Don't get me wrong. I'm very secure in my relationship with my boyfriend of eight years. But he's a cutie-pie hunk muffin. And I.....am 60 lbs overwight, dress like a new mommy (sweats, everything tent-baggy, no make-up, hair in bun.) He works in a bike shop, and I know he has his little fan club of tight-body triathlete-bunnies. My insecurity is, if they were to see me, would they think, "what's he see in her?"---I know my inner qualities, I know all the myriad reasons he loves me, it's not about that. It's simply my insecurity of other superficial people going.."He could do better..."---anybody else with me on this?

Jessica boy oh boy I feel you.

My hubby of 13 years this April 7th works in a stereo store (sells car stereos, alarms, etc...) will any ways he use to work at a store where there was a woman there and news had it she would pleasure any guy in the place all they had to do is ask. I knew her and I felt a little weird anytime I went there. Now he is in another store down in the RICHIE area Palos Verde...kinda like the Beverly Hills of Long Beach, CA...I hear all the time of a woman coming into the store in a micro mini skirt and showing everything under her skirt. I do get a little insecure and FEAR that one day he might come home and tell me that he wants to leave me. When he goes to a bachelor party and they go to a strip place I urge him to go...I torment myself every time but I have allowed myself to play this game with my weight and that it does not bother me if he is lusting over a striper (BUT IT REALLY DOES).

I never wear make up, I wear the same color shorts and shirts (of course I wash them), and my hair (god awful) is straight long and I wear it up in a pony tail it's so heavy that I end up getting a headache...I figured out my hair has not been cut in 2 1/2 years.

Boy putting this out here...and I have never told anyone that I fear this with my hubby, everyone thinks that I am very secured in my marriage for me to say go to the strip place with your buddies...but no one knows this but now everyone here does. I guess my weight makes me more insecure then I was letting on...and only I can lose it myself and I guess now is good as time as any.

WOW thank you for bringing this up Jessica...it made me think!!!

I am not that much overwieght, but I can't even get a boyfriend, (or keep one for very long), a cute or not so cute one. Not only are my looks not good enough for me to be attractive to men, I don't think my intelligence or personality are anywhere near good enough either.

If I did have a cute one, I would worry all the time that they would leave me, but that wouldn't be unfounded because they always do leave me eventually.

I have a question for you ladies if this is the way you really feel................why don't you change something about the way you look if .........and this is my take from you you have said...... you don't like the way you present yourself to your husband/boyfriend? Some things are easy to change! Get a new stylish haircut, buy a new outfit in a becoming color that has style, wear makeup (i'm sure you own some!), paint your anils and dab on the perfume. GIVE THEM A REASON NOT TO STRAY! You might think, i just don't have the energy or i'm not in the mood to do that, or any of the other excuses we give ourselves (i am including myself in this group, by the way!). if they are as important to our lives as we think they are, then shouldn't we go out of our way to make them happy? i know i want my hubby to go out of his way to make me happy! i know i want him to do little things to make me feel special. in my case, its not what he does about his looks that are the special little things.....far from it!
but the point is, if that is bothering you (me!) then fix it! if you think that taking an interest in your looks MIGHT make him happy.......then...........whats the problem? I ask myself that a lot!? Am I saving my makeup for something else? someone else? I don't think so! lol

Eball

To go buy an outfit, do the nails, get a hair cut/style it takes money and my family is barely getting by...my hubby works 5 - 6 days a week (depending if I need money to make a bill). The makeup I do own is so old I would not trust wearing it.

VERY RARE occasions I might let my hair down and do something with it and get a little more dresser but that is few and far between.

I am trying to do something about my weight by drinking more water, eating healthier, and getting in exercise other then chasing my 2 year old. There are times that things get overwhelming for me and I begin to get into a funk that seems that I will never get out of until I blow my top.

I will take your suggestions into consideration and work on my little insecurities.

I am with Eball.

Iblinda I know beauty products cost but I think you are making excuse.

For example, smiles are free. I know when I feel down I don't smile. Are you smiling.

Also conversation is free. Do you go around talking about the future or something you read in the paper with your man. Or are you going around putting yourself down and tell him off if you contradict himself. It seems to me. If you had some positive attitude at home and let your great qualities shine through more he would want to go to the strip club less.

Also if he got money to throw at strange women. He can come home and through money at you so you can get new outfits, haircuts, and makeup.

