I think its about time I started up a new journal,....or as I am going to think of it ,,......my own personal health forum.

One little thing over the last weeks has changed my attitude to food completely. WHEAT.

As far as im concerned the stuff is poison.....my little body can't handle it. SO now that Im wheat free,....my body is getting back to normal and trying to put the concept of dieting well behind me.

My plan for the future is to forget I ever had issues with food and put my energy into leading a healthy lifestyle.

The biggest acchievement for me is the fact that in the two and a half weeks that I have been off wheat I have not binged once. That is a huge step from binging two out of every three days.

I have also lost 5.5 pounds but im trying not to think of that. What I do want to do is make sure I am getting enough excercise. I am walking into college every day ....which is 4 miles. Hopefully with that i can tone up and get back to a healthy weight. But one thing I am not going to do is put a time frame on it. If it takes two years I am willing to wait that long as long as I am living healthily.

So there you go.....these are my thoughts...and this time I feel more sane in my dieting decisions. I think for the first time I am on track....im not going to say back on track because to be honest Im not sure I was ever on the track to begin with.

Talk to you all soon

Laoise

Today is the first day in so long that I have felt like binging. But im am not giving in to it. My plan was to realise the need to binge, work out why the need was there and then to talk myself down from it. Today it is pure tiredness. I was out till three in the morning last night and up at the crack of dawn thismorning. That with the prospect of a really long day tommorow just makes me weary.

So what Im going to do is walk out of the kitchen , make my little bro make me a big mug of tea and sit down in front of the tv ,....just chill and do nothing for a few hours......


Sounds like fun,.....just have to stay away from the kitchen........must not eat junk food.....


Laoise

Laoise, I think it's great that you've found you have an "allergy" to wheat. I've read that that isn't all that uncommon. I know for me, it's the sugar and now that I've pretty much cut out the sugar, I don't have cravings anymore. I can tell that you are confident about your decision to cut out the wheat and that's going to help you in the long run. I also think you are wise to look at getting healthy and not so much about dieting and losing weight. The weight will follow when you are eating like a healthy person.....

Maybe you feel like bingeing today because you are so tired. I've learned that tiredness is one of my biggest food triggers. I have to make myself go to bed at night because when I'm excessively tired, I will roam the kitchen wanting to eat and I don't even know what I'm hungry for. lol It's helped me a lot knowing that, so I can avoid being overly tired or at least go to bed and stay there when I know I'm in danger of eating the house down instead of sleeping.

Take care and have a good week! Sounds like you are on your way to a healthy and happy you.... and that's always good!

HI Dj,

thanks for dropping in. It must have been hard cutting out sugar,...probably worse than wheat,...theres sugar in everything.... fair dues to you. YOur right I am feeling confident. For so long I just thought I was incredibly greedy and felt quite disgusted with myself over it. Now I feel like a normal person with normal eating habits

The alergy test is today so I will come back later and post the results.

Laoise

Ps down another pound

Good luck with the test, Laoise..... I have to have allergy testing done sometime end of this month or next. I'm supposed to be making my appointment today or tomorrow. Don't know what to expect either, but it'll be good to know what's making me sick all the time. They'll probably tell me it's my mom..... LOLOL Just kidding.... she lives with my husband and me.

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR POUND! WOOHOO!! That's great news..... take care and I'll be looking forward to hearing how your test went.

WTG Laoise for the loss! That must be really hard to give up wheat, let alone surgar, DJ! Blah. I could never do it. Good luck and here for you if you need me!!

Melinda :)

Melinda, I thought I would never be able to do it either.... and honestly, I haven't given up ever single grain either. But I am under 5 grams a day of refined sugar and I feel so much better. It's amazing how many of your food cravings go away when you get rid of that. I used to crave candy so badly..... I could have just strapped on a feed bag filled with sugar! LOL

Take care and have a good rest of your week!

Hi guys, nice to hear from you,.......haven't had some new faces in here for a while......

Did my allergy test,...and the verdict is no wheat, dairy, sugar or tomatoes for six weeks then i can introduce the dairy back in and the tomatoes....He advised that I kick the wheat to the curb for good and consider doing the same to the sugar. Don't know about the sugar part. Its in everything. I like that idea of 5g a day though DJ.

Let me know how your test goes....I'd be interested to hear it.

Down one more pound....

Yey!

Laoise

:) Great job on the lb loss!

Thanks Mel, Im finally moving along on this diet thing....Its been a long time since I lost anything


I haven't been doing too good today as my grandmother passed away early last night. ....I did as usual turn to food for comfort but I plan to go back and start again tomorrow. Its funny how concentrating on food can allow you to brush things under the carpet so as you don't have to deal with them....

My poor granny, she was old and unhappy ever since my pop passed away five years ago....It was only fair that she pass away really but my dad is taking it badly,....its going to be a long weekend...

Anyway no more hiding behind the food

Back again tomorrow

Laoise

okay had such a bad day yesterday, ate all the wrong things in all the wrong quantities so today is a new day.........

Back on track and moving along over that diet bump.......

By the way, went on a date with a spanish guy,......not so sure about spanish men....they're very different to Irish men,....think I might stick to Irish guys for the moment...or polish ,...also a lovely race of men....

Back later

laoise

Laosie;

I am so sorry to hear of your grandmother, even if you've know it was coming, somehow it's always a shock. I am proud of you though, your realizations about your weight and healty lifestyle have been profound! Good for you! I had given up all refined wheat and all sugar completely, but somehow (probably becasue as you say, it's in everything!) both have crept back into my diet. Your extraordinary results are inspiring though!

Take good care Laoise, I'll be back again soon to say hi, and big hugs to you.
Suzi

(PS, nice new journal!)

Hi Lao, so sorry about your grandma. It's tough to lose a loved one. Hope you are coping well.

Good luck with the casting off of the wheat. I have thought about getting an allergy test...just never have gotten around to it. Are you finding good substitutes?

Oh, and good luck with the Spanish guy...or Irish, or a Pol, if you prefer. :D Hey, why not check out the options before choosing, eh? ha ha ha ha

Oh, Laoise...... I'm so sorry to hear about your gram..... It's so hard to lose someone you loved and it's doubly hard to watch your parents suffer over things like that. I hope everything gets better for you.

It's totally understandable that you'd turn to food for comfort. Just don't stay there too long or you'll be beating yourself up for it...... take care of yourself through all of this.

Let us know how you're doing when you can! Thinking about you and sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

Thanks a million for all your posts. The last few days have been hard for me but its lovely to hear from you and thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

The food has been a disaster but to be honest thats kind of secondary. That will all sort itself out. Apart from that though I had such a horrible weekend. My dads family are all really strange.. my parents split up years ago and they try and they forget my mum ever existed which is hard for me as we're so close. Plus after the funeral all my aunts and uncles left to go back to the city. That to me just seems so strange......In my culture you should stay at least until the day after the funeral if for no other reason than out of respect......But they all went back to my granny's house and started taking bits and pieces of things that they wanted and then left straight away.

They were talking about her will before they left the graveyard..... I have never felt so removed from my father and his family before and I am finding it hard to talk to him....without telling him exactly what I think .,....which would probably never forgive me for and probably not talk to me for a long time. I just felt they were grieving in a very selfish way....not thinking about my grandmother just about what they were getting out of it.....Am I crazy??

Anyway I stayed to pay my respects and sleep one more time in her home. I didn't take anything of hers except some old hats and a suitcase that reminded me of her...

Anyway seeing as its over now and I have to go back to college in the morning I should probably try and forget about it for the moment. Try and get my eating and excercize back on track in the morning and get on with it.....

SO now Im off to post in the journals

Laoise

That's so sad, Laoise....... when my gram died my mom's sister acted just like that. It was awful and I was ashamed of her attitude. But I guess everyone has to grieve in their own way and if having "stuff" makes them feel better then so be it. Like you, it's just not my way and the stuff left behind wasn't all that important. I remember this blue handmade teddy bear that my aunt had made my gram and a bunny doll..... the day after she died, a friend of mine came to see me (my gram lived with us), and my friend brought her little neice with her that didn't have a dad and who's mom wasn't fit to take care of her so the grandma had custody of her. Very sad situation and a very sweet little girl. She was 3 at the time and was so taken with the teddy and the doll that I told her she could have them. I never heard the end of that with my Aunt. She was livid that I gave away something that she made and wanted back. *rolling eyes* She wanted me to get it back and I told her I wouldn't take something like that away from a baby.... but that if she wanted it badly enough I'd give her their number and she could do it. She didn't want the number, needless to say.

I think you should do what feels right for you and not worry about the others. Maybe in time when the worst of your grieving is behind you, you can speak to your dad and set things right.

And you are right! Your food and exercise will fall into place...... think about how proud your gram would be knowing how good you are taking care of yourself. Maybe that will help you to get back on track and stay there.

