Well, I had a revelation today. I think one of the reasons I haven't been able to maintain weight loss is that I don't have a support group (and "Coach Husband" doesn't count, does he?). And the reason I don't have a support group is that I've never been able to admit I need help.

Now, maybe that should be obvious to anyone with two eyes, right? But the thing is, I have to be perfect. I mean, I know I'm not perfect, but God forbid that anyone else should see a single flaw in me. My whole demeanor says, "I've got it all under control; no problems here!" And that's just not real. More importantly, it's not The Truth.

So here I'm finally spilling my guts!

I have a weight problem. I'm an emotional eater. I don't know when to stop. I give in to almost every craving after six p.m. I've gained 30 pounds since getting married, and that was not quite three years ago! I'm lazy and sluggish and not much fun for my active husband. I love chocolate and ice cream WAY too much (more than I love some of my relatives) :eek:

And as you can see, I use humor as a defense mechanism, and I'm not even all that funny!

Whew! I guess I don't have it all under control, do I?

You know, last night my husband took me to the county fair. It's supposed to be the biggest event of the summer around here. And he really wanted to have a good time. But I was cranky and couldn't find anything to eat (and ended up eating things I shouldn't have anyway) and basically ruined it for him. There were like 3000 high school students there. Thin, tan girls wearing those fun summer outfits and walking hand-in-hand with their boyfriends. And all I could think about was, "Is he looking at her?" "Does he wish he was with someone who looked like that?" And my personal favorite, "It's so hard to walk around in shorts when my thighs are rubbing together and making the cloth ride up!"

Oh, I want to be healthy so I can enjoy life again!

So, anyway, girls, basically this is my cry for help. I need to lose weight. And to do that I need support. And to do that I need to learn how to be vulnerable. How am I doing?

Suzie

Well, Suzie, you came to the right place! Diettalk is a wonderfully supportive place. We'll encourage you all the way. Good job on signing up!

So, what's your plan? Do you have one yet? Exercise, eating right, thinking healthy thoughts. Those are what you need to get to your goals.

Hi suzie,

I think you're off to a great start, admitting there needs to be a change is the first step.
I wouldn't go leaping off cliffs, but maybe start with a few small changes that will be liveable for you day to day.
Assuming you prepare the meals for you and your hubby, that's the first place you can start. You'd be surprised how quickly you can see visible results from small changes such as not deep frying, not using oil to pan fry but substitute a non-fat cooking spray. Not adding sauces, full fat cheeses or butter to vegetables and other dishes, switching from whole milk to skim, and just selecting leaner cuts of meats is a huge calorie and fat savings.

So you can cut literally hundreds of calories from your daily diet just by changing a few small habits.
And you say your husband is active so that makes it easier for you to get active. Maybe there are some things you two can do together to get some exercise in your week? Don't know if there's something you two can do every day together, so if not, find a form of exercise that you will like and get some exercise time in every day, seems like you'll have support since your hubby is an active guy.

So between preparing meals in more lower cal and lower fat methods and making better food choices overall, and getting some exercise in every day, you'll be off to a great start and one that will become a way of life!:D

Good luck~and you're not the only one that loves ice cream more than some of her relatives!:D

Donna

Hi kilogo!

So nice of you to stop by and welcome me!

So what's my plan? It's not really formalized yet. But I'm pondering it. Actually, I've been on the Curves low-carb diet. But I don't really like it. I lost 14 pounds but we moved last month and during the transition time I gained it back and more. :c( Since getting back on the diet I've lost 4 pounds but I feel less healthy than ever; all that meat and no fruit or whole grains! I'd really like to make my own plan that includes just healthy foods and controls my portion sizes and night-time eating habits. Any idea?

Hi getnfit@38!

Would you believe that you were one of the people I wanted to meet on diettalk? That's because my twin sister elivi told me you were one of her favorite people here!
"Coach Husband" is calling; I'll write more later!

Suzie

Hi Suzie, :wave:

I see you have already taken the first step towards your success .... YOU HAVE BECOME PART OF THE DIETTALK FAMILY.

I read your first journal entry ..... and it tells a lot about you .... lol I bet you're surprised .....

Would you believe we all had your same thoughts and feelings ... and it isn't an age factor ..... it is a fat factor.

But now that you are here ...... YOU ARE GOING TO FIND SUCCESS ..... AND YOU WILL ACHIEVE YOUR WEIGHT LOSS GOALS. Each one of us here at DT has selected a weight loss program .... notice I use the word weight loss program .. simply because to me the word "diet" is a negative. Look at the first three letters .. lol that is more negative than I choose to think about ..... I am offering my opinion .... it isn't written in concrete .. and I don't claim to have all the answers to all the questions ... your choices HAVE TO BE JUST THAT .... Y O U R C H O I C E S .

Select a weight loss program that YOU CAN LIVE WITH EVERY SINGLE DAY OF YOUR LIFE. Don't rush into everything all at one time .... take it slowly so that you feel comfortable with your program.

Give yourself two weeks to get comfortable with your food choices ... read up on various plans .... (library is a great source ) ... and make sure you incorporate :water: (at least 64 oz.) in your weight loss program.

Start your exercise program ... S L O W L Y ... (I started walking 10 minutes every day ..... adding 5 to 10 minutes every week thereafter ... and then I purchased Walking Away The Pounds Video tapes, and after much dragging my feet I joined Curves -- which was the smartest choice I could make for a variety of reasons).

