Well, I'm getting more into these message boards than I ever thought I would. I think an online diet journal would be just the thing to help me stay motivated.

First, my starting weight as of Sunday, July 6, 2003 was, I believe, 137.4 (check out the stats).

1st goal: 130
2nd: 120
3rd: 115 Then I'll see if I want to lose more. I was going to shoot for 105, but that is underweight for me and I have never been that low in my whole adult life, so that did not seem reasonable to me. I want to look fit and healthy--not sick, and I don't want to feel like crap either.

As to why I want to lose this weight. Well, did you ever feel like you could just be better? Well, I feel like losing this 22.4 pounds WILL make life better-- maybe by just making me feel better.

My plan-- 1) exercise, exercise, exercise-- I don't want just thinness, I want strength and tone. I will write down my exercises each day. 2) Just quit putting junk in my mouth and have a little discipline and control for goodness sake! I'll let you know what I'm eating or maybe I'm not supposed to do this, I read somewhere on the homepage this was a "food free zone", besides, writing about what you eat is down right tedious.

Lastly, I think I'll take a little time to chronicle the up and down struggles of this whole "dieting" thing. So many millions of people go through it, and it's emotionally exhausting, I think. I'll tell you one thing for sure, after 11 years on being on one diet or another or dealing with FOOD and eating issues--I will for once and for all get down to my "magic" number for my weight. So I can just see what it's like.:)

Hello and welcome,

Losing wt does improve our lives and make us more happy as we will feel happier and more confident with ourselves. i have been struggling with wt issues for yrs and sick of dreaming and want to live the reality of being thin and fit.
i am short too which doesnt help the fact that every pound i gain shows big time. so i wish you much luck and success and if you need anything feel free to message me or visit my own journal Minnies Journey. I love the company.

take care.

Thank-you Minnie Mouse, I will take a look at your journal too.

Wednesday, July 9, 2003

Exercise: I got out the old rowing machine and rowed for a little over an hour; 1300 strokes. I watched Dr. Phil while I rowed and ironically the show was a about 2 young ladies with eating disorders. I also did 100 crunches.

Food: I know I was hesitant about listing what I eat each day, but I think that to begin with, it may help me get an idea of my habits. Of course since I am just starting this journal I was very good today. Breakfast: medium chef's salad w/ fat free italian dressing & a big homemade latte w/ skim milk and sweet and low. Lunch: medium chef salad w/ homemade olive oil vinegarette
Dinner: 1 beef enchilada, little salad, salsa. + I drink lots of water.

Problem: We have guest over a lot in the summer, and I cook BIG for them. Not too low fat or healthy either. Also, when I cook I nibble.

Thursday, July 10, 2003

Today I spent about 3 hours cleaning the house and I think I got a little sick off of bleach fumes. UGH.

Exercise: 1 hour of rowing. I rowed at a slower pace because I really think the bleach fumes were making me ill. 1120 strokes. I also managed to break the seat of my rowing machine, so I'm going to have to look at it tonight or tomorrow.

Today I got up and cooked 1st thing in the morning. I'm part Thai, and I made a Thai dish-- a beef salad w/ lime juice, fish sauce, peppers, onions, cilantro, and mint. And I ate that for breakfast, lunch, and dinner! I am also a Texan w/ a fiance whose more meat and potaoes, so I also barbequed a brisket. That's for him. So for today I had like 10 oz. of beef (all my meals put together) and about 2 cups of rice? I also had 3 latte's so that's about 1 1/4 cup of skim milk. + water and these delicious minute maid light lemonades. They're great.

We're suppose to have a friend over this weekend, and I am planning on making lasagna for dinner the first night (tomorrow). So I guess I'm off to start cooking the sauce for it!

* I NEED to exercise more! That's my new goal.

Sunday, July 13, 2003

Well Hello! Long time, no see. As I said in my last entry, I have a friend over for the weekend so that has put a little cramp in my diet schedule here how it's been:

Exercise: None. I know I am lame. I am going to get back on it. As of right now my friend is fixing the seat on my rowing machine so I should be able to row soon. One other caveat: There's a tropical storm, Claudette, bearing down on our butts here on the good old Texas coast. I happen to live on an island where we have to take special precautions with tropical storms and hurricanes. So getting ready for this thing takes precedence over exercise.

Food: Friday, July 11: 1 serving of lasagna, 1 breadstick, numerous cocktails. This is it--no more alcohol for me. What a waste of calories! Saturday, July 12: One big burrito dinner, chips-n-queso + non diet soda. Sunday, July 13: Let's not go there, needless to say... I blew it! I LOST 4 pounds this week--WEEK 1.

