INTRODUCTION
It's a birthday weekend...turning 37 and I'm about as unhappy as it gets. At the same time, I'm hopeful. To date I have always tried to address the willpower part of eating with little success, now weighing in at 182. I woke up this morning and started a Google search about emotional aspects of eating that brought me here.

The words I keyed in were "panic eating" - this is something I do that I have never admitted to anyone. Like I'm drowning and food is air. I know I'm not even hungry, but when I get in this mode I don't even care. It's emotional, a reaction to my life and environment. I don't have a horrible life, but do have a difficult one. In a business partnership with a significant other and my responsibilities are overwhelming. My work is behind a computer all day and into the night, every day, weekends, holidays, etc. The sedentary lifestyle doesn't help. The deep frustration from work and being in a relationship where I feel controlled is sometimes masked by chocolate, Ben & Jerrys, chips, etc.

THE NEW START
I commit to address not just the diet and exercise, but also the emotional. I feel this is so emotionally driven that if I don't, another diet will simply fail. I want to embrace life, be happy in little, simple moments, and make life worth living again.

So, I will try to get some sort of exercise every day for the next week, probably just walking but that's okay with me. I will try to be more reasonable about food, not eat late at night, and eat only when I'm truly hungry. If I want to eat for any other reason I'll log in here and ask for help.

I haven't really been open with anyone about this stuff and look forward to meeting some new folks here and us all advancing in our goals together.

Nighttime is the hardest. I feel listless and lost, worried about the stuff that didn't get done that day, already overwhelmed with the stuff that needs to get done the next day. I can feel that "drowning" sensation that causes me to eat compulsively, like turning to food will make me forget my woes.

Maybe I don't indugle in enough of life's pleasures. Hobbies, crafts, things that I can truly look forward to and enjoy. Evenings just seem so empty.

I moved to a new state a few years ago to be with my signifcant other and even today don't really know anyone from the area, so I don't have any local friends to chat or go out with. I am seeing that my life is really set up against my weight loss goals. And it is typing everything out here that is helping me see that the most, wow.

So, I guess in addition to more reasonable eating and adopting a modest exercise regimin, I really should be engaging in life more. Finding enjoyment in diverse activities and interacting with people.

And now the hunger seems to have gone away... yea!

I can relate - not knowing people and having someone to just up and call or meet somewhere, walk together. I really miss that. I have used this site to battle those times, too. We are here for you.

Today is the big B-Day and I have mixed emotions. When I don't feel good about myself I tend to get reclusive, so the fact I only have my significant other around to celebrate with is okay. I got very motivated finding DT yesterday and although I binged on Friday got on the scale this morning - 183! :c( I am not surprised, there was a price to pay for the loss of control, and, in a sense, it led me here so in truth it's a small price to pay.

The support here is wonderful and I think it will be an important component in me meeting my goals. Anyway, here's a log for yesterday:

Went to the store to get vitamins, something important that I haven't taken in a long time. During this and some other errands I parked far away from the store and walked for a little extra exercise. I also went on a nature walk for almost an hour, it was a beautiful afternoon and although the hills made me feel winded, it was a nice walk.

Concentrated on reasonable portions, drinking more water than usual (3 bottles), and successfully fought off nighttime cravings by writing about them here. Received a small amount of chocolate among my gifts, I had two small pieces and gave the rest to my signifcant other who "disposed of them" for me. :)

Really took a look in the mirror and am sad, but also hopeful. This is how I turned 37.

Hi, sounds like you had a lovely walk. Exercise is my toughest part. I HATE it!!! Have to force myself to do it when I can. As for the water. It is not easy. I have bottles in the fridge. I find that after a few months I actually prefer that over diet pop. In bottles I am sometimes amazed that I drank 20 oz. while from a glass it seems I just don't do as well. Sort of play mind tricks on myself. Also if I am hungry and it isn't time to eat or I need to wait a while, water does help satisfy my stomach (although not my brain) so that at least I am not as hungry and can wait for a little longer.

Hope you have a successful week! :D

Another note for today:

I customized my signature line to include one of my favorite quotes. I let things get to me too much and the quote "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." by Eleanor Roosevelt serves to remind me that I have more power over that process than I usually admit. When someone makes me feel sad, mad, frustrated, whatever, it's because I allow it. Not an easy process to reverse as I have always been quite dependent on the opinions of others, but I'm working on it.

Also, I added a symbol as an avatar that reminds me that there must be balance in life. Balanced diet, work time, personal time, etc. The more out of balance, the worse things get for me.

I hope seeing the quote and symbol with each post will serve as a constant reminder to me of the lessons of both.

It seems you're really dedicated to doing this. I'm glad to see that you're not looking at this as a "diet," but as a life change. That's hugely important. I wish you the best of luck.

I know I'm posting in my journal a lot. Part of it is the novelty of the idea, but another part of it is that I have a lot of emotions to work through to resolve this emotional eating.

Today was the B-Day. Did well until significant other treated me to dinner out. I ate too much, but not to the point of painful fullness, which is good. Most importantly, I am resolved to not feel guilty about it. Guilt for me is self-defeating, makes me self-loath, which in turn becomes despair and spirals onwards into the depths. And then....emotional emptiness, and emotional eating to fill it up. I want to break that cycle and not let it control me.

At the same time, I want to avoid giving in to eating that much again, so will resolve to drink more water before meals. Let's see if that helps.

Also found out significant other is conflicted about my weight - he gave me a hard time about eating so much of my entree yet shortly afterwards ordered unreasonably huge B-Day cake slice...plus ice cream....plus whipped cream...plus chocolate sauce...plus caramel sauce.... I only ate a few bites, not even a quarter of it. I saw something like this on Oprah last week, where one person was not ready for another to lose weight because the relationship dynamics would change. I found my observation tonight very interesting and will have to think about it more, plus continue to observe.

It is really helping to be able to write this stuff out, making me feel stronger. Usually I keep all of this in, I mean, even my significant other doesn't even know 10% of what I write here. I don't think keeping it in is doing me any good, in fact, maybe it's been compounding the problem. So, I will keep writing here. :)

Writing in my online journal is really helping me work through some of my feelings and making me feel more in control. I guess I never really get the chance to express my real feelings in daily life and keeping it all to myself hasn't been helping.

Today I'm very tired. Monday with a capital "M". I have a hard time getting to sleep at night, much on my mind. I end up watching TV until all hours and am exhausted the next day. When I'm tired, it's hard to keep up motivation, so I need to work on the ole sleep patterns.

I dread an upcoming trip back to where I grew up to visit family and friends. The fact I will see some people I love is overshadowed by the fact I look so heavy. I don't think those close to me are going to care, but it will make me self conscious nonetheless. Then, of course, someone always wants to take pictures - my worst nightmare. I am also very concerned about running into people from the old neighborhood or high school and would just be so ashamed and embarassed. Maybe I will post about this concern to see what others have to say, I think that could help me work through it.

Anyway, here is the log for yesterday:

I did some active housework and could feel the walk from Saturday. I could have done better with eating, but I also could have done worse. Most importantly, I didn't get mad at myself - big step. Took vitamins and some water. Want to get much more active, be much more careful about intake.

Found a diet buddy and am so grateful for the friendship and support. :)

My friends at DT, plus what I've been able to work out emotionally through my journal, have helped me be a bit more motivated. Today was a great start - reasonable portions, plenty of water, 20-30 minutes on the Gazelle... I even FELT good up until about a couple of hours ago, then I just crashed.

My sleep patterns aren't great, maybe as a result of poor diet, poor activity levels, and too much stress on my mind. I woke up really tired this morning, which I was able to shake off, but then a couple of hours ago I had to nap. Now I'm seriously groggy and trying to get some important stuff done.

I have also noticed that, despite the positive feelings I've been developing, when I look in a mirror it's another story. When I see my reflection I can only think of how much I hate how I look. All the weight around my face and under my chin, how thick and heavy I am throughout, how even my largest clothes are tight and I half-wondered if I was going to pop the top button off my pants today. Maybe part of it is all the water I've been drinking (does running to the bathroom 20 times a day count at all towards the exercise?) but it's still disheartening and depressing.

I did something today, I decided that I needed to pay more attention to me and take better care of myself. I did my hair in a nicer way, put on makeup (I almost NEVER do that anymore). Generally I just want to pay better attention to myself, inside and out. Maybe that has made me start looking at things I really don't want to, or am not ready to see.

Since I started writing I have been thinking more about the illness five years ago and how I put on about fifty pounds because of it, all in a relatively short period of time. Imagine the inactivity of someone with mono eating 2x-3x the amount of food, soda, coffee, that they should just to try to muster up enough energy to get through the work day. Puts on some pounds, and fast. Anyway, I would go out, visit friends, etc., and I didn't even realize I had put on 50 pounds! I was totally that out of it. Now that I think back I can remember the reaction of some people when I saw them for the first time after putting on the weight, they didn't say anything and certainly didn't treat me differently, but boy, I remember something in their faces.

That was a profoundly hard time in my life. My signficant other at the time called me "lazy" and gave me such a hard time. I know he was embarassed about my weight gain, and ultimately his lack of support and consideration was part of the reason for the end of that relationship. It took me almost a year after that to finally realize I had chronic fatigue after the initial bout with mono, then I was able to do something about it. He found out later that my "laziness" and weight gain was due to this illness and was so upset he hadn't supported me better. But in my opinion, you just don't attack someone you love the way he did. Some of those wounds still seem to be open, causing my eyes to well up with tears even as I write about it years later. He made me feel like %$#^ and I am still letting him do it. Time for me to realize some of this depression is actually suppressed anger and I need to write about it, let it go, and move on.

So, tonight I forgive someone that I think was shallow-minded, that engaged in a relationship but could not take the good with the bad, that attacked instead of really trying to get to the heart of issues, that was one of the worst influences on my self-esteem - all this from not an enemy, but a signficant other that is supposed to show love and help lift another to better places in life. I forgive, because it's what I need to move on.

Difficult night for me emotionally last night. I was working through some stuff in my journal and realized I was pretty hung up on the time several years ago when I had the biggest weight gain. Ready to let go, I posted in a DT support thread asking for validation of my feelings.

Hours later it came to me - here I go again! One of my biggest problems is I let / rely up on others to tell me how I feel about myself. While the validation I asked for last night was positive, it was asking others if it was okay to feel the way I did anyway - and I shouldn't have to do that! So, although I got a wonderful response waiting for me this morning, I let go before that and realized I didn't need the validation anymore. Success!!!

DIET
My diet isn't a fasttrack, it's a slow modification of chaning my eating habits to eat more reasonably and eat better. Better foods, no binging. A few times I have felt like I wanted to eat more but was able to move on anyway. When I'm just a little hungry, drinking water does seem to help.

EXERCISE
Again, not trying to move mountains all at once - incorporating small, reasonable activities into my life gradually. If I try to do too much too fast, it just backfires anyway - with frustration and stress injuries.

EMOTIONS
Writing in my journal is helping a lot. Being here at DT and chatting with others who go through the same thing is helping a lot. The warm support and enouragement is helping. Emotionally I am feeling stronger, more grounded. Writing things out has a way of releasing issues for me so I'll keep at it. Also realized wording is very important. I can make a bigger issue out of something than it really is by words. For instance, say I'm hungry. I could say to myself or someone else "I feel a little hungry right now, but I've eaten enough today and it will be okay if I just have some water." OR, I could start selling my mind on the idea that the hunger is a bigger issue by saying "Oh, my gosh, I am soooooooooooo hungry, if I don't eat something soon I'm going to faint!!!" It's the same with issues, I can use a term like "that bothered me" or "I was so embarassed I don't want to leave the house for a week". I can make mountains out of molehills, all with words. So I'm working on that.


