Hi everyone, and welcome to my new Journal.

It's a new month on just so happens to be a Monday too, what do ya know.

I've decided to give Atkins another try. I know it works so hey, why not.

I'm still going to my OA meetings and I'm continuing to work my program.

My meeting today was a short one. Nobody showed LOL. So I didn't stick around, but I did do some "home work"

I hope this month will be a good one.

Highlights this month are. St Pattie's day- (I'm half Irish) and Bry-Anne's 6th birthday which we will celabrate with a tea party.

Well, not much else to say tonght.

My goals for this month are

To workout for one hour a day...yep, one hour. Going to start usuing that treadmill.

Keep riding my exercise bike.

Follow Atkins to the letter.

Drink my water

Take my vitamins.

Have a great night.

Darlene

Sounds like a good list of goals there, Fleur! Good luck with them. You have been doing great with the bike. I have been away from mine for a few days and need to crack down on myself to get back at it again. Go for it! We're going to rock in March!

Lisrey :coach:

Good for you Darlene,

Sounds like a good plan. With the better weather coming, it will make getting outside for some walking more fun for everyone too.

As long as we keep working it we are heading in the right direction all the way, and eventually it will all pay off in the end. We will be one heck of a wonderful group of successful losers!!
Hooray for the DT Losers! :D

Sandie

Hi Dar,
dont suppose you want to come join the exercise minutes thread we have going...it always keeps me accoutable..plus Donna and Jess and the others bust out the minutes so i have to get to the gym just to keep up lol..
Your daughters tea party sounds gorgeous.. what does she want for her b'day?.
Good luck with your March goals!
hugs bell :)

how was your day Dar?

hopefully great !!

I am hoping march is great for you too


:jn


a tea party sounds wonderful... hell at 40 i would enjoy one hahah


too bad about the no shows at the meeting... you always have support tho...right here !


i am back to work today... hope to hit the gym again soon too

today is last day of major meds for weiner...then sched is better


lets make march great !!

one day at a time



:x



Peng

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!

Plus just think When ST. Pattys day is here you can consume lots of Corn Beef and Cabbage ay.... %%- ME FAWTHER ES IRISH! %%-

KISS MEE KISS MEE.. oh... Anywhoos......

RAWR....

my older sister had a tea party when she was young like your daughter and she still remember it 40 yrs later with such fond memories :)

Go girl on your plan - it sounds great :dn

Beth :not:

Your March goals look great. May the luck of the Irish be with you. Take it a day at a time, and enjoy life.

Hey Fleur,

Looks like a great start to March's journal, good for you.

I know you will just love the 1 hour a day for exercise, you will get so much energy, just remember to listen to that body and especially that back. They can be so particular sometimes, LOL.

I started a new journal this month also, and even started walking today. I may check out the thread that bell talked about.

Well, here's to the best of success for March, whoohoo, and maybe some flowers popping up by the end of it.

Wow, look at all my visitors :wave:

NANCY- I will be carefull of my back, that's for sure. I can't afford to have it out of whack again.

I'm going to have to check out your new journal. Thanks for letting me know.

I think I'm going to check out the exercise mins thread Bell mentioned too. Sure can't hurt.

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JO- Hi there :wave: I hope the luck of the Irish is with us all. I know we can all use a bit of it now and again.
You know, I keep saying "One day at a time", but I seem to always forget to enjoy life.

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BETH- I hope my daughter's tea party will be as memorable as your sisters. I know I'll remember it LOL

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MAXI- Not sure that I like corned beef and cabbage LOL. Well I do like the cabbage, but I have to be carefull how much I eat for the regular reasons LOL no pun intended.
BTW, I love your avatar. So cute and Irish LOL.


Kiss kiss

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PENG- I'm hoping that wee pup of yours heals fast. Poor lil guy.

I can't wait to see the results from your visit with your DT.

So..... if you want a tea party.... Why not have one???? Seriously, invite a few friends over and have some fun. You could have real teas... all different flavors, or you could spike it :wink:

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BELL- I hope her tea party is a success. I have no idea what to get her cause she likes just about everything LOL. Barbie and dolls seem to be easy enough, so I'll prob go with those.

