Ok ... got to get the motivation going, and keep it going. This is like the kazillionth time I have started a diet (not to mention a journal :o ) and never seem to commit to either.

Well this time it is going to be different. I HAVE to get in shape. The focus is on excersise and getting fit ... if I do this the weight will come off anyway (I hope!)

Today's goals:

1. Eat properly, lots of veggies and fruit, and avoid the halloween stashes.
2. Move the excersise bike down to my study, so I will use it more.
3. Go for a walk.
4. Me time .. practice music, or sew. Something fun.
5. get the paperwork off my desk

Well so far so good. Was running errands on the noon hour ... and forgot my lunch, so ended up at the drive thru. Ordered the chicken grill sandwich, and a diet pop. Go to the pick-up window, and the girl hands me the bag, and I drive off. Reaching into the bag, to get the straw for the drink, my hand curls around fries ... which I did not order. So I take a glance in the bag, and find its a Big Mac, Supersize fires, and the pop is regular, not diet ... Boy was it hard not to just accept what I had been given, after all, it was the clerks's mistake ... those fries smelt so good ... but I did the honest, not to mention diet correct thing, and parked the car, went inside, and got the stuff I ordered.

The guy who got my chicken burger, and diet coke, was not impressed ... it was a cop, and he pulled back into the drive thru, with lights blazing, and gave the girl a dressing down ... poor thing.

LOL, Heather...... I guess the "food police" really do exist! yikes! *grin* You sound like you are doing great! I'm sure the fries smelled good, but doesn't it feel really good knowing that you made the healthy choice? I resisted drive throughs all day today while I was out and about. I almost went a couple of times and decided I would go home and eat and that's what I did. I saved money AND calories!

.....hey... you burned off some extra calories walking into the food joint, too! YEA!

Good job, girl.... you CAN do this!!

LOL Heather and good one, DJ! hahaha I can't believe he had his lights going...that is funny! That is awesome that you went back in for your correct order! Sounds like you are off to a great start!

That reminds me of a funny story...a few years ago when I was living on campus, I was out for a walk one Saturday and I had this sweater on which is like the perfect fall sweater. It's great. Anyway, this cop drove by and over his loudspeaker thing he said, "I LIKE YOUR SWEATER." And I had no idea what to do! Hahaha! I couldn't say thanks because he was IN his car, LOL and I was embarrassed too because like, I was on campus and people kind of turned to look. oh man...it was really funny!

Looks like you have already lost some weight, so great job with that! My stats are pretty close to your current weight and goal weight. I am ready to get it off for good this time.

I agree with your exercise approach. When I exercise, I feel better about myself and that usually puts an end to the binging stuff...So, I'm going to do that too!

We can do this!!!

-Lindsey

Hi Heather.. great to see you posting.. Good luck on your weight loss journey... and congrats on not caving in to those fries and big Mac...

Well ... another day another challenge. Did not sleep well, and know from experience, that when I do not sleep well, I do not do great in the calorie department ... try to make up for fatigue by snacking. Will try to counteract this by having a nap if I am tired, instead of snacking, and getting my excersise in.

Last night ate good at dinner, although did have a couple too many halloween candies :o .

Made myself go to Pipe class, which helped me get moving, and stay out of the goodies, at least for a few hours.

Glad those chocolates of the kids are finally sold and will be gone for the year ... boy I hate that kind of fundraisng!

Hi, Heather!!! :wave: Wanted you to know I was truly inspired by reading about your excellent save at Mickey D's!!!! I probably would have eaten the fries ... your the hero of my day! Huzzah! :cheer:

Had a good morning ... took a nap, as the energy was not there ... but did do five minutes on the excersise bike first, to see if the workout would give me a boost ... it didn't. Will do some more bike time this afternoon.

It's Wednesday, so it is dinner in town night, due to kids' schedules. (Two not out of school until 4:30 due to clubs, and then have cadet band tonight, and we live 30 minutes from town, so always pick up food, and take it to the nursing home to have with Grandma, instead of rushing home ... only time she gets to see the kids, as we are always so busy. She always chooses, so it is usually either fried chicken, pizza, or burgers. I have kept this in mind, and only had yogurt and fruit for breakfast, and a peanut butter sandwich for lunch ... no snacking so far ... to keep my cals in the range of allowing for fast food tonight.

Still, I will keep my goal in mind, and order the lowest calorie option I can, from whatever joint she chooses. She pays, so I give her the choice ... it is also so that she will eat better ... she hates the institutional food, and always loved eating out, so we (DH and I) take her out to lunch once or twice a week, to give her a break from the food there, as well as do the Wed night thing with the kids. Lunch out is usually Chinese, but too expensive for Wednesdays when you have 3 teenagers that eat like linebackers.