Raven McCoy ,

I think negative attitude keeps good boyfriends away. I use to never small and was always mean to people in high school and college. Now that I am in the work force I have had time to work on me an not work on home work. What I found out was that it is not my weight that keeps people away. Its my negativity. I have dropped my negativity and I have a better quality of friends and a great new boyfriend.

I know if he left me it would be a reflection on his character and not my personality or beauty level ( inner or outer).

If you can't treat yourself well, you cannot show people how to treat you.

WEll you gals have learned haven't you?

I figured out a long time ago that on DT putting yourself out there like this and admiting insecurities is really just an invitation for advice and for telling you your the problem. I guess thats the nature of being on the internet. I learned to keep my mouth shut about 3 months in.

BTW I do know exactly what you are saying and I have a husband that is healthy and does not gain weight easily. It is difficult to get to where you want to be. And no amount of makeup or haircut is going to make me comfortable.. stripped down naked with the lights on till I get this weight off. Thats just the truth of it.

eball--my boyfriend hates me in makeup, likes my hair long (I unleash it every now and again!!), and like Linda, new clothes take money, which we are trying to save to enable me to continue staying at home w/ the wee one(not to mention, I'm resistant ot buying new clothes in this size, because I'm not gonna be here long!!). I'm on the right track, going to the gym, watching my diet, etc... and I know my inner qualites are still intact and my relationship is sound, I just have occasional twinges of "what are other people thinking?" and was interested in feedback.
Raven....are you ready for a lecture? You....are....fine.
Here's a story for you--when I was 22 my husband of three months parachuted into power lines and died. I was so lonely I thought I'd die. Before him, I could count my boyfriends on half of one hand. After he died I kinda went overboard looking for someone...anyone...to fill that void. I found a couple of real losers and I assumed it was my fault cuz I was too ugly, too fat, too dumb. (sound familiar?) But guess what--my weaknesses didn't make them what they were--my weaknesses made me susceptible to JERKS!! (Desperation measures) Soooooo my advice (whether you want it or not, you get it!:) ) is--work on you. Therapy helped me alot, I know that's not possible for everyone, and I had to go through three therapists before I "clicked" with one--and anti depressants helped me, as well, since my core self-esteem issues stemmed from depression. However, antidepressants did some bad stuff for me as well. I also recommend that you exercize, join a gym, get involved in something (anything) It may take a while before you acclimate--my own insecurities keep me from being real open and meeting people quickly--but before long you'll find you feel like you're part of something and you won't have time to worry about men. Or you'll meet someone as a result of your involvement (but pleeeaaase don't join something to meet a guy--the whole point is to learn to become INDEPENDENT!!!!, and to like your own company)
I'm not a big new-age type who says, "write self actualizing mantras on your mirror so you see them first thing" (like, I am worthy, I am a beautiful being, I like myself...) --but it works for some people. If you need an ear, I'm here for you--Just do me a huge favor and REALLY TRY to stop the self-defeating talk!! You'll be much happier when you do!!

okay. I'm off my soapbox now :D

Good thoughts to all--

thanks for sounding off!!!

Jess

I've been married for 10 yrs and don't have the insecurities of my husband leaving me, but I certainly understand how you guys feel because I have felt that way with boyfriend in the past( and I was NOT overweight then ). I think not having money to buy makeup and a new outfit is a very valid reason...the bill have to be paid , not everyone has the luxury of "extra" cash. You girls are trying to better you looks.....your losing weight and becoming healthier. Which will lead to better self-esteem and that right there is going to make you look and feel more attractive!

Good Luck
Cyndi %%-

Cj--I guess there's as much positive as there is negative w/ this format... I take the good, toss the rest (like eball, I know my relationship is strong!!)

Lisad

No what I said is not an excuse some of us are not as fortunate to have money...I stay home to raise our daughter and I am very lucky I am able to. I rob peter to pay Paul and so on...my hubby does not go to the strip places UNLESS it's for a friends bachelor party and that is VERY VERY RARE...he does not think about going because he knows of our financial situation and seeing those women is not a big deal to him.

Yes I smile all the time, I help people that need help, I converse with my hubby about something I read or did...I know my inner qualities shine and my hubby loves me for them. I am insecure of my weight not my hubby he just wants to see me comfortable with myself and not to compare me with anyone else.

