for two weeks we have been going back and forth about whether to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl... We thought it would be fun to find out but didn't know if we should tell the grandparents and everyone or not. Finally we decided to go for it and find out the gender of the baby and let the grannies in on the news.

Friday we went to the hospital and the most lovely woman did our ultrasound. She is incredibly experienced and highly recomended. I was very nervous about the baby being healthy as this has been such a huge suprise. My AFP triple screening came out fine and she thoroughly went through the ultrasound and measured the head, umbilical cord, toes and all the weee cute little parts. She also looked at the liver and the heart and our little baby was in there cute as can be. I think the little one even had the hicups.

I have been doing relaxation tapes to help with labor and with this pregnancy so before the ultrasound I closed my eyes in the office and put my feet up and meditated hoping the baby would be awake.

Chet spends his days looking at blurry AFM images and was amazingly astute at reading ultrasounds. We came home and we looked at our tape on the VCR and images on the web. It was so amazing and ofcourse he thinks it is his new science project to study my ultrasound.

Wells gals.. Guess What we are having??? Come on guess? I was sure it was a boy.......But .....

We have no idea!!!!

The little one had the knees so close together that you couldn't get a view from either angle. Not a peak!!!! We only get one shot at this because student insurance does not cover more than one ultrasound so this little bundle of joy is gonig to be a total and complete overwhelming suprise come baby day....



I have passed through the hardest part of school and my pregnancy. Since I took my birth classes I am feeling more positive and energized and I am not nearly as defensive. I admit pregnancy took me by a storm and I am sorry for biting off heads but I think the old CJ is finally kicking in.

Nice to have you back CJ, LOL.

Don't worry, most of us know how you feel and are happy with you that you are feeling more like yourself again.

Hi CJ,

I guess the Fates have decided to keep you waiting, and all of us with you. Oh well, you won't be the first parents to give birth to a wonderful surprise. I know it is convenient to know ahead of time what the babie's sex will be, but it's not nearly as much fun. When it comes right down to it, it never matters anyway. We love them just the same.

I see your bottle has really moved right along the ruler there, and you are over the hill so to speak. Time sure does fly when you're having fun, doesn't it?

You keep right on taking good care of yourself dear girl. And enjoy your pregnancy. It's a wonderful time in your life.

Love n hugs,
Sandie

Hi Cj,
Hey you are not the first preggers lady to bite heads off. Seems I remember doing some of the same and I suspect a lot are right here saying, " Yep, me too".

I think it is so neat to have to guess which you are having!! I didn't know what I was having by any actual proof but my instincts said boy all 3 times!! I was right!!

So sweetie just enjoy being preggers and have fun planning and doing all the things new moms do. This is just the beginning of a new era for you!!

Have a super day!!

Love and hugs,
Lizzie

Congratulations CJ :cheer:

:cheers: that your child bring you and your husband all the joys in the world.

As always, Monica

CJ, it will be fun to be surprised. I know people who had an ultrasound and thought they "knew" only to be surprised. This baby has a mind of his/her own, and wants to keep you guessing. A strong willed baby for you and Chet is probablyl a good thing!

As far as the post about the premie baby (on your old thread), I know a couple of gals who had early babies due to pre-eclampsia. Both of the babies are doing great. They do so much better now than they used to be able to do, even ten years ago.

Glad you are feeling better. This trimester should be the best one of all three. So you should be fine for a few weeks.

Jo

So glad things are looking more positive with the worst of your school stuff over.
It will nice to be surprised as to boy or girl. I have heard of people being told the sex from the ultra sound and it was wrong. That would be the pits because people would have bought stuff.
I didn't see the bit about the premie baby on the old thread. But I often mention my niece and nephew. My sister delivered them at 24 weeks. The little boy was two pounds, the little girl was one pound. They will have their second birthday in two weeks. They would have had a very limited chance even a few years ago, but they are fantastic!
Pat

Hi CJ.
i love the title of your journal and reading about your ultrasound day bought back memories of mine also...
pregnancy does create turmoil for the hormones so biting a few heads off is par for the course :) i am glad you are feeling like your old happy self now!
So the little one is going to keep everyone guessing eh? Riley my son did that in 2 ultrasounds lol..
Wishing you a wonderful rest of your pregnancy :D
hugs bell :)

You guys are so sweet :hug:

Well my baby life goes on. I had great ambitions of continuing my exercise schedual in the mornings and I could do it physicallly but this baby needs more sleep and I just can't deny my body the extra 2 hours of sleep. I am trying walk more around campus and doing my good old kegul excercises. Two weeks to spring break!!!!! I can't tell you how relieved I am to catch my breath.

I want to go somewhere so bad but most of my friends are going on cruises( you can get them ultra cheap like 200-300 for the whole shebang) but I think that a pregnant gal on a boat is a very bad combination from many angles. Ofcourse we live in about the most beautiful climate you can imagine so it doesn't make sence to go north where it is snowing and the CA and FLA area will be expensive and well frankly insane!!! I did want to do a bike tour around southern arizona but my bike ride the other day was a pitiful showing of only 10 miles. Great for a pregant gal but I doubt that I can put up 50 miles a day in my current belly state.

I handed out some little cards for our new parent play group that I am starting. It is for new parents that give birth this year. Mostly first timers. We are going to get together as couples. We are going to do potlucks and get togethers. Atleast I hope I get a good responce. did I tell you that we met this couple that are totally into biking at our bith class? They are due in like two weeks. Chet hit it off with the husband so I think we might actually have a couple to go do things with. Ofcourse he forgot to asked the guys name!!! I know the wife so I will give her a call and see if she has delivered yet. Maybe we can share baby fun times and hiking with them.. Who knows it is kind of hard to meet couple friends to hang out with.

I have a Dr. appt today to pee in a cup. Chet is sure my midwife is going to laugh her tail off that I didn't find out about the gender. She thinks I need to relax and enjoy my pregnancy more. A little uncertanty probably wouldn't kill me.

School has miraculously gone ok. I am not winnning any records here but I have stayed in the game. Chet has done all the grocery shopping, cooking, driving me to class, and laundry. I just come home and drop in bed and get up the next day and put on clothes and go back to school. He is concerned about my bag gettting to heavy and so he meets me at lunch time and trades me books. God bless the man because I have not heard one complaint and he has been tireless about backing me up and being supportive. I guess all these years of knowing eachother have helped in that regard. He knows I am doing the best I can and thankfully he reminds me to take my vitamins and get my water intake for the day.

This baby may not tell us what gender it is but the little one sure is a tattle tale. I am trying to get research in the physiology dept before I look too pregnant as I think it will be a lot easier to get in with a professor and then let them find out . Well My belly is growing exponentially this week so I had better get these meetings arranged.

I miss you gals and try to pop in to journals as much as I can. I feel so fragmented here because I went from losing weight to putting all that on hold. It is amazing how many tortillas and smoothies I get to eat now pregnant. Something I had not experienced in two years.

So far I have a four pound gain and am at 164. I think that is about where I am supposed to be. I have finally got my appetite back so I have been eating more fruit ( something I sure missed dieting) and vegetables. Before the fiber was filling me up so fast I couldn't get enough calories but I am doing much better.

CJ,

Your idea of a little group of parents sounds wonderful. And I know how difficult it is to meet couples that you have something in common with. When I was working most of our social interactions were related to people we met at work. When we retired, and they were still working, we just didn't have much in common. And the working people had very busy lives.

I had two very good friends at the hospital. They both retired around the same time I did. One of my friends was really good about keeping in contact, and we E-mailed regularly as well as tried to make the drive occasionally (50 minutes) to see each other. But she was diagnosed with cancer and died after a two year fight.

The other close friend moved to a lake area, still only about a three hour drive. Steve and I used to see them as couples about twice a year before we retired. I sent E-mails regularly but she did not respond. I called but she didn't call me. The last time I talked to her was when she called to see if I was going to our friends funeral. So much for that friendship.

Sounds like you are doing well with your pregnancy and pretty good with school too. Your weight sounds very good. Take care of yourself and post when you can.

Jo

Hi CJ,
i got to within 10 pounds of goal weight when i became pregnant with my son...i felt odd being here at diettalk still whilst getting bigger but it certainly helped me to have the healthiest pregnancy possible..
Sounds like Chet is one heck of a good guy- coming and trading books with you...he's a keeper!
I think the idea of a parents group is great as you will have lots in common and make new friends also...
sounds like you are doing a great job at keeping everything in balance...
hugs bell :)

Hey girl...glad to hear from you and that you are doing well!

WOW...your baby will have to be a surprise...how do you feel about that?

Well...my SIL and her baby are doing ok!...Just 2 days after he was born they were able to take him off the oxygen and he was breathing on his own...on Monday of this week they asked her to bring in the car seat so they could test him sleeping in it!...Well...when I drove her to the hospital on Monday...little O was back on the oxygen...I guess he had some trouble breathing...they also heard a heart murmur and had ordered some tests...they let us know that if he needed to have heart surgery he would have to be transferred to Children's Memorial...we were so sad!!!

The results came back and his heart is ok...they have his oxygen lowered to 30% now...he has gained weight in the last 13 days...he has gone from 4.2 to 4.11...so this is good!...But we don't know when he will be coming home!...He is 2 weeks tomorrow!...So tiny and cute!

Stay healthy prego!...Try not to overstress yourself or do to much!

mcmarto

As you know, I have no pregancy advice to offer. BUT I am so happy to read that you are healthy and taking good care of yourself.

If you ever need advice on...well...small cats or hmmmm...well, that's about it (!), let me know, babe!!!

Miss ya!:hug:

Baby stuff
-----------------------
At first I couldn't feel the baby then about two weeks ago it felt like porcorn popping in my belly. Now the baby is active for a good portion of the day. About half way through class each day the little one flips around like crazy.

we had some friends suggest that we go to fetal photo to find out if the baby is a boy or girl. Well a hundred dollars is a stroller and then some. Really I think they were a bit shocked that we weren't all concerned about the gender. We have cute little names picked out but if anyone has some good suggestion I would love to hear them. I like names that can be initials like CJ,AJ,TJ , JD you know??

School stuff
-------------------------------
School is grueling. I had not written down a midterm on my calender( must have missed it at the beginning of the semester) well to my dismay last friday in class it was announced and about floored me as I am totally and absolutely over the edge as it is.

