Well, here i go again! Another attempt at losing weight.....
Only this time I'm really ready!! I am determined to do it this time!
No more excuses!!!!!!!

Now that my self pep talk is done, I can get back to my journal....
I am 24/F/5'1"/170lbs. I want to lose 40lbs, not just for my sake, but for my daughter and bf. My little girl is 2 and a half going on 13. Today she took off to her bedroom with a chocolate icecream cone and closed her door. I yelled her name from the kitchen twice so she would come back. She opens her door, walks back to the kitchen, looks at me with a chocolate covered face and says "What do you want now?" OMG!!! Where did she ever hear that from!!!! I blame daddy of course. She is such a character.

Back to the weight issue. I weighed 175lbs. 2 days ago, and today i weighed 170lbs. with only adding more water to my diet. Hmmm, maybe there is something to that water thing..... hehe! I slipped the past two nights and had a HUGE supper both times. I think my brain thought they would be my last meals or something. Nice excuse, huh!?! I WILL start my diet TODAY. I am going to try the subway plan and drink more water. Exercise will work itself into the schedule eventually. I am more worried about my eating habbits right now.

I have had no support with this from anyone here at home. They all gripe at me for gaining so much weight, yet when i try to start a diet or something they all say i cant do it because i love sugar and caffine too much. Even my boyfriend doesnt support me with it. I try to talk to him about it but he just says "yeah, we'll see" or everyones favorite "whatever". The one that really hurts is my dad asking when I am going to go on a diet. You know that really shoots down the self-confidence. But, what can you do!!!!????!!!!

I am in a size 16-18 jeans right now, and I am determined to fit back into my 9-10 jeans in the dresser drawer. I spent too much money on those clothes not to be able to wear them now!!! Also, i want to shrink other areas but i wont mention them here. Im sure you know what i am talking about!

I will post an update later today. Wish me luck!!!!!

Hello and welcome,

well sorry to hear you lack support at home cuz that helps but there is alot of support here for you.
my family is supportive but i get most of my support and help right here.

this site and the people are all so wonderful.

i follow ww but i do love subway and i eat it every other friday nite.
my favorite is the subway club and i skip the cheese and get FF italian on it.
the wow chips are very low for you too. i have those too.

anyways its great that you decided to get fit and healthy and you took the first step in coming here.
you will do great. 5 pounds off in 2 days is fantastic.

if you need anything give a yell. Take care.

Hi snoopy and welcome to DT!! You will love it here and will find so much support and encouragment and many great tips on this new way of life. Sorry to hear about the lack of support at home as that really does help us all but you CAN do this and if you post here regularly you will definitely get so much support and meet many new friends. We all know how your feeling so feel free to open up and share your feelings.

Sounds like your off to a great start by upping your water intake. I also did subway diet for awhile and it really works (gets a little expensive) but you can also make your own at home. I got tired of them so I switched to Lean Cuisine's and a salad but will probably be going back to the subway diet soon.

Take care and welcome! :D

Hi Snoopy,
Welcome to Diettalk. This is a incredibly supportive community and I am sure that you will find much support and compassion here. And your family will come around once they see how well you are gonna do.
Keep drinking that water! And although I have never gone strictly by the SUBWAY diet....it has been proven to be effective and I use it at times for short periods of times.
Good luck sweetie....I'll check in again.



Vickie:coach: :dn

You can do it Snoopy! Oh what I wouldn't give to fit into a size 18 jeans right now .. I'd be strutting my stuff! I tell ya.. heheheh just to be under 200 again!:dn Hey girl. Feel proud ok? For me? But hey .. I know .. we all know what we need/want and if losing weight is what you want go for it but don't let anyone tell you you can't do something... you know darn well that you can. You don't have to give up caffeene.. or sweets.. just cut down...you know.. and what you don't know you can learn.. I wish you great success and good friendships here on diettalk too.. :wave:

:D Hiya snoopy!
welcome to diettalk, you will find all the support you could possinly need right here from people who know what its like to be on this journey.
I wish you much success and if ever you need to chat feel free to message me or visit my journal..i will stop in here and see how you are doing.
i have a 3 year old son plus a 5 year old daughter, i know what characters they can be lol.
hugs bell :)

