First of all, I would truely like to thank all my friends who have been there for me during the worst time of my life.

You love and support is what has, and is still getting me through.

I have decided I'm taking control of my life, one day at a time.

Your prayers have been a God send.

So, now it's time to get down to the busness of living.

I'm going back on my food plan, and this time, I'm going to stick to it.

I know, I know, I've said it a thousand times, well, I'm saying it again.

Never give up.

I'm turning to the next page of my life. I'm through reading the same old one over and over.

Tomorrow, I'm going to start posting my food. It's worked before, so I'll do it again. Do what works and get rid of the rest.

So, welcome to my new journal.

Darlene

:hug: Glad to see you back Babe! :rose:

I second that! Missed you, Fleur. Hope all is well. Posting your food sounds like a terrific idea... what kind of food plan are you doing now? You have changed a bunch of times & I've forgotten! :)

Lisrey :spring:

Hi Dar,
Cant tell you how happy i am to see you back with a new journal :)
I will be here cheering you on and supporting you any way i can.
hugs bell :)

Hi Darlene,
Good to see your smiling face again!! Hope everything is going great for you. I am here cheering you on also!!!!! Anytime I can help just let me know!! Take care and have a wonderful night!!

Love and hugs,
Lizzie

So glad to see you back Dar! :hug:

And remember, your journey is no less successful just because there's rough terrain, winding roads or stumbling blocks along the path! Each step on our journey is a step closer to our destination and a learning experience as well, so you just keep "traveling" and pay no attention to the length of the journey, just be proud of the fact you're still "traveling!" :D

Donna

So thrilled you are back :hug:

Beth :not:

Hi guys, thanks for stopping in.

LISREY- I'm just trying what my sponser does. One plate, three times a day, nothing in between. Also to that I add no sweets of any kind.... to dangerous for me.

Nothing fancy.

DONNA- Thanks for the reminder. I can so forget that sometimes.

LIZZIE- Thannks so much. I just may take you up on that sometime. :wink:

BELL- You too, I may just take you up on that LOL. You just may be sorry LOL.

MAXI- I'm glad to be back. I'm hoping to read some journals later tonight.

Going to post my food later tonight... after I'v eaten LOL.

Take care

Dar

Beth, you snuck in on me. Glad to be back.

Fleur,

So very glad to have you back. Feels like DT is right once again, lol.

Glad that you are all ok too.

I suppose you are posting your food intake right now as the time of your latest post is close by. Good for you.

I am trying to figure out what I need to do right now. I am feeling a bit of a fresh 'wind' to get things moving again and really want to get some success going here.

Well, just wanted to say hi, glad we met up on msn last night. You continue to take good care of yourself and your kiddos.

Hi Dar,
Hope you have a great weekend sweetie, have you got any plans?
Have a great one whatever you do!
hugs bell :)

NANCY- First day with posting my food, and I ended up forgetting LOL Can you believe it??? OMG got short term memory loss as my 6 year old would say.

Here was yesterdays eats:

Breakfast- 2 pouches of Quaker instant oatmeal.
Lunch- 2 turkey sandwiches... yep, two. With butter, cheese and lettuce. They both fit on my one plate, so for now, this is allowed.
Dinner- small plate of home made nachos. (by home made, I mean cooked my own meat LOL bought the cheese and chips) Had it topped with lettuce, tomato, sour cream, olives and a few green onions.
That was it, that was my food day.

So glad we got to chat it up too Nanc.

BELL- Plans???? Hmmm... Well, there's house cleaning. Yep, gonna do some laundry, and I think I'm going to clean out the cupboards in my bathroom. Who know what lurks there. Also, since the temp is going to be in the 70s today, think I'm going to wash my windows. (all from inside. only my bay window, and my 3 patio doors will have to wait till the threat of rain is gone)
OHHHH, wait...... I see......THE SUN!!!! looks like the patio doors just may be done too LOL.


K, got to tell you guys my plans. I'm really thinking I'm cool LOL

My oldest daughter's 13th b-day is May 27. Her favorite radio station, (which happens to be from the city and not across the border in Detroit) is also having a 13th birthday bash on May 20 and 21st. First I was going to call the station and have them send her some bumper stickers, but then I thought, why should I do that? Mayber I could get her a tour.
So, I called the program manager, and he thinks it's a great idea. She'll have to miss school, but so what. And it may just get better. The date they set up is May 21, the second day of the Birthday Bash. That's the day Blink 182 will perform. She loves them. I heard on the radio, that you could win a picnic lunch with them. Sooooo what do you think the chances of us running into them at the station, while they possibly record a promo for the station before this picnic? Our tour is at 10 AM. Oh I could just end up being Mother of The Year for this one LOL. I do know, that she will be sitting behind the controls with the DJ. Hey, who know, she may even get on the radio.

So, that's one plan.

The other: She's been wanting an electric guitar. Right now, with our money problems, that's just not going to happen. I've already given her my accoustic, but it needs tuning. (which I found our a friend of mine does it so he can do it tonight) Needless to say, I've been telling her an electric is out. Little does she know, that as a kid I also had an electric guitar. It's stashed away at my moms. My mom is going to buy her an amp, and she's going to bring it in and have it re-strung for me,
I think Erin will flip when she gets her guitar. ( as I recall, the thing is in mint condition)
OMG, I can't wait. I will love to see her face.

Now, my only delema is what to do for a party. Guess the good old sleep over will have to do.

Anywho, best be going

have a good one

Dar

Dear Darlene,

I may not have posted in your previous journals ... and truthfully I haven't read your past journals .... but I want to say something that you probably know already ....

YOU ARE A SENSITIVE, SMART YOUNG WOMAN .... WHO CAN AND WILL SUCCEED ... Whatever weight loss program you are using to achieve your goals imo HAS TO BE ONE YOU CAN LIVE WITH FOR THE REMAINDER OF YOUR LIFE .... when we think of being on a diet .. imo WE ARE PUTTING A TEMPORARY GOAL ON A LIFELONG CHALLENGE .... none of us who are overweight will be meeting this challenge on a short term basis .. even when we have achieved our goals AND WE WILL ACHIEVE THEM this is for a LIFETIME ...

The fact that you are starting again is TO YOUR CREDIT AND TO YOUR INTELLIGENCE ... I was taught that LOOK BACK ONLY TO LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES .. SO THAT YOU DON'T REPEAT THOSE MISTAKES ... AND MOVE FORWARD EACH DAY REALIZING THERE WILL (ALWAYS) BE ROADBLOCKS IN WHICH WILL OCCUR AND YOU WILL HAVE TO MAKE CHOICES .. I never thought much of those words until I got older and realized that applies in all aspects of life ..

I know that YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF ... YOU HAVE TO PLAN AND MAKE GOALS IN YOUR LIFE .. NOTHING IS ACCOMPLISHED imo WITHOUT MAKING A PLAN OR GOAL You're back and like many here I am glad to see you back and I HOPE YOU KNOW I WISH YOU ONLY THE BEST ... Now put a :) on your face and take those long STEPS FORWARD ON YOUR JOURNEY TO SUCCESS. As always, Monica :hug:

Hiya Fleur!

I think your new food plan sounds pretty interesting! I will be reading along and watching your progress. :up:

Sounds like your daughter is a really lucky girl -- and you are such a thoughtful mom! It's neat that you can relate so well to the things she likes and encourage all of her interests. Good luck bumping into the band!

Loving the weather these last few days. Our Spring is finally truly here. All of my plants are blooming or budding now. Did you get all your windows clean? Wannna come do mine? :laugh:

Totally awesome that the Wings won tonight, eh? Sweetie is psyched up for the next series already... Go Wings!

Lisrey :spring:

Whoa, what a cool mom you are!!!!!!!!!!! Wish I could come too, LOL.

Take care

Oh Man - Can I come too!????? ;)

Sounds wonderful! :D

Beth :not:

i wanna come see Blink 182...those guys are so talented and not too bad on the eye either! Your daughter will be left without a doubt that she has the coolest mum ever!
I see Jon Bon Jovi and his wife had their 4th child this past week...Romeo they called him! i bet he is a cool dad!
Have a great time cleaning those windows Dar!
hugs bell :)

Hi everyone :wave:

Sorry I was MIA yesterday. Was a lazy day.
Had my grandios plans to wash windows, but that was just not meant to be. I ended up having company and they didn't leave till 3 AM. NOT FUN.

So, didn't do windows yesterday either.

My food is still out of whack. I'm sticking to 3 meals, but they just aren't very good ones.
Going to work on that.

BETH- I just wanted to let you know, all is well. Well, as good as it ever was I guess. I'm really working on me and that's helping.
If ever I feel the need, I'll do what needs to be done :wink:

BELL- I knew Jon and his wife were expecting, but I didn't realize they had had the baby. ROMEO???? OK!(as I scratch my head in wonder) What ever. LOL

I like Blink 182 too. I hope we bump into them, but the station never mentioned them at all. That's just me wondering....maybe, just maybe.

NANCY- you know, since everyone wants to come, I'm going to bring my camera and take some pictures.... just in case. That way you can all be there with us. Now why didn't I think of that before any way?

LISREY- OH MAN!!!! What a game. Our house gets so loud come 7:30. Doesn't matter who's playing. He (we) love our Wings, but I think he hates Toronto just as much. He watches to watch them lose.
You know, being this close to Detroit, is very different. See, in Detroit, just about everyone is a Wings fan. Here, half are, and the other have are Maple Leaf fans. It gets so bad when ever they play each other. Now they are in two different confrences and they could end up playing each other for the cup some day. Mark my words, this will break marrages, long time friendships and split families. I know two of Dan's brothers won't watch hockey with him. Things would get very nasty.
Funny how a river changes everything.

I'm loving this weather. Can't wait till it's here for good.

MONICA- Thanks for your kind words. You are such a moral booster. Such inspiration.
Thank you thank you thank you

****************************************************************

Should be going. I'll post again tonight after my Al-Anon meeting.

Take care

Dar

I'm baaack

Today, had 2 pack of oatmeal
2 balonga sandwiches
porkchop, spanish rice, mixed veggies.