Hopefully I will survive with mostly Bs this semester. Monday I did catch a break. The professor said that we could use any code we wanted for part one of the project if we could find it. I searched fervently for this code because it is recursize hell and I didn't have the stamina. Well finally I gave up and proceeded to write my own non working code. Chet came in on monday morning at 2 am and made me go to bed. Well Monday I found some working code which means this project may get done after all. Another professor forgot to post the assignment and then let us know he would make it smaller since we had less time. To my dismay it was twice as long as any assignment we have done in the past. This and two midterms is making friday seem miles away. You know in the movie Poltergeist where she is running down the hall and it keeps getting longer? That is how I feel. Spring break starts friday but I will be working on stuff until monday before I can catch my breath.

I got my midterms back and it was a mixed bag. I did well in one. and REALLY REALLY bad in an engineering one. I made some sort of mistake at the beginning of the calculation and lost 25 points out of a hundred on that part alone. The teacher draws this line in the board and says " if you are below XXX' Start worrying.. I was 1 point above XXX.....UHHHG

Still after friday I only have six weeks to go and with any luck I will make it.

Exercise and diet stuff
---------------------------------------
Mostly being pregnant feels like I am on permenant IBprophen. I know women that have exercised religiously pregnant. Saturday we went for a nice little walk around Sabino Canyon. I came home and needed a three hour nap. I don't know how they do it but these hormones have relaxed all the muscles in my body. I wish I could exercise but I can't spare the three hour nap afterward.

My eating is a mixed bag. I am trying to eat more regularly but I don't know. my apetite comes and goes. I haven't gained astronomical weight or anything. I think I am up 6 pounds from the beginning. I suspect I will gain more my 7/8/9 month that are right around the corner. My belly has popped now so I spend a good portion of time trying to pick out a "less pregnant looking" ouitfit for school as I still need to choose my team for final projects in two weeks and I think it will be hard to convince a bunch of male CS majors to take me. Same goes for research though I am sure hoping that this project my Nuero professor has in mind will come through for me. It start in April and would be perfect. I could get the hours I need and save myself a class fall semester. I am trying to get whatever done now I can so that fall I have time for the baby and myself.


Job School and Baby stuff
----------------------------------------------------
The job hunt and insurance bonanza continues. I have a friend who is still trying to straighten out the insurance stuff. Chet is still looking for a job and if those two things work out we will be ok. If I stay with Student insurance I found out it will only cost us another 500 dollars. Which is good news. The bad news is the baby will only have coverage for 10 days after birth....

I was supposed to be studying like a maniac today but it is noon and I haven't even started. I got tooo burned out working the last three weekends. About last tuesday I started to get more tired and it seems my second trimester is giving way to exhaustion again. I am not sure if it is that I keep forgetting my vitamins or maybe I am not getting enough water or sleep so I am upping all three to see how I feel.


So far with baby stuff I think my mom bought a bouncer for the baby. So now I have a jogger stroller, a crib, and a bouncer. Other Grandma is making a baby crib set and I have about a dozen onsies for 0-3 months and a dozen for 3-6 months. Some friends sent me a gift card to target so I am keeping an eye out for sales.

Chet started the baby dresser last week. He has been over there on the weekends. He is enjoying making it but I think it is going to take like 6 more weekends to make and a couple more to stain. I am on week 23 so He has time to do it before the baby.

The birth classes are done for now and we will start back up in may. I am still doing my relaxation but frankly I am so tired that if I sit down to do it I just fall asleep anyway..

Things are going well but I can tell I am entering a new time in my life. Since I did so much leg work over the break, now I am just relaxing and enjoying my pregnancy. Having Sundays off from 3 hours of church and ten jobs has been phenomenal. I still can't believe I lived that life for 30 years. It is so nice to go for walks with Chet and get to sleep in and just relax. Defenitly one of those things you don't know what your missing until you try.

Take care and I will check in on Friday and get to everyone journal over Spring Break.

CJ, Friday will be here before you know it and then you will have "spring break". Sounds like you and Chet are hanging in there pretty good, considering everything going on in your life.

I think about you every day. But I certainly understand that right now you have your priorities right. Still, I do look forward to your occasional update.

Hang in there. The time is flying by. A new adventure awaits you, Motherhood.

Jo

Glad you are doing well!

You will make it!...Little baby O is home...since Monday!...yahoo!

mcmarto

Mcmarto
I am so happy for your sister. It just humbles me so much what they must have experienced. I am sending all my best thoughts her way. Thank God for modern medicine and good doctors.

Well I slogged through this week. I didn't hand in one assignment because there was no way I could even touch it since the professor handed it out way to late. It was less than 1% of my grade and so I just said "bite me" and moved on. I took my midterms even the ones I wasn't ready for and did the best I could.

Starting last tuesday I just started to get exhausted. Chet suggested that it could be allergies so I got really strict with my dairy and started feeling a bit better. Still I am not sleeping well and I am tired way to much. I have been working on drinking more water and getting myself straightened out.

I was planning on studying today and who knows I might but I am just plain beat. I think I need a good nights rest but maybe I will press on as I would like to actually have a spring break. I think we will spend a few days in phoenix baby shopping and looking. I hope they have some nice second hand stores there.

Chet uploaded some pics of me pregnant. I will post them when I get the link from him.

Hey CJ, enjoy your spring break. I'm glad to hear that you made it through your week and have some time off to rest.

My allergies have been particularly bad the last month or so. (It is spring in Texas.) So I have been snoring and not sleeping so good. Then I get tired and want caffiene and food. Oh well.

Have a great holiday.

Jo

OOOHHH...can't wait to see you prego!

I visited the little guy on Thursday...he is up to 5 pounds and 4 ounces...so cute...tiny!

My SIL looks great...she is back down to 145...and originally was 135 when she got pregnant...so she is 10 pounds away...and its only been 3 weeks!...She said she has no appetite!...

Ok...stay healthy...I hope you did well on those exams!

mcmarto

http://www.fullsizejeeps.com/jeeps/files/AZ_FSJers/CJhik.jpg

http://www.fullsizejeeps.com/jeeps/files/AZ_FSJers/baby.jpg


Heres some pictures. I have tons more to post because it is spring break and we decided to take a break and go to Organ Pike National Monument backpacking. I haven't done a lick of homework but it has been nice to have a break and just catch up on sleep.

My belly is growing up at top just below my ribs. I defenitly look pregnant now and I think everyone will notice when I come back from spring break. I have only a few shirts that will button up now:D

Husband and I have had three blow ups over the mother coming. He just thinks that the whole family can come out and get a hotel whenever they want after the baby is born. I told him NO WAY!!! His little brothers are 21/19/16 I am not having them here until atleast 4 weeks after the baby. I said I would be willing to take the baby home for Thanksgiving so the families can see the baby then but he is pissed off and I got called a few names over it. Really ironic as I only get called the B word when talk of his mother comes up ( like 5 times in our whole marriage) I am telling you his mother is digging herself a hole... My husband is defensive because the women is a lovely lady but she is pushy and incredibly stubborn. Which is really stupid because I like her and she could probably have come by herself just fine but now she may not get to come at all and I am really lobbying for atleast 4-5 weeks before I have a house full of people. They said they would get a hotel but I just have no idea what my recovery will be like.

As for my mom she has learned the hard way. She just called me and ask "What would you like me to do? I am willing to come out when you need me and then go home BY MYSELF!!!" So hence I am not all that perturbed with her. She can handle herself and be polite and she has learned that it is just easier to be easy going and have a nice visit. I think she will be fine and I am just going to have her fly out. Unfortunately that means she will be driving my car which scares the hell right out of me as she has wrecked or broken every car I have let her drive but I can't very well make her fly out AND rent a car.

I am sorry but I am so pissed at my husband right now I can't even tell you. He used to be like this all the time and hence we broke up for three months and now live in a different state from his parents. UHHHG

Anyways I am doing well and I will upload my pictures from the backpacking trip tonight and tell you guys more about how things are going ( hopefully on a positive note)

CJ

CJ, thanks for sharing that picture. Now I can believe it -- my eyes aren't lyin' -- you're pregnant! I can't wait until I can see you in a little over a month... Miss you, my friend! Hope you are feeling better!

Lisrey :x

CJ, I loved the picture. You look pretty good gal.

Sorry to hear about the uproar with DH over his mother. Boys and their mothers!!!! If you have a baby boy you will understand a little better. I can understand why you do not want a bunch of teenagers running around with a new baby. I don't understand why your MIL does not figure that out, must be a Morman thing.

Glad to hear you have enjoyed your spring break. School will be back soon and baby will be here before you know it.

Jo

Lovely pix! I'm so excited for you!

Just thot u might like to know that here in Asia, mothers who just gave birth usually hire a confinement maid to help them thru the 2 months recovery period. During this time, new mothers have to cope with recovery and learn to handle her new-born child. I'm sure it's not easy for any mother esp 1st-time mom. Even if you have someone to help you during this time, it won't be easy for you to entertain an excited out-of-state family who is visiting you. That's added stress for you even if your hubby agrees to help out. He should let you adjust to having the baby and coping with everything then open the invitation. As it is, thanksgiving is just a few months away from your due date. All the best in explaining this to your hubby.

Oh CJ...you look so cute...prego for sure!...

The ultra sound pic was nice too!

That is one thing I am not looking forward too when I get prego...his mom...thank goodness as the years have gone by he barely speaks to her...she is a bit annoying...but...I know she knows I will not put up with her bull!...

Can't wait to see more pic's!

mc

:) yep, there's a baby in there!!

Careful not to burn bridges you or hubby may need to cross later. AND, I really wish I had pictures of me with grandparents.

Still, loads of stress are a whole lot of no fun. Happy thoughts.

Great picture!

You said you feel like you are on permanent Ibuprophen.. you aren't taking that stuff, are you? (Geez, I sound like a nag)..

I hear you on the family visiting.. You should maybe let them come, stay in a hotel, and cook clean, etc for you for the first week.. It's after you get over the "holy crap, a baby just came out of me" that life gets hectic. But you have to go with what will give you the least amount of stress.. And (especially) moms should know that with the first baby, there is a lot of anxiety..

You're doing great!

Corinna

Jo it probably is a mormon thing but in this case it is more an upbrininging thing. My husband is very protective of his moms and the "little boys" because they had a tyrant step dad and he was the one to help raise them. Unfortunately he and his mom tend to get a bit overzelous about things when its not really necessary. He tends to make me out to be this monster out to get them. Its a knee jerk reaction and takes a while to get past. We had a fourth conversation yesterday where he finally figured out what was going on and is thrilled with how things worked out. Basically all along I have said they can come out after a few weeks. I think it sunk in. Now the mom is flying out on week 3-4 and the boys are driving down to pick her up a week or so later. This way I do not have to schedual people and with luck I will be back on my feet. We have agreed that if there is a C-section then all bets are off. Moms may come sooner or not at all and boys are not an option but he will let it go my way so I am fine about it.