Anyway, log for yesterday:

Food at reasonable portions. At dinner, I was VERY hungry and had to concentrate on keeping things in control. Stopped before I wanted to, which is a mini-success for me. I think it takes the body about 20 minutes to realize it's full, and when 20 minutes rolled around I indeed was full, so the timing was good.

Exercise was good, I did the gazelle for maybe 20-30 minutes in front of a movie so it went really fast and felt good. Also did the thing about parking far away again so I'd have to walk more to do errands, it's a nice way to get some extra exercise in. Then, last night, when I was a little upset, I did some weights for upper body - again in front of a favorite movie. Felt good and I was glad to turn the energy into something positive.

Sabrina~hey girl, I just wanted to sat hello. Your journal is amazing, keep it up and you will do just fine. I need to be going, but wanted to let ya know I was here and hope ya have a GREAT day!

Sabrina, you are not alone, sweetie! :wave: It's great that you are identifying some of the negative feelings that may be contributing to this need you're expressing re managing weight. I think a lot of us feel that way and journaling here is a great way to help release that ... I do it in my journal also and in other places on the internet! Keep a'goin' ... you're doin' great and will reach your goal, I have no doubt of it!!!

Hi, sophie44 and Athletea, and previously Susan and teacher81! I am honored to have you visit, read, and comment on my journal! I just write from the heart and really didn't know if anyone would even read all this stuff! It feels very cleansing just to write it all out and is playing an important part of the healing process for me. :)

I feel bad for anyone trying to keep up with my journal, LOL, thoughts are just pouring out of me! :)

Anyway, I just love Oprah and her shows typically give me a lot to think about on many different levels. She is one wise lady. On a recent show she was interviewing some overweight people, and one of the things she asked was if they were ready for their "relationship dynamics" to change with weight loss. If someone asked me "are you ready to lose weight?" there'd be no pause before a resounding "YES!"

However, since it's been such a hard journey for me, I have to think the answer is not that simple. I think mentally preparing for the change goes hand in hand with the motivation to make that change. If I'm really not ready, if I haven't sorted all those little haunts out, it won't matter HOW motivated I am, I will find a way to fail.

So, I have been reflecting back on the times in my life when I was more fit - never really "skinny", mind you, but not as heavy as now. I remember still being very insecure, wow, unbelievably insecure. I remember that some of the attention was flattering at the same time as some of it was bothersome. Never seemed to be from the people I would have wanted, but received unwelcomed attention from male friends, associates, my boss, even a male ob/gyn. One female "friend" leeched onto me, borrowed my clothes, did makeup and hair like me, essentially copied me for whatever reason. She was nice as could be to me, but I found out later she would make up bad stuff about me and tell whoever would listen, and because of it there were people that disliked me that didn't even know me. Worst yet, if I showed even the remotest interest in a guy, she would put her attentions towards him in full gear like it was a competition. To me, that is just not cool.

Flash forward to today, where I stand at a cash register and can feel the distain from the cashier because I don't conform to society's beauty standards, all those little looks and times when I get ignored or treated a certain way that I think is different than if I were in shape. I can see the difference in how people treat me, but I guess if I really look at it, there's a balance. There's bad and good attention in either situation, so, given the choice, which would I prefer?

Another thought is about relationship dynamics. The only one I can really think of that would make a difference is with my signficiant other. In my opinion, part of our relationship has become about his condescention towards me, his superiority. He does make hurtful comments about my weight, he does perform "diet sabotage", I do not think HE is ready for the relationship dynamic to change. So I must be 2x as strong to get through it, because I am ready, and I have the support I need now (at DT) even without him.

I am practically sick with exhaustion this morning. Last night I had to deal with a major personal issue that kept me up almost all night stressing about it, and the few brief moments I did sleep I was dreaming about it.

Yesterday I did not get to exercise, but I did try to be more active with some housework. Feel sore from exercise of days before that, so one day of rest may not be a bad idea. Feel like I have been working out some good stuff on the emotional side of my eating, now need to concentrate on the exercise and better diet more. Eating has become a habit, and it's hard to deal with hunger. What do I do when water isn't enough to satisfy it? Need to work out some positive solutions to this stuff.

Yesterday I ate too much but didn't binge - not by my definition, anyway. I ate reasonably most of the day but after a really light dinner I was just still so hungry. Instead of trying to tough it out for hours and giving in at 8, 9, 10 pm when it would be super bad, I made some pasta pretty early on and ate it. I had some left over (doesn't happen a lot) so I was still trying to keep it in check. Still working hard on not letting myself feel guilty - hey, I was being very careful and deliberate. With just about each bite I asked if I was eating it because I was hungry or because I just wanted to. I ate because I was hungry, and I won't torture myself over that.

Just a little thought that came to me yesterday, based on Oprah's show about "French Women Don't Get Fat", the book. Basically, the French approach to food (and life) is about pleasure. From my understanding, they sit down and consciously enjoy each bite, savoring good foods, wines, etc. They don't need 10 pounds of brie and crackers to get what they want out of it - small portions of savory dishes allow them to embrace the pleasure of the eating experience. I am, in a way, trying to retrain my mind that food is not evil, that eating it is not evil, that enjoying it is not evil.

In fact, I want to concentrate on savoring it, enjoy my food, and let that replace binging, overeating, etc. Hard to explain, but my previous patterns have been about quantity and mindless eating. "Oh, this pizza is so good, I am going to just chow down and devour half of the entire pie before feeling like I'm busting seams." My new approach would be "This pizza is so good, I will allow each bite to be savored and celebrated." It kind of is working already, because I get more taste out of a few bites than I do eating a large quantity very quickly.

I also need to not eat in front of the computer or TV, because that detracts from the experience, and contributes to "mindless eating". Need to plan out my meals better, too.

On a different note, a post yesterday reminded me how much I enjoyed reading certain fitness magazines, all the little tips I used to get. I think I will start picking up Shape again.

I live with my significant other. He does not hesitate to give me a hard time about what I'm eating, when I'm eating, says bad stuff about my looks, has grabbed some flab to tease me, etc. It is hurtful to me that he try to dictate to me how I live my life, and take on this air of superiority about it. I find his approach condescending and belittling.

I would feel this way whether he was ultra-fit or not, because I don't feel that in relationships people should "tell" the other what to do - which is the way I feel he approaches it. "You should do this...or do that...are you really going to eat that?..."

I think if he is concerned about me and my health he should have a frank and rational discussion about it instead of trying to make his points by trying to bring me down. In fact he is at an all-time high weight of his life. He doesn't eat remarkably well, doesn't do much for exercise, and has some bad health habits. But I don't tell him that I don't like how he looks, or give him unsolicited advice about his diet or exercise habits, or made the same condescending remarks. His choices are just that, HIS, although I have expressed concern in a rational way about certain bad habits so he would at least know how I felt.

My opinion on the matter is that his life is his own to live - whether that be towards a goal of health or not. Why can't he just let me live my own life? Does it take making me feel bad to make him feel good about himself?

Since finding DT on Saturday it's been roughly five days of soul-searching entries in my journal. I have been able to release a lot of pent up emotions that I needed to let go of to move onward. To date I have not had any other release for these feelings so they had been festering and holding me back. Although ALL of my emotional issues are certainly not resolved (I wish!) I feel like I have now set myself up to move on to the next chapter: real weight-loss change.

Diet, exercise, adequate sleep, and balance in life.

Thanks so much to everyone at DT who has already shown much support and encouragement. :)

Feel TOM coming on but made the mistake of getting on the scale anyway...the numbers aren't supposed to go THAT way.... :c( What a pain.

Did pretty well yesterday although I didn't work out. Ate pretty reasonably but then at night felt hungry and had a small bowl of cereal - would prefer not to do that again. I have my morning water with me now (.5L bottle, I find I do better with bottles instead of glasses for whatever reason) and have vowed to drink it before morning coffee, etc. Wondering if I should start counting calories to get a better handle on what I'm eating, just as an exercise to help understand portions and snacking, etc.

Got some good news (finally) on some recent projects but also got some bad news with regard to some health issues of friends. Thinking about death and loss, which also makes me think about life, too.

More resolved than ever to meet my goals. Have a good Thursday, everyone!

Sabrina I think that you are doing great by starting the process of identifying your feelings and how they contribute to your weight. I believe that most of us get something out of being overweight, otherwise we wouldn't be this way. So its great that you are on the path of figuring out what it is you get out of it and that will undoubtedly help your process.

Now that I have my power back, getting on the scale this morning and seeing 184 really ticked me off! :) So I decided to get it into full swing to do something about it. Re-booting my life.

From another DT member's post I found the site www.fitday.com (www.fitday.com) and started putting in my food/beverages. Having logged my caloric intake at different times over the years, I find this is great! It calculates just about everything having to do with nutrition. I debated about making my food log public and decided to do so. That, plus putting a link to it in my signature line here, would make me more accountable.

Also decided to enter my daily logs at night, with hopes it would make me less likely to eat again afterwards.

DIET
1450 calories (23% fat, 57% carbs, 20% protein)

EXERCISE
In addition to a strenuous run/walk that lasted 15 minutes, I also did some more strenuous activites around the house.

SLEEP
Am going to try to shift my sleeping habits to sleep longer, starting earlier and getting up earlier. It may mean I'll have to take the TV out of the bedroom.... Bought a fitness magazine today and will read some of it tonight. EDIT: Ended up getting 7 hours of interrupted sleep, but feel off to a good start.

Came to a realization today. Often I blame allowing myself to let others dictate how I feel about myself. The truth is that I do really dislike how I look and am embarassed. So I'm doing something about it - for me.

JMT - Thanks for posting! The emotional stuff is a real pain but it is so key to why I eat I can't ignore it any longer. And working through it is really making me feel better. :)

Am a bit tired because I am reworking my sleep schedule, but so far have been successful in fighting off taking a nap. I-) Working out in the late afternoon, not TOO late, should help me feel more tired at the right time and hopefully help get me on track.

Keeping track of what I eat has been a MAJOR educational experience, and is making me much more careful than I think I would be otherwise.

Am trying something new this time. I am volunteering for physically strenuous chores. Typically I have avoided anything that required...well...effort. To help achieve my goals of becoming more active and burning off calories, I am doing much more household work - and not even griping about it! :O I think in the end it will be a win-win.

DIET
1600 calories (38% fat, 42% carbs, 20% protein)

EXERCISE
Gazelle for 23 minutes; stretching; free weights for upper body after that.

SLEEP
Will log this in the morning.

Sleep...ah, that elusive creature. Tried to relax and watch TV at around 7pm, after two good days of lower calorie eating and much increased activity, I "crashed"! Napped for over an hour and woke up, fought to watch TV without sleeping for a few hours. After that, sleep was intermittent until about 6:30am.

My arms ached, likely not from the weights but from the household chores when I moved heavy stuff around. It was hard to get comfortable.

I started thinking about making my goals this time, how it would feel, and was just overwhelmed with the possibilities. Maybe this was like "visualization" and should become part of my routine.

Went to write something in my journal and don't know where my entry from last night went, about yesterday. Anyway, here it is again:

DIET
1550 calories (33% fat, 45% carbs, 22% protein)

EXERCISE
Stepper for 25 minutes, plus some simultaneous resistance arm exercises. Am still trying to be very active around the house with chores to keep my activity level up - plus it is helping me feel more energetic through the day.