Hope you all had a great day, and a great night

Dar

Your doing wonderful :)

Beth :not:

pics would be great when you all go to the radio station..
i thought Romeo was an odd name..anyway..he isnt having kids with either of us so i am not entirely interested lol.
Hugs bell :)

Hi my little fleur, how are you doing? Hope you are well and happy, oh, the party is soon isnt' it!!! Have fun. Don't let it overwhelm you though. Relax, have a good time.

Hi Babes,

I've missed you... Hope all is well around the homestead! B-Day bash sounds great! You know Travis from BLINK 182 lives about 5 minutes from me. I see him around ever so often..

Hope all turns out with Guitar and such.....

Hi everyone :wave:

I've come to realise, I'm just not a regular poster. (hanging my head in shame)

So, guess posting my food isn't such a hot idea, since I don't get here regularly.


MAXI- I think just about everyone famous lives close to you LOL. I remember you telling me Richie Sambora lives near by as well. Do you get to spot many celebs? I know you mention you see Travis now and again, but who else do you see???? Do tell.

NANCY- Erin's party isn't until the end of May, but I'm starting to get things going now. Well, that's not true either. The tour of the radio station is for her b-day, but it's more of a gift then for her party. I've got her gift, or at least part of it, already. She has no idea that I owned an electric guitar when I was a kid. I'm giving it to her. I've already had it restrung and tuned. Just so happens that's what she wants, but I told her it was just to expensive and there was no way I could get her one. HEHEHEHE. Now I just need to get her some sheet music, and a few neat picks.
Now, the party..... Reilly is out at a party right now. The place is a family fun center that has lazer tag and go-carts. I may look into that for a few of her friends. Still undecided on what to do. Time is a tickin though, so I better get it together.

BELL- glad to see I'm not the only one who thought Romeo was a rather odd name. But, as you pointed out, we are not having kids with him, so I guess he's free to name him what ever he wants. I just pitty the kid going to school.
And since we're talking about weird names, what's up with Bruce Willis anyway??? Rumor, Scout and Taloola (not sure of the spelling on that one) Guess Demi has something to do with that too LOL.

Got to get going. Got to go make dinner.

Have a good one.

Dar

Hiya Darl,
i bet your daughter will think its wonderful to get something that is so important to you for her bday...you are an organised gal..i am a last minute preparer lol..
Hope you are having a great weekend!
hugs bell :)

Hey Fleur!

I found you!...Hey...how are you doing?...Really doing?

I hope everything is better...I have been having better days...since Tuesday...averaging 1530 calories a day...no exercise yet...being too lazy...soon enough...it was barely warm here...now it is cold again...40's...eeek!...

Where did spring go?

Hope you are having a great weekend!

Oh...al the stuff you are doing for your daughters sounds great...you are definitely the mother of the year!

mcmarto

stopping by to say :hi" :wave:

Beth :not:

Hello friends :wave:

Just stopping in really quick. I know I can't stay, but I miss you guys.

Thanks Beth, Bell and MC for stopping in.

Things seem to be getting back to "normal" around here. Normal isn't good, but at least it's not the way it was a few weeks ago.

Food wise, things suck. That goes for exercise too. All my equipment is collecting dust...that I have to clean off LOL

Well, I had better get going.

Hope to spend more time here soon.

Dar

Fleur,

Sorry about the struggles with the food and exercise, but I know you will find a way back to them both. If you can maintain now that is doing absolutely fantastic, so hang in there.

I had to blink away some Doritos yesterday...but I did it...you will get back in there soon enough!

mc

aack! I hope I can get this food thing down soon.
The thought came to me... am I using food to kill myself? Really, to slit my wrists would be an out right suicide, which I would never do, but am I trying to use food to do the same thing? I think I just might be.
I mean hey, nobody could say I killed myself right? The poor girl had a heart attack, not her fault... not directly anyway.

I really need to get some counciling for myself. I just can't keep doing this.
One minute I'm falling apart, the next I'm strong, but stuffing my face.

aaaaack!

Ok, I'm better now that I got that out.

Must be off. Guess I just came to vent.

NANCY- Thanks for the MSN chat. I really needed it.

Dar

Hi Darlene,
I sure understand what you are saying!! Yikes I feel the same way many times. Then reality sets in and I try to continue my journey!! Venting is such a stress reliever!!

Hope you feel much better and have a super super day!!

Love and hugs,
lizzie

Hey Fleur!

Are you still going to your other meetings???

The Doritos got me the other day...but I weighed out an ounce and told myself ... no more!...It worked...this time...and I hope it keeps working...I am not giving up or giving in this time...not using one bad meal or bad day as an excuse to forget my better eating habits!!!...

mc

:hug: I am sorry you are feeling this way - I too have often thought this thoughts, and then I picture myself in a casket FAT and say "He*l No" lol - guess it is the vanity thing in me lol but any ways it gets me back on track.

I am here if you need me :)

Beth :not:

Hi guys :wave: sooo glad to be back.

Yesterday Dan wanted me to reboot our puter back to factory setting. Man, I'm ok with puters, but come on! LOL
Well, guess I didn't do to bad eh? I'm here right?

MC-I'm going to both meetings still. I went to my OA meeting today and I'm suppose to go to Al-Anon tonight, but I can't go. A group of us neighbors are going to the funual home. One of our fellow neighbors was killed Saturaday in a terrible crash (120km/h) nasty stuff. She was only 37.
Guess what happend (at 3am) was her and her hubby were on their way home from work and their car broke down. They called a friend to come get them and they flagged down a tow truck. Hubby went in the tow truck, and she went with the friends. A drunk driver plowed intot the back of the friend's car and she was ejected. The hubby seen the whole thing, ran out and held her while she died.
I'm so sad.
I was just taking to them when they were leaving for work in the afternoon.

Any way.... deep breath. I'm not going to my meeting tonight. I sure need to though.

Yesterday was almost the day. I came so close to leaving.
He won't let us use the dishwasher. We havent' used it in a few months. Costs to much. So, I figued, I should be able to use it every few weeks when we have alot of dishes. He said no, and I said yes. He'd been threatening to disconnect it for some time now. Using that to get to me. Well, yesterday, I said, quit threatening, just do what you have to do..... and he did. He also took my tv so I can't watch my soaps. He mentioned taking away the phone and having it disconnected. If he does that, I'm otta here. No phone means no puter either.
I'll be damned if he's gonna have all that power. NO WAY.

My attitude is slowly changing. The fear is turning "who cares" attitude. What do I have to lose? What am I afraid of? The time is drawing near. The clock is ticking.

I found out that all this is more then likely due to his meds. He'll be taking them till the end of Aug. There is no way I can keep this up till then. He needs help and if he won't get it, then we're out of here.

I thought knowing it was his meds would help make me more understanding, and it has, but I can't live with the threats any more. I know it's not his fault, but what am I to do?
No, he has a choise. He can choose to get help. But he doesn't see he needs it. He thinks everything is so much clearer. He can see the "big picture" and nobody else see it that way but him. He's so much better off then anyone else 8-|

Well, I'm going to be strong. I'm going to work on me one day at a time.
What ever happens, I can't control it. I will step aside and let God run this show. I'm just gonna follow his lead.
If I'm to leave, then God will show me when the time is right.

No more fear. There is just no room anymore.

With all that said LOL..... Hope you all are having a great Monday.

I'm just so darn happy to have my internet back up and running LOL.

NANCY- just want you to know, that as of right now, my msn is still not working. Have no idea why yet, so it's something I have to work on.

Have a wonderful night


GO WINGS!

Dar

:console:

Dar..... I'm glad you are going to Al-Anon. I've been in it for 14 years now and it's been a life saver on many occasions! If your area is like my area here in Ohio, there are bunches of different meetings. If you can't hit the one you go to on Monday nights and you feel like you need one, look for another at least until you can get back to your Monday night meeting.

I'm so sorry to hear about your neighbor/friend. That's so difficult, especially when they aren't very old. Hard to understand..... I'm glad you're going to the funeral home with friends. That will make it easier.

Your thoughts on commiting suicide with food is something I have thought about, too. At the very least, sometimes I think it's used as a self abuse kind of thing.....

I don't know what to say about your situation except that in my opinion he's got a serious problem and has far too much control over you already. It's not fair for you to have to live like that. I don't know what meds he's on that makes him so controlling, but part of it has to be him making the choices. There isn't any meds that will totally change a person's personality without some of those traits being there in the first place. If he refuses to get help, then it's out of your control. His choice.... his consequence. And if that means losing you, then so be it. One thing to remember is that if it's meant to be, then maybe if you left him and he realized that you are a strong, independent woman and you meant what you said, he'd get help and get better. Does he need a program of his own?

I hope you stay safe and stay as happy as you can be. Use the phone and vent/talk to people in your program. I'm sure there are some people there that have been where you are and can give you a good strong shoulder to lean on. Take care of yourself and hang in there...... "This too shall pass....."

I agree with Dj...he has to much control...I cannot believe that about the dishwasher and TV!!!!...Does he do stuff like this to your kids?...I am so sorry!

Also...that was such a sad story about your neighbors...really sad...

I hope things get better.........What type of meds is he on and why?...Is it for depression?

mc

Thanks guys.

MAXI- That's deep girl, and very true. no more.

DJ- Gee, you're not so far away from me. I'm just across the way in Ontario on the Erie shore. Now, you could be further south in Ohio LOL then we'd be not so close LOL.

Any way, we do have many meetings around here, but I only have "permission" to go to Mondays. He doesn't know I go to Al-Anon. He thinks I'm doing a "Big Book" study (AA's Big Book) that goes along with my OA meetings. Figure, what he don't know won't hurt.
I'll just have to make it to next weeks meeting.

And, yes, he does need a program of his own. AA would be a good start, but he doesn't know he's an alcoholic. He'd not a fall down drunk. He can "handle" his booze. Just so happens he's aways drinking when ever he's home.
He definitly need anger managment too.

I agree, his actions, his consiquences. I just feel bad because he's not in his right mind to make those actions.

MC- He has a liver condition that requires him to take these powerful meds. They kick the crap out of him. There are terrible side effects and his anger is but one.