Take care and I hope things go easy for you..... you're going through a difficult time right now and it's understandable to get through it however you can. But it's better to go through it rather than bury it and trying not to think about it. Vent anytime you need to! I'll be thinking about you......

Thanks so much Dj,
It really is so nice to be able to say the things that are on my mind to someone. Some times I think that I am just really difficult and that my family are the normal ones....but no, I dont think so really.

Anyway thanks again, I really appreciate the friendly voice and the support


Laoise

and just for the record tomorrow I really am getting back on track

Going for a jog,.......pray for me, ...im going to need it

Laoise\
]

hee hee hee...I'm praying! And I bet you made it! :D Are you back on your eating plan? Think of it this way, you might as well take care of yourself, even if stressful things are going on right now.

Too bad about your parents/fam acting poorly ... I mean, shouldn't this be a time to reflect and pay respect to the life of someone you all cared about? Well, if it's any comfort, many of the people I know who have been through this (including my own mum and her siblings) ended up in some sort of strange rift over the property of a loved one. or old issues, or whatever. It's a shame. The one thing you can do is rise above it yourself and try not to get too steeped in the mess of it all. Hang in there!

Take care, Iv

HI Iv,

I made it, I lugged myself around the whole park and sweat out all the toxins. When I got home I had to rest for so long before I could get up the stairs. But push on I will and I'l be back in the park in about two hours......Very determined to become one of those extra fit jogger types..

But keep those prayers coming Im gonna need them.

And thanks for the support on the family issues Iv, its been a really bad few days but Im trying to forget the way they acted, they seem to have already , so like you said rise above it.....the only way.

So for now thats it, I made some really good wheat free cookies yesterday ,...they were really nice,....delicioso!!! Will definatley be doing that again.


Back later

Laoise

Laoise

I am so sorry to hear about your grandma..I know the feeling..a few days ago my friend's gramdma died and everybody behaved just the same....He was really disappointed...

Well done for your effort...it really keeps us motivated...you know how to fight. :lift:

Good wheat free cookies ehh?mmmmmmmm!! could you give us the recipe please?? I would be honoured to taste them! :sweety: :o :hippy:

Well, it's my turn for jogging now!
Have a nice day
Aria

Don't you LOVE that feeling when you know you have purged a load of toxins out of your system? Oh WOW, you are a determined woman! Twice in one day, eh? Well, that's the way you will get this done. I hate those extra fit jogger girls...well, no, that's not true, I don't hate all of them. In fact, I admire the ones that are working their bums off and sweating it out. The ones I hate are just the ones in their little jog bras with the huge, um, "chest" that doesn't seem to move when they run, full make up, and perfect little curled pony tails. Oh good heavens, who ARE they? I have decided that perhaps there are actually some sort of airbrushed computer women, out there to hold us to the proverbial unattainable standard! ha ha ha Meanwhile, here I am with my sweaty t-shirt and hair pulled back in a bandana. lovely sight, indeed. 8-|

Keep up the good work! Won't be long and you, too, can be one of those super fit jogger types (just don't go ever in full makeup and curled hair, ok???) :D

Iv you make me smile,.......i think I wrote or you read my last post wrong,,....one time is enough for me in one day. And yes I do aspire to be just like the description of the perfect airbrushed jogger ,.....I don't think we have any of those in Ireland though....maybe due to the limited availablility and social acceptance of cosmetic surgery or maybe becuase its not warm enough...EVER.....to wear skimpy jogging outfits......???

Got up again this morning and did a round of the park with mine doggies....One of them is very enthusiastic and the other keeps lagging behind,,, so Im leanving the little one behind tomorrow.

Aria, I will post that recipie in just a second....they were good but I was using a fan assisted oven and the temp on the recipie was too high for it so they scortched, also didn't let them cool like the instructions said sooooo,.....they kind of crumbled ......but they tasted damn good!

Will go do some posting now and be back tomorrow....recipie in next post

Laoise

okay think I left the wheat free cook book in mams house so I will post it tomorrow,...think its based on barley flour, ground rice ,ground almonds , almond essence and mixed fruit ,..ooh and there's soy margerine in there, which you could replace with the low fat normal stuff I think ,...anyway will get back to that tomorrow

Laoise

Quick question,

Any tips on how to get through study time with out getting through the fridge at the same time?????


Studying must be my least favourite past time

Laoise

Had to come in and post a quickie,....Weighed in this morning at 149lbs.........It wasn't a goal or anything but it feels like such an acchievement as its the first time in so long that I've been under 150lbs.....


So yey!! And to celebrate I drove to a friends house for lunch, we chatted about boys (nothing changes) for a few hours had french onion soup for lunch , with ten cups of tea, and then came home ready to have a healthy family dinner and head out to work,....some times life sucks but sometimes it doesn't

Laoise

fruit and nut cookies......with specially translated american measurements just for you guys!!


1/4 cup polyunsaturated margerine
3/4 cup ground rice
1/4 cup ground almonds
3/4 cup finely grated eating apple
1/2 tsp cinnamon
3 tbs soft brown ( molasses) sugar, plus extra for sprinkling
few drops almond essence
1/2 lemon, grated rind of
1/3 mixed dried fruit

sunflower oil for dressing

preheat oven to 450 F

mix all ingredients except the oil together with a wooden spoon to form dough.
grease a baking sheet with oil and divide the dough into 10 pieces spreading with a knife
Bake for 20 minutes or until golden
Leave to cool for 10 minutes and then transfer to a wire rack with a spatula.

I changed the sunflower oil to the low cal spray stuff and it worked fine,....cut back on the fat



-----------------------------------

Had a really good day today.....walked for about 45 minutes to college and then when I got home I went for a run in the park and made two laps this time.

Also did some shopping,....oops spent lots of cash,...anyone heard of yves saint laurant total fitness???? Cost me 37 euros, It gaurantees that if you apply it to your skin twice a day you will loose a dress size in a month.....It has some ingredient that stimulates the fat burning cells under the skin,......Im giving it a try.....

Fingers crossed

Laoise

Laoise, you sound really motivated and very positive..... that's really great! And running two laps!! WOOHOO! I can't run anymore because of my knee being bad, but I used to love to run. My dog used to run with me and was so good about staying on the side of the road I wanted her on. She got to the point that when I would cross to the other side of the street, she just automatically got on the side I wanted her on. She's passed on now, but that's one of my fond memories of her. I have two dogs now that love to walk and would run if I would, but I can't.... and our youngest dog is a real puller.... my husband holds her lead when we walk or she'd pull my arm out of the socket! LOL

Thanks for the recipe..... sounds good. I like apples or anything with apples in it....

....good luck with your cream. I love Yves saint laurin products! I hope it does what you want it to. At any rate, it'll probably still smell good! :)

As far as eating when you study, it sounds like a habit you've gotten yourself into. Any chance you can study somewhere that there is no food? I know it would be a difficult habit to break, but it is possible. I know I used to always eat at bedtime after my husband went to bed, but gave it up and I'm really glad I was able to do that. One way was to set a cut off time for food - right now that's 8pm, but eventually will bring that down to 7:30. I don't know if that would work for you because you probably don't just study at night.

If you feel like you just have to eat when you study, get carrots and celery and things that won't do your weight any harm and crunch away on them.

But as positive as you are, I feel like if you set your mind to getting out of the habit of eating when you are studying, then you'll be able to do it! I've never known anyone Irish that couldn't set their mind to something and then be downright stubborn about it! lol I can say that because my granddad is from Ireland and he (and I) are the most stubborn people I know. :laugh:

Take care and have a good week! You are doing a SUPER job!!!

:cheer: wooohoooo! That is WONDERFUL to break another number! Isn't it amazing how much difference you feel between that pound labeled 49 and the one labeled 50? Cool -- it's good to celebrate.

As for the studying delima -- Deej is right -- the only thing to do is get yourself out of the habit. I used to have to go to the library and concentrate on my studies, then come back if I got hungry. It makes eating more of an event, rather than something to fill the boredom. Once you break the habit, it's not so bad. The other thing I used to do was keep sliced, washed vegies handy. It gave me something to munch on without so many calories. I wish I had that much discipline now...I could really use it. 8-| BTW, what are you studying?? Anyway, good luck!

TTYL, :rose:

Hi guys,

had kindof a bad day, I woke up with a really bad case of the munchies and just felt depressed all day, ate way too much of the wrong things. I think it was just tiredness, and the prospect of a long night in work this evening, and endless study deadlines,...(IM studying nursing Iv)

So I gave the jog a miss , just because I really don't feel up for it today,....but never fear , just a speed bump not a major mountain, and I can pick up the pace again in the morning,....oh so tired. Exams are my least favourite things in the world,..closely followed by studying for exams.....boo!

okay Im gonna go organise my notes....fun!

Laoise

That's exactly the same how I feel Laoise today...
I was tired all day long, feeling stressed and nervous but exhausted....

Felt a bit disappointed too...I hardly managed to keep my calories intake about 1250 cal...

