Okay, this is it. I am going to stop this mad binging monster that is inside me and I will squash this urge to just sit on the couch in front of the television. I can do this!!!

For my Bday yesterday I decided I was going to eat all the things that I haven't had in awhile. That is what I have always done to make myself feel good and it did just that. NOT

It is really funny how much better things taste when you only treat yourself with something once in a while insted of everything all day. It started out at the movies where my girls and I ate an extra large buttered (yellow colored grease) popcorn. The first couple of bites were really good but by the time the movie was over I thought I was going to throw up..How good it that. YUM

Then on we went to Taco Bell where I just needed to get that last taste out of my mouth. Well that bean borrito with cheese really helped...NOT That just added the bloat to the nauseated feeling. Then on to Wal mart where I thought I should try those new Toll House Cookie candy bars. Really bad choice. If I was going to waste my cals on something at least I should have gotten good chocolate. 8-|

After Walmart I took the girls to their gymnastics where they were busy working off all that popcorn and I sat and watched for three hours while I had a chocolate chip cookie. Much better than the candy bar but it was an old cookie. WOW when I get something in my mind I will do anything to continue that fun.

I knew for my Bday celebration we were going to have hamburgers for dinner.
They were okay but since I was sick already, it just didn't seem to have the same appeal to me. Dessert came next. My favorite ice cream! Oh goodie, by then I was starved. Again the word "NOT" comes to mind. Ate the biggest bowl of that I could get. Now that was good but when you are full up to your nose, its hard to stuff that much in.

Just had to step on the scale this morning. 8-| Three pounds up from yesterday. WOW What fun I had.

Poor stomach will never be the same.

I am going to join Curves today and will do it while the girls are at thier gym so I am not just sitting. I will drink at least 80 oz of water a day.
No sugar, and 1200 cals a day. I have lost 32 pounds and want to get going again. I have done so well, I will not give up! This is January to me all over again. I have that positive attitude of when I first started.

One thing that was funny about yesterday. My new eating habits are really engrained in my mind. I had to conciencely make myself eat those terrible things and unlike any time before there were little good things I did for myself.
Like getting a diet drink, eating my low cal breakfast, drinking water. I know that might seem like no big deal but it showed me that this plan is starting to get to be part of my life and not some quick weight loss thing that I will stop the minute I lose the weight.

My cholosteral has come down from 202 to 160 and my husband couldn't be happier. He is so excited that I am getting healthier.

This is a new start and a better start because I will be exercising more than before. My new day has just begun. :D

Ann :cheer:

Happy belated birthday, mom... aka ann! lol I didn't realize it was your birthday.

Isn't it funny that food stops tasting good to us when we overindulge. That was one of the first things I noticed and that was my food started to taste better once I "de-junked". A very strange feeling after using food in the wrong way and for the wrong thing for so long....

I think you are doing a great thing for yourself by joining Curves! I just know you're going to love it..... can't wait to hear what you think about it.

It was great seeing you in chat and I look forward to seeing more of you and seeing "less" of you while I'm seeing more of you........ LOLOL did that make sense? I know that extra 3 pounds is more than likely water weight and it'll be gone before you know it!

Just stay determined, take things one day at a time and I know you'll see the results that you want to see. Take care and see you today at 3!

Twins,

I just love your new journal!!! Your first post will be a great reminder to you of what unhealthy eating tastes and feels like.

I look forward to being here for the next 30 also. Good going!!!

Can hardly wait to hear about your first workout at Curves.

You were right, my abs did hurt a bit today, lol. A good feeling though.

See ya soon.

Thanks Dj and Nancy for the positive comments. I am still doing great so far today and that is something coming from the day I had yesterday. I know I can do this!! :D

Good for you, you must be feeling better as your body has gotten rid of all that 'stuff' yesterday.

Sounds like you had some fun though, that is great.

I hope to be in morning chat the rest of this week. See ya there.

Glad you are having a great day! Those are nice, aren't they? lol

I know you can do it, too! Glad you joined the support group, too. It's really great, isn't it?

Hi Ann! I can't wait to get home and start going to the gym...it's a great feeling and stuff. I can't wait to hear how everything goes.

Best of luck to you with your renewed commitment, twinsmom!
You can do it! :mus:

:*¨`*:·.*-:¦:-*·:*¨`*:·. Happy Belated Birthday :*¨`*:·.*-:¦:-*·:*¨`*:·.

I am glad you started a journal. I am curious how it goes with Curves.

Aria, Tess, Kms, Dj and Nancy, You guys just make my day with all this support. Thanks for the visit. Curves was wonderful and it went really fast. I think it is going to be the kind of gym that you really want to go to insted of dread it. I can't wait to get measured again and see if it really works. If it can get rid of some of this loose skin that will be wonderful. I haven't had much energy so I am hoping that this helps.

Dj, I am on your team in the challenge. We will win this! I am going to post my exercise mins in the forum right now. Exercise, Exercise.

Twins,

So great to see you so excited!!!! That is awesome!!!


I think once you get going for a while you will really start to feel your energy level start to come up. It will be so nice for you.

Just remember, work up a bit at a time, don't overdo it. That just leads to injury and then you have to stop and give yourself time to heal. Not a pleasant experience, as you can tell it has happened to me. So, allow yourself time to work up to doing your best.

Your girls will be surprised to see their mom getting stronger and toned. They will see that exercise and proper food is the way to go, not crash diets and laying around. What a great example you are!!!