I called his theapy nurse, and told her how bad things are. She was really quite conserned. We now have an appointment tomorrow moring with the DR. I'm going in with him. It all worked out so well. He had seen his family DR today, and got nowhere really, so I told him he should see his other DR. He would know more about the side affects of his meds. So, low and behold, the DR calls us for an appointment. I told Dan that his nurse was telling me how his reg DR visit was way over due and we need to come in. Meanwhile, it's cause of me we're going in.
I really don't care how we get in, so long as we do.
He's agreed to taking ani-depressants, but he doesn't want the "high" feeling. He has had some before, and he only took them for 2 days. I know it takes as long as 2 weeks to get use to them. There lies the problem.

Anyway, if this doens't work, then I'm afraid our time is running short. I know I can't go on till the end of Aug like this. NO WAY.

Well, Dan isn't well tonight. He has another migraine. I have to call in sick for him again.

Hope you all have a great night and a wonderful day tomorrow.

Dar

Dar,
i am so sorry for all that you are going through..sounds like Dan has some serious health issues that are adding to the problems...i cant imagine what its like to "LIVE" like that being giving permission to do certain things..i understand why you dont think you can stay in this situation.
i will have to hook my msn messenger back up. i would love to catch up and chat with you sometime.
i am really sorry about your neighbour, how sad for the husband to have seen it all happen before his eyes.
stay safe sweetie.
hugs bell :)

Hi Bell, thanks for stopping in and for you support and understanding.

I have good news. We had a good day. No outbursts or control issues. WOW, what a day.

We saw the DR and he is now on meds for his moods. I hope he sticks with it and things start smoothing out.

Guess the next few weeks will tell.

Must scoot yet again.

OH, before I forget, I'm including my e-mail address for anyone who wants to e-mail me or wants to chat on MSN messenger.
Just let me know who you are in the subject field cause I don't open unknown e-mails.

fleureange@msn.com

this address is secure. I'm the only one with the password.

Take care

Dar

Hey Fleur...good to hear he went to the DR and you two had a good day!!!

I feel for you...you know how it is with my DH too...lately my DH will say things and then see that I am truly thinking things over in my head...within an hour he is apologizing...fearing that I am going to leave him...so in a sense he is controlling me too.......with his moods......I told him I did not want to live the rest of my life this way...and...having kids was not going to solve anything if he does not get help for his moods/depression!...

So life goes on!

Have a great rest of the week!

mc

Hi MC, thanks for stopping in.

Gosh, I have been away for some time now.

Things are just falling into place so perfectly.

Things around here are 100% better. Dan and I had a talk. I think he was ready for it.

He found out I talked to his nurse, and he was furious with me. One thing led to another, and we finally had it out. Got down to the nitty gritty. He finally heard what I was really saying.
Ever since then, things have been great.

I feel better food wise too. I've been toying with the 12 steps, but Monday, I decided to follow them. I did one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I wrote a moral inventory of my life, then shared it with my sponsor. Boy, when you look at the stuff on paper, sure does change things a bit.
It was very embarrassing, but I sure do feel better. So far, I have not craved food. Now I know it won't be a magic solution, cause I need to keep working the rest of the steps, but I feel stronger already.

My food plan has once again changed. I'm following my sponsor's plan. I eat fruit for breakie, or I'll eat carbs. (fruit only at breakfast) after 2 hours, I can eat carbs and veggies. If I choose to ate protein instead of carbs, that's fine. Once protein is in my system though, I can only eat protein the rest of the day. I must wait 8 hours before I can eat fruit or carbs again. (I can eat low carb veggies at any time)

Sounds complicated, but after you get the hang of it, it's easy enough.

I promised the kids I'd take them to Dairy Queen on Friday so they can have a Bizzard that has been advertised. I was feeling a bit left out. Any food addict knows how I'm feeling. So, I was so happy to find out, that I can go to a place called Julies (it's also in the mall with DQ) There I can get a fat free carmal pican frozen yogurt. I can have as much as I want to!!!! I can't wait till Friday :D

Well, I had better scoot.

Have a great day

Dar

So happy that things are going so much better for you!!!!!! :)

Your eating plan sounds a little "involved" but also as you said once you get use to it - not hard to follow.

That is wonderful you wrote down all the stuff and was able to share it woth your sponser.

Wishing you a super week! :D

Beth :not:

Hi Dar,
how great to see that things are improving for you and Dan..i am glad that you got to finally vent those pent up feelings and that he truly heard what you were saying.
i absolutely love frozen yoghurt, my local icecream delivery van brings frozen boysenberry swirl yoghurts to me once a month..so when the rest of the family are eating icecream i have one of those..Caitlin actually prefers the frozen yoghurts now too lol..
i added you to my msn list.hope to chat one day soon.
hugs bell :)

can you believe i added you to my msn list without the e after fleureange..so it was fleurange and someone has that same username that doesnt speak english and i thought it was you playing a trick on me...its too early in the morning for this lol...
hope its you next time !
hugs bell :)

Glad to hear from you and glad that things are better with Dan!

Now...your new plan sure does sound complicated...hahaha...but I hope it works for you!!!

Now...remember...you can't really have all the ice cream you want...it still has calories...hahahaha... :tomato:

Have you been back on the treadmill?...I have been walking...feels great...my goal is to do 5 walks (or something cardio like) a week...for...a minimum of 45 mins...I made my goal last week...and...so far this week...3 days down!!!

Hope you have a nice rest of the week...oh...and a fun Friday!

mc

Hi guys, gonna post this quick.

My computer won't stay on long enough for me to post. I've tried responding at least 3 times and each time, my puter shuts off.

So just wanted to say hi and I'll try posting a reply later.

Dar

MC, I can eat all the ff yogurt I want, as long as I eat no carbs for 4 hours before. I can eat a gallon of it if I want. That's the beauty of this plan. Now, I really don't think I'll eat a gallon LOL, but a nice frozen yogurt would hit the spot.

BELL- FLEUR ANGE is flower angel in french. These are two of my grandma's middle names, That's how I chose it as a screen name. When I created it, I accidentally added the extra "e" So, I"m not surprised you got someone french who speaks no english LOL
I figured since I have the extra "e", it might as well stand for something. So, the e now stands for my middle name...Elizabeth. Corny, but it works LOL

BETH- You aren't the only one who's relieved things are going better around here. I'm extatic.
I got my dishwasher back yesterday, and I get my tv back too.
Thinkgs are looking up.

Have a great day

Dar

Hey, Fleur!

Glad things are getting better on the home front. Scary when you were having so much trouble. I was on vacation & work has been chaotic since I got back, so sorry long time no post!

Sounds like an interesting food plan you've got there. Are you getting out to exercise at all? I remember you said something about wanting a real bike this summer. Did that happen? Do you still want one?

Lisrey :x

Well how is the food plan coming along?...What is it called?

Hope you have a nice weekend!

mc

can as I ask you to please explain the reasoning behind your new eating plan?

I am not knocking it or anything - I just don't understand it lol :)

Beth :not:

LISREY- No, I haven't been doing ANY exercise in quite some time. Ever since I hurt my back, I've found it hard to get back into it. I would still like a real bike, but I know that won't be happening this year. Money is just to tight.
I'm giving myself a couple of weeks, then I'm going to make the commitment to get back in the game.

MC- L really do love my food plan. I find it very strict, but yet very flexable. It really has no name. My sponsor made it up. She has years of experiance wit nutrition. She also did many years of study on it.

BETH- I had a hard time getting use to this food plan the first time around. Maybe this time I'm ready for it, I don't know.

Anyway, here it goes.

Breakfast= fruit. No protein at all. No milk in my coffee even. NONE!
Wait 2 hours after eating fruit
Lunch= carbs and veggies. No protien. NO oils in my salad dressing or in any thing else. Nothing with milk solids or any animal protien. (got to watch the hidden things)
Wait 4 hours after eating any carbs
Dinner= protien. meats, fish, cheese eggs... and veggies.
Wait 8 hours after eating protien.

Now, this is flexable, in that if I don't want fruit, I can forgo it and have carbs for breakfast and lunch. Better yet, If I choose, I can keep going with the carbs, and have them for dinner too, as long as I don't eat ANY protien.
The only requirment it that I don't mix carbs and protein, and I wait the required amout of time in between.
I can eat as much as I want, but believe me, I am full after my meal.

When you don't mix carbs with protein, the carbs can be digested in 4 hours, so by the time you do eat protein, it's gone.

I could also decide to eat protein all day if I want, but I have to wait 8 hours before eating fruit or carbs. I usually have my protien for dinner so I can sleep off my 8 hours.
Veggies are free (except the carby ones like peas carrots and corn).

Today I waited my 4 hours after my carbs, and decided to make chocolate oatmeal cookies. So, no protien for me today. The way I made them, I used splenda instead of sugar, water instead of milk, and apple sauce rather than oil. I didn't bother with the eggs.I also added some cocoa to make it chocolaty

They aren't you're reg oatmeal cookies, but they hit the spot.

Oh, one biggy I forget about this food plan, NO SUGAR. You have to really read your food lables.

I do get protein even though I'm not eating animal products. I eat alot of beans, and when they are eaten with wheat, they become a complete protein. So, fear not, I am getting all I need.

Hope that sums it up for ya :D

I had such a wonderful OA meeting today. I think at some point, we all got teary eyed. I had called an old OA friend who stopped comming to meetings years ago. She came today!!! I'm so gald I called her. I hope she keeps coming.

Anyway, I've got to scoot. Almost time to leave for my next meeting.

Have a good night

Dar

Your food plan sounds a little like Suzanne Somers mixed with Carb Addicts mixed with SBD!!!!

Well I have been doing well...1 month down...and 11.2 pounds too...mainly counting calories and in the last two weeks...walking 5 times a week...lots of water...lots of fruit...some veggies...plenty of calcium and fiber!!!...OH...and I still can have sugar...I am having way less then I was earlier this year...maybe one thing a day...but...I have not been hungry or craving it...I am craving losing this weight once and for all...

My graduation gift to myself?...A personal trainer for the summer...2 or 3x a week!!!...Hope its not too expensive!

Hope you have a good week...

mc

MC- WOW, that's some graduation gift!!! You deserve it too. That really is a neat idea.
Congrats on the most execellent weight loss!. (I just watched School Of Rock, can you tell LOL)
One month and 11.2lbs gone forever. :cheer:

Dar

What a day.