One last thing .... there are going to be occasions that you go off track ... DON'T :whip: YOURSELF .... OR THINK YOU HAVE FAILED. WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT IS THAT YOU GET BACK ON TRACK .... AND LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR JOURNEY AHEAD .... AND ONLY LOOK BACK TO INSURE THAT YOU LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES

Suzie, now that you are here at DT YOU WILL ACHIEVE YOUR WEIGHT LOSS GOALS. Any time I can be of help ... YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME. Welcome to Diettalk .... and to the Journal Forum. I am looking forward to hearing about your successes. As always, Monica :wn

We went to a friend's house for lunch today -- three couples and lots of great food. I so much wanted to be good so I'd have something to be proud of when I post this journal entry...but there was chocolate, decadent Swedish chocolate and cinnamon rolls and strawberry shortcake with vanilla sauce (which I'd never had before but that didn't stop me from trying it!)

Well, I did okay I guess. I only had two chocolates and half a cinnamon roll and believe me, I wanted to sample every kind of chocolate in that box! And afterwards we all went on a five mile walk on the bike trail near our house. That's more walking at one time than I've done in a long time...I have blisters now -- serves me right for wearing flip-flops!

Most importantly, I was the fattest of the three girls there today and it didn't even bother me. I have felt so much more accepting of my body since joining this forum and you ladies have really helped :x

Isn't that a paradox? I finally accept my body for what it is when I feel truly empowered to change it!

Hi Monica!

Thank you so much for welcoming me to the "diettalk family." It's people like you who make it what it is! You are so positive and inspirational and encouraging. . .Thank you!:rose:

I love Curves too. It is a lot like diettalk in that it everyone encourages each other and everyone wants to see you succeed in your weight loss goals. I have been going there since February. At that time I already had a health club membership but even though I attended 4 times a week, it did nothing for me and I felt so alone.

Wow, Monica, I just read your stats and congratulations on your amazing success so far!

Well, I'd like to say more but 7pm (my eating cut-off time) is fast approaching and I'd like to make dinner now.:wave: Again, it's been great meeting you and I'll keep posting my progress (and regress, probably)!

Suzie

Dear Suzie,

I would like to suggest something ..... check the Recipe Forum, there are countless recipes for all avenues of your weight loss journey. DON'T THINK THAT YOU HAVE TO DEPRIVE YOURSELF ..... If you have the taste for a dessert ... check the dessert forum. If you have gettogethers with family and friends .... select a dessert that YOU CAN ALL ENJOY and that enables you to lose weight .

Be patient with yourself Suzie .... we all have to learn ..... and you will see that within a very short period of time .... YOU WILL FIND SUCCESS. Make it a great weekend. As always, Monica

Hey Suzie!

Welcome and Good to meet you. You have definately come to the right place! These folks know their stuff. Just remember that we are all in this together and you can always find a ready ear and lost of great advise. Hope to see you often!

Hi suzie,

I love what you said about accepting your body and feeling empowered to change it! It really is all in your control and I sense you realize it and are ready to run with it!:D

And you know what's funny, I don't know when you stop looking around the room to see if you're the biggest one in the room, cause I still do it today, but even when I was, once I took hold of my life and started changing it, it didn't matter if I was, because I knew I was making changes and it would be just a matter of time.

And you did well with the desserts. Any time you consciously display control/moderation, you've succeeded! You didn't have to say "no" to it, just having a minimal amount rather than sampling everything showed control. That's all that matters, you made the decision to stop at "some." So feel good about that, and remember, it's not about denial, it's about control and moderation.

Have a good one today:D

Donna

Well I've done it. I've actually planned an entire week of meals all by myself! No help from Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers or Richard Simmons (hope I don't offend anyone here) :joke:

So, here's what I'm having today:

6:00am -- 1 cup shredded wheat, 1/2 cup milk, 1 banana
9:00am -- 7 triscuits, 1/4 cup dried apricots, 1/2 cup fresh broccoli
11:00am -- 2 Wasa crackers, 2 Tbsp cream cheese, 1/4 cup almonds, 10 baby carrots
2:00pm -- 1 stalk of celery, 1/2 chocolate bar (having something on my "sin" list everyday is part of the plan!)
4:00pm -- 8 oz yogurt, 1/2 cup blueberries, 1/3 of a cucumber
7:00pm -- 1/2 cup cubed cantaloupe, 1 red bell pepper

Going to Cedar Point today, which, for all of you who don't live near here, is like 6 Flags but with more roller coasters. I'm surprised "Coach Husband" still wants to take me after the way I behaved at the county fair. But this will give me a chance to practice "being fun" and maybe redeem myself. Wish me luck!

Suzie

Hi!

Congrats with all of your planning, your menu looks yummy! I was at Cedar Point a couple of years ago and loved it there. I am such a roller coaster junkie. The Mantis (??) was the best, I love the stand-up coasters. Have Fun!!

Good Morning Suzie, :wave:

WHAT AN EXCELLENT MENU YOU HAVE PREPARED FOR THE DAY :up:

Question is the 1/2 a chocolate bar a mini-chocolate or is it half of a Hershey's Chocolate Bar? If it is a mini chocolate .... than I say GREAT CHOICE but if it's half of a Hershey's Chocolate Bar .... hmmmm that might cause some problems down the week.

It is great that you are going to make it a fun day .... we all need to have those kind of days where we can forget and just enjoy what we have and who we are .... make it a great day. As always, Monica :wn

Hey Suzie,

Love your menu and I especially LOVE the way you've timed your meals/snacks. It prevents you from getting so hungry you eat poorly, I personally love it and it works for me!:D

Have a fun day!

Donna

Suzie Kuzie,

Hey, you made it!

Your meal plan is nothing short of astounding. I just have one question - where's the meals? Looks like 6 snacks to me *pout* No wonder I weigh the equivalent of an average-sized SUV more than you...I'm putting a lot more in the trunk.