Thanks all for your comments ... I appreciate you taking the time. :flower:

Dinner ended up being pizza .. I had vegetarian, to keep the cals lower, and up the veggies, and had diet soda with it.

Spent evening working on files at the cadet hall, will spend a few minutes on the puter, then off to bed, as have early morning. Hubby leaves on business trip in the morning, so must get gang going extra-early.

Nite all.

...so I gotta ask, have you been doing you me-time fun stuff?

Sounds like you're off to a great, fresh start!

Hi Jessica! Nice to talk to you again!

Me time? Lately I recently joned a Pipe and Drum band ... I am learning to play the bagpipes ... and I am starting to work on a quilt for one of the local sea cadet officers, who is expecting in May. I am making it with a sailboat in the middle, with samples of all the sailors knots in the boarders. She already has 4 boys ... so making it a bit masculine, but so that it will work for a girl too.

Today Hubby leaves for a 4 day trip, so will have some alone time while kids are at school (don't get normally, as he is on long-term disability, so is home all day).

Todays plans:
1. clean house (company coming from Alberta ... I hope! have not seen neice and nephew in 4 years ... sis-in-law is prof musician, and rarely makes the time to come up north to visit; she's just too busy)
2. Bike as much as I can
3. Eat well ... no take out today! (tend to do when hubby is out of town

Yesterday went well, although sat at computer too much, so did not get much excersise/cleaning done as I wanted.

Today's goals:

Eat well
Excersise bike
clean
and for fun ... videos tonight.

Yesterday ... not so hot in the food department. Ate very little all day, good supper, but got potatoe chips "for the kids" and ended up having lots, as well as quite a bit of candy. Felt rather blue. Did lots of housework, but did not do any real excersise. Why am I not motivated? I have a goal, that I really want (to get into Basic Officer Training), and know that I need to loose the weight to do it. I also want to get rid of all the fat-related medical issues ... so WHy can I not keep myself focused, motivated and actually do what I plan to do? Why am I so lazy, and how do I go about changing that habit? Wish I knew.

Today I will try and get up on the bike after I drop the kids off in town, and will avoid the candy stash. Salad for lunch. Dinner salad and beef.

Will try and find some way to keep me motivated and focused.

Weigh in by the way ... 274.4 :c(

Doing better the last few days. Deborah actually made it to town (Its a Miracle!), so it is really nice to have the family here. She brought Nancy, who asked to stay at our place. I initially said yes, although very reluctantly, but later told her I was uncomfortable having her here wiht us (she's a schizophrenic who rufuses to take any treatment). It was really hard emotionally, especially when I know I made her cry by refusing to let her stay with us, but I knew it was best for my kids/me. I handled it well food wise tho ... usually I turn to food for comfort ... Hubby brought me a huge bag of Chocolate mints (like over a pound) from his business trip ( :tomato: MEN! :tomato: ). I only had 4 ... then put them away. Was not even tempted to have more than that.

Got a new shape magazine, and got inspired with its "home workout" ... will do it after I get back from meeting in town.

Hi Heather!

Saw you're learning how to play the pipes.....I played for about 17 years, up until I had to sell mine in order to be able to help pay for university (umm....I had a very nice, very rare antique set). So I haven't played in about 4-5 years.....as soon as I'm finished school and have a good job I'm buying meself a nice new set and starting up again!! How did you get interested in piping?

Keep up the good work! :D

Well part of it is just being Scottish .. genetic interest I guess. When I was in Grade 6, I have a MAJOR crush on my teacher's son, who was drop dead gorgeous, and played the pipes. Wanting to do anything to be near him, I took an interest in the pipes. Was not able to take lessons then, but I have wanted to learn ever since, even after I learned he was just a pretty face.

Early this year, a note came home from the highschool (with one of my kids), that the local Legion Pipe and Drum Band was looking for more members. Lessons are free. So I decided to join up. Why not when its free! My sone plays drums in three different bands, so I asked if he would be interested, and he was. We both went for awhile, but he has since dropped it, as other activities conflicted with the practice times.

I am still learning ... still on the Chanter, although I am starting to try my intructors pipes now and then. I will likely buy a set of pipes in the spring, if I can swing it financially.

I understand where you are at about selling instruments for needy causes. My hubby sold his accordian and his classical guitar when he was very ill, not working, and needed very pricy medications, and we recently traded our piano for a washing machine. Music is wonderful, but sometimes you have to do what needs doing, even if it is a sacrifice.

Oh my god oh my god oh my god! :o :balloons:

Weigh in this morning ... 265.6! :D I have lost 9 pounds since the 6th of November.