CJ you are right I did put myself out there...here I was thinking that I was holding something in and to release it made me feel relief...then to come back and read the posting from Lisad was a slap in the face. WOW reality check for me...I prob'ly wont' say anything about my insecurities again.

Linda--I think Lisa miight have spoken...out of turn. I understood where you were coming from--in fact, I broght you to that place!! I think it's important for me to sound off on some..more difficult topics, part of the beauty of diettalk is to say, I feel this way and have someone else go, Yeah, me too!-- My intention was not, "I look like crap anf I 'm afraid my boyfriend's a cheatin' fool" (that's next week's Sally Jesse!!)--unfortunately, sometimes responses are less thought out than what we'd hope for. Please don't stop allowing yourself the relief getting support just for fear that someone might misconstrue your thoughts-- Like I said earlier, take the good (sometimes you have to search for it!!) and toss the rest!!
Take care--

Jess

Thanks Jessica...I am glad you did start this thread, in fact after I posted about my insecurities it made me realize that my marriage is all good it's me that has the problem and I need to take care of it myself. I am the kind of person that holds things in until I blow my top and I spill over with emotion.

My husband loves me and what I have on the inside...I know he will not cheat on me...heck he'd never find someone to put up with his butt. Our marriage has had many ups and downs and has been put through many tests...and when I married my husband I married his past and trust me when you marry someone with a past you take on that past too.

I am sure Lisa meant well...there is other reasons that I CHOOSE not to wear make up...but I can get cleaned up and look good when we do go out (that's VERY RARE now a days), I can also go get my hair cut and my nails done (need to work it in the budget), clothes I can look for something on clearance (still need to fix the budget for it).

It's kinda like when you are comfortable within your relationship you kinda slack off and sorta forget what attracted you to each other. I know when I met my husband I was A LOT thinner and little more adventurous and my husband was thinner him self, but what really attracted me to him was his premature gray...he looked very handsome with his gray and black (salt & pepper)...we clicked, laughed, talked, and he called out of the blue to see if I made it home. We met at a photo shot that a friend of mine attended.

I will post on threads with my insecurities when the thread is right and I will have to accept the responses I get...one thing I have found is holding in what you are really feeling can only sabotage your efforts to lose weight, go to school, or anything that will better you.

Right on!!

Keep with it--

Jess

i think you are very brave to be so honest.
Its easy for people to sit back and say get over it and get your hair done and slap on some makeup. those people dont get that this is not really a physical issue its an emotional one.
When i feel my insecurities flaring up no amount of makeup etc is going to fix that. i remind myself that i am a great person with so many good qualities and my partner knows that. when i think logically about it i know that its my insecurity and not anything my husband has done and i get over it.
i think the key is loving yourself and not letting those negative voices make you feel insecure.
hugs bell :)

Bell

You are so right...I would normally clam up and not speak again. I am learning that (my hubby hates) I hold onto things that need to be let go but I don't and when I get tired I blow!!!

I have a b-day party Saturday to attend what better excuse to go buy a new outfit...went yesterday and did not find anything I liked. I shop at a store called Catherines (pricey) they have several stores around me just need to find a cute pair of shorts...I cannot stand wearing pants.

Let you know how I pan out today on my search.

Originally posted by IbLinda
Lisad

No what I said is not an excuse some of us are not as fortunate to have money...I stay home to raise our daughter and I am very lucky I am able to. I rob peter to pay Paul and so on...my hubby does not go to the strip places UNLESS it's for a friends bachelor party and that is VERY VERY RARE...he does not think about going because he knows of our financial situation and seeing those women is not a big deal to him.

IbLinda, I am so glad you aren't making excuses for yourself.

Originally posted by IbLinda

Yes I smile all the time, I help people that need help, I converse with my hubby about something I read or did...I know my inner qualities shine and my hubby loves me for them. I am insecure of my weight not my hubby he just wants to see me comfortable with myself and not to compare me with anyone else.

I am glad you smile and you are keeping a positive attitude while you are in the weight loss transition.

Originally posted by IbLinda

CJ you are right I did put myself out there...here I was thinking that I was holding something in and to release it made me feel relief...then to come back and read the posting from Lisad was a slap in the face. WOW reality check for me...I prob'ly wont' say anything about my insecurities again.

CJ is right. You did put yourself out there. Yet, I don't think it was a bad thing.

I am sorry you felt my post was a slap in the face. I felt when I posted. I shared my experiences to even if it wasn't your experience out there.