Maybe we should blame it to the stars!!!

yuck aria, what a rotten day,

believe me , if my calories were at 1250 I would have been happy, they were well higher than that.....oh dear.

Anyway the day is gone and Im back on track, gonna go for a run later when I have time, and then big party tonight, its a meal too so I have to be careful,

Okie, back later to check on journals

Laoise

Hold in Laose
It's difficult though when you have a party...everybody pushes you to eat and drink and you have to refuse all the time or make up tricks for hiding the food....because if you tell them you are on a diet, they all have this "oh,what a pity" look ...it gets really tiring for me..
So, I have decided I tell nobody I'm on a diet...I'll just find ways to "disguise" it till the meal ends..

Laoise, congrats on beating 150! That's awesome! Keep it up!

Hi Mesla,
Thanks a million for the congrats, feels great to have gotton over a mental mile stone.,Trying for 140 next

Aria,
The party was great but, oh my gosh did I over do it on the points.....At the time it felt okay but when i think about it now, it was the wine that I went way over on....maybe four large glasses of white,...six points or something and then curry for the main course,...lots of rice maybe five points and then yuck, I better stop counting,...didn't have the cake thought,,....in my head I was still being good .

Anyway I will go for a jog to make up for it today,.....did a whole lap of the park yesterday without stopping for a breath.


OOOH and I nearly forgot,..I got the dj's number last night. I asked him for it at about eleven and he told me to come back at the end of the night. The girl at the table was hinting at it for ages and apparantly when he beckoned me over and I slinked across the dance floor to get it , the look on her face, though I didn't see it myself, was absolutley priceless.

I was so thrilled,...this girl was stunning,...but i guess it takes all types to turn the world ,...and my type is just as appealing to some as hers,...its nice to be reminded of that sometimes.....


Will go and check out the journals now,

Laoise

Just a quick question,

I just signed up to fitday after hearing so many good things about it.

But it doesn't give any guidlines on fat and calorie intake for my height and weight. It says that my calorie burning should be above my calorie intake. But according to the counter I burned 2700 calories jogging this morning....I can't eat that much though can I????? And can that be right anyway???


Help!!!

Laoise

If fitday mentions that you burnt 2700cal for the whole day including your jogging activity it may be true…
I don’t know for sure though….
Because , it can exaggerate on calories intake sometimes…that means you may think you have eaten 1100 calories and fitday says 1250 for instance…
In my opinion raising the number of calories eaten is not soooo bad…it prevents you from eating more…So, if Fitday shows 1250 but I have eaten in reality 1100 there’s no problem about that….

I use Fitday just to see the intake and what kind of intake should that be…fat,carbs or protein…It helps me have a picture of what I eat…It works so far…..we’ll see in the future…

Okay i went back today and it said i actually burned 7000 and something..... can that be right???? It seems riducluous!!!

I really don't understand it.

PS Aria, do you have a journal?? I was looking but could only see aria2000.....????

Laoise

Laoise I don’t have any journal…but you may join us at Aria’s 21 days challenge….I’ve started on 25th April.
I also count calories at “counting calories:post your April calories here”-you’re welcome to join too.
And of course we have our buddies’journal at “Sweetpea, Melissa , Shellbell and Aria’s way to health” come and visit us!

I’m not Aria2000 , it’s just a coincidence. ( when I subscribed I didn’t know about Aria 2000 , then it was too late to change my nickname as I had already posted)

Hope you stay on track…
Have a nice day
Aria

Hola,

Its been a while since I was in here, have been a very busy girl.......life is toughing up on me at the moment with college and exams etc,...plus work never goes away either. But I have bee doing my excersize every day...jogging for 20 mins and walking for an hour. And been sticking to my points too ,,...except for yesterday when i went a bit awol......but Im putting that behind me, another day another diet.

I hope everyone is well, will check on journals soon enough,

Laoise

Bank holiday weekend in Ireland and it was such a bad thing for me I haven't stopped eating. Something about living in my dads house depresses me and I just cant seem to stop. Im really hurting myself and I don't know what to do. At the moment I have nowhere else to go.....

I can move home in a week or two.

In the meantime Im undoing all my good work

Laoise

Try not to fret, laoise.... sometimes when I worry about my food like that, it causes me to eat even more. Can you take 30 minutes and sit down and write out a plan? Just make a plan for the rest of the week..... that way you won't have to think about food much - you just eat what you have on your plan. Sometimes I just need to see what I need to do on paper to give me that little extra something that makes me want to stick to it.....

You're doing great so far and this isn't going to wreck you. Just look forward from right now..... don't look back. It's over and you can put it behind you right now and start over. Remember that "you are one choice away from a new beginning".... choose to start right now and you'll feel so much better!

Take care and hope you have a good rest of your week!

but thats just it,. Im not one choice away from a new begining,...if I was then I've been there a million times over the last years. And the new begining never lasts.

I cant do it and its probably time I just let it go and faced up to what I really am

Laoise, in my opinion the important thing is to feel nice with yourself and to not push it to suffer something that it can't handle right now..

If I were you, I would just take a break, cause pressure by home seems hard, and just let myself taste whatever makes it happy - but in moderate portions..

Enjoy your food whatever it is, but beware of the quantities....it seems that you need a treat at this moment , so do have it , don't feel any guilt , just keep it under basic control..This way , it won't be hard for you to go on from where you stopped when you feel strong enough to do so...

We'll be here for you anytime. :)

THanks aria,
but Im tired of taking breaks and being forever on the verge of the new "journey to the new me". I don't know if it makes sense but I think I need to leave this behind and just get on with my life, I don't mean Im going to get really really fat or anything but i just can't put all my energy's into this part of my life where I continually knock myself down only to have to drag myself up from the dust again. I feel like im running on a treadmill thats on a really fast pace and the goal is just permanently out of my reach.

I don't want to do this anymore....I don't want to be a diet talker. I don't even want to be a diet thinker anymore.

I don't know what I want

Laoise

If you feel like you're 'dieting', you will always get tired of it.

Adjusting your lifestyle into a more healthy shape is forever. Choosing vegetables instead of fries when you're out, eating a piece of fruit for a snack instead of a chocolate bar, choosing the baked or roasted meat instead of fried or drenched in butter, walking to the store instead of driving, going out for a run when you wake up instead of lazing in bed for an extra 30 minutes. These are all things that are for life. Not that you can't or shouldn't indulge once in a while, but the over-all changes should become ingrained and easy to choose.

I will never eat fried chicken again. I'm OK with that. I will exercise 6-7 days/week EVERY week. I'm happy about that. If I choose to drink, it's one drink not three. It's once a month, not every weekend.

That's just the way life is for me. It's not like I sit there at a restaurant and gaze lovingly at someone else's meal. I truly _want_ the healthy foods now. I allow myself a treat once a week, I count the points and move on. (I'm doing WW, so I'm a point counter =) ). I choose to drink water. I like water. I do have other beverages (light hot chocolate every now and then, herbal teas, juice sometimes), but my baseline drink is water.

I don't even try any more, it's that ingrained. If you're not at that point, then you need to look at your lifestyle and see what you're willing to change and do that. If it means that you're always 5lbs higher than your goal weight, then that's a trade-off you have to choose.

Being healthy needs to just become your life, not a 'diet' to be suffered through and tolerated. =)

Just somethings to think about, I hope I haven't insulted or angered you at all. I really hope that you find peace with yourself and your life, that's the most important thing, in my opinion. =)

Hey Laoise;

I was just doing some catching up on your life these days and, well; let's see if I can say all of this in a post.

Okay, so I have this friend and though I've never actually met her -- she's simply amazing. She's going to school and she's working these crazy hours too. But through it all she keeps her sense of humor and this amazing vitality about her. And, as if that's not enough -- basically having two full-time commitments -- she's also trying to keep the balance in her life and have friends and date and, you know -- live her life. Well, as it turns out that on top of all of this she had to move back home with her dad for a while -- as a grown up -- can I just say wow -- that's never easy to do -- I mean -- no matter how much we love our parents its just so hard to "go home again" no matter how compelling or smart the reasons for doing so are.

Okay, so here's the thing that's really getting to me -- see -- as if all of this wasn't enough -- this amazing, smart, compassionate friend of mine has someone in her life that is really beating her up about her weight of all things. This person gives my friend such a hard time and makes her feel awful -- and with all that she's doing to make a wonderful life for herself this negative person makes my friend feel like giving up and that's just not right. What kind of friend would do this to my friend? I don't know, do you?

Okay, not elegantly said but do you see my point? That there is someone living inside of you that's hurting you, Laoise, and that person is you. Tommi said it best-- if you're dieting you will always get tired of it. What this is about is learning to take care of you -- to be your own best friend. Now, mind you, I know that this isn't easy -- but instead of beating yourself up over "failing" to stay on your diet -- take a look at the extraordinary stress you are under. Show yourself some compassion! Would you let a friend treat you the way that you're treating yourself? No!!! You'd INSTANTLY see the pain that person was causing you and you would defend yourself against them, but because this is coming from inside of you, its so hard to see and you can't defend yourself against your own worst enemy: you.