SLEEP
Again, crashed around 7pm, watched a little TV but didn't get to see any program all the way through. Sleep was intermittent, got up around 8:30am and finally feel somewhat refreshed.

I took on a big project to get all my clothes out and box them up by different sizes. This way when I reach certain weight loss goals it will be easier to take out a box and have an available wardrobe. It was also kind of inspirational to see some old favorites that I really like and think about fitting into them again some day. I used to really like clothes - shopping for them, dressing nicely each day, but weight gain has really changed that. When I can fit into the clothes I like again it's going to be a lot of fun. :)

I guess it's been a week since logging on to DT. It all started with a Friday binge, and subsequent search on the internet that led me here. I began writing in my journal, desparate to work out some of the emotional issues that I think cause me to eat. Realized I have little for emotional outlets in my life and writing about some of these things has helped me move forward.

At first I had no structured plan, no real structured goals, but I found out this made me feel less accountable. Another post here led me to www.fitday.com (www.fitday.com) where I am now tracking my daily eats. This is helping me a great deal, as I can see my caloric intake real-time as the day progresses. I have been modifying my dinner based on the calories, fat/carbs/protein to that point to try to keep things evened out. I have not felt deprived or hungry since starting it, partly because I picked up some small snacks to munch on like South Beach bars and rice cakes, just a few to get me through. I don't eat three big meals but lots of little snacks through the day and that seems to keep my energy up and keep me from feeling hungry.

Have reversed how I approach life. Two weeks ago I was very sedentary. If I could avoid physical effort, I did. It was almost like a goal to exert myself as little as possible. As a result, I felt lifeless, motionless, disengaged from life. Now I am very motivated to lose some weight and build a healthier lifestyle. I take it upon myself to not only exercise, but constantly work around the house. I no longer look at chores as inconvenient and frustrating, but as opportunities to keep myself moving, active, and in some cases get a tiny bit of exercise (moving heavy stuff, taking out trash/recycling, etc.). At the same time I am enjoying more activity, I am also enjoying that my environment is better organized - I feel better in a clean, organized household.

Am constantly working on the two biggest lessons I need to work on - "balance", which is the reason for my avatar symbol, and not letting other people dictate to me how I should feel about myself - the reason for the quote in my signature line. These are tough lessons for me to learn and I will have to keep working on them.

Regardless of the number on the scale, I want to work out a non-food reward system that will allow me to recognize dedication to my efforts. I will have to think about this some more and come up with some good rewards.

In a week I'm suprised at how many issues have come up, and I can't say I've always dealt with them the best way, but at least I didn't resort to food.

So, on to week two...

Been very tired today, emotionally and physically. I find that I typically require more sleep the first week or two upon taking up a new exercise schedule, so hopefully this is only a phase.

DIET
1485 calories (25% fat, 55% carbs, 20% protein)

EXERCISE
Stepper for 25 minutes.

SLEEP
Got to sleep around midnight and up on this day off at 8:30am. Sleep was again, intermittent, and it was hard to get to sleep even at midnight. Seems to be more restful sleep when it starts earlier, like 8 to 10. Will work on that this week.

I made a deal with myself to weigh-in each Monday morning, and I have to be honest - I dreaded this first weigh-in. During the first week, before I went on a plan (3 days not on a plan, 4 days on) I actually had gained 2 pounds! This is what prompted me to start counting calories. I feel I have done much better in the last four days, but to expect to lose more than the 2 pounds I put on seemed unreasonable. I just really hoped I didn't weigh more than when I started...

Got on the scale and was shocked to see 180.5! (W 35 / H 44) I know 1.5 pounds lost isn't a lot, but I'll take it. :) I don't often see the scale numbers go that way.

Am super resolved to go below 180 soon...

Soularized, thanks for the ideas, they're great! Glad you visited. :)

Okay, I need to write out the jumble of thoughts going through my head. First, I am still elated about the weigh-in. I was not expecting to go down below 182. But the numbers have had two distinct effects on me.

OVERDOING IT
First, I am now super motivated in trying to achieve my goals - I can feel the temptation to overdo it right now. "Well, if I can lose 1.5 pounds in a week, if I double my exercise and halve my kcals, I can lose 3!" I don't want to get into that, because it is a dangerous cycle and one I've been in before. It only leads to poor health, feeling tired, and abandoning the diet.

OVERCONFIDENT
Strangely, in contrast, I also feel overconfident. I have eaten already today and was surprised at my thought process "Oh, it's okay to have a few extras of these, after all, I'm doing something right and on the right track."

I don't want to succumb to either and need to be very careful right now to stay on course. Writing it out it helping me identify the issues and will make me more accountable later.

Okay, back to my regularly scheduled program. :)

Cross-training is helping prevent repetitive motion stress injuries / soreness, even in just a few days my running has improved although this is only my second time out. With different exercises, mostly low impact, I'm shifting the work around to different muscles each time so no one group is stressed every single day. This is an answer I've been looking for for a very long time to keep my energy up during workouts.

DIET
1340 calories (26% fat, 52% carbs, 22% protein)

EXERCISE
Run / walk stenuously for 21 minutes; one hour walk this morning at a moderate pace.

SLEEP
Rewarded myself by renting a movie but it was longer than a standard one. I ended up watching it until midnight and then had interrupted sleep for nine hours. :( Feel pretty tired now.

Hi Sabrina,

Reading your journal has been very interesting, and you cause me to stop and rethink many things. I watch Oprah quite often, and saw the shows you mentioned. One thing that has always puzzled me is learning WHY I over-eat. I am 63 now, and still don't have the answer. I hope you are better at solving your problem than I have been. So far, you are doing very well, and I wish you all the very best. You seem to have a good handle on what you want to accomplish, and you are working at solving your puzzles to make success a reality.

Hi, sandielynne and Soularized, thanks for stopping by!

sandielynne, emotional eating has been a part of my life for decades. I don't have all the answers yet, have simply worked a few of the immediate issues out and continue to ponder the rest. But at least it has helped clear the way for my work now, and I hope to continue to resolve some of these issues as I work out and eat better. Perhaps, evenually, I can get to some real healing. :)

Soularized, I caved this morning and weighed myself again. I was hoping so much to be in the 170s! I was not, but did lose another .5, putting me at an even 180. Maybe if I feel I'm doing well I'll weigh in again mid-week. I personally find the numbers on the scale misleading so it's important for me not to let them tell me how I'm doing except on a periodic basis. An "off" day where the numbers go up because of whatever reason could be really frustrating.

I guess if I could do all this without running I would, but my goals are so important to me and running is one of the single most effective ways for me to personally lose weight. In the past I have overdone it and tried to run every day, exhausting the most stressed muscle groups and also causing minor injuries from the repetition. Mixing things up a bit has been working to keep that from happening, plus makes things more interesting for me.

So, yes, I weighed in again this morning at 180. I am dealing with some difficult stuff right now, mostly in my relationship, but am working hard to stay on track for my goals regardless (I have to admit I thought about some baaaad food last night but didn't give in). I realized this is one thing I can do for me, that my successes are my own, and right now that is really important to me.

Things seem kind of "off" today. Relationship problems have been impacting my emotions hard. Have been trying to shake off feelings of low self-esteem and not let it get to me and how I feel about myself. Seems to be taking up more energy to do this than all my workouts in the last week combined.

Was doing a work project and didn't realize the time, so I ate dinner before working out to avoid eating too late. First time since I went on a plan, but I guess it's bound to happen sometimes so let's see how it impacts the routine.

DIET
1430 calories (24% fat, 54% carbs, 22% protein)

EXERCISE
Gazelle for 25 minutes.

Have still been trying to sort a lot out in my mind. While it's only been just over a week, I feel like I'm on a good path and have been trying to figure out what has caused failures in the past - hoping this would keep me from failure this time.

One, for sure, is that I haven't done much to address the emotional aspects of eating. From time to time I just get very motivated, get out there and exercise, eat better, and rejoice in (short-lived) success. I now look at this as addressing the symptoms, not the "illness" itself and have been working as hard at the emotional side as the rest of it.

Another is that a vacation, injury, or other event will get me off track and I just never get back on. I need to remain committed to my goals and find ways to keep at it even while traveling or suffering another setback.

Anyway, I think it's TOM time and hope that's the reason for the 2lb spike upwards last week - if so, maybe it will spike back down this week and improve my progress even more! Yea!

Realized when running today that, although I felt strong and went even further than last time, that I really need two days of other activity in between running to fully recouperate. Also, I started out the day terribly preoccupied with relationship issues and felt somewhat depressed, but thankfully stayed eating right and, once I got out there and ran, felt significantly better afterwards. Next time I feel down I'll get on the stepper or something.

DIET
1500 calories (33% fat, 42% carbs, 24% protein)

EXERCISE
Run / walk briskly for 27 minutes.

Oddly today was not as emotionally stressful as the past few. However, I do have some overwhelming responsibilities - work tasks that must be done - and with so much to do it's just not enjoyable or satisfactory to me. I feel preoccupied while working, craving relief, escape, and volla - a big old trap for wanting food.

The lure of food was pretty strong today, hard to resist. Didn't feel hungry, just bored at the same time as completely overwhelmed with too much to do. How odd! Definitely a battle I will have to learn to win in the future to stay on track.

Also, need to stop weighing myself every day. This is a long term endeavor, I want to focus on good health and know that I am also working towards weight loss, but not try to measure that loss day to day because it will only be frustrating. (Still at 180 today, but TOM is a factor.)

Oh, what to do on my next vacation. I need to stick to my plan, find a way to continue my exercise, just keep really in tune with schedules so I don't get to the end of a day and say "darn, missed out on exercise AGAIN". I should take some of these foods with me that are helping me now, like oranges, South Beach bars, etc. so when I'm in the car and hungry, a drive through doesn't look as appealing.

DIET
1640 calories (24% fat, 53% carbs, 22% protein)

EXERCISE
Not done yet.

Didn't end up exercising yesterday, thought I would take the day off. TOM is making life a bit difficult, plus stresses from relationship and work. Got up this morning to a stubborn scale that still reads 180, how depressing. Need to gather myself together, get through this work day and make it a productive weekend with exercise so I can stay on track.

Am stuffed up (congested), tired, and need the break for one more day about exercise. With a big work project done, I hope to finally get some quality sleep tonight and be reenergized tomorrow.

DIET
1530 calories (24% fat, 55% carbs, 20% protein)

EXERCISE
None - taking another day off.

The calories might look low but I have hardly moved today. :) I have been relaxing with naps and basically watching TV most of the day. I almost never do that, and it feels good.

Felt "diet-weak" for a few days but tried to be very careful and think through any issue that came up in my mind. Was able to get onto the stepper today and get a good workout.

DIET
1275 calories (38% fat, 40% carbs, 22% protein)

EXERCISE
Stepper for 25 minutes.

Great point, LOL. :)

Okay, did my Monday weigh-in a day early because I have lots to do tomorrow and might forget. Lost another .5 to be at 179.5 (W 34 H 44) - not great but I'm glad to see the 170s - finally. :) That makes total weight loss for this week 1lb, the week before 1.5lb. Seems kinda slow...

DIET
1275 calories (25% fat, 51% carbs, 24% protein)

EXERCISE
Run 1 mile and walk briskly to equal 30 minutes, free weights for upper body, stretching.

DIET
1315 calories (34% fat, 42% carbs, 24% protein)

EXERCISE
Stepper for 30 minutes, stretching.