Part of that I think has to do with having the flu, and hardly eating for the past few days. Now my only goal is to not regain it ... which I seem to do EVERY time I have a big drop. X-(

On the bad news side, blood sugar this morning was 21.2 ... that is VERY bad ... doc says it shoudl never get above 7, and that usually a person is hospitalized if they cannot keep it below 15-18. I Must get this under control ... this is so much more important than even controlling the weight, although what helps the sugars will also help the weight .. ie watching what I eat and getting some exercise everyday.

Goals for today ...

make sure I eat properly
ride the bike
go for a walk
take diabetic pills (what do I have to do to make myself remember! )
schoolwork
housework
2 meetings tonight ... must decide which to attend

Had a better day today .. flu seems to be abating. Got lots of school work done, made the kids clean, and wrode the bike for 2 - 10 minute sessions. Going to officers meeting tonight, but will try to do one more bike session when I get home. Sugars are lower -- 16.6, but still in the "panic stage" ... am continuing to behave ... so far!

wieght 268.9
sugars 15.8 still not budging no matter what I do :c(

Getting frustrated with the blood sugars ... do not want to end up on insulin, but I can see it coming.

Brag time!
I fixed the car, when hubby could not! The part that connects to the transmission, the "transaxle something" and connects to the gear shift, snapped in half, so you could not get the car to change gears at all ... could not get it out of Park. We have anohther car, of the same model, that doesnt run, that we kept to have parts for (both are 86 Dodge Airies beaters). I just pulled the part from one, and put it on the other, and it runs now better than before. The gears never lined up with the letters on the dash before .. had to guage which gear you were in by feel, rather than sight ... now it is all aligned perfectly. So proud of myself, as I am not mechanically inclined. Could have smacked hubby though, when he called the garage to cancel our appointment to get the car fixed later this week, and told them HE fixed the car ... 'course his ego can't cope with the fact that I did it, when he tried but could not.

Hiii... I'm Rebekah, I stopped by to leave ya a post. Good luck on getting the sugars under control, you can do this. Also, CONGRATS on the weight loss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO, congrats on the fact that YOU fixed the car. That is so awesome. :D

Thanks FSUGirl. You're right ... women rock! Hubby is dealing with it better today ... tho he is still kinda babyish about it. :pass: LOL Thanks for dropping by.

Heather, you are doing awesome! Sounds like you've got the car situation under control, too! Aren't men funny..... *rolling eyes* I think it's great that you were able to "help" him with the car. LOL

Hope your blood sugars settle down for you. I don't know anything about them, so can't offer any advice. Monica would be the best for that.

Take care and have a great weekend!

Thanks DJ .. you have a nice weekend too. I'll be getting my stretching excersise in the form of hanging the outdoor Christmas lights.

Well I have had a good couple weeks. Really tired all the time, but managing to keep the food under control. Blood sugars are finally getting under control. Weight is staying in the mid-260's, which is great. Hope to get it lower tho ... got to get the excersise happening soon ... and get mind focused on school, and not other things.

Starting to feel a bit Christmasy, although a bit depressed that the money is so tight. :deer:

Well its been a while since I checked in. I got Diet Power software, and it is helping. Now down to 261! Have not been that low in about 3 years or more, and then it was only fleeting, till I gave up on the diet of the week at that time.

Have applied for working out of town. It is very scary to think of moving from this community that I love, but I am tired of being unemployed, so need to suck it up and expand the options. Really excited about the idea of working on the Navy Base job I applied for; really hope I get it. Its working as a social-worker-type on base ... civilian job. But if I don't, I will keep on trying ... who knows where we will end up!

Went to the office Christmas party last night. Ate a lot, but tried to be good in my choices. Ate protein vs sweets to keep the cals and sugars down (I am diabetic, so the sweets are a double no-no). Ate cheese, turkey and roast beef (avoided the salami and pepperoni .. higher fat), tortilla chips with salsa, fruit and just a few sweets. Normal behavior would have had me try everything, at least 3 times. Wish I had not eaten as much, but am happy with the choices I made.

:deer:

Good day ... found out I won a $1000 scholarship/award! Oh happy day! that will pay tuition for 3 courses ... just wish the money came to me instead of the school, but oh - well.


Was very good food wise, tho need to get some excersise going.

264 .. bit of a gain ... too much Christmassing :deer:

Mood is good today ... feeling motivated, both school wise and food wise ... lets get going girl!

had dropped down to 262 .. but today up to 267.4 :c( ... in some ways I am not suprised. Last night was the Sea Cadet Mess dinner, and although I did not eat as I normally would, I did eat more than I should have. Much of what was served was salty, so part of the gain could be simple water retention. We will see in a day or two I suppose.