I know it’s hard but you can learn to defend yourself from that hypercritical voice inside you but you have to start thinking in a different way. You have to start seeing yourself for the amazing person that you are. I see you as a wonderful and talented and beautiful woman who is so full of energy and compassion. How do you see you?

You care for others so easily -- now its time to care for you. In the midst of all this stress find one way today that you can care for yourself and honor all that you do. Give yourself some respect. The beauty of this kind of thinking is that it can change everything because you're changing your perspective. It starts by being compassionate with yourself and then suddenly you realize that the food that you choose to put into your body is also about caring for yourself. And you begin to see the trap that the hypercritical voice laid for you -- because when you eat poorly you then have to beat yourself up over it and you're punishing yourself and then punishing yourself again. There's no way out of that cycle. But there is a way out -- you just have to put your foot down and realize that there are days when you're not going to eat well -- and you know what? There are damn good reasons for not eating well sometimes. Sometimes, by not eating well you're actually taking really good care of yourself.

Then, you start a whole new cycle where taking care of yourself becomes the focus-- not food -- and suddenly (as they say) it’s not the destination that matters anymore -- it’s the journey. You start eating well because it's what makes you feel good -- not because you're supposed to. Then -- you're no longer dieting and failing -- you're just living. It’s your life Laoise. Live it fully and well and don't let that critical voice inside you steal it away.

I know you can do this. I know you can.

Come on Laoise. We've got so much to do, baby. There is an amazing world waiting for us. So, put away the diet -- leave the mean voice behind. Let's build ourselves strong. Let's go play.

Suzi

Suzi, I don't know that I can answer you at the moment. But just.... well thank you. I don't think anything has made me cry like that in a long time,.. so let me come back when I have a little more composure.

Thanks

Laoise

Laoise..... Sorry I haven't been in here in awhile. I'm sorry to see that you're struggling within yourself like you are. That's such a difficult thing to deal with sometimes. I think all of us has been or might still be where you are right now regardless of how much we weigh or how much we want to lose. The feelings are all pretty much the same.....

I went back and forth in starting over, a new beginning, a fresh start, whatever you want to call it, for a lot of years. What made the difference for me was forgetting about dieting and just making healthier choices. Like Timmi and suzi said, it's more about a lifestyle change than dieting. Dieting has such a negative feel to it and something that we feel like we have to deprive ourselves on. But making healthier choices doesn't have to be like that or feel like that.

In looking at your stats you don't have all that much to lose. So besides the fact that you think you are failing at all these times you have started your diet over, you might not be dropping pounds like some of us are here simply because you don't have but less than 20 pounds to lose. The last bits come off a lot more slowly than the first bits. I know I'll get to that point as well....... but with all that said, when you are changing what you eat, the "head" needs to change as well. I had to really work at changing my thinking about food and how I looked at what I was eating and doing. Realizing that it's not failing if I don't stick to something I said I needed to do that's important.... what's really important is not to give up on something you know you really want. I felt like giving up so many times..... and in fact stopped even coming around here for awhile because I felt like such a failure and hypocritical of what I was telling people worked. But then I realized that I wasn't alone in my feelings AND that giving up wasn't the answer....... learning to show myself some patience and understanding and loving myself through it all was what I had to learn to go along with my food changes. Maybe that's why a lot of people call it a "lifestyle change" and not a diet. It isn't all about food..... it's about how we feel about ourselves and how we use food to define all that.

It takes time...... it takes much patience and it takes a willingness to "start over" whenever you need to. There's another saying that I really like and it SO described what I've done over the years that I needed/wanted to lose weight. And that is "I have NOT failed 10,000 times. I have simply found 10,000 things that do not work!" When you start to view what you are doing as learning what does and doesn't work for you, then you'll be less hard on yourself. That's what a large part of this journey is about...... learning what we are all about, learning what makes us want to eat when we aren't really hungry, learning about healthy foods and what's good for us and learning how to put all this knowledge into a package that works for us. Each of us is different, so your end result "package" will need to suit you and your lifestyle. And that's not something that necessarily comes to you all at once. Most everyone here has tried different things before they figured out a program or lifestyle that suited them.

I know you can do this...... I see so much of how I was in how you are right now. So please know that you can start again and if you never give up on yourself, you'll get to where you want to be - in your weight AND in your emotions.

The fighting and the turmoil that you are doing with yourself is a hard cycle to break. But it CAN be broken. I'm not nearly as hard on myself as I used to be. I still have a ways to go, but I am heading in the right direction these days. I can remember a time when I thought I would NEVER feel good about myself or anything I did. That will change as you start to discover what you need to do to be good to yourself.

It's funny how if you make one small change and see or feel a result from that, it makes you want to do more until one day you wake up and you realize you've developed a healthy lifestyle that you can live with and not only live with, but truly enjoy! It was nothing short of miraculous to me...... and miracles aren't out of reach for anyone. I know you can find yours..... it's waiting for you and will never give up on you. Just you don't give up on yourself!

Remember you are not alone.....

Laoise;

I wish I could give you a great big hug my friend -- I'm so sorry that I made you cry. I hope it was a good cry-- letting out all the harsh things you've been holding in -- a healing healthy cry. I guess we have to break down all of the old barriers before we can start to rebuild. I'm here for you my friend. :)

Suzi

Laoise -- forgot to tell you that I started a new journal too -- figured it was time, called "Hello World its me!"

Hi,

God this is hard. I feel so strange even being here. I had made up my mind to never come back. And then I got a reply notice in my mail box and couldn't help but check it. And it was you Suze. Man, you really know what to say to make a girl cry. I guess you just picked out my life the way it really seems to me at the moment. But i hadn't really thought about it in such entirity. Suddenly seeing my messy mind in your words just touched something inside. Suzi, I just sat and cried for a good 20 minutes.....and i can't say I was a changed woman straight away , In fact i went and ate a tub of ice cream.........

But I have been thinking of things differently.... Things just seem so hard at the moment. I hate living with my dad...and his my way or the highway attitude...im 21 not 12.

Anyway, I guess i started to feel proud of myself for keeping up with things and okay so my eating habits have gone out of control but I haven't lost control of my whole life, just that one little part of it.

So I don't know. I don't know where I go from here. It doesn't seem right to try and go back to how I was living before. I like how you put it DJ,..the 10,00 things that don't work for me....I just don't know what does work for me and god knows I've tried at least 10,000.

I got an email from a friend inviting me to her 21st and she's having a luau. What am I supposed to do about that???? I have eaten so much in the last couple of weeks that my wieght is way back up at my starting point. And she wants everyone in coconut bras and grass skirts?????

I feel like Ive done so much damage and I dont know how to work my way back through it.

But thats something Im going to have to work out myself I suppose. thank you for everything. I hope I can prove you right and just get up and have another go. I have been lying in bed for far too long so maybe today is as good a day as any to get out.

Laoise

Laoise..... don't worry about the coconut bras and grass skirts. Tell your friend that not even every Hawaiian wears those. Wear something else and be creative.... just make sure that you feel good in it. That's what is important... getting out and having a good time and feeling good about it! I know I have to make myself go out sometimes and even though my husband drags me kicking and screaming sometimes, I always feel good that we went somewhere and it helps me keep doing what I'm doing. It's like a "refresh" time and we all need that.

I so totally understand about living with a parent. My husband and I moved into my mother's house and took over the finances, etc. She couldn't afford to keep her house without us and being an only child and my dad is passed away, I felt guilty leaving her on her own. So here we are..... the three of us. lol It was harder than hard at first but it's gotten easier and we can actually enjoy each other now. Maybe that will happen for you or maybe your situation will just make you more determined to do what you have to do to get out on your own. Either way, you can make it work.

Take care of yourself and good for you for coming back and realizing that you're really doing okay! Thanks to your friend suzi for that nice message she gave you.

MOrning, just came online to check out times and locations for the nearest weight watchers meeting. I've been to it before in a different location and yes I know it didn't work then. But i think the framework is right just the way I think around the framework is wrong. Anyway Im hoping it will give me the push I need to get back up and in the race....

Thanks again for all your advice and for not letting me slip into that dietalkiing abyss that some people slip into.

Dj, I was thinking about something more creative than just my bare belly for this party and im working on something so hopefully it will work out and save me from baring all

Suzie, I will come and take a gander at your new journal in just a second. HOpe your well

Thanks

Laoise

Good for you, Laoise..... if nothing else, it will make you feel better just doing something for yourself! I think going to meetings might just be the thing for you. You'll be around others who understand and maybe you'll meet someone that you can call when you need to as well.

Good luck on your costume! I'm sure you'll look great!