Thanks everyone!!! Your support means alot to me!!! Im glad to have people i can talk to that wont bash me everytime i mention "diet".
Well, now for the bad news. My day didnt start off like i planned, so i ended up eating foods i was trying to stay away from. My little girl stayed up all night, and didnt go back to bed till 8 this morning. I was so tired i ended up going back to bed myself and slept until 3pm!! That shot half my day! Also, i ended up having another bad headache, so i had to grab the first thing i could find in the fridge just to get something on my stomach- hot tamollies. I ate 5 of them. They are about the size of two marshmellows. They are homemade also, which makes them even more irresistable. My parents make them about 3 to 4 times a year and this time they made 460 of them. Took all day to make them! After i ate those, my little girl wanted me to eat a pop tart with her. So, i had one of those also.
Well, I didnt snack all day, which i am proud of! But, I ended up eating 3 biscuts with jelly and butter for supper. Not a very good supper to say the least.
So, all i have had today is 5 hot tamollies, 1 pop tart, and 3 biscuts with jelly and butter. Also, 2 cups of crangrape juice. Very sugary!
I plan to start over tomorrow. I dont get out of my house much, so this is going to be hard. I know once i get started it will get easier though.
I am not brave enough to step on the scale today. I will tomorrow. I also want to get up the energy to go walking tomorrow too. Maybe my mom will walk with me. She is an inspiration to me. She tries not to say too much about my weight gain, but everytime she looks at me i can see her thoughts. She lost 20 lbs. and she looks great now. She is down to a size 8-9 in jeans. I remember when we used to share clothes!!! Those were the days..... I really had a wardrobe then!
Until next time!!!

Well, I have yet to be able to eat today. Too busy trying to clean house. I havent even taken a shower yet!!! I have some slim fast meal on the go bars and i am thinking of just having one of those or an apple. Something quick and able to eat while cleaning! Well, havent weighed in yet. Might do that in a few. Some friends want me and my bf to go out tonight, but we dont have the money and i dont want to eat out cause of the track record ive had the past few days. Also, i dont have a babysitter, so that takes care of that one!!! They owe me alot of money too, and i hate to see them spend money infront of us on booze when they havent paid me anything in the past 3 months. They are supposed to be making monthly payments. Oh well!!!
I'll try to eat something now and get back to cleaning!

I finally weighed in. Im at 170 agian! I had went up for a couple of days, but finally got that back off. I hate yo-yoing! I finally got my shower, and feel much better. Now i just have to take care of my stomach! Going to eat now!

Hi Snoopy,
Sometimes its hard to get started but once you get in the swing of things, you will off and flying. I am sure of that.
Being able to talk to ppl without fear of being judged or without that "sure you're gonna lose weight" attitude is one of the best things about coming here. I love that.
Loaning money...groan...I do it too and I don't know why I do. I have decided though that I loan money not expecting to get it back.....that way, the ones that are repaid is a breath of fresh air and a good experience. And I am not spending months or even years agonizing over someone not paying me back. And I never loan money I cannot afford to lose.

Have a good day dear one...see ya later


Vickie:coach: :dn

well, the amount of money i loaned was 800 dollars! I helped with their wedding because they couldnt afford one. They said they would pay me back, so i said ok. If it wasnt so much, it wouldnt be a big deal. They are supposed to make a big payment when their income tax gets in. Here's hoping!!
I didnt get out today and get me subway like planned. I ended up eating 3 slices of pizza!! Bf is a shift manager at a pizza joint and brings home pizza. Talk about temptation!!!! I have drank more water today though. I also had a slim fast snack bar for a snack. Oh, i also had a apple for breakfast. For supper i had 2 slices of pizza again. **** pizza!!!! At least it is gone now! hehe
I am posting a big note on fridge to get myself back on track. Its so hard around here cause everyone eats junk food 24/7!!! I am a big bread eater, which makes dieting very hard cause its loaded with carbs. I am proud of myself kinda though. I havent had a soda in 2 days!!! For me that is unheard of!!! I have been keeping juice and water in fridge to grab instead of soda. But when a pepsi or coke surfaces i am the first to grab it! I am gonna try to get started drinking diet sodas again. I have been told they are just as bad as a regular soda though. Aspertame or something..... Well, gonna go to bed now. Hope tomorrow is better.