And of course hubby will like Twins with more energy too, oops, can't believe I said that. LOL.

Lol Nancy, he would like it if I had more energy :o I just love going to curves. It is so fun and the best part is it is fast. They don't even give you time to get sore. By the time the machine starts to hurt alittle you go to the next exercise.

My food intake has also been great. It is good to be back on track. I hope to post a loss this week. It seems like I have been at the same weight for weeks and weeks. hey, I think I HAVE been at the same weight for weeks and weeks. Oh well, thats okay. I am only going down from here. Can't wait to be in the 140s. It has been so long since I have been there. SOON


Ann

:shifty: You can RUN but you cant hide..... I seeeee you........! :caf:

Well hey there chicky..... I'm here to support YOU! WE WILL DO THIS!!!!

Hey I just seen your pictures you are one HOT MAMA.....!

sounds really good twins,

I don't want to 'rain on your parade' and I hope you do lose but remember ahead of time that now that you are exercising you are building MUSCLE and that is fantastic and will make a big difference in the long run but at first, even when you are losing fat, you are also building muscle and at first that may not show up on the scale. Muscle weighs more than fat, so when you start to realize that you are getting stronger, maybe losing inches but can't figure out why the scale is not going down, remember, you are losing fat because if muscle weighs more and you weren't losing fat you would be gaining weight. Right! Confusing? haha, hope it isn't too bad.

Be strong my friend!!! :lift:

YUCKY, I want to lose weight not gain weight. I know you are right about the muscle, Nancy. And you know me with my obsessive weighing. I am , of course, up two pounds today. Wow, I guess I have really hit my first plateau. This is not fun at all. It is so hard when you are being good, to not lose when you step on the scale. My body is just trying to make me crazy.

The only thing I am really doing different is drinking one diet drink a day. Maybe I should cut those out. I did curves again yesterday and I think I am pooping out a bit today becasue I pushed it a little more than I should have for my first week. It is okay, since I have three days to rest before I go back

Mother's day didn't go too well eating wise. TOM is here and when I feel bad I eat. Thats okay because I feel better today and yesterday was yesterday. Today is a new day and I haven't given up I just gave in a bit. i will do this and today I will do it better than the other days and tomorrow better than that. I am going to start recording what I eat so maybe I can keep track of it better.

Ann

I think I am back on track. One day at a time is best. Yesterday went really well and so is today. I didn't get to go exercise because I thought one of my girls had a soccer game. I will go today and maybe do a few more stations to make up. I got on the scale this morning and I was back down to my lowest weight even though TOM is still visiting. Maybe that means I have actually lost a pound. That would be great. It would be the first pound under my lowest weight in a month. Here is what I ate yesterday.
grits 200
apple
orange
peanut butter sandwich
low cal frozen dinner
pretzels 225 Cals
4 oz beef
diet dr. pepper
apple

Today Tuesday

Grits 200
orange 100
peanut butter sandwich 360

Hey, Twins, Congrats on getting back down to your lowest, that is GREAT!!!!

Sorry I haven't been around much, I had such a crazy busy end of the week and weekend. Things seem to be easing off now, or back to normal anyways so that is nice.

Take care.

Twins, how are you doing? Guess what, I went for my walk today, had a really good one. Thanks for keeping an eye on me. :)

I also did some abs. I did about 25 of regular crunches and then did some twists for the obliques, and boy, what a wimp those muscles are, lol. I only did 10 and felt a little disappointed with myself. And then I 'told' myself, hey, don't worry about it, you are just starting out and 10 is just fine. You will get better and better, just keep at it. LOL, then 'myself' felt better.

Oh, did you try the Nutrawatch food diary. I checked it out more tonight and it is not too bad. I think I still like fitday better but at least it is something. At least they have a free version.

A couple of people responded to my message in the pub and suggested calorieking.com also. But it costs $19.99 a year.

We will keep trying to figure it out.

Take care

NANCY, way to go girl! Just getting started is the hard part. You are doing great! Those muscles will scream at you for awhile but they will get used to it. I tryed the site last night and I think it works great. I just want a calorie count not anything else so it is fine. THANKS!

I FINALY GOT DOWN MY POUND YEAH!!!!!!!!!! I am now in the 140's I can't believe I finaly did it. It only took me a month to start moving down past my lowest but it happened. I haven't been this low in 12 years. I don't know why one stupid pounds makes that much of a difference but it does. I have been faithfully going to curves. I am hopeing that when soccer is over it will be easier for me to get there and I won't feel so rushed. HAPPY DAY! :D

CONGRATULATIONS, Ann!!!! WOOHOO! One pound is great...... keep doing that week after week and you'll be down to goal in no time!

It's great to know that you love Curves so much! I have one really close to my house and intend to go one of these days.

Take care, GOOD JOB, and have a great weekend! You're doing a super job!

Thank you Dj :hug: You should really try curves. It is so fast and fun. We are going to win the challenge. GO GREEN :cheer:

Ann

As soon as we can afford it, I'm definitely going! I'm so glad you like it.....

GO GREEN! GO GREEN! Have a good evening!

Twinsmom, I would love to go to the gym but I have to do it at home. I have no time and with the baby here it is hard. I am doing pretty good at home though. Keep up the good work at curves! :D Sounds like you are doing great. On your stats are you now down to 125? That is my final goal between 130 and 125. I'm at 155 now and know I can do it with all of your help, it has been great to be here. I just wanted to thank you for all of your help here and in chat! :D

Hey Twins,

HOw are you doing? Boy, glad I got to chat with you the other day as I have missed morning chats alot. Boohoo!!!

