Well, here I sit...on the downward slope of this weight loss trip, over halfway home...feels so good. Its so hard to believe that I was so big, so uncomfortable...so yearning to be fit and healthy.
I think it's time to think back, reflect on the past and log my feelings. Maybe this will help me, be therapeutic in a way, we shall see...
The last time I stepped on that sale, the red numbers lit up"263". I jumped off. Scared. Sad. Immobilized. When I could move again, I went and had some chips...and thus grew bigger, but never got on that scale again...for a LONG time. That was around the fall/winter of 2001. I gained and gained after that, got married January 31, 2002 and the pictures are insane, I had to be close to 300 by then, but still would not get on that scale.
My gram died in February of that year, it was then I really noticed I had gained and I could not ignore it anymore. I was so uncomfortable in anything I tried to put on for the services. I went to Lane Bryant and the 26/28 tops were kind of snug...I stood in the dressing room, so upset...what was I going to do? Eat, thats what...
I don't think I gained too much more after that point, but I still was eating and not doing anything about it. Nor was anyone else. My spouse never said a word, loved me no matter what. The rest of my family didn't udder a word, neither did my friends. No one ever said, "wow Renea, you are gaining alot of weight" or anything of the kind...so no worries, right?
I have always wanted to be a NY state trooper, but never thought I could, I have always been over weight, out of shape...not trooper material. Working where I do and doing store loss prevention, I see the troopers almost everyday...ahh, to have that job, I would give anything...but still, nothing clicked with me.
One day, while at work, I felt kind of sick, like the flue was setting in...and it was! I had to go home and I was so sick for a few days. Home and in bed, so sick, all I could keep down was minimal fluids, I must have lost a few pounds. When I went to work after feeling better, my size 24 and 26 jeans were't oh so tight, like they were before. They were still tight, but I could breathe a bit better. Ah, light bulb moment. I can do this...but still would not step on that scale.
This went on for a month or so, and people noticed I was losing. First my boss, "Renea, are you losing weight?" Well yes I was! Hicks, my spouse noticed...I noticed. It was great.
Then I got the nerve to get on that scale, I knew I needed to make up and be friends again. Nervous, afraid I put one foot on, then the next...260. SO I was losing! Now I was mad...I knew I had lost a bit of weight by this point, I was and still am mad that I didn't get on that scale the day I noticed I was losing, after the flu...I would just love to really know my highest weight. It had to be around 300 as I mentioned above. That is why I have 263 as my starting weight, that is the last real known weight amount that I have.
Time went on, I saw 250 and 240 and then there was 235, and I hit my first plautue...I was so upset , wanting to give up. And I did, no workouts for that summer. Went on vacation, and ate bad. Knew what I was doing too, that was sad. Still had these dreams of being a trooper, had even signed up for the written test, was on my way...my that vacation, I was going back to bad habits. Then we went to 6 flags, and Hicks wanted to go on the sky coaster...NO WAY could I do that...NO WAY! Hicks and I got in a fight and everything. He was so upset, he wouldn't go without me, but the thought of being strapped in a sling and being put up almost 200 feet in the air and then dropped for a free fall, was just not my idea of fun. But then I had another light bulb moment...if I can do this, I can do anything. So I went and paid the people and didn't let Hicks know it, then told him we had to go meet some family members. Walked to wards the sky coaster, and looked at him...his eyes lit up...I told him, "if I can do this then I can do anything...that includes lose this weight" And so away we went...it was so amazing, the ground comes so fast and then the sling thing catches you and then...I realized I did it!!! And that was when I knew I could do this, and I started to eat right from that moment on. Got back form vacation nd the scale was back up to around 241-243ish. I vowed to never let that happen again...I will not gain and bloat back up...NO WAY!
I continued to lose, never thought I would see 215, 210, 205, 200. If someone told me that I got the flu that a year and 1/2 later, that I would be at 199...I would have told them they were insane! But I am...I REALLY am, and it feels great! And now I have 49 more to go, and then I will be at an okay weight for the troopers, as long as I pass everything else, I will be on my way. So this is the home stretch...less that 50 to go. AMAZING!
I have had some set backs here and there, as I am sure everyone does. Did great till my mom died, wasn't ready to be 26 and not have my mom. She was my biggest cheerleader for weight loss, she would tell me all the time how great I was doing, she would brag to EVERYONE how much I had lost, how great I looked and how proud she was of me. Her passing was and still is so hard, after she dies I was on a stand still. I didn't gain, but I didn't lose either. Then something clicked with me the other day, Mom would want me to go, move and lose, thus another light bulb moment...I miss mom so much, but I know she is around me all the time, and she wants nothing more than for me to do this and lose the weight. So thats is where I am now. I came back from vacation, to which I ate bad...but didn't gain, and now I am back on track. Eating right, drinking that H2O and working out...feeling good. Its at this point that I want to start journaling and keeping track on the home stretch.
SO far today, I have had watermelon and cantaloupe and a hand full of grapes. No lunch yet, but I will have the remained to fruit then. I am at work till four then I have to go to the animal shelter, Hicks and I volunteer there Mondays and Tuesdays. Not sure what I will do for a workout tonight, I pulled something in my leg so I have been taking it semi-easy this week, but I will get something in. I have to get up mega early and do my part time job at 4 am, so I know its bed early for me tonight, full day Weds.
SO that is my first journal entry, a bit of a bio, but now its started and it was be a great thing to have.

Oh, I guess I should explain the name of my journal. I love the fall, its really what I live for, I look so forward to the colors that the leaves bring, the smell of crisp cool upstate ny air, carving pumpkins, roasting the seeds, hay rides, cool autumn walking...everything about it makes me happy, like my own personal utopia, thats what I want everyday...to feel like I am enjoying a perfect fall day. So thats what I yearn for... my definition of happiness.

:wave: WOW Sophie.... What a read.......

What a inspiration you are.....REally! You will do this. I am sorry about your MOM..... I to am very close to mine even though we live so far away..... I love that your goal is to be a state trooper.... Soon you will be there...... I look forward to joining you on your journey to a better you....

Thanks Maximum...stay close to your mom and take care of each other, its so hard without your mom.

soph- i just was browsing journals and i saw yours here... i am so proud of you... your so inspiring!!!!! and the part about your mom made me cry. your mom sounds just like mine. she is always so supportive of my weight loss and she loves to brag about my losses. I have to agree that you can do anything... you are so strong willed and i give you so much credit. I was feeling down about my plateau and i am glad i came and read your journal.. so inspiring!! I cant wait for the fall either... it is the most beautiful time of the year. warm comfy sweaters... walking over crunchy leaves and the crisp air. hopefully this autumn will be beautiful for both of us!

talk to you soon:)

Well...what a day! Weigh in is today, still at 199...I only got in 181 minutes of workout this week, I should have done more but due to my leg I could not...but leg is a bit better so I am on the go! I did walk away the pounds 1 mile last night, felt good. Today is my long ass day, 4 am till 4 pm and then off to do my other chores, so not sure if I will get a workout in or not...we will see, depends on how tired I am.
Hicks just called me, he got bit by a barn cat, sent home, now what?!?!? So now his hands all messed up, and its a wait and see game now. Well this is just great! :( He will call me when he gets home, I just hope he is alright...what a day!
LM~hey there girl, glad you stopped in, and glad I inspired you. We have some a long way, the AA's really help too. We can and will do this, I will bet my life on it!!! As for the upcoming fall...we are going to look so good by then, sportin our new sweaters and weighing WAY below 200...LOOK OUT WORLD!!! Thanks for stopping in.
I better go and worry now...LOL. :(

Hello,

you are so inspiring. your story is truly wonderful and you are doing so good. very nice to see stories like yours. i too have done good and bad and am now on track too and knowing i can do this and needing to do this for my own health and love for myself.

you are an amzing woman.

am so sorry about the loss of your mom too. i cant even imagine a loss such as that.

you hang in there and i am rooting for you all the way!

take care.

Hi sophie,
I don't pop in the journals too much but sure glad that I stumbled on yours. I have always found you an inspiration since I have joined diettalk. I have never needed as much motivation as I have in the last few weeks. Reading your journal today has helped me. You are a strong woman and you will do this. We both will :)
Take care

Maryse

Well, update on Hicks hand got home, and his hand was HUGE...just lovely:( His boss told him not to go to ER or Doc, so he went to our Amish friend, she put some kind of stuff on it, this took alot of the burning away, then she soaked his hand in wood ashes and hot hot water for an hour, he has to go back there today for another soaking. Needless to say, he is going to go look for another job. The bosses is just jerks there, he has been there too long and works way too hard to be treated like crap...its just so hard in the north country to find a job of any kind. So that is where we are at. This really sucks. Then we got in a big fight because the whole situation is stressful, we hardly ever fight...so needless to say,I didn't get a workout in...thats okay, it was such a long day, 4am to 4pm working then dealing with his hand, I just was tired...so day off last night for me. Tonight we are doing something with Hicks mom and her friend, but we will be home early enough to get workout in.
Food was okay yesterday. I had come cantaloupe and a banana for breakfast, no lunch...too worried about Hicks, I know, thats bad...Dinner was a salad from pizza hut and too tiny pieces of plan cheese pizza, I felt good about the pizza due to no lunch. Then my bro in law made a low fat white cake, he also made home made not so low fat peanut butter frosting...lol. I had a really small piece. Although I did have the cake and pizza, I felt good about the eating for the day. Today I have had a bowl of cereal, I never have that, it was good and a banana. I have watermelon and cantaloupe for lunch. Not sure what we will have for dinner, but with Hicks going to Amish, I am sure it will be some sort of fresh produce...yummy!!!
I am off work Friday, then Sat we are working a short day and going to a Blue Rodeo concert, Sunday a Renaissance festival...busy weekend for me...and I will stay away from all the bad foods that will be all around me all weekend. That is my mini challenge for myself...I will do it!!!
Well I better get moving and do some work at work.
Minnie and Maryse, thanks for the kind words, I am glad you enjoyed my weight loss story so far. Take care, you both have done so well thus far also, we should all be proud!!

Lunch~3/4 of cantaloupe and a bit of watermelon, it wasn't that great so I threw it away.
I work in mall, the smells from the food court seemed to sift in today, but I stayed focused and fought the urge to go and get anything else for lunch, grabbed my H2O and kept right on working! Good for me!