Hey again Snoopy! You're already down 5 pounds that's great! Woo hoo!* Way to go on resisting the soda! That's hard to do!:cheers: I do hope your friends are trustworthy. It's nice to be able to help out a friend but it's also nice to know that they value thier word to you too!
I don't think having carb's is so bad as long as you keep track of your calories. I use www.fitday.com you might check that out. Now I've heard a lot of people here on diettalk on low carb diets and I'm sure if you can stick to that you would lose weight and surely it is a safe diet too. But it isn't the only way.
Me, so far I've just been recording what I eat. keeping track and if my calories hit my maximum I just drink water the rest of the night. I have a lot to learn I know... but for right now just eating what my body wants and drinking as much water as possible has helped me to lose my first 21 pounds. Oh and walking..

Well, peace! I hope you find what works for you and tell all of us about it!.. Oh and by the way your signature says feb instead of Jan.. heheh :D Have a great day!:dn

Well, here i am agian. Daughter has been up since 4am. I havent been able to get any sleep yet, so i have been working on cleaning the house. I am doing good so far this morning. I've had a glass of water and am working on a red apple. Its really crunchy too!! I went to fitday.com and signed up. Thats a really cool site! I also gave myself a little hair cut last night. I wasnt able to get the back too good, but it will work. I dont have $15 to spend on a trim, so i did it myself.
I am probably gonna end up going back to bed when she does. In fact, i know i am! I am determined to really get with the program today too. I feel much better today than i have the past few days. Not as depressed i think is the reason. I am supposed to be on anti-depressants, but i am trying to see if i can live without them. They have caused me to gain another 15 lbs. since i have been on them. Well, be back later!

:wave:
Snoopy, Welcome to diettalk journals! I see the hard time you are having at home with your diet. Don't give up! YOU CAN DO THIS GIRL! I don't understand others that won't support someone on a weight loss journey! I know they are out there though. If they don't say much, knowing you're dieting they will try to tempt you with fatty foods. I know it is hard to get your feet off the ground and say, That's it I've had enough! I am going to lose this weight and I'm not going to fail! But you can do it, girl!!! If you blubber one day, pick yourself back up, count that as a mistake and go on! The more you do this, the easier it will get, at least that's the way it worked for me. Work on getting fatty foods out of the house. If you're on a budget, trade fatty foods for healthy foods a little at a time and if there's anyway any of us here at diettalk can help, let us know! We are all here for each other! You have already made the hardest move, MAKING UP YOUR MIND TO LOSE! That took motivation! The first step! :cheer: We're here for you the rest of the way!!!!!!

~You Can Do This!!!:dn

hi Snoopy,
Just stopping to say hello. Keep pushing forward.....you WILL be successful in the end. No matter what happens with all the people who won't support you now.



Vickie:coach: :dn

Ok. I blew it these past 2 days. I was doing really good during the day, but when the sun goes down, i am like a totally different person. Kinda like an eating machine! I cant stand myself anymore! Why do i keep letting myself get off track? I ate pizza the other night and last night i had long john silvers! Pure fat!!!! I had intended to go to subway, but my truck decided it wanted to go to long johns(hehe). What an excuse huh? After i ate, i was so disgusted with myself. I have also been trying to disipline myself on portion sizes. Not going to good in that department. I stepped on the scale last night and it was 177. Totally blew me away. I ended up covering up the scale with a dirty towel on the floor because i couldnt look at it. I weighed again this morning and it was 174. So, i have gained back 4 pounds. I am sure i will be able to lose them in the next couple of days, but its like starting from scratch again. I really hate that. I always blow it when i am starting to do good.
I thank everyone for your support. Maybe i can pick myself up and try again as long as i stay focused and not give in to temptation at night. I am not looking forward to tonight though. I need to go grocery shopping and was thinking about stocking a days worth of subway in fridge just in case.
Well, im going back to bed now. If im in bed i know i wont eat. I will check back later.