Its odd really because you gals actually think the mothers would come and clean my house!!!! gosh you are so funny!!! Mormon woman talk a good talk but sometimes I think their mothers would eat their young if they could. I can say that If I were still in the church then the ladies would bring me one or two dinners ( I sure carried my fair share of casseroles in 31 years) but instead I have a friend that has offerend help and I am confident my husband can managed the cooking and cleaning after all he has done it for this whole pregnancy so I can finish school. I haven't cooked a meal in six months or done any laundry. I just go to school and franticall do homework.

Chet can handle a new baby and then some. Plus I think it is good from the get go to throw the guy in the ring. I think we coddle them too much and then they start thinking that the baby is mommies full time job and their recreational sport.

So FINALLY things are fine with the MIL. She is happy. He is happy and the pregnant lady is happy.

I did point out that his mother is going to have a heart attack when she sees me wearing short and the absence of mormon attrocious undergarments. One batch of laundry and she may run from the house screaming for dear life. I am really not kidding here guys. But owell.

This weekend was somewhat bittersweet. We spent some time getting baby gear. We kind of are amazed at you lucky moms that get to register and get nice things you pick out. Where we are from you get other moms rejects and you certanly don't get to pick out your own stuff. you are lucky to get anything afterall. But anyway it was bittersweet because it was triathlon weekend and I shed a few tears watching the bikes this morning after all the miles I had logged in the pool and how hard I worked. It SUCKED to be missing out on my last year in Tucson standing on the sidelines. Chet was very nice about the whole thing.

I was able to find a little camping bassinet at the thrift store and I think I am going to get the floor model PlayYard that they are closing out at ToysRus. Its odd doing this without a baby shower and completely on my own but I am ok about it. I get a little down when I realise that I poured so much energy into building friendships in my church only to get dumped like a rock by people I really cared about. Still a bit raw about it but I am getting over it.

Well gals this baby is a tattle tail. I am totally pregnant and look it through and through. I have no idea what I will wear tomorrow back in school and I still need to nail down research and a team for my CS class. I am not relishing going back. Its a bummer really because the semester has really blown. I haven't had this much sleep in the last 10 weeks but if I can hold on then I will make it.

I am gaining a bit of weight now. at first I thought I had jumped 5 pounds in two weeks but it was a freaky scale day. I am up 8 pounds since the start of my pregnancy so I am doing pretty good at eating and all.


OH and Corrina. Ofcourse not taking the IB but compared to my Cathe workouts it sure feels weird to be pregnant. I haven't been able to exercise with school. I drop in bed every night exhausted at 7:30 I admire those women that can exercise AND work fulltime while pregnant but I that sure is not me. I have to choose. The only way I can describe how I think it feels to be pregnant is the IBprophen thing. Its like every muscle in your body relaxes. It is really freaky!!

Cj5 - you never know what piece of information peoplle miss (what do you mean no alcohol?!) sometimes.. I didn't mean to make it sound like you don't know what you are doing or anything.. The fulltime and workout thing was me with Hope.. But I walked and did water aerobics. The house was a MESS though.. Wheeeeeeeeeeee! I don't get relaxed from advil.. Maybe you take the funky stuff?

Maybe I just need to chill all over? Yah mon.

I understand your regretting the triathlon.. Things like that kinda suck. I never did 100% great with the whole "I'm not in control of my body" thoughts.

Corinna

Hey CJ...

I admire you for speaking up and asserting yourself about your wants and your needs!...Hell its your body...your baby...your home!...I understand that friends and family get excited when their is a new baby...but...its better that you let them know how you feel now then resent them all later!

You go girl!

Stay healthy...mcmarto

I guess I can come accross a little harsh. It might be a little cold to those of you that are close to your family. I started plotting to move away from home from age 13 on. My parents and I did not get along and we have all mellowed over the years to where my mom and I now have a pleasant relationship. we have both accepted that I am not the daughter she wanted and she is not the mother I wanted. Its amazing how your relationship changes when you get older. My husband on the other hand has the traditional nagging mother and they are very close now that she dumped evil stepdad. It makes for some interesting compromises in our house. Chet thinks that if I had it my way this baby would have no family. Ofcourse he knows I rented a hotel every thanksgiving and Christmas to get away from my family and did not go home one year while I was in college. He is probably right but I am not close minded enough to take something that could be very meaningful to this child and throw it in the dumpster out of my own bad experience.



Well I have 8 weeks left for the semester until FREEDOM!!! I will know if my research is going to come through or not by the end of the month. Please cross your fingers for me guys. I already have 16 credits fall and if I don't get this research it will be 19. Otherwise I just go into the lab 2 times a week and get an easy A.

Also I am still trying to get ahold of summer professors to see if I can work something out that way and finishing my incompletes for last semester. Plus surviving more exams this week and next week.


Chet says the baby kicks all night. He will have his hand on my stomach while I sleep and he says that she just goes to town in there.


I bought the cutes play yard god ever put on this earth. It has jungle animals all over it and was the floor model so I got an awesome deal on it. The lady was so nice she even went and got one that had been returned and made sure I had every part that I needed including a mobile she took off of another play yard floor model. We are going to cram it in the hall for nappy changes and for a bassinet since the bedroom is just to hot to cool in July and august. Then come september the baby can just sleep in her crib during the day.

I still need to get a lot of stuff alot of it essentials but I am holding off. Hopefully I will be able to figure out what is an absolute necessity by then and I have a few friends that are done having kids that might be able to hand off some stuff to me. If any of you gals are finished having kids and want to throw some stuff my way it would be most appreciated and gratefully accepted.

Well gals I think I am going to be as big as a house. I am not 7 months yet and I am just piling it outfront everyday. I worry a bit about my back but being only 5'3" there isn't a lot of room for the baby to move upstairs so I think in two more weeks she will start building outward.

We went walking last night to settle down and I walked about a mile. Nothing glamorous but I didn't get to bed until 12:00 which made me fell horrible this morning.

all is well in our little part of the world. Job hunts continue. Senior seminars are happening. I need to check on making sure I have all my classes in order and degree checks are done and hopefully get these classes done without desimating my chances of grad school with my GPA like it is.

Hey C J,

Sounds like you are doing just great, everything is coming together.

I just want to say that some people heal quite quickly after c-sections so you may still not need those 'mom's around even if you have one. The trick is to get walking as soon after the section as they will allow. People used to have fits at me, with my walking and going up stairs and carrying things(or little people) but I did great.

Well, sorry I know I haven't been here for a while and there I am telling you stuff. Just kick me later if you like.

Keep taking good care of yourself. You are doing so well.

Stay healthy...get your sleep now...you know you will have no option soon enough!...mc

I think had a meltdown week. Partly because I got my midterms back and they were just horrid. For some reason I just am sucking this semester. A good portion of it is sleep exhaustion and ridiculously hard classes. I was depressed the whole week over it and Wednesday I just took the whole rest of the day off and went and read baby books at the park.

I have been reading about sleep strategies for infants. I am reading a really good book called " The no cry baby sleeping book" or something like that. It doesn't advocate teh "cry it out" method but is a more gentle approach. I wanted to get an idea of what I was in for before the baby got here.

As far as everything else. The baby is moving like crazy. Chet falls asleep with his hand on my stomach everynight and says she kicks like crazy while I am sleeping.

I attended a Biomedical engineering seminar and am positive this is what I want to go on and do research in for grad school. Ofcourse it is going to be tricky finding a grad school where Chet can get a job.

Today I am going to tour Ventana Medical systems with the BME club. It should give me an idea what kinds of jobs are available etc. People in this country sure pay for medical care and I think it one field that isn't going over seas anytime soon.

Other than that I have gotten most of the stuff for the baby that I can afford to get other than a little carrier to hold the baby while I type for school etc and get around. Also I need to get a Breast pump and diapers etc. I am hoping grandmas will help a bit while they are here.

I have decided that I should talk to them on the phone and feel them out for what they plan on doing while they are here. I want to have an idea on who is going to be wating on who while they are here.

Everyone have a great weekend. I am will be frantically studying for yet another test.

CJ, I certainly understand what you are saying about your mother. I am not the daughter that my mother wants me to be. But her reaction is to either try and push me to be that way or to "pretend" that I am. I am very lucky regarding mother-in-laws. My first MIL was (and still is) like a real mother to me. I try and pattern how I deal with my married children from her. Steve's mother didn't particularly like me but.... she was in New York so I didn't have to deal with her.

Hang in there and keep on keeping on. This time will pass. I think biomed engineering will be a good field. Hopefully it will pretty much stay in this country. Certainly the testing has to be here in order to get approval of new devices.

Jo

Good luck on your next exam!

Hope you can get more sleep!

mcmarto

Hope you can get more sleep!
I have read that new parents learn to covet sleep. They live for it because the little ones keep them up at night. I have been reading some different articles about babys and sleep. We will see if any of it makes sence at 1 am though...lol

My preggo life is going along. I have my glucose test this week but I am feeling good and the baby is a rockin and a rollin in there.

Having a bit of a hard time sleeping on my side. My bed is soo hard now that everything has loosened up so I get bruised on my hip when I wake up. This morning I woke at 3am and could not go back to sleep so I got up and did homework. Then in my first class the baby was moving so much I got sick to my stomach and had to come home and lay down.

I have decided that this pregnancy is here to teach me to let go of things. I can't expect to control life and I can't pick and choose every moment and how to feel. I want to be able to have a meaningful experience with this baby and although I am still working through some issues I have to learn to let go of things and let this be about the journey.

That is a lot of what motherhood is about. Our little babies are so demanding and it really is a selfless act of love. I read something today that gave me a pause though. I guess I realised that no one was forcing me to stay home but I did realise that someone else would be the one to get to hear my babies first words and see her walk for the first time.

Right now I am leaning towards a pretty moderate position. I think I am going to try graduate school and a baby. I may defer for a year or two and let this baby get potty trained etc and just go part time. Then go full time once she is three. I don't know. We hadn't planned for this financially at all so I will have to see what is going to happen.
Rght now we have to survive until graduation. There are just no jobs here and I don't even mean crap jobs.

I have thought a lot about it though and I have decided that I don't feel that I can move until I know if I am in a grad program or what my life is like as a mom. I got stuck here in Tucson because of my husbands career and I would be miserable if I moved somewhere else and the same thing happened to me all over again. We have to find a way to not repeat the past.