But will be back asap.

I didn't walk Sunday or MOnday but got back out tonight and did an extra long one, 60 minutes, Whew!!!.

I was very tired when I got home but did my stretches and had some water and am feeling much better now.

Hope to meet up with you soon. I should be on line for chat tomorrow night!!!!

Kari- thanks for the post. I really, really wish I was 125 now! What a nice thought that is but I am at 159 now. My goal is 125. I was 125 for about a week when I was 17, about a million years ago so I have posted a realist goal. NOT But I would like to get there anyway. You are doing great! I know it must be hard to make time for yourself when you have a baby but you just have to do it. Hope I see you in chat again soon.

Nancy- Way to go on the walk! I think I would pass out if I walked for an hour. Unless it was shopping in the mall. LOL You are doing so great since you have started your new plan. I wish I could say the same for me. I have not been in here posting my cals or anything. I do good one day then bad the next. I am keeping up with the exercise, so I am happy about that. I don't know if that is just making me hungrier or what. I think it is all mental but everyday when I wake up I try to do better and that is all I can do.
I hope I see you in chat tonight. We get home late but I will try.

Okeee so is it 149 or 159......huh ... NOT THAT IS MAAATERS.... just wonderin..... :shifty:

I did really well on the diet yesterday. At least I think I did. I just can't make myself write anything down. I know that I didn't binge and that is a plus. Went to curves and really pushed myself yesterday and hope to do the same today. I can't wait to be measured. I sure hope I have lost some inches since the weight doesn't seem to be doing much. I miss those weeks that I was losing two pounds at a time. I guess those days are over and I will just have to be content with a couple of pounds a month. 8-|

I have the same goal twinsmom. I am at 155 now and need to get down to either 130 or 125. I will get there it just may take me more time than I have figured. I'm going to try to get on track this summer and excercise a lot. I love to be in the water and outside so hopefully that will help.

You asked about excercising with the baby, actually it is pretty easy, I wait until he is sleeping to do my bowflex and when he is awake he loves to go for walks. It is the 4 year old that is difficult, ha. Anyway I'm starting work soon so I will not be in chat any longer but I hope to keep up with the journals, we will see.
:shrug:

Hey twins,

We finally met up again, whoohoo!!!

Thanks for the chat last night it was great.

HOpe you are having a good day.

P.S. Control that food, don't let it control you!!!

Okay, so after not losing for a month I am down 2 1/2 pounds in one day. I ate a 1000 cals yesterday just to see if that would do anything. Must be all water but If I don't weight again I can take it as a real loss. LOL I guess I will have to get the kids to hide the scale. We are going hiking in the mountains this weekend so that should drop the weight also.

Hey Twins,

Now just enjoy the 2.5 pound drop and have a good weekend, no second guessing yourself!!! LOL

It has been great to chat again this week. I hope you have a great weekend.

Congrats on the 2 1/2 pound drop! I stopped in because I have 2 young kids (not twins, they're 17 months apart) and I know it's hard to lose weight with 2 munchkins to take care of

Hey Twins,

How are you doing after your big weekend in the mountains? Any sore muscles?
Did hubby find some antlers? I saw them make a really neat light out of antlers on Trading Spaces(I think) once. Very cool.

Hope you are doing good today. I imagine you needed to sleep in and I did a bit too.

Oh, right, today is a holiday for you all. Well, enjoy it and see you tomorrow morning hopefully.

Thanks Thin and Crazy for the visit! I did great hiking this weekend. I put my husband and kids to shame. They could not believe that I could walk straight up the mountain and I was even running sometimes. I can't believe that I could do it either. I wasn't even sore after 2 days and one hike was 4 hours. I don't know if it is the 35 pounds that I have lost or Curves that has given me so much energy. Who would have thought that I would want to go hiking with my family. I am so excited to be healthy! :D

Twins,

That is so exciting!!! Good for you!!!!

That is just the boost you need to start a new month. Go for it!!!

I just wanted to stop by and tell you thanks so much for being here these past few months. I have appreciated it so much. Especially our chats, they have been so good for me. And I really needed it this spring.

( I have tears streaming down my face right now) You have been a great encouragement to me and your friendship has meant so much. Thanks again.

Have a great day!!!

Oh my gosh Nancy, now I am going to cry. I need to be telling you thank you for always being there for me. You were the first person I thought of as I was walking straight up this big hill. I couldn't wait to tell you how good I did. What a great friend you have been to me! We are both lucky that we found such a wonderful support buddy and friend. We are doing great!!!!! We just need to keep it up until we get to goal. Exercise, Exercise, Exercise!!!! We can do it.

Stopping by to say hi, and thanks for the chat this morning. You guys are so much fun! I am so glad I found you all! Hope to get to know you more. :)

You Rock Ann! I have started a little bit of jogging with my walking, nothing too taxing, but it does help to keep my heart rate up.

I have been enjoying the summer so far. I will go to my son's baseball game tomorrow evening.

Also, I am back home from visiting my parents farm. I did not gain! YIPPEE!! It is hard staying on track when I am traveling, but the scale did not move up.

I look forward to getting back into morning chat.

Hugs!