Originally posted by IbLinda

I am sure Lisa meant well...there is other reasons that I CHOOSE not to wear make up...but I can get cleaned up and look good when we do go out (that's VERY RARE now a days), I can also go get my hair cut and my nails done (need to work it in the budget), clothes I can look for something on clearance (still need to fix the budget for it).

I am sorry you felt my post was a slap in the face. I do mean well. I felt when I posted. I shared my experiences too, even if it wasn't your experience.

I don't wear make up either. I agree makeup and a new wardobe will not solve personal insecuities. But I know for me. Looking nice with lotioned skin, nice outfit and cute hair. Will get me out a slight funk. I think other people feel that way also. They just didn't post on this thread.

Originally posted by jessica

Linda--I think Lisa miight have spoken...out of turn. I understood where you were coming from--in fact, I broght you to that place!! I think it's important for me to sound off on some..more difficult topics, part of the beauty of diettalk is to say, I feel this way and have someone else go, Yeah, me too!-- My intention was not, "I look like crap anf I 'm afraid my boyfriend's a cheatin' fool" (that's next week's Sally Jesse!!)--unfortunately, sometimes responses are less thought out than what we'd hope for. Please don't stop allowing yourself the relief getting support just for fear that someone might misconstrue your thoughts-- Like I said earlier, take the good (sometimes you have to search for it!!) and toss the rest!!
Take care--

Jess


I felt my response was very thought out jessica.

I am glad you post this thread. I feel a lot of people posted who feel the exact same way you and Iblinda feel. I just wasn't one of them. I still think my questions and post was apporarite. Even if you two don't want to take the advice I gave. It is your business. I am not offend. I get tons and give tons of advice around here. I take some, I leave some. I hope everyone on www.diettalk.com does the same.

Good luck to the both of you and I am glad you have this theard to find people like you. I am glad I read this post because this is not my problem and I now know I am a luck person. Since there are other people feeling this way. I never want to feel insecure because I gained weight or lost weight.

I'm sorry I misunderstood your intent, Lisa--I now understand your meaning, and why you might have said what you did. However, I still feel like you took what you thought our meaning was and sort of...ran with it. My boyfriend loves the way I look(though he'd consider it a bonus if there was less of me!!). I have a great self-esteem. I just get a funny little negative voice invading my thoughts every now and again, like the one bell talks about. But thanks for your input!

Lisa & Jessica

Before this gets heated lets stop!!! It's all good, I shared a little of me and I took in advice, I have to learn to accept any advice that is given to me and not to take offense to things when I do share something about my weight loss or my relationship with my husband...everyone here is GREAT people and I would not return if I really felt that I was not getting the support that I came to DT for.

Lisa

I admit when I read your post I thought it was strong and at first I did take offense to it BUT it also at the same time made me rethink of how I am at home...meaning my hair, clothes, nails, and my house keeping it cleaned and chasing my 2 year old. I guess as the old saying goes the truth hurts and it hurt a little but I am over it and moving on...and I would hope that you will give your advice to me. Your advice is great and like I just said you helped me open my eyes of HOW I can change me to make me feel better even if it's to curl my hair or wear something that has been put in the back of the closet. It's the little things that I can change and it won't cost me much if anything.

Thank you again.

You know gals DT really is an incredibly friendly place as far as BB web boards go. Especially considering the topic of weightloss can be so emotional.

I think you were incredibly mature Linda and jess to handle things like you have. This thread could be really a useful place to talk about our insecurities without being judged. Maybe that is asking to much. I don't know. I remember when I first started riding my bike and walking. I only road at night because I didn't want everyone to drive by and think I was this scary fat b****ch on a bike. I also walked at night for the same reason. My husband bought me a really cute spandex biking outfit that just about made me bawl at the thought of wearing it but out of love I wore it and pretended I OWNED IT. You know sometimes thats what we have to do .

We have to fake it till we make it. Lets turn this thread to safer waters.

CJ

I agree...like I said everyone here at DT are GREAT people and I for one do not want to hurt anyone's feelings. So lets turn this thread to safer waters.

CJ--too funny, the bike outfit/riding at night thing --I still haven't gone out in public on my bike because I'm afraid of "wide load" comments- ---well, now, not so much fear of comments as weather. Before, it was fear of comments/ insecurities. But as soon as weather allows, I'M THERE!!!