:) Oh I'm just kidding. You know I love ya.

So how was Cedar Point??? Did "fun girl" make an appearance as hoped?

Hi, Elivi!

So nice of you to stop by! Yes, those "meals" were more like snacks, but that was because we went to Cedar Point, and everything had to go in the cooler. Nothing that had to be cooked, just "grab and go." Here's today's plan:

8:00am -- 1 whole wheat bagel with 1 oz cheddar cheese, 1/2 cup red grapes

10:30am -- 1 slice whole wheat toast with 1 Tbsp butter, 1 nectarine, 10 baby carrots

12:30pm -- 1 whole wheat hot dog bun, 1 soy hot dog, salad with 2 Tbsp fat-free Ranch

2:00pm -- 1 stalk celery, 1/2 chocolate bar (yes, Mon, it's a "small" one) :tongue:

4:30pm -- 4 oz broiled chicken breast, 1/2 cup steamed broccoli, 1 peach

6:30pm -- 1/2 of a cucumber, 1 plum

Hi, Donna!

Thanks for the encouragement! Want to share one of your meal plans with me for comparison? I'd love to see what everyone else is doing (for example, see Elivi's ball of yarn) :jn

Hi, Nikic!

Nice to meet you, and yes, we had fun at Cedar Point. It was my first time; "Coach Husband" :coach: had been there before. He's another roller coaster junkie, I mean, that's ALL HE WANTS TO DO! At first I refused to try the Mantis with him, I mean, STANDING UP?!!!@? Yikes. But eventually I worked up the courage, and you know, it was pretty fun. Had a monster headache afterwards, though. But I always get headaches after roller coasters, and I don't know why. Thought I was dehydrated, but yesterday I had rivers of H20 coursing through me and still, headaches. Any ideas?

Go, dieters! Let's make today better than yesterday!

Love ya'll :hippy:
Suzie

You're so cute. :sweety:

Ack! You're meal plan looks yummy. That hot dog wouldn't be a Loma Linda product now would it? :)

How many calories are you shooting for everyday? I am terrible at counting calories so I don't even try. I am just curious how you go about planning your food day.

Smile sweety! Oh, and about those headaches? It's a crazy idea, but it just might work. Advil, that is...:D

Hi Suzie,

I like how you plan your "treat" in your day, I do too!:D

I post my meals under the "Snow Angels Food Journal" so there are some for the past 2 weeks and I have to put mine in for today while I'm online now.

So how do the cost of soy dogs compare to ff meat hot dogs? I get the Oscar Meyer ff hot dogs, they're 40 cals/0g fat per hot dog and you get a pack of 8 for about $2.99 unless you catch them on sale!

Your menu looks yummy, not enough meat for a carnivore like me, but hey, you're sure getting your veggies and fruit in!:D

Donna

hello there!!

a few things struch a chord with me.

1st the comparison thing. I am the queen of the "am I thinner than her, honey?" comments to dh-type; he gets really tired of it, but I don't want to be the fattest chick in the coop, I want him to confirm that I'm not. And God help him if he looks at the Britney wannabe. (insert sadistic, murderous smilie here.)
2nd--timing food is great. Adding treats is great. If you really want to know about your calories, go to Fitday.com, a really good free site that allows you to input your food and breaks it down into carb/protein/fat and caloric amounts. It talkes some getting used to as far as amounts, but it's a great tool, I use it every now and again when I'm feeling like I might want to be analytical about what I'm feeding myself.
3rd. The attitude thing. I hated myself for more of my life than I liked me. So WHY should I do something nice for that fat, tubby b***h who I don't like? And then a lightbulb thing when *blink!*--probably yet another lightbulb burning out in the house--and I realized, I am the only me I'm ever gonna have. And it's an okay me to be, I've never pulled the wings off a fly, I bathe frequently, and have a wonderful baby and mate. THEY must see something in me. And everything changed, it was like this whole paradigm shift. I wanted to exercise, I wanted to feed myself good food, I wanted to be a fit healthy me FOR me. Not to hate myself less, but cuz I liked myself. It was my turning point, we all have different "click" moments, I just thought I'd throw mine out there for you!!

and last.
4. I *hate* the hungry crotch-and -butt- shorts syndrome. I have 120# friends with skinny thighs who complain about the same thing. But I refuse to be hot and miserable waiting for all the moons to be alligned correctly in the vast universe before I get into shorts, or go to a public swimming pool. Life is a great gift, and I intend to ENJOY all that I can. (though I can't say I "enjoy" digging shorts "down."--c'est la vie.)

Good ta' meetcha and have you here!!:D

Well now we have found your wonderful twin sister Elivi, we knew that you must be pretty darn great too, Suzie.
welcome to diettalk, its the best place for support and having a journal here and laying it all out leads to other people really relating to you..
i have been at DT since 98 and have been pregnant, reached goal and now maintained the loss for 3 years.....i would never leave here, i have made way too many wonderful friends who really understand.
i have the perfectionist thing going on still, i am my own harshest critic but dont let anyone else point anything out or i will bust their butt :)
Really looking forward to getting to know you and watching your success.
hugs bell :)

Hi Suzie,
I enjoyed catching up on your journal. You do have a good sense of humor which I really like. Don't ever change that.
I, too, am knew to DT. I am now looking foward to reading Elivi's journal.
Hope you have a great Thursday!

Mia

Suzie, I love your honesty...it's refreshing...your post really made me see that there are more people than just me who go through what I do. More power to ya!

P.S. I'm a rollercoaster junkie too, I drag the husband and kids off to amusement parks at least once a week.

Amazing. I have actually lost some weight after going off the Curves diet and trusting my own instincts!