Started out cleaning like I normaly do, but then at about 10:30, I start thinking about what I'm going to have for lunch. I'm out of just about everything, so I head out to the grocery store.
Finally get home and the groceries put away, when it's time to get the kids off the bus.

Get back home, make dinner real quick, and off to the city we go. Erin's in the school band and they had a concert tonight.
On the way there, I got rear ended. Nothing serious. No damage done. The guy hit my trailer hitch. Lucky for us, we were both at a red light as it turned green, so he didn't hit very hard.

The concert was great. Wasn't only her school, but about 12 bands/ 500 kids. They all played at the same time for a few songs. That was amazing. Lots of talent there.

Erin and her school band will be heading off to Toronto in a few weeks to play at Canada's Wonderland (amusment park) Play for 15 mins, then have a blast the rest of the time. Not a bad deal.

Finally, tomorrow a day off. I can actually get some house work done around here.

Friday is the day I'm bringing Erin for the tour of the radio station. I can't wait to see her face.

My food is great! I'm really enjoying my food plan. But I'll tell you what sucks LOL I decided to have protein tonight. As I'm cooking my chicken, I get a bright idea to make cookies. So, Erin helped me. The part that sucks, is I can't have any till tomorrow. They have no oils in them at all. They are for when I eat carbs. So, since I was going to eat protein, no cookies till tomorrow. Oh well. You know, the funny thing is it really doenst bother me. For once in my life, I don't have heart palpatations cause I want a sweet thing I can't have. Actually, that's not true. Since I've started this food plan, I've had cake in my house that lasted 3 days, and I didn't even give it a second thought.
When I work my program, it really is a miracle.

Well, I'm outta here

My luck, the puter will shut down before I finsh this post LOL

Dar

Hi Dar,
glad that the rear ender was nothing serious!
i am going away for the weekend but will check in when i get back to see how Erin liked the radio station tour, are you still giving her your guitar? i bet she will be thrilled with all the trouble you have gone to in organising everything..
Your new food plan sounds good..those cookies sound delicious..i will have to get the recipe off you sometime.
Have a nice time with erin.
hugs bell :)

Oh you will have to let us know how Friday goes :)

So happy no one was hurt and no serious damage done in the car accident :D

GREAT on passing up the carbs!

Beth :not:

Congrats on not craving!...Work that program girl!

You are all going to have so much fun tomorrow...I cannot wait to hear all about it...

Hey...maybe Bon Jovi will be there as a special guest!...hahaha!

mcmarto :D

:hug:

hope your weekend is going great !

it was so nice to have a chat with you the other day

I sure have missed my contact here


It is so nice to hear you so happy

keep kicking butt girl


:x

Nice to see you are doing good Fleur, and that everyone is ok after the fenderbender. I ran into someone like you and they had no damage(because of trailer hitch) and I had a square hole punch in my bumper. lol, hubby wasn't worried about it. It doesn't show much so we descided not to worry about it. It is still there. lol But I did feel awful at the time, it was my first accident like that.

You are so organized with your food and so in control too. Good girl!!!

stopping by to see how you are doing and how Friday went :)

Beth :not:

Hey girl...how are you doing?

How did the radio station thing go?

Talk soon!

mcmarto

Dar, sounds like you are doing really well! That's great to hear! Your food plan sounds like it's working for you and that's whats important!

Have a great week and just keep doing what you're doing..... it's great to "see" you smiling! :)

how was the radio station? enquiring minds want to know?
Hope all is going great with you!
hugs bell :)

Miss you, Fleur! Hope all is well.

Lisrey :hug:

Hey...have a fun weekend!

Talk to you soon!

mc :)

Hope everything is OK with you Darlene and that you can come back to DT soon :)

Beth :not:

I've missed you all soooooo much :hug:

My computer finally died. As it is, I have 175 e-mails, and still can't get to them. I'm gonna have to figure that out.

The station was fun. We didn't get to see anybody famous, but we learned alot. Erin was so surprised. The look on her face said it all. We took lots of pics, so one day next week, I'm gonna try to get them in.

Bry-Anne had her dance recital last night. It was great. Those little ones age so cute.
One of the dancers there, dances with the Rockets at the Detroit performance. Funny, I had no idea at the time, but I was thinking to myself, man, that girl is good. She really stood out. Now I know why.

I'm still sticking to my food plan. NOT ONE CHEAT. I haven't so much as liked my fingers. Yesterday was 3 weeks. I've lost 12lbs.
I don't know if any of you are familliar with 12 step programs, but step 4 is writing an inventory of all your bagage, then step 5 is giving it away. I have taken these steps,and I feel free. I really have a peace I've never felt before.
Food isn't calling to me like it did before.
I just feel great.
I'm now working on the rest of the steps. One of them, it making direct amends to people we had harmed. That's not so easy. Back in my teens, I did lots of stupid stuff I now have to say I'm sorry for. But it has to be done, and I've already done some.

Any way, I'll try to get my butt back here later.

So good to be back

Dar

Way to GO - 12 lbs gone! How wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :dn

:cheer:

Is there any where online I can find those 12 Steps at?

Super that your birthday surprise went so well :)

Terrible about your PC - I assume you got a new one?

Beth :not:

Hi Beth :wave:

No, we didn't get a new puter, but I did get it fixed. I guess it goes back in next week to get "scrubbed" what ever that means. I do know I'll lose all my stored info, but I already have back ups, so I should be fine.

Erin had her sleepover party this weekend. They played fear factor. They had to eat a lemon, guess 3 songs each, move cereal from one bowl to another with a straw, and eat sardines. They were all troupers, and they had a blast.

The OA web site has the 12 steps. www.overeatersanonymous.org
I was talking to my sponsor, and I think I'm going to ask John if we can open a forum for OAers. I dont' know anyone here at DT who is a memeber, but you never know.

Gonna go read a few journals now

Have a good one

Dar

Thanks so much Darlene - btw I think that is a very good idea! Even if people don't follow OA per say - the information would be very helpful I am sure :D

Beth :not:

i have missed you Dar, glad to see it was just puter trouble, although i know how frustrating that is!
glad that Erin liked the radio station trip so much, i knew she would.
good for you on 12 pounds eliminated forever, thats awesome! you sound really positive and focused. good for you!
hugs bell :)

Oh...so happy to hear from you!

Glad your daughter's b-day went well!

Congrats on all that weight loss...you must feel great!

Hope to talk to you soon!

mcmarto

Hey gang.

Just thought I'd let you know I started a new thread in the Eating Disorder Forum.

It's called OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS there is hope.

Hope you guys will check it out.

I'll be adding more info as time permits.

Thanks

Dar

Thanks Dar...will try to stop by!

mc

Thanks MC, I saw you there.

Hope you can check out my thoughts about step 1.

Would love to have your coments.


Got lots of work done today, but I have so much more to do. I have my laundry/storage room to go through now.

Must be off.

Take care

Dar

Hello Darlene,

Long time, no post. Sorry for being so not here for so long. Haven't been posting too much past few weeks anyway. Trying to do more and catch up some.

Glad you are back and posting again. Sorry your puter up and died on ya too. Smart of you to keep files backed up. I should do that too, and I know it, but I don't do it often enough.

Anyway, I was in the neighborhood and wanted to say hello. Take care and enjoy your weekend.

:hug:

Thanks for the thread - I will head there and check it out :)

Hope all is well with you - is it?

Beth :not:

Gosh...I have so much to do too...

Lots of cleaning up and re-organizing!

Then at school I have to pack it all up...ack!

I can't believe its almost over!!!

Hope you had a nice weekend!

mcmarto

SANDIE- the only reason we were so smart is cause a few weeks ago, we restored the computer back down to factory setting. I had lots of files I wanted to keep, so I made a back up disk. Then wouldn't you know it, it dies on me. As it is, it has to go back in in a few days. We're just waiting for Erin to finish up her speach first. Then it's bye bye computer AGAIN

BETH- All is very well. I'm really learning to cope with life and not eat over it. I can handle things so much more sanely when I'm not jacked up on sugar like some druggie.
Dan has mellowed, so that's good. I don't know if it will last or not, but I'm greatfull for today.

MC- WOW, it has come to an end already eh? Time sure does fly.
I'll send you out an e-mail regarding that convention. Oh, wouldn't it be fun to meet?
I guess last time it was right in Chicago.

NEWS

Not much going on around here.

Today was official weigh in. It's been 4 weeks today that i've been on this food plan and have not cheated once.

I'm down 17lbs.

I feel like I've been rocketed into another world.

Going to go get some major cleaning done now. Kids are off to school, and hubby is asleep.

Oh, I rearranged part of my family room. One side is the seating area, the other has a hockey table and my gym equipment. I moved the hockey table so I can have easier access to my equipment. Maybe now I'll start using it.

God's will, not mine. Mine says sit on my butt. Guess I had better start listening to see if "that's" really what I'm sopose to be doing. LOL

Take care

Darlene

Hey! I walked 20 mins on my treadmill!!!!!! :D

Gonna do some tae bo tomorrow.

Dar

:cheer:

Yay for the 17 pounds!! Yay for the exercise!! Yay for you, having it all together!!

:jn :dn

Lisrey

Congrats on the 17lbs!

Congrats on the walk...did you get the tae bo in?

You are doing great...keep up the good work!

mc

Thanks Lisrey :o

MC- I didn't do tae bo, but I did 15 mins on the treadmill, 5 mins on my bike, and the warm up to a workout on tv. I know it's not much, but I'm just easing back into it.
I would have done tae bo, but I woke a bit late. early enough to get some exercise in, but not enough do get into a real workout. Besides, tae bo scares me at this point in time LOL. I'll try to get it in tomorrow.

I've decided I'm going to walk after dinner. (weather permitting) Although this IS exercise, I'm doing it for leisure. Not going to speed walk, and if the weather is bad, I'm not going on the treadmill. I just want to add a bit, get use to it a bit and enjoy the fresh air. Know what I mean?

Going to try to do some crunches today too. One day, your gonna be able to see my abs, so they had better be in shape LOL.

Have a great day

Dar

way to go on losing 17 pounds !!!!!!!!!!!!! :cheer:

Beth :not:

Thanks Beth

Ok, guess what, it's unofficial untill next Tuesday, but.... it's now 20lbs !!! Man I love this food plan I'm on. AND I EAT!!!!