I think I will join your ex mins thread. I'm going to start putting my exercise program into place starting on Monday. I'm giving myself till then to get over the effects of starting Atkins. ( The first week is usually hell) After that, I should be ok. So, I'll prob check in and start logging on Monday.
Thanks for the invite.

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SANDIE- Don't remind me of the warm weather! What am I saying??? I can't wait for the warm weather. But you just reminded me of all the work I have in store for me. I mean, lot and lots of work this year.

I'm so looking forword to being a successful loser.:D

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LISREY- The bike is the only exercise I've kept up. I really enjoy it and I can't wait to get a real bike and start taking advantage of this nice weather.
Speaking of weather. call me sad, but I miss my storms. I miss the smell of rain in the air before a storm. I miss lightning and thunder. God, I can't wait till spring.
You know, they were calling for a bit of thunder the other day. We didn't get any and I felt robbed LOL. See, I told ya I was sick LOL.

We will rock this month.

****************************************************

Today was day 1 on the Atkins diet. I did just fine. One day at a time. I know the headaches are coming. They always do went I just start low carbing. Thank goodness they don't last long.

I need to scoot. Time to call my sponser.

Have a great night and thanks so much for stopping in.

Dar

:dc Good for you on Day 1...... Hooora!

I really know nothing about Atkins. I would kind of like to try it, But my Best Friend and Confidant, won't let me. She thinks because I have had Kidney Problems in the psat that its not the right diet for me...... But I want to maybe try it...

That's all we can do my friend, One Meal at a time. One day at a time.

So any words of encouragment on the workouts is greatly needed my way....

Oh and BTW I have a new journal also.....Come see me sometime...

Have Fun with daughters Tea Party... Too Cute:D

MAXI- I do know Atkins can be rather hard on your kidneys. I guess if you wanted to try it, I'd ask what kind of problems you've had in the past. A kidney infection would prob be ok as long as it is well out of your system and you aren't prone to them. Any other conditions, and I would seek the advice of a Dr first.

Tell you what, I'll encourage you to work out, if you encourage me.
I'm planning on begining on Monday. 60 mins a day. Care to join me? Just pick a time of day, and let nothing get in your way. That's what I'm going to do. When that clock says 5:45AM, I'm up and that will be that. No guess work, no excuses... just going to do it.

****************************************************

Day 2 on Atkins and all is well. I am enjoying my food plan too.

Got to go get ready for Reilly's power skating class. Mom's work is never done.

Take care

Darlene

:up: ITS A DEAL!

Monday

5: 20 a.m. 30 minutes
3:00 p.m. 30 minutes
Bootie and legs, whilst watching T.V.

Dar hi, you sure are a very cheerful lady love that, Your daughters tea party does sound fun. I hope she has a good one. I walk in the evenings with my hubby. It gives us a little time together. Well i am going to go. Have a nice day. Veda :D

VEDA- Thanks for stopping in. I love your avatar. Looks like a nice family you have there.

I try to be cheeful, but sometimes it's just not so easy. I just love all my friends here at DT. You guys really make my day, and I mean that. With out DT, I don't know where I'd be.

****************************************************

MAXI- This is commitment I make to you and to myself. No excuses, I'm there doing it!!! Monday... and everyday.
This time, I'm not taking off the weekends unless Reilly has a hockey game which would require me to get up before 7AM. If I have to be up at 7, I can get up earlier and workout. If I need to be up at 5AM (like this Sunday,) There is no way I'm getting up at 4AM to workout... SORRY! LOL.
This Sunday will/ should be the last Sunday for hockey. There may be one other in the future if we do well this week. His team is in the lead by one point, but the other teams still have 2 games to play and we only have one. Guess it'll depend on how we do, as well as how they do.

Sorry, went off there. Hockey mom:o
Ok, since I'm already on the hockey subject, I have to tell ya, two weeks ago, Reilly got 3 goals in 9 seconds. A record for the division and who know in what else. I had thought there was more time between them, but I was told otherwise.
This past Sunday, he scored another 3 goals, this time throught the game LOL. He has 10 points in 2 games. (points are awarded for goals and assists to other goals... just incase you don't follow hockey)
He is keeping his team alive. Ok, I'm braging again. I'm just so darn proud of him.