See what happens when I don't write for a day? So many of you lovely ladies wrote to me that I just can't respond to you all!

B-) Elivi -- Actually, I don't count calories. I estimate them. And that ISN"T my basis for meal planning. It's pretty simple, to tell the truth. First, portion control. I have a problem with that, so I'm trying to be strict with myself on that score and when I plan my meals, I try to plan them small; you know, one cup of cereal rather than my typical 1 and 1/2 to 2 cups, 1 slice of toast rather than 2, etc. Second, I'm aiming for 9 servings of fruits and vegetables every day (recommended by Prevention mag) because they fill me up and there's no guilt involved, but yet again, I have to be careful about portion size when it comes to those fruits; I could overdo it there and gotta watch that sugar, even if it's just fructose. Third, I try to get my complex carbs over with by lunch or mid-afternoon, so I have time to burn them off before hitting the sack. Last and certainly not least, a treat everyday, but before dinner time (see point number 3). Following those guidelines, I seem to be eating between 1500 and 1700 calories a day, with most of it in the first half of the day.

Going to Jazzersize, gotta go!
Suzie

:cheer: CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR FANTASTIC LOSS .... If I have read your stats correctly ... you have had a 5 pound loss ... which is phenomenal.

I am so thrilled for you .... you have made YOUR COMMITMENT TO SUCCEED AT YOUR WEIGHT LOSS GOALS .... and are on your way to goal :cheers:. Make it a great day ..... As always, Monica :hug: :wn

:cheers: :cheers:

Way to go on the lost weight!!!

See, I know you're a big fan of the Curves gyms, but I just don't like the way they (and Jenny Craig, and yadda yadda yadda) undermine your faith in your own God-given common sense. (See my "diet plan" under my Avatar?). I agree with your idol (Oprah) that the best plans are those we design ourselves. You have to make it work for you.

I never thought "Suzie" and "Jazzersize" were two words I would EVER have reason to place in the same sentence... :D

'Nuff said!! I'm proud of you. And you know better than anyone that I wouldn't say it if it weren't true!

checking in to say good morning( is here dowunder anyway).
Good for you on trusting your own instincts, what works for one person just doesnt work for everyone.
sounds to me like you are on the right track. portion control is such a big issue even with healthy foods, sounds like you are all over it!
Have a great night!
hugs bell :)

Dang, you're smart, suzie!! Most of us had to wait a bunch of pounds and 34 years to get to your stage of "evolution" (okay, *I* had to wait...)

happy loss!!:D

Hey Suzie~!!

Looking for an update girly!

So we started work today. Yes, summer vacation's over for this teacher. We had meetings all day and by 4pm I was exhausted. But I forced my butt to go to Curves anyway (and the rest of me went too).:flower:

Anyway, if anyone was wondering where I've been (elivi)...

Here's the update: Jazzercise was HARD, but that probably just means I need to go more often. I was sore for three days (and by sore I mean, I couldn't go up or down the stairs without tearing up :c( ) On Sunday, just as I was beginning to heal, I got up early and JOGGED A MILE! :bow:

When I was in college, I used to run 15 miles a week. But I gave up running when I got married and moved overseas. Now I'm lucky if I can make it around the block without huffing and puffing. But you know, I was pretty fit in college. And if I ever want to get that way again, well, I have to start somewhere. It's exactly one mile to the end of our road, so I gave it a try. The first half is almost entirely uphill, but did that stop me? Alright, by the time I got to the top of the hill I was running as slow as I possibly could without actually walking, but hey, I made it and that's what matters. And it will be easier tomorrow. But now my calves hurt! :(

Diet's going okay. Nighttimes's still a battle to keep from stuffing my face. How do you ever kick that for good?

Suzie
%%-

Hi Suzie, :wave:

If you want a nighttime snack .... how about making a vegetable bowl using carrots, green pepper, radishes, carrot sticks, raw zucchini, jicama ..... or whatever other vegetables of your choice .. make a dip using Hidden Ranch Salad Dressing Mix (dry) and 1/4 cup Nonfat Cottage Cheese .... or Plain Yogurt.

Not in the mood for veggies ... how about having a fruit bowl (strawberries, blueberries, fresh pineapple) using a fruit flavored yogurt ......

In the mood for crunching ..... make your own corn chips .... using corn tortillas (2 tortillas) cut into thin strips ..... (bake in the oven or you can pan fry them in a frying pan with cooking spray) and make your own salsa with tomatoes, green onions, cilantro

Feel like a cold snack .... freeze a Yogurt Cup

or make yourself a sorbet (freezing a can of crushed pineapple -- put it in the blender with a few pieces of ice) -- sorbet can be made with any canned fruit ... (I personally like pineapple) packed in juice.

Way to go on the exercise ... make it a great evening. As always, Monica

Actually, if you just got back from another of those monster-runs, you probably feel like anything but sunshine...

I so admire your ability to run. I always have. I couldn't run to save my life. I mean that. Remember that part of Independence Day where the building is blown up and it shows all those cars trapped in the street and everyone running away as fast as they can? I would probably have to be content with speed-walking away. That is, provided I don't have my face buried in the glove compartment looking for a snack so that I actually SEE the approaching molten fireball. :)

NOW who's using humor to mask their insecurities??

I TOTALLY understand the evening pitfalls when your body cries out for comfort food. It is a slow uphill battle for me to fight on this one. BUT I have gotten better in the last few weeks and here are the 2 things that have helped me the most:

1) Brushing teeth immediately after dinner. I mean, I have to eat a specified portion of food and then (even if I'm not stuffed yet) hop right up and brush my teeth. Even if it's only 5:00pm.