Hey Laoise;

Whoo hoo! You go girl! Weight watchers -- grass skirts and co-co bras! What matters is that you're having fun or for now, in lieu of that, at least making room for yourself. You make think I'm daft but I think its a great thing that you ate a tub of ice cream and I hope it made you feel better. If I was there I'd give you a great big hug and offer you a cookie to go with it. And, I hope you put on that coconut bra and grass skirt and laugh your self silly and have some fun for a change. I am so sorry that its been so rough for you lately but I am so glad that you came here to talk about it. I've spent a lot of time with my boys Ben and Jerry and sometimes they're are just what it takes to get through. And I've also had to put up with a "my way or the highway" dad and that is really hard. So, the thing to remember is The thing is, when you feel better, you'll do better. So, its how to get you back to feeling better that's the real question. Its all about taking care of you and I am so glad that you're thinking is changing. It does take time, but the first step is listening to that voice inside your head and questioning it. After all, it doesn't know everything.

I promise that I'll be back in a day or two -- in the mean time know that I am absolutely thinking of you and sending care and warmth and really funny thoughts your way! I am so glad that I know you Laoise, you really are inspiring to me -- so full of courage and strength. Thank you so much for sharing that with all of us here.

See you soon

Morning,

okay well I never made it to weight watchers.....I will but at the moment study is first....

However I did buy a pedometre and Im on my way out the door to do some early morning jogging. Its nine over here -does that count as early morning???

Anyway thanks for all your good wishes. I think Im back on track now and ready to get back to being healthy....

I will come back later to check journals. A day full of study ahead of me....yey!

Laoise

Good for you that you're back on track! Woo hoo! :bd

OK, so the birthday thing was a joke but you know what I mean. =)

I'm a fan of early morning running, too. I love how the world is just much more quiet and peaceful then. I should go right now, in fact! But I hurt my heal in my baseball cleats last night and I need to hobble over to the drug store for some insoles at 9 (2 hours from now, when the store opens).

Good luck with your studies and remember that taking breaks and walking for a bit is good for studying. =) The increased oxygen will help you remember what you studied. =)

Hey Timmi,

HAve no idea what cleats are but my deepest sympathy anyway :) I've be doing mighty with the jogging........I did a mile this morning....which for me feels so hard. I hear people talking about doing 6 miles before breakfast but thats a bit away for me at the moment.

Made myself a really healthy breakfast today, Raspberry and banana smoothie....and it was good!!!! oh yeah!

100g raspberries
1 medium banana
Tbsp porridge oats
200g really low fat natural bio yogurt
Tbsp rice milk- to make it a little watery

It came up to 4.5 ww points.

So im doin good so far

Back later to chat more

Laoise

Good morning, Laoise! Your breakfast smoothie sounds really yummy! I got stuff to make a fresh fruit salad for dessert tonight at dinner. I'll have to try a smoothie one of these days.

Cleats are little nubs or metal pointy things that come out of shoes to help people to keep from slipping. Golfers have them and baseball/softball, although you don't have that over there..... footballers use them, too. (real football as American football....lol although they probably use them, too...)

Hope you are having a super day! It's beautiful here at the moment after an awful thunder storm and LOTS of raining! And they say it's on it's way again....I want to try to get the rest of my running around done before the storms get here again. We have a little "lake" of excess water in our side yard at the moment. I have a feeling it's about to become a BIGGER "lake" real soon! lol

Take care and keep on doing what you're doing. You sound up and that's always a good way to feel!

I only did 3 miles yesterday instead of 5 or 6, but I'm just really glad I got out there. I was so close to just lying in bed all day. You should be glad that you got out there and ran at all! Think of the vast majority of people in the world that wouldn't have even bothered. You're one of the few that chooses to make a difference. =) Go you! =)

Aghh,
three miles.....if I could do three I would be so happy. But so far 0n and a half is my limit so Im gonna aim for two. All in good time.

I think I've seen 'cleats' before but I've never heard of them called that before.

Anyway my exams begin on monday so I have so much to do. excuse me for being slack on my journal surfing but I promise to be a better diettalk citizen very very soon

And Timmi good job on those miles........keep it goin.....im impressed

Laoise

You should increase your miles slowly or you can get stress/strain injuries. I hurt my heel so I think I'm going to go back to 3 miles on a regular basis and work my way back up slowly. I think for Euro 'football' they refer to them as 'boots'. At least, that's what they called them in _Bend it Like Beckham_. =)

Hey don't be inverted comma-ing me on the Euro "football" . That melon shaped excuse for a football that you lot use is , in actual fact, a rugby ball!!!!!


:shrug:

But yes we do call them boots.

Anyway if your looking for a real sport you shold check out a real game,....try Gaelic football...now theres a sport.......or hurling.....you don't know what your missing!

as for the mileage ;im going to take your advice!! Will update you on my progress

Laoise

Eek,

First exam is tomorrow at two. I am fairly unprepared but its too late now....though I am about to embark on a cramming session to end all cramming sessions......

I am staying away from the snack foods though. And I just ran a good mile so I should be okay,

Body..... ready,..brain ...ready, jar of coffee.....ready!!!!

Heh, im gonna be a study freak!!!

Wish me luck

Laoise

Exercise is great for studying, it gets your adrenaline pumping and it breaks the monotony of just sitting there. ;)

Good luck tomorrow! Make sure you get some sleep tonight, that'll help more than an extra hour of cramming. Or so studies say. =)

Good luck on your exam tomorrow! And congrats on the exercise. I agree with Timmi, it helps! :)

Okay exam over,...sigh of relief,...actually I don't think it was as bad as i thought it would be. I was really nervous. The question carrying the most marks was one that I was well prepared for so I think I passed okay.

And I am so proud of myself for eating within my points even through the stress. Because last week I would have eaten four or five days worth of points easily.

Anyway Im taking your advice timmi and getting some sleep tonight and then up early to study for wednesday's exam....the psychology of health care....yuck!

By the way, do you have a journal??? I was looking out for it but didn't see your name.

Okay exam over,...sigh of relief,...actually I don't think it was as bad as i thought it would be. I was really nervous. The question carrying the most marks was one that I was well prepared for so I think I passed okay.

And I am so proud of myself for eating within my points even through the stress. Because last week I would have eaten four or five days worth of points easily.

Anyway Im taking your advice timmi and getting some sleep tonight and then up early to study for wednesday's exam....the psychology of health care....yuck!

By the way, do you have a journal??? I was looking out for it but didn't see your name.
And thin,...nice to talk to you, its good to see new faces....

Going to do some journal surfing now

Will drop by tomorrow,....after my jog.. : )

Laoise\

Not sure how that happened.....

No, no journal for me. =)

I'm far too mysterious. :ninja:

How wonderful that you stayed within points. =) You're inspiring me to do the same even though I have unhealthy thoughts about ice cream today. :c(

Mysterious?? :shifty: I see. Well then I guess I wil just have to advise you to stay away from Ben and Jerry from my own journal........I learnt who ben and jerry were last week from suzi blue eyes!

Anyway Im up early ireland time to get some study done so thought I would get all my distractions out of the way before I settle down. Im also going to the supermarket to buy healthy snack food as I will be alone with a house full of rubbish food all day.

How does salad and fat free thousand island dressing sound????/

Well either way it will have to do

See you later no doubt

Laoise

I had a 1 point snack cup of unsweetened applesauce instead of ice cream. Whee! =)

I need to get out for a run soon but I feel like I'm trying to swim through pudding. Just heavy, slow and tired. Maybe I'll do yoga first to energize myself. =)

Good luck today! I'm having steamed asparagus for my veggies today, so a salad would fit right in. =)

Well Timmi,

YOu gave me your ice cream craving. YOu ate applesauce and I ate vienetta ice cream.

I hope your proud.

I can't wait till these exams are over and I can get back to work. I don't feel the need to eat at work.


During study however, I try and do anything but study,....hence the reason for my constant dropping in to DT

Anyway Timmi, good luck with the yoga...I was never any good at that,. How bout swimming instead of running........its low impact.... or swimming through pudding could be good...what kind of pudding?? NO stop,...your such a bad influence,...pudding ice cream...where will it end??

Must concentrate now....no more distractions

Laoise

PS,..wish me luck in my exam

Sorry about the ice cream craving. Didn't mean to hang you out to dry there. ;)

I really shouldn't eat ice cream anyway since I'm allergic to milk and my body doesn't appreciate my indulgences. =)

I did manage to run so whee! =) Oh! And I found cherries at the fruit and veggie market up the road. Yay! I really love cherries, if you hadn't noticed. ;)

I'll keep sending positive thoughts for good exam scores!

No you shouldn't eat ice cream,...and is that whee.....yey me I ran lots or whee,...my chest hurts????

IM not a cherry kinda girl!! I like cherry flavoured stuff like yogurt, and that stuff you call jello....but is actually called jelly,..which is what we call jam,.....what are you lot like????

Anyway as you can see the study isn't going to well, but keep up the postivie energies, im needing all you have!!