Thanks for the visit Jessi and Tess. I am feeling pretty weak these days. I do really good one day then back to the binge the next. I wish I could get that motivation that I had when I first started. I was so good then. NOt that I am bad now I just don't like myself much when I lose control of my eating. I fell so helpless and like a naughty little kid that is trying to pull something over on someone. I came downstairs and had another candy bar last night so no one would see me. The only person I am hurting is myself. What destructive behavior and I was so full I didn't even want it . I just wanted to be able to have it. I will try again tomorrow and hope things go better. Maybe if I do alot of yard work.

Hi Anne,

I've been there before. Ate like 4 or 5 candy bars all in one sitting. Actually made myself so sick, I ended up vomiting, and that was no fun at all. But I was feeling "sorry" for myself because my body isn't one of the type that burns calories while staring into space. Furious because all of my adult life has been one diet after another because I can't be just me and eat when and as I wish. So on occasion I too would "binge" eat. The problem is we are punishing no one but ourselves. And it's not our fault that our bodies work the way they do, that part is genetics. But there is no one to really blame for it, so we beat ourselves up instead. Now, how smart is that?

Odd thing is, we really aren't stupid either. Just frustrated to near death and full of anger and resentment. Well, that serves us no good purpose either. I guess the only thing left is to "grow up" and behave ourselves, and just do what must be done. eh?

I just read about your hiking trip and how well you did and how wonderful you felt that you actually did that well. You need to capture those moments, and hold on to them to remind you WHY you are losing the weight and exercising in the first place. So that you can continue to go on more hiking trips with your family and have such a wonderful time doing it. Now is NOT the time to allow negative thinking through the door of your mind at all.

I just happened to be passing through, saw your Journal and thought "why not, go say hello to Anne." So that's what I did. Now you have a great weekend, and I to hear on Monday how you kicked this little binge setback thingie. OK?

:hug:

Thanks for the positive words Sandie. I do need to just quit whinning and feeling sorry for myself when I binge. So I binged. Get over it. Go on and get back on the diet and lose the weight.

It is a vicious cycle. You binge you get down about it and you binge more then before you know it you have quit your diet and are gaining all the weight back that you lost.

How stupit is that. I have worked way to hard to let a little binging get me too side tracked. I just need to know that those times will happen and maybe just enjoy the food I am eating insted of feeling guilty and not even noticing what I am putting in my mouth. I get so caught up in that I am going to have this food and no one can stop me that sometimes I am eating just to eat.

I guess all those years of people telling me what I should eat and what I shouldn't because I have always had a weight problem. I need to think about me and my health and not think that I am getting away with something. They are not here anymore to watch me. I am just hurting myself, not doing something good. That is hard to get in my thick head.

I can do this!!!

That is right, Ann. I am coming to the conclusion that there are going to be bad days just as there are sunny days and "icky" days. I have the power to stay in the rut or move on.

You are absolutely right...sometimes I go out for pizza and the other night I went with the husband and kids cuz we were celebrating something...so we went out to dinner...then my son had this thing...I think I spent more time obsessing about the pizza BEFORE we got there...and while we were there...I was eating a piece of pizza and noticing I wasn't even "thinking about the pizza" I was thinking about work and hadn't even noticed I was eating the pizza...I don't even think I tasted it.
I started thinking about that right then and there. Then I wondered how many other times I do that. The flavor of the thing NEVER measures up to the "anticipated flavor" anyway.
That is so wierd.
The whole time I'm bingeing I'm thinking bad about it and how "wrong it is"...but before the binge...all I can think about is the binge food and how good it would taste.
It never lives up to it's expectation...and you never really "enjoy" the binge...then after you feel like a failure...and feel so dang bad, you wonder why you'd ever want to binge again...I know binges cycle..I just can't figure the stupid cycle out. I have tried, but I don't know. Maybe it's hormonal, or chemical or just crazy...but I can't figure it out...sometimes I binge smart and sometimes when I'm in binge mode, I could care less how many calories something has.
I don't care....from now on...I'm gonna just know that I have tendencies to binge...and just not. I'm going to come back here and read this post.
You know, Ann, the thing is...we can run a household, most of us are intelligent, educated business women, we are successful in almost every other area of our lives...and it must bewilder you, the same as me...that we are so crazy and out of balance and out of control in this particular area.
When I was little I didn't care about this stuff...and my mom was always on a diet and it never worked and she is almost 80 and still fat...I keep thinking...do I want to waste ALL THAT TIME obsessing about food and weight to no avail, the way she has? Or am I "REALLLLLLLLY" going to make it?
Will I be one of the blessed ones? Will I really?
So know you are not alone, Ann. I'm sure you already do, but I'm so danged tired of beating myself up...I constantly kick my own a**! I came out of an abusive backround only to abuse myself. That is sick. :(

What a great post Jessi! I know I will come back and read it when I feel like binging.

If is funny how you never really enjoy the binge. Then the guilt afterward is horrible. Food is really not worth all that worry. It always seems like it is going to taste so good but most of the time it doesn't live up to the great thing that you have made it in your mind.

If you really have to have the food I think it is good to just have a bite of someone elses. That way you can really savor that one bite and enjoy it without the guilt and it tastes so much better when you don't eat so much of it you get sick.

Yesterday was the first day that I have not had junk food in about a week or so. I wanted a candy bar last night but didn't have it. Today has been good to. I feel like an alchoholic...one day at a time...one hour at a time. I do feel very poud of my self that I have made it without giving in to the urges. I can do this.