And yes, this means I have to skip the "evening snack." But I found out that since I never have much control in the evening, that whole evening snack is not a good idea anyway. Even if I plan on a small, healthy snack, can I really trust myself to stop? But once that 5-minute unpleasant teeth-brushing ritual is complete then I KNOW I'm done eating for the day. And no amount of craving is enough to make me want to brush my teeth AGAIN. This has never, ever failed to work. The nights that, for some reason, I forget to brush right after dinner are the ONLY nights I give in to evening temptations.

2) Remembering that I am FREE and IN CONTROL. I have to remember that EVERY food, no matter how good it tastes or how comforting it is, has a "last bite." You know, the bite after which it will be gone, to be replaced by feelings of guilt, failure and more cravings.

For example, yesterday before the TOPS meeting I weighed myself at home and realized that I was going to have a loss of a couple pounds that night. Having forgotten to brush my teeth after dinner, I was getting some dessert for Sammy and thought, heck, I'll have some myself too. I actually ate a little before I remembered about the Last Bite. Then I thought, I can continue eating this even though I really don't want to, and then face the feeling of guilt and failure that will follow, or I can make THIS bite the last one, and feel GREAT because I am back in control.

Once I stopped and thought it out, actually weighed "feeling horrible" against "feeling great," the choice was relatively simple. On that occassion, I made the right choice and DID feel great afterwards.

Not that I suceed every time. Far from it. I am struggling with it just like you!

:flower:

Well, I have a confession to make. And since I haven't written in over a week, :eek: I hope you all won't mind if I indulge...

It was terribly discouraging. After going off the Curves diet and trying my hand at planning my own meals and exercise program, results were not what I had hoped they'd be. In fact, after losing that one measly little pound, after starting to jog again and actually going to Jazzercize once, after a few cheating snacks and a few days not weighing myself because of various reasons...I had actually gained SEVEN pounds!

Bewildering...how does a person gain seven pounds in five days? Especially when that person is still trying to be good and eat right, though, granted, a few more cheating snacks than normal were finding their way down my gillet. But I was running again! And even if I was stuffing my face 24 hours a day, which I was not, how could I have gained so much?

So discouragement has kept me from writing these last few days...okay, several days. :violin: I wasn't sure I could face all you wonderful, encouraging people knowing what a failure I've been, and not knowing why. But I had a talk with Elivi and she straightened me out. And whether anyone cares to read this or not, I need it for myself.

So anyway, I finally broke down and went clothes shopping. Haven't done that for a long time, because, really, I have plenty of great clothes...they just don't fit me anymore. I've kept telling myself that I could squeeze into those outfits in just a few weeks of dieting...until I woke up one morning and realized that I have to start teaching in a few days and I'm down to two skirts and three pair of exercize pants that I can wear comfortably!

I went out and spent 250 dollars, with (gasp) CH's :coach: approval, too. Bought two pairs of jeans, three skirts, a suit, three pairs of slacks and several tops. (Tops have never been a problem, except for the button-up variety). It was a rather dismal shock to discover that I needed size 18 pants, when last I checked I was a size 14. (see what I mean about not having shopped for awhile?)

So I was rather pleased with my selection, sizes not withstanding. But, shock of all shocks, after three days of having these lovely clothes, the jeans don't fit. Yes, believe it or not, they are too big. The same jeans that fit in the dressing room on Tuesday can now be slid right off my hips without undoing the zippers. What to do?

Out of curiosity I stepped on the scale at Curves and found I had dropped again to nearly my posted weight again. That's a loss of five pounds or so in just a few days. What's going on? I've never jumped around like this before. Can anyone explain this?

And what should I do with these new jeans? :-/

Suzie

Let me just say that I AM SO HAPPY YOU ARE HERE.

And not because you are losing weight.
Not because you are a shining example of sucess.
Not because you are perfect and never make any mistakes.

I am glad you are here for the same reason that I am glad when I get an email and it is from you. For the same reason that when the phone rings I am happy to hear your voice on the other end.

I like you.
You can gain 7 pounds and I will still like you.
You could gain 70 pounds and I will like you.
You can lose it all too - I will be happy for you, but I won't like you more because of it!

We're all on this crazy roller coaster together. Maybe tomorrow I'll get on the scale and it will be up 7 pounds for no explainable reason and your post will keep me from panicking. I'll think of you and what you have learned and it will steady me.

Oh, and the pants? Return them! It'll take me 10 years to get into a size 18 and by then they will be out of style. :)

Hi Suzie, :wave:

I have to write this note very quickly because my DH is standing at the doorway ready to escort me lol .....

CONGRATS ON YOUR MARVELOUS SUCCESS :cheer: My friend, DON'T EVER HESITATE COMING TO YOUR JOURNAL ... OR FEELING YOU ARE DISAPPOINTING YOUR DT FAMILY. We care for you .... WE RESPECT YOU ..... and success is something that takes TIME .

If Les (my dh) would give me a few more minutes I would write more ..... I will try to get back (the word is sneak) later ....

BE PROUD OF WHAT YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED ... AND KNOW THAT LOSING WEIGHT TAKES TIME AND PATIENCE .. YOU WILL SUCCEED .... BE KIND TO YOURSELF.. As always, Monica :wn

:)

Yeah. What she said.

love you!

:gift: Hey, girlies! Thanks for writing in my journal!

Elivi- I think I may return the pants, but not yet. I'm going to wash them and see if they shrink enough. Oh, and try to find that receipt...

Monica - Nice to see you again! Thanks for your encouraging

:2 . You're welcome to straighten me out anytime!

I'll write more later; gotta go home soon...
%%- Suzie

SUZIE ...... THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS WORLD WE CANNOT DO ..