Hockey talk all done LOL.

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Can't wait till tomorrow, going to be 67* for a high (a record high) and we just might get one of those storms I've been missing so much. Oh I'm gonna have my windows open :D Listen to the thunder....:D Oh I just can't wait.

My Atkins program is working great. I feel the energy returning already. Strange, I'd have thought I'd be going through the headaches. So far so good. My appetite is going down already too. I don't have cravings for sugar anymore.

Just going to do it one day at a time.

I talked to my sponsor today. Reported in I guess you'd say. I'm also really working the steps. I'm going to start writing my 4th step inventory, which is a list of all the crap I have EVER done. Even those embarrasing things I'd rather forget. They must come out or they will be a reason to eat later...or sooner!

Just going to take that one day at a time too and pray for guidence.

Been doing alot of that lately... prayer. "GOD" is becoming a prayer in it's self LOL. Dan quit smoking on the 1st, So you can imagine how many times I've prayed for patience and understanding. Deep breaths and lots of counting to 10 LOL. No need for me to react to his anger. Just not worth it.

Well, I'm being kicked off my my 9 year old son LOL

Take care and Happy Friday

Dar

You should be a proud Mom! I was thinking reading your previous post about taking him to his skating class that I should get HIM to teach me to stop on my ice skates! I'll bet he'd be a great teacher. He must be an awesome skater.

Glad you're feeling good about your plan. Isn't this forecast for tomorrow amazing? I am going to be out shopping with a friend. Hope we don't get too wet, but I am SO READY for the 60s! Enjoy your day!

Lisrey :laugh:

Hey Dar, sorry its taken me so long to get to your new "home." :D
Wow, I'm feeling for your kids Dar, one parent starts a new meal plan and the other quits smoking! :laugh:
But it sounds like it hasn't been too tough a transition for you, and usually the first few days are the worst on any plan, so maybe this will be a plan you'll really find liveable. I hope so! :D

And yeah, you should be a proud mom! Yay Reilly! :cheer:

Donna

Dar,
Thanks for the compliment on my family. I am very proud of them.
Go ahead and brag on your son as much as you want. Sounds like your doing pretty good. I love DT too. . Well i just dropped in to say Hi and to have a good day. Veda:D

Okee Dokee. :up:

I will have to commit as each day comes. BUt for now I will commit to Monday... Any more may overwhelm You know I am a Fragile Flower. (NOT)

But YES, Monday..... I'm all over Monday.... Do you know Many Moons ago, My mother and I started a Fat Free diet. I lost 20 pounds and so slowly petered off... My Mom started walking and boy did she walk. She just kept going and going...... and the weight just fell off of her. And she has never gained it back. She still walks cause she likes too. :o I'm feeling inspired.....

DAR you know these times right now with your son in Hockey.. These times are the best. You are doing the very best thing you can for your son. one you have him in a sport he is good at, two, he will build great confidence. and three, how could he not knowing how proud his Mom is of him......

MAXI/FRAGILE FLOWER- Well, if he don't know by now ..... LOL I'm sure the other parents at hockey know. I'm the loud mouth parent who gets the other parents cheering. I bring my pom poms and my signs :o Only during tournaments and playoffs. Still, I'm the one who starts the cheering and the others reluctantly follow. I just want my son and everyone else to know how proud and supportive I am. ( I lose my voice just about every week LOL)
I am not however one of those lousy parents who yell at the refs and bad mouth other players. I hate those people.
There was one game I was really upset about. Since Reilly is such a good player, the other teams know his number and are told to cover him. This one team was told to "take him out" They were very physical. At this age, they don't check for two reasons. 1- they don't know how to do it so it doesn't hurt someone, and 2- they don't know how to take a hit properly as to not get hurt. So at this game, Reilly was being hit, checked, slasked, tripped and speared, and not one penalty was called.
You better believe I was yelling at that game. Turns out, one of the parents from the other team ws so upset because of they way her son's team acted that she complained!

