I’m writing a non-fiction book about women and weight loss. I’m working off the premise that although we know very well HOW to lose weight, there are other factors that enable food to have power over our lives. I’ll be exploring some of my own ideas about how to do this, but I also want to hear from others like me (I’ve lost 65 pounds over the past three years). I would like to include stories and info from a variety of women about their own opinions of this intimate and often painful issue.

Would you take a few minutes to share with me aspects of your weight loss journey/struggle? I’m interested in hearing from all of you -- whether or not you believe your journey has been completely successful.

Please reply to this message with your own answers to the following questions. If you are interested in receiving excerpts from the book and/or info about the book as it becomes available (assuming I find a publisher, of course), please be sure to include your e-mail address in your reply. Or you can reply directly to me at empathizer456@aol.com.

Thanks in advance for your help. I look forward to hearing from you.

Demographic info: Please tell me your age, race, and state of residence. Are you married? Kids? Do you work full-time? Part-time? Are you a homemaker? Please include height and weight info only if you are comfortable doing so.

During your most recent weight loss efforts, how many pounds did you lose?

What method (Diet) did you use to lose this weight?

Have you struggled with weight loss or issues related to weight all or most of your life?

What messages did you/do you get about fat, food, eating, self-image from your family of origin?

What do you believe is the primary reason you overeat?

What is your greatest source of pain related to overeating or your weight?

What helped you “get it?” What was your breakthrough or “a-ha” moment (if you’ve had it) with regard to your weight loss? (This doesn’t mean you don’t still struggle with weight – only that a lot is more clear to you than it used to be.)

What would you say (in your opinion – not what you’ve read) is the greatest contributor to obesity in society in general? Genetics? Family of origin? Poor self-image? Lack of exercise? Overeating? Social pressure? Poor habits? Other issues?

Tell me anything else you feel strongly about related to your personal weight loss journey.

Please remember to include an e-mail address if you’d like additional info or if you’d like me to be able to get in touch with you if I have follow-up questions.

Thanks very much for your help,
~RUTH

Demographic info:
age- 23
race- black
state of residence- kentuky
Are you married- no
Kids- no
Do you work full-time- yes
Are you a homemaker- no
height- 5'8"
weight- Start weight 243 ( 3/02), Current weight 209.5( 1/03)

During your most recent weight loss efforts, how many pounds did you lose? - Currently 35 lbs

What method (Diet) did you use to lose this weight? Richard Simmions Food mover

Have you struggled with weight loss or issues related to weight all or most of your life?- no. This is only the 2nd time I have tried to lose weight.

What messages did you/do you get about fat, food, eating, self-image from your family of origin? - The called me fat, twiggy, whale, I never respected their opinion because tehy were overweight themselves.

What do you believe is the primary reason you overeat?-
1) I overate becasue I didn't understand portion size.
2) I was too not to waste food.
3) My family gave me no nutritional information.
4) I feel I need to get my moneys worth at buffets
5) I had no desire to change this habit in teh begining.

What is your greatest source of pain related to overeating or your weight?
1) Phyiscal pain- My knees and back started hurting everyday. I was in need of over the counter medicine to relieve the pain.

What helped you “get it?” What was your breakthrough or “a-ha” moment (if you’ve had it) with regard to your weight loss? (This doesn’t mean you don’t still struggle with weight – only that a lot is more clear to you than it used to be.) - That if my body aches at 23 years old. My life ain't going to get no better at this rate.

What would you say (in your opinion – not what you’ve read) is the greatest contributor to obesity in society in general?
1) Low self-esteem. If people loved themselves they would take care of themselves physically becasue they know they are worth it.

Tell me anything else you feel strongly about related to your personal weight loss journey. - I did this for myself. That is the only reason this works. You cannot do this for others because you will not get the desired results.

My e-mail is kotqu_@excite.com

HI. My name is Heather.
Age: 36
Caucasian (English, Scottish and German, if you want more specific)
British Columbia, Canada
Married for 17 years, 3 teenage kids
I own my own business, as a freelance mediator and marriage counselor. Work out of my home.
5'5" currently 279. Highest weight, about 305.


I have just started losing this time (about 1 week now), and have lost 3 pounds. 2 years ago, I lost 50 lbs, through using Xenical and their BodiWellness program, and a online support group like this (Cyberdiet, before they started charging for it). Was doing great, but two things wrecked it. (1) I was in a bad car accident that took me about 4 months to recover from to be "normal", and another 6 months til I was able to excersise again. I had one foot in a cast for nearly 3 months, as well as whiplash and other injuries. (2) I got a grant to return to school to take graduate courses. (classes were to start 1 month after the accident). I was living in a hotel, traveling 500 miles every week. I had one week at school, one week home, for 8 months. During the week at school, because I was in hotels, and on crutches, and in pain, I ate 3 meals a day in restaurants. I tried to behave, but time, and money tended to leave me eating fast food for most of those meals. Between the fatty, rich food, and the inactivity of injury induced inactivty, combined with all day either in class or doing homework, led me to gain back 35 of the 50 lbs I lost.