WE HAVE TO GIVE OURSELVES TIME TO SUCCEED ....

WE HAVE TO REALIZE THERE IS MORE TO LOSING WEIGHT THAN LOSING POUNDS .. OR INCHES ....

WE NEED TO RESPECT OURSELVES ..... WE NEED TO BELIEVE IN OURSELVES ....

AND BE AWARE OF OUR FRAILTIES ...

Suzie, YOU WILL SUCCEED ..... the journey to success is something YOU CAN AND WILL ACHIEVE Don't put a time limit on your success ..... if you lose weight slowly THE FACT REMAINS YOU ARE LOSING WEIGHT ...

Your journal is your means to communicate what you are feeling .. WE ARE ALL EMOTIONAL EATERS ... WE HAVE TO LEARN TO USE WHATEVER MEANS WE HAVE AVAILABLE TO RELEASE OUR FEELINGS WITH SOMETHING OTHER THAN FOOD.

Make it a great day ..... put a :) on your face . And I may not always post in your Journal .... but when you write in your journal I ALWAYS READ YOUR ENTRY. As always, Monica :hug: :wn

:balloons: Good morning to me! Good morning to me!

Class is going to start in a few, so I don't have much time to write. Teaching this year is so much easier than I thought it was going to be! Partly because last year I was teaching at the HIGH SCHOOL FOR YOUNG DEMONS-IN-TRAINING. And this year I'm at private school. :cheers: The kids are very nearly angels; well, as close to angels as any 15-18 year olds can be when they've got their fare share of hormones and emotions and attitudes...but they are actually good kids, and what a blessed relief.

Also, I'm only teaching 2 80-minute classes every day, AND I have student workers to do my bidding (smiley face doing "evil laugh"). I am so blessed with my job. Okay, so it only pays $1000 a month, but CH :coach: makes enough for us to live on, so we're okay.

Love you all!
%%- Suzie

Hi Suzie,
It’s unbelievable all the things teachers go through. I am a teacher’s assistant. I did have plans to become a teacher but after working in school for over six years I have seen too many things that have left me discourage. I honestly don’t think I could handle all the stress of teaching.
My hat goes off to you.


Mia

Greetings again from my office!

This is really my dream job...I mean, I get to work 20 minutes before my class starts, and there's nothing for me to do! My student workers grade papers, they make photo copies, they file and record and clean the classroom. Last year I put in 10-11 hour days at the aforementioned YDHS (young demons high school). Really; I would often get to school at 6:30 am and leave at 5:30 pm. And the students were little h*llions, as I said before, and I was getting paid (get this) $52 dollars a day. That's less than minimun wage, for work that would cause a nervous breakdown for most of us non-sadistic folk.

And here I am at a private boarding high school teaching teenagers whose parents DO give a d*mn, and it makes all the difference in the world. Mia, not a day went by last year that I didnt' wonder if I was in the wrong profession. But now I know that what I wanted to do was TEACH, and now I get to.

Well, enough bragging. I haven't said a darn thing about my weight in days, and today I dont' intend to. I have no idea how it's doing. These days my eating schedule is thrown off because of my classes. Like right now it's 5:00 and I haven't had a thing since lunch; that's not normal for me. Let's pray I just don't go home and binge because I feel deprived!

But hey, I am exercising regularly. Hurt my knee something fierce yesterday, so today at Curves I only did the machines (and not the Squat, Monica!). I could barely walk, so the recovery stations were out of the question. But it feels better now.

Gotta go make dinner, and check up on my sweet puppies, Harry and Ginny (yes, and we have a cat named Luna, all you Harry Potter fans who have actually read the fifth book!)

Suzie

Suzie,
I'm so happy that you found a better position at a better school. We have lost great teachers to other districts because of the low pay and because of all the b.s.
The biggest gripe the teachers have here (besides pay) is the fact that they don't even have time to teach everything they would love to teach. Discipline takes up about 75 % of the time.

The fact that you still went to Curves with a bad knee shows great effort and determination.
Great job!

Mia

:sick: This has happened just once before...about a year ago...

I woke up at 5:30 this morning in terrible pain. It felt like someone had just kicked me in the chest...right in the center of my ribs, in that hollow place just below my breasts. It hurt to breathe...I had to get up and walk around, and I was so scared, kind of panicky, like, "what's happening to me?"

It got so bad at one point that I woke up CH, gasping, "Help me!" But what could he do? I suppose he could have called an ambulance or something, but we're not really like that here, and like I said, this has happened once before, and I didn't die...

Through trial and error I realized that if I sat down the pain would slowly recede, but if I laid down or stood up, it came back again in full force, especially if I laid down...so I wrapped up in a blanket on the couch and tried to read a book...:( no more sleep anyway. The pain's gone now but I'm still scared.

What's wrong with me? I have no idea...

Suzie

Dear Suzie,

I just read your post ...... and I have experienced something similar ....

Just a suggestion my friend .... start noting info on how often this occurs .... the time of day etc . .... the duration etc. .....it might be information that your doctor can help determine what is going on ......

Keep us posted as to how things are going ...Make it a great day. Take care of yourself. As always, Monica :hug: :wn

Are you okay sweetie! You're scaring me!!

I want you to see the doctor about this - I'm not kidding. If you don't I'm going to call the ambulence myself!

Here's something else you can do - go to WebMD.com, they have a little tool called the "symptom checker" or something like that. You put in your symptoms and they tell you what you have. Please do this for me!