Here I am, just having worked out and finished dinner. I feel stronger every day, even if my glimpses in the mirror don't reflect my newfound strength. I don't LOOK how I feel. For over two weeks now I have been dedicated to my fitness goals, passing many "tests" along the way. I have been heavy for a long time, but am gearing my mind up for a new life dynamic.

At the same time, I have many, many thoughts on my mind. I have realized there is a difference between existing and living. For a long time, I simply existed. Pay the bills, go to work, deal with this, deal with that. One day I looked up and couldn't believe how heavy I was. Have tried to address it several times, with no lasting success to date.

Now, as I work very hard towards my goals, possibly harder than I ever have, I feel regret. Regret that I may have done permanent damage to myself from years of nutritional neglect and lack of exercise. I hope that maybe in sharing this that others who might be pursuing fitness goals of their own get some strength and motivation from it.

I want to achieve these goals. I have “wanted” to for a long time – so why haven’t I been able to? Not committed enough, too distracted with other things in life, plus my unhealthy lifestyle must have been doing something “for” me or I wouldn’t have been putting on weight. I was getting a payoff of some kind, I think I filled emotional emptiness with food.

This time I want it and am working hard for it. I worry about the different tests I will eventually have to face – eating out, vacation, someone putting a cake in front of me… These things will come up eventually, and I hope I have the power to pass and move on.

I saw a movie recently and someone in it really reminded me of the friends I had at a really good time in my life. It made me sad to think my favorite days are all behind me – I don’t want it to be that way. This one influence has been huge.

I have been visualizing the different outfits I’d want to wear if I were in good shape, how good I would feel about myself, how I would feel around friends and family. This is a positive influence on my efforts.

All in all, I have had a lot on my mind while I’ve been very dedicated in my efforts. I know I'm on the right path, just hope I get to realize my dreams.

DIET
1260 calories (26% fat, 52% carbs, 22% protein)

EXERCISE
Gazelle for 30 minutes.

Wowwwww.... I am practically in zombie mode. Sleep hasn't been very restful, so sometimes, like this morning, I get up and feel tired all day. I think part of it is that I'm not eating much for calories - especially compared to what I used to. Odd thing is that I don't feel hungry. This is a good thing, but at the same time makes it too easy to overdo it. Tempting to not eat much, exercise too much, with hopes of seeing those numbers (currently "frozen" - is my scale broken?) plumet!

So, getting through today has been tough. I will make a commitment to myself to try to eat better (more) tomorrow to see if that helps. Maybe I'll drag myself to the grocery store tonight and get some fun but nutritious things to eat.

Made the mistake (again) of getting on the scale this morning. Weight should NOT be measured daily, there are too many variables. Anyway, it hasn't budged, making the temptation to overdo it even stronger.

I am still pretty tired even today but am in a good mood - the scale said 178.5, down another pound. NOW I really need to stop weighing myself every day. :)

But I do feel relief that the scale is actually moving. Yesterday I felt so awful (refer to "zombie post") and it was depressing that the numbers weren't improving. It was really great to see that change this morning.

In two and a half weeks I've lost 3.5 pounds, if you count the 182 I weighed in at to start. But that first week I did weigh in at 184 mid-week for whatever reason, maybe from a binge just before starting on my plan that caught up with me. It sure doesn't seem like the pounds are coming off very fast to me, although I feel a difference, even if slight.

DIET
1565 calories (32% fat, 49% carbs, 19% protein)

EXERCISE
Run 1 mile and walk for a total of 30 minutes, free weights for upper body, stretching.

Had to force myself to take in more calories today, but it appears to have made a difference. I do feel more energetic, certainly better than yesterday. Am still floating from the wonderous news this morning, down one pound - yea!

I have been doing a lot of positive visualization, which I think is the exact opposite of the self-defeating stuff I used to do (that makes it sound like it was eons ago but it was only three weeks!). This visualization thing seems to do a lot for my motivation, so I will keep doing it.

Found the articles at DT and some look very helpful - I will try to read one every few days and really absorb the information.

Thanks, Soularized! The idea you had about varying the daily kcal helped me out yesterday, I have been tired and it helped to go to 1600 but at the same time my average is still around 1440. I actually got on the scale again this morning (I have GOT to stop doing that!) and it read 177.5. I think this is very likely lost water weight - both the water retained from TOM finally taking off and possibly my body adjusting to getting lots of water two and a half weeks consistently. I knew there was some extra water hanging around so this is good.

Again, this morning I feel tired. I stepped up my free weights yesterday and feel quite sore today, but I like the feeling. I suspect that tired feeling will go away as my body becomes more accustomed to the lower kcal intake and the increased activity, if it does not I will have to do some things differently because it is hard to function feeling this way. Although I have no problem doing it for the short term to get to the next stage.

DIET
1395 calories (22% fat, 56% carbs, 22% protein)

EXERCISE
Stepper for 30 minutes.

My routine for the past two and a half weeks has been to get up, have my coffee with skim milk (no sugar), try to get some water in, but not eat until 10-11. I know this goes against some of the teachings of a good diet, but I will have to make a gradual shift to eating breakfast earlier, and I don't think that will be anytime soon. Reason being that I am MUCH better at controlling my hunger and eating throughout the day when I abstain from food for a little while in the morning. The earlier in the day I eat, the more hungry I am throughout the day. Sad but true.

Anyway, at 10-11 I have a decent meal, usually try to get complex carbs in then so I can go lighter on them later in the day. From that time to my workout, roughly 4-6pm, I snack on light, healthy snacks and drink lots of water. No coffee after the first meal, no water after 6pm. I get in a snack for a little extra energy, do my workout, then have dinner. From what I read yesterday, I will try to not eat later than 6pm so I can get to sleep by 10pm - sounds like there should be four hours between dinner and turning in for the night.

Hey, Solarized! Yes, I would like to start working out in the mornings, but that also has a tendency to make me hungry all day. It is something I will have to shift as I get in better shape - there's some progress I need to make before I can shift my eating or my exercise patterns.

DIET
1520 calories (35% fat, 45% carbs, 20% protein)

EXERCISE
Stepper for 30 minutes.

Currently I am 177.5 pounds, 5'6" and in generally poor but improving physical shape. I have progressed quickly to thirty minutes of cross-training cardio a day and upper body freeweights roughly three times a week, which I plan to maintain until there's reason to implement another plan. I like to exercise and feel stronger just about every day, but also don't want to overtrain.

My number one priority is taking off about 40 pounds of fat, and, with that goal, to do it in a healthy manner, building muscle, strength and endurance at the same time. If I could lose the max of 2 pounds of fat a week, this goal would be achievable by about November/December this year, but I also am aware that plateaus and other obstacles might push this out a bit.

I have been thinking a lot about my ultimate goals. I enjoy free weights but at this current time am not interested in striving for overly muscular results. I would like to improve strength and endurance so that daily activities are more enjoyable, and also engage in some of the sports I like at a decent level of performance.

In further research I have learned a lot more about diet and exercise routines and have some shorter term goals to slowly improve both. Three weeks ago I made a relatively drastic change to my life in diet and exercise, and prefer to phase in these new improvements a bit more slowly.

Positive results visualization has been pretty motivating for me. I have gone through some tough emotional times, even in just three weeks, but so far have been able to stick to the routine and keep progressing towards my goals.

Thanks so much to friends at DT. The support has been an important element in my progress. :)

DIET
1350 calories (25% fat, 57% carbs, 19% protein)

EXERCISE
Run just over 1 mile, walk remaining time for 34 minutes, free weights for upper body, stretching.

Have mixed emotions during this journey. I am trying harder than I think I ever have, within reason of course so as not to overdo it. I want to stay this course and worry a bit about being deterred by upcoming challenges. Some days I feel strong, others very tired, although to date I have been good about sticking to my plan regardless.

Solarized is right, it is exciting to think about what is possible in the coming months. By the end of three months on my program, at this same rate (roughly 1.5 lbs per week), I will have lost another 15 pounds and be in the 160s - something I haven't seen in years. If I optimize my weight loss and lose 2 lbs per week over the next ten, I could well be at my lowest weight in years. Attaining my ultimate goals by late November to December timeframe is ambitious but possible and would be amazing.

The before / after pictures shared at DT and DT success stories are motivating - I have read a few and find them inspiring.

Weighed in this morning to mark three weeks on my plan - 177 (W 33.5 H 43). Five pounds lost, and it feels like my approach has been reasonable and healthy.

DIET
1320 calories (39% fat, 40% carbs, 21% protein)

EXERCISE
Gazelle for 30 minutes.

I ache. Not "good" muscle soreness, but my right leg aches, especially in the thigh. I debated about even working out today but decided to try it and ended up doing the entire 30 minutes. My schedule over the next week may force me to take some days off from exercise and I don't want to lose any time I have available to me.

Talked to a friend that decided about a week ago to cut out complex carbs to lose some weight and says she took of 9 pounds in about a week. ???? I don't get it, I'm working my tail off with (reasonable) exercise and a relatively balanced diet and have only lost a total of 5 in three weeks. It's a bit depressing to me, I guess I can handle the slow progress of weight loss, after all I'm undoing years of bad habits. But when someone else blows my results right out of the water it's a little hard to deal with emotionally because I want this so bad.

Anyway, I've noticed I need a lot more sleep, which isn't always easy. Sleep is typically interrupted - it is noisy around the house - which partially explains why I don't feel like I'm getting enough.

Anyway, on to week four......

DIET
1305 calories (27% fat, 54% carbs, 19% protein)

EXERCISE
Run just over 1 mile, walk remainder to make 33 minutes, upper body free weights.

Just read my last entry. Funny that my leg was totally okay from the minute I got up today, didn't even remember it ached until I just read that. Guess that's a good sign.

I worked out VERY hard today because it is unlikely with my schedule that I'll be able to tomorrow. I really think I'm going to feel this one, too.

Solarized, thanks for stopping by again and for your words of wisdom - they always mean so much. :)

DIET
1115 calories (41% fat, 37% carbs, 22% protein)

EXERCISE
Day off.

Kind of low on calories, but I spent most of the day sitting down and not doing much.

DIET
1420 calories (34% fat, 40% carbs, 26% protein)

EXERCISE
Weights, 30 minutes running / walking on treadmill.

DIET
1340 calories (37% fat, 34% carbs, 29% protein)

EXERCISE
Some walking around.

DIET
1340 calories (31% fat, 36% carbs, 33% protein)

EXERCISE
Treadmill for 30 minutes (10 minutes of running).

I am on a trip and it hasn't been easy being outside of my fitness "routine". There isn't always time to exercise, and I have been very careful about what I eat, with much concern that I will overdo it. Some meals I can barely guess what the calories are - I really just plug what I know into fitday.com and hope it's right.

So far I have done okay, and considering my long days and all the activity, I may not be eating enough, but I'm worried about getting home next week and getting on the scale. I don't want to get on a scale here, after all, I suspect all consumer scales are a little different. I did bring a tape measure to do two measurements I do a lot and so far have not improved my measurements. :( It would be nice to keep the 1-2 lb / week loss going even while traveling, but maybe it is too much to hope.

DIET
1315 calories (31% fat, 43% carbs, 26% protein)

EXERCISE
None.

This has been the hardest day yet. I had a social lunch planned with a group at a restaurant and picked the best thing on the menu I could find. But the meal was served smothered in high calorie dressing and I ended up eating most of it. I don't do this often (have not in the past four weeks on the plan) and also avoided other calorie traps, like the rolls served before the meal, the desserts served afterwards, no wine, etc. I also did not eat much for dinner with hopes of making up for it. My recorded kcal is an estimate only, it may not be correct, but frankly I don't know what to guess. Again, I just plugged the numbers I could into fitday.com - probably overestimated some stuff and may well have overcounted by a little, but I really don't know.

