or is it? Is the reflection that I see in the mirror the same as the reflection other people see when they look at me?:-/ :-/

Welcome to Diettalk, Jen.
To answer your (very good) question, I know that when I look in the mirror, I probably teand to understate where I am - funny huh? Being overweight all my life, I know this seem weird. I look and see a smaller person than I actually am. Maybe I am seeing what I want to look like???
:rose:

My view of myself is distorted big time when I look into the mirror. I see myself larger than I really am.
I'm a size 14, but I see myself as probably about a size 18 in the mirror.

It's only when I look down at myself that I can see myself "for real." Or when someone takes a picture and I can see that I'm not as big as I look to myself in the mirror.

Donna

I think it depends on who's looking. You know the whole, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" saying, I think it goes the other way, too, "fat is in the eye of the beholder" if the person looking at you is critical, or if you're being critical of yourself, then the image is distorted.

I think that's why I like (some) photographs--they are a kind of objective view, capturing a moment. Whereas the mirror changes one second to the next; if I get on the scale and see a number I don't like, the same me I was admiring a minute ago as looking stronger, leaner, becomes a fat, disgusting me with too much mid-section. In photos, really, what you see is what you get. (unless its a bad photo...but that's a different topic.)

I once read (you'll find that i read a lot of studies LOL) that a study indicated that taller overweight women (5'7" or taller) tend to actually see themselves as bigger than what they are. They say the shorter women (5'6" and under) tend to see themselves as smaller than what they are. I truly believe this, for the main reason, being only 5'6" and having always been very overweight, i have never really had body image problems until recently...(when i began dating and now that I am in an intimate, L.T. relationship).

My mother is only 5'2" and about 250. she is big, but i see her getting ready to go out, the way she dolls herself up and admires herself in the mirror. She doesn't dress too revealing, but she is almost never questions whether some outfit makes her look too big. I used to be just like that. I used to smile at myself and tel myself how great i looked. so yes i do believe we do not always get an accurate reflection of what we are looking at. Angles and lighting do affect this as well. Lately i have been seeing things in a bad way when i look in the mirror. I never used to be like that though. I guess there are a number of reasons why someone would not get an accurate reflection when they look at themselves.

I think body image and ones perception of themselves is very subjective and has to factor in things like: the company you keep, your stress levels, self esteem, and what kind of personality you have.

I have had HORRIBLE body image my whole life. Even when I was skinny and weighed 130lbs. I still looked in the mirror and was not satisfied with what I saw. Now, (29lbs. later) I look in the mirror and am really unsatisfied with what I see despite having a very supportive boyfriend who tells me I'm beautiful every single day. It seems so messed up!

Body image comes down to how self critical you are. I am a person who pushes myself to the limits but who still says that I wasn't trying hard enough (at least when it comes to physical activities). I work out 4-5 times per week running and weight training but then chastise myself for not working out 7 days per week. I think my arms are fat, my stomach too lumpy, and my thighs too wide where they meet my pelvis. I have 36D breasts and I can't wait until I have $7,000 saved so that I can get a breast reduction.

But the thing that I dislike most of all is the fact that I am unable to look in the mirror and see someone who is beautiful. This is a psychological hurdle that I am working to overcome - learning to say 'thank you' when someone pays me a compliment instead of scoffing at them.

Society and culture is partly to blame, but I think good body image stems primarily from childhood. If your parents were supportive of you growing up and were constantly giving you good feedback and affirmation your body image would be greatly improved as an adult. Unfortunately, my parents told me I didn't need that slice of cake because it would make me fat, or that I could be so pretty if I just lost 10 lbs. I'm still searching for that pretty person and still striving for that 10 lbs.

capital ,

You made some good points. You seemed to have discovered your problem and are trying fix. Are you seeing a therapist?


I would personally postpone any surgery until I had my psychological fixed.

Good luck to you.

Capital...

If you can prove that your boobs are making it hard for you to work out, you can get insurance to pay for it!!! I have 36DD's, and I HATE THEM. I want to get them reduced, but my hubby says he likes them too much. I don't want to dissapoint him, but I don't want to dissappoint myself either. Any suggestions? I want to go down to a 36C. That's still "womanly!"

Rikki:D

Hi rikki! :)

pouncermom - I am like you.. I see less of me than there really is. I know this to be true b/c there have been several times that I got dressed up and looked in the mirror and thought "Wow! I look good!" Then see pictures from the same night and am mortified at what I see. I see not just a fat person, but an obese person and it depresses me. My solution? Don't look at anymore pictures. LoL And of course, lose the weight. My husband tells me I don't look like I weigh as much as I do, but when I see pics I realize, to HIM I don't but in reality I do. Then it makes me second guess myself everytime I think I look nice... Do I REALLY look good or do *I* just see myself that way? It's really awful. Can't wait to be skinny and not have to worry about it anymore. LoL

Hi Goddess:

I am there with you two too. I have also done the "get dressed up and then look at pics" thing. I have also unexpectedly caughet myself in the mirror, and YIKES! Time ti come to terms with the badness of my weight. That's why I'm here!

Rikki:D

When I was bigger, I never realized how big I looked. I thought I looked ok, but pictures don't lie. Now people tell me that I look great and say that I don't need to lose anymore. I wonder where they get that idea. I look at myself in the mirror and I do think I am looking ok, but there is still quite a bit of weight to lose. So I wonder if it is me or them that have the problem there. I think that being big all my life ( I haven't been this weight since early teens) people just can't see me as a size 8 or 10.
I find the one thing that does surprise me if I am walking by a window in a mall and I see myself, I wonder who that person is, then I realize, that im doing ok.

Maryse

rikki - I'm a 36C and they still get in the way :laugh:

But I do have to say that I think it's "womanly" - actually, I think every woman is womanly, regardless of her boob size. :)

Dea--I'm jealous! I'd like to be that size. I remember the good old days of Middle School when I started to develop. I was like Yikes! Then I was like Hey! Boys pay attention to me! Then I was like, cut these beasts off!!! I would really like to learn to love them. Does anyone have any suggestions? I think there one part of me that makes me look extra big!!!

Rikki:D

mirrors distort images i think, in my bathroom mirror i look huge to myself, but in the mirror in the victoria;s secret dressing room.. i seem smaller than i really am. wierd huh?

rikkij-

Boob jobs. wait til you get to your goal weight and stay there for awhile. You may decided that you like them more or that they got smaller. I have loss 4 inches off my back so far.

Also - if you gain a bunch of weight back. the boobs will come back. My friend gained a 1/2 cup size back already.

How to enjoy your boobs. Play with them and gain pleasure from them and you may enjoy them better.