Have any of you ever had more than one user name?
I have.

Maybe you know the story....

You're all hyped up for the big diet.

You start out losing fast and feelin' fresh.

You're losin' and losin' and losin'.....

Then you're up a couple of pounds, then down, then up.

After a few days, weeks, or months of the constant dieting you give up and delve into the....chocolate? pasta? bakery-goods galore?

So, you really pack-on the pounds and you stop coming to diettalk and then a few months later you want to come back but you're embarrassed....

So, you create a new e-mail address and a new user name and you go through the same pattern all over again.

And the cycle continues.

So, here I am again. Embarrassed to be more than 20 pounds heavier than when I left.

If I could remember my old password to my first user name I'd probley force myself to use it just to punish myself. But I was going through kind of a really weird time back then so maybe I'll just forget about it.


I can't believe that I'm over 200 hundred pounds!!!

I can't believe that my husband hasn't left me!

I got a new mirror in my bedroom and a few pictures back from my vacation....need I say more?!? :c(

Okay....I'm a size 18 squeezing into a size 16. :eyes:

I need to stop eating!!! Wire my jaw shut! :D


Anybody out there?

I've never really counted calories before, but I'm going to start tonight! NOW!

Anya

Hello,

Glad you came back and i do relate to what you said in your post. weve all been there. for ,me i was doing great with 47 pounds off then holidays came and it all spiraled downhill and i quit dieitng, exercising and hardly posted here out of embarressment but i am back and in full swing. we can all do this!
not a dream but a reality, one day and pound at a time.
i swore id never go back over 200 or even be 200 again. i was down to 174 before thanksgiving and after much binging ballooned up to 210. now after 3 weeks of being commited i have lost 9 pounds and almost out of the 200's again.

your not alone. i am only 5 feet tall and i wonder too how ,my hubby loves me so much. i feel like a giant, round beach ball but he doesnt feel i do. well mirrors dont lie, or do they?

best wishes on your journey and glad to see you back. if you want to talk you can PM me anytime or visit my journal. Minnies journey.

take care/

Thanks for the post Minnie. It's always good to know I'm not alone.


Okay.....I'm Cactus.

Not Anya.
Not Molly.
Not Molly Lou.
Not a few other names I can't even remember!

I'm feeling stupid and ashamed. But hey, I'm trying to start off right this time.

After a nervous breakdown and a lot of soul searching I'm back!

I hope that I still have some old friends out there and I hope to make some new ones!

Anya aka Cactus

Cactus,
hello friend. i have missed you...no need to feel embarrassed i dont know a single person here that is perfect so dont sweat it.
i am just glad that you have come back and hope that you stick around.
i wish you loads of success and i will be checking in with you to see how you are doing.
big hugs, bell :)

Cactus

I didn't know you and don't usually read many journals for I am compulsive and lose too much time on the net. But I know the shame of being fat, the shame of being out of control and the shame of eating when others can't see me, and what I'm eating.

I come to DT out of need to keep REAL. If I don't make a food plan I graze without thought. I go down in a blaze of shame almost daily deviating from my food plan but oddly I do see change. Not big weight change but my attitude toward eating has undergone a great deal of change.

Headed for bed. Almost 4 a.m.

Glad you found your way back. Time to face reality and get gut honest with yourself. The shame isn't the number or stats you post, but how you feel and see yourself.

Donna

Good morning Cactus! :wave: Although I didn't know you before (I'm quite new here myself), I'm glad you've come back! Almost all of us have image problems and worry about how we look to others and what they must be thinking. Whenever I have those thoughts lately I just tell myself, who cares what they're thinking? I'm changing my eating habits, exercising like a fiend, hanging out at DT, and I've lost over 20 lbs. What matters is what I think. And I'm mighty proud of myself. Even when I don't stick to my eating plan or skip a day of exercise. Because I know that it's a long journey I'm on, not a single day or a single hour. It's all about persistence.

That's why I'm mighty proud of you for not giving up! You should not be ashamed of yourself. You're here. You came back. You should be proud, proud, proud that you're putting your health back in order! :spring:

Welcome back Cactus!!! I'm glad you are back on the incredible journey with us! You were missed, girl! And don't be embarrassed. We all start and stop and hide and come back. What's important is that you have friends here who will support ALL of your efforts, no matter how many there are (gosh, how many times have I started???? Ack, I hate to count!).

Hi Cactus! I'm too new to have known you from before, but like the others have said, it's a GREAT thing that you have come back - no matter WHAT name you have this time! :ha:

I just wanted to drop by and offer you my whole-hearted support! :cheer: This is a great forum and so many nice people, I am finding out! So welcome back - keep your chin up and your determination alive! We'll travel on this weight loss journey as a team!! :ghug:

Hey Everyone!

I tried counting calories yesterday and it about drove me nuts! It was too much like counting those weight watcher points!

So, I got up this morning and didn't dive right into the food. I just threw my clothes on and started cleaning my house and running my errands. Stopped off at McD's for a diet coke and kept on going.

I finally ate around noon. I decided to have a corned beef sandwich and quickly made my mind up to only make a half. So, I had half a sandwich and a glass of milk.

Then around 1:30-2pm I had a bowl of Lucky Charms cereal.

It's almost 4:30pm here in AZ and I've got a chicken baking in the oven for dinner tonight. That and a lot of vegies will be our meal.

Night eating is my main problem though. I hope that I can make it through without my usual pig out! [-X

Anya aka Cactus :)

Everyone has to find their own way, own method. The fact remains we each have to be gut honest with ourselves. The excuses have to stop.

At least these are for me.

Donna

Hello,

i do remember you as cactus! wondered where you went. you never need to feel shamed or embarresed here just honest. i have had to learn to be honest with myself and others here and know im never alone or being judged.

night time eating was always my worst so now i drink water and have small snack preferably before 8. like a sugar free popscile or 94% ff popcorn and amazingly it is working and i am losing well.

when the nights are too hard i go to bed or come on puter.

take care and glad your back.