Have you struggled with weight loss or issues related to weight all or most of your life? I have been "chubby" as long as I can recall. Each year had a few more added. And each tramatic event had me turning to food as my comfort. I was abused in all ways as a child, and had several miscarriages as an adult. Food saw me through all my pain. I was taught as a child, to rely on food for comfort. If we were celbrating, it was "have tea, and a sweet." If we were comforted, it was "Lets make a cup of tea, have a snack, and talk", or at other times "Shut up. here's a snack." Whenever Mom was mad at dad, she would make brownies, bread, or meringue pie ... something that requried lots of hand beating, or whipping, through which she would take out her anger. It was not expressed through words or other actions ... just in the aggressive preparation of the food.
I still am trying to break the habit of using food as the center of my emotions. But our society still tends to put food at the core of celebrating, and of comforting, so it is hard to change. I try to get better about eating, by thinking "am I eating out of hunger, or is it for another reason." Besides pain and joy, I often eat just to releive boredom.


Portion control is my main battle now ... it is hard to learn that a serving of pasta is a cup full, not a plate full. And if I do treat myself, that I need to only have a handful or two of chips ... not the whole warehouse size bag in one sitting.

Physically, I have arthrisis in my knees, shoulder and feet, partially do to past injuries, and partly due to weight. Walking for long periods of time hurts my feet horible, and I cannot wear heels at all since I passed 200lbs.

Regrets is the biggest pain tho. When I was a teen, the popular girls picked on me. My nicknames were "Thunder thighs" and "Hippo Hips". I was convinced I was horribly fat, undesirable, and would never be anything else. The funny thing is, about 10 years later I was cleaning out some old stuff, and found the jeans I wore in high school ... size 10 calvin kleins. I'd have given anything to fit into that size, at that point and now. I could not beleive that I had allowed these teen twits to convince me that I was horendensly fat, when I was not. Mentally, I thought of myself as a teen, as more overweight than I do now, yet I am over a hundred pounds heavier now. As a teen, I could only see the horrendous fat, and could not see past it. Now I see it (can't miss it!), but know it is not all there is to me.

The emotional abuse as a child and teen at home reinforced the message from those teen girls. I spent nearly 15 years, post- teen years before I came into my own as an adult. I really struggled with depression, and other issues up until about 3 years ago. I was on anti-depresants most of my adult life, and saw endless counselors and therapists, to little help until just recently.

What changed? I finally pressed charges against my father for the emotional, physical and sexual abuse. It was hard to go through the process, but after, It was like a glass wall that had always held me back was shattered, and I was finally able to get past it, and start living. I feel like I only became an adult 3 years ago ... until then I was this overgrown teen trapped in an emotional mummy bandage that would not allow me to feel anything, succeed at anything, or lose the weight that had always frustrated me so much.

Our greatest problems. Self image is a great one ... when media pushes these gorgoues pre-pubesent women on us, and says this is what a normal woman should look like, even if she has had a few kids. there is know way we can ever feel good about ourselves, and when you feel bad about yourself, you do not do what is best for your body. You either starve it, to be thin, or abuse it by gaining weight and such, in the depession of not being able to attain that forever unattainable goal. Lack of excersie yes ... we may all go to the gym, and such, but our lifestyle overall is one of laziness. We no longer walk to the store, we drive, even if it is not more than a few blocks away. Cordless phones, remote controls, dishwashers, etc. all keep us sitting instead of moving even in normal household activities. Computers I think have done more damage to our society than the couch potatoe sydrome associated with TVs. No longer will we think of walking to the library, to the post office, or the the mall, when it is all right in our living room, without having to move our butts at all. Lack of cooking skills is also a problem. Time is a problem for many households, yet many women (and men), even those that are home all day, do not know how to cook for themselves basic things like soup, bread, cakes, etc, so they have to resort to prepackaged foods, with all their extra added fats and calories. I often wonder how some people would manage to eat if microwaves and fast food restaruants were to suddenly disappear.

Our biggest problem though is our "bigger is better" philosophy. While yes maybe a bigger car or a bigger house does not affect us much, but the bigger TV, the bigger armchair, the bigger servings of food, the bigger plates, the bigger kitchens, the bigger selection of fancy food, processed foods, all in supersize formats, do severely harm us. I read someplace that when soda pop was introduced, a serving was a little less than 1.5 cups. Less than a pint. Today many will drink a quart, or even a half gallon by themselves, without a second thought. Maybe even more than 1 a day. Afterall, no one says you have to share a big gulp, or a supersized pop or fry, do they? And how about a supersize double latte with cream? We focus so much on the "value" we get for such a large serving, without realizing that it harms us, and we would save just as much if we just took a smaller size.

If you have any other questions, feel free to contact me.