Thank you. Your post just inspired me to go walking for 25 minutes.

Monday, July 14, 2003
People here are so nice, but right now I'm so... sad? dissapointed w/ myself? Fed-up w/ myself? I got into an argument w/ my fiance about this whole tropical storm thing. I feel like we did not do enough to prepare for it. But what really made me mad was that he and our house guest (more my fiance's friend) just poo-pooed my worries and fears. What REALLY made me made was that this person that my fiance invited over, whom I spent the whole weekend entertaining b/c the fiance was at work, was just dismissing my worries and fears! He doesn't live here and it's not his house that will be damaged--he's outta town right now and I'm stuck on this island listening to constant weather updates. Okay, I need to get a grip, this is just passive-aggressive venting and it is not a good thing to do, so forgive me.

So, felt like crap all day, felt depressed, angry, dismissed, tense, and betrayed. How did I chose to cope-- by over-eating, and that is why I am dissapointed/fed-up w/ mysef. FOOD (I wasn't going to write this, but I have to be honest): Brownies--3, lasagna--1 large serving, flour tortilla-1, fried shrimp--3. I believe that is all for today. I should not eat anything more, but I may eat something else b/c-- well, I don't know why because? There's not a good reason. NO EXERCISE! And that's a double whammy b/c exercise makes me feel so much better, and it helps me eat normally. I bought a book, The 12 Steps of Overeaters Anonymous. I'm going to see what that's all about. 3.4 pounds to my first goal. I'm going to try to make it by this Sunday coming up. :( I'm going to go read other peoples journals now. d.

Daisy-bell

Overeaters is about compulsive eating and working the AA 12 step program to gain emotional resolution, and a method of handling situations that come up.

It isn't the food but the emotions often that leads us to food.

I am glad you are looking into DT ---great for venting and support and helpful advise.

Donna

Can visit my journal at Donna's Thoughts. Don't usually visit very many people 's journal because of the time factor. Can lose too much time online.

heh, heh. Tuesday, July 15, 2003

Still fighting w/ the old fiance. The hurricane hit landfall about 65 miles north of us, so we were on the dry side of it. All we saw was some pretty gusty winds and minimal rain, thank the Lord. It was much worse north of us w/ 85 mph winds and flooding. It was a very small hurricane. Our phone was ringing off the hook w/ friends and family who were really concerned about us. I'm so thankful that we have people that love us, nothing like a hurricane to make you feel loved.

Like I said, still not getting along w/ the old fiance, & he's off of work which makes my day no fun & w/ the weather we're shut in. He asked me why I was mad and I said it was b/c we were supposed to be getting married and he was suppose to be my support and my partner and "yoked w/ me through life" yet he chooses to make fun of my fears and concerns and just side w/ his friends and ANYONE against me. He said it was just not true and now I'm still choosing not to communicate w/ him b/c I truly feel it's true and perception is everything. Jeez, if he has just read that Dr. Phil book...:)

I ran out of room. I think I better get off of personal topics and back onto my Diet Journal. I guess I am making that difficult b/c I have't been dieting. BREAKFAST: 1 & 1/2 pieces of fried Chicken, 1 handful of fried okra, 1 brownie. LUNCH: 1 brownie (I swear I am never making brownies again) DINNER: I don't know, maybe ramen noodles? I am sad, sad, sad, and I can tell that when I'm sad my eating gets a little weird (my food choices) and I tend to go for the carbs. Not to mention I hole up in my bed and decide that I don't feel like doing anything.

Okay, There will be a marked change in my behavior for the next entries. :coach: No more feeling sorry for myself, sad, or playing the victim. I have heard from people who I believe are in the know (Judge Judy, Dr. Phil, Dr. Laura;) ) that you have to behave your way into the person that you want to be. This is what I am going to do! To become the person that I feel God and I want me to become, first I must exhibit the behaviors of that person that I would like to be. Action precedes results/development. The best revenge is living well. Be all I can be. Any more platitudes out there? I am going to weigh myself everyday too b/c it WILL motivate me. I have probably gained weight since Sunday b/c I chose to play the victim and be poor little me, but I am changing that. Stay tuned for new postitive behaviors!:dn Daisy:flower:

Daisy dear!!
:hug:
It sounds like you have depression, dear. Is this something you can see your doctor about?
Babe, you are beautiful and precious. I'm sorry you've been so down. Feel better!!!