No exercise today, least not yet. Not feeling well at all. Not sure if it's a cold, or allergies I never had before, but I'm drained and I feel like I've been hit by a Mac truck.

Maybe I'll hop on my treadmill tonight, who knows.

Other than that, life is pretty dull.

Hope you all had a great day, and a wonderful tomorrow.

Dar

Every bit counts girl...whether its a leisure walk...or a power walk!

Congrats on the 20lbs...have you adjusted your stats?

mc :D

Thanks MC, I just did adjust my stats while you were posting LOL
Great minds think alike.

I thought I'd get the power exercise in in the AM, and a leisure walk to boost my matabolisum when it starts dropping after dinner. They say it drops off toward the end of the day, and a bit of exercise will keep it going, so that's the reason for the walk.

Didn't get to do it today, as it's just miserable out there. Rain and clouds!

Reilly's track meet was canceled. Last week he ran on the track team, and because he got a placement, he make the "all star team" There were going to run today, but it got rained out. No word on a rain date.

It's funny. I can't imagin my childhood being any more different then theirs. I never played any sports. My parents never encouraged it. I swam in the summer, that's all. I didn't even like tag. (Prob cause I was over weight and couldn't run)

I'm so glad my kids love sports.

have a good one

Dar

Isn't it amazing about sports and kids? I always hated sports because I have no depth perception and was terrible at ball games. I was always last picked, and hated participating. Part of why I did not exercise and got fat. You are a wonderful Mom to support all that your kids do, whether sports or music or whatever!

Congratulations on the big 2-0!

Lisrey :up:

Hahaha...gosh...its been pouring here too...so icky out!

Hope you have a great Friday!

mcmarto

Hi Dar,
thanks so much for the chat today about my friend, you are one wise gal! you helped me to put a lot of things in perspective in my head...
i am si thrilled at how well you are doing with your program, you are an inspiration!
hugs bell :)

Darlene I just want you to know how very happy I am for you and how proud I am that you are sticking to your plan/program and reaching your weight loss goals :D

20 lbs gone! you rock! :dn

Beth :not:

DAR! I haven't been in here in awhile, but wanted to pop in and say hello.... you are doing SO WELL!! I'm so happy for you. I have another friend that does the OA thing and it works for her, too. I am in Al-Anon and have been for a long time so I use pretty much the same 12 steps..... and I gave up most refined sugar and my life has been so much better for it! I just feel great and don't miss it at all. There are getting to be more and more sugar free things and if I want something sweet, it's so great knowing I can have it and not blow a whole days calories on it!

I'm so pleased for you! 20 pounds is great and you are sounding positive and full of life! Very inspirational stuff! Take care and have a great weekend!

:o Oh my. Thanks so much.

DJ- this program is really saving my life. It's not just the food, but everything that surrounds it. I just can't believe the changes in me. I'm learning more about myself everyday, It's unreal.
Al-Anon is helping too, but OA will always be my home. Really, after the first step, the rest is all the same.

BETH- I'm really trying NOT to stick to this plan, but to adopt it and live it. I know right now I am sticking to it, but one day i'll just be living it. I KNOW I WILL.

BELL- I too enjoyed our chat. Lately I've been really coming to understand the alcoholic mind. Mine works much the same way, but my drug is food. I've been reading AA's Big Book and it sure is shedding so much light on things.
I hope your friends comes to her "bottom" soon. Just remember, you can only plant the seeds of recovery, you can't make her recover. She must find her own way.
With a friend like you, she is truely one of the lucky ones.

Mc- Boy it sure cooled down here! was down right chilly. Two days ago it was 90 today, not sure, but it was cold enough to wear a jacket.

Nothing really new today.

OH, I had nachos today, On MY PLAN!!! I had baked chips (No oil) ground soy as my beef, onions, tomatos and salsa. Was yummy.
After my 4 hours, I had a nice steak, a salad some cheese, and ICE CREAM! was a low carb kind that tastes great, but the key was, it has no sugar cornstarch or wheat. No carbs, i can have it.
yesterday, I even had chocolates.
I love this food plan. I really do. I look forword to my meals.

I should get going.

I'm gonna pray for another loss in the morning LOL :wink:

Take care and have a great Saturday

Dar

Your doing great!

It has just been hot and humid here...guess I have to enjoy it until October!...Pfft!

You are doing great...keep up the good work!

How is your DH?...Has he made any comments about your food plan...etc?

How are the kids...

mc

MC, My kids are all doing well. Erin and I watched a movie this morning and we're going to make some cookies later. I just picked Reilly up from his buddies house, and Bry-Anne has been out all day with a little friend. It's the girl's b-day so they went to see Shrek 2.
It's been a nice relaxing day today... a carb day I might add LOL.

Dan was saying stuff about my food plan, and I'd tell him to mind his busness. At one point, me was trying to give me crap for eating cookies (my kind) He said my sponsor had created a monster and if she knew what I was eating, she woulnd't sponsor me anymore. He thought I was lying to her and to myself.
I told her what he said, and she laughed. She said SHE was the monster, and not to mess with our cookies.
I told him what she said, and ever since, he's left me alone.
I know in my heart of hearts, that I have not cheated at all. Not once, not even a little bit. I love this plan, and it allows me so much freedom as long as I play by the rules, and the rules are easy once you get use to them.
Once in a while he gives me a look when I eat my ice cream, but he doesn't say a word.
I mean really, 20lbs speak for themselves right?

I think I'm gonna go read some journals while I have some time.

Take care

Dar

Hi Darlene,

Wow girl you are smoking!! Sounds like you have found the lifestyle change just for you!! I think that is wonderful. OA I have heard is a good place to call home. Al-Anon also has a wonderful program. I have a very dear friend that has been a member for many many years and it did change her life.

Just stopped to say hello since I haven't seen you in months!! Take care and see you soon. Are you riding your bike again? If you start another challenge let me know!!

Have a super day!!
Love and hugs,
Lizzie

Dar I am soooooooooo happy for you in sooooooooooo many ways - heck girl you make me so proud of you :D

way to go on sticking to your plan and sticking up for yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Beth :not:

Well...I am glad you are all doing well!

AND glad your DH has backed off...don't listen to him...he is only trying to bring your new plan down!...pfft!

You are doing fantastic!

Keep up the great work!

mc

20 pounds doesnt lie! thats for sure!
only you know what you can and cant eat..men just want to stick there 2 cents in lol.
you are doing wonderfully..you are right about my friend..i cant make her decisions for her.
keep going strong Dar.
hugs bell :)

MC- Gotta tell you a story.

Friday, my hubby was crying I wasn't spending time with him ( you know what he wanted LOL) Well, for 3 days I hadn't been feeling well, so Friday I was getting some real cleaning done.
I finally have enough and I go upstairs to clean. I don't hear a word for some time and I think it's getting close to him having to leave for work. I go down and he's asleep. I wake him and he tells me to call in for him . (he's acting a baby. if I won't spend time with him, he's not going to work!!!)
I said NO! I'll not call in and I left to run some errand I was planing on running when he left for work.
Now, the thing is, I'm the official "caller inner" (LOL) for work. I do his dirty work all the time. Also, I NEVER leave. NEVER. So, I did two things out of character for me.

I came home, and he was gone to work. :D

As to him bringing my plan down, I'll call in reinforcments on him. My sponsor will set him streight!!! :devil:

BETH- I've been sticking up for myself here and there, more and more often. Gotta take care of me.
I thing my food plan is really working for me, cause I'm really working it. This plan is just so easy for me. Nice when something just clicks and fits you like a glove.
I'll tell you though, without the 12 steps, I couldn't even do this food plan. Nothing would work for me.

LIZZIE- I'm gonna give myself some time, then I just might start a bike challenge. What a great idea. I'm gonna give myself, say, 2 weeks to build a bit of endurance in the exercise department. Yep, that's just what I'm gonna do. Thanks my friend. When I'm ready, I'll let you know....... Now I'm all excited!

BELL- You're right, I know what I can and can't eat. I alway have. I just chose to try to fool myself. Not this time, and I don't need him to monitor me. I choose to eat on my plan.
Thanks for the support. :)


Had a great day with the kids today.
First we all watched movies last night, and they camped out on our bedroom floor.
This morning we slept late.
When we finally got moving, I took the younger two out to the park, then the dollar store to buy water guns, then for an ice cream. Now they are enjoying squirting each other with they're guns, out in the yard.

Dan took Erin out to the show, and to buy her the Lost Prophets CD she wants. He promised her a Dad and Erin day, Work ended up cancelling his shift, so today was the perfect day.

Well, I must be off

Take care

Dar

That really does sound like a fun "family" day! :)

Let me know what kind of bike challenge you dream up. I'm trying to gear myself up for riding regularly now that I have my new gear... I need motivation to just do it. A challenge would be great!

Lisrey :coach:

Lisrey, How about we start a challenge the first day of summer? What is that the 21st or 22nd? Which ever, it's soon. We can let Lizzie in on our fun, and anyone else who is interested.

News:

Well, it's Tuesday again, my official weigh in day. Mr Scale says it's official, 20lbs gone. The scale hasn't budged since last Wed, I'm hoping that it moves again soon. (not getting greedy :devil: it's only 20lbs in 5 weeks!!!) I'm just on a kick, and I love seeing that scale move DOWN for a change LOL.

Today I have to bake some cookies, then head to the school this afternoon. Bry-Anne's class invited us to a day of celebration. Should be so fun. I know they make up a song to Sinatra's New York New York (First Grade First Grade).

We were going to go to a friend's yesterday after school, and swim but we got rained out. I was looking forward to my first swim of the year. Guess I'll just have to wait a bit longer.
My mom's pool (inground) is only 72* brrrrr.

I think I'm going to do some floor work on my mat while the cookies bake. I'm gonna need it for the challenge !!!

Well, that's all the news.

Have a good one everyone.

Dar

Hey Babes :wn

You are doing awesome.... Finding the right food plan for yourself was key. No DEPRIVATION, only moderation!

I'm so Happpy for you Fleur..... And I hope your continued changes bring you thee best Success's in every way.....

Hey...funny story!

What a giant baby!