So, Ok, I'm gonna hold you to Monday. Whaaaaat about every Monday????:tomato: Hey, a girls gotta try right? LOL

****************************************************

VEDA- I just feel kind foolish sometimes. I just can go on and on about Reilly's hockey :o My poor girls. I just wish they had something they were as passionate about. My oldest daughter (12) has tried this and that, but quites because she finds it's not what she thought it would be. My youngest is almost 6 and she's just not at the age to find her thing just yet. She's easy going about it so I don't need to worry so much about her.

Still, I know I can go on and on.

****************************************************

DONNA- Atkins seems pretty easy for me to follow this time around. Guess enough time has past since my last effort LOL.

One thing I've learned doing Atkins the first time, I can't cheat. A cheat is so hard to get over for me while doing Atkins. Not only that, but it takes 3 days to go into kytosis. I have already spent those 3 days, and a slip now will mean that out of 7 days, only 1 was good. See what I mean? Just not worth it. Going to stay true.

I sure hope you're feeling better. I'm gonna scoot over to your journal and get an update. You know, you sure are one lucky lady!

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LISREY- as I post this, it IS tomorrow LOL, and the sun is out shining in all it's glory! It is a bit windy, but not so bad.

I'm sure Reilly would love to teach you..... hockey LOL . I know he'd just say "just do what I do" Yeah, right, easier said then done!
I'm taking him later tonght to registar for hockey for next year. We registar him now, then come September, he can try out for the travel team.

So..... how did you enjoy your day today? I'm gonna have to stop in your journal later on too. I know I haven't been there in some time. I really need to get back to reading more journals!!!!!

****************************************************

Well, that's my whole life for today LOL

Guess I had better go get my kids home from school. Bry-Anne's going to tell me all about her day to be the teacher's special helper:D .

Have a great weekend.

Dar

your kids r so lucky !!!

and so are you !

I am glad you are feeling good with your plan

it makes things so much easier


I am working tons in etween doctoring the dogs

so no time to get in trouble hahahahha


little steps huh


I wanted to say hi and wish you a great weekend


I bet bry-anne will be exploding with stories for you hahaha


sweet



take care sweetie



hope to chat with you soon



:x



Peng

I am proud of you Fleur for being such a great hockey mom!!!! Good for you!!!

Glad you are happy with atkins again, I love how you just change and do what you feel is best. Some people just get stuck in a rut you know. I am stuck in a bit of one right now, and it is called eating too much, grrrrr.

I am walking again though and feeling great about that.

Well, take care sugar, and be good.

Hello everyone:wave:

I have sad news.

Yesterday, Reilly's hockey team lost 5-2. They have been kicked out of 1st place and they've moved into second. The sad news is they have a game in hand and the other two teams that could catch them and move them out of second are playing each other next week. So, it doesnt matter which team wins, or even if they tie, one of them will move to second. This will mean Reilly's team will move to 3rd or even 4th.
The whole team was so upset. Reilly played a good game. He got the 2 goals, but it just wasn't enough.

****************************************************

Had a really good meeting today. (OA) I bawled like a baby. (There were only 3 of us) I got to talking about Dan being controling and how it makes me feel. Felt good after. I know I just need to work the steps and I'll find myself and my voice, my nerve, my courage and my selfesteem.

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MAXI- I kept my end of the bargan. I did one whole hour of workout today. I did 30 mins of Gilad, 20 mins on the bike, 30 mins on the treadmill, and ended it off with about 10 mins of floor work.
Can't wait to hear how your Monday went :wink:

I'm outta here

Have a great night and a better tomorrow.

Dar

Wow good for you Fleur, way over your 60 minutes of exercise per day. Awesome.

I am going to try and walk each morning this week, right after my son gets on the bus. The weather is promising and compared to last week should be easy.

Keep up the great work, you are an inspiration.

Hey Dar, I've got the biggest grin on my face right now because reading that you did like 90 minutes of working out is just too cool! I can remember VIVIDLY you thinking 30 minutes was going to be hard for you to do, and look at you now a few months later!:D
So sad for Reilly and his teammates, I guess the little guys are really disappointed.:(

Have a good one today Dar,

Donna

Popping in to say "hi" :wave: and see how you are doing.

Looking good! Your working things out and reach out to your OA for support/help and that is wonderful :)

Beth :not:

Hi Ya Babe......