Laoise

Whee is a good thing. =) I'd be going *pant pant wheeze* if it were bad. ;) And I DID have one of those days about a week ago. Oh man. For some really dumb reason, the last 5 minutes of my 65min run was uphill! What was I thinking?? Who wants to run for an hour and THEN run up a freaking hill?!?

I'm jealous that you're in Ireland! My husband and I went to London for a vacation last summer and we both wish we'd planned a weekend or so in Ireland as well. Ah well, maybe next time. =)

Luck! Luck! Luck! =)

Its nice here, but London is great. And your better off to come for longer than just a weekend. Otherwise you might only see Dublin, and the countryside is where you want to be,...you know the usual stuff, cows and hay stacks....Anyway its not going anywhere so take your time

Stayed up till two in the morning trying to get this stuff into my head,.....started studying early in the day...... Im kinda of tired now but I think I know enough to go into the exam now......

No running for me today,......(Good job on the uphill by the way)



Will make up for it tomorrow

In the mean time I'l eat better today,

Luck better be working

Laoise

OK, sending good luck thoughs Ireland-ward from Toronto. =)

I have WW this morning, so wish me some luck when you're done with it. ;)

hiya...
i hope its okay to post in your journal...
hope you do really well on your exams!!
and i know about ben and jerry's ice cream...
its hard to go to tesco's and not get one..there so addictive LOL
but i give in once and a while :)
i never been to ireland yet..i heard its nice over there... :D

God what a sh*te exam........complete crap. But its over....fingers crossed I passed.


But i was so proud of my dietting stress coping skills. At one point I was standing in front of one of those machines...the chocolate bar machine,...and then I walked away and that was it .......yey, So I had sushi ,...brain food before I went in to the exam and then had a stir fry just now when I got home......good food,.. I even have a weight watchers point left for a biscuit with my tea!!!


Timmi, I hope your meeting goes really really really well, YOu deserve it....I can tell. Let me know how it went.

And swirlsweet..of course come by any time,..its nice have new people come in,....it gets lonley sometimes......

And as for tescos...have you ever had they're crab sticks?? MMMMM. I have to avoid the ice cream isle,...and the pizza isle....and the crisps isle..........

Okay thats me done for now,...im going to bed for two hours or so to catch up on sleep and then I gotta get back up to study for my biology exam......sigh.

Laoise

And swirlsweet..of course come by any time,..its nice have new people come in,....it gets lonley sometimes......

And as for tescos...have you ever had they're crab sticks?? MMMMM. I have to avoid the ice cream isle,...and the pizza isle....and the crisps isle..........


crab sticks? no much of a sea food person...
i like crisps but i am not a big crisp eater anyways...but i do buy wonderkins lights ..there half the fat...and there only 96 calories for each bag..and like really low fat...so its not that bad... :)
pizza isnt bad...but its healthier to buy your own..cuz u know how much of what your putting in it...not a big ice cream fan either...but sometimes i have to have my ben and jerrys LOL...
hope you did well on your exams :)

Hello my friend,

I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I can imagine that losing a son would take the wind out of her. Love and hugs to you.

On another note - you are doing GREAT my friend. I am very proud of you/happy for you. BTW, what kind of allergy test did they do?

You now how hard things are for me right now, that's why I haven't been around checking up on you. Plus, I didn't know you had a new journal and was not subscribed...

I'm still here though.

Hey listen an,
You know there is no pressure on you to come in here at all. You know where I am and I know where you are yada yada..... Its nice to hear from you sweetheart but I know things are tough at the moment so take it easy

And thanks for the condolences, I think I realise how much I miss her more as time goes on but I know she is far happier where she is now.

kay this has to be a short one,...gotta study

Laoise

Ps,

Swirlsweet,

talking food, have you tried those Solero fat free ice creams???? My God they are good, and only one weight watchers point.....I have no idea how they did that but I thank them for it every day

Laoise

Hey Laoise!

Wow! you are doing GREAT! What a couple of weeks you've had though. I totally sympathize with the pressure of exams but I am so proud of you for sticking it out and taking such great care of yourself. Ohh ice cream! Okay, I am just completely wiping that thought out of my head! You know, I am hooked on a breakfast smoothy too -- I use tofu in mine though, and soy milk and frozen berrys so its really creamy and cold and when I get an ice cream craving I have one of those. (Yeah, well not always! :O )

BUT, I love that you're out there running and getting exercise. I have been far too lazy Laoise! So, I'm going out right now to do get some exercise. Its been forever since I've been running so I know it will be the start slow -run/walk/wheeze/wheeze/walk/beat-self-up-for-being-sissy/run/run/wheeze/collapse kind of thing but, hey, what else have I got to do!??

Thanks for the great inspiration to you and to Timmi -- I'll let you know how it goes and post miles/wheeze-counts later in my journal. :shrug: Hope your weekend is a good one and that you're finding some great way to takecare of yourself after the stress if exams!

Suzi

Hi,

Well I only have one exam left now, so no destressing just yet Suzi, but then they're all over. I just can't wait to have some time to myself to just relax. You know what I really can't wait for?????


To read a book!!! NOt a Sociology book or a Psychology book or a Biology or nursing studies book,....just a book. A novel. I think Im gonna join a book club too. What a nerdy thing to do but I wan't to so Im going to. And oh, yey!! Im gonna go and buy pretty summer clothes. The weather is getting nice, even by Irish standards, so I can't wait to be all summery again.

Actually had a bit of a blast from the past last night. My x-boyfriend rang and asked me to meet him for coffee some day next week,.....what to do what to do....Thing is it was one in the morning and he was really drunk and in a night club in the city......never agood time or place to ring your ex but how and ever,....

I really hope its a " your too good a friend to loose so lets stay in touch" conversation......please god let that be all. Not in an ex boyfriend place. well not that ex boyfriend anyway.

Having a night out on Monday and my newest interesting young man will be making an appearance so fingers crossed for that one,...what to wear??????

Oh I can't wait for summer and boys and freedom again.



But Suzi,....what are you thinking tofu in a smoothie.......yuck yuck yuck!!! Seriously,....yuck!

I let you repent your sins....

Okie dokie gotta go

Oh by the way did 3 ...not 2...laps of the park today,...go me !

Laoise

Good luck on your last exam - what subject is it in? And then F*R*E*E*D*O*M!!!! Wooo-hoooo. Watch out Dublin ~ here comes Laoise! You have been doing such an awesome job of changing your approach to your life and everything; that's how we know it will stick longterm. I am so happy for you.

Do tell me though; when you had your allergy tests done, how did they do them? They weren't blood tests were they? I'm curious for personal reasons...

Things are starting to balance out for me and I am STILL wanting to get back to a journal of my own, but likely won't until after the hernia surgery next month. I'll be stopping in to see you though!

Cheers,

Hi an,
How are you keeping????? You know the journal forum isn't going anywhere so take you time and don't jump back in till your good and ready. I hope your concentrating on getting all your strength together before next month!!!!!


Anyway its nice to have you drop in and see me, I miss you sugarplum!!!

So today I went to the library for a major cram session, and now Im home and ready to go at it again for another few hours.....here's to hoping I get it all done. Food went fairly well today, so hopefully I'll be able to keep that up......NO I know I will I don't need food to fill a hole that isn't really there. How philisophical!!!

Anyway sorry but have no time to journal surf today, hope everyone is well. Tomorrow is my freedom day. At four o clock I will be well gone outta that exam hall!!! Yuck. And then trinity can kiss my ass goodbye for the summer, yey!

Okie gotta go

Laoise

Good luck for tomorrow! Remember, fish is brain food so if you get a chance to have some for lunch tomorrow, it can't hurt. %%-

Now thats not a bad idea,...I LOVE fish, maybe I'll have baked salmon for breakfast????? With grilled tomato's and mushrooms and a big mug of tea,........ahhhhhh. Sounds like a plan. However right now i feel like tomorrow is never going to come,...this essay is driving me mad..

The topic is Discuss the sociological perspective that stages of the lifecourse, such as childhood and older age are socially constructed......

Now tell me that sounds like a bag of fun



Laoise

Actually, it does sound like fun. =) Then again, I did a sociology degree in university. Thus, I'm a sociology dork and find those kinds of things amazingly interesting. =)

If you need any help brainstorming ideas, let me know. My mind is already working through the idea in my head. See? Now THAT is dorky. =)

Good luck with the essay and take some time to run or walk or get outside and breathe. It makes you more productive. =) Unlike my laundry plans for the day. ;)

Actually it sounds like fun to me too, but I also was one of those students who was irritatingly interested in stuff like that. I would look at diverse cultures and how their life stages contrast from those in the 'Western World'... Let us now how it goes.

I'm going to ask you once more honeybun; what kind of allergy tests did you have done? Was it bloodwork or eliminating and then introducing each food for days at a time to gauge your body's reaction, or what?

Here's looking at you to ace the final!

