So this is where my Awesome Accountable buddies have been. I thought something besides me was a little different in the buddy forum. Everyone is busy with their journals. Not wanting to feel left out I am starting my own journal.

I had a journal when I first started diettalk two years ago! I can’t believe it’s been two years and I have nothing but 70 extra pounds to show for it. And I wasn’t skinny to begin with.

More than anything I need a place to vent my feelings. I don’t want to keep dumping on my buddies or anyone else. This seems as good a place as any. Let me put this disclaimer in my journal:

YOU READ THIS JOURNAL AT YOUR OWN RISK

This journal may not be pretty or amusing or fun, but it will be honest. Why would I even think of making this public if I plan on divulging every private thought and feeling? Hmm, good question.

The answer is twofold. There may be something I say that mirrors what a reader feels. Maybe if I am going through something and come out into the light, I can help another feel better. And there is another reason. I feel very alone right now. A part of me wants to say, hey world, I’m here and I matter too. It’s my way of validating me.

I chose the title for my journal – “I am willing to let go” from the Louise Hay affirmation cards. It reads. “I am willing to let go. I release others to experience whatever is meaningful to them and I am free to create that which is meaningful to me.”

This statement means a lot to me. The obvious is I am willing to let go of the negative thoughts and feelings that keep me from letting go of excess weight. I also release my negative thoughts and feelings surrounding my ex husband so I may be free to create a wonderful life for me. There are a lot of issues that I need to heal. The good news is I am ready.

Let the journal begin…….

Hey there TS! It does seem like alot of the AA's have gone, but a few of us are still going strong on the buddie thread and here on the journal thread. I know you'll enjoy it here too, just don't forget the AA's!! I will stop back in a few days, I hope things are looking up for you.

Love ya gal! You let go, send it off into the wind, cast it off forever. I hope you feel the freedom of your new start 10 thousand times more than you even thought possible.

:hug:

Hey Spring,

So glad to see you started a journal. I find it is a very useful tool in helping me reach my goals. I know that it isn't a "private" place but it is a place I can come and vent and just be me. And when I return I can find lots of warmth love and support. You have come so far in your journey and you are doing so wonderfully. It has become apparant more and more by your posts. Your self confidence and inner strength shine threw. Have a great weekend!
Sandi:)

My my............what a workout walking all the way back here to find your journal.........LOL! Havent seen you in a bit. Hope that you are doing well. I know you get busy and have lots to do, it's just I tend to miss the gang when not around. We have lost so many just since I joined. Things going a bit smoother for you I hope. It is hard for me to know what to say, but I genuinely care and am here to support you. Take care of you and Chopper.....hope to see ya real soon. Sandi

Java! Hi! Nice bumping into you here on this avenue haha
HI thinkspring, I love that name, oooh I cant wait for spring.

I want to say something here. About what Think said and JavaBlue said!
Think said, I dont want to burden my buddies and Blueeyes said, well its not private but...

If we didnt want to do either one, then we would just go buy a notebook or open a file on our own computers and voice our issues there.

We want to be heard.

Or we wouldnt be airing things in a public place that can be seen by anyone in the world who owns a computer.

Maybe we just dont feel heard in our lives hey?

...the ponderer LOL