Back to Curves I go on Monday. I need to build up my muscles. When you think about a pound of fat burns about 6 cals an hour and a pound of muscle burns about 50. I need and want more MUSCLE!!!

It's very true what you're saying... sometimes I've even eaten food I didn't even like very much, I just felt I "had" to have it. But while I ate it, I didn't really enjoy it, AND I felt guilty about it.

Hi Anne...Just wanted to say "hi" and say that I enjoyed chatting with you and the others on Friday night. I see that you homeschool...I am planning on doing the same starting this fall. Would love to hear your views and opinions and anything else that goes along with it.

You are doing great...way to go with staying away from the junkfood! I am like you in that sense...it is the hardest for me to stay away from, but...If you don't have it there, you can't eat it! :o

Have a great day Anne....
Take care,
AJ

:shifty: Hello....... How are you.......? Haven't been in to roust you lately so thought I would stop in...... GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I also homeschool! We should start a group for homeschooling/exercising/fit moms and kids! LOL...We really need that, though. Homeschooling in itself is hard to keep motivated, but dieting and exercising motivation, TOO????? What do we expect from ourselves???
Then husbands come along and expect us to be great with them too??? I'm spreading myself way tooooooo thin....wish my body would respond, too! LOL...Great chatting with you this morning...I hope to be able to do that again.
Take care! :D

Well we went out to dinner Thursday night and it was Mexican food. I always over eat when we do that. It was good but I felt like my stomach was going to bust. Well Saturday I lost 5 pounds in one day. Needless to say I was very very very sick. UGH! I am better today but I sure wish that weight would stay off :( I know that would be too much to hope for since it was all water but...I can dream. I am back at it today and maybe some good will come of this horrible virus.

It was so nice chatting with you today! Boy it was nice to put off the chore of doing dishes for a while! LOL

My son is out tonight, I gave him til eleven, but now I wish I would have told him nine! I'm sooooo tired...lol.
I am contemplating calling him and asking him to plllleaaase come home at 10:30. Poor kid...Momma's so tired!
Must have been all the playing we did today! Have a good night and thanks again for the chat. Hope you are feeling better. :)

Ah Ann, dont get so down on yourself. You have already lost quite a bit of weight, and you will reach your goal. It will never come off as fast as we would like, its a battle, and all we can do it keep trying. I know about the weight fluctuations and at time they are motivation, and other times they are frustrating. I have to get used to them still and take in consider different factors when I read a scale. I ate out last week then yesterday through me all off, I just have to remember if I dont eat as healthy as I should, that it doesnt mean I should give up, but work that much harder. You can do it!!!

Thanks Elsie and Jessi for visiting my journal. It is always great chatting with you both. My wonderful 5 pounds that I lost in a day is all back but one pound. Maybe it will stay off if I am really lucky. I have been doing good on the food side and not eating too much. I need to get back to fitday now that I can get back into the site. I will drink more water today. I think that will help the weight come off better. I always seem to forget that. :(

Hey Woman....

Water and fruit have been my saing grace as of late.... Water, is alsoso good for your skin and overall health... Drink up.... I hate drinking anything so this is a chore for me, but i am seeing the benefits!

Hey Twins,

I got your pm, sorry you have been worrying about me. Things are going fine here.

I actually got rid of my journal. I think I just felt like I needed something else for a while. I have been posting in others journals and of course try to chat as often as I can.

I need to get to the grocery store today and get some good stuff. Just don't feel like there is much in the house.

Well, wanted to let you know that I am alive, lol. Hope to meet up in chat sometime soon.

WoW, I just keep going down hill.

When I think of gaining all this weight back that I have worked so hard to lose it almost makes me sick. I am eating when I am not hungry, eating just to eat and eating all the wrong things. I feel like I am falling off this cliff and I can't stop myself.

I need to just get a grip and "just do it". I feel so much better and I can do so much more than I could before. The way I eat when I am eating healthy makes me feel so good. Life is too short to feel horrible because you eat junk all the time.

I love the junk and it is fun to eat but that last such a short time. I was really loving that feeling I had when I would resist the junk. I felt so powerful and proud of myself. That feeling is so much better than any food can give me so why do I do the bad stuff.

Am I not worthy of that good feeling? Am I punishing myself for something?

What goes through my mind? I decide I want that ice cream and I get this angry, no one can stop me from having this, kind of thought. It is so rebellious. Who am I showing that I can do what I want even if they think I shouldn't. There is no one here telling me I can't have something. All I am going against is myself telling me I can't have it. Do I have a split personality that I don't know about? I am only hurting myself.

Oh Twins, I wish I could just come over and have a good visit with you. It is so hard sometimes isn't it. But I know you will get back on track, we always do, we don't want this weight and we certainly deserve to be free of it and to be happy and free!!!!!!!

Sorry I haven't been around much to cheer you on and encourage you. I see that you have found my new journal so maybe we can connect better now.

I will be able to be in morninf chat most of next week so hope to meet up with you then too.

Take care, you are definitely worth!!!! You are a great friend, and a wonderful mom and wife. Hang in there.