Cheers,

Hey,

I have to admit I gave that essay a good crack, and I got really into it. I chose to look at it on a culture and timeline level, and I compared the treatment of the older person in Japan and in Ireland over time. It was pretty good stuff I think.....lets hope it pays off.

Okay darlin' guess I should really spill the beans on my allergy testing thing!!!! The suspense seems to be killing you!! :D

It was this machine with a metal probe attatched to a wire. He put a battery into the machine, to test how body reacted to that material ,...kind of as a base for comparison. He tipped the metal end of the probe against my cuticles and it would make a low groan if my body was tolerant and a high one if it was intolerant. Then he put philes of samples of other substances in, in place of the battery and went through about a hunderd of them. So there was no pain, and the results were instantanious. However I found them very broad....he told me I was intollerant to tomatoes, wheat, dairy chocolate, sugar and maybe one or two other things. But he told me that everyone is intolerant to some of those things....so I don't really believe that it is a real individual assessment.


But I'l leave that up to you to decide.

Okay so at the moment I am free, no college, no exams and no work for a while. My feet are killing me from walking so much the last few days,...I was walking into college to clear my head before the exam and its an hour and a half long walk,,, at a good fast pace,....so they're all blistery, and not in any fit state for jogging but, hopefully tomorrow. As for tonight Im thinking a video and a book,.....

Food intake is good, so Im happy with that.

Gonna go and wash my car now, so I'l be back in tomorrow to journal surf, hope everyone is well,

Lots of love

Laoise

Woo hoo! Summer break is here! =) Rest the blisters! I had one once and it really sucked. Of course, I'm kind of a wuss but still...

I hope your car is nice and shiny and you had a wonderful day. =)

Laoise..... sounds like you really did a good job with the essay! Sounds very interesting! Sorry I haven't been in here as much as I've wanted to, but after our performance season is over in a week and a half, I'll get in here and get caught up with everything you've been up to. I'm looking forward to having more free time!

I've never heard of that kind of allergy testing, but it's been a long time since my kids have been tested. I'm needing it, but have been procrastinating getting it done. I finally made an appointment and then cancelled it the day before. LOL Oh, well.... there's still time....

Take care of those blisters! I hate hate hate blisters! If they have water in them, just prick them with a needle and let the water out..... then rub over them with witch hazel or rubbing alcohol or better yet tea tree oil, if you have any or can get some. Just be careful when rubbing and try not to peel any of the skin off of them. That skin provides as a protection against the raw part while that is healing. They won't hurt as much then.

Have a great rest of your day and hopefully I'll be able to check back in sometime in the next few days. Make it a good one!

WOW..... are you still washing your car?? You must look prune-ish by now! *grin*

WHERE ARE YOU?? I miss reading what's going on in your life..... come back soon!

Oh dear! I didn't realise it had been so long, I had to really go searching for my journal. To be honest I haven't been feeling like writing over the last days. Although life is good at the moment.

College is finished, and i met a really nice guy who is treating me like a superstar, and although Im not jumping the gun I think there really is something in it. So between that and work I have been totally self absorbed. Sorry!

Dietwise Im being good,, and I just finished reading this book called the confessions of a reformed dieter which was really inspiring and a little eye opening. Aswell as that I started going to the gym two days ago and Im working out....who would have thunk it.....

So thats, thats what I've been doing with myself...exam results are out in a few weeks too so Im waiting for those......and tonight I've got a barbeque to go to.. Tomorrow is a date with my new guy. He took me out for dinner on wednesday.......he's a door opener and seat puller,.....bless!


Okie gotta go and do some long overdue surfing...of the journal kind...oh and yes my car is very shiny now!!!

See you later

Laoise

Hi!

I'm happy for you about;

*going to the gym
*the new guy (you certainly have a knack for meeting men!)
*school being out.

Me? Recovering from hernia surgery. I don't recommend getting a hernia as the surgery/recovery is intense. Surgery went well - the Olympic Torch actually passed RIGHT BY the window where I was having surgery WHILE I was having it; you know me ~ I took it as a 'symbol'. 'Rocky' (Sly Stallone)was carrying it! I came out of the anesthesia saying, "I FEEL GREAT!" and was so relieved it was all over, but later I started shaking like crazy from anesthesia (they say that happens to young, healthy muscular people who are metabolizing it quickly - none of those descriptions fits at the moment!). That day was easy and I thought I was home free, but the next am I fainted twice (kept losing consciousness - the anesthesia again the possible culprit) and I had to be rushed to the emergency room in a fire truck. Scary stuff. Now two mornings later, I'm just recovering bit by bit...


Oh well, the hard times usually proceed the good ones, right? After this year, I should have lots of amazing things just waiting for me (and I actually do).

Yay you for coming back! I was wondering if you'd, like, fallen off a cliff or something. ;)

I'll do an extra half mile on my next run in your honour. =) And woo hoo on the nice guy! I am thankful every single day that I found my husband. He's, quite honestly, the best ever. =)

hello there, dear Irish friend!

Happy to see you around :)

Leeeeeesh!!!!!!

Hey, I have been a bum the last few weeks too...so much summer stuff going on that it was DIFFICULT to get to the computer. But, it sounds like you have been using your time wisely!!! MMMMMMM, a cute boy treating your like a superstar? Lovely. And a great way to shed a few pounds too, eh? :D What variety are we sampling this go? Have a GREAT time! Take care of yourself, and keep the diet in check while you have fun....

Talk to you later -- Rose

Hi guys,

YOu lot are so good to me,

I bum off for ages and your still here for a chat, But im trying my best to get in here as often as I can, my computer at home is bust so thats why its that bit harder at the moment. So yeah things are good right now. This guy is on date number three! and so far so good. Just one little thing is bothering me. You see , Im all for taking things nice and slow but I haven't even gotten a little kiss yet. Is date three too early to expect kiss? If I don't got one on date four then there probably won't be a date five. Harsh????

But he really is so sweet, opens doors and pulls back chairs and always sends me a text message after he's left me home to thank me for the evening. But can a guy be too nice????

Here's the low down anyway. He's 24 and an animator, he's funny cute and a little shy, well maybe a big bit shy, but on'es he opens up hes a real talker, but a real listener too.......

Anyway were going to the pictures on friday, so we'll see how things go.....oh and one other thing, his friends are my friends and his sister is a good friend of mine so it could be really awkward if things don't work out.....ack!

Diet wise im on a no go but not really bothering all that much. i've kind of stopped caring so much, that could be a good thing i guess. A nurse up in the hospital where I work says i have non purging bulemia, which kind of upset me but I've been reading up on it and it was like looking in my diary. So I suppose thats kind of serious. but I don't know what to do about it. ????

As for you lot, thanks so much for keeping my afloat, I'l be back tomorrow for a goo at your journals.....

All my love
Laoise

A, hows the tummy holding up??????? I know such an invasive surgery can be hard to get up from. But you know you had the olympic flame so thats gotta be a good sign right???? :)

anyway darlin Im thinking of you and will hunt your journal down tomorrow

Lots of love

Holmes

Honey pie,

Can a guy be too nice? OH, yeah! But he could also REALLY like you and so be scared. Guys are human too. A kiss on date four WOULD be nice. Perhaps you could give him some signals that it's okay for him to 'make a move'. You know, touch his arm a lot and have good eye contact when you're talking; lean in a lot! You're a flirty young whippersnapper, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about... I wouldn't worry too much about the awkwardness with friends in common. If you're both nice people (and you are) it'll work out if it's right, and if it's not right, you're at the age where you'll be learning how to make that transition OUT of dating more graciously. You can do it Holmes.

Also - and this is just my opinion - I wouldn't get all caught up with labels that others give you. Non-purging bulemia? Isn't that what nearly 100% of overeaters are? What you can do about it is what you have been/are doing about it. You've found a supportive community here at DT, you've learned about nutrition (the effects that wheat and sugar have on you) and bit by bit you'll discover what works for you. I know that it can work for you because it did for me. I worked really hard and I now weigh over 15 lbs. less than I did (at 5 1 1/2, that is significant) and have my eating thing at a really healthy, comfortable place and I was actually anorexic and an overeater at different points in my life. All I need is to work out and tone up as I recover from all of this health nonsense this year.

The Olympic Torch. :) Yeah. :) I am into symbols. It's all going to be good - eventually. I have a postitve attitue, I know I am in the midst of the HUGEST life transformation, and that's not always easy, but you just watch. Amazing things are going to be hapening. Oh, and don't bother with my journal - for now I only write in yours. In a few weeks I'll start one up again (I keep threatening that, and then something else comes up, but I really think that I've moved past the hardest part now.)

