do strive to be healthier and fit. I am not an exercise guru nor do I try to lose 100 lbs in 3 months. Slow and steady is the way I am going.

I have lost 45 lbs and have 95 to go. If I want to eat something I do knowing there are consequences for what I eat that may be positive or negative. I am not waiting until I have the perfect skinny body to eat. If I did I would probably be waiting a long time!!!!

When I was younger I did have a few extra pounds but like you I never drank, never did drugs and married to the same man for 39 years. I did smoke but quit before I had any health issue from smoking.

Now at 57 I make the choice to exercise and lose weight. I also make the choice to eat healthy foods. I am not denying myself of foods that I like but I am denying myself foods full of fat ,heavy sugars and cholesterol.

So far I haven't met anyone my age that is also heavy and healthy. If someone has led a healthy life and exercised they are usually not overweight!! I am not saying those heavy healthy people aren't out there I just don't know any.

Dreamweaver I don't think you are being defensive at all but rather asking questions. The people I have met here at DT are all here for the same reason. We just all have so many different personalities and are independent thinkers. Our commonality is losing weight and getting fitter, we just have different ways of getting there. Plus we are all at different levels of success.

Look at yourself you have lost 43 lbs. Whatever you are doing is working for you!! Good for you!!!!!

I have lost weight myself but sure has not been easy or always losing. Mine is more like a roller coaster of gaining and losing and finding what works for me. I have good days and bad days but I always have DT. I am certainly not competing to lose weight faster than anyone else simply because that is a waste of time.

I do however enter challenges to lose a certain amount of weight by a certain date. But that is my goal not someone else's. There may be several of us working in the same challenge but all with different goals. That is one way for me to get my motivation on the go!!

Hope I have been helpful to you!!
Lizzie

Dream..... I think you are a great asset to diettalk. Losing and maintaining like you have/are is wonderful! Lots of people here would be happy if they could achieve what you have. Here is a quote that I love and you made me think of it just now....
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Things are moving very slowly, but that's okay. The tree that grows the most slowly ends up being the strongest tree. I have given myself permission to grow slowly, just as long as I keep growing.

For the birds that cannot soar, God has provided low branches. - Turkish Proverb
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I am one of the "go slow" people here and I am learning more about myself daily. That, in the grand scheme of things is the healthiest thing I can do for myself. You are doing great..... don't ever feel like you aren't or that you need to change what you're doing to match someone else. I think one of the biggest dis-services we can do to ourselves is to compare ourselves to someone else. We're all unique and we're all different.... march to your own beat. You never know who might be watching and getting inspiration from your steadiness. I'm one of those that are inspired by you and I say THANK YOU for that.

BerthaMarie, I know what you mean about some things just being to sweet. For me it is most breakfast cereals. But I haven't attained your level yet. I get started and I don't want to stop, but only sometimes! That is the kicker! Not that it is okay, but a ton has been going on in my life, and that is when it is hardest not to slide back into the old habits. In fact I did stop visiting DT for a while because, well, basically I was falling apart.
Dieting was the last thing I needed to think about. But I'm back at it, not doing as well as I was, but getting there.

Lizzie B. Once upon a time, I would go on a diet, be very strict, lose the weight, be fine for awhile, and then I would gain and gain, till I was even heavier than I began. You can guess where that landed me. Healthy lifestyle is my only real goal now. I know eating chips all evening, and dipping into the candy bowl everytime I walk by is not healthy. The changes I've made are so small, that in and of themselves they had no impact, except in combination. Sometimes the change I make really is a misstep. Then the only thing to do is regroup.

DJ, You truely inspire me. E-mail me, I lost your address when I got a virus and had to re format.

Dream- you are a wonderful part of the DT family and such a supportive and successful person.
nobody here is perfect i think we are all just at our own place on our journey.
Its all about being happy with ourselves inside and out, and what someone else may do or believe is up to them. i can only do whats works for me.
You are a great lady! :)
hugs bell :)

Okay Bell, I guess I'll continue with DT. just this morning I was thinking very negatively, and the idea of dieting seemed useless. I guess that is the really value of Dt. Whenever I am ready to really just give up, someone is there to give just the right word of encouragement.

Love you all.

Not only is DietTalk the right place for YOU, DreamWeaver; I'm convinced it's the right place for EVERYONE!

There is so much to be learned about diet, nutrition, exercise, and a healthy lifestyle! What a great place to come to get that education.

At other "places" you are required to conform to a set standard that you had no hand in creating. I don't see how systems like that can possibly work.

Just take a look around. You can recognize the faces of people you have never MET - only seen in the newspaper or on TV. You would never pass up your next-door neighbor in the store because you didn't recognize her! You probably know a couple hundred people by name when you see their faces.

What more proof do any of us need that WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT ON THE INSIDE when it's so obvious that WE ARE ALL SO DIFFERENT ON THE OUTSIDE!

Check it out! One slightly oval head, topped with more or less hair, two ears, two eyes, one nose, one mouth, a chin and a neck. Yet those few features can be re-arranged in COUNTLESS ways to make us each unique!

Is DietTalk the place for you? You bet your boots it is!!

And I - for one - am glad you are here!

Hugs,
Lynn

Okay, I'm staying. You people are wonderful and will keep me on the ball. I love you all.