Anne, we all struggle between the real us and our flesh...that is the dilemma of man. It's not just you....We ALL have that!
When we do what we know we should and what I call "the real me wants"...then I am doing great, but when I cave to the flesh...the earthly desire...then I feel miserable and crappy.
I'm not pushing slimfast or nothing, and I certainly do NOT feel that it's for everyone, but why don't you at least keep a box of snack bars around or something...so if you want a treat, you can have it without feeling guilty and know you are giving yourself vitamins...
When I want something "real junky" I eat those Italian Ice things...they are only 40 calories...but FEEL like a MILLION! (I think everyone knows what they are...they are made by Wyler's...and they are in a plastic tube...and are like koolaid and you freeze them...)
Also I keep sugar free pudding around to dip bananas...and frozen grapes...and all kinds of fruits and vegies...like salads...and stuff.

Ann....... {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} you are definitely WORTHY of feeling good physically and good about yourself. I hope you don't mind my sharing a few things with you that work for me.....

One thing I did was to make a list of "things to do instead of eating". Get a timer and set it for 15 minutes and do one of the things on the list. Usually the urge to eat will go away in 15 minutes. If it doesn't, it might be you are really hungry and getting something healthy might be the answer.

Another thing is depriving myself...... that just doesn't work for me. For some dumb reason, every time I say I can't have something I seem to want it all the more. :shrug: Go figure..... Take ice cream for example. I love it. Summer is the best time of year to have it. BUT..... instead of having the kind of ice cream that will wreck your diet, look for the "no sugar added" ice creams or the Blue Bunny products that are made with Splenda and very little sugar. They make a vanilla yogurt ice cream that is from their splenda line and it honestly tastes just like homemade ice cream. Here's a couple of links to show you how healthy they are. They also have a line of FF stuff and low fat/low sugar stuff, too. It's a great selection!

Blue Bunny home page: (http://www.bluebunny.com)

Fat free NO sugar added stuff (http://www.bluebunny.com/products/detail.cfm?cat=Premium&subcat=No%20Sugar%20Added%20Reduced%20Fat%20Ice%20Cream)

....and the point is that if you find something to replace the "junk" you're eating, you won't feel deprived and you're still getting healthy stuff in you! It's the best of both worlds....

For me, giving up most sugar (refined) was a biggie. It litterally cut out my food cravings..... and we use a lot of sugar free/fat free puddings (you can make awesome FF/SF banana cream pies etc.) and pudding pops out of the same SF/FF puddings. Popsicles out of SF jello..... or just buy SF popsicles, etc. You get my gist. If you aren't adverse to SF stuff, then it's a great alternative. As far as chips go, we eat the WOW chips. NO fat and 75 calories an ounce. And they taste just like real potato chips. I can have them with a sandwich at lunch and not feel the least bit guilty.

Don't forget to drink lots and lots of water, too. If you have trouble with that, there are lots of flavored waters out there and Crystal Lite if you don't mind the sweetner. They just came out with an "orange juice" and "grapefruit juice" flavor and not only do they taste just like juice, they even LOOK like the juice! LOL.... sometimes I feel like I've had too much sugar after drinking a glass of it and have to remind myself that I just had Crystal lite, no sugar no calories!

Just try not to be too hard on yourself..... I know it's easier said than done, but patience is something I've had to learn and still have to practice over and over again with relearning how to be healthy. I know you can do it.... it's just a matter of finding something that really works for you. That's been a God send for me..... finding and adapting a program that's healthy and something I can definitely live with for the rest of my life and not feel deprived or unhealthy.

Take care of yourself and don't stop writing about how you're feeling either.. sometimes it feels easier to just stop coming to dt when you're having a hard time, but that's probably when you need to be here the very most. I've been where you are, so that's proof that things can be changed around..... I was a hard case to crack, so if I can do it, I KNOW you can! :o

Nancy, thank you for always being there for me. I always know you will read what I wrote and have something postive to say to me. It is so good to know that someone cares about what you do on the diet and is there to help and not critisise. Thank you!

Jessi, my new friend, you always make me think with all those deep thoughts that you have. I like to go back and read what you have written because there are always so many motivational things for me to reflect on.

Dj, I never mind any helpful hints! I am up for any inspiration I can get. Just reading your post kept me busy through my normal hard binging part of the day. LOL
I too do better when I don't have any sugar. I can't seem to have small portions of anything these days. I bought the low fat ice cream and I had about 3 servings with chocolate pored on top. Until I get to goal I just need to abstain from the goodies all together. I want to lose 20 more pounds but even 10 would do. Once I get there I think even if I go crazy now and then I can still maintain.


Anyway, sorry to go on and on. Just reading your post and writing back has gotten me through a tough day. Thanks girls! :D

Could someone please email me and tell me how to post my messsages on the board. Thanks dreemkatcher_007@webtv.net

Twins,

It is so good to be in contact again, even if not in chat all the time.

I have missed being here in your journal, I will not be so 'far' away again.

Glad you are feeling a bit better, and yes, sometimes I think we just need to keep certain things away. It may train our taste buds to not 'demand' it or it may just teach us a bit of self control. Who really knows. I guess once we get on the 'other' side of these weight issues we will have learned something. Well, I hope I do anyways, lol.

That is why it is nice to have people like Tess, Judy2 and others here who have been very successful and keeping it off.

Well, just wanted to say hi, I will try and come again soon. Take care.

Twins, I know you are out there!!!!

I am missing my friend!!! :c(

I AM HERE! :D Nancy, you made me smile this morning. That is the cutiest picture. I am here but have not been on diet talk when anyone else is.