Hi Sophie,
Just saw your journal here and decided to take a peek.........boy am I sure glad that I did. I love the fact you shared such a peronal part of your life with all of us.....You are such an inspiration, to us all. I understand only to well about the loss of your mom, I lost my dad when I was just "18", yikes that was eons ago............anyway you keep your dream in sight as I am sure you will make it a reality. ...........and as for autumn, I too love all the things you mentioned but being a Florida gal at heart it makes me sad too, because the snow will be flying shortly...lol Check with ya laterzzzzzzzz

Hello, had Friday off and I will have Sunday off, so I will be back here Monday. Had a rough day off, Hicks went and had hand looked at, now everything will be a huge mess. I will write more when I know more.
Diet wise, I am diettalker of the week, how cool is that?! I am so proud, I have worked so hard, took some time off after mom died, but back on track...I will make it! I did Blast off and WATP abs 1 mile, tonight going to concert and Sunday Renaissance, should be a great weekend.
Having a hard time at work, Christi the girl here is being such a jerk. We will be having a store meeting and I can't wait. It should be Monday...should be fun...8-|
I better go, lots to do today, more on Monday.
Blue~thanks for stopping in, always nice to have visitors. Sorry to read about losing your dad, you were so young, it may seem like years ago, but I am sure it sometimes feels like yesterday, take care and see ya on the AA's

Well, ate great at the concert, didn't cheat at all, didn't eat anything there at all! The concert was amazing, we were so close ya could have touched them. Had a great time. The Renaissance festival was nice, had okay food, they didn't have anything that was really the greatest for you to eat. Had a chicken wrap, strawberry shortcake for lunch, for dinner we had personal pizza's, not the greatest choice, but there was nothing else. I did WATP 1 mile for abs(15) and a walk outside(90) I won't count the hours of walking I did at the fair...so hot outside, thought I was dying walking around for all those hours...HOT!!!
Hicks hand seems to be getting better with the meds. Health people are going to barn today to look for cat. His hours were cut, so funny...a few weeks ago he was in charge of so many things there, now all he can do is milk or push...when asking bosses about why the cut, they said, well now we have more workers, do you don't have to do everything...yeah okay...bull sh*t...so today he went to apply at other farms,I hope with good results...its so stressful not knowing what will happen, we an't afford not to have him working...:( so today is a bad day...I hope to have a better night, I am sick of worrying...better go, need to get work done here at my job...

I am almost done work, meeting is postponed till Tuesday at 3:30, should prove interesting...Hicks called and no job yet, the man said he would all sometime this week, I hate being so stressed out.:( I bought a new cookbook, can't wait to get cooler weather and make new things, its a fall cookbook, with cool facts about leaves and things, I just love it. I guess I better get to the reason I signed on here. Lunch:lettuce, tomato, cheese and spicy mustard sandwich on 12 grain bread. I think we may have a real light dinner, just some cucumbers and some pesto salad, sounds yummy! Better go....

Eatting was great yesterday. Posted brk and lunch yesterday, dinner had a lean pocket and some watermelon. Snack some WOW plain chips with BBQ sauce. Drank lots of water also. Today, so far I have had a bowl of high fiber cereal with 2% milk,it was so yummy. Lunch will be a banana and some cantaloupe. Last night went for a good moon lit walk with Nikki, 60 minutes, would have done more but we both had to pee so bad!!!
The health department man called and talked to me today about Hicks' bite, they can't find the cat now...just great! Its so frightening to think about rabies and then have the stress of his hours getting cut which means less money. I have just had too much stress for a year. Its so hard to be so young and be without my mom, she would have known all the answers, no one to really turn to anymore, seems like everyone turns to me...who do I ask? I just keep plugging along.
I will be so honest, getting really upset with the fact that I have been on plan for over 3 weeks, I mean really on plan and no change on that scale. I have noticed a few things that are different, which makes me understand that I am toning up, just not losing. Which is great, but I would love to see that scale a moving. I have noticed that my clothes are way bigger on me now then they were before vacation, no change in weight so must just be toning. I also noticed that my back is getting shape to it, the rolls are going away, I used to have 3 on each side, it was so bad, so now they have mostly gone:) One place I really noticed was to feel and look from my butt to my back, there used to be a big roll there and now its a smooth road! This is so cool, Hicks noticed also. Sometime I have to point some of the small changes out to him, I know when you are around someone all the time, its hard to notice, but with the above mentioned differences, he said something to me about them...so cool! He also said that he has noticed with my lower belly, this was always big on me, never had too much of a problem with upper, so for him to say, "I can really tell when I go to hug you and REALLY REALLY tell when I go to hold you at night" So, I must be doing something right!
I know that if I made a big batch of cabbage soup I could get a jump start on the scale, that always works for me, not the cabbage soup diet, just having it for dinner and lunch, having it for one meal a day for a few days always works for me, but its been too hot for that...I can't wait for fall...YEARNING YEARNING YEARNING!!!
Better get some work done, plus I need to get some other posts done. Have store meeting today at 3:30, my boss says I have to eb nice...LOL, he knows me too well, its not that I am not nice, its that I am too honest...we will see what happens.

Eating went great yesterday, workouts have been fair...weigh in was today and NOTHING...NO LOSS!! Still 199, I think I will be here forever! I upped my protein, I think I need more, it was kind of low. Bought trail mix and have been snaking on that. Had a lean pocket for breakfast. Did my bread job today, so there is 2 hours of bending, squatting, lifting and walking from4-6. Last night did WATP 1 with weights through the whole video, not just the weight part. Arms could feel it, felt great.
Hicks's is having the same old **** at work, hours have been Really cut, health department was there and got the cat. When he as going down stairs, Linda (boss) went behind him and said, "don't fall down the stairs" What a jerk. He is contacting a lawyer today. So much stress, with his hours cut like that, there is no way we can afford our bills now...who knows what will happen now.
I am at work, caught more shoplifters...yeah for me.
I better go, now troopers will be here...more later.

Renee,

Can I just say that I have really enjoyed reading your journal. It's been inspirational for me. Nice to find another "fall" girl on DT too. I know exactly what you mean about the euphoria of that time of year. Well it will be here soon!

You are doing fantastic and will continue to do so!!

Sorry to hear you are stressed Sohp, but then who wouldnt be........I have been reading about what has happened to your husband, and have to agree I would be suing the pants off of the jerk. Who in the hell does he think he is anyways/ Not to mention it is his duty as an employer to have your husband checked out, I hope and pray that things turn themsleves around for you folks. I love your journal it is very well written, I scribble in mine every now and again...LoL. Hang tough hun that scale will move, and soon....cuz if you are anything like me if it doesnt it will be tossed across the room :rofl: I just wanted to stop in and say a quick hello to you, and compliment your journal it is very inspiring, talk at ya later...........

Hey there Blue, thanks for stopping in. I am glad you enjoy my journal, I enjoy yours also, I really enjoy you being a member of the AA's, your workout routine is always motivational. See ya on the buddy thread!
Well, no news with Hicks at work, all I know is he is really upset. Its like a wait and see game, called a lawyer, and they are calling him back today. I just hate all this, I don't know how we will afford this mess...No way we can afford our bills with that cut in pay...what a mess
On to diet news, no work out last night, seeings how I worked from 4-4 and then went and did odd jobs for a man and got home from that at 7 then had to go to sis-in-laws for a late dinner, I was too beat, and needed to just talk with Hicks...so I will get a good one in tonight. I ordered the Firm, I am really excited about it. Before my mom died I was telling her I thought I was going to order it. Well, after she died, I called and did, but something happened and the order never went through, so today I took some of the money she left me and bought it, so its like a gift from mom, so I can't wait for it to get here. I need to and want to tone up...I need to for th Troopers...need my arms to be in tip top shape, and they need work, so I will start with The firm and then if everything works out and they take me, I will have to join a gym 6 months before I go and really bulk up my upper body, so baby steps, the firm first..thanks mom.
Speaking of mom, today is her best friends Birthday, the night Mom died, Mrs M and I went in the room together, its funny, as mom was sick most of my life, Mrs M was ALWAYS there for me, I can remember one time, oh lord, I had to be in about 7th or 8th grade, mom was rally sick and I was sitting up watching her to make sure she was still breathing, mom knew how tired I was, so she tole me to go in to bed and she would cal me if there was something wrong, I can remeber asking her, "how will I know, how will I hear you" and she said,"you just will" well I went to bed, knowing mom was always right. I must have been sleeping for a bit and I could hear her call my name, it was so faint and small...I went out and she could hardly breath, I didn't know what to do, at that time, we didn't have 911...so I called Mrs. M. She lived a few houses down the road, 2 seconds later, she was there, and she called the rescue squad and got mom there, mom died that night and they brought her back, that was one time when he was there for me and mom. What a great friend, I just love her to death. She called another time, she came over to visit and mom had cardiac arrest, if she had not came over at that time, mom would have been gone then. God bless Mrs.M, I feel so lost without my mom and felt lost all the times she was sick while I was growing up, but Mrs, M was always there and helped me find my way. She always told mom she would take care of me, so I wanted to give her a nice gift. I collect Boyds Bears and I found a new one, its an angel dressed in blue, that was mom's favorite color, its holding a candle that really lights up. I got her that and a frog notebook. Frogs were mom's favorite thing, it was crazy, Frogs EVERYWHERE, thought I was living in a swamp. had a huge frog on her casket instead of flowers, and all the flowers had frogs in them...okay I am off the topic, guess I am really missing mom today, so I hope Mrs M has a great birthday. And I hope mom is happy she bought me the firm.

Well, in short,meeting with Hicks adn boss went okay, she said he had bad attitude and he said you cut my hours due to being bit and she didn't correct him. He will only have 30-35 hours from now on. I saw an ad in paper for part time milker, he called and he goes in to meet guy Monday, if he gets it, it will compensate for the lost hours. It will workout if he gets it...Oh I really hope so!
AS far as dieting goes, ate great Thursday, but felt like poo, so didn't do any workout, so already used my two days off, Weds and Thurs... Friday was a good day off w/ Hicks. But had to go with friend for Chinese, ate too much, did a 3 mile walk outside, 60 minutes. Today, we are going to a place called East Side Mario's...I will try to be good...lol. I will be good. They do have some healthy choices on menu. Suday, going with bro and sis in law school shopping, they want to go to Applebees, I know they have healthy things to. I will make right choices, the Chinese make me feel so full and sick. I didn't pig out or binge, really, but I still felt so sick and today I feel really bloated...YUCK!!
AS I stated above, feeling really yucky, I am so sick of being fat. I look at pictures of me last year, close to 300 and I KNOW I have lost alot, but the fact that I am still at 199, and the scale isn't moving, I feel like ****. Its funny,my sister in law has lost 25 pounds, she was at 165, and is down to 140. I am so happy for her...we workout together, she is one of my best friends, I am not the jealous kind of person, but I need to write thins and get it off my chest. Here is what happened: Hicks aunt came to town last night, she is a moron, really...anyway. Nikki and I had gone for a walk, when we got back she was there, we walked in the door and she said to Nikki, "oh your mom was right, you have lost so much weight" I was right there and she knows I have lost over double of what she has lost and she didn't say a word. Hicks said later, that I had lost a lot too, and she still didn't say I did, she said, its hard to tell when someone is still overweight!!!! So I wanted to smother her while she was sleeping, and now I am having the worst time with it. Today I hate that I have lost so much and I am STILL at 199...OVERWEIGHT AND FAT. God, I am mad at myself for letting someone effect me like that and I am mad at myself for still being fat...I know I have worked hard and it takes time, but I am still upset. Then the fact that I ate the chines and I am bloated today DOES NOT HELP. I am never like this, I hate people who are like "oh poor me" I hate that I feel like this today. I hate that today i look in that mirror and see the fat Renea, not the Renea that was really obese and is smaller and is working on it...I need to see that scale move this week, I just need that kind of stimulation.
Okay I am done...Sunday will be a good day. I better go know and do work.