Elivi, Thank you for showing your concern. Yes, I believe that I do suffer from depression sometimes, bouts of it, but that's okay. I'll feel better :)

Wednesday July 16, 2003: 134.4 pounds (up 1 pound from Sunday YIKES!)
Made up w/ the fiance. Told him how I felt, asked if he understood. He said he did, and then apologized. I do not like to stay angry at anyone for any length of time.

Food: BREAKFAST: Shredded wheat cereal w/ skim milk, Homemade latte W/ Splenda (yum!) and ~1/4 cup skim milk.
LUNCH/DINNER: Chinese Buffet, not so bad, I wasn't hungry so I had a bit of all my favorites, a little bit = to one plate's worth & tapioca pudding.

Exercise: Took my dogs to the beach, but I don't think this really counts, I'm just being kind to myself. I threw the tennis ball and walked a bit, but I really don't think this counts.

I do feel better today. I think once I get back to my exercising schedule that will help quite a bit. Is anyone here an insomniac? I have crazy bad insomnia, I have tried pretty much everything except going to a Dr. to cure it. I can't fall asleep and then I am THE WORLD'S LIGHTEST SLEEPER, so when I do fall asleep, I wake up at least 5 times a night.

Hello,

I think we all from time to time go through bouts of depression from stress and so on. glad you got it worked out with your sweetie. i too hate to fight and when me and my hubby do it really downs my mood.


i couldnt even be near a chinese buffet. i would go over board and you did so well.

take care.

I feel very much better today. I also wanted to say that I think all of you here are so kind and caring and that this is the BEST diet forum I have found. Heck, it's the best forum I have found b/c it feels really safe here, like you won't be judged. That's so cool.

These are my 3 goals for weight loss:

1) Love and Respect the body that God gave me.
2) No eating after 7 pm, NO MATTER WHAT!
3) Do 1 hour of fat-burning cardio everyday.

I think that this'll surely enable me to lose 18 more pounds.

FOOD: Breakfast: Skipped--I have to work on that.
Lunch: 6 in Subway club w/ mustard and veggies (it's a light sandwich) 1 bag of baked Lays
Snack: Choco-chocolate chip cookie
Dinner: I had the other half of my lunch sandwich (I had bought a 12 in, but ate half for lunch) But I didn't finish the sandwich. Maybe I'll have a yogurt b/f the cut off time

EXERCISE: rowing for 1 hour (YEAH! The rowing machine is fixed!)

Today I watched an interesting program on the Discovery Channel. It was about this British guy trying to lose weight, and what happens physiologically to the body and the signals that the brain sends out when diet and food restriction alone is used to lose weight. It was not very encouraging. What WAS encouraging is what happens when exercise is added to the mix. The program was saying that by exercising and gradually strengthening our muscles we 1) develop more and stronger blood vessels and capillaries that will supply our muscles w/ the fuel it needs (FAT) 2) the mitochondria in our muscle cells divide and reproduce, thus giving us more "power houses" to burn the fuel that our muscles need (fat) 3) since we have more mitochondria in our muscles and a better way to deliver the needed fuel to our muscles via better blood vessels and capillaries, our muscles and body turn into more efficient fat burning machines with exercise. That made me get on my rowing machine and row an extra 45 minutes. That's what I want my body to be-- an efficient fat burning machine, so I am going to make working out my muscles HARD a top priority.

In other news today... BREAKFAST: yogurt. LUNCH: 1 boneless skinless baked chicken breast w/ a sprinkle of cheese, 1 &1/2 flour tortilla's, 1 tablespoon light sour cream, picante sauce, and 1/4 cup of baked beans. DINNER: a bowl of Kellog's Special K Red Berries's cereal w/ skim milk. I like cereal, I did a cereal diet once and lost weight fast, but did not keep it off.

Exercise: 1 hour of fast walking (Morning) 45 minutes of rowing (evening) I watched "Queer Eye for The Straight Guy" on Bravo while rowing. That show is just funny. It made me laugh out loud!:laugh: I am going to try to be more productive and only watch TV while rowing, which is hard b/c rowing HURTS my arm and back after awhile and then it's hard to concentrate on the show. Big weigh in tomorrow! WOO HOO!

Food: BREAKFAST: shredded wheat/ skim milk LUNCH: little fruit cocktail w/ 3/4 cup skim milk DINNER: Met my sweetie for an early supper-- 3 slices of thin crust combo pizza

EXERCISE: 1 hr & 5 minutes of fast walking, a bit over 4 miles I would guess. I am going to try to get off my butt this evening and row for 45 minutes.

