I had my first epiphany this weekend. I honestly didn't think it could happen overnight. I hear all the time about people who suddenly have this flash of what is right and it is such a life changing event. Well, I had one. I actually took some time for myself this weekend and seriously went over all the things that I don't like about me. What it boiled down to wasn't that I am fat or tired or hate what I do all the time. I realized how unhappy I was and that it is my own fault. I almost lost my marriage this week over my husband and I just not liking each other anymore. He says I'm not the person I used to be. Granted none of us are, but had just buried my personality in housework, school work and kids. No more. We decided that everynigh we are doing something as a family. Right now that means walking the dogs (or having the dogs walk us) just spending the tme together has made a huge change. My kids were even starting to act like me, bickering and arguing and jsut generally bad attitudes so, if I show them patience and kindness they will learn to be patient and kind again.

I am basing this new way of though on Cornthians 1 verse something. Love is patient and love is kind. That means that I have to be patient and kind to myself and when I can do that I can be patient and kind to all those around me. There really is a happy person inside me. I just had to give her the chance.

I don't think we've ever met or chatted .. but from time to time I like to read other Journals ...

You mentioned that you realized something this weekend ... and lol if you promise not to laugh ... YOU'RE NORMAL .

IMO Anytime you've been married for a while and have children somehow husbands and wives no longer share the way they did in the beginning ... I always felt that I lost my identity because whenever anyone recognized me ... it wasn't me ... it was my husband's wife ... or my daughter's mother ....

I was very active in my daughters' lives up until they learned to drive .. in fact I had a bumper sticker on my (yellow Maverick) that read MOM'S TAXI SERVICE .. and even though I complained (lol always something to complain about) looking back those were great times ...

Although my husband and I have been married now for 38 years ... we are just now (these past 8 years) learning how enjoyable it is to be in each other's company ...

I think it is great that you are spending time with your husband now ... togetherness is very important .. just like having one's own space at times is very important ...

Things will get better ... especially if you and your husband decide YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE THINGS BETTER.

I hope you don't mind my intruding .... Make it a great day. Always, Monica

congrat's Mo!!!! You DO deserve to take care of yourself. And, if you think about it, you will be able to take care of everyone else a whole lot better if you are taking care of yourself first. It's like the oxygen mask on the airplane rule...put your own on first, you are more useful breathing...as you can then help more people out in the long run.

Good luck on your journey! --Iv