Despite this unanticipated serving, I faced some hard challenges quite well. In socializing there have been many opportunities to eat, some good stuff, some not so good stuff, but I have stayed on track. And my intent was to order something good, even if it didn't turn out that way, then I tried to make up for it at dinner.

I hope there comes a time when I am so familiar with how I react to calories that I don't even need to count anymore, I can just tell when I've reached my limits. Right now that's one of the hardest parts.

Just got up this Monday morning. I can tell that I must be going a bit low on my calories (perhaps some of my recent estimations have been too high). I have a headache and feel weak.

When leaving for my travels I packed some of the food I was used to eating on a daily basis in my routine, I will try to eat that as my meals today to get back on track.

It is difficult being away from my scale, scary. I don't know how I'm doing, if I'm going the wrong way and gaining, or what. I really miss my free weights and exercise time and hate to say I'm really looking forward to getting home and going back on my plan.

I will also say that checking in here every day really helps keep me on track and keeps my motivation up. Feels like I'm not so alone. :)

Hi Sabrina:
thank you for stopping by my journal and for the advice too...well what made kind of ignore those pulses is that i just made a full check up few month ago and everything was fine...thats why i thought it might just be temporary due to lack of sleep or emotional reasons....
i m sorry for your headaches i hope they are gone already, but i too ve them when my calorie intake gets so low....or when i skip breakfast...so take care ....hope you all the best... :rose:

Thanks for the visit, Soularized and egyptrose! :) Always nice to have visitors. :)

Soularized, I did get in a few more calories and feel a bit better - kind of had to force myself to eat some snacks today but they were healthy ones and I knew I needed them. I also got lots of water, more than usual, and the headache is gone - yea! I realized about mid-day I had indicated "Monday" in my post but actually it's Sunday, can you tell I'm on vacation? :laugh: Not back for another week, have fared better this first week than I thought. Tough not getting onto my scale though.

egyptrose, glad you stopped by. :) Once in a while I get "pangs" when I am tired or my body is stressed, maybe that's normal. Wonder if it's something similar. I think you're on the right track, my kcal intake has been a bit low and may have caused the headache. I think I did better today with some of the food I brought on vacation with me that I am more used to in my diet.

I will post my daily log shortly....have to work out first.

DIET
1560 calories (33% fat, 28% carbs, 39% protein)

EXERCISE
Stepper for 30 minutes.

Sunday, June 19

I have been on a plan for four weeks. My routine at home is pretty good - I've become familiar with a number of foods and good about working in some daily exercise. Week four finds me in the middle of a vacation where I have had to meet some dietary obstacles head on. Social occasions, eating out, days without time to work out, lack of workout facilities, long tiring days, etc.

I am reluctant to use a scale where I am because of variations. I brought a tape measure (W 33 H 43) but there hasn't been any change, so I have to wonder if I've lost anything. :(

I have been doing lots of positive visualization regarding my results which has really made me feel good. But today I saw some horrible photos of myself - I just look terrible, very heavy, and it was kind of a blow. I have about 40 pounds to go to my goal and I wonder what at what point I will truly feel happy with how I look.

Average kcal per day over four weeks: 1405
Average fat %: 30%
Average carb %: 46%
Average protein %: 23%

Anyway, that's four weeks in review...

Today was a tough day and I had something for dinner I shouldn't have. I didn't have all of it and still used caution and reason, but I know I could have done better. Trying to figure out why I did it, guess I was hungry and it's what I wanted. I didn't stuff my face like I used to so I feel like 1 time isn't going to be terrible.

DIET
1725 calories (36% fat, 39% carbs, 25% protein)

EXERCISE
None - yikes!

DIET
1610 calories (43% fat, 36% carbs, 20% protein)

EXERCISE
Rowing.

(Wednesday June 22)

DIET
1600 calories (37% fat, 40% carbs, 24% protein)

EXERCISE
Rowing.

I think today was the last of the tough days. My schedule will normalize a bit then I will be headed home soon. To date I have not fallen into the "what the heck" mindset regarding eating, which is good, and although I have had to eat out a lot my choices have generally been very good. I guess the real measure of how well I did will be the scale when I get home, which I'll admit I'm worried about. If I went up in weight I will be quite upset - it was hard to take the first five pounds off.

Went to a few stores today and couldn't help notice my reflection in those clean, huge display windows in the front as I went by. I typically like clothes a bit big because I feel more comfortable, like I'm a turtle hiding in a big shell. But now I've decided that it makes me look worse, really poorly put together and has somewhat the opposite effect than intended. Some of my clothes like tees and sweatshirts are men's XL, which are really too big. I plan to pull all the clothes out of my waredrobe that hang off of me like that and box them up to limit me to stuff closer to my actual size.

Just a random thought for today...

DIET
1300 calories (32% fat, 23% carbs, 45% protein)

EXERCISE
None.

Thanks, Soularized! I think you are right, it will be easier when I get back, although I have the feeling that first 1 mile run is going to hurt... :)

DIET
965 calories (20% fat, 55% carbs, 25% protein)

EXERCISE
None - one more day off...

Wow, low calories today. That's okay, all I did was sit around while traveling. Back home from the vacation I had dreaded, worried about social eating, eating out, possible high kcal counts and/or binges. None of this really happened and tomorrow is the weigh-in day to see if I'm up, down, or the same. The moment of truth...

At 177, a one pound loss hardly shows up. I feel like I look fat and it's going to take forever not to. Kind of depressing, but I know it can't be done overnight, nor do I want to do it quickly because I don't think it's healthy.

WEIGH-IN AFTER VACATION
The moment I had been worried about is here - weigh in after my vacation. Of course I hoped not to gain (hey, I fought like crazy to lose those five pounds, don't want to have to do any of them again), hoped at least I was the same, dreamed my weight went down...

And it did - 175 this morning. I have been thinking that if I am suddenly unhappy with how my clothes look on me (the shirts / sweatshirts that are too big) that something must have happened in that regard. I wished for a weight number and when I got on, there it was.

EATING AND EXERCISE WHILE TRAVELING
I was worried about social eating, eating at restaurants, hectic schedules, and lack of workout opportunities (both due to facilities and schedule). Almost the entire time I ate very cautiously, only twice did I order something I felt was not quite the best choice - however I savored it and left the high calorie garnishes off (sour cream / guac for Mexican food). One time I ordered what I thought would be very reasonable but turned out not to be, I ate most of it and modified my dinner to counteract the lunch kcal. Next time I will try to eat at restaurants I'm more familiar with so I know what I'm getting.

I wish I had exercised more - I know that even walking can be okay when you can't do anything else. Most days were so busy I couldn't do that. Next time I go somewhere I will try to work exercise into the schedule better.

FIVE WEEKS IN REVIEW
I am glad weight loss has not been a passing interest for me this time, I have really been dedicated to it. I have lost seven pounds total (1.4 per week), my average daily kcal consumption has been 1400 (31% fat, 45% carb, 24% protein). Almost two weeks off from working out, I am ready to get it back into gear starting today.

I went through my clothes and took out the stuff that is oversized. I will now have a box of clothes "too big" next to my boxed waredrobe sets when I get to certain points in my weight loss.

I haven't exercised yet, and this is a big deal. I have tried diet/exercise before only to have the routine broken by a weekend getaway or a vacation, and didn't return to the exercise when I got back. It is imperative I exercise again, today, because I don't want to do this with diet alone. I typically work out towards the end of the day, just before dinner, so you should see an entry on exercise with my nighttime post.

There is a difference in the way I feel, even with only a seven pound weight loss. I also did some activites on vacation I feel would have been nearly impossible had I not been working out the four weeks before, which is pretty neat.

DIET
1740 calories (30% fat, 52% carbs, 18% protein)

EXERCISE
Stepper - 30 minutes, 1857 steps (fast pace)

Got it in gear finally and did the stepper. Worked very hard and made the most of the workout. I'll start keeping track of my performance so I can tell when I'm slacking. :)

Earlier today I was hungry. Very hungry. I ate more than I really thought I should (although 1740, which is a pretty accurate kcal count, truly isn't that bad). The hunger really went away after I made myself work out, and I am relieved that I was so zealous in my stepping, as opposed to barely exerting myself because I didn't want to work out.

I've been thinking about yesterday around dinner. I felt "hungry", but not the typical hungry, the compulsive eating type of hungry. Why? All I can think is that I got home from vacation and, back in my own environment, no distractions of friends, family, and fun around, I was lured by boredom.

I was pretty proud on my travel day that I only consumed 965 calories. I know it's low, but it was only one day. And two months ago I had NO control over my eating and a virtual fast like that would have been unfathomable. It's a sign to me that I have gained more control.

Yesterday my being on the verge of a binge was squashed by 30 minutes of hearty exercise. I will put in down in black and white right here, I need exercise in my routine. It supresses my appetite, puts me in a better mood, and makes me feel better, stronger, healthier. I need to never forget that.

DIET
1330 calories (25% fat, 53% carbs, 21% protein)

EXERCISE
Free weights (pecs, lats, abs, quads, hamstrings), run 1 mile and walk to a total of 32 minutes.

Going through a tough time emotionally, and in addition, felt very hungry again today. Fought it and only had 1330, but I sure hope this "hunger" starts to go away...

Got on the scale this morning and lost another .5 pounds, to weigh in at 174.5. I am VERY anxious to see the 160s again, it has been a looooooooong time. But I guess realistically even doing my very best I won't see it for two more weeks. Anyway, crossing that 10 threshold will be pretty exhilirating.

DIET
1700 calories (32% fat, 47% carbs, 20% protein)

EXERCISE
Free weights (abs, biceps, triceps, delts), 2108 steps in 30 minutes.

What a difficult day. Having personal problems and the persistent "hunger" I feel (most likely emotional) won't go away. Hard to concentrate on diet and exercise, even despite my elation at refining my waredrobe to take out stuff that's too big, 2 pounds lost on vacation, plus another .5 pounds lost in the two days since I got back. Typically I don't take in 1700 kcal a day but it is becoming more common, not a good habit. Not sure how to fight all of this, but right now I'm too tired to so I think I'll park in front of the TV a bit and get mindless. Maybe if my brain takes a break I'll feel better.

Just one more entry for today. I ended my feelings of hunger by working out super hard on the stepper - 2108 steps is super fast, I was gasping most of the time and if I had measured my heart rate I probably would have been a bit worried. But I pushed it for a lot of reasons, the last five weeks I have been working out and now I want my exercise to progress. At the beginning, it was okay to do a slow 1 mile jog. Now I want to start keeping track and pushing myself to get better. I have some muscle growth so at least I've got the ability to do it now, now I just want to do it better.

I have been thinking a lot about this "hunger" hanging over me. I want to understand it so I can make it stop. I found it is much like standing on a balance beam. On the beam and balanced, I'm on the diet and it's going well. But this hunger is like losing my balance and teetering off the edge with no control, and at any moment I could fall off. It's a pretty scary feeling, actually, as "falling off" could undo everything I've worked so hard for and put me right back where I started. :(

Anyway, it has helped to look here for some extra support. Thanks, my DT friends. :)

(Log for Tuesday.)

DIET
1760 calories (33% fat, 43% carbs, 25% protein)

EXERCISE
None.


I do not know what is going on. I have been on a diet and exercise plan for about six weeks. This includes a fluctuating daily intake of kcal from 1200 - 1700 but with an average of 1400. I do 30 minutes of cardio just about every day, and try to do free weights 1 - 3 times a week.

Up until about two weeks ago, I had the routine down and it was working well. I felt energetic, in control, didn't have any cravings, etc. Then I went on vacation for a week and a half and the whole time I was stressed about my plan. I did what I could for exercise, although really it only worked out to being something every three days, and food was hard. I faced eating out, social occasions, etc., but all in all think I did okay.

The day I traveled home I only ate 960 calories - not by choice but it's just the way it worked out. I tried to get back into my routine but haven't been able to successfully yet. The meals I was eating before just don't seem to satisfy me and I've gone through all of my healthy snacks really fast! I feel hungry, have had some bad cravings that I haven't given in to yet, but if I can't get this under control soon I'm worried that I will lose control. HELP!

A few things I can think of that may be causing the problem. I took in 960 kcal the day before I got home and maybe my body is still adjusting for the low intake. Or, the fact I have increased my effort in my 30 minute cardio workouts may be demanding more calories. Or, it's emotional due to some major relationship problems I'm having.

Anyway, got on the scale this morning to see if my recent increase in daily kcals is having a negative impact and lost another .5 pounds in just a few days. Posted in Calorie Counters to get some input on my kcal intake, because I just can't figure all of this out.

My current situation (see previous post) has me worried and of course thinking a lot about health, diet, etc.

I remember when I weighed the least during my adult life, 120 lbs. (Sigh.) I was super active, counted my daily kcal at 1200 every day, and if I had pizza and went over, wham! I would get so energetic I would actually burn that off and more, usually weighing a bit less a few days later. And I kind of understand why - I think my metabolism was so geared up for that weight that the occassional overeating would have the opposite effect.

Anyway, I think it's going to take a long time to get my metabolism back to that, if it's even possible at my age.

Just got back from getting groceries. One of my "healthy" snack foods was previously rice cakes. I used those for the first six weeks to help me feel more full in between meals, and I think they worked. But in the past few days they are what I have turned to for overzealous snacks so I won't get them again for a little while. If I have 2-4 a day it's no biggie, but I was starting to eat 7 a day!

So I got lots of fresh fruit and am enjoying some now. If I'm going to eat more, I want it to be healthy.

But...question. Why is it that I saw very skinny people getting the worst junk food? Next to the bulk candy was a very trim woman going through the selection, same with the chips. Since I feel better when I eat better, I guess I'm not so jealous, but I still found it rather curious.

I've been having some internet problems, so sometimes can't do my log on the day it happens. Here is the log for Wednesday:

DIET
1485 calories (28% fat, 40% carbs, 32% protein)

EXERCISE
Run 1.1 miles (11:20 - horrible, I know), walk / jog for a total of 20 minutes.

Weighed in again this morning to a surprising 173.5 (W 33 H 42). This past week has been a major struggle for me but at least it's rewarding seeing weight come off.

Regardless of how good I've felt to shed eight pounds, pushing myself running yesterday for a dismal time is depressing. I remember when I did eight minute miles and thought that was bad.... but I have to remember I'm lugging around an extra 30-40 pounds compared to that time and that hopefully my time will get better as I have to tow around less weight. For now I'll really concentrate on improving on the low impact exercises, since my weight will play less of a role.

Still fighting the persistent hunger, but have made a big step in my diet. I moved on from my rice cakes snack food onto fresh fruit. And discovered I can have a cup of blueberries or cherries for about 80 kcal! Doesn't take many calories of this type of fruit to make me feel full and is a good addition to my diet.

DIET
1480 calories (36% fat, 32% carbs, 31% protein)

EXERCISE
Gazelle for 30 minutes, free weights (legs), stretching.

Okay, for the past two days I have a bit better handle on the major hunger thing. I switched a few things in my diet which may have helped to accomplish this:

1. Replaced empty calories of rice cakes as mid-day snacks for healthier, and more filling, fruit like cherries, blueberries, apples, etc.

2. For dinner have had chicken or steak only (no carbs like pasta, potatoes, bread) with skim milk.

Feels like I'm eating more but the daily kcal is acceptable to me and it's getting me through a rough time.

As of Saturday I guess I will have been on my plan for six weeks now, lost 8.5 pounds so far. Weighing in at 173.5 is the lowest I've seen the scale in years - I dieted around this same time last year but only got as low as 174. Sometimes it seems it's going fast, other times dreadfully slow.

Woa...just went through some old photos to see if I could find one for my pictures here. At one time I weighed a bit more than my starting weight at DT, so I looked for recent stuff as well as back at that time. I found one photo that just about knocked me on the floor. I looked truly awful. I guess when I'm stressing about how I look now I can think about that and realize I've done some hard work to make this progress. It wasn't just the weight, either, it was the way I didn't care about how I looked, the clothes, what I did with my hair...just looking at the photo it seems obvious I was not caring about my appearance.

Not sure if this journey through old photos was a good thing (makes me feel better about now) or a bad (depressing!) Anyway, still don't have a photo yet but will keep looking.

Imagine my shock and surprise at 172.5 on the scale this morning! I have to wonder if it's real or a fluke, but I'm logging it anyway.

I heard early on that it takes the body about six weeks to adapt to a new diet routine. It's been just about six weeks, and that really may be true, who knows.

Tomorrow is the six-week mark when I first found Diettalk. I had binged on a Friday and woke up hating myself the next day. I used Google to look up "panic eating" on the net and one of the hits was a post here that I could really relate to. I immediately signed up and started posting.

It took time to work some emotions out in my journal, but it's been a great outlet, and productive in my weight loss journey. In no way has this all been easy, I have met with numerous obstacles and still do, but logging in here each day, being a part of a group of people who understand and provide support, has been very helpful.

I found www.fitday.com (www.fitday.com) through another member's post and started logging my daily eats. My average daily kcal is 1400 and I do cardio about 30 minutes each day, free weights 1-3 times a week.

In six weeks I have lost 9.5 pounds (about 1.6 per week), and roughly four inches off my waist. I have already been able to put aside a set of clothes that are simply too big for me. I feel stronger, more healthy, and more in control.

Thanks to my friends here for the support!

DIET
1250 calories (27% fat, 53% carbs, 20% protein)

EXERCISE
Run 1.1 miles (11:20 - hey, maybe I'm slow but I'm consistent!) then walk for a total of 31:30 out, free weights for abs, pecs, lats.

Good news is that I still weigh 172.5 this morning, making it a little less likely it's a fluke. But I'm tired from low calories yesterday, so maybe I'll step it up a notch today.

Sabrina...it doesnt seem to be a fluke....your exerise routine seems great..you are coming closer to your goal...so keep it up... :)

Hey, egyptrose! Thanks for visiting! I just popped by your journal to say "hi" too. :)

Where to start...how about my log?

DIET
1540 calories (33% fat, 41% carbs, 26% protein)

EXERCISE
Nearly passed out (not really, but it was hard) doing 2114 steps in 30 minutes.

Had to force my kcal higher today, can feel that low energy from not enough calories and don't want to be fighting hunger the next few days. Besides, last time I upped my calories a bit my weight numbers went down faster. :)

Talked to someone who started low carbs when they found out I was on a diet. In less time than me they have already lost 15 pounds now. I really don't understand it, I'm working so very hard and don't get how someone can lose so much more than me in about half the time. I guess I just need to stay focused and not let it get to me. Sometimes this all just seems to go so slow. To think I might reach my goals by December, six whole months away, wow.... When along this journey will I feel good about myself? Will it take six months? Or will there be some stage in between? Will I ever be able to look at myself and not think I'm fat? I have had a hard time with my weight all my life. I would like to finally be at a place where I feel comfortable with me, enjoying life, not feeling totally self conscious.

Anyway, by my rough calculations I need to lose another ten pounds before I can fit into my first full waredrobe. That's estimated at another six weeks, putting it at around mid-August. This is if I don't hit any obstacles or plateaus - those would push it out even further. Sigh.... Maybe I need to really step up the exercise to get better results. I refuse to do cardio more than 30 minutes a day (I don't want to get obsessive) but maybe a refreshing walk for about 15 minutes a day too? This may improve my activity level and help....maybe I'll give it a shot.

HI Sabrina:
you just said what have been going in my mind....i know that with low carb diets you ose faster...but thats only at the begining....then the rate slows down...i ve been on atkins for 6 month before i had my second daughter...that was almost 3 years ago... i had some results...17 pounds in 6 month...but honesty,i wasnt very strict ....and i can say that i hated that diet...it feels like i was in a challenge all time....and everytime i ate something with carbs or little sugar,i felt so bad and depressed and hated myself as you just get out of the ketosis process which is responsible for weight loss...and start gainng so fast...and u ve to start all over again...also i had my gall bladder removed and there was doubts it was due the diet...and i read about others who followed low carb and hd same problem...

so i believe that this time we are doing it right....for us and for our health too...not only to look good,but to stay healthy and in good shape....slow and steady loss is also better for how you look ,so you dont have much sagging skin....

so be happy about your success...you r just on the right pass...doing great things for yourself...just stick to it and keep it up....you ll reach your goal soon,and be so proud with what you did...lets just do it together...
love,egyptrose.. :rose:

Yes, we are stronger together. :) Glad to have you on my team!

I have been thinking about non-food related rewards, because frankly even though I'm keeping at this, I think I would be more motivated to have little rewards. Some ideas are massage, manicure, facial, and small purchases of something I might not otherwise justify. To mark six weeks at this, this weekend I went out and purchased a few items of clothing, nothing significant, but just makes me feel better about my progress to recognize it. :)

Got on the scale this Sunday morning and saw 172 (W 32.5 H 42) - making my official total loss to date 10 pounds. I hope in about a week I'll be in the 160s, I am really anxious to see those again.

DIET
1525 calories (25% fat, 53% carbs, 23% protein)

EXERCISE
AM - 15 minutes of walking. PM - Run 1.1 miles (11:09, slight improvement!) then walk for a total of 29:34.

Quick note: Not sure why but my run tonight was a bit easier, maybe because it's not so hot out? I felt stronger the whole run and less out of breath. Hope this trend continues....

Still looking around for a photo for my "before" photos, but don't think I'm going to be able to find one. I am noticing that in addition to getting so heavy I have also been very neglectful of my overall appearance. I have buried myself in big clothes, which, in theory, were supposed to make me look smaller but actually do the opposite. Which is why I went through my closet and took out everything that hung off of me.

I also appear to have not done anything with hair or makeup for a long time. This process is about self acceptance and self respect, and I will start working on the other components at the same time as the fitness goals.

Last night I had a dream...I was with friends after reaching my goal and the reaction was...just what I hoped for. It was an amazing feeling, even if only for a fleeting moment during my sleep. Little things like that help me stick with it.

DIET
1690 calories (40% fat, 31% carbs, 30% protein)

EXERCISE
None.

Sabrina:its a nice dream...but i m sure you will be experiencing the same feeling in reality soon....try to pamper yourself by doing something you like...as visiting the hair dresser and make some changes...your hair cut,or new shades...whatever you like...you know i went there last friday and had my hair cut...i felt soo good...and more confident....its true i didnt the way i looked in their mirror....i looked so big....dont know why...i know i m still overweight....but in their mirror that covered the whole wall i looked bigger :( ....anyway i went home and wore a new gown and was happy... i too think i forgot about myself...going through the daily routine,home and kids...but its nice to give myself sometime too...
take care... :rose:

It's Tuesday, and I am tired. I don't sleep that well at night. I usually don't sleep that well at night at home. I think the house is kept too hot for me to sleep well, 77 degrees. Cooler than outside, but still... That may not even be the reason, but regardless, I am tired.