Eating had been okay, had to go out to dinner THREE times this weekend, so today the sale is showing a gain, but I know that is just because I did eat extra, but a few good hard workouts and that will be gone. My meals were healthy, but I did have dessert EACH time! But, I don't feel bad. Friday went for Chinese, went for a walk that night, the next day scale was the same. Sat went to East side Mario's came home did WATP 2mile really pushed myself and did 15 minutes of SW1 (would have done more, but had company there at in-laws and they wanted the TV) Sunday went to Apple-bees, had a good low fat meal, but then again, had this cheesecake thing, no workout, sale showing a gain. I plan on going to walk tonight with Nikki, but I will also try to do a tape, then, along with lite eating today, scale should be back to normal.
Went shopping with Nikki and Bob and kids for their school clothes, caught shoplifter in Watertown in Penny's...second time I did it at a different mall, its funny, I can't leave my work at home...anyway, glad I could help.
Well, the cat that bit Hicks is dead, being tested now, I will update ASA I know whats up with it. SO stressed out. He has to meet with a farmer today and maybe get a part time milking job, we need it, its crazy what a 150.00 less paycheck can do to a couple!!!
I can't wait for my firm stuff to get here, I guess it takes a few weeks, I am going to call, they never told me, I just need to know.

Hi, Sophia. Hope the dead cat checks out OK for you guys.

I agree that autumn is a good time of year. This morning I put a dash of pumpkin pie spice on my oatmeal. Made it taste like pumpkin pie. Which make me think of you and his journal. Silly, aren't I? :D

Yes, indeed.

JO~I bet the oatmeal was sooooooooo yummy! I may just have to do that myself!
On the diet front, ate GREAT yesterday, scale was up to 203 now back down to 199, I hope to show some real loss tomorrow, I knew the weight gain was going to go away, I just needed to eat right a workout. Thats what I did. Last night I did sweatin to the oldies 1(20), WATP 1 (20) and I did a leg and arm weight lifting set(20)=80 minutes, FELT GREAT!
Today I have been on the right track for eating, no urge to cheat after this weekend. I hated the feeling of the old overstuffed Renea, put me in check. Had some trail mix and a market fresh sandwich with no meat, so it only have lettuce, tomato, cheese, spicy mustard and a small bit of mayo. I was so hungry, it was so yummy! I was running late for work so I couldn't get to store to but fruit, so mall food was what I had to have. We have a subway, but after getting food poising from there, they are OFF LIMITS! Not sure what is for dinner, I am feeling like a nice salad, but it all depends of what Hicks is doing.
Big news on Hicks' situation: The cat came back negative, THANK GOD! They said its a good thing, it was a 1% chance that cat didn't have rabies, and Hicks was that 1%!!! Then he went to meet with that farmer, got the job, Mr. Cook(the farmer) loves Hicks, was so impressed with all the skills he has, so that was wonderful. He would work at the mean farmers, his regular job till noon, go home shower and then go to Mr. Cooks and work till 6-7. This was so cool because I get home and I can get my workout in while he is gone there, then its all over with, so when he gets home, we can hangout and to to sleep together. So I was loving that idea. Then this morning, phone rang, it was the owner of the Gilbert farm, he wants Hicks to work there, its a bit smaller than the big farm he is at now, so Hicks will go speak with Mr. Gilbert today after he leaves him "mean" job. So things are looking up, I am so happy. I hope that Mr. Gilbert can offer the right hours and money to Hicks. Hicks is so faithful, now that he started with Mr. Cook, he said he just can't leave after one day, plus he liked the farm and Mr. Cook. The COOLEST thing is that both new farms are on the same road, 5 miles apart, so that will save gas big time! I am very happy, I just hope the hours are good.
Busy at work, school shopping means school "shoplifting" so I have to keep a keen eye out, so I am so busy here, I better go and do my job,the more I bust the better it is!

Hi Sophie,

I liked what you said about hating the "old, overstuffed" feeling. I do too - and this is a good reminder for me. Funny how when you haven't had that feeling for awhile you forget how unpleasant it can be.

Cool news about Hicks. :)

Elivi~its so true, I sat there after the dinners and asked myself over and over again, "do you remember always feeling this way?" Its crazy that eating like that was a way (weigh...lol) of life for me before.
Well, Hicks got the new job also, so both jobs are 5 miles apart, this is cool. The other cool part is that the new bosses are both so nice and relaxed, this will be a huge change for Hicks. But alas, every cloud has a silver lining. The hours are messed up, therefore, we will not see each other as much...and between both jobs, unless Hicks can fix it, he will not have a day off. This may pose a problem. We are always doing things, we love to take off and go places, so not sure how long that will last, but he is going to ask the bosses for one set day where he is off at both places. (OH PLEASE OH PLEASE) Also, the hours are M-W 11-7~afternoons, Hicks doesn't really care for this shift, he is used to mornings (i.e. 4am). Th-Sat he would go in at 7 and night and come home around 3am...I don't like the sound of that...but what can ya do. These are the hours for the large farm, small farm hours are F, S, Sun 3-7...so there are the hours, he will be working all the time. I think what he will do is do this for a while, then just work at large farm, if he works like that for a long time with no day off, that will suck, but all in all, the bosses and jobs are less stressful, this is great!
Eating was okay yesterday, no workout though, stupid me, I should have done one as soon as I got home, while Hicks was at work, that was my goal, then I sat down and started to watch TV...then that was it :( I know what I did wrong, I should have just got up and moved, then I would have got into it, but I was lazy...not I feel bad. The only really good thing about Hicks new jobs is that I will have lots of free time alone to do workouts, I can't wait to get the firm now! I love when I have time to workout when I want to, as is, I wait till he goes to bed, then its late, now I can get them in better, thats cool.
Here we go, today is the 20th of August, there for it is 6 weeks till my favorite month, OCTOBER!!!! In six weeks I can feel better, and get in better shape for all the hikes and other autumn activities I want to do. So this is my personal challenge to myself, I would love to be down to 189-190 but the first of October. There its written and I will try for that goal. It seems like I have been stuck here at 199 FOREVER, I know this week was my fault, too much over eating. Today has been okay, I had two apples and a big bag of trail mix. The mix is high in cals and fat, but I needed some protein, and so that is what I ate. It always give me energy, which I need on Weds due to working both jobs.
On other news that I want to jot down in journal, woke up to kids breaking in to cars on my street, watched them as they broke into 3, called 911, cops came, couldn't find them as far as I know, broke into sis-in-laws van, stole nephews gameboy and Bobs leatherman knife. So thats the crime news from me, I will be such a good trooper, I heard them walking down across the street, it woke me up, got great description and everything...then the village cops lost them!!! Too bad troopers can't come in village form those types of calls, they would not have lost them!!!
Anyway, better go and get work done, plus I need to check on some other threads...

Well Hicks gave his 2 weeks, so thats that. He will be done at Greenwoods Dairy Sept 4th. He was very sad and emotional about the whole thing. He is such a loyal person, when he commits to a job, he is yours and he gives everything. So another chapter is ending and a new one is almost upon us. I wonder what it will bring.
With all the stress that I have been going through, my ulcers are acting up, I couldn't sleep at all last night, I need to get them calmed down so I don't need meds...can't afford them...I know what I have to do.
I did great eating and working out last night. I did WATP 1 and no ifs ands or butts. I forgot I even had that tape. I called on my firm order, I was pissed, its on QVC for alot less, PLUS if O ordered through them it would be here faster. Oh well, I will just have to wait.
Friday is my day off with Hicks, who knows when we will get another one! We are going with Bill and Ines to garage sales and to the farmers market. They also want to go to our Amish friends with us, so it should be a good day, as long as it doesn't rain. We are riding with them in their cargo van...lots of room for goodies!!!
Caught another shoplifter, she was such a brat. So also with her and the kids breaking into cars, I was a busy crimebuster. Its funny, everyone is saying I should be a private detective, I think I will ponder it for a while. It would make some good money while I am waiting for the trooper thing to go through, then if that doesn' workout, I will still have the detective things going for me...so who knows...what I do know is that I am really good at it.
All in all things are looking up!

Ooh...a private eye, huh?

Now THAT sounds like fun! Or maybe I've been watching too many movies?

Hey Sophie,
Just dropped in to say hello. I will be :cheer: ing you on every step of the way. Your goal is definitely one you can make, and with your dedication I'll bet you make it. Especially with all the motivation of Autumn. I too like autumn, its what comes after that doesn't thrill me....LoL as I said in a previous post, I am a Fla. transplant to West Virginia.:) Snow was one of my childhood past times, I was raised in Wisconsin, but after living in Florida for the majority of my teen and adult life, its a hard thing to get used to again...I really enjoyed your personality test. Well better run, laterzzzzz

Blue and Elivi~thanks hanging out for a bit. Its always nice to
have some company.
On diet news, I have been doing great food wise, but have not workout for two days, I haven't felt well at all, but I am feeling better today, so I will get one it tonight.
On weather news, feels like the beginning of fall here today. Its so nice out. Went for a nice drive yesterday, leaves are starting to change, so life is good.
Hubby is counting down the days till he is done at the one farm...he is still really stressed, but sees the light at the end on the tunnel.
Brought bro in law to hospital, he is really sick, looked just like mom the other night, I hope he is better ASAP.
I better get a movin, I will have a better post Monday, its just too busy here and I need to catch shoplifters. Ta Ta for now!

Short and sweet today:
Food~been great! Did have a bit more of the taco dinner last night than I should have, but it was all fat free:o
Exercise~been okay, should be better...WILL be better. Been feeling a bit under the weather all weekend.
Water~whats that? Umm...been Very bad with the whole water thing. They came out with diet vanilla Pepsi...that stuff is good!!! I did bring my water to work, so I will gulp it down today.
I have so much to do today, I should have time to write more Tuesday.
Oh one thing, last night I was so discouraged about my weight loss again...Hicks and I were lying in bed and he was so nice and supportive about everything, I am so lucky to have a hubby like him.

Hmmm...diet vanilla pepsi...no thanks, I prefer to EAT my calories, LOL.

On the other hand, you seem to be doing very well. :)

Glad you have a nice supportive husband, too.

Anyway, just wanted to pop in and wish you well. I don't always have something to say but I still want to say it!