Glad you have been doing so well...keep up the great work!!!...

mc

First day of summer sounds great, Fleur. You want to start it this time? Just let me know when & where you do it & I will be there! I sure want to get my butt back on the bike again. I don't know why I resist it so much.

Hope you have a nice Wednesday -- the weather today was great! Did you get to the pool this time?

Lisrey :D

Ah, Dar..... the song sounds so cute! How was the 1st grade celebration?

Congratulations on the 20 pounds gone! That's so great!! And your attitude is contagious.... positive and upbeat and inspirational!

Hope you find a nice sunny hot day real soon to go swimming. I'm looking forward to swimming this year myself. I had laser surgery on my eyes 2 & 1/2 years ago and haven't been swimming since then..... I'm looking forward to being able to see who's swimming by me! LOL

Take care and have a great Wednesday! You're doing great!!

way to go !!!! :dn

So happy your doing well - even if you are "greedy" lol ;)

Beth :not:

MC- You got that right! A GIANT BABY!!!

LISREY- I'll prob open a thread sometime night in the exercise forum or challenges or something LOL. When I open it, I'll let you know. We can start the challenge on June 21, but I'll open it now to get us all pumped. Maybe we could pass the word around to see if others are interested.

DJ- The celebration was so sweet. They sang about 10 songs for us. Bry-Anne was her melodramatic self as usuall. She was very animated to say the least LOL. I took many photos, as my video camera needs a new battery.

I did mange to go swiming yesterday. I took the kids for an hour, over to my friends. was nice to get in the water again. When it comes to evolution, I believe I must have come from fish LOL. I'm no monkey, I can't climb a tree for nothing. LOL

I'm trying to remain calm LOL the weight hasn't moved in a few days!!! AWWW LOL. I know I know, I'm not going to see 3-5 lbs every week, but a bit of movement would be good. My weigh in day is Tuesday, so we'll see.

BETH- Speaking of greedy LOL I'm not greedy, I just want it all LOLOL. Like I was just saying to DJ, I want 3-5lbs gone a week. I know that's not always going to happen. I must learn to be patient. In God's time, not mine.

Not much else new around here. Just getting ready for the end of the year feild trips. Reilly has one on the 23, Erin on the 21 and Bry-Anne has one tomorrow. I'm going with Bry-Anne. We're going to Fort Malden where we will learn in a simple way who pioneers lived. Then we'll walk to the ice cream store. That's the part she can't wait for LOL.
I'd like to go with Reilly on his trip, but they will be swiming (parents too) and I don't want to be in a bathing suit in public. No thanks.
Erin's trip is a bike ride to the principal's house for a day at the beach and BBQ. Again, swimming. No thanks.
At least Bry-Anne's trip has walking involved.

Got to scoot now.

Have a great day

Dar

Hi Dar,
sounds like the Grade one celebration was too cute! i love going to those things, our kids are just too clever arent they? :)
have fun on the field trip, soon you will be willing for a filed trip involving swimming to show off that gorgeous bod!
you are doing so well, that scale will keep moving. just leave some pounds to lose for the rest of us!
hugs bell :)

Bell, LOL I got lots of pounds to go, 20lbs is just a drop in the seemingly endless bucket.
One day I'll feel good enough to wear a suit in public. I may need to have some skin removed first, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Dar

Hey guys,

The new thread for the SUMMER BIKE CHALLENGE is up and running in the exercise forum. Hope you'll all join in on what ever bikes you have.

Dar

I'm back from a very long day at the Fort. Was nice, hot and the rain clouds missed us.
So interesting to see how the pioneers lived and how the soldiers did things at the fort. What a step back in time it was. Our area was a major battle zone in the war of 1812. This area was occupied back and forth between the americans, and the british. The americans would advance and take this land, then we'd move in and take part of Detroit, then they'd move in again. This went on, over and over. Can you imagine how many cannon balls must be in the Detroit river buried under all the silt?

It's very hot here today. Thanks goodness for air conditioning LOL.

Hope you all had a great day.

I'm off to pick up the kids, then to get groceries.

Take care

Dar

Hey girl!

How are you doing?...Sounds like you had a great time on that field trip!

Your kids are still in school?...Is it a year round school?

Here in Illinois...the Chicago public school kids are the only one's still in school...our last day is the 22nd...its a phoney day...we only go in for an hour!

Tomorrow is our big final fling...I have to finish packing...luckily I have Monday too...with no kids...I brought some stuff home today...and will have to slowly bring car loads home each day through Tuesday!...

Well .. have a fun Friday!

mcmarto

Never thought i'd ever have this problem!

I decided to log my food into fitday.com.

I had 2 strawberries, and a hand full of grapes for breakfast (cause I woke up so late)
2 large chicken breasts, I'm thinking about 10 oz!!! and 1C of raw cauliflower for lunch.
2 very thin fry steaks for dinner.
I was full.
My cals only came to 806!!!!
So, I eat a big salad with lots of veggies, and add my dressing. I add that to fitday, and now I'm at 904 cals! Still way to low. I'm not hungry any more!!! I still need more cals!!!
Nope, never thought I'd see the day.


MC- yep, my kids are still in school, and no, it isn't year round, though sometimes I wish it was LOL.
Bry-Anne has one more day, Tuesday. The other two are out Wed. We still have 2 field trips, one Mon and the other Wed. This time of year is so crazy.
The 24, is a PD day, only the teacher have to go, but I doubt they only go for an hour LOL They make them stay the day!

Are you sad to leave your school? Did you make a decision about what you're going to do next year?

Guess I could get my butt over to your journal and find out LOL

Take care,

Must go EAT now.

Dar

too few cals??? go Dar...its not the worst problem to have thats for sure..i can honestly say i have never been a calorie counter so i wouldnt know how many cals i eat a day and if its enough considering the exercise i do... you have given me food for thought.
glad you had a nice time at the Fort..
hugs bell :)

Bell,

I'm not a calorie counter either. Actually, I hate counting anything LOL. It was just on a whim that I loaded my food at fitday. I don't know how many cals I should eat a day to have a healthy weightloss, but I do know to few is not good. It will shut down my metabolisum and start burning muscle. I think.... just think mind you, that 1200-1500 is a good number. Anything lower is not so good.
So you can see my concern. I dont want to have to few and shut off my metabolisum and start burning my muscles.

Already starting out better this morning.
1 kiwi
1/4 cantaloupe
3 strawberries
hand full of red seedless grapes
1 banana

All in my usual morning fruit salad.

I'll go log that into fitday and see how that fits in.

Take care

Dar

I've been having Blue berries - peaches, necterines, and banana, with some Vanilla Soy milk, and its damn good in the morining...

You are doing so fabulous darlin..! Rock on Sista!

I'll let you know if I start a AB challange..... I'm uh thinkin!!!

Go Dar! :dn

you really inspire me - I have watch you just take total control and charge of your eating/exercise - what a positive change and how happy I am to see it :D

Beth :not:

Hey girl!

Well...I am not that sad to leave my school...mainly because I chose too...you know...its not like I can't go back cause I moved far away or something like that!...I will miss some of the kids...and some of the staff...but...overall their were more negatives there then positives!

I hope to teach again this fall...where?...I have no idea...I have sent out resumes...and...I was supposed to have an interview yesterday but they called to reschedule...I did not here from the principal today...this makes me nervous...oh well...I am still searching!

Hope you have a nice weekend!

AND...eat those calories...you should eat a minimum of 1200...but...about 1400 is a little bit better...especially if you are burning up calories exercising too!

Have a good one!

mc

OMG!! do you know if you hit "Esc" on your keyboard, your entire post will disappear???? I found out the hard way :c(

BETH- Believe it or not, I've done just the opposite. Instead of taking control, I have given it up..... To my higher power "God". My will power is to strong when it comes to food. I strongly will myself to eat it! So, now I'm giving up my will and seeking God's will for me. (and that's not to fill my face LOL) I seek his will in all that I do and say. I really try to serve God in that way.
Believe me, I'm no bible thumper, and I can't quote scripture LOL but I am working a spiritual progam and that's making all the difference.

MAXI - Your breakie sounds yummmmmmmmy! I think the vanilla soy milk would give it that kick into yumminess.
I love my breakie too, and when I was in a rush the other day and couldn't have it, it really did bum me out. Glad that's only happend once in 5 weeks.

MC- Thanks for the calorie info. I knew it was something like that, but since I've never counted cals, I really wasn't sure.
I know you'll be teaching again in the fall. Don't panic. It will work out. Just have faith. In the mean time, you must do the foot work, and sounds like you're doing just that. Sending out resumes. That's all you can do. Now, be patient and enjoy your summer holidays :D
Well, I still don't see any more weight coming off. I must learn patients. God help me learn patients. I want it now, but it's in God's time, not mine. I know I'm doing all I can. I'm right on plan and have been since May 11. No cheating. So, it WILL come off.

Going to put it behind me for today, and go clean my house. I want it nice for tomorrow since it's Fathers Day.

Have a good one

Dar

I've decided to put my plan in God's hands too...thanks for the reminder.
Love ya, Jess. :)

It's thundering, but I'm off to the store for bikes for the challenge...hope you have a good day.

Jessi- You are going out, in the thunder to buy a bike for the bike challenge???? WAAAAY TO GOOOOO girl!!!!!!! You rock!!

Dar

Hey...Hey...Hey!!!

What did you do for Father's Day?

We had a b-b-que planned but then my dad had to work today (he will not pass up OT) :D ...and my younger brother (the new father) was working during the day...my older brother took his family to Wisconsin...so...my mom took my dad to breakfast...I stopped by with a gift and brought him some lunch from Panera so he could take it to work!

Hope you had a nice weekend!

Thanks again for the convention info...you might want to post it on your OA journal if you haven't already???

mcmarto
mc

MC- Fathers day, we slept in and watched movies till noon LOL. After that, we went outside and cleaned the yard. I cleaned the inside of our vehicles. (took hours!!!)

Made a nice beef veggie stir fry for dinner.

Went to both my meetings today. Always seem to get something out of them.

Got 16 min of bike riding in today, Not all at once, but I put in my time :D

Not much else to report today, besides my food plan is still perfect for me. :D

Tomorrow is my weigh in, but (as Maxi calls it) "The kotex kid" is here :( so don't know if there will be a loss or not. Guess I'll find out tomorrow.