:coach: :doc: :sb

Time for that dreaded once-a-year-I-wouldn't-do-this-if-I-didn't-need-birth-control doctor's visit. Maybe I'll mention that middle of the night chest pains episode and see what they think.
:nurse:

In six weeks (from yesterday) my best friend Tara is getting married, and I want to look my best in my bridesmaid's dress! So starting today, I'm going to try to be extra firm with myself; exercise EVERYDAY and stay away from the sweets! Drink lots of water whether I feel like it or not and get in my 5-9 fruits and veggies daily (so I won't feel so much like grabbing the peanut butter). Encourage me, please!

:cheer: Suzie

You can do it suzie!!

:up:

So what have you done right today??

Hi Suzie,

I would like you to CHANGE YOUR WORDING
REMOVE THE WORD .....
"Maybe" I will mention AND INSERT THE WORDS I WILL MENTION ....
In the paragraph where you state "I am going to try" ... INSERT THE WORDS I AM GOING TO SUCCEED


Now we both know THAT YOU CAN AND WILL SUCCEED. Keep your focus on your GOAL.

Plan your menu (that includes breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks) for the week. Go for variety ..... and drink :water: before, during and after each meal .....

There is nothing you cannot do .... SUCCESS IS YOURS TO ATTAIN. Make it a great day. As always, Monica :hug:

I want to know what the doctor said!!

:c(

And how are you doing, babe? Been thinking about you today.

Monica,

LOL you get me every time!:up:

Actually, I DID ask my doctor about the chest pains and she said it's probably a form of heartburn, which is a little misleading since it has more to do with your stomach than your heart. :sweety:
She said that would explain perfectly why the pain decreased when I sat up but increased when I laid down, and why it only happened in the middle of the night. I thought that made perfect sence...Now if I could just remember what I ate that night...:hm:

Thanks for straightening me out! I realize that the reason I said "I am going to try" was because I actually DIDN'T believe, really and truly and with all my heart, that I would succeed. After I read your letter, I pondered how I would feel if I 100% believed that I would be successful in losing weight during this 6-week challenge of mine...And I would feel so excited and happy! And I think that feeling would actually make it so much easier to be successful...so it's true what you say at the end of all your posts, isn't it?

Thanks so much, Monica! Here goes:

:jn I'm challenging myself to lose weight during this six week challenge and I WILL BE SUCCESSFUL! I'm going to look great in that bridesmaid dress because I CAN DO IT! :dn

Suzie

BRAVO SUZIE ....

As always, Monica :hug:

Hi Suzie :wave:

I was reading about your pain that you had the other night. I wanted to share with you my story.

Here and there for the last oh I dont know ten years, I have got what I called "THE BODY CRAMP" as the years went by it became worse. I would get a sharp pain underneath my breast and down my arm. I also would feel pain in my head and down through my jaw line as if I were having what I think to be a stroke. Over the years it became worse and worse, It would last for about 40 to 45 minutes, and taking a hot bath sometimes helped. I always felt wiped out the next day for it. I went to the Dr. several times though out the years, and was put on anit depressants, Phetermine, told to it was Anxiety, and or anxiety attacks. I was freaked because My grandfather had died at 32 from mass heart attack. Well now my pain is worse and I am starting to get heartburn to the point that my ears are ringing. So back to the doc. I happen to see a female pratitioner, who said HMMM it sounds like Acid Reflux. Gave me some pills and whala! I feel so much better. the funky pains and bloating of this or that was gone. Going to bed at night makes it worse because when you lay down the acid travels up, and can get trapped in little pockets causing pressure.

Soory I wrote a book. This may not be your experiance, But I felt like I could relate and wanted to share my story in hopes that maybe it may help. Take it or leave it. Oh and by the way Acid Reflux is not associated with your weight. All though you do have to watch what you eat. I dont now that I am on Aciphex. I think Whenever I ate beans it happened, I think...

Anywhoos. Good luck on your new challange. You can do it. We can be what we want to be if we try.

Peace out......Maxi

:blah: Hi Maxi!

I haven't had all of your symptoms...the jaw and arm pain, for instance. But my doctor did say mine was probably a type of Acid Reflux too. I think it's caused by different foods for each person...for example, my sister gets heartburn after eating spicy foods or chocolate. But I didn't eat anything like that the night before this happened to me. If I remember right, I had mostly bland food, but later than usual. Usually I finish eating 3-4 hours before going to bed, but this was one of those binging nights. :down:

B-) Monica, I tried something different at Curves today. Usually I just do the 2 recommended circuits and stretches afterwards, but today I got up early and felt like a little more of a workout, so I did 3 circuits, and for the last one I skipped the recovery stations and just did the machines for 1 minute each. Sometimes the 30 seconds just don't do it for me anymore, my muscles are saying, "Is that it? That was nothing!" So I tried to really exhaust them on that last round. It was kind of fun, although some ladies were shooting funny looks my way, like, "Hey, aren't you almost finished?" and "Why aren't you changing stations?" :lift:

Making it a great day...

Good Morning Suzie,

GOOD FOR YOU :up: I found it the same way when I was going to Curves doing the 30 minutes and the required circuit just wasn't enough -- I started upping the minutes gradually and I did get to one hour ......

I really miss not going to Curves ... and I am chomping at the bit to get back .... now every time I do something I am so careful IT IS DISGUSTING ....

I am so pleased and proud of your progress .... Make it a great day. Take care . As always, Monica :hug:

:super: good morning!

Here's what I've done RIGHT so far (elivi :sweety: ):

Got up early and jogged one mile. I've found a new route in town that is much nicer, meaning it's NOT straight up hill, has sidewalks, and isn't on a major highway. So I'll probably be sticking with this one, at least until the first snowfall of the year.:snow:

Breakfast: 1 cup granola, 1/2 cup skim milk, 1 banana

Morning snack: 1 whole wheat English muffin with cream cheese and sliced deli turkey, 1 nectarine

I wasn't really hungry for the snack, but I'm leaving for class soon and I know I'll be hungry WAY before lunch if I don't put something more in my stomach.

