View Full Version : What to do if you are Off Track: Dont Confuse Disappointment with Disaster


sooz
06-22-03, 09:13 PM
I got the following in my email today...from someone who was just coming off a binge..she found the following article and thought it helpful, and so do i....if you have been binging or have had a gain or have been off track, maybe it can help you also:

**************************

I was over at Dotties reading messages and came across this written by
Sherincanada. She hit it right on the nail for me.

Don’t Confuse Disappointment with Disaster

Just as we experience many joys as we travel down the road to better
health, we also face some disappointments in our weight-loss journey.

Perhaps we overate and are disappointed in our behavior. Perhaps during
weigh-in we maintained or showed a gain and we are disappointed in the
results. Perhaps we can't get motivated to exercise and we are
disappointed in our lack of effort.

To think we will do this program without encountering some low points
along the way is unrealistic. However, those unrealistic expectations
are what cause many to quit before they reach their ultimate goal. We
know we cannot walk the tightrope without falling off a time or two -
yet we still demand that perfection of ourselves. We set ourselves up
for failure because it's an easy way out.

Don’t confuse disappointment with disaster.

Stop thinking every minor setback is a reason to quit. A gain is not a
reason to quit.
“Just a two-pound loss” this week is not reason to quit. Missing your
goal this week by
5 or .5 pounds is not reason to quit. Binging for an hour, a day, a week
or a month is
not reason to quit.

These are not disasters within themselves - but quitting because of
these reasons is
disastrous. How are you ever going to get healthier and fit by stopping?
Halfway
following your weight-loss program is better than not at all. And,
always remember,
you can always, ALWAYS get back on track as quick as you got off of it.
Just stop
what you are doing and replace negative behaviors with positive ones.
Take control of
yourself.

When you are faced with disappointment, just know it will all work out
in the end if
you keep your eye on your goal and your body moving forward. Success
will
ultimately come if you just keep pushing. You have to want this more
than anything
else.

When you are faced with disappointment, you first have to address it.
Yes, it is
frustrating. Yes, it can be hurtful. Yes, it makes you feel like
quitting sometimes. Don't
bottle up your emotions or try to push them to the back of your mind in
hopes you are
hiding them. Feel them. Explore why you are disappointed. Talk it out
with yourself
and with anyone else you feel comfortable sharing with.

Once you have brought your disappointment into the light, you will see
it is not as
intimidating as it was in the dark corners of your mind. You will see
you CAN
overcome it - it's not bigger than your desire to succeed. Yes, it is
very real but it is not
as disastrous as you imagined it to be.

After you have addressed your feelings, then work toward a solution to
overcome the
disappointment. If you binged, figure out how to avoid another one. What
triggered
you? If you gained, figure out what might have caused it. If it is an
unexplained gain,
just strengthen yourself mentally to realize you need non-scale
victories to show
progress until the scale catches up with your good habits.

Don’t confuse disappointment with disaster.

Be prepared for the bumps in the road and be flexible enough to deal
with them. Take
time for yourself - feel the disappointment and then move on to bigger
and better
things. Just remember, the only disaster would be if you gave up on
something that
holds so much promise of happiness and health for you.

Mental exercise for the day:

Identify some past disappointments you've had. Did you work through them
and come
out a better person, or did you throw in the towel and quit? How can you
better deal
with the disappointments that are sure to come in your weight-loss
journey?

Be sure to remember the good when dealing with the bad. Make a list of
all the
positives you have encountered in your journey. It will help keep it all
in perspective.
Sherry (In Canada)
76.6 lbs down!

Badger
06-23-03, 08:15 AM
Thanks Sooz. I needed that! :wave:

vendigirl
06-23-03, 11:32 PM
Wow! Great post. Thanks so much for that. I printed it to post somewhere conspicuous.

sooz
06-24-03, 12:36 AM
im glad you both found it helpful..i thought it was a great article :up:

Polly Esther
06-24-03, 01:02 AM
Fantastic, sooz! Sometimes we just have to get back up on the horse which "threw" us. It's really a learning curve, isn't it? One disappointment does not a disaster make...now if I can remember that, lol!www.doramail.com.neatonido.OhNo.gif

bird songs
06-24-03, 01:13 AM
Wow Sooz, thank you for posting that!
It really is only a disappointment isnt it??
Well, heck, I can handle that ! lol
I have had about 70 days of dieting and only about 2 or 3 rough ones..
When I see it this way, how forgiveable!