Till then, have a great night and a bright tomorrow.

Dar

glad you are still crusin along Dar!
good luck for the weigh in tomorrow.
hugs bell :)

Morning Bell, and to all my friends :wave:

Well, today was weigh in. Still hanging in there at a 20lb loss. I'm sure it'll move for next week since I know I'm eating right on plan. It will move again LOL.

On tap for today:

Clean my house!!!
Dan will be gone out for the day, this is the last day all the kids will be in school, so it's the last day I'll have to myself. Could be forever since I'll prob be working in the fall.
I'm going to start out by hitting my bike, then move on to some heavy duty cleaning.

I'll be back later to read some journals too :D

Have a wonderful day

Dar

Splendid! Just splendid.... You are doin Fab my dear..... And that Old Kotex Kid always makes the scale tired..... But soon as he leaves the scale gets all rejuvinated and will let go... So whaaa hooooooooo!

Do you promise Maxi?? Will "he" take some weight with "him" when he goes??? LOL

Sure can't wait. :)

Well he usually does.... No promises, but damn near close enough...... He always pulls in to town for supplys then leaves on an adventure for a month. before he comes back and stocks up! :D

LOLOLOLOLOLOL :D

June 24.... already.

First day of school vacation is going well so far. My kids are all alive, and so am I, for now LOL

I've spent my day grocery shopping. Now, how can you spend a whole day shopping you ask? Well, I traveled 20 mins in one direction, and shopped at one store. Found some things my reg store doesn't sell and others were cheaper. After I brought them home and put them away, I was off 15 mins in the other direction to my reg store. I picked up the rest there. That took most of my day. Well that and puting them away. I also had to stop for crickets for Erin's lizzard and spider, and a mouse for her snake.

Time to go ride my bike, then do some cleaning.

Have a good one

Dar

Hi Dar! Sounds like you shop like I do. It always takes me a couple of days to finish my errands, or one full day..... seems like a lot, but I go to where the specials are and where I know they have things that we always use. The stores aren't so far apart that it's not a waste of gas to do that. I think it's really worth it.....

.....and just think of all the extra calories we're burning getting in and out of the car! lol Hope you have a great summer with your kids. I used to enjoy when mine were home until they got bored. 8-| Then I couldn't wait for school to start again. I still have one who gets bored easily and she's 26 years old. And I still tell her "I wasn't put on this earth to entertain you...." :laugh: ;)

Take care...... have a great rest of your day!

I don't have any close by stores, either. Luckily there is a really nice one on my way home from work. Since I've been working on weight loss, I go to the store almost every day to pick up something or another. I just find I want things fresh. I buy a couple of things at one store where they're on sale, then another day stop at a different store and get what they have on sale, etc. I know people with families can't do that, but it works for me! I know you've said you love grocery shopping, so maybe a whole day of it was fun? :D

Hope you got your bike ride in! I was planning to ride tonight after dinner, but it's sprinkling and chilly, and I'm not sure if I will go...

Lisrey :coach:

Hey girl...you are doing so well...keep it up and you know that weight will come off...does this plan moderate portion size?...or calories?...I am sure you are not overdoing it...plus you are so active...it will start coming off again soon enough!

Have a nice weekend!

mc

I hear the shopping deal, I'm at Wal- Mart, Sams Club, Costco, or Albertsons... Its crazy!

My boys get our of school today... Last day. My girls are already out and they are watching Jeepers Creepers int he other room and the sound of it is driving me buggy..

:hijacked: DJ - 26 and complaining to you about being bored :eyes: Good Lord... LOL

MAXI- I'm off to Costco tomorrow LOL Love that place too. That reminds me, I've got to bring in all my old film in so I can get them developed.(at costco)
I've seen Jeepers Creepers LOL Kindof a freaky movie if you ask me.

MC- No, on this plan I don't count cals. The one day I logged my food on fitday, and I was very low. I just mostly eat protein and veggies with fruit for breakfast. I was doing well with the weight loss, but maybe I just lost so much so fast that my body needs a break to catch up. I hope that's all it is. I know this plan works, cause I have lost weight, so time will tell.
As to portion size, I can eat as much as I want, but I find I don't eat big meals like I use to. I eat till I'm full not stuffed. Portions seem better now.

LISREY- I love getting groceries because I love food LOL. I feel so much better knowing I have lots of food around. I guess that's the compulsive overeater in me LOL. I did spend lots of time shopping, and I really did have fun. Some people like bars, I like grocery stores LOL.

DJ- I don't usually shop at different stores, but it's been so long since I was at the one store that I wanted to check it out. Got some deals, and got some stuff they don't sell at my reg store. I use to shop at the bigger store, but this new one opened, and they have such good deals that is just isn't worth it to shop anywhere else.

I'll have to remember that "I wasn't but on this earth to entertain you" That's a good one.


You guys ever hear of fish flys? Well, at the end of every May, till mid July, we are bombarded with them. They look sortof like a dragon fly, but smaller and they're body's wiggle. Oh, did I mention they smell like fish?
Well, they are so bad right now, that I can almost imagine the biblical story of the locusts. When the sun sets, they come out swarming. All you can hear are they're wings and it sounds like a hisssssing sound. The air smells like fish. The sky is black with them. When driving, it's like rain hitting your windshield. You have to be careful when braking under a street light. They are slippery and act like a sheet of ice. You walk on them and they pop. Walk through the grass, and the fly in all directions. I wake in the morning, and everything is covered in them. I have fish flys.

Ok, now that I've vented LOL

I still haven't gotten on my bike, so I'll go do that now.

Have a good one.

Dar

Hello, was visiting some journals and read yours about the fish flies. In Michigan where I am from originally my folks have a cabin on a lake. In May we would have to put up with May flies. They were terrible. your fish flies reminded me of them, tough I don't think they are the same thing because I don't remember May flies making a sound.

My biggest problem in the summe is just flies. I live on a farm in Nebraska. We have cattle and sheep. The flies are terrible. They BITE! You cannot even enjoy the outdoors. Plus they POOP on everything. You have never seen fly dirt until you have lived near a feed lot. I have wanted to screen in our front porch for a year and may just hire someone to do it. I cannot really even decorate around the outside of the house as the flies mess on everything!!!

Your shopping sounds like a good day with plenty of bargains. Sometimes I really enjoy a grocery store, but don't like the really busy ones.

Have a great day / weekend.

those fish flys sound gross ! keep them in your neck of the woods lol ;)

Have a wonderful weekend ! :D

Beth :not:

SBRAUN- I'll bet the May flies and the fish flies are one and the same. The sound is from their wings moving. Usually you can't hear it, but because there are so many, that's all you hear is a hissing sound. They actually come from the lake. Another name around here for them, is June bugs, but I hear that there is such a bug as a June bug, and these are not them. The name is still used for them though.
I never realized flies poop. Guess it only makes sense, but the fly dirt just isn't a problem here. Now spider dirt sure is.

BETH- You just might get a special gift :wink: My mom lives 45 mins away, and she doesn't really get fish flies, so when we go visiting this time of year, we usually bring a few hitch hikers along. I always bring her a few LOLOL. She hates them. Dan is afraid of them and freaks when they start flying all over.
These fish flies only last 24 hours before they die and they have no mouths so they don't bite. I think I could send you some and they'd still be alive when they got to PA LOLOLOL. :D

Took the kids out shopping today. Didn't buy anything really, just a gag gift for my uncle's pending 50th b-day.

Erin got some funky (80s retro) earings. I just might have to borrow them some time LOL. She also got a spring loaded earing to but through her lip/ eyebrow/ear. Which ever she wants. It's not real so it doesn't go through.

She's now looking at expanding the hole in her ear!!! You know, like some tribes in South America or Africa. She would have to buy different sizes to stretch her hole! Thinking Dan's not going to go for that one. Man, she does have some strange ideas.

I must admit, even though she has some strange tastes, she is a great kid. She got 4 "A"s, 3"C"s and the rest were "B"s on her report card. We weren't happy with the Cs, but she did have 9 Cs on the last term. She also ended up with a 97% in art. She is amazing at drawing.

Reilly who says he hates school 8-| got 8 As, and 7 Bs
Bry-Anne didn't get a mark this year, but she tells everyone she got strait "A"s LOL.

They all did well.

We'll be taking them to the African Lion Safari this summer. We can drive through were the animals are. I remember going there a few years ago, and the baboons had a field day with the rubber striping on the van in front of us LOL. They seem to like windshield wipers too LOL.
Dan was also trying to rile a rhino. It started to charge at our van, but he gave up thank God! I wanted to kill Dan. He had better not try anything like that again.

Any way, gotta get going.

Dar

WOW...sounds like an interesting trip!

I would enjoy that!

Hope you are having a great weekend!

I went shopping...so you know I did!

mc

Yes, May flies and fish flies do sound the same. These only live about 24 hrs., too. Yes, flies do poop as you could see if you ever saw the side of our house. Don't know why we did not brick it!!! I have to wash off the siding on the porch several times during the summer. Did you know a pressure washer will strip paint off a post or door but will NOT get fly poop off siding?!!!!

Sounds like you are busy with kids and have a fun summer trip planned. I am still hoping to get the boys to SD just north a few hours to visit DeSmet, one place Laura Ingalls Wilder lived. Have been there several times myself. Need to do it while they still might be at the right age.

Have a good week!!

SBRAUN- That would be a neat visit. I would have liked to have take my kids (my daughters in particular) to the home of Lucy Maude Montgomery (SP?) who wrote the Anne Of Green Gables novels. She lived in PEI, which is way over on the east coast. I had an aunt who lived there, but now that she's passed on, we have no other relatives there. I have a feeling my kids will have to take their kids now.