Day's young, but so far, I'm pretty pround of myself...:tongue:arty:

Good Morning Suzie, :wave:

Just stopping by to see how you are doing ... you know I find if I eat a good breakfast .... I don't get as hungry ... it is only when I cut back that I tend to hasten the lunch hour (not eat when I usually do) .... and start looking for food ...

Take care of yourself ... and have and make it a fantastic Labor Day weekend. As always, Monica :hug: :wn

Happy Labor Day!

Of course, here at the good ol' boarding school, we have classes as usual. We celebrate labor day by, you guessed it, laboring! :( But, since my job is practically perfect in every other way, I won't complain too loundly.

Anyway, I found I couldn't exercize this morning, even though I had gotten up early to do just that. Curves was closed, and it was raining cats and dogs (unfortunately, not MY cat and dogs; they were safe and dry inside the house, the little stinkers) so I couldn't go jogging. Ah, not the best way to start the week, but it'll be okay.

Five weeks until Tara's wedding! :rose:

Hi Suzie!!

Sorry I haven't written so long. I've been in bed with a nasty stomach virus :sick: .

Horrible, vindictive bugger.

Anyway, trying to catch up now on diettalk. You are doing so well - I read your post to Monica when you challenged yourself for the next six weeks, and talked about how it felt to REALLY believe you could do it, and all my little light switches were flipping on. Good girl.

So your first week of 6 is gone - how did you do? What did you learn about yourself?

:D What's with the new smiles? Aren't they great fun?

What I've done right so far...(drumroll please)

Work-out: 45 minutes at the good ol' Curves gym (at 6:30 am no less) :mus:

Breakfast: 1 bowl of whole-grain cereal with raisens and strawberries, enough milk to make it wet (I hate measuring cups!)

More to follow! But now, just for fun...

Last night I was supervising (boarding school term for watching students hopefully not kill themselves or each other and keeping the couples from making out behind the gym) during the recreation period. What do high school kids do for exercise in the evening? Well, last night the boys played basketball and the girls line-danced. Yes, indeed. One of my students (a really terrific gal) brought her CD player to the gymnasium and was teaching the other girls how to do the dances that went with each song. I watched from a comfortable, authority-figure-just-supervising-distance. "Come, on, Miss!" they called. "You wanna dance with us?" Ha-ha! Right. Some of my own students were in that bunch. And although I didn't think it would be good for them to see their austere (did I use that word right?) Geometry teacher line-dancing (I mean, line-dancing BADLY), especially to songs like "Shake What Yo' Mamma Gave Ya," you should have seen me trying it out afterwards in the privacy of my own, dark and locked-up classroom....:dc

How great that your students want to include you ? That means they admire you. Why didn't you join in and shake your booty? :dn: .... LOL I remember how my oldest grandson loved it when I danced with Les (lol he stood still and I danced) ....

You mentioned you hated measuring cups ... I understand but to this day I consider them my weight loss tools that I have to use because if I didn't my portion control would be :tomato:.

I find it difficult on the occasions we go out to eat ..... BECAUSE WITHOUT MY WEIGHT LOSS TOOLS ... I OVEREAT So that I don't overeat, I cut my meal in half ..... except for the salad I eat every thing ... not a morsel of lettuce is left behind ..

Make it a great day .... and have and make it a fantastic weekend. As always, Monica :hug:

I hope you have and make it a terrific weekend.

I have not cheated all day!

Oh, I am so proud. Cheating is my big problem, you know, eating something I didn't plan to eat just because it's calling my name, or eating something and pretending I didn't so I don't have to count the calories...

But today I've been good! Really, really good. I've counted and recorded every bite that entered my mouth, and there were several bites that wanted to enter, but didn't, because I didn't want to have to record them and subtract their calories from my daily allowance.

And I've stayed within my calorie goal today, and all before 7:00pm!:up:

Oh, I know there are several diettalkers out there for whom this is not such a big deal, you're reading this and saying, "So what?" But for me, it's a milestone.

Oh, and Monica, I finally took your advice and visited FitDay.com. That is a fabulous website...I'm already hooked! Thanks so much...:hop:

So now, I'm getting OUT OF THE HOUSE before the Pringles start calling...shopping should burn some calories and keep me away from the pantry.

Way to go, self!:cheers:

Dear Suzie, :wave:

I AM SO PLEASED AND PROUD OF YOU ....:up:; are you aware of what a MAJOR STEP FORWARD YOU HAVE MADE IN YOUR WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM.

I hope you know the only time we should look back is TO LEARN FROM OUR MISTAKES. No matter how long we are on this weight loss journey WE WILL MAKE MISTAKES, WE WILL MAKE POOR CHOICES .... and while we make these mistakes and poor choices WE LEARN AND WE BENEFIT FROM OUR MISTAKES.

When I was young I remember my father saying to me ... YOU CAN MAKE A MISTAKE ONCE .. YOU CAN MAKE A MISTAKE TWICE ... BUT IF YOU KEEP MAKING THE SAME MISTAKE .... IT IS NOT A MISTAKE IT IS YOUR CHOICE. The fact that you left the house because you didn't want to hear the "Pringles" :coach: calling you ..... I want to make a suggestion next time .... if there is a next time choose another product other than the Pringles so that what is calling you will benefit your success.

Again CONGRATULATIONS ..... ON YOUR MARVELOUS STEP FORWARD As always, Monica