I was pretty mean this morning. I think it was a pregnant mean day. Chet was really nice and dropped me off and eve picked me up when I was sick. Sometimes I forget how much the two of us have grown up.... I think we have to let the past go sometimes.

Tough tough time. But remember, personal growth (and change for that matter) is always difficult. That is the reason so many people avoid it.

Having a baby is more than have a baby. It is a lifetime committment. There is constant change from the day you bring them home through their growing up years. Only when they are gone and adults on their own does the change slow down (a little). And then come the grands and the change revs up again, though not as direct in your life.

You are correct in looking at the immediate problems and goals. Get through that. You can keep aware of opportunities farther out, but the focus has to be now.

Babies are funny. Some of them sleep through the night very quickly and others take a long time. Some of them do great in a good day care and some of them are more fragile. And poor day care is no substitute for a mother, while good day care is quite expensive.

I was a stay at home mom until my kids started school. I can't see that they are any better (or worse) than the other kids of that era.

My DIL needed to work but refused any kind of day care, patching together family baby sitters (husband different shift, she worked graveyard, her teen age daughter, and her 75 year old father). I can honestly say it added to the messed up teenager (now a messed up adult) and almost ruined her marriage. And when my grandson started school he was way behind the other kids, especially social skills.

Kathy on the other hand as worked through three babies, not missing a beat. Two of the three had wonderful (top notch) infant day care. The second she had a struggle finding what she wanted until Lydia was two and was able to move her to the catholic school day care. The girls are all thriving, the ones in school are top students.

That said, I think staying home until babies are two years old is wonderful I you can manage it finacially. Or stay home six months and then go part time until age two.

Some people do not have that choice. And some mothers are not suited emotionally to be stay at home mothers. But when you look at working (especially with an infant) you have to compare the costs of good infant care compared with what you can earn working. I guess what I am trying to share is that there is a difference between "infant" care and child care.

In the mean time, one day at a time.

You will do fine, I have faith in you both. You will be wonderful parents. Lucky baby.

Jo

I am sure you will make the decisions you feel are best!

One of my friends is a nurse...after she had her baby she began working only 2 days on the weekend...basically because she wanted to be home with him all week!

My brother and sil are going through the same thing right now...she is off until the end of May...then he is taking a week off...then my mom is taking two weeks off...then he is relying on me from mid June until mid August...then what?...They will have to decide whether they get a permanent sitter...or she changes her schedule...she is a nurse too so she may be able to figure something out...be a temp and just go in when she wants...???

mcmarto

I have so little new stuff to write these days. My life is somewhat a blur of work and sleep. Lately more work than sleep. I had my Dr. write me a note to reduce my load so I could get out of one of these classes. I just need more sleep then I ever dreamed.

I found the exact baby thing I wanted finally at a thrift store. They don't make them anymore and I was sure that they never did. It is a cradle bassinet that rocks like a swing.
http://www.shoppingonlinenetwork.com/shop/shop-item_id-B000059XP3-search_type-AsinSearch-locale-us.html

Other than that I haven't done a lot of baby things. We are just trying to keep the lights on right now. Some days I really wonder how we are going to pull this off.


Job offers are slim here in Tucson and I just can't get done any faster so I have no idea how we are even going to pay the bills past June. But anyways.

As far as the working mom vs SAHM thing. I have read a lot of articles about it. I guess it is a hot button topic that everyone has an opinion on and the very mention of can have women eating eachother alive.

I myself feel pretty liberal about the whole thing. I have been raised around numerous SAHM. What I think I have found though is that the majority of women wish they could work a small part time job that paid well. I have even seen this in the working women world. The way corporations are set up especially with the global competition, a 40 hour work week is unheard of in technology so a lone the oportunity to work 20 hours in engineering. Most women I know would very much like to work split time but the jobs just aren't there. I know SAHM that have done mary kay and childcare to supllement the family income. Most jobs you can do part time are Walmart jobs that have little room for advancement and pay poorly.

The reality is that the global market works against women SAHM and working alike. Its near impossible to live on one income and stay above poverty these days and many jobs won't even cover Day care anyway. Plus many women find deep meaning in staying home and nurturing their children.

I find mysel ( as I always have) irritated that we live in a world that makes it very difficult to find a middle ground. I was raised in a rigid environment that does not have a middle ground and in many ways I have found many women leave careers mostly because there is no middle ground to stay on the job.

I personally think that infant day care is difficult and cold. I think you have to look very hard to find something that is acceptable and you really have to pay a lot of money for something that you would find acceptable.

I still have a meltdown thinking about all this because I had dinked around with my life while I was a mormon and I was just barely getting my head on straight. I had a career path I finally liked. I was working hard to get letters of recomendation and research to make that new goal a reality. Now when I have to be at my very best, I have found that as a new mom you are not at even 50% of your capacity. Your attention is divided and you have priorities you did not have before. Being pregnant is exhausting and I actually have to eat well and sleep something I neglected before.

Fall sememster really worries me. Not just because of the money isssue ( which is becoming huge and dark and luming before us) but also the school issue and research issue. I need these things to get out of here and go somewhere else. I need recomendations and resume work for my jobs hunt. But I will be doing all this with a new infant and I have no idea what I will do with the baby. I can't know until I find out what Chet can get for a job or postdoc. Things have really dried up on campus. I did let him know that I could go up to phoenix and finish but thats not much better.

People say that "school will always be there" unfortunately when you are 5 classes from graduating with two degrees that can get you a good job that is not the case if you are moving. I have thought about finishing these classes at another university but I am established here and have professors that may help me.

The economy needs to turn around REALLY REALLY Badly. This is the longest and worst I have seen it in computers. Since the dot com bust there is jut a lot of offshore stuff going on and companies are not expanding at all. Chets field is not much better. He has had two leads. One in CO and one in SF CA. But again we are stuck here until I finish.

Sorry guys but most days I really can't think of a worst time I could have gotten pregnant. I guess I could have been 20 and more imature than I am now but now with things in absolute limbo and us broke I am really concerned about what we will do. I also am worried about how we will get ourselves in a better situation if I can't get this stuff done or if I do badly in it.

BTW if you want to read a really nasty debate about being a SAHM just go to an exmormon board or a mormon board. We were raised with such fanatical ideas it is just a plain duke out. For example our leaders believe a woman should stay home her life pretty much. Most woman don't but its preached at the pulpit constantly. I have found outside the church it seems that most woman talk about the SAHM thing when they are talking about children under 5 years of age. Is that the case????? or is it the general opinion that SAHM is a lifetime career? For mo's it is supposed to be a lifetime career with many children or you are "allowed" to work if you are a single mom. the reality is that most mo's work anyway but at low paying jobs because they dropped out of school very young.

For me I sort of look at it as the under 5 thing. Past that I think it is good to not have latchkey kids etc but I am not as weirded out by after school programs. In anycase I read a whole article called "mommy wars" about the conflict woman face and the anger and anomosity between SAHM and working moms. I am still not sure why it is such a hot topic probably why my journal gets avoided a lot but for me its just about keeping the lights on and loving your kids the best you can.

Hey CJ...Why don't they make that rocker/bassinet thing anymore?...It was cute...My SIL got a bassinet...very cute...and you can lift it up out of its holder...the holder rocks but you have to do it manually...it is very cute...they have it at Target...this is where little OG currently sleeps...he has not even seen his crib yet!...Maybe soon...he will be 2 months in 2 weeks!

I don't know what I would do if I got prego...like most teachers I guess I would try to plan the baby for March or April so I can take the rest of the school year off (that is if a baby can even be planned........and of course using up all my sick days)...then...have 3-5 months with the baby before I have to go back to work...then what?...Who will I entrust my little one too?...Lots of teachers use sitters near the school (like across the street)...some of them go visit the little ones during their breaks (even pumping while at school)...but I don't think all principals are as understanding as ours......so...its a wait and see!

mcmarto

Hey CJ, it's me, Nanna P. Can I switch into Queen of Unsolicited Advice mode? While I agree that college can't necessarily be put on hold forever, maybe you could just go with Chet for a year or two and then come back with the baby, rent a small flat and finish up? You've only got 1-2 semesters to go, right? Or maybe you can work something out with a different U, where you take the classes there but still get your degree from UofA.

I know this is a tough time, but the best laid plans... Just do what you can, now, and don't fret too much about the future. It will come in whatever form it will.

(big hugs)

And now I will shut up.

timely topics, these you're bringing up.

1. I'm two credits away from a degree I left behind in the *eighties.* I am now returning to "pick up" those last credits and get on with my life. It can be done, I'm doing it. GRANTED, my menial and pathetic AA degree is nothing like the double degrees you're working towards, but the overall lesson is, time has away of ironing out the wrinkles you're worrying about. NOT that they're invalid worries--on the contrary, I really feel for you, going through a tough phase with compound additional difficulties. I'll be sending vibes of strength.
2. SAHM....I'm sure I've voiced this before, I'll voice it again. Once you've squeezed out your wee bubbins, your world may alter, unrecognizably. I *knew* we couldn't afford me staying home, I *knew* I'd be going back to work full time, I *knew* my child would be okay in someone else's care. That said, as soon as I squeezed out my miracle, my world shifted, and it was like, wow...this thing is *so* *cool*!!!-- and I made her from scratch!!--and I didn't want to leave her, period. But seven weeks later, I had to, for a job I really didn't even like too much. Fortunately--can I say that? Shawn's dad died fo alcohol abuse, we got a chunk of change, our dog died, I fell down the stairs, and I had a sudden opportunity. Some call it early midlife crisis, I called it becomina a SAHM. NOW? I don't ever want to leave my wee bubbins. I do, at the nursery, with other sitters, and will, when she goes to school. But I have a plan for the later contingency, which is becoming a teacher so I can be home for her after school and in the summers. The long and the short of that happy, meandering story, is that you'll *feel* what you need to do. Even if it means working at Walmart so hubster can watch bubbins while you work, or moving to SanFran where hubster will make a million dollars and you'll learn to love a life of luxury, or if you temporarily separate and become a single parent to complete your degree...The answers will sort of happen.
3. On sleep: I was a twelve hours a night kind of girl. If I got at or around eight, I was sorta' cranky. I hearted my sleep. I still do quite like it, but it's like this weird, internal motivation thing kicked in. Kinda' like when you're on mile 47 and you just want to dismount and kick the bike to the curb and hitchhike a ride home; and then you see, beyond a slight hill, your house. BANG, it kicks in, you pedal harder, you get there. When you had no energy before. With new-mommying, in my experience (and a couple of my friends) you hear wee squidgey one wail, and your cells stand at attention and you're THERE. In spite of having 1.5 hours of sleep, in spite of every fiber in your body arguing the merits of staying on that bed, head on that pillow. You become the wee one's utter love slave; if you have discipline, you learn to take a catnap when your wee one catnaps, or you learn that you don't need all your braincells awake to function reasonably well. And you look down at bunnikins and you go, Oh...My...God.... You are SO cool...and I made you from scratch!--and it's like seeing your house over the horizon, your second wind kicks in.