I am feeling a little better now. I was really depressed earlier. I have been cleaning house tonight and got my bedroom almost done. You can see the floor now! Cleaning always makes me feel better. A dirty house is the main thing that depresses me, and its ALWAYS dirty! I am not a good housekeeper. Yes, i admitted that!
About my diet so far. I am not going to check my weight for a few days. I know its up there, so why bother? I had taco bell tonight cause I really need to go get groceries, but i hate shopping! I only ate 3 steak taco's instead of 5. And i didnt have dessert! A little improvement will go a long way! Its a good start for me. I am going to post a big sign on fridge that says START EATING HEALTHY NOW!!!! I keep saying "well, i will start again tomorrow". Yeah right! I gotta start now. I want to start walking, but its in the single digits outside and isnt supposed to get above 20 today. I am too embarrassed to do my exercise videos at home cause we have a roommate and i dont want to do them infront of him. He doesnt have a job so he is home all day. I am thinking about paying 5 dollars a month to walk at a catwalk until it warms up a little.
I am going to try to eat healthy today. I really gotta go shopping!!!!

I have started out ok so far. I filled my taco bell cup full of ice water. Makes it easier for me to drink like that. I have half a gallon of water in fridge and am determined to drink it all today. My daughter is still up. She fell asleep around 7pm. I should have known better.... she woke up around 11pm and has been up ever since. She sleeps fine for my mom, but for some reason she wont with me. I guess its cause my house isnt quiet enough during the night. With two guys who snore too loud, and one that is up and down all night, how could she stay asleep? I am trying to plan my meals and snacks for today. That way i might actually stick to my plan. Wish me luck!

Hey Snoopy,
Great job on that water intake! About getting out in the icy weather, would you believe I risked it today?? I love to walk and I have been missing it, so with temp. in the teens, I got out and walked a mile or more. Brrrrrrrr, I like to have never got this old body of mine thawed out! It will probarbly be awhile before I try that again..:D

:snow:

Funny LindaH!!! I can picture that right now.... and i dont think i will try it! I have to get out today though and get some errands done, so i will be in and out of the cold a little. I just woke up (hehe) and havent started drinking more water yet. I cant find my cup!!! Fixin to go look for it though. Have you ever heard of someone getting attached to a cup? Hmmmm....
Planning to stop and get subway while im out too. I sure hope my truck will go in the right direction today!

Ok, i feel better today. I had chicken for super instead of fastfood and it really satisfied me alot more than any taco or pizza! I ventured into the bathroom and stepped on the scale. Its at 172 now. So, a loss of 2 pounds. I bought groceries too! Finally!!! I went for a totally different reason, and ended up getting a cart full! I had to buy some stuff for me to eat afterall and stuff for my daughter. She is so picky! Just like her momma!!! I have always bought whole milk, but tonight i bought 2%. Everyone griped at me for getting it, and now im starting to wonder if i should stick to the whole milk or make them get used to it. Ive heard 2% is about the same as whole milk and women and children need the vitamins in whole milk. Oh well! I wont keep blabbering about milk!
I am starting to get hungry throughout the day now. I wonder if its because i have been cutting back and trying to eat better foods. I figure bad foods sit and rot in your system and good foods are used and burned. The rotting part doesnt sound good!
Well, gotta go to bed now. She is actually asleep for a change!

Hi Snoopy,
You are doing so great!!! 2 lbs is wonderful! Congratulations!!!!!
I only use 2% milk and I really like it. I really can't tell the difference anymore tastewise. I think your family will get used to it quicker than you think. I lived with my little brother when I first started buying it...he grumbled and complained too but he is still buying it for himself...lol!!!
Have a wonderful sunday!!