When I was in 5th grade, I remember this evil child telling me at the lunch table FULL of people.."Chow down wide load". Of course she was popular and skinny.

Too bad she dropped out of school in 8th grade cuz she got pregnant! HA!

sorry.

Oh....my...
Kids like that should just be shot on sight!! But, call it Karmic retribution, call it whatever, she got hers!! I think it's too bad that, as a bigger person, people make judgements about what you're eating, what's in your shopping cart, etc. But no one would ever dream of telling a skinny person, "should you be eating that crap?" But still, it's those kinds of nasty people who shape the views society has, which in turn shapes our opinions of ourselves... Sucks, don't it?

I'm probably off topic but I'll just throw in my 2 cents any way... As a stay at home mom of 3 I don't get all dolled up to clean the house all day with the baby spitting up on me, doing dishes, and laundry etc. It's just more comfortable and practical to wear sweats and why bother put on make-up for "him" when he comes home at bed time from his work?? Some days I don't think I look good enough to go to the bank or walk to the mail box for that matter. I guess it is a good reminder that we matter and some times it does feel better to just take care of yourself for you and it is probably nice for "him" to look a little nicer once in awhile.

Every once in awhile I'll do "spa day" I hop in the jacuzzi tub, make a hot cup of tea, light a few candles, and relax in a bubble bath. I give myself a facial, do my nails, put on perfume, do my hair and make-up etc.

Of course when we gets home he always asks suspiciously... Where are you going?8-| LOL

It just feel good to take care of yourself sometimes and it's nice when he notices too.

Tammy it's funny you mention...he says "where are you going?". My hubby does the exact same thing if I put something on that I have not woren for a while, let my hair down and put a little mascara on...wow it's funny how men think a like without knowing each other.

I'd love to be able to lock my bathroom doors (while my hubby is home) so I can enjoy and nice hot bubble bath, candles, and soft music...awe man I can just imagine it now. I cannot sit down without my daughter (2 yrs. old) climbing up on me...heck I try going to the store without her and leaving her with my hubby she has a major cow. Tammy your lucky you get a little "spa day".

Linda, I know how you feel. My two girls are 9 and 4, if I didn't lock the door they'd be in there with me. I also have a 5 month old baby, so I don't always have time to take care of me. I took a bath and took the time to shave while he had his nap this afternoon. My bf own his own business so he some times comes home for lunch and he offered to keep an eye on the two little ones today so that I could take a hot bath and relax. This thread was a good reminder to me that we need to do things for overselves and be good to ourselves.

It is so easy for me to say I don't want to buy new clothes right now because I am not the size I want to be. Every once in awhile I'll remind myself that I don't have to earn the right to be here. I have the "boutique closet". I own sizes ranging from 5 to 16 and a small "maternity section". Clothes are different every season. I buy a few nice things in the size that I am in and it feels nice to have a new outfit once in awhile. I think that some times you feel better about yourself when you look better.

As far as a man straying goes I think it takes a certain level of maturity, respect, commitment, communication about needs etc. I don't look the way I did 15 years and 3 kids ago. I was 107 at 19. I am about 80 pounds more than that now. Our relationship has matured and grown. We will grow old together because we want to be together. There will always be someone thinner, younger, prettier, richer, smarter, etc. I know that he loves me for me. He takes care of me and the kids when I am sick or just need a break. We argue... we don't agree on everything, but I know that no matter what size that I am he loves me for me and just wants me to be happy no matter what size I am.

My true self, the core person, the things about me that make me me (that will never change) is who I am. This is the person that he knows and loves. I feel security in that. My body is only a shell.

WOW Tammy...you have a great guy.

I am able to stay home to raise our daughter BUT when I am sick I still have to get up to clean, watch her, run errands, and pay the bills...I don't get a break and if I ask then you'd think I had just asked for the world. DON'T get me wrong he loves our daughter and he will at times VERY RARE he will take her to the store or down to his moms. Now that she is getting older he seems to do a little more with her.

I have been with my hubby for 14 years (married 13) we have had many ups and a few downs...we seperated a couple of times and he always comes back to me so we can work things out. I love him and I would not give him up for anything. I know he loves me no matter my size he has always looked at my inner beauty and not just my shell. He does not ask for much except to have the house picked up and our daughter taken care of...heck he works 10+ hours then comes home and cooks dinner.

