Does the way you feel about your body--good or bad--rely on others' feedback? I ask because I found, with myself, I have to work extra hard on telling myself positive things because, though I'm losing and changes are happening, nobody (friends, neighbors) seems to notice!!!???--ALso, I pretty much will ask my boyfriend, "so, do you notice anything yet?" or, "Hey, look at these loose jeans!!" (or, the worst, "am I as big as her??")-- I dunno. Am I alone in needing other people to encourage me along?

Jess: Before I respond to your post let me say, "congratulations on the 4# loss!" and I love the topic ideas you come up with, they're always so interesting!:D

No, you're not alone at all. I do the same thing. I'm always asking my hubby, "so...notice anything different about me?" or "can you see any muscles more clearly now?" or as you said, the worst, "okay~I do look smaller than ..." I know that one is crummy but sometimes I have a hard time judging my size so I compare with what I think is a similar size. (I'll shut up now cause I'm making this worse!)
But nope, you're not alone. I self talk myself all the time and try to say positive things but the mirror doesn't always cooperate.

Donna

thanks you and thank you!! This same four pounds has been off and on, but I'm commiting myself to "off"--if I post the change, it's for good!!I think we tend to not have the ability to be objective about ourselves, so comparison (am I bigger, am I smaller)isn't necessarily a catty thing, sometimes it's a gauge, like the scale.

And you, my dear, have come WAY too far not to see and say positive things!! BRAVO!!

Jessica,
I know exactly what you mean.
I do the same thing. when I first began to loose weight people noticed alittle. And I would ask my hubby am I as big/thin as her?
I would also feel a little disapointed if no one noticed my weightloss. but now im finding out I dont need others approval of how I look to be happy. Iam loosing weight fo myself.

congrats on your weightloss!!!!

Jessica,
I start a diet and two days later, I am asking my hubby, "Am I curvy yet?" lol

Yeah, in one way its nice to be noticed for the acheivements, but doesnt anyone ever feel all tense when someone says something? Like a spotlight is beaming on ya..lol

hmmmm...tense....the other day at the Y, a mommy approached me and commented. I don't know that I was ...tense...so much as fllustered and embarrassed in a pleased sort of way. I just can't wait for the day when I'm in some sort of knock-'em-dead outfit, and people go, WOW! You've lost sooo much weight (I know, that'll probably not happen for a while, but it's yet another thing to put into the "motivate me" file.)

okay, yet another semi-related question--does my clothing affect how people view me? Like, are my friends not noticing because I still wear my sweats and XXL t-shirts? dunno. I wore a fitted t-shirt with some drawstring capris to a group gathering and nobody said ANYTHING. But 'salright. I can see the changes, feel the changes. I can be my own cheerleader inside my head. Still, why are my friends such poopooheads??????????

I don't really need feedback that much. I know I'm losing weight and clothes, etc, are fitting better. I don't need someone else to say it.
If I want my DH to notice something (like my wedding ring fit yesterday for the first time in several years) I stick in under his nose and say "See!" ;)

well, think about it like this. You can have the best NEXT 50 years, or you can wait for later to start your healthy new life... I say start now, and be well on your way by your birthday!! I think the lesson to learn, is that "diets" aren't the answer. Immediate results leave as quick as they come. So, slow and steady wins the race, the work is hard, but the payoff will be sooooo sweet. For me, I've modified my diet, but haven't taken anything out, and I've upped my exercise. ALOT. I think you have all the answers inside, you just have to take a couple of steps each day toward your goal. Simple as that. Don't try to take on the world in a day, make it easy on yourself.

I wish you the best of luck!!

And yeah, I'm like you. I need positive strokes. Constantly. But I guess, if no one else will do it, I will. And I have my friends here--they've never seen me but they notice!! :D

I'd much rather not have anyone say anything period. When my (now ex) b/f commented last month that my face looked slimmer, it made me incredibly uncomfortable. He meant it as a compliment, I know, but it just felt like he really was noticing all the extra weight. :(

I know exactly what you are talking about! LOL! Every time my husband and I uh... get some alone time, I ask, "Are you noticing a difference yet?" He always says the same thing, "I didn't pay attention."
A couple of years ago i lost over 50 lbs. He never said one single word to me about my "new" body. Instead, a friend of his came over to see him and he asked him if he could compliment me, my husband said yes. The friend told me I was looking really good lately and said he could tell i lost alot of weight and to keep it up. That for me was a little -ok alot of- motivation. But my husband not noticing was and is very discouraging.
I need feed back about how my "new" body is progressing. I can't looka t myself and really tell how good I look. I just see what needs to be improved and how much more I need to lose.

I started just counting calories not really thinking that I could lose weight and when it came off, My sister and sister in law always commented, especially when I went to try on some trousers and had to ask my sister to get a smaller pair. But it is nice to have someone notice, Personally I think any definition in our bodies is noticable by us almost immediately, but other people don't see us the way we see ourselves.
Take care
Ellie

Well wanting stokes to the ego and wanting people to notice is ok. Yet, don't put to much focus into it because if you are living for others positive comments. What happens when they give a negative comments? You don't want to be so outer dependent. That a negative comment will send you into depression or a
binge.

Also a husband saying he doesn't notice maybe the best defense if the wife is super sensitive. Saying you like a 50 lb weight loss can be heard as I hated you when you had the 50 lb gain. To avoid an argument stick to the party line of I didn't notice.