We're there for you Laoise. Hugs,

mmmmm....nice boys.... I say wait til date 6 before writing him off. Nice guys are few and far between and his attentiveness shows he cares about more than getting a leg over. It's a good thing.

non-purging bulemia? What a load of nasty nappies! ( I hold a healthy disdain for most "labels.")

happy to see you :)

Agh,
I feel so much better now.....I was so upset when I was told that I had bulemia,....she said I was in denial and thats what I couldn't really see the severity of my life style. And although there is some truth in that its not really as black and white and....well I feel sane......and it didn't make me feel any better knowing that there is a label for what Im doing.....

Especially seeing as she had no real solutions to offer to the problem she labelled.....ack,.......who cares really.


Far more interesting was date number 4....Guess who got kissed.....!!

We saw eternal sunshine of the spotless mind,...which I really liked a lot, and then at the end just when I thought my advances we're going unnoticed....WHAM!!! hee hee,...

So date number five should be something to look forward too.

Such a nice boy

And An, drop in and keep my updated I love getting your mail, . I know neither of us are as active on the dt board as we were but I still love to hear from you and as soon as your journal is up and running I will be your first subscription,....until now my journal is your journal so come say hi!!!

and hey Jess, nice to see ya! Hows she cuttin???

Back soon

Laoise

Yay! I love dates. =) Especially ones with kissing. =)

Haven't heard you this excited about a guy in along while, and even when you were, there were doubts - so YIPPIE for this one and date 5. I want to see ETERNAL SUNSHINE. It looks really good. I also want to see THE TERMINAL when it comes out, and you know politico me, I want to see FARENHEIT 9/11; don't know if you've heard of Michael Moore's film over there in Ireland yet... But first I have to get better from the hernia so as I can get to the darn theatre. Ah, it's happening bit by bit.

That woman who labeled you really gets my goat. Don't you just love people who are trying to be 'helpful'. Wish they'd mind their own business! Look, you're not throwing up, right? So you don't have bulemia. You binge. Well, you've read other journals here at DT - most of us have done so and that's why we're here. Go read some of the journals from folks who have overcome it and come to the board to help their maintenance, etc. If you want to change your lifestyle re: eating - you will, step by step.

Anyway, I'll be back to read about the next date. Vicarious thrills as I sit here recovering, you know?

Hugs,

semantics.

Some call it "overeating"--others call it "bulemia." I'm guessing this coworker isn't a psych/specifically eating disorder specialist? And I'm guessing you didn't go up to her expressly to get diagnosis and help? Pffffft, phooey on her "label."

ANd WooooHooooooo on The Kiss! so happy to see it! SO The gentleman may be a keeper :) good news!

Hey, Laoise..... sounds like you have some pretty exciting things going on in your love life! You mentioned working out and going to the gym and it made me smile, because I was always more faithful to doing those things when the old endorphines from that love bug hit me! *grin* He sounds like a great guy and I hope things work out for you. Glad you got your kiss, too..... my husband is Welsh and he's very shy (not with me anymore but in the beginning he sure was....) But he's a real gentleman and treats me like a princess and even though sometimes I wish he woulnd't cause I don't feel like he should all the time, he waits on me and does things for me no other guy ever has. And when I tell him he doens't have to do all those things for me he says it's his job. Almost always he has a smile on his face and is there for me always...... sounds like this guy might be the same type. That would be wonderful for you! There's something to be said about the "nice guy"...... and it's all good! Enjoy yourself!

As far as the remark that this nurse made to you, I wouldn't put much stock into it. a "non purging bulimic" is an overeater..... whether you choose to call it a compulsive overeater or whatever you want to call it, unless you are purging, I wouldn't worry about it. The only reason there is a "non purging bulimic" label is that people who don't purge will get rid of the calories by excessive exercise (which is exercising for hours and hours in a day's time) or fasting for long periods of time after they have a binge. I don't see any of that in you... and really that's not a nurse's place to diagnose someone anyway, so I wouldn't put much stock in what she says. Maybe she's just a bit jealous that you are starting to work out and eat healthy and now you've got a man in your life, etc. I know some alcoholics like your nurse..... they think if you drink at all, you MUST be an alcoholic. Not true in the least.... so maybe she's just trying to make herself look smarter than she obviously is. lol At your expense..... not very nice!

You're doing well, Laoise..... don't let someone else label you. What you think about yourself is the most important thing and other people's labels can really screw with your head if you let them. Don't do that to yourself. You've come too far to regress now.

Keep up the great work! I think you're doing awesome!

OOOOOOOOH Leesh...I am a big fan of the date with KISSING, et al.!!!! Ya gotta have a little heat to make it interesting, right? And a nice guy to boot? Hmmm...this might be a fun new experience. Hey, I've been married to my DH for a while now...I deserve to live vicariously on occasion, no? ha ha ha

On the "non-purging-bulemia" thing...what the heck is that code for? Eating too much? I don't get it. To be honest, if it is code of "eating too much" my first thought is: well, DUH...does she think we all got this way consuming lettuce leaves? And who needs the label? Unless a condition is actually serious enough to warrant a label...it just seems a bit harmful to me. Tell her to put a sock in it, on my behalf, if you please. :D

Have a great weekend!

:peace: --Rose

Okay Anastacia and Timmi, sorry to ruin the perfect date imagery but date five sucked and I kind of told him I didn't want to see him any more.....how did it go from perfect guy to perfect for someone else just not me......?????

But ,...I did have fun and you know me , most of the fun is in the chase....just when I caught this one he wasn't worth keeping. Anyway onwards and upwards,..have my eyes on a young barman at the moment.....no im not joking I do full 180 turn arounds...... have no idea what I'd do if I had to settle down with one person.

The thing about the animator was he was just way to nice.....
Im about the most sarcastic person, I take the p*ss alot and my sense of humour is really dark,...he was just too sweet. I guess opposites dont always attract.

Oh and dietwise Im good. I went to the health shop and this woman gave me these herabal fat loss stimulators.....she said they're not like diet pills which I wouldn't take as I've heard the stories. These ones are a mix of herbal supplements...like kelp and milk thistle, apparantly they speed up the diet process without damaging your body just as a boost. Should I be wary?????

So far there is only one side effect and thats a little trapped air. I'd love some objective advice if anyone knows anything.

Gotta go

Love

Laoise

OOps I missed three whole posts on this page,.....Hey jess, IV and Deej,

Im really glad you lot think that way about the bulemia thing. My diet is such a sesitive area with me, maybe the only real sensitivity I have, and so I instantly crumbled and it never entered my head that she wasn't 100% right. But of course I know I got heavy from over eating, and I know that I do it when Im not happy.

But Dj Only in the last year have I stopped starving myself after binging.......something just clicked and I had to make myself see sense. But your right,....she was just putting a label on something that, for me anyway, doesn't need to be labelled. Besides im not f****ng bulemic.


And thanks for the exitement on the boy front, unfortunaley as I mentioned in my other post it didn't really work out,...just to shy and quiet. But Deej, I've been out with an American who was nicer to me than any Irish guy. Also went out with a welsh guy and he wasn't very nice....I don't think it matters where he's from just as long as hes for you. Your DH does sound sweet though,...plus that welsh accent ey???

And Iv, feel free to live vacariously through me ,...although Im sure you could find someone who has a far more interesting life though!!


Okie now I really got to go

Laoise

Most 'drugs' come from plants originally, they just aren't refined and regulated. That's pretty much the difference between medication and herbs.

Regarding the boy? Oh well, as long as you had fun while you were with him and nobody's feelings were trampled, all is well. =) I totally don't believe in 'settling' or anything like that. Find the person that not only makes your heart race but makes you look at anyone else and think 'He's nice/hot/whatever, but he's no <your guy>.'. =) Even if the hypothetical 'other guy' is Mark Philippoussis. (see? I had to spend a good 3 minutes figuring out even one guy that I think is attractive!)

Anyway, good luck with your summer and go out and have nice morning run. It'll make everything better. ;) =)

Laoise,

You're young yet - I'd be more worried if you WERE settling down right now with someone - now's the time to have fun and get to know what kind of man you DO like. In my experience, nice isn't always bad, but you have to have that chemistry and interest, and obviously you didn't for this guy. Sounds like there's already more fish in the sea though, so...watch out Dublin...

Herbs, though more innocuous than drugs for sure, can still have side effects or sensitivities. Kelp (a seaweed) is generally no problem; it's a good source of iron and idodine. Milk Thistle protects the liver, acts as an antioxident and is good for the adrenals. There are a couple of things that I personally don't like about taking supplements for weight loss: One is that a lot of them act as laxatives or diuretics. With laxatives, your body can grow dependant on them and with too much diuretic action you could be pissing out important minerals like potassium, etc. The other thing I don't like is that people begin to believe that they can slack on diet and exercise because they are taking the supplement. Remember, studying herbs are part of my health care field, so of course I have strong opinions! :o

Your life is all that much more fun to read about because of your humor and attitude. Even when all you're doing is studying like a fiend, your journal is still good to tune into. don't know if we'd want to live vicariously through the nursing classes though and I don't think that any of us vicariously wants to know that...that...label happy 'friend'.

Cheers,