I thought that since I've been gone for a while, I would start a new journal. I can't find my old one anyway :D

As I posted the other day when I returned here, my life has been tough in the last few months, and I've tried to keep my weight where it was, but haven't lost anything. Actually I've gained a little. Today I decided to see how much damage all the Christmas candy had done to me. My weight now is 124 kilos - it could have been much worse!

Honestly I'm trying to motivate myself to do this at a time where I'm not motivated to do much at all, but I've been reminded how important this battle is - my weight is a very serious threat to my health right now :c(

One of my problems is that I don't have the money to eat the way I should, so to begin with I think I'm going to experiment a little, to see what works best for me of the types of food I'll be able to get. I'm afraid that it has to be very little of the right food, if I'm not going to have to eat cheap junk food for some of my meals. It's going to be hard to find the right balance.

I have a feeling that even though it would be nice to see some results soon, I'll have to accept that this is going to take time. Even when I'm a "good girl", it IS very hard for me to lose weight. So I'm going to set a more realistic goal this time. It's a new year now, and my goal is 25 kilos before the new year is over. Then I'll be under 100 kilos. Maybe it's not that much, and I know I need to lose more than that - and if I do lose more weight than that before 2006, that's great! Maybe some people could lose it all in that time, but I probably can't do that, and I KNOW that if I set my goals too high, I'll just give up and feel bad about it when I start to see that I'm not going to make it. I want to take it easy this time, and not get stressed because I'm not losing the weight fast enough. 25 kilos is still a lot of weight to lose, and I know I should be able to do that in a year, and it makes it seem less overwhelming. I can always worry about the rest of the kilos later :)

Hi, Just stopped by to read your journal, You have set the right fram work for you, Don't make it to hard to reach your frist goal. Go slow and I think you will be happier with it.
It has taken me almost 2 years to lose the weight I have lost so far. And once you get a good bet off, that alone will help to keep you going. Also the slower it is the more you are teaching your self to learn to eat right. This journey can have lots of hills along the way but just know you can get over them. When and if you get off track just pick your self up and don't look back.
I wish you all the best! Have a GREAT week!

Your bud Millie

Millie, thanks for the support! :D

I think I've been good today... I got paid today and tried to plan what kinds of food I'll buy for this next month. Not an easy thing to do with very little money, but I bought some of the cheapest vegetables I could find, some good bread and chicken for making healthy sandwiches and salads. I don't think I got that much for all those money, but I'll see how long it lasts before I need to buy more. But it seems to be a good idea, because I can use pretty much any ingredients I can find at a good price, and I'll get a little bit of everything. Unfortunately not as much of everything as I should, but that's the compromise I'll have to make. It's probably more healthy than bad junk food! I've chopped a lot of vegetables and have put them in little plastic boxes in my refrigerator so it'll be easy to prepare my meals - that way I'll have no excuses to eat bad food because I'm too lazy to make the healthy stuff. I know myself too well! :laugh:

And with all the shopping and other things I needed to do, I got some exercise too. I don't have a car, so I had no choise! :D

I think it is super important, even if you canteat as muc healthy food, eat less of the bad food. Its not all about what you eat as it is how muhc of it. I know at your size it may be hard to excercise a lot, but do more and do as much as you can...even if that means walking up and down the stairs of your apartment. Welcome back to DT, and I look foward to hearing of your successes.

To everyone who reads this, happy new year! :D

Elsie: yes, it IS a little difficult to exercise with my size, to begin with I'm focusing more on getting in better shape than to exercise to lose weight. That's what my doctor adviced me to do.

I'm trying to be good today, I am going to allow myself a little bit of "fun" tonight, and have some cake, but will try to control myself. I have to learn how to do that some day! But I've had a healthy lunch and dinner, homemade salad "burgers" made of nothing but good stuff. It didn't look like much when I prepared it, so I thought I was going to be hungry, but I'm actually VERY full :)

The nice thing about healthy food is it is decently filling. I know I can get pretty stuffed on something as simple as salad. I also eat a lot of tuna, and its cheap, and all that protein keeps you feeling full, well I eat it plain so semi-full :) I hope you have a healthy sucessful new year.

There's not much news today... I never got here yesterday because... somehow I managed to sleep the entire day!! :eyes: Of course I was awake some of the time, but kept falling asleep. I guess my body needed some rest. And you don't eat while you sleep! :laugh:

Now it's a new day, and I started it with a bit of salad for breakfast. Honestly I've never been a big fan of vegetables, but I think I've found some combinations that I actually like. My only problem is that my refrigerator is very small, so I can't have a bowl of salad or too many large vegetables in there... that's why I decided to chop the vegetables and put them in little boxes, but it's still a bit of a puzzle to make it all fit into the refrigerator :D