Its the only thing that got me out of bed. I suppose you haven't read my journal but I posted that at 5: 00 my alarm went off and I hti the snooze and decided I wasnt going to workout. Then Bam it went off again, and I refused to get out of bed. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, as if you were in the room working out,,, and you said You promised me this one day... BAH! I flew out of bed did my 30 on treadmill, and walked the dog for 20 last night....... :hop:

Hey girl!

Sorry it took me so long to find you!...But I did!...I have been having computer problems now for a few weeks...I shipped it out to a friend of my brothers...he say's it works fine on his DSL line at home...but he was deleting some programs...updating others and giving me more memory!...He told me to get rid of AOL and get a DSL or cable link...so this I will do...hopefully its not my phone line giving me problems (it has in the past)...and today my phone is dead...if you call...it will ring and you can leave a voicemail...so I don't know if its my phone or my phone line...I am at my mom's so I am going to borrow one of her phone's and test it out!...Hopefully by next Thursday or Friday I will be up and running again!

Glad to hear you are back on a plan...from my experience in the last 2 years I realize most plans work...I have done calore counting...low carb (SBD)...and Weight Watchers...they all worked as long as I stuck to them...honestly with SBD I felt the best...most energy...but as you know...once you fall off...for whatever reason...the weight starts to creep back on!

I wish I could be more like Lisrey...losing weight since February 2001...having some bad days...but not completely giving in...losing 76 pounds in the meantime...I am just a giant yo-yo...I lose the 15-20 pounds in 8 - 10 weeks...then spend the next 2 or 3 months gaining it back...I currenly feel like a giant blob...I have gained back 20 pounds in almost 3 months...I have actually been maintaining for the past 3 weeks...but I have not been able to start anything!

Hopefully soon!

Keep up the great work!

I will talk to you soon!

mcmarto

Hi everyone.

Sorry I haven't been around much. Been so busy.
Bry-Anne had her tea party yesterday. Went off with out a hitch. She got at least 6 new barbies LOL She just loves barbies.

Oh figures, I just get on here and now I've got to go.

Hope to post again soon.

Luv all you guys

Dar

Glad Bry-Anne's tea party went so well, and new Barbie's could make anyone's day! :D

Donna

Gosh...growing up I had 2 Barbie's...and maybe 2 generic versions...barely any accessories and definitely nothing else!...Sigh!

When I was 22...I started babysitting these girls that had about 40 between them...plus the house...the car...the RV...the pool...and drawers of clothes and accessories...lucky for me...I was able to enjoy it all!...hahahaha!

Hope you have a good week!

mcmarto

Fleur, where did you go? Hope everything is ok.

Congrats on 'another' successful kiddo party!!!!

:( Where you Go?

glad the tea party went well, hope to see a post from you soon!
hugs bell :)

Hi guys,

Sorry I haven't been around much. So much is going on.

Lets put it this way, for a few weeks now, Dan has become more and more controling. I'm going crazy with it.

It's to the point now that my puter time is monitored. When he's not home, he's calling all the time and since we have dail up, he freaks that the line is busy.

I will post later..... I hope..... on what's going on.

Let me just say this, if things don't change, I will have to change them.

Thanks so much for missing me. It really means the world to me.

Dar

Sorry things are so crazy, Fleur. I miss you, too! Hope you can get it all worked out soon and come back to us. Take care.

Lisrey :x

miss you Dar.
i hope that Dan gets over himself before long and gives you some freedom.
will watch out for a post from you soon.
hugs bell :)

Hi Darlene,

Sorry about the problem with the controlling hubby. Hope you can't manage to convince him he is not threatened by a bunch of women.....take care.

Miss you,
Sandie

Thanks for letting us know Fleur, sorry it is happening to you though. What will they think of next.

Will be thinking of you..........

Hi everyone :wave:

I managed to find my way back here to post this message.

What can I say, I feel empty.

For the past few weeks, Dan has been being very controlling. He always has been, but lately it's been so very bad.

There is no aspect of my life which he doesn't control now. Who I see or talk to, when I can watch tv or talk on the phone, the computer is pretty much out. He regulates my sleep to some extent, and all of my time.

He talks to me like a child. "don't give me your lip" that one drives me nuts.