I have met one of my goals today. I made it to 40lbs lost. I am so thankful that I have started losing again. We also excepted an offer on our house so I guess I may get to another goal if we have to be done with the house and out of here in a month. Maybe I won't have time to eat too much.

I hope everything is going well for you. You are such a good friend and I am so thankful to have you for my support system. Thanks for being you!

Your friend, Ann

Oh man Twins, I just logged on about 8 minutes ago and you were on line, so I went to the chat room and waited, then I just checked again and poof, you were gone!!! Sorry we missed each other.

Hey Congratulations on the BIG 40 POUNDS!!! That is fantastic!!! Good workin'!!!


Hoping we meet up soon, what times have you been able to get on line lately?

Ann,

I am sooooo sorry, I just missed you in chat on Tuesday afternoon. :c(

I did meet up with Meressa and she said that you were having a hard time. I am so sorry that I have not kept up my contact with you. I haven't posted much at all but love being in the chat room.

I'll bet it is all the stress you have been under lately. Sheesh, it is crazy. Hard to keep everything together I would think.

Please post when you can, it sometimes helps just to be able to put it in words.

See you soon, I hope.

Ann,
I hope you are feeling better today. :)
You do have an awful lot on your plate. I hope you are doing better.
Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and wishing you the best. :)
Jessi

Wow Nancy, You must have really had to dig to find my journal. I haven't been in here in so long I am amazed that you found it. I am doing much better today and am up only two pounds now and not 6 so that is better. The most important thing is I am back off sugar and not eating everything in site.

We have two more weeks before we have to be out of our house and I have not started packing. We have so much stuff I don't really know where to start.

Jessi, Thanks for visiting and worring about me. I hope things are going well for you. I am sorry I haven't been in chat much lately. I will kind of be out of commision on the chats until I can get packed. I really do need to start. LOL

Take care all and I will try to visit and see how you guys are doing.

Ann

Hey twins,

Why haven't we at least been meeting like this, lol, this is much nicer than nothing.

Glad you got those pounds back off, I knew you would and they come off quickly when they go on so quickly.

Packing... argh... just take it steps at a time. The girls can do some things, their clothes, some toys, some books. Remember!!!! just small boxes for books, they are too heavy.

Just get a bunch of boxes, pick one room, doesn't matter which one, and start packing. You don't have to finish that room, just pack what you get inspired to pack, take a break(no longer than 15 minutes) and then pack something else, maybe even in another room.

Might even help to sit down first with a pen and paper and think about what things you are not needing now, and pack them first. Or maybe you want to pack what you will be needing first, except for your toothbrush of course, lol.

You will do it, but when you feel that SUPER stress coming over you, step back and remember that you are doing fine, it is going to be ok, you will do it, a step at a time. There is no right or wrong way, it just has to be done.

Oh, here's another idea, (you are probably tired of those already, lol) what about getting a suitcase and packing up all your necessities, toothbrush, makeup, etc, etc and then you know you have the most important things in one spot and then you can just pack everything else. Hmmm, just a thought.

See you soon.

Ann,

I miss chatting with you. 40 lbs! Awesome! I am so dang proud of you. Keep it up.

Are you just moving to a different home or another state? Seems like i have missed out on some info LOL Glad the eating is getting under control. I dont eney the moving part, yrs ago that used to seem exciting now just much work! Hope it goes smoothly.....

TESS!!!!!!!I have missed you. How have you been? I guess you are back at school now or soon will be. I hope you can make it to chat and visit sometime soon.

Thanks for all the idea's on the move, Nancy. I guess the hard part is moving from a bigger house to a smaller one and deciding what to store what to bring and what to sell. I just have to set my mind to the purge mode and get rid of things but it is hard and one of the twins cries when I get rid of stuff. This is the only house they have known and it is pretty traumatic for them. My husand finaly got the garage clean so I can start to put the garage sale stuff in there and that should help. Thanks again for the help. I need all of that I can get. LOL

Judith, thanks for visiting. We are moving to the next town over, about 20 min's away. We are there everyday anyway so that is where we will rent for awhile until we can decide what state we want to move to.

I hope I can visit with all you ladies soon in chat. Take care all.
Ann

Ann,

I am thrilled to see you back AND POSTING ... no pressure on my part but I hope you know that I am here for you if and whenever .... make it a great day and have and make it a terrific weekend. As always, Monica

Hey Twins,

so how are you doing these days. Sorry it took me so long to get back here.

How is the packing going?

You know you can maybe make moving be a bit of an adventure for the girls, put some excitement into it. Looking forward to decorating a new room etc.

The girls will be fine, you know that. But yes it is hard to step out to something else. Especially when it is just temporary and you don't know where the final home will be. Hang in there.

That is what it was like for us when we moved across Canada about 2 years ago. When we moved out of our last home in Ontario we didn't know where we were going, just packed things up and waited. LOL. The kids were just 5, 20mon and 2mon old. We must have been crazy, lol.

Well, hope to meet up soon.

Hey twins,

So are the girls enjoying watching Olympic gymnastics? I thought of you all the other night when we were watching them. I'll be it really inspires them.

I am looking forward to having a routine again, seems like the summer just gets me totally off track. Eek!!!

Guess what! When I got up this morning, about 6:30, the outdoor thermometer said 5C and that is about 40 fahrenheit. No wonder my plants don't look as good as they used too, poor little things.

It will of course warm up today but not too hot. I will get some cooking and baking done maybe.