You have an awful lot on your plate right now, CJ. (You don't have to digest it all in one go!!--j/k) I can feel for what you're going through, to a degree. I like to plan, to know what I'm up against, to analyze the situation and what it entails. Some things, though, don't go according to plan, however well laid the plans are. And then life becomes this annoying, but fun, rollercoastery snowboard ride, you just try like hell to stay upright, and eventually get down the mountain.


Hang in there, toots! You're doing it! You'll be a rock star mommy!!

Nanna
I find out today how many credits I have left. It is between 15-18 to finish both degrees I may try to finish all but 15 over the summer before my due date. Basically we will probably work at gas stations if we have to so that I can finish. Engineering changes to fast to come back and complete things later. Because of our student loans we would probably be at poverty level with chets job. I basically need to get a job. It is just a matter of how long we can hold out and what jobs we can get. My income is really the determiner. I can earn what chet can and then some.


Gosh you ladies trust my husband more than I do. Don't get me wrong. He is a fine man but I am not a trusting person. I take care of myself and make sure I have a marketable income. I make sure my name is on everything and I make sure that I have equal power. Thats a big problem I have with the SAHM thing. I think it is difficult in some relationships to get treated fairly. My relationship is pretty darn equalitarian because we have made it that way.

Jes. I know a baby changes everything. I have seen it my whole life. Women completely change before my eyes. That is what I am fighting against. I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE :protest: I probably should have stayed in counseling but I just don't have five minutes to pee so alone 2 hours to drive accross town to talk to a counselor who herself was not a mother. It was like to female femenist trying to figure out what the hell you do with a child. I have thought about going back but I just am not sure how useful it would be.

"That is what I am fighting against. I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE."

Unfortunately, the only constant thing on this planet is change. It doesn't have to be a bad thing, often that changing reaps great growth

also, don't discredit the whole "Chet as SAHM(D)" idea. There're two men in Ab's tumbletots class who are their childrens' primary daytime caregivers.They're great at it. AS well, a girlfriend of mine who's just become a dentist is the worker bee while her husband is full time daddy.

You make the rules up as you go, CJ.

good luck through these hard times. :)

I hear you about depending on your spouse. I was a single parent, off and on, for over 10 years, and during the years I was married to my first husband, lots of times it would have been easier being a single parent. At some point, though, I just decided to trust this husband. This morning I examined my day and determined that I haven't had to put in 8-5, M-F since the little boy was born, almost five years ago. It's been nice for me, but real hard on the old financial statements. I need to start carrying my share of the load in the dollar-earning department.

But enough about me; what do you think about me? :)

unsolicitedadvicemode// Be gentle with yourself. It'll all work out. //unsolicitedadvicemode

CJ, tough tough tough. I know it is hard for both of you. But you will figure it out. Someway, some how. I agree it is all about loving your kids and doing the best you can.

And I understand fully what you said about not being depenent on Chet. Steve and I will be married 30 years this summer, but after my experience with Kenny I will never, never be dependent on a man again. That is certainly part of my drive to continue a part time job after we both retired.

I have faith in both of you. ((((hugs))))

Jo

Hey CJ!

I just visited my little nephew yesterday...he has to be close to 9 pounds now...2 pounds in his cheeks alone!...My SIL had gotten a rash a little over 2 weeks ago...she was blaming it on a lotion she had used (even though she had used this lotion before)...she goes to the Dr....he gives her some meds and lotions to use...she gets totally swollen...she is in pain...she can barely walk or use her hands..........finally her mom pays for her to see a dermatologist...ends up she had been suffering from post-preeclampsia...her Dr. should have sent her to the hospital!!!...She could have died!...She is finally doing much better.......but that was scary!

Hope you are taking care of yourself and getting enough sleep!

mc

I got out my Dr. Phil "Life Strategies" book because I have realized how much I am in denial that my life is changing and there not a thing one I can do about it. I know that no matter how hard I want to say that life won't be different after this baby that it is an illusion. All the baby books in the world are not going to teach me how to get this little bundle of joy to sleep more than a few hours and to not upset the apple cart.

I guess this is the part of life I have always dreaded. I am not a fan of change (who is??) I have thought a lot about the steps I took when I first go pregnant. I was well aware that.... like it or not I was going through labor one way or another. Now I have realized that I need to come to terms with what happens when I come home to from the hospital. I actually drove by the maternity ward the other day and just thought "When I walk out that door life is going to change!!!"

I told Chet "we can say whatever we want but the minute they hand us that little baby we are going to fall in love and forever that is going to be where our priority is" Chet has been working on the jeep a lot this week. This is a sign that he is going through his own little transition. The furniture is picked out. The classes are taken. The baby stuff is decided on. Now we are just waiting for the plunge.

I have read every recommended mommy book on the market and from that I have come to realize that babies are just a huge investment. They set the agenda and the best you can do is to hold on for the ride.

I guess this is a bittersweet time for me. I have treasured my independence and It is a very conflicting feeling to know that soon I will be someone's mommy. I have never really been someone’s wife, infact I have never really belonged to anyone before. I have gaurded my independence fiercely at times.

I admit I wasn't ready for this. I would probably have never been ready to give a piece of my heart away like this.

I have decided that I need to pull myself out of denial. I need to rearrange my schedule for this little bundle and I need to do it now. I need to accept that I will be breastfeeding or pumping for a good amount of my time and I need to get clear about what I can feasibly do before exhaustion kicks in. I need to cut back and step out of things and make some choices. Mostly I need to get some idea if I will drag school out for two semesters or one so that I can decide what to tell Chet when he looks for a postdoc or job.


BTW a note to Nanna: Don't be hard on yourself about carrying "your share of the load" I live my husband’s life and my life at the same time. As a career oriented woman I carry his load AND my load. I stress about promotions, jobs and grad offers. AND I spend my time worrying about breastfeeding and if I am taking my prenatal vitamins. You guys are a team and I believe knowing you the way that I do that you bust your butt to carry more than enough of the load. For us woman raising a family is a heroic effort. You and I have lived enough of our lives feeling guilty how bout we agree to cut ourselves some slack???

BTW I forgot to mention about Chet being a SAHD . Jess I am all for that too but the reality is that Chet and I make about the same income. Together we could get out of debt and probably actually start a retirement account. Separately if only one of us work we can tread water. Grad school for me is not a bad idea if I can get someone to pay for it because it would at the very least bring in a small income and defer all my loans so we could whittle away at chets.

Mostly I think being a woman these days is far harder than being a man. We live our lives in both worlds and we feel torn in a thousand directions. Add to that a good old dose of guilt ( which we are all famous for) and it is a wonder we get done all that we do.

The reality is that life changes and I need to change with it.

Good for you CJ...

I had a friend once tell me that she barely remembered her life before she had her daughter....it was as if her life did not begin until that day...wow...heavy stuff!

I think this is why my DH is afraid to take the plunge...I would still like to wait another year or two...but he is very afraid!

Good Luck!

mcmarto

CJ, you so rock. What an upper of a message. This is how I have pictured you...fully grounded in reality. And when you look at things objectively, you deal with them. You are the most prepared mommy I have ever known.

Here is a tip: decisions are not often cast in stone. If you change your mind...you can change your mind. If Chet could just come up with a little one year post-doc locally, you could slow down a bit and finish next spring. I know staying put for a post-doc isn't easy, but maybe there will be something unexpected come up. The summer Mark was born, DH didn't have a post-doc lined up and the department didn't need him to teach again. Then, another prof's wife got cancer, so he retired and moved away. DH got another one-year appointment as a VAP to fill his spot while they did a search. This happened in AUGUST.

Think positive. Serendipity is your friend. So am I, but Serendipity is more useful :)

Nanna
A post doc was what we were hoping for. Preferrably one that would somehow work with Chet so he could watch the baby in class.

Guys I wish I could say I feel positive. I cried the whole weekend over this and I am ashamed to say that it wasn't pregnancy hormones. I am trying my guts out here to adjust but I just don't know. Today I think I hit an all time low. I am really trying to come to terms with all this but its a big thing to take on and I just don't know how I can do it.

Take care and I will try to check in later this week.

yup. It's a scary, huge, fear filled time for you; so many unknowns. The only thing you can control right now is your outlook. You may still have fears, but you can look at them as, "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it." I keep worrying about Ab becoming a teen, what kind of hoochie- momma clothing will be around at that point? Will she be secure enough in her self to know she doesn't *have* to sleep with a cool guy to be cool? Not exactly the fears, worries, and issues you're looking at, but the illustration goes to show, you can't borrow tomorrow's troubles. You really do have to go one day at a time.

And one last point: Mommyhood really is easier than you can imagine. The paradox is, you can worry about all kinds of things (sleep, potty training, colic) that go smoothly, and then something totally different will blindsight you. And then the next week will bring about the coolest new stuff, ever.


One of the midwives I saw whom I really liked gave me this "gem"--"pregnancy and childbirth are there to prepare you for the fact that you really have no control." It's a scary, crazy ride, but truly, It'll All Be Okay. :)

You don't have to have hope, of course. As someone who has been out of work for over six months, and is now doing a temp stint in a child care center (and am not QUALIFIED for a job there), I know about losing hope. So, I will have hope for you. And you can have hope for me. And maybe we will catch hope for ourselves, by hoping for each other.

I know you will be OK in the end CJ...this is just another one of life's journeys!

Hope you get some sleep!

mcmarto

"You can't borrow tomorrows troubles" Wow, I should have that tattooed to my forehead. I sure try and do that with some things. Yes, big strong mature Mother Jo. I spend way too much energy worrying about things over which I have no control.

Which makes me remember something I did a paper on in a class I took a few years ago. It was about circles in your life, the circle of concern and the circle of influence. And he talked about how staying within your circle of influece and that negative energy (spent on things outside your control) will reduce what you are able to do. Within your influence there are those problems where you have direct control and others where you have indirect control.

