This is kindof a journal, kind of not, whatever.

I just wanted to say that I am so sick of some people here feeling that they have a right to bash people around. What the heck is that.

It seems there is always someone trying to stir up trouble somewhere. They go off and send a little private message to some unsuspecting soul and smack them 'up-side-the-head' with it.

Come on people, lets treat everyone with respect. On the whole, people who come here are looking for something, something that will get them on the road to improving themselves, making their lives better. Most people are open to ideas, suggestions, and when they get comfortable and feel safe they sometimes share the hurts that have been holding them back for years and years.

The next stage is that they are also able to help others, they tentatively offer a little suggestion there, a little one here and find that people are actually helped by it. They are shocked that something they did or said can actually help someone else.

But then, BAMO!!!!, some other 'little' person feels that that is not good enough, that they should be shown their mistakes, that they should be 'hung' for saying something. Good grief. We don't want to be all alike, what a horrid thought that would be.

So let's just back off a bit, lighten up, be positive.

Maybe we should remember the old saying, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". Or at least if you can't say it 'nicely' don't say it at all.

DT is a great place, but a few people can make a mess of it, don't let it be you.


JMHO

Nancy,
i am so happy to see this post from you...i have seen a lot of negative little snide posts here and there lately and its sad that its happening here at a "support" site..
Nobody here has all the answers, lets face it if they did they wouldnt need to come here for support with their weight loss journey's.
Just because someone has different beliefs or methods for losing weight doesnt make them any less valid to me..if it works for you, then go for it!
If people thought a bit more before they posted their responses then maybe this negativity would stop...
Sending nasty, negative private messages to me is just a cowardly act... as if if nobody else sees them doing it then its ok... these people are never upfront enough to air their opinions openly..would rather attack someone where nobody else can see them for who they are...
Diettalk is supposed to be a place to get support, lets keep it that way!
hugs bell :)

Right on Bell, thanks for the post!!!

I agree totally, Nancy. Diettalk is a support forum, and those who post should concentrate on being supportive.

Great thread Nancy!
Thanks for sharing with all of us!!!!!!!!!
:rose:

I totally agree with you Nancy....I think for the most part folks are pretty supportive...I guess if it is an off topic thread in the pub we can have lots of differences of opinions LOL...depending on the subjects.

And I would also like to add there is a place to report a post if you realy feel one is offensive....right near where you would edit your post...


Take care
Louise

BRAVO CRAZY!

You are totally correct!

This site was begun to give support and help to all people seeking to lose weight and become healthier through diet and exercise. The purpose with our Journals is to give one another support, suggestions and encouragement.

I really do not understand what is so difficult about helping one another.

If someone is "bashing" another person here at DT, I do hope they are regretting their words and actions now. Life is just too short to waste it by holding bad thoughts inside our hearts toward anyone.

Sandie

thanks for the support.

And I agree that we can have differences of opinion but shoving our opinion down someones throat is very inappropriate and not very mature behaviour. And so is doing it through a pm, which are both what people were doing here.

Glad to see that you all feel this is a place to be supportive. Good for you.

I just wanted to say that I agree with all of you. But on the other hand, for as long as I have been here everybody has been so nice and respectful to me. I have gotten lots of support and encouragement here. I think the ones that are snipeing at one another may not last long here anyway.

I totally agree with you, Nancy...... I have to say from another perspective, having heard a lot about some of the people here in the "Journals" section getting slammed from time to time, it makes people afraid to start journals. I have been toying with the idea of doing one here at dt and honestly haven't been able to make myself do it for fear of people doing just what you talked about. It's sad really that people have to be so mean.

People..... please remember that just because your fingers are typing and you're not face to face with someone saying these things to them, doesn't mean that the words don't hurt and sting just as badly...... a good rule of thumb before you say something that could potentially hurt someone is to read it back to yourself imagining that it came from someone TO you and think how you might take it or how it might be perceived. That old "Golden Rule" has some real good pointers to it, don't you think? *grin*

And there were some great thoughts on this thread.... thanks for mentioning it, Nancy.

Nancy:

Couldn't agree with you more on this thread. This is a support site after all. And as you said if you can't say anything nice then don't say it at all. Hope everyone reads this thread and respects the rights of others on here for support only. No one diet or way of losing weight is perfect for everyone. We must each find our own way to battle our weight loss journey. And no matter what way that is I for one will support those decisions. Because until you walk in another person's shoes you have no right to judge them on anything.

Judy2:ex:

Hi Nancy
If people can't keep a snide comment or remark to themselves, I don't think they should be allowed to post it (although there is no way of stopping it) I do think there is more good support here than bad though and generally everyone I have had the good fortune of meeting has been nice.

We are all individuals and individually we put on weight and individually lose weight, not all by the same methods.

I often wonder when I read about hurtful comments do people post them with that intention ?

take care

:coach: DT can stand for Delightful Talk program or
Deteriorating Talk program...
We have that power.

Maybe if we all just take a deep breath and realize a few things this wont have to happen....
Text is voiceless, we dont actually always know the tone of the one speaking..
One person isnt 'badder' that the other... there is no such thing as being 'a little bit bad'. Bad is bad .. LOL ..And nobody is 'gooder' than the next person either.
If we talk about issues in PM's to HELP another, to figure out what could be wrong and offer help by doing it, I think that is a loving thing dont you all?
But, if the talk is to put someone else down because we might feel a bit better, or more worthy to breathe, then its wrong..

Nobody has all the answers...
Everyone has an opinion that should be respected..
Nobody has to accept all opinions and that should be respected..

and we are all just trying to get there!



:rose:

I like most people here at diet talk have only met with the best I guess because I have never seen but positive replies to any of my post a lot of encouragement but then again I read some post but then again not all because if there's someone in chat I rush over there.
But I do agree you should read what your fingers are typing your mind may not think the same. Be sure not to send anything Hurtful this journey for you for me for anyone out there is hard enough without the negative we need positive feedback.
If we did wrong we know we did and don't need to be bashed around about it but taken by the hand and lead back in the right direction. Hey sure didn't think I had that much to say on this subject.
See you in chat Nancy