I totally blew my last journal and last attempts so I am start ing again (and again and again and again). I had a horrifying tought the other night and had hoped that it would motivate me a little but all it did was make me sad. I realized that I am problably going to have another fat picture in the yearbook school year book (annual). I loathe the thoguht of having my picture taken much less having it in the year book looking like this. I really can't stand myself and mostly I hate this insipid whining that I have constantly found myself doing. I have to get a grip or I will never be the person on the outsdie that I know is there on the inside.
What is the most frustrating is that I have no idea how to lose this weight. I have tried everything. Well, obviously not everything because I am still FAT. I have sdne slimfast, RS, Low carb, counting calories. I know a lot of the problem in that I don't/can't exercise. Anything I do I have to do with the kids, especially the baby. If I want to do an exericse tape I have to wait until he is asleep or he is under my feet. (He now climbs out of his exersaucer) And then of course when the baby is asleep my older son feels like it is time I should spend with him. I don't like to exercise when Bill is here because 1) eventhough we have been married for almost 13 years I get emmbarrased trying ot do anything physical in front of him, and 2) he always makes me feel like I haven't done enough. When I get back from walking with the kids all hot sweaty and panting for air he will look at me and say, "I thought you were going for a walk." What I would absolutely love to be able to do is water aerobics. I did it in college, for credit believe it or not, and loved it and was good at it. but around here it is expensive and time restrictive. I have to work everything around the kids. Mack does start soccer soon adn I will be able to walk while he is practicing, I hope. I know all the parent book and all the experts say, "You have to make time for yourself." Yeah right.
Oh well, that's enough for this whine session. I am going to do some thinking and will check in again.

I feel your frustration, Mo (hope it is ok if I call you that...to be Canadian is to abbreviate names without compunction).

Re: the exercise...how early would you have to get up to be the first one up in the morning? For a period of time I used to get up at 5:30 am to do an hour on the Nordic Trak...I lost weight and firmed up. Would something like that work for you?

Take care and good luck with your new journal beginnings.

HI Mohigan, I like the title of your journal...and it looks like youve thought thru some things. Kids make is harder...or maybe more interesting, but there are always ways to get around it and get the exercise in. WOuld your DH watch the kids while you exercise? I bet he would if you talked to him..or Do you have a friend who could watch the kids for a hour while you exercise, and in turn you return the favor by watching hers? How about a stroller for the little one and letting your older boy ride his bike while you walk? I did that for years when my daughter Sarah was 6 and James was 2, we were out walking as much as we could...she sure did get to be a great bike rider. She plays soccer too, she is now 10, and that is my favorite time to walk, during her practices.

Are you going to keep a food journal? That is one of the best tools out there.

I wish you well on your journey. I believe in you and know you can do it Mohigan. Take care. :flower:

Thanks for all the encouragement!!! No I have no problem with abbreviations. I do it myself then forget what the original was :tomato:

To be the first one up would essentially not go to bed.:c( Hubby gets up about 5:30. School sarts again in a couple of weeks and my daycare situation has change for the better time wise (and the worse money wise) so I should be able to do more after school. I do try to walk with the kids and occasionally it works out, They definately make things interesting. Cam gives me extra miles by throwing things out of his pack and making me go back and retrieve them.

I hate making excuses and that is what this sounds like. I just have to make a decision and make it work.

I did pretty good today then binged a little this evening. I had good reason to though. For all of you who have heard me rant about the house...WE GOT THE LOAN!!!. I couldn't believe it. I feel like I have a new lease on life. There is so much to do that I now feel like I have purpose!

Glad to hear you are having a better day...me too! I am on track with Atkins and I have been active all day painting in my daughter's room...or it would be more accurate to say I have been getting it ready to paiint and painting the door frames from almost black to white.

Have a good day tomorrow.

:rose: I just had to stop by and say "HI"! I've been reading your journal...Wow...I remember when the kids were small...Boy, I was blessed to get a shower in before sunup..if at all!!! I know it is time consuming and all! Praise God about the HOUSE!!! I'll rejoice with you!
That will be wonderful for you!
It's easy to feel bad about not exercising enough, and I know about the "thought you were going for a walk" thing....believe me!!!!!......You know what? I think the easiest thing to do with the kids...relax and play with them...take them to the park daily and spend 30-60 minutes....YOU swing!...YOU slide!....YOU play tag!....Best way to get the exercise and the kids will see you having fun too! It's great for the spirit too! Helps to relieve alot of stress and it is refreshing and fun.:D
LUV YA!:rose:

P.S. When you get back from the park, it won't be long and the baby will want a nap...fresh air...puts em out!!! Then you get a break for a nap or just some quiet time to read with the older one or whatever....just some incentive...tee hee!

Thanks for commiserating :) . I do try to do as much as I can withthe kids and now with the move there will be plenty to keep me busy. I have also been thinking of other small things I can do to get more in. My classroom is on the far side of our campus and I could start walking around the block to get to the office instead of cutting across the football field. Also I seriouly need to stop avoiding the steps. I thought about walking while I read essays and homework on my planning period but I don't think I can walk and read without getting run over.
I am on this amazing high since finding out about the house. the payments aren't even scaring me. I know we can handle what ever comes.