Elivi~I am glad you were here, always nice to see someone cares!
As for me, having bad dizzy spells all day and yesterday as soon as I got home, so in to bed I went. I will be getting those checked out today. Everythings seems to be okay here. Food is good, water is good, workouts aren't good, just not feeling good. Today is weigh in for me, still at 199. Its funny, when I first started DT, my goal weight was 200, never thought I would see that, thought it was shot in the dark...now I am under it...a pound is a pound! So I have 49 more to lose, I think I can I think I can...I know I can!
I gotta go, its been so busy in here,I haven't got my work done and now its noon, I am so behind. I hope to feel better and get some workouts in, I hope that this isn't anything serious.:(

Hi Sophie,

I hope you never really believe no one cares! I think a LOT more people just read but don't ever write. Sometimes we just don't know what to say, especially when someone is doing as well as you on your own! Just look at your "views," 188 - I guarrantee you it's not all you and me!

So...:sick:...take it easy on the working out. Like you said, you never even thought you would be this fit, now look at you! Yes, you have a little ways to go yet but...slow down...enjoy the sights along the way...this is uncharted territory!

:rose:

Sophie, sounds like you've reached a plateau (which is normal), and --- it's time to shake things up! ---

Try adding more activity; Find ways to build more activity into each day - take the stairs rather than the elevator. Park in the far corner of the parking lot rather than near the door. Put on music and dance through chores or just for fun.
Have you ever worn ankle weights? The added weight will burn more calories.

Also here is an article I read, it may be of intrest to you http://www.ivillage.co.uk/dietandfitness/experts/fitexpert/qas/0,9582,281_175800,00.html

Most importantly love yourself, you have made great progress, don't give up on yourself, you will be back on track before you know it. Just think October is almost upon us, and the cool crisp autumn air will be filling your lungs soon. It sounds to me like your motivating plateau buster is just around the corner, I just put in my 2 cents worth to maybe help you over the hump while you are waiting. Thank you for visiting me in my journal, it means alot. Take care and see you in AA's soon. Your buddy, Sandi

Soph, buddy...I am a little worried about you hon! You know, if you have been under so much stress, it may be getting to you now. I have had that before where the response is delayed. You know, a trip to the old doc might not be a bad idea either. Those stomach bugs are ravenous around here and may be causing you to be dizzy. Whatever it is...you have been through a lot in the last while and you just take care of YOU, eat healthy, enjoy your new tapes when you get them, and don't worry about the loss for now. It will come. You hang in there, ...and don't forget that if you ever need to talk...you have a friend here. :hug:

hi soph!!!
sorry to hear your not feeling well. Just hope you get better soon! you are really an inspiration to me and i KNOW you can lose the last 49 lbs look at how far you have come!!! You have the patience of an angel too let me tell ya. i know it gets annoying each week to not see any loss but hang in there!!!! we will make it!!

Thanks so much guys! It means so much to have great buddies like you all on here! I will win this battle, I just have to...
I got the firm yesterday, they said it would be 4-6 weeks, but it was a little over a week, if that. So I opened it up and did the video that was on the schedule, total sculpt plus abs, boy oh boy, it was 55 minutes, and I am still feeling it!!!! It did feel good. I think I am going to like them, I have to, it was alot of cash!!!
The Firm says to do their tapes every other day, so I am going to really try to stay on plan, they say they will give you visual results with 10 workouts! I will let you all know if its true or not. I think on the "every other " days I will still do a WATP or A Richard tape, I will get past this 199 if its the last thing I do!
As for my not feeling good, its my ulcers acting up, so I need to get un stressed, without meds, I hate taking them! I did it before, but my mom always helped me, so this will be kind of new, she won't be "here" visually, but she will still be helping...I have to get it all under control...trooper written exam is right around the corner, I have a lot of work to do till then. Mind body and soul have to be in great shape.
Food was great yesterday, water intake was good, and did my first Firm video ever and lived to tell about it, so things are better.
I am off work Friday, we are going to help a couple move into their new place, should be fun. Hicks will be done at Greenwood Dairy on Sat, so we will have Sunday and Monday off together before he starts new job and we don't see each other as much:c( On the other hand, the weather is a changing, 57 here today, and I will have more time to workout...Hicks came home yesterday and and saw the fanny lifter, and tried it...looked at me and said, "you are going to be so skinny!"...Shook his head and went to take a shower...lol. So with him working, I will try to get in some great workouts and get this weight to were the NY State Troopers want it to be!
Thanks again everyone, I just needed some friends yesterday!!

When is the trooper written exam, Sophie? You have probably told us, but I have forgotten. I know you are looking forward to all this, and I think your plans are wonderful. I wish you great success as a trooper. And I will behave myself if I am ever in your state. Wouldn't want to get in trouble with you, Sophie.:D

Just keep plugging away, and you will reach your goals. And we will all be so proud of you.

Pssssssssssst Hey Sophie it's me......BlueEyez,
Didnt know if you recognize me with my hat and dark glasses. I couldnt wait till Tuesday had to drop in for a quick hello..........Seriously hun hope you are doing well. Just wanted to give ya a quick HI! Hows weather by you? Raining buckets here. Hope you are safe and warm. Look forward to seein ya soon. Take care of yourself:) Your buddy, Sandi

Hey Sophie,

Sending you some **positive thoughts**

and :hug:

How are you doing babe?
How is it going with your new videos?

I am back...gosh, seems like its been a long time. I will be here Thursday morning with a good update. I have been so busy, sure do miss DT and everyone on here!

Well, I would love to have a good update, but it really busy here again! Eating is going good, so is water intake. Tonight I plan on doing the FIRM total sculpt plus abs and a walk. Its my first night without Hicks, he will be working...this is hard on both of us, in fact he just called and is already upset about the whole thing...he likes the job, just not working nights. But it will be alright, have to stay positive! I better be off and working, more later.

Hi Soph!

I was doing my journal and saw your popped up...just wanted to stop by and send a positive thought your way. :) I know this is hard on you guys...but you are both strong and you will find a way to cope or arrange another solution. Happy wishes for you!!!

I just read your post Soph, OMG sweetie that is unbelievable. You better not let your guard down for nothing. What has become of this world...our youth is just running wild. You sound very enthusiastic about your new workouts, I am sure you will get the results you are looking for. And dont be discouarged bout the scale not moving.......its like I said mine wasnt being all that friendly to until I started following a low fat, 1400 calorie a day plan. 3rd week tommorow and alread a 3.5 pound lost. Keep trying new things you will find what works and bust threw this plateau. I wont keep you, I just wanted to drop in and say hello. Was so glad to see you were doing better. Until next time........your buddy. Sandi

Hey Soph, Question for you.....I know you are a big fan of Richard's and I was wondering if you used the Food Mover? If not would you like to? I was just cleaning and found my food mover gold, it is brand new, I just never used it, and if you would like it, its yours for the asking.........well actually the telling cuz you would have to give me address to send it to. Let me know ok. Laterzzzzzz

Blue, I would love it!!! I never bought it because I could never find it at a good price, what can I give you for it? Let me know. I will PM you...so cool!!!
Short and sweet~ate a bit more than I should have, but did do the FIRM...
I can't wait till Monday when I will have more time on here...

Everything seems to be going well. I need to get a move on my workouts, but I would say, all in all, with the exception of over eatiing a bit, I am happy with everything at this time, diet wise. I am still upset the scale isn't moving, but I am not giving up!

But Sophie, even if the scale is not moving you are still making yourself healthier by your eating properly and doing all that exercise. The scale will move downward eventually. It just never does it as fast as we would like for it to.8-}

Sophie,

Hi there, I am glad you are not giving up. It is like Jo says you are getting healthier and creating some lifetime habits for the better. I understand your frustration oh so well, I felt like I was going nowhere a few months past but you know.........I finally caught up with myself. I really think that alot of change goes on in our bodies that we just don't see right off. It can't be measured in numbers on the scale, do you measure? alot of times we are toning up and losing inches. I bought a brand new outfit for my grand daughters dedication today and it is so cute.........I feel like a million bucks. When I started I was wearing an 18 and this outfit is a 14 and its' not in the least bit tight. So keep the faith sweetie you will see. Your package will be going out tommorow morning. Have a great day.........later. Sandi

Hi there! Things are so busy! Had Sunday off from work and from workouts! I will do the FIRM when I get home. Eating is going great, need to up my water.
JO~thanks for the nice words, I know that scale will move soon.
Blue~I can't wait for my package! Thank you thank you thank you! I know, you were at your wits ends with your scale, are now its a moving!!! Mine will to!

Ahhh, what a wonderful crisp cool morning! I just love it! Leaves are a changin here...I am in heaven! Can't wait to buy my first pumpkin of the year!
Last night did the FIRM maximum cardio burn...they weren't a lyin! I was sweating and must have been burning calories! It felt so good. I always feel so happy when I complete those tapes. To think a little over a year ago, I could hardly make it through RS' Sweatin to the oldies 1...when it came to twist and shout, I wanted to sit and cry...but now I am doing the FIRM...so cool! Hicks and I were talking about it last night, even though that scale is stuck, and I have been eating a bit more than I should, I am so happy with where I am at, how far I have come! I can't wait till I am in great shape and at goal...I hope by next year it will be a dream come true!
Hicks works late tonight, so I am planing on getting in a workout when I get home. Today is supposed to be a day off from the FIRM, I am supposed to do the FIRM Weds, but I have a meting Weds night, so I may do it tonight, not sure yet...or I may wait and push it a day later. I bought a new Walk the Walk and Richard's Blast and tone, I would like to do those...so many to choose from! I will report what I pick tomorrow!
On to other news, Hicks and I are having a hard time no seeing each other as much, this has never happened in the almost 6 years we have been together. He is so nice, he calls home while he and I are both at work, and leaves me a message, so when I get home I have a little message from him...that is so nice. I guess I will keep him around for a while! LOL

Yup Sophie. Leaves on the road, and it was still dark and cool when I left the house this morning. And it just SMELLED like fall. I thought of you! Happy days!

That is so special.......you have a very thoughtful husband. I know only to well how it feels when you are seperated. WoW gal you really getting into the videos way to go. Keep it up. They dont have alot of choices at our local walmart..........we live so far out have to go 75 miles to a mall. Oh well ........laterz keep up the good work.

Hi Soph!

You will be glad to know I am back in my cargo pants and Birk's today. :D MUCH more comfy, trust me. hee hee Fall hasn't officially hit here yet...very unusual for Minnesota...but I can tell by my kitty that it's coming. He's been very snuggly lately. I just LOVE fall. Everything about it is wonderful, the colors, the treats, the pretty apples and pumpkins. OH and SWEATERS!!! I LOVE soft sweaters!!!!

The FIRM sounds so great, and I am tempted to buy it every time it comes on...but I think I might not be ready for it. I have just been walking and biking, so I have very little muscle endurance. Do you think some "build up" tapes might be good? Any you could suggest? Oh heck, maybe I should just go for it!

Hey, I really feel for you w/ being separated from your sweetheart. I know it must be so hard on you guys. Is there any chance for the day off each week he was hoping for? From us-two work-a-holics to you-two work-a-holics, guard the little bit of time together like a hawk! Otherwise well meaning friends and family use it up and it's over too quick. Take care buddy! --Ivy

Hi guys, just taking some time off at work...I am supposed to be drawing a new sign, but I am really tired and just wanted to check in. I can't wait to get outta here and home...I miss Hicks, and I want to bake him his turtle brownies and supper before he gets home, I also want to get in a workout...he will be home around 8 tonight...
Elivi~I love these almost fall days!
Blue~yes, Hicks is nice...most of the time! Where I live there isn't much of a video selection either, I order most of mine or get them on e-bay.
IV~I waited a while to get the FIRM, even thought about waiting more, I have so many videos, I thought,"well maybe you should wait and lose more weight" I am glad I just ordered, what was I waiting for, I know the results are going to show real soon, I can feel it working. You should get it, I promise you will be happy, you can really feel the muscles building. Oh and I think we are twins today, I have green cargo pants and my birks on too...I am also wearing tye dye..are you?

No kidding!!!! Long distance TWINKIES! ha ha ha :D I have a green pair too! Oh, no tye dye today though...white tank, and dark denim shirt over that (cuz it's friggin FREEZING in here!). Sorry. Hey, still twinkies nonetheless! :hug:

Well, did a 20 minute upper body firming tape last night, didn't like it at all...very boring!!!
Now on to weigh in and food. I am weighing in today at 204...yup, above that damn 200 mark again. I can't believe I gained 5 pounds in a week. I did over eat a bit but I didn't think it would do this kind of damage!! I know my TOM is near, but I can't say its all bloating. So thats my official weigh in..204:( I ate well yesterday, drank that H2O and did that small workout, I was going to do more of a workout, but I started to get a head ache, so I laid down for a bit or the head would have gotten out of control.
Tonight is the full Harvest moon, can't wait! Hicks and I are planning a nice walk...lets hope he doesn't forget, he hates to walk, his sister might come with us, her and I are walking buddies. Its also FIRM day, I didn't think I would be able to do it tonight, had a meeting, but thats been canceled, so I will get to it when I get home.
Food today, so far so good. Had a big bowl of Kasha, love that, I had two servings. Brought a FF turkey on low fat whole wheat bread. I have a banana and an orange here too. I am enjoying a diet soda right now, but I do have my water in the fridge, so it seems like I have my act together.
I better go change my stats to my increased weight...God I don't want to, but I have to be honest...here I go!

IV~what do you have on today? HAHA, jeans, birks and Hicks shirt here...It was real cold here when I left for work...:hug:

Don't go changing your stats yet!!

About that weight gain - with your new workout routine I think it's very likely largely muscle and that is a very, very good thing.

Every single pound of muscle you gain burns an extra 75 calories a day just to maintain itself. That means that gaining 5 pounds of muscle would be an extra 375 calories a day, just sitting around! So you can see that adding muscle , instead of throwing your weight loss off track (which it sometimes feels like, when those numbers start to go up), is actually the most essential catalyst to losing and keeping extra weight off!

So I think this is a very good thing!

Hey gal,
I have to agree with elvi bout the muscle, you may have just bulked up a bit and that is a good thing.........burn more calories, then after a bit the scale finally does an about face and proceeds on a downward spiral. Yea the scale is pretty kewl, was a real bargain to......it regulary retails for $90 bucks but I got it for $39. It will definitely keep me accountable that is for sure. No room for fibbin.....kinda like the ones at the doc's office.

Yes I love my calcium chews, I get the Spring Valley brand.......they sell them at Walmart, chocolate is my fav. I tried pill ya swallow (TO BIG) and the ones ya chew.......YUK (To chalky) these are so yummy. Its like getting a piece of candy everyday. Better not binge on them though, lol i wouldnt want to OD on vitamins. Enjoy your walk this evening that sounds so kewl. Hubby to be in tommorow evening if all goes well at the latest Friday.........I am praying tommorow, I am so tired, I need him to snuggle with so I can rest. You keep up the good work, your workouts sound awesome. Laterzzzzzzz

Eating~okay, Hicks bought some homemade baked goods, had a taste, but all in all feel good
Water~alright, need to up it some more before the day is done
Exercise~last night did the FIRM complete aerobics and sculpt and took that nice walk with Hicks for 45 minutes. Tonight is supposed to be my day of rest, I may pop in a tape when I get home. I am working till 9 tonight, so I am not sure how much energy I will have then, but we will see!
Elivi~I will take you word, I hope its just muscle, I know I have to try harder to fight that urge to eat...don't we all!!!LOL
Blue~I hope your hubby gets back soon, I can't imagine how bad it must be...:sigh: I will have to check out those chews, I will let you know what I think. I got the food mover and the AWESOME fall decorations! Hicks was there when I opened it, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I can't wait to read up on it and give it a try. You are so wonderful, thank you for that burst of autumn!!!

Just here for a min, will write more tonight. I can't wait, I am going to a metaphysical meeting today, topic: communicating w/ spirits...I think it will be very interesting!

OKay eating has been almost nil today, so I am off to get something. No workout yet, will do the FIRM tonight when I get home. Water is not that great, I will get more tonight.
The meeting was great, mom and gram were their, the lady helped me have communication. She also did two heeling's on me, it was so nice. I am glad I went.

Had Sunday off with Hicks, we spent the day with his sister and her family, had a great dinner, Italian chicken, FF of course, the cake we had after was not! We watched movies, it was a good day. Also did the FIRM maximum cardio burn. Felt great, all in all a good quit day.:D
So far today, food is going okay, had a no butter almond pretzel from Auntie Annes for breakfast, it was YUMMY!!

soph, your metaphysical meeting sounds so interesting! Are you learning to enhance your own psychic powers (I think you mentioned you were pretty sensitive in that way) or just talking with others? I have sensed things in advance on occasion, but I always just attribute it to my mind figuring out that 2 + 2 = 4, so to speak...I mean, you know, I reason that certain stuff is bound to happen based on our actions and the mind figures that out on it's own. (if that made ANY sense at all...) But I do wish I could sense things the way some people do...oh well, we all have our own talents. I'll stop rambling now. I'll be interested to hear what you learned! :D

and let me give you a great big hug! :hug: What a wonerful suprise in my mail box! I absolutely love her. Thank you so much, your kindness touched me so deeply. I had a teary moment, and how I wished I could just give you a big hug at that moment. Your kindness will never be forgotten. It is so wonderful to make a connection. Keep up your hard work gal.........I will always be in your corner cheering you on.:o

Here I am ...another day. I had a boring day yesterday, I had the day off, Hicks did not. I had another meeting with a medium, it was nice, mom was there and so was my uncle. All in all good. I also noticed something HUGE...I eat when I a bored...never knew this before, no work, no Hicks, I just ate, I should have worked out, but I didn't, I watched TV and read for a bit, fell asleep...VERY LAZY DAY...I DID NOT LIKE IT AT ALL! I am glad I realized this, now I can put an end to it. The food choices I made were okay, but I do know that I ate a bit too much...so no more of that!!! Hicks and I went for a 30 minute walk with the dogs, it was nice, also I went for a nice walk this morning by myself, it was about 30-35 minutes. It was a nice and different way to wake up. The FIRM is planned for today when I get home, I am looking forward to it. It is my TOM, so I am not feeling the best right now, hope it goes away soon:(
IV~yes, I am working on my skills, its crazy how strange they can be! Its kind of neat also!
Blue~I am so glad you love her, so did I as soon as I saw her! She is so beautiful, just like us! Enjoy her beauty!

I had yummy chicken noodle soup for lunch. Just thought I'd post it!

Hiya Buddy,

Got a question for You...........just got the Firm videos last night......I purchased the videos only, they didnt come with the fanny lifter, however I had hoped an old step I had would do the trick....WRONG!...LoL So I will be making that purchase soon. It is also supposed to have the following 2 items which was not included

30-Day Rotation Guide and an Instructors Secrets to Success

Did you recieve these? if so any possibility of making a copy and sending them to me. Would be happy to reimburse. I asked Lees also.

How long did it take you to get the hang of them...........It was very clumsy for me. Hoping maybe just that my step was smaller than the lifter also lower. I dont remember how long it took me to master Richard, but now I can do it in the dark.

Let me know when u get time sweetie. Keep up your hard work and yummy on the soup, it is a good day for it here today. The rains have started already as have my prayers. Talk soon.

I did the Firm complete aerobics and toning last night...can really feel that one! Eating has been okay, TOM really sucks this time, really bloated and feeling yuckie!
Mom has been gone now for 6 months, thats CRAZY! Last night at 9 pm was her anniversary. I made a promise to me and mom to work hard and lose and do great by mom's 1 year mark. I know she is going to be helping me.
Blue~I am so happy you got the tapes. What system did you get? Body sculpting 1 or 2? I will copy all my stuff and send it ASAP, just need to know if we have the same set. Do your videos show the use of the sculpting stick or not? Mine is the new one with the stick, so if thats the same as your I will send you the stuff I have. Let me know. I am just now getting the moves down pat, I hate that awkward time when you don't know all the moves by heart, just keep going, it will come to you. Use your regular step for now, as well as you can, by the time you get your fanny lifter, you will be a pro!!! I am so happy you got the FIRM!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers, I hope you stay safe! The angel will watch over you!

First of all I was so moved to read about your mom. How proud of you she must have been on earth and now in heaven. I know if you was my daughter I would be. That brought tears to my eyes. I can relate to your loss as I lost my dad when I was 18, that was many moons ago.............but as time passed the hurting was filled with warm and wonderful memories and now, forever they remain in my heart. I always send him a balloon to heaven for his birthday and fathers day.

They system I got was called body sculpting system, no stick on box. Lees gave me a link to print off the rotation calendar and said she would copy booklet at work tommorow, so thank you. I hope it is the same. ..LOL I am currently high bidder on ebay for a fanny lifter, keep your fingers crossed.

I'm thrilled that you are seeing results already that is fantastic. And dont worry about the muscle gain, they say you burn something like 75 xtra calories per pound of muscle so that is fantastic, keep up the good work!!

I dont remember how long it took me to quit tripping over myself with Richard, but now whenever I hear a song from tape I can do the routine with my eyes closed.

As for the weather here.........is raining wind is picking up a tad, I am still just praying. I am very hopeful we will weather this ok. Unlike so many others. Thank you for caring. Be talkin again soon. Hugzzz my special gal

Blue~thanks for the nice words about my mom, I just miss her so much, I feel so lost. I know I have Hicks, but if something ever happened with us, I have no other family, it was Mom and me...so I will make her proud! Sucks losing a parent and a young age, I am sorry for your loss also, its nice to know others are and were in the same situation as I am. On to the FIRM, I think you both have the first system, I have those tapes also, I haven't done them yet, can you give me the link for that rotation...please:o I have the 2nd system that they came out with, it has this 8 pound 4 foot stick that you use with the tapes, it helps with balance. I bought the first system's videos at BJ's a while back, then ordered this system...love it, you will love your also, I just know it!

Hicks and I went and bought some pumpkins today. I bought one that was short and chubby like me...Hicks and the guy behind the counter said I wasn't chubby anymore, had to pick another one if I wanted it to look like me...thought that was really nice!!!:o
Hicks and I went out for lunch, I was good, I got the salad bar, made a great salad, and I was FULL! We then shared a pear, all in all, a great day. Now we are both at workX-( And I miss him.
No water yet today, bad Sophie, but Hicks said no, driving+me+water=too many stops But I brought a liter with me to work, I will gulp that down ASAP
Did a FIRM workout, feeling good.

soph- sounds like you and hicks had a perfect fall-like day! i know what it is like to miss your honey so much. i miss JJ so much when he is at school and working. Things are so busy for us right now but at least thats letting me get in all my firm workouts!! your doing awesome. keep plugging away!!

lisa

Another day another dollar...here I am at work..AGAIN! I have a split shift today, work from 10-noon then come back at 7-10. But I will go home, get some time w/ Hicks and do a workout. Nothing else is new, had a great bowl of life cereal this morning and I am feeling good. No other new news!

Hello there,

my goodness you sure do put in alot of hours..............seems like your days are never ending. But on the lighter side it is great to hear about the quality time you and Hicks have been sharing that is just great. MY OH MY, what a work out..............I did the body sculpt Thursday morning and the ab scuplt that evening woke up friday pretty sore,,,,,,,,,,,,,,still a bit stiff today..LoL I will start on Monday and count that as day one. I have a feeling the results will be seen in the 10 days. Just need to get a bit more coordinated. At moment I am high bidder on an ebay auction for the fanny lifter........keepin my fingers crossed. Enjoy your time with Hicks..........sorry bout the split shift those are really tough. Talk later...................

I had a nice day with Hicks, did over eat though on bread and cheese...:o the fair had all sorts of great food, then we had cab age rolls for dinner. As I look back, I didn't really eat ALOT, I guess I just didn't like the way that the food made me feel. I hate that over full feeling. The village was alot of fun, set back in 1866, great day. We walked for over 4 hours, I am counting that as a workout in its self, it was very hilly and a great outside autumn walk. I didn't do my last firm workout for the week, knees are hurting a bit, they are feeling tight, I think the walk did me well yesterday, today I am supposed to do a firm workout today, I am looking forward to it. Today's food has been good, had a pear and granola bar for breakfast, am planning on soup for lunch, not sure what's up for tonights meal yet, maybe low fat tuna noodle casserole, we will see. Better go, busy here.
Blue~I hope you will the bid, as for being sore, I was sore for the first week, then body decided to enjoy it...lol
OH! I bought the most wonderful mums and pumpkins and gourds Sat, put them outside, people have stopped and said it looked like it was right out of Better Home sand Garden, I was so happy!!:o

Hello there...........

This was only my second workout this morning, but I really feel the burn with it, so I am fully convinced to see some real results, not like with my other videos where I can do them with my eyes closed. Ordered a fanny lifter last night, cant wait to get it in, the step I am using is only 6in...........I'll really be in for a shocker with 14 WoW! Well you will be in 7th heaven tommorow............it's the first day of FALL!:balloons: I dont know bout where you live but the leaves are changing fast here. And with that storm over the weekend the poor things are losing them very quick. Our trees have really taken major abuse since last winter, we had early freeze and a winter with alot of freezing rain which snapped so many branches off of the trees. Had a super day with family yesterday, enjoyed a beautiful walk with my daughter and grand daughter after dinner. ..............Take care sweetie, be talking to you soon!

My goodness...........didnt think I ever find your journal...Lol
Happy Autumn sweetie! I loved hearing about how you decorated your porch with the pumpkins and gourds. You should take pictures and share them. I am sure it looks lovely. I put my decorations up inside. I string white lights up the stair bannister and then wrap with autumn garland, it really pretty, not to mention makes putting up the christmas deorations a bit easier. Hope you get more quality time like that with Hicks........sounds like you to are a perfect match. Keep up your hard work....I will let u know how I manage after getting my fanny lifter. Hugzzzzz

Well, my knee is hurt, so no FIRM for me, or at least no fanny lifter for a bit. This really pisses me off. But, I do know not to press it, let it rest. So I didn't do any workout yesterday, I hope to get something in today, maybe a RS tape, we will see when I get home. Ate okay yesterday, but no water...bad Sophie!!
Yesterday was the first day of Fall, I was in heaven, wonderful weather, Hicks and I did yard work for a lady, the cold dirt felt and smelled so wonderful!!!
Blue~hope your birthday was a good one! Sounds like it was! I will take pics of the porch, then I will find someone to scan them for me, I need to get before and current pic of me on here too...lol. I bet your house looks nice too, sounds pretty! Careful when you get the fanny lifter, in my tapes they keep telling you to push through your heels, MAKE SURE YOU DO!!! The last workout I didn't, I can remember I would catch myself pushing through my toes, well, that puts too much strain on knees, so be careful!!

OKay need to come on here and not be alone...sometimes at work, when its not busy, I feel so alone. I did good for lunch, has a small cup of veggie beef soup and a half of sandwich, I don't this I have ever ordered a half of sandwich, but I knew that I didn't really need a whole. For snacks I have hada little bit of apple sauce and two handfuls of bran cereal. So I am feeling REALLY good about my food choices and I drank lots of water...what a good day. Knee is hurting from standing all day, so I need to rest it. I am really missing Hicks right now, I don't know whats up...I could just cry, I need to see him. I am not sure what time he will be getting home, either 6 or 8, I can't wait that long, I feel like there is something wrong. I am done at 4 so I am going to drive to his work to see him. I know its sounds dumb, but I really miss him. I know when I get there, he won't have time to talk to me, he will be so busy, but I will bring him a soda or coffee and he will know that I just HAD to see him. I guess that I am feeling so sad because we had yesterday off, and it was nice, but we still worked, we didn't have any alone time, and now I will have to wait until Sunday, and we may be busy with his family all day, then the next Tuesday, we have off, but we have to do more yard work for that lady and Hicks has another side job:c( :protest: :console: I just need him. Then to top it all off, I had a bad dream last night about him and I just can't shake it....I know I am a dork...I guess I need to stop letting my mind wonder and do something productive for the next 20 minutes. I better go

Hey Sophie, just wanted to drop by and let you know I've
come back home to DT. Starting a new journal and I see you've
started one too. Don't have time to talk now but will be back
tomorrow. Hope everythings great with you and Hicks.
Later, Rivergal

Hi soph! Aw, you poor thing...you are missing your sweetie. I wish I could just give you a hug and make it better, but it sounds like what you really need is more time with your sweetie. Is there any way he could pass on the side job? I know we all need the money, and we need to help friends/family/etc., but sometimes we need each other more. It will work out my dear. You guys are such a wonderful couple and your hearts will lead you to the right resolution.

Take care of you -- Ivy

p.s. Hi River!!!! Glad to see you!!!!!!!

Well, went and saw Hicks, got there in the nice of time, he was going to surprise me and come home early...LOL...we went and bought stuff for a big salad, so thats what we had for dinner. We had a nice time at the store, then went home jumped in PJ's and watched our soaps...yes we watch one life to live and all my children...it was a nice night. So all in all a great day yesterday all ways, I didn't get a workout in, knee was really hurting. Today has been good with food, no workout still, but I think Hicks and I are going for a walk tonight. I made him turtle brownies for work today and then before I left, I made him no bake cookies to bring Friday. I LOVE to bake, but I have to make sure I get the stuff out of the house. I did have a small cookie and a small brownie...had to make sure they were good:o Tonight he is making us dinner, but we won't be home till 9:30, I know thats a no-no, but we both don't want to eat without the other...we are funny, we know. Friday we spend the morning together and then I bring him to work, we look forward to Fridays, not sure what we are going to do yet, I will post it I'm sure.
River~girl, so glad to see you, I miss you so much, all the AA's do! I's glad your back!
IV~I wish we could afford for Hicks to not work so much, but with winter coming, the side jobs will stop, so we need all we can get now, thanks for all the nice words, its so nice to know you care.

Have a great Friday!!!

Last night was nice dinner was yummy, soaps were good. Hung out with Hicks all morning, we had fun, he chased me around the SUV when we were getting gas today, everyone was laughing at us, it was fun. food has been good all day, no water yet but I did bring some to gulp down here at work.
Now lets get to the bad part. I am being so honest here it hurts...lol. Its the only way to be...I didn;t weigh in Weds because I had stayed at in laws, so I didn't get a chance to weigh in until today, I am weighing in at 209. I have no f-ing clue as to why the scale is moving up. I am being honest when I say I have not been binging or pigging out...my knee has been a bit messed up, so I have had to take a break with the workouts, and I have a hard time thinking that its all muscle from doing the firm, so I am really upset and sad. The end.:(

Sophie, did you take your measurements before starting the FIRM? You may be experiencing a muscle mass gain, and if that is the case which most likely it is seeing how the FIRM is a body sculpting workout then :D , you are doing very well, i read somewhere that muscle tissue is very active, and that every pound of muscle burns about 35 calories per day. Are you still I believe as long as you are stilll doing some cardio workouts things will even out. Don't be so quick to fret. About 10 yrs ago I went on a weight lifting routine to lose weight along with Richard and in 6 months I had lost 40 pounds, the funny thing to me was that I was in the best shape ever.....I weighed 125 pounds and wore a size 4, never ever in my life had I worn such a tiny size, but I had alot of lean muscle, I was one buff babe.........lol looking back now I wonder why I did this to myself again.........anyway not to dwell but Imy lowest all time weight was 110 but I wore size 7/8 or 6 if lucky however I wasnt lean at the time. So hang in there things are bound to change. Do you track calories? I ate terribly before tracking what I ate, Keep trying things to come up with the answer, you will find it. In the meantime take a deep breath and stay focused, I am here for you, tell me what I can do.

Sounds like you and Hicks had a ball. How sweet the 2 of you must have looked. I thought it was so sweet that the both of you had the idea to take off early to suprise one another. I do believe you have your soulmate there, I am so happy for you. Well hun I'm gonna run, but I am just a stone's throw away. You take care now:hug:

Blue~thanks for the nice words, I have been using the food mover, being good, a few extras here and there, but nothing to make be gain 10 pounds in a month, I guess I am just freaking, I don't want to gain and be near 300 again, I just know how fast it can all come back and I hate that...thanks again for the nice words.

Today I have a split shift here at work, so I am only here till noon then I get to go home and see Hicks, the come back to work @ 5. Then his will get home at about 4am, I think I am going to my bosses house to hang out, but I am not sure. Still upset about my weigh in, but trying to get over it. Food was great yesterday, water was not. A walk is planned for today, the forecast says rain for here for about a week, so I want to spend as much time outside as I can today. Hicks and I have Sunday off, not sure what we are doing, I would like a day shopping trip, I have almost no shirts that fit me anymore, I have lots of tye dyes from work, but sometimes I would like a solid color!!!lol:hippy: Hicks will probably say that we can't afford it, but maybe he will surprise me and say ok. I hope...
I will be back tonight, I am going to go and check out the threads now. OH before I forget, had a Kasha cereal this morning, that stuff really fills me up! Good stuff!