Anyway, you get the idea. I think. Hang in there. Things have a way of working out.

Jo

Hope everything is going well...I spent last evening with my little nephew...oh...he is just so cute!...You will not be able to stop saying that soon enough!

mc

Sorry just another bleak log.
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Well it is Saturday again. I hvae four weeks left to finish this semester and I admit not only am I beat but I am frusterated at the quality of my performance. This is the reality of taking a major in engineering. In any other major I would have a 4.0 but frankly I got into this quagmire and I am just slogging through to get out of it so that I can go on and do something else.

I admit a lot of the reason I am down is I wonder if I will get into a graduate program in anything else after I survive this undergraduate degree. Sad but true!!!

I started research in a lab with great phd professor. I am basically studying cell potentials in what is known as water channels inside cells. I am hoping if I get more biology experience I can get into a biomedical engineering program even with a ****ty GPA. I have worked hard this semester but I have not worked smart. There are things I could have done to up my grade that exhaustion and just time constraints made near impossible.

At this point I just want to finish these stupid ECE classes so I can go on and take something I can do well in. :protest: I can't tell you the number of people that have bailed out of engineering and consider it the best decision they ever made. Why oh Why I was such a stubborn idiot I will never know.

My plan at this point is to slog through this somehow even if it is with C's and then spend a semester stabalizing my GPA and get into a graduate program of any kind. I may have to rebuild my GPA there but then I can go on and do something else I find more worthwhile. Even if I have to get a masters degree at bobs bargain barn it would help me move on to a better PHD program out of electrical engineering.
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Well atleast something good came out of my meltdown last weekend. It scared my husband to death and got him to wake up and realise that he is seriously going to have to haul more than his fair share to get me through these last classes. He went to his boss and talked about postdoc prospects and please someone pray to any god of your choice that he can get one where we can pay the bills and he can help watch the baby while I am in class.

We don't have the money for day care and I have to get these classes done.

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On the baby front I have nothing to report. On the exercise front I have nothing to report. I miss exercising . I miss it a lot. I miss my bike WHAAAAA!

Glad to hear from you CJ...hope you can keep plugging along!...Stay healthy!

mcmarto

Good thing that Chet is on board. "Fair share" is a misnomer. Sometimes I do 90% and DH does 10%. Other times, he does 90% and I do 10%. It will all work out. I hope you're feeling OK. I miss you.

Hello CJ,

Remember me/ its been long. dont wory you wll succeed. I had all 3 of my kids young and without much money and no extra education other than high school and i thought there were days i couldnt make it through and now i have a girl whose almost 15 a 12 yr old and a 10 yr old and im still keeping on.. and so will you, you are stronger than you know and God doesnt give us a cross to heavy to carry though it may seem it now.

take care,

Hope you and the baby are doing well...oh...Daddy to be too!

mcmarto

Hey everyone :wave:

I just realised it has been an incredibly long time since I have posted. I enjoyed my visit with Lisrey soo much it was incredibly fun even though I was pretty tired from workign on a dumb project the night before.

I am doing so much better with the baby thing. It has been an incredible journey to come to the realisation that I am forming this little human inside of me. The last month has been especially fun as the baby has been kicking and moving around. I have also recaliprated my life to the new path Chet and I will be taking as parents.

When I first got pregnant I mostly was just overwhelmed. Since that time I have worked through a lot of things and made a lot of good choices about my practitioner and birthing classes. Chet and I are getting excited for Baby Day and we have some close friends that just had kids so it will be fun to hang out with other couples that are doing the same thing.

Words can't express the appreciation I have for those of you that have sent things for this baby and those of you that have pm'ed me offering to help. Our job ends two weeks after baby day so I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

Lisrey showed up at my house laden with gifts from my sweet friends here at DT and I LOVE LOVED everything. She took pictures and I think we will post them soon. I just about started crying ( hey I am pregnant) but I knew I wouldn't stop and then Lisrey would have to deal with that the whole day. I was just overwhelmed. Sandy and Jessica I also wanted to thank you for making some homemade wonderful clothes and and a blanket because when I found out I was pregnant I so wanted this baby to have some special things made just for her/him. I haven't had a second to get out the sewing machine so those little clothes and the quilt just cheared me to no end. Jo your little card was about the sweetest darn things I have ever read and was being a mom to a T. I have put it on the fridge and I read it everyday. Lisrey thank you for coming and bringing some joy into my student life.

I will write a bit more about things this weekend but I wanted to let you gals know I am thinking about you and I love you guys to pieces.
CJ

Friend, I am so glad to hear from you and that you're in a good frame of mind. I'm glad the visit with your DT buddy went well. When you get a minute, if you don't mind, PM me from the Foyer with your e-mail address.

Many happy thoughts coming your way.

Hey CJ...glad to hear from you and to see you are doing well!

How is school coming along?...I am down to the end...I have to present my action research in less then two weeks...and...then edit and bind my final copy of my paper by June...I finally graduate the first weekend in June...I swear...I will never do this again...too much work...!!!

Stay healthy!

mcmarto

Hey CJ...glad to hear from you and to see you are doing well!

How is school coming along?...I am down to the end...I have to present my action research in less then two weeks...and...then edit and bind my final copy of my paper by June...I finally graduate the first weekend in June...I swear...I will never do this again...too much work...!!!

Stay healthy!

mcmarto


My school is ok except for that in my opinion all electrical and computer engineers fall into the A$@%$% category. This is my last semester with a team project and it has been a total nightmare. I spend half my time at the medical school doing physiology research and working with wonderful people many of who I consider friends. The other half of my time I spend with backstabbing buggers that are pure evil. There isn't a day that goes by where I wonder how these people will find someone to marry them to put up with their crap. Ofcourse 95% of them are men though in EE some of the women are just as bad. This major was a poor fit and I am grateful that by accident I shifted over into physiology and biomedical research.

I have a project that is on the verge of blowing up and it is largely due to the fact that I have two real winners for team mates that I am worried are going to back stab me and destroy my grade by 5pm on friday. they haven't contacted me all week and they have ran all over me with this thing. I have had some great projects in the past and some bad ones but this one truly takes the cake. I have never felt so under attack as I have with this experience. Believe me if it blows up there will be a big long rant in my journal tomorrow over it.

This is largely why I am so quiet these days. I am trying to get enough sleep and not worry about people and things I have no control over. I am so grateful I am doing research in physiology and biomedical as I would be leaving college with alot of regret and no friends.

Did I mention I hate electrical engineers???? Sorry to you ladies if you are married to one I am sure they are the exception if you guys aint divorced yet.

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I am also having a bit of a hard time on the baby front. Chet left for Georgia Tech on Monday and won't be home until friday. I am very worried about my pregnancy because I caught a Urinary tract infection three weeks ago and they keep putting me on heavier and heavier doses of antibiotics. My midwife is concerned about preterm labor. These antibiotics are completely wearing me out and making me naseus. Plus she is VERY concerned that I lost a pound when I should be gaining and I am not eating well. So far I have only gained 7 pounds my whole pregnancy and it hit 100 degrees today so I am really having to work to stay hydrated even without a UTI.

The whole thing has scared me and I am just trying to get through finals with this baby healthy. The smell of food is making me sick and on top of that I have to take these pills 4 times a day with something really fatty..GROSSERIEA

I could sure use a shot in the arm right now. This project and with chet gone I just feel so alone and under attack.
I can't wait until friday.

Now for some fun baby news.

I had two friends have babies this week and I ran into a third couple that I know from my birth class.

My close friend who is very pregnant went in for a schedualed C-section on Friday and I think she is doing really well. I went over on friday and again on Sunday. She is home with her new baby boy Turner and the moms are all over there. Unfortunately both her mom and MIL came at once ( her request actually) and basically they are both useless so I wonder if she is going to tie the toddler to the bed so she can take care of the new baby. Did I mention that while her husband is our very close friend and we love them like family that I would bust him in the head if he were my husband???? Chet tried to pull him aside and suggest that he be more involved but needless to say it fell on deaf ears. I just shrug my shoulders because they think we are carrot juice drinking whackos so I guess that is just the nature of being friends. I hope we will get along as parents.

This other couple is from our birth class and Chet wants me to make friends with the wife really bad because the husband mountain bikes and is just an awesome guy. well thats totally fine because his wife is really nice to. Ofcourse did Chet think to ask the guys name???? No !!! ( men are so weird) so I had to track down his name from our Bradely instructor. I gave them a call on friday and They just had a baby boy doing a home birth. We are way excited to go see them and see the baby. Did I mention that his wife loves to bike as well? It would be so fun to have friends with a new baby that like to do the same stuff as we do.


I ran into the third couple at my Dr. appt today. They are from our Bradley class as well and were the first ones to have their baby. I am not sure if we would get along super well but we are going to have a potluck and invite our Bradley class over and let everyone get to know eachother. They also have a cutie putoootie little baby boy that is 6 weeks old. They had an awesome birth and I think they are super sweet. I was happy to see them by chance because I always wanted to hear about their birth which was such an amazing experience.

We go back to birth class on the 16th and we will meet a whole new group of people. Hopefully we will get to be friends with some of them even though we are coming in half way through the class. I missed finishing with the other couples but I am going to do some kind of potluck after finals.

I got a package in the mail today from a cousin for the baby I am toying with whether to open it or wait for chet???? We will see if I can hold out a few more days. 8-|

The store did call and say that the little mini crib that we ordered got in. I hope I still have money to pay for it. The air conditioning bill is going to be through the roof. We ordered this little inexpensive crib Jan 20th. Can you believe it???? Grandma is making a little crib set for it since it is the size of a PortaCrib and will fit in our room. she is doing it in Noahs ark animals.

This is a good thing as Chet wants to stain the little dresser he is making to match it and who knows how all this is going to get done by BABY day.

Please cross all your fingers for us and what have you that this baby will be healthy and that I won't go into labor early.. I am tryint to take care of myself and this baby but I feel really overwhelmed.

Its bedtime and the baby needs sleep so night night.

I haven't checked in with you for a while and that little bottle has really moved itself along!

Did you say somewhere that you knew your baby is a girl?? Or did I imagine it. If so, she will be quite a novelty with all your new friends having boys.

I should have your snailmail address somewhere as I sent you the SB book way back. But I lost it, could you pm it to me again/ I'd like to send at least a card as you await your new arrival.

did you finish your course load for this term. You seem much less stressed. It is so great that Chet is able to make stuff for the baby's room. It will mean so much when you have something to remind you of the love that went into it when you were struggling students.