This thread makes me realize that I want to do this for me but I know he would benefit :D :o from it too. In order to afford the cute little fashions I am going to start putting away $1.00 for every pound I lose.

tammy, well said; linda--great goal. I'd be inclined to ask honey to put something into the pot, like, see my dollar and raise me? My first goal (when I'm at 195 or under for two weeks)is to have a massage. The next one is, when I'm at 175 or under for two weeks, I get $100. FOR ME.. Hair? Clothes? My choice. 'course, by 175 my "real" clothes will finally fit me again (and I hope they're not hopelessly outdated by then!!)--those are just the 14s though-- I "purged" all my skinny clothes, and will purge all my big girl clothes (except for the comfy sweats & things)--for the simple reason that, I don't need my itty bitty size eight things hanging around making me feel bad, and I don't want to have "big" clothes to fall back on.

Jessica

That sounds great too...I figure by the time I drop 50 lbs. I will have that amount saved then I can do the same thing...the cute little fashions will come when I am where I want to be and there for a little while...of course I will buy a few things here and there as the weight comes off. The first thing I am going to do is have my hair done...I need to cover the gray (sad 34 and I have some gray) and I REALLY REALLY need a new style. I am not one to keep things around for long periods of time so once the weight starts to come off my big clothes will go by by too.

cool!!! So what are you gonna do? When are you starting?

Will Jessica I really do not have a plan other then eating healthier and exercising more. With the two combined I hope that will help.

But I now have more reasons to lose this weight. My daughter loves horses...other then mommy and daddy one of her first words was horsey. Everyone says we are in big trouble. But anyways we found a place that rents larger horses for an hour at a time so my husband went to find out the facts and he was told there is a weight limit of 200 - 250 lbs...so now we both will be losing the weight together. :D This ought to be fun.

So now I will have to put away $2.00 - $4.00 a pound only because I know I will have to buy him new clothes too.

Will keep posting how things are going...one good thing is I think my husband is finally getting the picture. We have not had soda in the house for like two weeks now...but he is bringing in Snapple fruit juice drinks, I drink maybe 2 a week...I try to usually drink more water. So I think he will help especially now to head down the right path.

you should browse thru the no diet area--def. sounds like what you're doing!!Keep me posted how things are going! (I'm so glad to hear you're not doing any of the rash or trendy things...)

Good luck!!

Heck no I would not try anything like that...there is no miracle cure or overnight success when dieting just a lot of patience and daily struggles. So I am having to do it naturally...it's funny that the weight just seems to come on fast but it takes forever to take it off.

I will let you know how things go.

...tell me about "coming on so fast"...then again, if I really track my weight gain, it was an ongoing process (not like waking up, "ohmigod, I have a huge butt...")--but 10 here, 10there, 20here... I guess with loss as well, it's gradual like that, but 1 here, 2 there, 1 there...(with a lot of work...)

oh well--good luck!!

Hi Jessica! read your initial posted msg. And i totally have that kinda feeling ALL THE TIME!

Especially when i've seen my bf's ex. She is very slim, pretty, and everything. And his friends and friend's gf and pretty people and it always stress me out when i have to meet them. Especially when i didn't go to the gym that day and i will feel so fat and bloated and lousy.

My bf has only seen me in make up less than 5 times in our 2 years together. i wear the same old shorts and t-shirt at home. I just look so boring and unattractive.

And when he goes out to work in town, i knw he definately meet nicely dressed and pretty women and it does give me lotsa insecurity.

In fact, i've been very honest with him and told him my insecurity and ask him why he gave up his pretty ex for me that kinda things. And he explain all to me. And i really feel much better after that. And whenever the sense of insecurity starts to creep in, i'll think about wat he said to me and it helps.

I hope this will be helpful for you....

thanks, Lynnlynn!! I think we know our men love us for being us--including our looks, but sometimes that nasty little inner negative monkey rears his ugly head...

yap! esp when u had a bad day or when you jus feel so down and lousy....

But most importantly! is that we must know that they love us dearly, no matter how we look :)

...maybe they know something we don't?:D

i don know...but most of the men i've come across aren't as pessimistic as me. They are always cheerful and happy..and they always look at things on the bright side. i'm sure they have their own problems too...

so i guess the secret is to be happy and forgiving to yourself. I am currently reading this self help book on happiness and it says, life is short, it's up to you to make it sweet :)

I want a good looking boyfriend, but think my husband might object. Hee!

:tomato: