Hi everyone. I'm just a day or 2 early starting my journal. I've had a very busy last 3 months. I can't really go into it very much. My boss had quit and I was put in charge and it looks like I still will be until maybe the end of Jan and maybe after. I'm not sure. But just to let some of the people know that know me before, all along I thought that it was this one person that was driving me nuts at work and it turns out that she was not the only one. I have since found out though myself ,my family and other people that I have had to work with these past few months. They say that I'm a different person now that she (MY BOSS) is gone. I did not even know that I was a *****y as I was until people told me I was. The one person still drives me crazy. I don't think She will ever give me the respect that I feel that I should get. She is one of these people that are never wrong and you always are and she goes out of her way to prove it to make herself feel better.
Anyway, I've done a bit of soul searching. I've been through alot these past few months and found out alot about someone that I did not know and never thought I would ever know about them. I never thought that they would ever do the things that they did. Shocked is about the only word that I could tell you now. I found out the hard way that I was being used and never even knew it and it was going on for 5 years. You don't know how much of a fool I have being feeling that I have been. I cried for 3 weeks.
Anyway, I'm over that part. I've not spoken to her since oct. There alot of unanswered questions. I'm at the point where I'm very angry now and I don't want to speak to her anyway.
I feel that I need you people to help me get over this hump. I feel now that I understand that she was part of my problem and I did not know that she was. Now that she is gone I need to start fresh. I will tell you one thing, if you think you know someone inside and out after my experience you are wrong. I've know this person for 9 years and had know idea what she was really like after all. I don't think I will ever let anyone ever by my best friend again. I can honestly say the 1st 3 weeks that I found out about things I was broken hearted,all I did was cry because I could ne believe that she had done what she had done.

Anyway, on a happy note I'm glad to be back. I feel that I'm ready to start a new journey in 2005. I will start this journey by keeping up my walking. I hope to talk to some of you over the year and catch up with you. Please feel free to chat here and this year I'm planing to come in to your journals and visit with you. Thanks for listening, KIM :)

Good morning everyone. I hope everyone had a good New Years. Hubby and I did. We have already been for a walk today. I feel refreshed. I feel good. I feel positive. Have great day everyone. KIM :D

Good morning everyone, Rise and shine. I got up, put some old clothes on put a cap on to cover my hair (because I did not curl it yet) and I got out the door and went for a walk. I was home by 9.a.m. I will go for one more with hubby and the dog this afternoon. We are to get freezing rain later tonight when we normally go for one so we are going to go earlier. Have a great day everyone. KIM

Hi everyone, Had a good day so far. I'm back to the old grind tomorrow. So I won't be back on until tomorrow night. I hope all of you have a good day. Talk to you tomorrow. KIM

hey kim, i'm sorry about all you went through with your friend and boss. life throws many things at us at once, but we always find a way to persevere. i hope 2005 will be a succesful year for you and we're glad to have you here.

brandon ~o)

Thanks Brandon. It's good to be back. I had a busy day today and it is over now. I feel better now then I did 4 months ago. I have a more positive outlook at the moment. I hope I will keep it up. Have a good day Brandon and thnks for talking to me. KIM :)

Thanks rainer. I hope all is well with you? I'm doing alot better then I was a month ago. I was so busy at work and burned out. I was glad to have 4 days off at Christmas. I think I needed it. Anyway. I'm still doing alot of wondering about my boss but I'm now starting to carry on without the worrying. I still don't know all the details about what had gone on here so I don't feel that I should comment on things. But anyway from what I do know and what I did see it does not look good. I just hope some day she can come and tell me herself. I will not be contacting her at all for I had nothing to do with what she had done. I feel like the biggest fool on the earth though. What ever she had been doing she had been doing right under my nose for the past 5 years. I never saw it coming at all. I think that I was the one that was the most shocked, Anyway, I have to start not thinking about it at all and try and carry on. I do feel now that she is gone that she was part of my eating problem and I did not even know it. She was always nagging about everyone and making me go home depressed. KIm

Hi everyone, I hope you all had a nice weekend? I had a nice weigh in this morning. I lost 2 pounds this past week. I'm at 159 as of today. I first started out here a few years back at 168. So I'm slowly making progress. I've been up and down 4 or 5 pounds. for the past few years. I'm hoping to keep myself going down. The Dr. told me that is he did not see a good enough improvement that he would be sending me to a dietition and make me go on a diabetics diet like my sister. He did some bllod work on me back in the summer and told me he was going to give me 9 months to work on it myself and if the next set of blood work does not improve then its off to see the dietition. He means business. My mom has had breast cancer and a heart attack a few years back and thyroid problems, he does not want me to follow in those same foot steps. So my 9 months is up at the end of March. I've lost 6 pounds for him so far, not much you probably think but at least I've kept it off. Anyway, I do feel better about myself and my hubby is helping me keep my spirits up with all the stresses that have come up with the job the past 4 months.
I ended up meeting my new boss. She does not start now until maybe March she told me. She said she is in no hurry to come. They have to post her job and do all the interviews and then do a bit of shifting around her office before she comes to ours. So I'm it for at least 1 to 2 more months. I don't mind at all. More money for me. I need a new back door and we have been trying to save for a new deck and I would love a new couch. We will see what I can afford when this is all over. On top of it all this new boss gets 5 or 6 weeks holidays so I think I will be busy. When she finally gets here and settled I still have a weeks holiday I have to use up before the end of march. I think I will take a few days off and then take the rest off with the kids in March. Have a good day everyone. KIM :D