My house is never clean enough for him. I don't dare tell him to do it himself... not that I haven't tried that before.

Believe me when I say there is nothing I haven't said or done to change this situation.

I know most of you are thinking why don't you just tell him to do it himself or kick him to the curb.

The answer is simple.... fear.

For years, he has told me over and over that this is the way things are and if I don't like it I could leave.... Without the kids.
Now I know legally I would be in good shape, but it's not legal I worry about.
We have watched shows or the news were women have left their husbands, and always the same thing comes out of his mouth... I'd kill her, have her offed, I'd give her a bullet.

These are things hes said to me over the years in passing. Not really a threat though.

He is a man of action. When he says he will do something, he does it, no matter how long it takes to get it done.

If I leave, I wouldn't be surprised if we would quite his high paying job just so he wouldn't have to pay support. That's if I could get away with the kids.

No, he has never hit me, but he's never needed to.

Wed night, I had made plans to go to bingo. I wanted to go into the city to play, but he wanted my to just go into town to save money on gas.
Fine! I went into town. Bingo was from 6:45- 9:30 for the first session, and 9:30- midnight for the second.
I got home at 12:25.
Usually I call home between sessions, but this time I didn't cause I forgot the cell phone.
I got in and he was just sitting there with no tv on, just waiting for me with a very angry face. I really was puzzled as to why.
He demanded I explain. Explain what????
He wanted to know why I didn't call, my answer wasn't good enough either. He didn't belive I had been at bingo either. He a called the bingo hall looking for me at midnight, but there was no answer....HELLO!!! THEY WERE CLOSED!!!
Anyway he stormed down stairs and told me not to come down. So, I ended up sleeping on the couch.

Since then, I have not said "I love you". Why should I, it's waisted.

This week we are claiming bankruptcy. BIG SUPRISE!!! I've told you all about his big ticket spending before, well, it's caught up with us.

I swear, I'm giving him till the new year (that's when we'll be discharged) If things don't change, I'm leaving.
Before I do, I'll find out just how to do it so I'll be safe.

There is a song by Linkin Park that describes me perfectly.
I've copied it out, tell me, what do you think?


Numb

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes

[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]

I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you

can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought I would be
has fallen apart right in front of you

[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
and every second I waste is more than I can take

I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be



To me, that just sums it all up.

So, I won't be posting regularly anymore. Don't know when I'll get back. Ha! figures, I just get caught up on my 50 e-mails, and now I'm gonna get all behind again.

I thank you all for your support and friendship.

You guys mean the world to me. And know that just cause I'm not here, doesn't mean I'm not thinking of you.



:c( Goodbye

Darlene

I am so very sorry . . . . .

Oh Fleur...I can't believe he is doing this again!!!

I hope things get better...but what can you do?...

Does he even get that he is so controlling?...Why do you think he acts this way?...Has he always been like this?

You know my DH is sort of manic depressive...definitely has a depression problem which leads to alcohol and in a way he controls me too...doing things to upset me or frustrate me...then coming back...super sweet...apologizing...doing things right for so many days or weeks...then after awhile...the cycle begins again!

I hope you can get through this and stay sane and healthy!

Keep me informed!

mcmarto

Hi Dar, sorry things are so tough :hug:

You know, Dan's "control issues" could be the thing that's at the very heart of your eating issues. You mentioned he tries to control every aspect of your life, so naturally, subconsciously, you'd try to have some control over something in your own life, so food becomes the one thing that only you get to control.

Sending you hugs and positive vibes girlfriend..

<<<<<:ghug:>>>>>

Donna

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To anyone else reading this post. I am only posting this in public as I do not know if Dar husband is reading her emails, hence would know if I sent her a PM. I know this is not "proper" for a DT post, and I do apologize, but it is the only way I have to try to get this message to Dar.

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Dar, I am not sending you a PM as I don't know if he is checking your emails.

Dar, I am here for you! If you read this, and can PLEASE email me!

beth_150@yahoo.com

Go and get a yahoo or hotmail email address that only you have access to and email me.

I can help you. I am not sure if I ever told you this, but I work with women who need to get out and "hide". We can change your name or whatever needs done to keep you safe from him. You will not be forced to do anything you don't want to do. We will just give you safe options and show you how to stay save and hid if need be.