Was so happy to see Bruce there (officer that had moved away ... great guy. Very cute too! he he he :o ) ... really made the evening extra special. I really miss him a lot. Wish I could see him more often ... probably best that I don't tho, as I would undoubtedly embarrass myself where he is concerned, by letting him know how i really feel about him. :X (I'm married .. should not have those feelings ... but cannot help it sometimes ... no plans to act on it .. just like to think about acting on it! :o )

Found out Josh (one of the other officers) has a boot fettish ... was fun teasing him all night about it. I'm sure the other officers will keep bugging him about it too ... he's so easy to get going!

I am still hoping so much that the Esquimalt job works out ... can really see working on base.

Diet wise, despite the gain, I am feeling really good about what I am doing. The loss is slow, but is keeping going steadily down ... I am sticking with the dietpower software ... asked hubby to pay for the full version as a christmas present. I think it is great that I am feeling so positive about a "diet", at this point in the holidays ... hopefully it will help keep me focused, and keep the holiday gains to a minimum.

Well it was just water weight ... whew! :jn I am very happy for that! today I am back to 262.6 Will keep plugging at this. I am so proud of myself for keeping steady at it ... we will get this off this time ... so many reasons why we have to. WIll keep fousing on them, and not the stressors in my life (DH).

went Christmas shopping tonight ... mood was not good ... felt like hitting the fast foods in the mall ... went home instead ... yeah me! :caf: :jn :dn

Merry Christmas :)

Beth :peace:

Thanks Beth ... same to you!

Well I survived the holidays ... really helped that I had a migraine for half of it, so did not feel like eating like my normal bovine self. Still ... I am up on the scale a bit ... 263.8 ... but last Christmas I gained 7 pounds, so it is still worth doing a happy dance over. :dn

Glad most of the leftovers have been attacked by the kids ... not much left of the sweets, or chips, so no temptations there.

NOw I need to get working on excersise, school work, and planning meals that keep everyone happy, yet are low cal ... I know I can do it ... just need to make the effort.

I realized yesterday, that the amount of weight I need to lose, is about the same as a teenage boy .. my weight loss goal is the same as what my son weighs. It really hit me how much wieght I am carrying around ... I cannot even think of picking up Josiah, and yet I am carrying that amount of weight around with me every single day ... no wonder I am so tired all the time!

262.0 ... back on track!

Have signed up for the boot camp challenge ... after new years will journal in there as well as here ... need to keep going. I am so excitied to see the success I have been having. This will be the year of the new me.

My weight goals for the year are as follows:

By March 1, 2005 I will be under 255.

By June 1, 2005 I will be under 240, and will wear my $500 pantsuit to Annual.

By September 1, I will be under 225 ... its been over 10 years since I was that low ... I can and will do it!

By Dec 25, 2005, I will be close to, or under 200.

I know parts of it will be touch, but I am doing good, and as long as I stick with it, eat smart, and get some excersise, I know I can do it.

Doing good today ... ate way to much pizza last night, so surprisingly (not!) the weight is up today. Salty pizza meats does it every time. X-(

Gettign psyched about the boot camp challenge. Really think it will be a great focus for me.

Oh my God! :caf:


weighed myself this morning (as I do every day:o ) and was so shocked. I am 258.8 today. I have not been in the 250's since I had my accident in 2000.

For anyone reading this, I was doing really good on a diet ... had lost from 280 (highest I had ever been up until that point), had a good excersise routine, etc, then was in a very bad car accident, with whiplash and a foot broken in two places, that took months to heal. Got depressed, lost motivation and momentum, and not only gained all I had lost, but added 35 pounds on top of it, to get to my all time high of 315. I had gotten as low as 257.7 (have weights saved on myyahoo.com diettracker)

another week or so, and I will be lower than I was when I had that accident ... back into virgin fat territory (that is, fat you have not lost/dieted away and regained)

Hey Heather!!! I was just stopping by to wish you LOTS of luck for our first day here @ BOOTCAMP. I am very excited to have you as a buddy, and I look forward to getting to know you more throughout the phases. For me, I already want to cheat, and its the first day! AHH! hahaha. Well anyways, I hope you have a successful day, we gotta get through these 14 days with NO re-starting! If I was doing this challenge by my self, I would be in Phase 1 until Sept.!!!!!! :laugh:

Goooooo Heather!!!! :cheer:

Had a little bit of a blip gain .. but not letting it discourage me. Know it could be water, BM, or other reason for it ... I have been behaving. Also getting the bike going again will give some muscle gain ... will keep with it.

Emotionally ... doing ok. SOOOOOO glad the kids are back in school. It's -30 degrees out, so none will even go out for a walk, or tabogganing, skating etc, so have been bored couch potatoes, that are snapping at each other endlessly. THANK GOD I have 8 hours a day with them gone ... can actually get some studying myself done. Not to mention have time for hubby and :o you know!

HANG IN THERE GIRLY! Just sending some support over your way. You are doing awesome. Keep it up!! :D