Good morning everyone. I had a busy week with work and did not get in very much exercise. So I'm going to try and get caught up with a jump start this weekend. I'm going for 3 walks today and maybe the same tomorrow. I've already been for 1 this morning and I'll go for 1 this afternoon and tonight with hubby and the dog. I use to find that if I went for a bunch of walks right after each other I would have trouble with my hips. I find now that if I spread them out during the day then I'm not as bad with the pain. I hope everyone has a good weekend. I also wanted to tell you that I will be getting a new computer one day this week and I may not be on here for 3 or 4 days. We are getting all our stuff from this one transfered to the new one so it has to go into the shop and be done. So please don't think that I gave up again.
I also wante dyou to know that I meet a woman that I have just known from afar. Her daughter knows my daughter and they have gone through school together. Well I have noticed that she has lost alot of weight. She told me all about her problems and her two daughters have the same problems so she is glad that they have started to change the way that they are all eating and they all are doing well. She told me that she had thought that I have lost some also. She said that she has seen me out walking alot and thought that I looked better then I had when she 1st know me.
I did tell her when I 1st mooved here I was over 180 and am now down to 159, but have been up and down all along. I asked her what she had been doing to finally make her big change and why it is finally staying off. She has probably lost 100 pounds.
She said of course that she had some medical problems and that is one reason that she had to make the changes but she said really that all she has done is follow the Canada food guide to the T and she is doing great. She said there is NO WHITE STUFF in the house at all. She said if there is the kids put their weight right back on. Anyway I just thought I would tell all of you that Maybe all we should do is just go back to the basic food guide and read it carefully right some key points down that we all might have over looked. Maybe our answer for weight loss has been under our noses all along and we just did not know it. Anyway I just thought that this might be a positive note for someone that might be droping in to read my note today. Have a great weekend everyone. KIM :D

So tonight I'm digging out all my diet stuff to review. I'm also getting out my exercise bits that I have clipped out of my mags. I'm going to try one of them every other day just to give my body a change. If I find that my knee can't take them I'll have to stop them but I want to try something new. I've got to go for a walk with hubby and the dog. I hope everyone has a happy and safe week. Good luck to everyone. KIM :)

Well, I've got it all out so I just have to review everything in the next few days and write any new key points that I might have missed. I think I need to focus on something else. I think that I'm getting in a depressed mood at the moment. I think that now that most of the stuff is over with my old boss, I think that some of the other things are starting to get to me. All the different feelings about the new boss coming and I'm trying to get the office ready for her. I hate the other person that I have been stuck working with, she is the one that I have not gotten along with for years. That has been tuff to work with her all this time. She is one of those people that no matter what you say she has to prove you wrong or one up you all day long. X-( . Or she insults you and then wonders why you walk away from her and don't talk to her for a few hours X-( . I like quiet, so when I'm by myself in the office I don't have any music going or any noise at all if I can help it. If I'm catching up on paperwork in the afternoon I need the quiet or the info just does not sink in. She comes in and says It's like a furneral home in here. I usually say so. I like the quiet. I've never told her that she can't turn on the radio? I think the thing that is bothering me the most is that the main office would not let me have the job. Union rules are that if someone puts in for a transfer then that person gets it. I had visions of being able to put my kids through university and being able to pay for it so they would not have a big bill when they are done but that is out the door. My hubby said that he is glad that I did not get it. He does not want me working full time so I can be home here for the girls more often. They are almost at the ages where they don't need me anymore. One drives on her own and the other one goes for her G1 in June. In an other year she won't need me either. I guess I feel that I won't be needed and I feel already left out. I know it sounds silly but I'm already starting to cry over them leaving the house and they have not even left yet. I had a brake down in the office after everyone was gone. And I don't even know why. I'm sure that it still has alot to do with my old boss. I feel that she let me down and I also feel that she was the only real friend that I had and she also left me hanging at the office to answer a mountain of questions that only she could answer to these people that came and tore the office apart. I had no answers for them because I had no idea what she was up to until they made me tear apart the office and get me to tell them where she kept things. What a mess. I cried for 3 weeks and I still don't have any answers of why she did what she did. I don't want to talk to her because I'm so angry that she would do this I don't want to see her. Anyway I'm rambling on. I should stop before I start to cry again. On a happier note, I should say good night and tomorrow will be a better day. KIM :)

Hi everyone. I hope all of you had a good day. I had a busy but productive day. And I got some other exercise in today. I shoveled 3 different times today. I went out 2 times at work in between customers and When I got home I did some more. I think I will need the heating pad tonight. I've got muscles in my back I did not know that I had. Talk to you tomorrow. KIM

I went to the library today and I picked up 3 different books on nutrition. They are not labeled diet in any way just on nutrition. Maybe I'll be able to understand a bit more of why I need to eat better instead of trying to fight my hunger and give in and eat badly. KIM

Good morning everyone. I hope all is well? I had a good night sleep. I only got up once. I woke up at 7.30. I've got 3 loads of laundry done and 2 more to go and I've got to get off here so I can start ironing. I want to get a few things done around here so I can get to reading the books that I got from the library. I hope everyone has a good day. KIM

Hi everyone. I hope all is well? I've had a good day so far. We are going to go for a 2nd walk after dinner. I have to wear my long johns all weekend or I would not be going. It's like -32 most of the weekend with the wind. I don't think I've lost any weight this week. We will see tomorrow. Have a good week everyone. KIM

Well I think that when I get a chance to see my Dr. Feb or March I'm going to ask him if I can see someone about my eating. If I get a letter from him then it can be covered under the health care. I hope so the last dietitian I went to was 60.00 the 1st visit and 45 an hour after that. And she wanted me to come and see her every week. I don't have the time or the money for that. I forsee alot of work and worrying issues starting to come up and I don't want to end up eating my way through them. I would like to stop it before I get any worse. KIM