ok.. so what i wanna know is no matter how much weight i lose no matter how hard i try and no matter how many compliments are given why am i never satisfied.. why is my weight never good enough.. i dunno but as of now ive gained back my weight i worked hard to lose and as i look at old and new pictures i get depressed.. body image is so important to me not bc i care what other ppl think ( i really do ) but mostly for myself, mostly bc im not what I want to be and i dont know how to get the willpower to follow through and do it.. i almost know everything about losing weight except whats actually right for me... it sucks and i need help if anyone has any advice please reply@!

:rose: I know what you mean, the tyrant in us that is never satisfied!! You know how we've all met tyrants, they are not happy no matter what you do...at work you can do everything but dance on the moon and the boss may still find fault with it, well, sometimes we are the hardest on ourselves.
You know what I realized the other day? I realized that I am sometimes my own worst enemy! My husband doesn't care if I have a piece of cellulite that won't go away, frankly, he's tired of hearing about it! Other people don't look at you and criticize (well, not as often as we percieve), but we have had a lifetime to study ourselves and we spend more time thinking about ourselves than any other person on this earth! So basicly we are a selfish bunch!
I think if you have yourself on your mind all the time, you will be like this, it is depressing, thing is, I've fallen in to this trap too...and It has taken prayer and God's grace to pull me out.
I think the fastest way to not think about yourself is to get your mind on someone else.
This may be in the back of your mind for a while, but as you get to know the Lord and find out who you are in Him, then you won't feel like this anymore, hopefully. I still have my days....Believe me, but I now have hope!
I hope it helps you just to know you are NOT the only one, but sadly you probably represent the majority! :rose:

I know what your going through, I think we all do, because at some point in our lives [or our day] we've had the feelings your having. I would love to tell you there some magic something that you can turn on to make you feel better about your body, but its not out there.

The best advice I was ever given about learning to like your body was ... stand in front of a mirror naked every day, pick out one thing about yourself that you think looks good [in my case it was quite often my hair, now days my shoulders], and focus on that. As time goes on you'll find more and more things to like about yourself. The friend who told me to do this, told me that for a long time all she could find to like on her body was her finger nails 8-| but you got to start somewhere.

Believe me when I tell you that, you too love something about you.

That's great advice ladies!

Vtmom, I try to do the same thing too. Mostly, like you, it's been my hair (and nails!) but since hubby has been making me run so much, I'm starting to like my legs...Even my thighs!!! (Alert the Media! A woman is starting to like her thighs!)

Don't let bad feelings get you down. I know they come to me every single day. But I also exercise every day (well, almost every day) and try to eat better. I'm not anywhere near where I want to be, but every day I get a tiny bit closer to my goal. I also realize that somewhere, someone who is bigger than me has seen my body and thought "Wow, I'd love to be her." So that makes me feel better. If I think that about other women's bodies, someone has to be thinking it about mine, right???

Rikki:D

Almost feel out of place here being a guy and all. The truth is that I am just as critical on myself as you ladies are. I've been overweight to obese all my life. Being taller and long waisted, i carry most of it in my abdominal region. I will look in the mirror and find "perceived" imperfections. I still have 40 pounds to go, but the critical voice in my head is a toughie.

One thing I've been doing it is telling it out loud "SHUT UP!" and it quiets that voice for a while. Another good one is saying "STOP" out loud. This is a proven psychological technique to help control negative thoughts. Let me give you an example:

(Looking in mirror)

"God, you're fat! You haven't been exercising enough or eating too much or you're gut would be gone"

"STOP!!!"

"What do you mean stop? You need someone to be hard on you"

"SHUT UP!!! I'm doing the very best that I can to lose weight, exercise and take care of myself. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm getting there. It will take time, but it will happen"

You can think of tons of positive things to say to the judge, jury and hangman in your head. Takes time and practice. I did this with overcoming childhood abuse and it did wonders for me. Now trying to apply it to my weight. Just keep on trying all

Originally posted by rikkij
That's great advice ladies!

If I think that about other women's bodies, someone has to be thinking it about mine, right???

Rikki:D

Lots of people have the grass is greener on the other side. I bet there are several 260 lb people who would want your weight. So I think you are on to something here.

THis week I caught myself sayng " i hate myself" how can anyone love me if i hate myself. my boyfriend never agrees with me that i look bigger but the scale is telling the truth.. I want to come home one weekend from college and suprise everyone that im not all talk and i CAN lose the weight ive been longing to lose. Any Advice??? ..

SWTchic-
I am so sorry to hear that you are telling yourself that you hate yourself. This really does break my heart! I hope that you really don't feel this way about yourself over 23lbs. Come on, you are worth more than that! Right?

The advice that I can give you about losing the weight is that you HAVE to do it for yourself. I once lost 65 lbs. to go on a cruise, I felt great b/c of my accomplishment and had a wonderful time. But when I came home, my eating habits went back to their old ways and I gained all of the weight back, plus another 50 lbs. I think that months worth of 5 a.m. gym times, depriving myself at family get togethers, and meal planning wasn't worth one week while on a cruise. Fact is, you can't do it for a trip home, or a vacation, or a boyfriend/husband, or anyone but YOU!

Also, the fact is that you have to want it bad enough. I know that I want it badly, very badly. But obviously I don't want it bad enough b/c I can't stick with it. When you want it enough, it WILL come off.

I'm not trying to be too tough on you, I am just stating the obvious. I hope it helps.

Allison
:)

Work on getting the self hate out of your life. I think that will be just as beneficial if not more beneficial then wait loss.

You know, I am trying to focus less on how I look and more on how I feel, and how good choices benefit my health. How not gaining a pound is a good thing... even if I don't weigh 50 pounds less, and least I don't way even 5 lbs more.

antigone - That is a very positive way to look at things.

THanx everyone for all the replies.. I am getting alot better on how i feel about myself and i am READY to get my butt in gear and shed pounds.. Ive been drinking tons of water, eating small breakfast, lunch and dinner.. no snacks taking vitamins and hitting the gym a couple times a week- but im working on goin gmore often even if i dont have ne one to go with because this IS for ME and not anyone eles... any other advice? or tips that will help??

Think about your health and doing things for your better meant is a great start.

hey everyone! I feel better already- i've been keeping up with the gym and trying to watch what I eat. I feel alot better about my body and have it in my head imthe only one who can change my physical appearance if i really want it that bad. and i want it extremely bad- here i come SWT REC center ;)

So the gym is going well im going about 3 to 4 times a week and stocking up on fruits and veggies and the occasional treats to satisfy cravings.. immmm fighting off freshman 15 but it needs to go better and not like its been going.. its tough and im tougher but this food here is the MEALS they serve and its hard picking healthy here.. any advice?