I am mad...computer ate my post!!! Anyway, have to go now, so I have to make it short...today would have been my Gram birthday, she was AWESOME! Always there for us and always fun fun fun! IN grade school, gram was there for bake sales and grandparents day. In high school, I would skip school with my friends and we would go hang out with gram...she never told mom...lol. When mom was sick and in hospital, she always took care of me, always making sure both mom and I were alright. Sure do miss her, feels strange, she has been gone a year and a half. Hope she and mom are having cake...lol
Also, when I was at home today,the phone rang and the person on the other end didn't say anything, after me saying hello a few times, they hung up. I pushed *69 and it came back as one of my father's work numbers. VERY strange, haven't talked to him in years. Even when mom died, all he did was call and leave message for me. I wonder what he wants...:shrug:
Well, its busy in here now, I better go. Be back Monday!

Hey Sophie, Hope you're weekend was good. Mine was pretty
good. Had a festival Sat. and today we went to the market and
then to a movie and out to eat. The movie was "Once upon a
time in Mexico" it really wasn't that good. Kinda wish we'd went
to another one. Oh well, you never know till you watch it.
Well, just wanted to drop by and say hello. Hope you find out
what your Dad wants. And hope all is ok.
Talk to ya later,

THE COMPUTER ATE MY POST AGAIN>>>I AM GOING TO FREAK!!!
Had a nice weekend, went to a cider mill with Hicks and watched them press the apples and make the cider, it was really neat. We went to the mall, but it was 5 and we forgot on Sundays the mall closes at 6...so we had to hurry. I got a sweater at GAP for only 9.99 and a nice pair of socks for .97. I tried on clothes at old navy, at this time it was 5:45, so I had to hurry. I brought 2 pants in and 2 shirts. the shirts were just not me, guess I will stick with tye dye...the pants, well I am happy but sad. I brought in size 20, I was there a month or two ago and the 20's fit, but they were a bit sung, this time, they were both huge on me. I guess maybe I am gaining muscle or something...I have gained and am back up to 209, but clothes are big on me...we will see what happens from here, I was sad because it was then 6 and they were making everyone get out...so no new pants for me.
As for my dad, update on him, he's a jerk. No need to write more, not wasting space in my journal or posting time on him.

Hey sweets, sorry to hear about your dad. I was hoping he was trying to mend some fences in light of your mom's passing into your newest angel...but, sounds like no such luck. I know how you feel, it's tough when a parent is useless... the world is out of order, somehow. Anyway, on to happy things -- I sure hope your knee is doing better! Are you babying it? Ya better, missy! And the news on your lost inches is FAB!!!!!! Way to go!!!

yr pal, Ivy

Yeaaaaa Sophie!!!!:cheer: See, don't ever get down, you can't
always count on the scales. Go by the way you feel and how
your clothes fit. I'm so proud of you. Keep up the good work.
Good ideas you shared about notes and stuff you send to work
with Hicks. I can't bake Scott things to carry to work cause he
works at Nestle and can't take food in. He works at the one that
makes Lean Cuisine. Yeah, we get 30% off the already low price
at the outlet store. Which I have got to go to tomorrow and
load up on them. Haven't eaten any in a while but I'm starting
back this week. I was looking back at my food journal and saw
I was dropping the pounds when I was eating them for lunch
everyday. And of course exercising everyday.
Well, didn't mean to write a book in your journal. Sorry things
wasn't worth talking about with your Dad. Hugs to you sweetie.
:hug:
Talk to ya later,

Well, here I am another day at work. My boss is sick, so I worked over yesterday and I was supposed to have today off, but I am here. I hope he gets better soon. Food was good yesterday, had water also, tried the workout thing, knee started hurting right away, I guess I need to start up slowly, and not just jump on the fanny lifter. Other than that, Hicks and I had a nice night, we played with the dogs, it was so much fun.
Today I woke up a bit late and had to rush to work, no time to eat breakfast, so by the time I got to work, the only food place open was Arby's and had a breakfast sandwich and now I am feeling like poop, I knew I shouldn't eat it, but that was ALL that there was...so I did it, but I think it will be okay as long as I stay at the right cals for the rest of the day.
I watched Dr. Phil today, I am really getting into the show and the book, boy does it open my eyes, after eating the bad choice for breakfast, I then watch the show...lol, kind of funny. I am so thankful for Dr. Phil and the people on the weight loss show. I have always been over weight, ALWAYS, and I never let it bother me, just kept on going until I was almost 300, and now i know I need to get back at it whole heartedly. It really upsets me that my knee started to bother me. I bought the firm, $130.00 used it for a month and then BAM knee acts up. So now, I am behind again, and really getting mad about it. Watching the show and reading the book really helps me put some things in check. It feels so uplifting to know its okay to really be honest and talk about being fat and obese. I have never been able talk about being overweight, never...its so nice to be able to with Hicks and on here. I know this is an on line journal and other read it, but I need to be real honest with myself so I plan on using this tool and be honest and real. I thank God for Hicks, he has loved me a any weight and supports me, he knew how mean my dad was about my weight all my life and how hard this is for me, and he sticks right by me...:o Gosh, I am rambeling, I guess I just need to...I am so sick of being fat, I know I have lost ALOT of weight, as I am typing this I have a velvet poets dress/shirt thing on, 2 years ago, I could not wear it, last year it fit but was tight, now I am swimming in it, in fact I feel like I look like mama cass in it, I love it, and I am sad because I know it is too big on me now...so funny. I know how far I have come, how much I have lost in weight and inches and how much I am gained in self worth and knowledge and muscle, but some days it feels like even though I have lost so much, I have so much more to lose. I just want to be in shape so bad and to be healthy so bad, it is my life goal. I need to end now, I just have so many thoughts right now, I need to collect them and then maybe come back and write, I can just imagine how this entry must read...lol. A big cluster I am sure, but its the thoughts of this fat girl...

Oh Sophie Sweetie. :console: You have come a long way and
I know sometimes it seems like it takes forever to get anywhere.
It gets to us all at times. I think man, I'll never get where I need
to be. But we have to tell ourselves it's all about getting healthy.
Getting there. WE WILL GET THERE. Hey I think I've got 10
pounds on ya. I'm 219 right now. I'm 5'9 so I'm thankful for the
height. But we can do this. I know I'm a lot older than you but
as far as the DHs go we seem to have a lot in common. Scott has
never said anything about my weight in almost 26 yrs of marriage.
He really supports me when I'm losing but has always loved me
and showed it at any size. My heart goes out to those women
that have DH that say things about their weight, it's hard
enough to deal with, without the support of the closest one to
you. Thank goodness Mine is wonderful and I wouldn't trade him
for all the tea in China or anything or anyone else. He is my
soulmate. So, believe me hang in there you are doing great and
don't get down. You can talk to me anytime. Here, my journal, or
pm me. Life is good. We just have to grab onto it and hang on.
I know some days for me are really rough. I won't go into it.
It has nothing to do with Scott. Other members of my family can
really get to me. But I choose to be happy. I keep telling myself.
It is my choice. So, go with it girl. You can get where you need to
be. I know you can. SMILE. :) Now, feel better. That's an order!
Or I will hunt you down and make you smile.
Well, I have talked way too much. Got to go.
Love ya girl,
Later,

Hi there my sweet buddy,

Looks like you kinda doing a bit of soul searching like me. These journals really make a big diffence........at least for me. I took your advice and did some reflecting and reading some past entries and it helps. I feel a little better today......Thank you:o Now if I can help you that would be wonderful. Be careful with them excersises on The Firm, I dont want you to permanently injure yourself. I am serious, I nearly fell off using both steps, so now I only use one, when it calls for 2 I use the tallest one. Also have you tried doing your work outs in front of a full length mirror. I have always done this and it works............Lets you see your form, to be sure you are doing it correctly. Anyway.......see your clothes are fitting better.........so your progress is still coming along nicely. And I am proud of you! Plus, the having somebody like Hicks is a blessing..........he loves you unconditionaly and that is absolutely wonderful. I am so happy for you. Need to run for now.......sure hope you are doing better today. Big Hugzzzzzzzz!

Well, drum roll please, I am weighing in at 207, two pounds down, God does that feel good. Eating was great yesterday, had a nice dinner with bro and sis in law and the kids...it was fun. Hicks and I are going to be watching the kids till Friday, we are happy and excited and the kids are freaking out, they can't wait. They know how much fun we will all have. SO that stats today, can't wait.
I am feeling a bit better today, sometimes are just harder than others. I thank John for having this site for our use, it has really helped me.
RG~I really want to thank you for the nice post. It is so great that we have good DH's, I can't imagine having a bad one. Growing up I had to deal with my dad always calling me fat and just being a dink about my weight, I feel so happy that that part of my life is over, I can't imagine marrying someone and them being rude and unsupportive and spending my adult life the same as my childhood...thank God for our DH's and for all of you guys on here, you really help.
Blue~I would like to thank you also, you have been there so much for me, I really appreciate everything. I am glad your feeling better, great job on your loss! As for the firm, I think I will try using the shorter step. Hicks new I was really upset about my knee not liking the fanny lifter, so he looked up somethings about it. I am between 5"1-"2, the fanny lifter is geared for people who are taller, so it will stress my knees, so I think your right, and I will try one step. I will also try the mirror thing, I think that may help also.
Today is the first day of my favorite month, its so nice and chilly...love it!! Hicks and I broke out the down feather comforter, and we stayed cozy all night. :)

Sophie, I agree about using the one step. I just use the highest
one too. Maybe one day I'll do both together but it's gonna
take some time. I feel alot more comfortable with just the one
high one. The two together is really high. With all the weight I
still have on me that's a lot of weight to be on one leg at a time.
I think that's what makes it tough. I think once I've lost the
weight it'll be alot easier to lift that high. I love this time of the
year too. I love it when you can wear jeans and t-shirts and be
comfortable not hot and have to slip on a sweatshirt in the
evening.
Take care and I'll talk to ya later,

Hi Soph,

I'm glad you gonna step it down a notch.....lol pardon the pun. I think it is in your best intrests, especially with that prior knee injury. Sounds like you're gonna have a ball with the kids. Let me tell you them little ones will give you a workout and thats a fact.
How sweet of Hicks to be so involved with your routine, that is just so kewl. My hubby supports me but doesn't go that far. He gives me motivation tips like: "Hey babe, look I can now hold my wrists when we hug......or "You are doing great babe, your blouses and shirts don't bulge anymore" LoL I have to laugh at him and smile because he truly means well...........these are compliments to me....Hee hee. We have freeze warnings for tonite, how bout you? Supposed to get down to 19 tonite. Brrrrrrr I can feel it already. Have a great day today!