It's still early in the day, but so far I had salad for breakfast, and then I had no other choise than getting some exercise... because I've just bought a lot of tuna and vegetables in cans, and when I got home, I discovered that my can opener was missing. After searching the kitchen several times, I decided that I had probably thrown in it in the trash by accident, so I had to go get a new one. Not having a car is good when you need to walk :D But apart from that, I must admit that it's difficult for me to motivate myself to exercise. Maybe it's because I'm not feeling that well, or maybe it's because it's much more easy to tell yourself to go for a long walk when it's nice and warm outside - but right now I know I'm not getting as much exercise as I should 8-| But apart from that, I am eating like I should, and have resisted the temptation of buying chocolate and candy... it takes a lot of willpower every time I shop not to buy some. Carrots are just not the same! :tongue: But my health is more important than a piece of chocolate that's gone in a few minutes :)

Happy New Year, IronMaiden!!! :wave: I stopped by to read your journal and am impressed with your dedication and attitude. I think you are really on the right track with the idea of losing slow ... I'm also a very slow loser and it can be frustrating but it's the best way. I notice you had salad for breakfast ... I don't like whole vege but love to make smoothies and fresh soup in my mini blender with vege and fruit ... very cheap and works great for breakfast, sneaks those carrots in :lol: ... any kind of a blender does this and blenders can cost as little as $9 here ... you are really thinking healthy and that's great! Have a super day!

It's really early in the morning as I write this, it's cold and storming outside, and still dark... but I started the day in a nice way anyway, as I got on the scale and saw that I had lost my first kilo! :D So I guess I must be doing something right, now I feel much more motivated to do my exercise later today. I guess I just need to see a little sign that tells me that what I'm doing actually works. I have a very good feeling about the way I'm doing things this time. And no matter how much or little I lose, or how slow or fast I lose it, I know that no matter what, what I'm doing right now WILL be good for me, so even if the weight stands still, I'm still doing it for a reason. There are overweight people who are much more healthy than I am, I can really feel that I'm unhealthy and I want to change that too - it's not just about getting skinny. But of course I'm dreaming of the day that I'll be able to fit into that lovely pair of leather pants in my closet :sigh:

This is the second time I write here today, but I just wanted to say that I FINALLY talked myself into doing some serious exercise today... ok maybe I could have worked harder, I don't know, but I felt that I did all I could do, at least in the shape I'm in now. So I did about half an hour of weights and "running" (when I say running I mean running indoors, staying in the same spot... I don't know how effective it is, but it really makes my heart beat and I can feel that I use the muscles in my legs). I also needed to do some (very heavy!) shopping so I've been on a walk too. So there's nothing to feel guilty about today! :D

Running, even if in place is great excercise, so congrats on that! Only thing I have to suggest as for the veges... frozen are much better then canned, because they dont have all the added salt, and they retain their healthy nutrients when frozen. Sounds like you are doing great, congrats on 1 kilo down, and I am sure you will be losing them left and right!

Today I've really been a good girl, even though it started with a little fight with myself. First of all, I had a little too much for breakfast - it was all healthy food, but I still ate a little too much. So, even though it's cold, I decided I would have to take a serious long walk through the city to burn some extra calories... but then my brain said "and then I can buy some candy and snacks while I'm there" 8-|

But, instead of doing that, before I left I took what I believed would be the money that I would normally use for candy and snacks on a whole month with me, but instead of visiting a candy store, I found a sports store and bought myself a pair of really good 2 1/2 kilo weights, and a pair of 0.5 kilo ankle weights. I looked at some heavier ankle weights too, but my knees didn't like them. Carrying all those weights home was an exercise in itself! And of course the plastic bag broke! :laugh: So, instead of candy, I got exercise equipment... and I really did need something I could use here at home, I can't afford a gym, and because of my stupid squeeky floor, there's a lot of things I can't do without upsetting the guy downstairs 8-| With these things I can finally make a real exercise plan - I'm actually looking forward to playing with my new toys! :lift:

I'm SO tired right now! Yesterday I worked out with my new weights for about 40 minutes. I used to lift weights when I was a teenager, where I used to last for about an hour, so I thought it was pretty good for my first day. I woke up this morning and was sore in my entire body. I had breakfast and then I went for a very long walk, with the ankle weights on. They're not that heavy, but I can feel that I'm using my thigh muscles a little more. When I came home and looked at the time, I had been away for 3 hours!! :O Right now my lower back isn't doing so great, especially not when I get up or sit down. I'll be playing with my weights again later today, but I think I'll watch what I do to my lower back - something tells me it has had enough exercise for today.

I've been good, I'm eating and exercising like I should, but somehow I've gained 2 kilos anyway! :eyes: I'm hoping some of it is water, I know I haven't done anything that should have made me gain weight. There's nothing else to do than to keep on trying! :whip:

It sounds like you are doing pretty great, though I have no idea what you are eating. Good job on spending the candy money on the weights. The weights are good for more then walking, I used to use them at my desk all the time at work --sicne I could use them while I was on the phones-- but holding on to my chair and swinging my leg across my body then up as far as I could, and all sorts of excercise. Every little bit helps and I am sure in no time you will be able to do an hour. Remember the soreness, is a good thing!