We are having stir fry tonight. Yummm, What a great way to get your veggies in. LOL

Take care.

Hey twins, how's everything going? Sorry I haven't been in here for a while; I've been a little lost lately but everything turning back to normal. Hope everything's going well with your move...talk to you soon...

Hey Ann,

Well I was going to go walking tonight or tomorrow morning but right now we have these pesky little bugs that are everywhere outside. Drive you crazy. So I am going to try out one of my new Walking off the Pounds videos that Sandie sent me. They look great but haven't tried them out yet.

Be good to yourself today, you deserve to be healthy, strong and happy.

moving is rough on kids - I feel bad for all of you.

My grandchildren are looking at their 4th move - 2ed one that they remember, and it never gets easier on them - something that did help them though was we got their bedrooms and toy area all set up first at the new house, so they had their stuff and turf so to speak :)

Hang tough ! :D

Beth :not:

Hi Ann,

I just wanted to drop in and let you know that I am thinking about you. I hope that you are well and happy. Yes, school has started and I am getting back into the "swing" of things.

Take care! I miss you at chat, if you have some extra time, stop in. :)

Hey Ann,

So how are you doing? I imagine you will be in your new place soon. I love fresh starts, even with houses. A great opportunity to make new habits. Grab ahold of the positive thoughts. You will all be just fine. At least you still have all of your activities and regular 'haunts' that you can go to.

We moved across Canada about 12 years ago. Didn't know anyone. Had 3 little kids. But we did fine and we love it here now. Just wish our family was closer.

Well I gained a bit this spring as you know, but I am finally getting it back off, Hurray!!! Not much exercise but getting food under control, maybe that is how I am going to have to do it.

Well, I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and hope you are all fine.

Crazy,
I am with you on the moving anf fresh starts. I moved to the midwest from Calif at age 20 to marry (he was from Kansas) we lived there 23 yrs( a few moves in the same state due to his schooling) then 11 yrs ago he wanted to reduce his call schedule with work and he was offered a position in Ga. we talked about , our two oldest were out of high school and my next two were starting jr high and third grade, we decided it was now or not for several more yrs. We went for it and we love it here( it took awhile to adjust, but doesnt it always after you get everything it its place and you have more time, then the change hits LOL) The only one that didnt adjust was my 18 yr old daughter, but she has a more difficult personality, she moved after three yrs to another state. My youngest(isnt it odd that he was the one that missed Kansas so much) still considers himself a Jayhawker at heart and roots for all the Ks. sports teams. I tell him it is because he has such happy memories, he really had an ideal childhood there(small town of 2900 people) but i dont regret moving, actually it just proved to me, you can make a home anywhere as long as you are with you husband and kids.

Hi Ann,

Well, it was great chatting with you this morning, I have really missed you being here. I was very excited to see your name pop up, thanks.

I will be working at my water intake today and will let you know. I also will post in fitday and am shooting for between 1600-1800.

Heck, I might even go for a walk, haven't said that for a while. LOL

Well, have a great day.

Ann, I loved seeing your name in chat this morning...we've really missed you around here. I hope that you find it easy enough to get back on track; I'm sure it would make you feel better about yourself if you did. You remember that wonderful feeling you got when you were successful with you weightloss efforts; you can feel it again...you'll do wonderfully. Hope to see you around here more often, have a great weekend and remmeber you're a wonderful person no matter how you feel you are!!! c-ya later!!!

Hey Ann,

Ok, water is doing pretty good but calories still need to come down but I am posting again so that is good. Not too bad yesterday, just a bit over 2000 though.

Yesterday I dropped off my girls for a party they had and I was alone for supper so I treated myself to a small person pizza at Pizza Hut Express and bought 2 cans of diet coke. Drank just one can last night, kind of wanted the other one but descided to save it for today. So I consider that a victory in the diet coke control, LOL.


Thanks again for your friendship.

So how are you doing getting back on track!!!!!!!! Let us know.

Hey Nancy, Judith, Beth and maressa! Sorry I have not replied to any of your posts. I really appreciate all your feedback.

We are settling into the new house okay. The people who lived here before us had several dogs and even with cleaning we can't get the smell out of the carpet or the house itself. I keep thinking that we will get used to it but YUCK it's not happening.

The twins qualified to state in gymnastics in their first meet this year and they are happy about that. It has kept them pretty busy so they haven't had as much time to worry about the move. My one sinsative child say's that this is just a house and not her home. Maybe after Chirstmas she will feel more at home here.

I have been splurging quite a bit but have only gone up a coulple of pounds. I am really ready to hit it again this week. Thanks to Nancy I am back on the water and not so much diet coke. Take care all and thanks for all your visits.

Ann

Twins, I pulled up your journal so that we could wish you happy birthday and that you will get notice about it in your regular e-mail!!!

http://d21c.com/AnnesPlace/Spec3/HBD-Heart.gif

Happy Birthday Ann!!!

Hope you and your family are having a great time travelling around and seeing the sites!!!

Have a great day, have fun, and you can have a little treat today, LOL!!!

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/13/13_10_8.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxdm80269US)http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/13/13_1_14.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxdm80269US)
Nancy just told me that today is your Birthday so, I thought I would throw you a surprise party!!! lol

I hope you have an awesome day and hope to hear from you real soon!!!

lots of hugs, Meressa

Happy happy Birthday! Where are YOU????????????

:balloons: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANN :cake:

Hope you have a special day to suit your special occasion!

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