I ate quite a bit yesterday, I was trying to go high on my kcal so they would vary more from day to day. Got on the scale this morning and still 172. Guess I should move my range down a bit, maybe I've worked myself out of the last one.

Had another dream last night that I went shopping for shorts and was having a blast trying them on. I like these kinds of dreams.

Had a doctor's appointment today and had to face their office scale. In the past I have actually refused to be weighed, today I kind of did it reluctantly although I did mention I had weighed myself this morning at 172. With my clothes on, including sneakers, and just having had breakfast and two cups of coffee, their scale said 178. I got a snide remark from the assistant who weighed me that THEIR scale said 178...so I said, okay, sure, WITH clothes on and just having eaten. I was really surprised at the attitude and her willingness to degrade me by being sarcastic about how wrong I was.

Anyway, maybe my home scale is off a bit (I seriously doubt by six whole pounds, clothes and food definitely played a part) but regardless, I'm sure it's accurate enough to measure my 10 pounds lost to date.

I sure hope that you mentioned to the doctor the assistant's snotty attitude. That is unprofessional, and a person in the medical field should be more understanding. I would let her superior know that she was so rude to you. X-(

And yes, weight can fluctuate throughout the day. On average, mine fluctuates by about 3%-- I weigh myself first thing in the morning, before I've eaten, and with clothes on and several meals in the tummy, it makes sense that your weight would be more. I did the math-- your fluctuation was about 3% too.

Still, don't get discouraged. If you always weigh yourself at the same time each day, then yes, you've lost the weight you thought you did. You're simply using your morning weigh-in as your benchmark.

Sabrina:i dont dont know why she did that ,as teacher said its very unproffessional,yet why you care...even if your scale is down a bit you still lost those 10 pounds which is a great success....for me after i eat breakfast and get dressed ,i weigh 4 pounds more...by the way i eat very little in the morning...so adding 2 cups of coffee to that will make a difference...
just forget about that and keep going..

Thanks, teacher81 and egyptrose! I guess I had so much else going on today that I guess just writing about it made me feel better. Nice to know I wasn't the only one who thought it was out of line. Frankly I don't have that good of a relationship with the medical professional I saw either - nothing wrong with her, just not a great fit for me - and plan on moving to another office anyway.

I already wrote a little about my day in other threads, but will recap it here. It hasn't been a great day, and I guess it's a mini-success in a way that instead of turning to food as comfort during a difficult day, I accidentally ate too little! I know that's not good either so I finished up the day by eating some fresh fruit and did without the exercise so as not to unduly stress my body when I hadn't given it proper fuel.

DIET
1015 calories (27% fat, 57% carbs, 16% protein)

EXERCISE
None.

I am finishing this day as tired as I started it. Maybe I just woke up from the wrong sleep cycle and my biorhythms have been off all day. I look forward to a fresh start tomorrow.

The last two days have been exceedingly difficult. I felt the urge tonight to have one of my old binge foods and, after careful deliberation, allowed myself to have some. I ate more calories today than usual, but I showed great control when eating a food I used to absolutely devour. Although I am still very concerned about a healthy lifestyle, the past two days have seen my energies focused on other issues and, while also battling a weight loss plateau and some other issues, I did not want to outright deprive myself of a craving. Again, I refuse to let myself feel guilty about eating a bit more today, and feel it is how I settle back into my routine that makes the difference. I did let stress get to me, but hey, I'm human.

I will make my entries in fitday.com tomorrow, right now there is some paperwork beckoning that has been overlooked all day.

Hang in there. You're doing really well, and some days are harder than others. I always remind myself that just as I didn't gain weight by eating badly on just one day, one bad day isn't going to keep the weight on forever. Allow yourself to live a little, and enjoy things in moderation.

Glad to hear you plan to switch doctor's offices. They sound like jerks. :)

So wonderful to hear from you both, Soularized and teacher81! Your input couldn't come at a better time as I wrestle with this plateau and some other issues. Your support and encouragement mean a great deal, thank you!

Today I weighed in 1 pound heavier, but it doesn't really bother me. Over the past few weeks I've been trying to increase my daily kcal thinking I was a bit low. Now I am reevaluating the makeup of my calories, trying to cut out some of the fat intake (thanks, rD!), will be phasing out of coffee due to some health issues :c( , and am initiating phase two of my plan.

PHASE 2
For the past six weeks I've done some free weights in moderation, nothing terribly strenuous - mostly my goal was to get my muscles going for this next phase. Now that I have a base, I am stepping up the weights and will be working hard to failure before 12 reps. I got some great advice (thanks, dea!) on a routine and today was my first day.

My cardio has already been progressing the way I want - now I do my stepping or running, whatever, with the intention of improving my performance. It's not enough to simply go out there and exercise, I am working on an overall pattern of improvement, even in small steps. As I can fit it into my routine, I will also try to do 15 minutes of light walking or other activity early in the day in addition to my 30 minutes of afternoon cardio. Evenually I may wish to switch my cardio workout to mornings, although for my current schedule afternoons do work best.

My phase 2 goals are to continue weight loss, see if it's reasonable to have an ultimate timeline of goals reached by November, grow some muscles and improve cardio performance. I will also be doing some fine tuning of diet to improve nutrition.

DIET
1335 calories (34% fat, 45% carbs, 21% protein)

EXERCISE
Weights (abs, quads, hamstrings, pecs, lats, biceps, delts, triceps).
Cardio (run 1.1 miles - 11:20 :(, walk remainder for a total of 30:30)

Dropping in to say hello and good luck with your goals and weight loss. You're doing well! Stay motivated.

Melinda :)

Hi there,

Congratulations on 10 pounds lost!!
That's awesome!!! My husband always says that one pound of fat on your body is equal to 4 sticks of butter... so you are 40 sticks of butter smaller!!!

Woo Hooo!!!!!! :cheer:

-- Chrissy

Hi, Melinda and Chrissy! Thanks for visiting! :)

I am tired this morning but feel good. My muscles ache from the new weight routine which is a good sign. I wonder if I should spit up muscle groups for different days? I'll have to think about that.

I haven't had my coffee yet and can't imagine life without it. :) It will take me weeks to cut it out completely. Wish I didn't have to...

DIET
1285 calories (26% fat, 46% carbs, 27% protein)

EXERCISE
Cardio - stepper for 30 minutes, 2126 steps

As a part of "phase 2" I am trying to improve my diet by lowering my fat intake and increase my protein. It will be a gradual process but I am happy with my numbers today. I also am cutting back on the coffee with an ultimate goal of eliminating it from my diet.

Part of this process includes trying out some new foods. I gave some fat free dressing a try tonight on a simple salad and it basically tasted like wet sawdust. Back to the drawing board there.

I also took some photos to document this stage but am not sure I'll keep them. Pretty sure I'm not going to share them with anyone - ever. Kind of depressing to see. It's hard to argue with the reality of a photo.

Hope to get some sleep this weekend, getting restful sleep has been pretty difficult lately and it makes this whole diet process so much harder.

DIET
1285 calories (26% fat, 46% carbs, 27% protein)

EXERCISE
Not done yet....

As a part of "phase 2" I am trying to improve my diet by lowering my fat intake and increase my protein. ............. I gave some fat free dressing a try tonight on a simple salad and it basically tasted like wet sawdust. Back to the drawing board there.

..............
Hope to get some sleep this weekend, getting restful sleep has been pretty difficult lately and it makes this whole diet process so much harder.Sabrina,

- you're probably already getting ample protein. To eat more than 200% of your nutritional requirements of protein is wasting calories that could be better chosen in the form of fresh vegetables

- I've mentioned in one or two earlier posts at DT, that "fat free" dressing Does Not taste like salad dressing at all, and that reduced fat (about half the normal fat content) is a far better and more palatable choice (besides, the "fat free" version costs an arm & a leg to buy). Kraft's line of "Light Done Right" dressings has worked well for me. Don't forget to serve it "on the side", as you'll find you eat far less of it that way.

- towards sleeping better, hoard your day's fat and protein calories until dinnertime, as they're more conducive to helping you sleep (and besides, fat calories are likely to go straight into body fat anyway, imho, so it's not critical when you digest them). My sleep greatly improved once I fit in one or two "time outs" (or meditation breaks) into my day. A lot of sleep problems are due to residual anxieties from the day's activities.

rD

ps. Good to see an example of less than 30% fat intake for a change. (Canada's new standard for non-dieters, is becoming 'up to' 10% fat. We're very serious about tackling our obesity epidemic up here.)

Hi Sabrina -- have you tried the Kraft Free Italian Dressing? It's one of my favorites. Also, Maple Grove Farms (I think that's the name), makes a fat free balsamic vinagrette that I really like. There are tons of great fat free choices out there, you may have to go through several brands before you find one that you like, but it's definitely worth the calorie savings to me.

On your coffee, try starting with half regular/half decaf and slowly go to straight decaf and then cutting it out - maybe switching over to decaf will help wean you off a little easier (although I couldn't imagine what I would be like without coffee).

It sounds like you are doing great. Keep up the good work!! :jn

Sabrina, when you reach your goal, you willwant to show everyone those pictures. And then you will inspire others to do the same.

Wow, I am overwhelmed by the input and encouragement. THANK YOU!!! Such a pleasure to have visitors to my little journal. :o

rD, as always your input is greatly appreciated, and I will definitely keep at it. I was very happy to see the fat at 26%, it took a lot of conscious effort and I think I can keep it down if I work on it.

biggun, thanks for the ideas! I knew it might take a while to find a good dressing, I'll look forward to giving yours a try! The coffee I am already cutting down on, and have some decaf on hand which I may start mixing in a bit later. I cut my intake in half (roughly 3 cups to 1.5) and will go with that about a week, then cut back even further.

CapeCodCoy, welcome to Diettalk! I had actually been thinking about a salad dressing recipe I used a long time ago that I really liked, wondering if I could find it and modify it to be lower fat. That would be great! Thanks for the idea.

Hey, elsie! I was wondering if I might feel that way later, right now it's too personal. That's why they're not deleted yet. :) They would be very excellent markers for my progress, for sure.

Okay, now some good news. I weighed in today at 172 (W 32.5 H 42). Now, I haven't lost anything in the last week, but remember I was having fluctuations up .5 pounds, even up a whole pound! I feel back on the plan and solidly at 172 and ready to work that down. Also, TOM has arrived, which might explain some of my recent issues with weight variation, cravings, etc.

I guess, with today, I'm on to week seven!

DIET
1280 calories (24% fat, 60% carbs, 16% protein)

EXERCISE
Weights - quads, hamstrings, pecs, lats, delts, biceps, triceps
Cardio - run 1.1 miles (10:58 - getting better!) and walk remainder for 29:50

Recently I was thumbing through Men's Health magazine and found something interesting - if I recall correctly it is more exerting to work out in warmer weather, allowing you to burn more calories. However, you fatigue easier too, so sometimes it's more beneficial to work out in cooler weather as it might allow you to work out longer. Anyway, I notice that my strength running is better when it's cooler out. I am surprised that my run went so well considering I did work my legs pretty hard with weights earlier, too.

Not happy about the low protein today and high carbs. Will try to improve tomorrow.

Sabrina...your exercise is just great...keep it up :peace: ....regardingyour weekend running in hot weather....ask me about it....you know weather here in summer is too hot...and sometimes humid too....i never run,but i used to walk ...when the its really hot,you get out of breath so qickly and become bored and uncomfortable...even if it urns more calories,yet you want stand it for long...yet in cool weather walking is pleasant....you can just keep going forever....
hope you enjoy your weekend... :wave:

Hi, egyptrose! Yes, I get pretty tired pretty fast in the heat and humidity. But I thought it was interesting reading and help explains my improved performance in cooler weather.