This not eating after 7 pm is difficult, but it is working out. I just tell myself-- "Wait 'till breakfast" I still wish I were more productive during the day. I got up, exercised, did some weed pulling & watering. Did dishes, got ready for church, went to church. Came home, read Bible then got on the computer. Put away the laundry. Met my fiance for dinner. Bought a book. Now for the past 2 1/2 hours I've been on the couch reading. No More books for just pleasure reading.

I lost 2.2 pounds this week.

Woke up late & missed my walk. For breakfast had coffee/Splenda/skim milk and a Dannon fit-n-light yogurt. Took the dog's to the beach. For Lunch had a slice of thin crust combo pizza. Went shopping. I bought some jeans at Ross for $10.95! I can never really find jeans that fit right b/c I'm short. These jeans were short too:) So they actually fit me okay. Bought groceries. Shopping wipes me out. Did NOT exercise to Dr. Phil, and I am resigned to NOT exercising today. Also-- I ate too much at dinner, pan fried skirt steak w/ macaroni and cheese and a tortilla. So I will probably weigh more tomorrow than today. I am actually trying to weigh at least an ounce less each day.

Okay, I'm losing my focus here by not exercising. That's the one thing that makes me lose weight, but I've started sleeping in. Also I have not been rowing. I have 3 & 1/2 weeks until school starts. Next week is time to start getting ready. So I better get off my lazy butt and start doing it! I get so mad at myself sometimes. Tomorrow I KNOW I'll weigh more than I did today and that just sucks. Also, my fiance is taking me to The Olive Garden tomorrow b/c he has the day off. I know I'll be eating a bunch there b/c I like pasta! And I like to eat out! And I like to be able to pick out whatever I want to eat and not have to worry about the fat and the calories and just enjoy it w/out feeling guilty for once in my life. But Lord knows that's never going to happen. I'll just not eat too much before we go and I'll make sure we go early. You know, food and eating is just no fun anymore.

BREAKFAST: Lots of coffee w/ 2 packets of splenda and 1/2 cup of skim milk.

LUNCH: 1 beef fajita w/ a sprinkle of cheese, light sour cream, & picante sauce & 1/3 cup of black beans

DINNER: 1 peanut butter and jelly sandwich w/ really, a ridiculous amount of peanut butter on white bread and a very big glass of skim milk.

PLUS: Numerous lite lemonades & Diet Cherry Cokes-- like about 9 or 10 cans. I need to replace those w/ more water, but I've had like tons of water too.

EXERCISE: I am just about to go on the rowig machine and row my little heart out-- 1 hour. I really want to weigh less tomorrow than I did today.

Darn. I KNEW I was going to weigh more today. 1.6 pounds more to be exact. This is b/c last night, despite my best intentions, I did NOT row, AND I ate an additional bowl of cereal, flour tortilla (I cannot buy these anymore), rice cake, and some beef fajita meat. While I was eating it, it seemed like, "I'm only cheating a little bit..." but now that I wrote it all down, it is quite a bit. So that's that, I KNOW that if I eat past 7 pm all my hard work is for nought.

Woke up late again. 7:15 am. Made the usual tall glass of coffee w/ 2 Splenda's & 1/2 cup of skim milk. Had that for breakfast while reading my Bible. Then I actually ROWED ( finally) for an hour. Then took the dogs to the beach. Came back, dropped them off and went to the beach w/ just my fiance.

Lunch: yogurt

DINNER: ate at 4:30 pm, and went to the Olive Garden. Split an appetizer of calimarie & stuffed mushrooms w/ my fiance. Had 1 bread stick, little salad, 1 big magarita (2 shots of alcohol worth) and for the entree-- Shrimp & crab stuffed ravioli's. Now the smart thing to do would have been to eat 1/2 the plate and take the rest home. For some reason, that did not even enter my head until I only had 3 ravioli's left. Oh well, I was planning on getting desert too, but I passed on that.

I wonder what I'll weigh tomorrow? d.

Whew, did I fall off the wagon! Parents and brother came to visit. I over-ate and did not exercise, I gained weight. I already wrote about it in the weigh-in section "Sunday Weigh-In to 115 (or less)" so I'm not going to write it again here. But I'm back on the wagon, still trying to lose that last 16 pounds to weigh my "ideal" weight of 115. And I don't feel too bad at all.