Well, bro and sis in law couldn't go away, so we don;t have the kids:( They were crying so bad...we were really upset too...There were supposed to go to Toronto for a drs appointment. Bob got a DWAI 13 years ago, he never knew he couldn't cross border without filling out paper work, so they couldn't go. Food was good all day, water was alright, no workout. Today so far so good Brought water to work, had granola bar this morning with a banana. I have soup for lunch and not sure about dinner yet...something warm. Its really chilly here today, last night we had frost. I just love these days:o
RG~I don't feels so bad knowing that others use only one step...makes me feel like I am still doing well.
Blue~your hubby sounds so cute!!! Sometimes Hicks says things like that also...they just don't get it...haha, but we know they are meaning well. WOW, 19 there, thats cold! It was about 29-30 here last night, its 42 right now, I love it!! Stay warm

Too busy to post alot. had a nice day with Hicks and now I am at work and it sucks...lol Be back in morning

Too busy to post alot. had a nice day with Hicks and now I am at work and it sucks...lol Be back in morning

Last night was INSANE at work...never do I ever want another night like that...too many kids and assholes...
Did fine with my eating till I got home with Hicks. He wanted Burger King, so we went. I got one of those new Santa Fe sandwiches that are 5 grams of fat...I didn't like it...so I had some of ...okay MOST OF Hicks fries. When I got home I ate a big bowl of cereal, that was at 11 PM!!!! And I wonder why the scale is up today...I will be good today and it should go back down. I am struggling today, I want to go and eat everything in food court, so I am staying in my store and not leaving for anything!! I work till noon, go home hang out with Hicks and then come cake here for night duty...so I will check back in then.

I am back here at work. Not liking my job today, boss can be a dolt sometimes, just doesn't listen sometimes. Hicks and I had a nice afternoon, went to an art show and then went home and took a nice nap, I did not want to get up and go back out in the wet coldness to come back to this hell hole that I work in....Gosh I am so nice today.
Food~well, what can I say, I have overate a bit, yesterday I did, today is okay so far. I tend to have a problem when I go home and Hicks works late, he works till 4 am, I don't want to be home alone, food is there...so I am planing a walk with my sis in law and them a WATP video when I get home. By then it will be bed time for Soph. I may have to bring food to Hicks at work, that will take some time up also, so I just hope to stay busy.
We have Sunday off, not sure yet what we will be doing, I know we are going to sis and bro i laws for dinner and to hand out with the kids, if weather is good we are taking them to the park. So I hope it will be a nice stress free, work free, food binge free day:D

I am at work watching Dr, Phil, its such a learning time for me, so many of the people on the weight loss show see things the same way as me...its so nice to see that we all go through the same things.
No workouts for me all weekend, not feeling to great about that. Food was okay, last night Hicks and his sister made homemade mac and cheese, how much fat is in that?!?! I did have some, it was so yummy! I am really fighting the urge to binge...I need to figure this crap out. Sat night Hicks called and asked if I could bring him food from McD's at work. He wanted a double cheeseburger and a McChicken, well, I bought two of each, if he can eat that why can't I? Stinking thinking...so I did eat them, then I felt bad after. I told Hicks about it, he asked me what I had ate for the day, I didn't eat much at all, it had been to busy at work...so he was right in a way. I should have picked a better food choice, but it wasn't a flat out binge, I had not ate since breakfast, this was 10 pm, I guess was hungry...I just need to get this **** under control. I want to bad to be in shape and to be that state trooper, I need to get back on track. I did so well all last year, right up till Mom died, I was losing almost every week till that day. Its like my motivation just left...I need to get back on the ball. Its like I want to workout, but then other things pop up, work, Hicks, life in general...I used to make sure I had that time, I put other things off for my workouts, they were at the top of the list. I miss my Richard tapes, I miss the people on them...I miss the firm, I miss Leslie Sansone...:o I was supposed to get done at work at 4, enough time to get home and go for a walk, told Hicks that was what I was going to do. Now, I get here and I am here till 5, boss is ALWAYS late, Hicks will be home at 6 and we have to go to an appointment tonight. I want to do a tape tonight, but I have no clue what time I will get home, it will be really late...I could just scream!!! I better go, so much to do. Maybe if I get off here, put some good music on and get the store cleaned up, I will feel better...lets hope!

Well I was going to have soup for lunch, I went and bought it, it was so salty I had tp throw it out. Now I am stuck here till 5 with nothing!!!:(

Sophie, If things don't get to going better for you, I'm gonna
have to come to NY. and do something about it. Then you can
come down here to SC. and help me out. Girl, I know the feeling.
I have got to get back on track. no exercise for me all weekend.
Haven't really done anything in about a week. But I hope to get
started back tomorrow. We can do this. Like you said you did
so well last year. You can again. Just know you're doing this for
you. And of course Hicks reaps the benefits of your good health
too. So, let's pull ourselves out of this slum together. We can
do it. Well, gotta go, Talk to ya later.

River~your on, lets hold each others hand and jump back into this game...you ready?
Last night was okay. Had lots of water, Hicks took we out to pizza hut, I didn't want to go, but he said we would get thin and crispy veggie lovers, this coming from him is a huge deal, he would really rather have meat lovers pan pizza! We also had salad, it was a nice night. After we went to sis in laws and we went for a hour walk, well, Hicks roller bladed...it was a nice fall night.
Brought soup from home for lunch, chicken veggie, can't wait to heat it up...yumm! Brought my water and a diet ginger ale, I hope I have a good day. I am staying positive. I am planning another walk with Nikki today after work, and maybe a tape also when I get home. Hicks won't be home till late so I have lots of time to myself. I have lots of work here at work, moving the store around, cleaning, so theres alot of moving and cals burned. Today I feel good.

Update: soup was good
feeling really tired
Hicks called, he will be home when I get home, gets to leave early. He wanted to do all the fall cleaning tonight:( I guess I should be happy, my babe wants to help clean, but he turns into "turbo cleaner from hell" and we always end up getting mad at each other...we do not clean the same way...wish me luck!!

Hey Sophie, I'm so glad you're feeling good today. We are gonna
be just fine. You and me. we can stay on track. You and Hicks
did really good at the pizza place. And good luck with the
cleaning. I hope you make it thru it without too much
disagreement. But then you know the making up is so much
fun too. He....He..... while off to get supper, Talk to ya later.
You hang in there. You're doing great. FEEL GOOD TOMORROW
TOO!!! It makes the day better. Hey, I could use one of those.
I know mine will be tomorrow and the days after too. I'm so
excited about this week. well, gotta go.
bye

Hi, Sophie. Our newspaper printed this little poem this morning, and I wanted to share it with you, since you enjoy autumn so very much.

"'Come,' said the wind to the leaves one day.
'Come o'er the meadows and we will play.
Put on your dresses scarlet and gold,
For summer is gone and the days grow cold.'"
- A children's song from the 1880s

Well, here is an update: The other day I did not want to go home to Mr. Crazy Cleaner, at was supposed to get done at 4 and meet Hicks at 4:30. At 4 I caught a shoplifter, he stole from my store and 3 others, so I was tied up with that till after 5...which means I didn't get home till 5:45...Hicks thought I was late on purpose...LOL. We got most of the cleaning done, changed the living room around, it looks good, no major fights, all is good. Food has been good, but I need to up my workouts, I have been taking walks, but I need to jump back into my videos. Hicks and I picked up the kids from school and took them to get their pumpkins, they were so happy, then they had a book sale at their school so we took them there and got them some books, it was a nice day off. SO in a nut shell, everything is looking good. Hicks and I have Sunday off and he said we can take another day shopping trip, so I can't wait!
RG~your right, we can and WILL do this! How was your weds alone in house?
Jo~thank you so much for the poem, it is so nice!!! I feel so wonderful that you thought of me, thanks again.

Breakfast~two slices of low fat whole wheat toast, a few squirts of ICBINB spray, 1/2 tbs of crunchy PB and raspberry jelly
Snack~apple crisp granola bar
Lunch~bowl of grilled chicken pasta and veggie soup, an apple and a PB granola bar
Dinner~not sure yet, its mom-in-laws b-day, so we will be going there for cake tonight, I will have a small piece depending on what kind she has.

Hi there sweetie gal,

I am feeling alot better today.........things are starting to get back to normal. Thank you for your caring while I was in the dumps, it means alot. You are so lucky that you have Hicks in your life. I enjoy reading your stories about you and him! To find your soulmate is a real blessing and it sounds as if you found yours. I hope your knee is doing better. I haven't done the firm in over a week either. I did not have the focus for it.......figured I was safer sticking to the treadmill. It's been Indian Summer here this past week..........truly beautiful! We celebrate Autumn Glory this weekend, it is a festival that started yesterday and runs through Sunday. Will probably go out Saturday for the parade and festivities. You have a great day!

Dinner last night was a bigger than I needed bowl of cereal, but it was good and I feel okay about it. I did even manage to do a tape, I did Blast and Tone(32) and 15 minutes of Disco Sweat, then I had to get ready to leave, 47 minutes total, not bad. I really enjoyed getting my tapes out. Today is a day off, I am at work all day, will not get home till close to 11, so no tapes for me. I plan on doing another Richard tape Sat, looking forward to it.
Breakfast~same as yesterday, plus a small cup of apple cider
Lunch~cup of tomato mac soup with a nice salad and a diet coke
Snack~brownie (bad Soph) and another cup of cider
Dinner~not sure yet, will eat late with Hicks
Otherwise, I had a nice night, I did have a small piece of mom in laws cake, it was okay. Hicks and I went to my bosses house to hang out, he is MUCH better at home than he is here at work, we all had to get groceries so we went together. It was fun, we laughed alot.
On the way home, the moon was SO bright, it was amazing, it was also really warm out and Hicks and I had the windows down and we were listening to Counting Crows. It was just a nice moment. Hicks put his had on mt cheek and told me he fell in love with me all over again, I was all :c( what a nice thing for him to say, he is so nice, I am so lucky to have him, and so thankful!
Blue~I am more than happy that things are looking better for you, I was worried about you for a bit, still am but not as much! As for the firm, I would like to get back into it, but I am going to stick with some easier tapes for a bit and see how the knee feels.

Oh Sophie, How sweet of Hicks. Don't you just love moments
like those. Glad you got to do some tapes. I'm hoping to get out
the firm tapes when I get back from the beach. I need to get
settled down. And should be able to after the beach trip.
Girl, I had more than just Wed. Parents are staying at the beach
for at least 2 wks. Me and DH and Son are going to join them
Mon. but we've had the house to ourselves for 5 whole days till
we leave Mon. It has been WONDERFUL. I told DH I was so
relaxed and happy, I can't explain the feeling, I told him I feel all
gigglely inside. I'm like a teenager with the parents gone. Is that
crazy for a 43 yr. old to feel. Well, it's a good feeling anyway.
Sorry, to take up so much on your journal. I am a talker tonight.
You're doing great. Keep up the good life.
Later,

River~well I am glad you had fun in the house so far, keep it up!!!! I do feel better getting back into the tapes, I miss doing them, I just need to really keep it up. Have a great weekend.
I had a nice night w