Pat

Oh, CJ, I didn't know you were feeling sick in that way when I was there. And staying up all night to work on your killer project! Ewwww!!! Hold on and take care of yourself while Chet is away; I know he is thinking about you and is with you in spirit. You both are such sweet and caring people. I had a wonderful time with you on Saturday & really appreciate that you took time out of your busy life to visit with me. Thanks again!!

Hey everybody, CJ looks great! :D

Sounds like you have some fun plans in place with that potluck and all of your friends. Take care of yourself & baby, and enjoy!

Lisrey :flower:

Sometimes I just don't think that people know who they are dealing with when they take me on. I went to present that stupid project today and these two guys actually dared put my name in smaller writing then theres. They also didn't return my calls all week. My grader is a big time buddy of one of them and I have tried to discuss things with him three times this week. It was no big deal so after class I went to the professor and explained the situation and told him that I felt it would be highly unethical on his part if at this point in the project ( after it was handed in) that I got sandbagged by these two imature punks. I explained the grader problem and made it clear that I would expect the same score that they got.

I can do this with a smile and leave no doubt that the **** will hit the fan. Its not a gift it is having to deal with this stuff way to many times. Anyway I think I got it straightened out but I will keep you guys posted.

I am just bushed. These antibiotics have nocked me right out.

So for you mommies out there. Did any of you have a really hard time getting food down? I had a great second trimester but since this UTI I can't get only a few bites of food down and I am losing weight. Today I managed a little better but no matter what I drink there is just a tiny bit of pee coming out and I am getting nervous about preterm labor. I am asking every woman I know ( people in the grocery store) what they think I should do. I am drinking tons of water and I started protein shakes. Other than that I am allergic to milk I hope I can get this UTI to clear up.

I think today is going better. I have an exam at 11am and honestly compared to that project regardless of what I got it would be 1/10th the stress. Chet gets home at 2pm from the airport so I will pick him up. I think he will go pick up the crib and put it together so we can see what kind of room we need and what the stain will be for the furniture. I have a friend who copied her notes for me and so I will go over to house at 4pm and pick them up.

Mostly I will just study for the next two weeks and it is just a huge relief to not have to program anymore. I am so happy that I will never sit in these classes ever again( at least I hope my grades haven't slid that far!!! lol) there is one that I have decided I will not retake no matter what. I will just choose another clas if I can't pass it.

I look back on this last school year as absolute pure survival. With all that happened between losing my dad and thinking I was crazy and then just finding out I am pregnant I am relieved to be finishing up and gettting a "break"

These antibiotics are fruity. One day I am having all this discomfort and then a few hours it goes away only to come back. I have been taking them every 8 hours. I even wake up in the middle of the night to take them. Hopefully they will kick in. I had a few tightenings in my stomach the first night and I was worried I might be having preterm labor so I laid down and really tried to relax. These next few weeks we are are going back to birth classes and to my relaxation classes. I think I am going to go back and start swimming easy style for the next few weeks to focus on unwinding and getting things more calm.

I am the only person I know who came out of both pregnancies lighter than I went in.(28 &30 years ago). I was a student too with the first one. I used to have to bus it to class and would be violently ill from smell of smoke on people's clothing, aftershave etc.
There is one cheap brand of aftershave that if I happen to catch a wiff of even now I have flashback nausia! My doctor at the time told me that he was concerned, because he said the baby gets advantage of anything good that you get first. I was nausiated and exhausted for the whole nine months each time. But my son was nine pounds, my daughter eight pounds 5 ounces, so I guess the doctor was right.
I was also an emotional mess for the whole time, going to university at night, teaching huge classes of grade one all day. I remember being on the bus nausiated and crying like crazy. For what reason I had no idea. It still raises the hair on the back of my neck when I hear people say that they never felt better in their life than when they were pregnant.
But the funny thing was, you know how many people really crash immediately after? I felt like a million dollars. Immediately felt healthy and back to my own self emotionally.
so we are all different.

After that I finished my undergrad degree and two post grad degrees, so life does get back on track.

BTW.. my nephew graduated this month with a degree in Electrical Engineering and he's really a social kid. :D :D . Of course he has an older sister who is gifted in math who kept him in line.

You must be so happy that it is Friday and work with el jerkos is finished. You handled that situation really well.And you are going into a facinating line of research. So as soon as you can, put your feet up and before you know it little one will be here and life will be back on track.

Hey CJ...so glad to hear from you!

I wish I could give you some advice on staying hydrated and eating...but...I have never been prego so I have no idea...my sil's both ate...except for a few things they could just not stand!

I am glad you got through that presentation...hope you do well on those tests!...I continue to procrastinate on getting my presentation together...I need to plan it all out and begin practicing...hoping it comes to as close to 20 mins as possible!...

I can't wait until its over...hope you feel better!

mcmarto

I am setting up a little webpage of baby & pregnancy news and also getting birthing announcements ready. If anyone wants to have a peak or wants a mailed announcement please email me either your email addy or your snail mail address so I can send out the announcement on the big day. We are down to the last 8 weeks so let me know so I can get you on the list. When the baby is here it will be up to the husband to mail them ( and fire off the emails ) so don't count on him to figure this stuff out on his own. He's good but come on!!! He's still a guy!!! I have some of your email addys and such but if you can just fire it off to me again I would appreciate it so that I have everything in one place. Let me know who you are when you send me the email ( your screen name I mean)

babypiggietoes@msn.com

Also I set up a cute little baby page I wanted to thank you sweethearts for taking such good care of this pregnant lady. I have posted some pics and I will be adding more the next few weeks. I wanted to do it ultra fancy but More importantly I didn't want to wait for this kid to graduate from high school for this to get up on the web.

http://www.happygreetings.net/sites/BabyPotato/

Hi Cj,

Wow time is moving along isn't it? Wanted to wish you a Soon To Be Happy Mother's Day!! :) :) Yep we are all waiting for the little one to say hey!! Hope you are doing ok and had a super day today!!

Love and hugs,
Lizzie :rose:

Nice site CJ...can't wait to see the baby pic's and the little one growing up!!!

mcmarto

I love the website you've set up! And I love the pix u posted .. u looked great and so happy!

Thanks you guys :hug:

So much has changed over the last 8 months. I have really grown into being a mom. These last few weeks until the big day are just awesome. We are getting everything ready and I am really very calm and happy about how things are working out. I think I am kicking this UTI. It has meant waking up in the middle of the night to take medication and I have had to be super strict with myself but I am finally feeling better. I admit it hasn't done wonders to be this exhausted and sick through finals but I will make it through one way or another. Mostly I am just happy that my bladder isn't hurting and that I haven't had any more contractions.

I have worked things out with the moms and I think they will be very helpful when they get here. I have dropped some big hints about what my friend has gone through with her mothers and how they have been no help at all.

We visited a friend who's husband is a DO. About an hour in he ask about our doctor and what we were doing so that led to a whole midwife discussion. I guess that most of the OBGYNS are having this horrible litigation crisis and their malpractice insurance is like 250,000 a year. That is why so many of them take more patients then they can ever deliver and you never get to meet your doctor. They just can't stay in business. He was super suportive of my choices and I admit a bit baffled that someone would put so much thought into having a medical birth while trying to have an intimate experience with a provider that they knew.

Chet is really happy to be home. He has been the water police and made sure I am eating little meals regularly so with any luck I will start gaining weight and feeling some energy. Ironically I finish these antibiotics the day that finals gets out. So I am pretty much going to be dead tired for the rest of this week. I am working out a schedual of what I will do until the baby is here so I can keep things calm and not take on too much.

The crib is so awesome I can't believe how tickled I am over the silly thing. We waited quite a while for it and I hadn't seen the color so we were worried we wouldn't want to stain everything that color but we love it so I am getting jazzed about this furniture. Chet spent the weekend at the woodshop so I think we will finish the furniture this weekend and then he will stain it the next weekend and my bedroom will be full of baby stuff. The crib is set up next to the bed so that chet can just reach in and get the baby in the night. I am hoping that this baby likes to nurse in bed because I am not even planning on turning on the light. Who knows every baby is different.

I have read a few books on getting babies to sleep well ( again who knows) and I want to read a book on breastfeeding before the big day. Other than that we are just plugging to baby day and I am having an even harder time focusing on school because I want to focus more on this baby stuff.

I still have a lot to work through with those incompletes so I need to do a bit of planning this week to get through everything. Mostly I need to just make sure that I am getting enough rest and food and water. The baby isn't moving all that much like it was when I was having stress last week but I think it is just because she wasn't used to mommy being strung out like that. I have felt little kicks but maybe she is just resting up for the big day.

Good to get an update...glad you are doing well...

I would be excited about the crib too...it looks so cute!...

mc

Tomorrow is my last day of finals and then I will work on finishing up my incompletes from fall when I found I was pregnant and was sicker than a dog.
I have schedualed the exams for next week so eventually I will have all this behind me for the school year.

We are going to do the elections this year so next weekend I will hand out ballots and do the all day thing. Its a very easy way to earn a little bit of money if you have the time and well we thought every little diaper dollar counts since we are still not sure what will happen with the job in the next few weeks.

Chet is starting to freak out about the job issue. I am still hoping that we will get the postdoc but I don't know when his professor will find out if he has the funding. Chet is trying to track down other options and I am trying to scrounge up enough money to pay for summer tuition so I Can finish these classes before the baby. We are Credit carded out and the works so who knows.

The baby is doing well and thank heavens tomorrow is the last day of antibiotics for this UTI. I am so sick and exhausted from these things I just can't wait. Baby day is just flying at us so quickly and I just can't believe how busy I am with school. this has just been a bit of a shock.

I have a friend that has gotten into triathlons. I am going to let her ride my mtn bike for the one on memorial day and I told her to come and try out my road bike. Hopefully she will get addicted to it so she can save up for a road bike and then we can go biking together after the baby.

I plan on just walking for the first 6-8 weeks and then I will start gradually working out more. For now I we are just trying to keep the lights on and getting ready for our big day that is fast approaching.

I am eating a lot better now that I am not out walking in the heat to and from class. Also it is much easier to be home with the food close by since the cafeteria food just knocks you out from the smell.

Mostly I am just sleeping and waddling around campus.

Take care everyone. Not a whole lot is happening in my pregnant life.

I just went back to the photo album. I don't know if you had the captions in before or I just missed them. I'm just blown away by the talents friends from here have. You and Lisrey look fantastic!! I had to chuckle at her gifts. I always give books for shower gifts. My work is training teachers to work with children with reading difficulties, so I give everyone Dr. Suess books. I want to make sure that those language structures are planted in there early. And Lisrey is a librarian so I see that she gave you the all time baby favorites.