Thank you!

sooz
06-24-03, 02:24 AM
polly it def is a learning curve!!

and 2-3 rough ones out of 70 is more than forgiveable karen, it is predictable... and when it is not used for an excuse for giving up, well, that makes it an outstanding learning experience!! congratulations!!!

Corinna
06-24-03, 08:26 AM
Great post, sooz!

bird songs
06-28-03, 08:20 AM
I would like to add that thread to my signature, if you dont mind..
I think that just about says it all!
Glad you found it for us!!

Aragon
06-28-03, 09:48 AM
Hi Sooz,

Awesome post. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Adios

Aragon.

sooz
06-28-03, 03:32 PM
that would be great karen...excellent idea!!!

glad you liked the thread corinna and aragon..we all need to hear this message from time to time!! :up:

bird songs
06-28-03, 05:57 PM
Tell me how Sooz, hahahahaha

bell
06-28-03, 06:20 PM
what a great post Sooz...
one of my fave quotes reminds me of this thinking too.
"Failure is not in stumbling but in failing to get back up...."
i dont think that anything worth acheiving comes easily anyway, i am willing to face the good with the bad in order to reach my goals.
hugs bell :)

sooz
06-28-03, 08:54 PM
um..karen..click on user cp at the top of the page, then click on edit profile, then enter what you want in the signature box..then click on submit modifications at the bottom of the page..you prob wont be able to use the whole thread..but you could use the addy to it, or portions of it..:D

sooz
06-28-03, 08:55 PM
thats a great one bell!! thanx so much for sharing it..so true!!

bird songs
06-28-03, 09:18 PM
I tried that sooz and it wasnt a clickable link lol

Well, I kept that post about disasters. My goodness we go from not caring what we put in our mouths to expecting ourselves to be perfect human beings.
Before, I wouldnt have cared how many transfatty acids I had. Or Sats, calories, fats.. Now I have to watch that I dont become compulsive on the other end of the spectrum! I was buying fat free EVERYTHING. I was getting anywhere between 6-8 grams of fat a day! Now, I buy low fat things like cheeses, sour cream..etc..
Just my salad dressing is fat free, because sometimes (not always) my veggies swim in it LOL
Used to eat pure butter sandwiches, now I am afraid to scoop a tsp of marg onto a piece of bread?
No more!
I want normal..and balanced....
Moderation..

Qvictoria
06-28-03, 10:40 PM
Thanks for sharing that post, Sooz!

Bell, I very much agree with your quote ... adding another that I've heard and thought about a lot ... that no one knows how close to success they are until they give up.

:)

CJL
06-29-03, 11:02 PM
Great post!

juls
07-11-03, 02:39 PM
Wow Sooz I got this link from your post im my journal It came in the right time. Thanks

Julie

CJ 5
07-11-03, 03:04 PM
sooz you should sticky this thing to the top. Best DDDD=DS post of all time

amyrs
07-12-03, 02:20 PM
I needed to hear that. I think so bad about my failures so often and don't put them into the larger picture. My pants are too tight and then I think what's the point. I don't lose and then want to binge. I need to think about the larger picture. It's not a disaster my mistakes why give into larger mistakes. Thinking constantly of binging doesn't have to lead to a binge like usual. Why compound the smaller detours into major problems. I hope I can follow this advice.

sooz
07-13-03, 01:51 PM
thank you so much cj!!

amy, good thoughts!! if we just make small changes, over time they can lead to large successes..i like the saying "it doesnt matter the size of the footsteps as long as they are headed in the right direction"...and even if we take some detours along the way, if we continue on our journey we will get to our destination!! :rose:

Dj
07-14-03, 09:19 AM
That's a great thing to read, sooz. I am grateful you took the time to post that! I'm printing it out for my notebook!

Thanks and have a great week!

sooz
07-14-03, 02:18 PM
dj, i was lucky enough to have it sent to me by an email friend and i thought it was so great too...im glad you liked it..:rose:

bird songs
09-14-03, 12:40 PM
I just wanted to pull this article up again. I thought it showed us a bit about how to really love ourselves and stop being our own worse enemy.

Its worth reading over and over....MHO

boblin
09-18-03, 10:15 PM
thank you Sooz that was very very interesting.

See you lighter