Many years ago I had to do this, and now I do it for other women.

If you decide to leave him and fear for your safety please let me help you.

Gosh I wish I could call you or contact you.........sigh

Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Speaking to you as a counselor of abused women and as your online friend, just do what you need to do for now to stay safe, until you decide if you are going to leave.

PS. I do not want you to think I am saying you should leave. I just want you to know if you decide to leave and need some help staying safe I am here for you. I am also here for you if you decide to stay. I care Dar.


Beth

Fleur,

Oh Man, I wish I could just come get you and the kids. I feel so far away from you.

I will be thinking of you and praying for all of you.

Be strong for Fleur, do what you need to do, don't wait too long for a miracle, make your own.

pm me any time or mail me through msn.

I hope you and the kids are ok...

I hope you come back to us soon!

mcmarto

please check in if you can Darlene..i am worried about you.
sending big hugs your way!
hugs bell :)

Hi everyone :wave:

Just stopped in to let you all know I'm ok.

Things are still rough around here.

I'm just hanging in ... by a thread, but hanging in.

I thank you all for you love and support, it means so much to me. It's helping me stay strong.

I will get through this, one way or the other.

Got to go, but I'll be back when I can.

Love you all

Dar

I know we don't know each other very well, Darlene, but I just wanted you to know how sorry I am that you are going through this. I used to be with someone like that and it's difficult to get away and stay away....... I feel like God gave me the strength to do what I didn't have the strength to do on my own.

Have you ever considered couples counseling or individual counseling? Maybe if he got into counseling his issues would come out and he'd finally be aware of what they were...... just a thought if you don't want to leave.

Just take care of yourself and be prepared to leave on a moments notice if things get too bad. Have a bag packed for you and the kids and leave it with a friend and have some placed lined up for you all to go. If you have it arranged ahead of time, just in case, you won't have to flounder if something happens and you have minutes to get out.

I hope you never have to do that, but just being aware and prepared is a really good thing and it might give you just a little bit of comfort knowing you are taking control of your life even in that little way.

Take care of yourself and your children..... you're all in my prayers!

Oh...so glad to hear from you!

Can't wait until you can fill us in...remeber...stay in control!

mcmarto:)

It's 5:30 AM and I have a few moments to post.

Thanks Dj. I will take your advice and get a bag ready. Seems like a smart idea to me. Thanks. You never know if and when I may need it.

Thanks MC. I'm trying to get here as much as I can without rocking the boat.


I really don't know what to make of this.
He told me the other day that in the next few weeks I should look into getting a lawyer. Then the next thing I know, he's painting the kitchen in my colors, making b-day plans for my daughter in May, planning on power skating for my son. All this like nothing is happening. I just don't get it. Does he want this or not?
I really need to get my crap together so I don't have to dangle on this string.

Any way, things went smooth yesterday. No outburst. Thank God!

I had better go. Go to take Reilly to hockey practice. Tomorrow is his last game of the season.

Have a great day.

I know I will...... I'm going out to an all day OA function and when I get home, he'll be gone to work :D

Dar

Hey Fleur...I hope your day goes well...

I sent you a PM...talk soon!

mcmarto

If you ever need to "talk," you have my email address. :hug:

Getting your "ducks in a row" can be a frustrating process so please don't be afraid to seek support from us here. I know first hand from my first marriage how emotional a process like leaving a relationship like this can be. It's about more than just you, its about your kids and their lives as well, and being such a great mom I'm sure you're willing to endure almost anything for their happiness. But you need some happiness and peace of mind too, so know that we're here! :ghug:

Donna

So good to hear from you Dar..
I agree with Donna...the kids deserve a happy mum too sweetie and you deserve happiness not hanging around not knowing whats happening from one day to the next.
stay strong sweetie.
hugs bell :)

prayers being sent my friend :)

Beth :not:

Hi gang! :wave:

Dan decided to take this week off. That's the reason it's been so hard for me to get back here.

So far so good this week. He's only gone nuts a couple of times.
I did the best possible thing I could ever do, I started going to Al-Anon meetings. Not sure if Dan's an alcoholic or not, but he sure has the personality of one.
I can see hope in those meetings. Those people tell the same story as mine, only they are now happy. They have over come fear and resentments. I want what they have and I'm willing to work with them to get it.