The quilt is beautiful, Jess has a winning idea with those baskets. And Sandie's knitting is beautiful. I like to knit for relaxation, but i don't have an even tension and everything is lumpy.

You will be so much better off after these classes are over. It is always such a relief to get a study year behind you, but for you this one will be really great to finish.Hang in there.

Pat

:o saw my name, had to have another peek at the site....thanks for the kind words and props !!--and thanks for the sweet card :)


Sounds like things are falling together, and you have good sensible plans laid out. I nursed in the dark AND consistently fell asleep, it all worked out FINE; THe first couple of times (or weeks, in my case) you kinda' have to look at where bb's head's going--truly,I didn't find it as "intuitive" as the books said--but you'll be FINE, I know you will. (and you won't be "graded" on any of it, labor, birth, breastfeeding, ...and all the rest.) (personally I find it to be a liberating balancer, looking at Ab forces me to realize I can't plan life away...some days I have to stop and just go with the floww...and then stress the details.)(AAAk.)

happy days.

Thanks for emailing me pat and looking at my little site. I wanted to put those buetiful pictures up of my awesome DT friends because it just didn't seem right to keep that artistry all to myself. My mom really wanted to see what everyone had sent so I thought it would be fun to post them.

I had elaborate plans of making a bueatiful designed website but I think this is the case of the plumbers pipes always being the ones that leak. With school It would be pretty darn impossible for me to take a few days and put together an elaborate site and I wanted to get things up as soon as possible.

Jes TG no one will be grading me with this baby. It makes me feel so much better that I can do things my way with this one.

I admit that is a frusteration of having the mothers come out. Personally I would rather just struggle through it myself and get this baby and me calibrated as mom, dad and baby. I wasn't going to have the mom come out for two weeks but then she wants to stay for two weeks and my MIL wants to come out for 2 weeks. Right after that is when school starts so I wonder if I am going to get a vacation at all from stress.

I haven't made any firm commitments as of yet regarding when and how long anyone can stay. I told everyone I wouldn't figure it out until I was done with finals this week.



Another engineering rant
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Can I just say that I am sooooo sick of school I could throw up!!!! I am just wishing they would give me this damn engineering degree and I could go to work. With this little one though it is likely I will just continue on to graduate school because school and getting a stipend will be far less stressful then a 50+ engineering job and daycare. I guess there are worse things than that. I plan on trying to just survive these classes and then figure out how to fix my GPA for grad applications. For those of you not doing engineering I will try to explain what it is like. You go to school for all these hours and listen to a totally unprepared professor who was hired to do research and is the ice king. Then you spend the rest of the day figuring out what the heck he was teaching because the material is so complicated that they only cover 10% of it in class. Then you spend about 20 hours a week doing homework and projects only to squeak out a C or maybe a B if you are lucky. Before engineering I had a 4.0 why oh why I changed my major is still bewildering. Mostly I just hate the people that I have to work with. They are depressingly incompetent in people skills and fanatically egotistic and difficult to deal with. Owell I made my bed and I will lay in it until December then figure out what the future holds. Mostly I was looking forward to Chet and I finally earning some money and paying off our student loans but now unless I want to do a ridiculous amount of daycare I don't see us reaching anykind of financial solvency .

So today I finish my last spring final and then I will spend all weekend studying for those incompletes. Next week I will be taking 3 more exams and writing a paper for a lab class. Then the week after that I have two more exams and I will have finished everything for the school year.

This gives me one week off and then I start class again that runs up to my due date. Am I thrilled about this??? NO!!! but there is no way these classes will get done after the baby and I have to grow up and get my priorities straight.

We are down to penny pinching now. Hopefully news will come through that we got the postdoc in the next few weeks.

Gosh...I don't know how you are doing it?

I am exhausted just reading about it and I can imagine...

I am almost at the end of my Masters program...I give my presentation onTuesday...I just started preparing today...eeek...once that is over I have to finish editing my paper...I have until June 15 to give her the final bound copy...knowing me...I will take until that day too!

It's the end of the school year which is also crazy...and...I am sending resumes out like mad looking for a new school for the fall...I think since the first week of April I have sent out 15-16 resumes...the problem being...most principals don't begin hiring for the fall until June-August!

Oh well...hope you can get through it!

mcmarto

I Promise this is going to be a positive post if it kills me.
I have four more antibiotic doses left. I am crossing everything that the UTI is gone for good because if not They will put me back on them FOR EIGHT WEEKS UNTIL I DELIVER!!! and they are just wiping me out.

Didn't get tons done today. I just visited with my neighbors ( had a little porch get together with everyone) We are a close bunch of students and I make it a point to know all of them because I think it is nice to have someone you can count on. They checked in on me while Chet was in Georgia and It was comforting to know that I could knock on their door at 2am if needed. Some are going home for the summer but renting through the fall so they will be back.

I am thinking of letting my mother stay in our neighbors apt if they say it is ok. I am not sure a 60 year old woman should be sleeping on a futon.

The baby is soo darn cute these days. Or I should say that my belly is so darn cute. It is defenitly time for more pics. Now the little one sleeps on one side for hours so I am completely lopsided. Chet is getting the biggest kick out of it. We have a little sqirmer in there and it is lots of fun. Especially now that I don't double over when she kicks my bladder. I hope this UTI is gone. I absolutely do not want preterm labor.

I got some new prenatal vitamins that aren't making me as sick and so if I get off these pills tomorrow then I am homefree and I will be happy to maybe get a bit of energy back.

Thanks to all these wonderful target gift cards . WE HAVE DIAPERS!!! they had a great sale this week and I got some good deals. I swear that store has the cutest baby stuff tooo.

Chet has the changing table almost finished and will make the little dresser this week. I am crossing my fingers he will stain it next weekend and we will have the bedroom put together so that I can put things in the drawers and get the room arranged.

we go back to Bradley classes this week and I am really excited. Did I mention that we are doing the elections on Tuesday as well? I ask chet if we could take the jeep so we could put a comfortable chair in the back and pack some lunches etc. I think we earn like 250 dollars for the day and again that is a lot of diapers or Air conditioning money depending on whats due this week.

Everything else is going well. I am really grateful everyone has been so happy for me about this baby. Just having all this positive support has really pumped me up. I am glad that I stayed on DT and my other forums because I needed a lot of reasurance the last 8 months to get ready for the big event.

We are all gald you stayed too...

mc :D

Hey, CJ!! Glad to hear everything is getting so exciting on the baby front. Good for you! And glad to hear Chet is back home to take care of you. :x

Guess what I did today? Rode my bike! Thanks for the prod in my journal. I needed that. Did a 20-minute ride after desperately begging Sweetie to help me pump up my tires. My pump had a leak! I need a new pump. My b-day is later this week & I think I'm gonna get one... :laugh: Anyway, the ride was great. 20 minutes did not totally wear me out, as it would have in times past. I love the road slicks and only one wrist was tingly so the new handlebars are helping a lot too.

Take care & keep us posted!

Lisrey :*

Well yesterday was quite an adventure. I was lending my mountain bike to my friend who is going to do her first triathlon in two weeks. Well Chet had climbed all over this bike and we stuck it on the car and took it over there.

He was going to adjust it but I just said "Let me ride it to see if it will fit her" so I ride it ( no hemet) down the block and back and on the way back I shifted through the gears. I was just about to stand up and the front derailer had a problem and the chain jumped off the front cog. So here I am going down whether I like it or not. I ejected the bike and went completely limp. It was a A+ crash if I do say so myself. I didn't get tangled in the bike and all of my limbs were in tact.

The only problem is I smacked my noggin on the way down pretty stinking hard. I about blacked out until I heard chet talking to me. After examining my damaged head we were on the way to the hospital.

The stupid hospital didn't even give me any neosoporine for my road rash. tylenol for my head or ice for that matter. Chet had to stomp around until he could get ice in a baggie for me because it was an hour before we could see the head specialist guy.

Once I layed down for twenty minutes with some ice on it I could see normally again and I was starting to feel coherant. They checked me out and released me after an hour or so.

I had called my midwife on the way to the hospital and she wanted me to go to Labor and Delivery for 4 hours to get a strip and monitor the baby because I took quite the spill. So chet called her and she insisted we go and off I went to the little baby wing. It took chet and me 10 minutes to figuure out how to snap up that hospital gown I told him we had better master that because come baby day I would need to get that thing on while in labor .. even the sleaves snaped I hadn't ever worn one like that...


Well the baby was moving a lot in ER but I think she was glad mom had settled down because the little one was fast asleep for the whole time. They gave me juice to wake the baby up and even tried the little alarm clock but there was nothing doing. The heart rate was steady but the baby was probably worn out from the excitement. Finally around 7pm the baby woke up and then they took a basic ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid.


all and all It was probably good I stayed that whole time because I got to lay perfectly still in a comfortable bed with ice on my noggin for 4-6 hours. After a little while I felt better and we just sat and visited and relaxed.


As if that were not enough
When we got home the air conditioning in our house was broken and so it was 100 degrees. I called up my girlfriend and we went and stayed at her house for the night. Chet got the landlord on the roof at 8am and by 9:00 I had AC again.

So while I have a bit of a headache and some serious road rash on my arm, I am doing just fine and sleeping today. My midwife called me again to make sure that I was taking it easy and to lecture me on sleeping and just not doing a dang thing. So other than getting to catch up on DT journals I guess today is going to be a lot of napping and lots of water.

What a weekend. Don't worry I will be off the bike for the next 3-4 months anyway. It was just a stupid fluke. I was on the bike less than 2 minutes.
I contacted my professors and told them that I wouldn't be taking the tests for the incompletes today and I will just see how I feel about doing the one on Wednesday.

WOW...an adventure for sure!

Hope you get enough sleep!...

Heck...I don't even need a bike to make a fall...I trip over my own feet!

hahaha!

mc

So glad you and baby are ok.

Now.... TAKE CARE!!! lol

Darlene

Guys
I have been trying to pump up my journal and make it more positive. I feel like I have had this streak of bad luck lately :tomato:

After the biking fiasco ( goose-egg still there but going down) I went to my Dr. appt on Wednesday and she checked me out and I am pretty sure that the baby is head down.

Chet looked so exhausted from things I begged him to let us go away for the weekend. Midwife cleared me so we decided to drive up to the mountains for the weekend. I got up and had 11