It seems as though my husband is not happy with my diet decision. He himself could lose some weight too. I told him why I wanted to go on a diet (for my health), and asked him if he wanted to go on one too. I told him it was his choice. He said that he wasn't ready. SO, now he is doing things he never did before. He picked me up at work the other night, with food from dairy queen, we are talking fried chicken sandwich, large fries, and a blizzard. I thought the gesture was sweet, he didn't want me to have to come home from a bad day at work (I had talked to him on my break and told him I was having a bad day) and have to cook dinner. When I told him that I loved the gesture, I told him that next time he should get me the grilled chicken salad no cheese. And I can use my own dressing since theirs comes on the side anyway. And maybe a fat free ice pop or something. He said that he didn't think I was actually serious about the whole diet thing. And this is the first time I have ever dieted since we have been together. It isn't like I start a different diet every Monday that is out the door by Tuesday at lunch.

Then again, we spent most of the evening cleaning out our utility room and porch yesterday. 4 hours actually, moving papers, boxed, hauling off a lot a crap in general. So we had room to move our old broken washer out, and the new one in. When we were done, he ran out to get smokes, and came home once again with blizzards (ice cream and peanut butter Oreo's my biggest weakness) as a treat for all of our hard work.

Did anyone else have this problem????

Alley May

Misery loves company. He wants an eating buddy so he doesn't have to think about his weight.

The fact is though is you are a grown woman. If he brings in something you are not going to eat. Say thanks for the thought. Put it in the freezer and tell him to eat it later or just trash it.

No one can sabatoge you. People can tempt you but you are the one that has to eat it.

Hiya,,
My hubby, when I first started brought me home a candy bar and said..oooh are you allowed to have this? I said no, but I dont want it anyways, give it to our son or you eat it. Then the next day he brought me home one of those Chocolate Moovers! Oh I love that milk..lol But I didnt drink it..
I now exercise and he is wondering what I am up too! That is good, keep him guessing lol
I havent been on a diet in years lol But at that time, I would start one and quit. He would call them the 'never ending stories'.
I have been at this for nearly 2 months now and he keeps watching me! I think he is waiting for me to quit.
I was out on the Nordictrack yesterday morning while he was sitting on the screened in back deck and all of a sudden he is becoming my coach LOL
He is the jealous sort, I hope this doesnt cause probs..lol
I need to lose weight so I can get my life back! My spine is so pressured I cant function anymore..

Keep on keepin on!

Lisa is so right. Misery loves company!

In the past my DH would doing things just like yours, Alley May. Now he's on the program with me and he's so excited to be losing weight and getting healthier that he wouldn't dream of sabatoging me/us. He's feeling so much better he can play 18 holes of golf twice a week. Couldn't do that last summer! ;)

my husband is quite a lot overweight as well. He has a disorder, wich makes it very difficult for him to lose the weight. He doens't have a problem with it however.

Now, he doesn't have a problem with my weight as well, he likes me just the way that I am. Therefore, he always tells me, that if I want to go on a diet, I should do it for myself not for somebody else. Wise words in my opinion. He won't sabotage me, though he does bring home some things I like as well. If I would say 'no thanks' he wouldn't make a problem of it cause he bought it for himself. Most of the time he would phone me, and ask what I would like as a (healthy) treat.

true love?:hug:

tulip jo
:flower:

My hubby does the sabatoge thing too ... I think it springs from a few things.

1. He needs to loose, and seeing me loose makes him feel guilty for not losing himself.

2. He wants the eating buddy, and feels like I am avoiding him personally when I choose not to eat the donuts with him.

3. Insecurity about our marriage. If I look better, but he does not, will I leave him? He knows intellectually I will not, but deep down I think he still has this fear. Part of if is because a close friend of mine did this ... lost 50 lbs, and walked out on her kids and hubby. He is afraid that will happen, and know matter what I do to reasure him, I think the fear is still there, so he does what he can to prevent it.

4. Some guys just can't cope with any change in the status quo, no matter how beneficial it is.

One way I got him on my side ... I got a subsription to Vicotria's Secret, and told him he gets to pick out the outfits, once I am skinny enough to where them.

My SO is cool with my weight loss so far. At first Hicks would say, "where's my chubby angel going" Or "how much more are you going to lose?" But now its cool. I am just so happy that Hicks isn't like others who hound their loved one to lose weight and are always mean about weight loss. I thank God every night that I am loved no matter what weight.

I'll tell you a trade secret... men are very insecure... if you lose the weight, you just might go looking some place else or other men will start looking at you more.. IMHO, that is what he could be worried about.

My husband does the same thing, Even if I asked him to buy me a small bar of chocolate and I do stress the small part, He comes in with a multi pack or the large size. I have told him I am not going to be his eating buddy, It is hard though when he brings in some fo my favourite things ( Cadbury whole nut chocolate bar). One of the best ways I beat this, is to share it out.

First of all - Thank you John for being honest with us :)

Second of all - I 100% agree with John. I have a 6' tall 150 lb hubby who can out eat anyone any time and never gain any weight.........grrrrrrrrr

He say's he supports my weight loss efforts BUT when i am doing well - he comes home with a choc. brownie or chips or something he knows I really like. Now when I am not doing so well - he never comes home with these type of things.......so yes I agree with John that for the most part men would rather we women stay heavy for their own selfish reasons - just my opinion :)


Jade :peace:

LET THE STUDENT BECOME THE TEACHER!!!!

Many times when we begin a new journey,we actually spend many hours preparing for the quest ,learning the facts and gearing ourselves up for success. Those around us usually do not get that kind of preparation.
My point is,they may not be trying to sabotage you,but may be trying to tell you in their own sweet way that they don't understand what you are doing.Become the teacher,give them the tools to help you and therefor help themselves.
(Think of it like a mechanically ignorant person going into a busy garage and trying to repair a car.We would be the ones making the "mistakes".)
One more comment to add fuel to the fire.......How many times has he seen you come home with the "wrong" food,or heard you sat,this one little bit won"t hurt???????How is he to know the difference????

Hi, i always say, be prepared for success, which means, have the right foods on hand, okay you work hard, both of you learn to keep healthy foods on hand for quick meals, he doesnt have to have that if he doesnt want to, but it will be there for you. when i started this new health journey in '96 when we would be out i would special order all my food where we were eating, my hubby would about crawl under the table, he never wants any kind of scene to be made. after time though , he saw my success and that i was sticking to it, and now when we eat out he never tries to order for me, he just says she knows what she wants and how she wants it, and he is saying this proudly. consistantly with eating/exercising will lead you to success, good luck, by the way, i moved to Kansas when i married(hubbies home state) we lived there 23 yrs, relocated to south georgia 10 yrs ago

My husband is a dieter's worst enemy. When we go grocery shopping I load the cart with my low fat items and he loads his fattening items right on top of mine. I have begged and pleaded for him to help me with this but he won't. (He could lose some weight himself). While he has always encouraged me and cheered me on he still needs to help a little more in certain areas. I love him to death but it just really irritates me.