Well, I had better scoot before Hitler wakes up.

Take care

love you all so much.

Dar

:console:

:hug: I am here for you my friend - sending prayers your way for strength and wisdom.

Beth :not:

Ditto :console:

Donna

Glad you are back!

Thanks for the info on the meetings!

mc

In case you get a chance to read this, I want to let you know I am thinking/praying for you :)

I sure miss you!

Beth :not:

Hi my friends.

I would love to reply to each of your posts, but for time reasons I can't.

Thank you all for your prayers. I sure could use them.

Things are not so good here. I hope to be in a safer place soon. I just hope I don't have to sport wings to get there.

Love you all

Dar

dar, :hug: and prayers :rose:

please stay safe my friend!

Beth :not:

i am so worried for you Dar, please stay safe and do whatever you have to in order to stay that way.
hugs bell :)

Hey D...

I am worried too...you have never been away for so long...I hope things get better or you make them get better...mcmarto

Hi guys, I'm ok.

Things seem to have simmered down for now. Al-Anon meetings seem to be helping me cope too.

When the time is right, I'll know it. There will be no more questioning it.

I have packed a bag to keep handy just in case.

One day I will be free, one way or the other. I'm still holding out hope that he will come around and get over what ever it is that's got his panties in a twist.

Thanks so much for your love and support. I couldn't do this without you guys.

Dar

Dar,

Missing you but glad you post when you can. I tried your e-mail but it didn't work, will try something again soon.

Be careful.

Dar, I'm really relieved to hear that you are in Al-Anon meetings! I've been a member of Al-Anon for 14 years now.... since 1990 and it's a life saver for sure. Just be on your guard and leave if you need to. You'll have the strength when you need it.....

Glad for now things are a bit better. I've been thinking about you and sending up prayers! Take care of yourself and be safe!

:console: MISS YOU!

I hope you and your family have a nice weekend!

Stay warm...it has gotten cold here again...eeek!

mcmarto

Hi gals :wave:

Happy Easter.

I'm missing you guys like crazy. I'm hoping to get caught up on my house work and do some posting in the coming week.

Dan's on day shift so I'm hoping and praying. Lets keep our fingers crossed.

NANCY- I'm going to open a new e-mail address somewhere, and I'll give you the address. The other one must not be working right.

DJ- So glad to be in that live saving goupe. I have only been to 3 meetings, but already I feel more at peace. Things can only get better.
I will do what I have to do, if you know what I mean.

MC- I hope it warms up here soon. It's April after all.... it is April isn't it???

MAXI- I can't wait to do some real posting..... Oh and to read some journals again...ah, I miss you guys so much.

better scoot

Dar

Hi Darlene,

I never came in even suspecting things were so bad for you at this time. I am glad you have found Al-anon, and my thoughts are with you and your children. No one should have to live as you are doing. I hope you are and remain safe.

Hugs,
Sandie

Dar, not sure if you got my email either.....

Hope your safe my friend :)

Beth :not:

Hi Sandie,

I'm hoping things get better around here. Things seem to be calmer, but it's just that, "seem to be" I hope one day they really will be.
Till then, I'll do everything in my power to change me and I'll do what I need to do, AT ALL TIMES.

Thanks for the support.

****************************************************************

Beth,

I didn't get your e-mail either. I'm gonna open a new address somewhere and when I do, I'll send it to you. I'm hoping to do that next week when I have time. Now I'm just stealing a few mins here and there.

Best be going

Dar

Happy Easter Dar,
you and the kids are in my thoughts!
hugs bell :)

Happy Easter to you, Dar! I hope you and your kids have a great day...... take care and write when you can!

Oh my goodness! I just read your journal and I am so sorry you are going through this! It's so not right. I will pray for you and your family.

Corinna

Happy Blessed Easter! Remember He Has Risen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :flower:

Beth

Hey girl...so glad to here from you...I was getting worried...especially when the e-mails I was sending you were getting returned...

You can get a free account through Yahoo...then we can chat too...hope you have a nice Easter and a great week!

mcmarto