Vickie:coach: :dn

Well, still havent started that great diet yet. I cant seem to motivate myself enough to start eating healthier and exercise. I know i will get there eventually though. I have been doing some researching on web about different diets. So many of them contradict one another! I think i like BFL the best. There are foods on there i actually like! WOW! I am a meat, potato, and corn person, and on this one i can have those! I have also been looking for exercise videos on ebay. I have wanted the firm videos with the fanny lifter ever since i seen it on an infomercial. They are expensive even on ebay! Well, back to drinking my water and surfing net!

I'm back down to 170 again!!! I cant believe it cause i really binged yesterday and late last night. I am fixin to make mac and cheese for my daughter. She is totally hooked on it! I like it too. Simple to make and only takes a couple of minutes. I wish all meals were like that. Well, ill post again in a little while.

Hi Snoopy,
Stopping in to say hi and congratulate you AGAIN!!! :D You are awesome and doing great!!!!

keep up the good work!!!



Vickie:coach: :dn

Thanks vickilyn! I am starting to feel alot better. I actually stuck to my eating plan today. Woohoo! I am fixin to go to fitday and calculate it up and see how i did. I know i did good though. My daughter gave me quite a scare last night. She was playing behind me while i was watching bf on computer, and she taps my leg and i look and she has something she was chomping on in her mouth and grinning. Not even a second later she started choking. I guess it went to the back of her mouth cause i couldnt see it when i tried to look in. I managed to open her mouth and seen a toy fish and pulled it out right when she started vomiting. I have never been so scared in my life. But, i handled it ok. I was calm so she wouldnt get all worked up about it. I am cpr certified and you never think you will ever have to use it, but i am sure glad i went for training. I think thats what made the difference cause i dont even remember most of it, just what i was told i did. I cant stop thinking about it though. I didnt sleep a wink last night cause i couldnt stop worrying about it. Well, gotta go!

I just went to walmart and bought the firm exercise dvd's. I have always been interested in them ever since i seen them on the informercial. I am fixin to pop one in and watch it first to see if i will like it. I am going to send off for the fanny lifter if i do like it.

Hi Snoopy,
Hope you like your exercise DVD's. I went to our local walmarts looking for some exercise dvds and was very disappointed in the selection. I will have to visit the mall someday soon and see if the big entertainment stores can help me out. I want leslie sansones walking dvds and maybe some of the FIRM videos. Until then, its just me and Richard Simmons, LOL!!!!

Have a great Tuesday!!!!!


Vickie:coach: :dn

I agree with you on walmart. I was very disappointed with the selection also. I ended up finding the firm videos and the walking videos on a four way infront of the electronics department. They were on the very bottom and covered up by price tags hanging down over them. You figure with it being so cold they would display those front and center! Alot of people so their tapes when they dont want to get outside. I have heard nothing but good reviews on the firm tapes, but the walking tapes i have heard both good and bad. I found reviews on them in a forum on an exercise site. I also had a friend who was a big fan of richard simmons and did his tapes every day. I dont have alot of room in my house, so i couldnt do the simmons tapes. I heard you have to move around alot and have enough room. The firm tapes i can do. They pretty much stay around the fanny lifter the whole time. Let me know how tape hunting goes!
I weighed myself today and i am still at 170. At least it didnt go up! I didnt do too bad eating today. I kinda binged for supper though. That is one of my weaknesses. I am hoping tomorrow goes better eating wise.

Heya Snoopy! Nice to hear you like the Firm tapes.. I don't have any of those yet. I do however have the Simmons tapes and you don't have to move around you can do all his moves right in front of your tv.. it's optional to move in different directions.. oh you'll want enough space to take a couple of steps from side to side but I would say rent one.. check it out.. he's a character! You can't help but smile.. :dn well have some fun.. just checking in :) Have an awesome day!:wave: And good for you on switching to 2% .. I challenge you to try the skim deluxe.. it's fortified with stuff and I swear it tastes the same as 2%.. don't get nonfat that tastes like water.. but check it out skim deluxe.. you already have the 2% for the rest of the house.. just try it. I'm betting you will love the stuff! Anyway, good save on catching your daughter with the toy.. I think it was fate!!! :hug: Don't you give up!

