Some days I get so depressed about the way I look anymore. I hate taking showers because I see myself naked. I no longer initiate sex with my husband because I can't stand him to see me naked. I know I need to exercise, but I'm so big I don't think it will help so I sit and eat and cry. What should I do? I have little money so no gym membership (like I'd go anyway). I feel utterly and completely hopeless. I don't know waht else to do but not come out of my house ever again. Now doesn't that sound pathetic?

Hi Tykie,
I think you've come to the right place for advise and support. If you read through the treads you'll find that you're not alone in your feelings, and maybe your first step would be to make a commitment to check in here when you need support. We all just take it a day at a time, and a step at a time, and in the buddy section you can request a personal buddy, or I would like to invite you to join our group in the buddy section. We're called the Awsome Accountables and we just chat and try to keep each other motivated. We start a new thread each week.

Hi Tykie,

I do know how you feel, I use to feel much the same way. What made me feel better about my body wasn't just losing weight, but making it stronger and fitter. Even when I was heavier than you I had a pretty good feeling about my body because I was exercising and your body really does change for the positive when you get it moving. I remember being 290lbs and feeling more fit than I'd ever felt in my life! I could do 1 hour of hard cardio followed by another hour of weight lifting and to me THIS was more important than the fact I was still fat.
We should learn to value our body for more than looks. Sure, losing the weight is the ultimate goal, but everything you accomplish along the way to that goal is just as important if not more.
So by just getting yourself moving (walking, exercise videos, treadmill, dancing around the house, whatever) you'll start to make some positive changes and you'll begin to see those changes. The healthier your body gets, and the stronger it gets, the better you'll feel about it, flat belly or not! Exercise does so much more for us than just weight loss, you'll see your self esteem rising big time as you're able to do more and more with less effort.
So start small, maybe cut back in common sense ways like not adding fats to food, not frying in oil/lard, give up "junk" food and replace it with fruits, give up soda and replace it with water. Just small dietary changes that won't hurt you, but will help you on the road to figuring out how you want to eat. There are many plans, but most have the same foundation, so read through the threads and see if something clicks for you. But get moving, whatever you decide as a form of exercise is better than sitting still. :)

And as the pounds begin to come off, find something about your body to appreciate. It may not be perfect to you, but we are more than an "hourglass" figure, and having a strong, fit body is much more important than "do I curve in the right places!?"

In the words of my father: "I use to complain about having no shoes~until I saw a man with no feet!"

So love yourself and your body, regardless of the temporary packaging! :)

Donna

Hi Tykiej!!:wave:

Welcome to DT!! Congratulations :cheers: on making the first step to helping yourself!!

I agree with gettinfit about exercise. You don't have to join an expensive gym. Walk round the house. Do you have a staircase? walk up and down the stairs. If you don't like to go out, how about taking an early morning or late evening walk? Walking is one of the best exercises for burning cals. You will find too that after a couple of weeks you'll start to feel better about yourself and won't be afraid to go out. Treat yourself to a luxury bath, put on a little makeup, nothing heavy, and try and do your hair up a little different. Give yourself a manicure. All these things will make you feel better about yourself. Every time you think something negative about yourself, find five things to say that are positive. You are a lovely person. It's whats on the inside that matters right now. Do you have children? Do you know what qualities are involved in raising them? Of course you do. You are also a loving wife. It's not easy to run a household especially if you work too. You have all the Qualities needed for all these things. I have all the bodily problems you have but I am working on that, it takes time. But I know I am a wonderful person and so are you. Rome wasn't built in a day! Find an eating plan that suits your needs, it may take time but how long did it take to get where you are now? It took me 25 years!!! so if it takes 2-3 years to get it off then that's fine by me. I know I can come here anytime for the support I need. And so can you. Now tell yourself you ARE worth it!! And you ARE a beautiful person!! And keep saying it. :D

Hi Tykie
You don't need to have money to lose weight, Like Donna said, Just get yourself moving, Walking, dancing around the house, running up and down the stairs, they all cost nothing and burn off as many calories as you do working out at the gym.
You just need to start, there are so many people here who are all ready to motivate you and willing to offer so much advice on losing weight, maintaining weight loss and having a positive outlook on life.
Ellie

TykieJ:

Hi :wave: and welcome to Diettalk. This is a awesome site for getting support and the help you need. Every morning there is a motivation chat at 9am EST. The people in there are totally awesome for advice and getting your day going in a postive way.
Glad to see you found the journal section here. I have kept a journal since I started last January and find it keeps me accountable.
And yes I do know how your feeling about your body. I felt the same way so many times. There is no magic pill that will transform you overnight it will take dedication and hard work on your part but I know you can do this. And the biggest reward is your feeling of accomplishment. Not to mention all the compliments you will soon start receiving:D
As for not being able to afford exercise equipment or a gym membership. Have you ever thought of going to a second hand store, like Good Will. I bought a treadmill, stair stepper , rowing machine and exerglider all for 40 dollars. Plus trust me they have tons of exercise videos for about a dollar each. I started off walking like many do here. It's the cheapest form of exercise going. And when I first started I could barely make it around the block. Now I walk all the time. Fresh air and exercise all for nothing.now that's my kind of price:)
If there is anything I can do for you please PM me and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
Once again welcome to Diettalk.

Judy2:dn

Tykie...

I too do not like the way I look...I don't even like to have my pictures taken and when my hubby gets me in them I look at them and wonder how I could have let myself go like this and with those thoughts it gets me depressed and down to the point that I just want to give up. It does not help when my hubby brings home soda thinking he is being nice. For the last few days I have not been on here so I have lost all sense of control and I do not like it...but with me not being here we went a got a membership at the LA Zoo so I drive there and walk get exercise (it's alot of UP HILL walking) and my daughter gets to play in the playground. Maybe get a membership to your zoo and go there a couple of times a week. Hope this suggestion helps.

Also you could check out some exercise videos from the library and be a star in your own living room.

Hello, Tykie,
I also agree with getnfit as well..I know for me that at first, even though I couldnt see visible results right away with what I was doing, I still felt good about doing it because I Knew in time I would see the results...Even the small ones get you motivated to keep going and know that you are doing it for you and no one else helps...The positive feedback that you will get in the end result will be well worth it. It is hard and you have to want to make the adjustments for yourself to better yourself. If you want it bad enough you will make the dedications..In time...Just do what you can for now that will help you to feel better about whatever you are doing to help you with the weight loss and do it for your overall health..For me, my motivation is: Now that I am 32, I know that if I let my body....It will slow down(Metabolism) because of age, and later it will be sooo much harder to get the weight off later so I am trying to get it off now so that I will be able to maintain the weight where I want to be..It will be easier for me then, than for now and that keeps me going strong everyday!! No matter what...And I know that it won't always be perfect because I will slip up every now and then but it will be ok in the long run..I was really hard on myself,pushing myself in the beginning but with time, I realized I was still gonna get there eventually if I was just as patient so now I am very comfortable with that and happy with the results that I am getting with my body...Like for instance...My fat is gettting more flabby and I know that in time it will shrink away, but in time....not overnite...It still makes me feel good and keeps me going...I am also doing this for my health. I WANT' to be a healthy person... So maybe this is of some help to you...I know how you feel and have been there....Dont let your emotions have their way with you...You have your way with them instead and think positive!!! Good luck..