Reilly will start hockey school on the 12th. He goes everyday for a week. During that week, my mom wants to take Erin up north with her to visit my relatives. She's taking my grandmother for a visit, and thought it would be nice if Erin tagged along. I would love to go myself, but I know I can't. I really enjoyed our vacation there in 2002. I miss it terrable.
You know what else I'm "feeling" for right now? Hills. I know it sound silly, but our area is so flat, they say it's even more flat then the praries. I would love to travel somewhere with hills and lush greenery. Oh how I'm craving it. I am feeling caged up here.
I'll tell ya, if I didn't have responsiblities, I'd hitch all over north america and see the sights. I'm just dying to see something different. Now my mom brings this up, and I feel all the more caged up.
Ok, you'd swear TOM was coming or something, cause I'm all frustrated and teary eyed. :o

While I'm at it, I might as well tell you something else.
I must be going though some midlife crisis or something.
I am now listening to my daughters music. (punk, goth and alternative) My favorite bands (besides my boys BJ) are AFI, Lincon Park, Blink 182, Lost Prophets, Billy Talent and Evenecents. There are many more, but I'd bore you.
So, now listening to her stuff, I want to peirce my upper ear. I think body peircing is cool if worn tastfully. I want to wear rings on all my fingers and I dream of losing weight and wearing belly shirts and low riders.

Am I going nuts or what?

I am feeling like I need to kick back and let loose.

I'm afraid LOL

I know I'm not going anywhere, and I know I won't peirce my ear cause I'm a chicken.
Oh, and I have 29lbs to go before I cut 4" off my hair.

Yep, I'm so ready for change it isn't funny. I just everyone else is ready.

Guess I should scoot.

Have a good one.

Oh, really, can you tell me, am I really going nuts? Is this a mid life crisis? What the hell is going on with me? will it end? Or do I have to follow through before I find peace?

:help:

Dar

Got so caught up in myself, I forgot to say hi to you MC :wave:

So glad you had a good weekend. Maybe that's what I need to do to clear this out of my system..... a good shopping spree LOL

Dar

Lemme think is it Mid-Life... MMM dunno, BUt I do know that I love all those same bands and I couldn't seem to pull myself out of the store HOT TOPIC yesterday, I could buy all the clothes in there and where them.... Look them on Internet.

If you want to get your upper ear pierced DO IT... I did.... In fact I bought a earring for it yesterday that has little fake diamonds all the way around it.. Course that sucker hurt or bothred me for almost a year, Now it doesnt hurt.

Have you ever seen a JADED JENNY doll. I love those I want one. Am I a freak......? Maybe? Do I care. NOPE!

i love all those bands you listed too..so you, i and maxi are all going crazy together then :)
i dont think there is anything wrong with not wanting to get older and wanting to be cool! my kids think its good to have a mum who likes the same music as they do and can talk about stuff that they dont think mums know about lol..
hugs bell :)

You are not going nuts...I have my upper ear pierced...though its been that way for about 12 years...I listen to some of those bands too!

NOW...I am not interested in getting anything else pierced...though I did imagine having my brow pierced recently...but...pain...no thanks!

It will all come with more weight loss...all these things you want to do...some you will ... some you won't...but just knowing you can is good enough!

Have a good one!

mc

OK Maxi, I'll tell you what, when I lose 100lbs, I'll get my ear pierced. I already have a reward at 50lbs. I'll be chopping off 4" from my Yoko Ono look I'm sporting.
When I reach goal, I'm getting the rest gone :D I'm so ready for a style.

BELL- In one way, I think it's cool to think young. My daugher really likes that we listen to the same stuff, and she really like that I dig her style. I just don't want to be one of those old people to tries to hard to look/ feel/ stay young.

MC- I will brave the pain of an upper earing, when I hit the 100lb mark. If you all are that brave, I can be too.


Well, it was weigh in day. Lost another pound.

Lost 21lbs since May 11 04

I'm off, Dan is waiting for me.... as usual.

Take care

Dar

Congrats on another pound!

Hope you had a great day...things are picking up for me...3 schools have called for interviews...one I am very...very interested in...Yahoo!

mc

MC- I hope you get the job at the school you really want. That would be perfect.


Schools out and it's sleep in time :o Yep, I slept till almost 11 today. What a waste really, but I sure did enjoy it.

Been doing a bit of work around the house. Trying to get caught up on my laundry.

I'm feeling like I want to go out tonight. I might see if I can get away to bingo. I went the other day and won enough to play again. I'm still determined to win the $1000 jackpot one day. ONE DAY!

I don't usually go to bingo. I don't usually go anywhere. Maybe that's why I'm feeling like I'm living in a fish bowl suddenly.

I feel like need freedom. I really can't explain it. I almost feel like I can't breath.

I can't wait till November to go to Indianapolis.

You know what's not fair? Erin will be leaving in 2 weeks to go to Quebec with my mom. Oh how I wish I could go too. I mentioned it, not really asking to tag along, but she said she just wanted it to be her and Erin. Tough luck I guess.

I told Dan, next year I'll have my mom babysit for two weeks while we take off driving all over. We'll go where the road takes us.

For some reason, I want to see the Smokie Mountains, and the Grand Canyon. Hills, wouldn't you know it? LOL

Funny, I'm searching to find out who I am, and the harder I look, the weirder I seem to be LOL. I'm finding I really have no clue as to who I am. I thought I did, but I guess I thought I was the person I thought everyone else wanted me to be. I'm really trying to let go of HER and find me. I'm finding it hard, cause part of me doesn't want to shock anyone. You know, Dan married one "Darlene" I guess it really wouldn't be fair to change into another "Darlene" half way through, but I really can't help it. I need to find out who I really am and hopefully Dan will love the real "me" too.

Does any of that make sense?

Hope so

Anyway, my bike is calling

Take care

Dar

Hey Babes!

I so relate to what you are saying.. I go through up and downs of the same feelings. Sometimes I feel like this :caf: and others I am the Zoloft Bubble.

I can't wait for you to get your hair cut, I bet you'll just love it..... hen I get to goal I want Boobs, as mine seem to have retired, regardless of what the pic looks like... They really did go south for all seasons. Nothing a GOOD BRA can't help. But sometimes I want to just set them Free.... LOL.......without them hitting the ground.

You are doing awesome..... :cheer: Congratz to the POUND GONE!!! GONE GONE!!!!

Hi ....:wave:

I just read your post .... AND IMO YOU MAKE A GREAT DEAL OF SENSE ... first of all I think you are suffering from a severe case of CABIN FEVER ... I too get that feeling .... and at times I BECOME VERY DISSATISFIED WITH MY LIFE ... I miss not working .... lol IN TRUTH I MISS THE ADDED INCOME after a while I can't talk myself into being practical I WANT TO BE TOTALLY IMPRACTICAL AND JUST BUY SOMETHING WITHOUT FIGURING OUT THE WHY'S AND WHAT IFS ....

I think the change YOU ARE MAKING IS WONDERFUL .... IT MEANS YOU'RE GETTING SMARTER .. AND REALIZING AND VALUING YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE .. I hear what you say about BEING ALL THINGS TO OTHERS . .... Someone once said to me IT ISN'T BEING SELFISH TO BE THE PERSON YOU WERE MEANT TO BE ....

You lost a pound that is spectacular ... :cheer: HERE'S TO THE POUND LOST AND FOR ALL THE POUNDS YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE :cheers: Make it a great evening AND KEEP MOVING FORWARD ON CREATING THE PERSON YOU WERE MEANT TO BE. As always, Monica

i have thought the very same feelings as you Dar...just when i think i know who i am i realise that i really dont at all but more of which role i take and how it defines me..i am someones mother, someones daughter, someones partner...when can i just be ME? whoever the heck that is...
i know where you are coming from...i dont think you have to be worrying about becoming a different Darlene than the one Dan married...you need to find yourself for YOU :)
i was thinking of you and maxi today when i was doing my weights class...the instructor was teasing me because as my biceps were screaming in pain i was singing to the song and ignoring the pain...it was Linkin Park...she was surprised that i was the only one who knew the song! we are COOL! i agree about not wanting to be a try hard to stay young type..but it doesnt mean we have to get our walking sticks out yet sweetie and retire to the rocking chairs!
hugs bell :)

The Smoky Mountains & the Grand Canyon are both fabulous places to visit, Fleur. I have a lot of warm fuzzy childhood memories from Cumberland Gap in the Smokies. I think I missed something -- what's in Indy?

The part about figuring yourself out makes sense to me, too. Especially because when we met we talked about how we both got married young. My Sweetie & I were totally different people when we got married. It has taken a long time for each of us to figure ourselves out, and now we don't have as much in common as far as interests. We do have history, though, and that's really important. I'm sure it's even moreso when you have kids. You'll be fine. What matters is that you do take the time to find your true self, and love that self! :x

Hope you had a great bike ride! I hope to get my first ride of this week in tomorrow night...

Lisrey :*

OMG you guys. I love your posts. I'm really in tears here :o You gals are are the best. Thank you so much for understanding and making me feel somewhat normal in this crazy time.

I've come to realize something very important. It is so simple, and it's something I've known all along, but I can truely believe now. I CAN LIVE FOR TODAY. I can do any friken thing I want. I can go run screaming my head off down the street if that's what I want to do. I can do it now! Not when I'm thin. I can roller blade now! Not later. I can live NOW!!! Everything I've always done has been for the future. I want it NOW!

I've been saying In God's Time, alot, and I still believe that, but that's only for things I can't control. I can control what I do with my life TODAY!
God! How could I have been so slow????

I want to experiance the world in every way.

I know I can't take off to the smokies, or any other hilly place right now. Money problems just won't let me do that. My hair and the earing are goals, so they will have to wait too. But damn it, I will live "out there" rather then mearly exsist.

I really can't wait to see what this day will bring. I want to do something right now, just cause I CAN!

MAXI- Girl, you are so damn funny!!! Zoloft bubble :laugh:
You are truely an inspiration to me. A good bra is what I'll get LOL Seriously, You have inspired me so much in so many ways. A million thankyous wouldn't ever be enough.

MONICA- HA HA! I think you're right, I am getting smarter LOL. I also believe you're right about cabin fever, and that has lead me to see the "truth" I descibed above.
Thanks for your words of wisdom and encouragment.

BELL- Funny where you hear these bands LOL I hear their songs in the background of tv shows all the time. Man, you must have had some workout if you were doing it to Linkin Park. I was thinking of making a CD of all my favorite songs and doing a homemade workout to it.
You are right, I don't need a walking stick or rocking chair just yet. I have to much to do first. I've got lots of living ahead of me.
I know I wear many hats as mot