Snoopy, About the antidepressants I urge you to go see your doctor. I have so been there wanting to go cold turkey with out any help but I only gained more weight as the depression firmly took hold. If you are happier you are more likely to get out there and do what you need to do to lose the weight. It's not a matter of one thing or another it's a combination of everything, making better meal choices, getting more excercise, trying to get good nutrition... etc. And if you are convinced that those drugs weren't helping but making things worse discuss it with your doctor and she may have a better solution.. anyway whatever you do please try to pay attention to how your decisions affect your mind/body and take care of you cuz you deserve to be happy and healthy.. ok I'll get off my :sb just telling ya you aren't alone out there and even though we have never met I CARE!:gflower: :hug: :hug:

Thanks bettyboop. I really appreciate your concern and advise. Which simmons tapes dont require alot of jumping around? My friend said all of hers required alot of moving around the room. She only has 5 of them, and of course there are alot more out there! I havent gotten off my bottom and actually tried my firm tapes. I have only watched them to get used to the combinations and see how difficult they would be. I plan on starting them by this weekend. We'll see though.....
I had another panic attack the other night. Dont know why they only come when i am relaxed and finally ready to go to bed. Well, i used to get them alot even during the day, but now only when i relax or go to bed. I am getting better at preventing them from getting out of hand, but i was worried about this last one. I almost blacked out. Havent had one like that in a while. I think its a combination of worrying about my weight loss and bills. Money is REALLY tight right now, bill collectors calling 7 times a day now. The only bill collector that is calling is the one where my friend borrowed money for her wedding. Yes i was stupid and used a credit card. I thought they could pay me back pretty quickly, cause they both had good jobs, but since he has lost 3 jobs and they havent paid in three months. Oh well... this month is almost over and i know they will pay with their tax money. I know that is one of the reasons i stress out so much.
The antidepressants helped for a while, but they seem to not have any affect anymore. I dont know if i need another kind or a stronger dose. I dont want a stronger dose. I hate pills and fear they do more harm than good. I read the side affects and dont like them one bit. I plan on going to the doctor after i get my taxes back, that way i can pay him off first. I owe a pretty big bill.
I have been also hurting in my abdomen for the past day. It feels like alot of pressure, almost like i could be compacted, but i have been pretty regular. It started on one side where my overies are, then progressed to the whole area around my uterous. It doesnt feel like cramps at all. Im gonna give it another day and if it doesnt let up im gonna go to the doctor.
My mom also has me worried. She almost blacked out this morning. She has alot of stuff starting to go wrong with her. She has the beginning stages of osteo-something... cant remember whole word. Bone thinning basicly. We both have fibroid mialgia. Cant spell that one either. And now she thinks she is starting to get diabeties. She has to eat at certian times during the day or else she gets pretty sick and lightheaded. Her spell this morning made her vision go almost totally black, she started sweating after laying down in the hall, and barely made it back to bed. After she ate she felt a little better. I had a bad dream about her dying cause of something she knew she had wrong with her and never went to the doctor about. Kinda scares me. Ok, scares me alot. She is my only friend here i got. My best friend.
Well, enough for now. Ive typed too much. I could go on for ages! I will post again later.

Well, i have been doing pretty good today with my eating. Havent ate much though. At least i havent binged. I am still at 170. Thats ok with me!! I dont want to see the number get any higher though!!! Dunno on what i am gonna eat for supper. Prolly fix chicken or something. My mom made homemade soup yesterday. Delicious! I limited myself to only one bowl. YEAH!!! I wanted more but contolled myself. I was surprisingly full too. I think it is starting to get a little easier on portion sizes. I used to eat a whole medium pizza by my self without stopping or feeling guilty. I would be so sick if i did that now. My pains have finally stopped. Dont know what they were all about though. The pressure just finally stopped after i woke up. Hmmmmm....

I ate way too much last night. Couldnt stop once i got started either. Had pizza, cinna dots, a biscut, 2 hot cocoas, and i forget what else if anything. i know i demolished at least half a large pizza. I havent ate anything today. Only had a glass of chocolate milk, which isnt good i know. I have slept all day. I have a hard time sleeping at night, so i end up napping all day. Dunno why. I have tried to break the cycle, but no luck yet.