I was supposed to meet an old friend tonight for dinner. This morning, however, I woke up and felt fat and gross. My clothes don't fit well, I have been cheating a lot, and I am embarrassed because I look fat. So, I canceled on dinner and pretended to be sick. I am so upset with myself for doing that. I can't believe that I actually backed out of plans for no other reason than because I was not proud of how I looked. Has this happened you you guys, and if so, how do i snap out of it?

I too have felt "gross and fat" and cancelled plans because of it but that was years ago. I learned over all those years that I am not my body. My body only covers "me." When people love and accept you for what and who you are even if you are feeling "gross and fat," to them you are just wonderful company. I hope you're not to down on yourself. We've all been there. Good luck and remember...YOU CAN DO IT! Love Babs

"One day one meal at a time."

You know, it hasn't. But for a rather simple reason. I am kind of an all or nothing person. I truly care about what my friends think. I care for them, and believe that they love me. And I don't really bother myself about anyone else. Oh, I am a friendly person, open and chatty. But I just don't care that much what people think about me, I'm friendly, kind and chatty becouse that's how I am, not to make an good impression.
The grand total of all my friends is 3. I would never cancel a date with any of them becouse of my appearance. They did not choose me as a friend becouse I'm so glamorous. And I wouldn't care enough about the opinion of anyone else to cancel.
This is who I am. I am (like all of us) a work in progress. If a person is of the mind to like me more or less depending on my weight, I certainly don't want to waste any time on them.
Know what I mean? :)

I hear and feel everything in each post here... and thought I would add my thoughts of the moment.

I can relate to feeling like I just didn't have anything I could wear that would hide me enough... that I didn't want to "face" people because I did not feel good about myself.

That was then... and this is now.

Now, I relate more to the last post here. I have learned that first and foremost, you have to love yourself for who you are. I agree whole-heartedly that those people in my life that love me will continue to love me throughout good times and bad because they love me from the inside out, not the outside in.

Don't hide, dear. Be yourself. Love yourself... and allow others to love you as well.

Have a super day.
Roxie

i cancel alot of plans too..i even dread shopping now which used to be my favorite past time lol..i am learning not really to care about how i look my friends got a lil angry when i started avoiding them..when i finally told my best friend what was bothering me she laughed and said i was beautiful..thus the reason for my quote..have fun hun go out, don't let your weight stress you out more than it should..

Nikita

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Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

I WISH I could say I didn't ever do that...but I have, many times. Cancelled on plans with friends, and to my ultimate shame..cancelled fun times with my kids..all because I'm so fat and embarassed about it. I dont do that anymore..and it's not because I've lost all the weight I want to....FAR from it. I'm just not going to take a back seat anymore. I'm not going to miss out on another minute of my life cause I'm not "perfect". I owe this to me, and my family. The way to get over it...is to GET OVER IT! Go out and have fun, live your life! We are all a "work in progress"..and we can do it!! Dont ever be ashamed of yourself..you are a wonderful, beautiful person! YOU ALL ARE! ((((HUGS))))
Peach

I think a lot of people have been in your exact same postion. I wish I could say that I am confident enough about myself that how I looked didn't matter, but it does. It always has been for me. No, you're not alone! I can't wait for that day when I do feel the confidence that allows me to feel comfortable with ME.

Oh, yes, I've done this. In fact, it was only last month when I thought for a moment of not joining my very dearest friends for a celebration becuase I was embarassed by my weight. When I realized how much I was willing to give up just to eat, it was sobering! I went, knowing that they loved me anyway, just as I am. I am the one being so embarassed and critical of myself, not them. I am the one who forgets that this is all just part of the journey, and really I am perfect just like I am. When do you need love and friends the most then when you are being so hard on yourself? Don't say no to life and love. It is exactly what we need.

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Discomama

Hi, just three weeks ago I did this for the first time. We were supposed to meet friends for lunch. The woman half of the couple had a baby three months ago and is back to her 115 lb self already and here I am with my kids 3 and 1 and still have 58 extra lbs on my frame from before I had kids. At the last minute I told my husband to go without me and take just our 3 year old and use the excuse our baby was sick. I sat home and even though I had some fun time with my daughter felt AWFUL that I was too ashamed to face friends because of my wieght. I decided to take that negative feeling and turn it around to use as a positive. I vowed I will never do that or feel that way again. It was a wakeup call for me, my version of hitting bottom to make some changes. I bought a notebook and have been tracking calories and started waking up 1 hour earlier in the am to excercise. This means getting up at 5:00, but I am determined to feel proud of my body not ashamed.

So bascily that was a longwinded response of yes, I have done it, you are totally normal for feeling the way you did. Take it and use it to inspire you to transform your body into something you are proud of not ashamed of. YOu can do it. You will do it. We are all in this together.

I dont kow how u can snap out of it, but dont worry u arent alone i do it all the time. Ive missed family gatherings, clubbing and dates because when i looked in the mirror i didnt c what i wanted to c. I just felt fat and ugly, my clothes werent fitting properly and i refused to leave the house. I really dont know what u could do, all i know is that it aint good and u need to do something about it before u get to the point where u find just leaving the house difficult becuase u dont like how u look. Thats kinda where i am rite now, i feel bad stepping out the front porch. Sorry if this wasnt much help.
Fatnfly xx

I know exactly what you mean. There are things I haven't done in years because of the way I look(wear swimsuit,shorts,etc.)
The truth of the matter is I am just being vain and selfish. Not that many people care if I am wearing shorts on a hot summer day!! My family and friends who sincerly enjoy my company miss out on ME, because I am so hard on myself.
It took me five years, but last week I came to an amazing clarity last week. I can't lose weight because I don't love myself. I don't think I deserve it. So, the root of my problems is much deeper than just losing weight. It's is finding out why I put the weight on in the first place.
To make it short, the point is you've got to live your life, whether you are fat or not. It's after you love yourself you want the better,healthy lifestyle.

2B..... hope you aren't still feeling so badly about yourself. You've had a lot of good replies here and good advice, too. I know when I'm feeling like that I try taking extra pains to dress nicely, put on make up and wear jewelry and then just go. The feelings of not wanting to be somewhere disappear once I get there and I'm always glad I went then! Just remember how much you are missing when you deny yourself good times and companionship with friends. Your friends love you for who you are...... not for how much you weigh or what you look like! Life is too short and too uncertain to hold back. Look within and find that special someone that all your friends see already! Take care and hope the holidays are treating you well!

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Here's to healthy and happy!

Dj