Well, it's Sunday morning. I have been working out hard and staying on top of the daily kcals. Last night I was lying down watching TV and got up a few times and felt a bit lightheaded. Maybe I will take it easier today.

Last night I was lying down watching TV and got up a few times and felt a bit lightheaded. Maybe I will take it easier today.Sabrina,

The combination of working out (which causes you later to be able to relax all the more thoroughly), lying down for a while and then getting up, can lead to lightheadedness merely because you got up just a bit too quickly.

Even an extra couple of seconds, can make all the difference in your body 'switching gears' from sedate mode to active mode.

Without that pause, or a slower method of going from lying down to being upright, your brain becomes deprived of oxygen as your blood is not being vigourously enough pumped to your head when you've moved to an upright position. [your brain receives about 30% of your blood supply, shortchange it, and you'll feel lightheaded or faint]

rD

That makes sense, because it only took a few seconds to shake off the feeling. And although it's usually pretty hard for me to feel relaxed, I really did feel relaxed last night and enjoyed it. So sounds like it may not be an issue of eating too little or working out too hard - good! I don't want to change what I'm doing because I feel on the right track. :) No other symptoms have appeared to make me feel this is the case, I don't feel overly tired or run down or anything.

(Log for Sunday)

DIET
1245 calories (30% fat, 52% carbs, 18% protein)

EXERCISE
None - day off.

INTRODUCTION

So, I will try to get some sort of exercise every day for the next week, probably just walking but that's okay with me. I will try to be more reasonable about food, not eat late at night, and eat only when I'm truly hungry. If I want to eat for any other reason I'll log in here and ask for help.


I never really liked exercises, so I´ve been looking for something I like and I finally found it: yoga. :) And I only work out 3 times a week, because I have a super busy schedule, but it´s doing me wonders!

As for late at night eating, I also have this problem. :( I try to drink a lot of tea when I feel like eating at night. I helps, the bad part is I have to wake up in the middle of the night to pee...lol.

Good luck with your goals.

DIET
1185 calories (36% fat, 38% carbs, 26% protein)

EXERCISE
Weights (quads, hamstrings, pecs, lats, delts, triceps, biceps)

Weighed in a day late and my plateau seems to have ended - 169.5 (W 32 H 41.5). I would be pretty excited if I didn't feel out of sorts - just have a general malaise feeling that I can't seem to shake. And in hindsight, part of my plateau was likely due to TOM. Anyway, good to see the 160s again, hope it's not a fluke.

It just amazes me how much I've gone through in seven weeks. Job related, relationship related, health issues... Right now I'm dealing with the flu, no biggie, except that motivation is about a zero. I don't feel hungry and I guess I could really take advantage of that and not eat for a week. However, somewhere along this journey it became about so much more than seeing the numbers drop. The best part for me is the combination of eating better and feeling stronger from my workouts. If I didn't eat for a week, I feel I would undo all of that which I have worked for.

So, in addition to keeping hydrated I am also eating, and not overstressing myself by working out. Can't wait to feel better again so I can go for a run or whatever.

DIET
1380 calories (34% fat, 47% carbs, 19% protein)

EXERCISE
Day off.

HI Sabrina...i hope you get well soon...i know its hard to eat when ill...but its so important to drink a lot of water...and juice if you cant eat...try to rest.....and take it easy till you are better...

GET WELL SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:console:

-- Chrissy

Awwww, thanks for the notes, egyptrose and Chrissy! I am feeling a lot better this afternoon compared to the past few days, hoping I can go for a run tomorrow before my puny muscles evaporate from inactivity. :)

DIET
1520 calories (34% fat, 50% carbs, 16% protein)

EXERCISE
Weights - quads, hamstrings, lats, pecs, delts, triceps, biceps, abs

My appetite appears to have returned, have been feeling very hungry. I think I'll wait one more day to do cardio, not at 100% just yet and I don't want to set myself back.

It has been an eight-week journey so far, and not only have I realized a modest weight loss, there have also been some emotional transformations.

The weight loss process is not a strict mathmatical equation. If it were, there would be no such thing as "plateaus" or "starvation syndrome." Not long ago I was irked by news from a friend that started low carb after I started on my plan and lost much more weight, much faster. I am no doctor, but through this process I really have come to feel that there are limitations to what the body can accomplish, at least without harm. We are so limited in how we can measure our progress it can be deceiving - a scale cannot tell you about body composition, muscle gains, water retention, etc. It only reflects pounds, and in the past eight weeks I have come to truly realize this and work around its limitations. I am okay with a slower weight loss if I can be confident that it is healthy.

It has taken years of emotional eating (hey, there must have been some sort of "pay off" for me to keep eating when I wasn't hungry) to get to where I am. It is understandable that reversing the process requires time and effort, even if frustrating at times. If I woke up tomorrow at my goal, I don't think I would have learned all the lessons I need to along this path, and it would be harder to maintain it. I don't always like it, but it is a process that takes time and dedication.

My self-image is an interesting aspect of this journey. I have disliked how I look for so long, but have incorporated visualization techniques for what things will be like when I reach my goals. This has actually created a false self image in the other direction - instead of self loathing, feeling fat, etc., I actually feel lighter than I really am. It is shocking and difficult to see recent photos since they correct that misperception. I do think the visualization is important to my progress and keep doing it.

I have to say I am enjoying my exercise routines. I feel stronger all the time and it is a good feeling. Food is always a challenge - using www.fitday.com (www.fitday.com) helps keep me on track for calories and nutrition. One of my biggest challenges in avoiding bad foods is the stuff brought into the house (not by me) - having weakness foods on the shelves, or having fast food suggested to me as a dinner option, really tests my resolve. To date I have stayed strong.

The keys for me have been working out emotional issues, both in this online journal as well as a notebook, visualization, and moderation! I am incorporating exercise into my life in a reasonable fashion (no more than 30 minutes of cardio a day, allowing days off for various reasons, weights 3x a week). Plus my diet is reasonable, has foods in it that I like, and is flexible for days I feel more or less hungry, have to eat out, etc.

Here at DT I have found a support system I've never had before, and am grateful for that. :)

Anyway, just some ramblings about things that have been on my mind.

DIET
1200 calories (25% fat, 56% carbs, 18% protein)

EXERCISE
Ab exercises, stretching
Cardio - 30 minutes on stepper, 2147 steps

Some days are better than others, some worse. This day is one of the latter.

Sometimes with everything going on I feel overwhelmed with stress. But at least I feel in a good enough place to cope without turning to food. It does surprise me the things that become more clear when I am not trying to ignore my problems by gorging on food. In the past, food has been a powerful diversion. Stepping out from behind it has been interesting.

DIET
1315 calories (31% fat, 48% carbs, 21% protein)

EXERCISE
Weights - quads, hamstrings
Stretching

HI Sabirina...i m so happy you overcomed that emotional eating thing....its a great achievement....you are also doing great keeping your calories under control...i m happy you feel better now....keep going...i really wish you all the best..

Hi, egyptrose! Thanks for stopping by.

I'm not sure I would say I have "overcome" the emotional eating. I see it as a challenge each and every day which I have met with successfully for the past eight weeks. It took a long time to develop the emotional eating habits that got me overweight, I have to be patient (not always easy!) that I can't undo it overnight. Some days are worse that others, I am grateful for friends like you here at DT who make it easier to face such challenges. :)

Weighed in this morning, still at 169.5. I know it's just barely in the 160s, but that's an important milestone to me and I hoped so much that it wasn't a fluke.

Guess I'm at a point again where I have been eating too little, and it is making it hard to work out. I will have to up my kcal a little and see how that goes.

DIET
1370 calories (41% fat, 38% carbs, 20% protein)

EXERCISE
None.

Well, it happened. I had pizza today, at my eight week mark for dieting. The timing wasn't on purpose, it just happened that way. I have been very tired with low energy the past few days and suspected my calories are too low. I ate a generous breakfast but was a zombie all day anyway. I was out running errands and stopped by a pizza shop. I showed tremendous restraint - I did NOT get any toppings, I did NOT gorge myself as quickly as I could, nor did I eat that much - 2 1/2 slices - a fraction of what I would have had ten weeks ago. I was surprised at the fitday.com calculation that put me at a reasonable count for the day anyway, and I'll simply consider it one minor weakness in eight weeks of pretty consistent efforts.

I still feel a bit out of sorts, I think I haven't been eating enough, so I don't want to stress my body by working out. I'll take one night off and see how I feel tomorrow.

DIET
1610 calories (28% fat, 53% carbs, 19% protein)

EXERCISE
None.

Exercise has been intermittent for the past few weeks because I don't want to push myself to work out when I feel so weak. And I guess I'm feeling weak because I'm not getting enough calories.

I need to get a handle on my caloric intake, because I'd rather lose weight a little more slowly by eating more but be able to work out every day again. I was averaging 1400 per day before but dropped to about 1250 and that's when the big problems started. I guess I need to go back to 1400, maybe even more because I've started doing some more intense free weights. (Did abs five days ago and they are still sore! Guess I found some good ab exercises.)

I was weak last night, after I logged my kcal and realized I wouldn't be able to exercise AGAIN, I gave in to some junk food. Not terrible, and I forgave myself even as I was doing it, but the fact that I have been too tired / week to exercise, have had more trouble fighting junk food cravings like pizza and like last night, tells me I must be overdoing it. At 169.5 pounds, trying to do 30 minutes of intense cardio each day and intense free weights every other day, 1200 kcal per day just isn't cutting it for me.

So I'm altering my plan once again. Trying to quit coffee as of today - have been cutting back and this is the final step. (The next few days are going to be rough.) I'll focus on getting more water and maybe for the next couple of weeks I'll do weights twice a week for better recovery, see how that goes. Maybe I'll replace the two days I was doing weights before with morning yoga. I'll get back to my 30 minutes of cardio each day. I'll try to vary my daily caloric intake from 1200 to 1700 again, with an average of about 1400.

There's an awful lot of guesswork with this dieting stuff, that has been the hardest part. I guess if I had a personal trainer or something these issues would be addressed before they were even issues.

Well, now, that is interesting.

I went to the site r-D recommends ( http://www.caloriesperhour.com/index_burn.html (http://www.caloriesperhour.com/index_burn.html) ) and calculated out my average weekly activities. Factoring in a desired weight loss of 2 lbs per week, I should be taking in about 1,800 kcal per day! No wonder I feel tired all the time at 1,200. Now I feel like I have a base to work from and a bit relieved that there is a solution to how awful I've been feeling lately. :)

Well, now, that is interesting.

I went to the site r-D recommends ( http://www.caloriesperhour.com/index_burn.html (http://www.caloriesperhour.com/index_burn.html) ) and calculated out my average weekly activities. Factoring in a desired weight loss of 2 lbs per week, I should be taking in about 1,800 kcal per day! No wonder I feel tired all the time at 1,200. Now I feel like I have a base to work from and a bit relieved that there is a solution to how awful I've been feeling lately. :) Sabrina,

You probably noticed my mentioning the site more than a few times and that it's on my Profile as a "homepage URL", so I'm glad you finally took it out for a test drive.

Yes, that had been my thinking all along: much under 1600-1800 calories/day was just setting yourself up for your body starting to shut down into famine mode (conserving calories, slowing your metabolic rate, etc.), and an almost guarantee that you'll regularly encounter "plateau" problems.

rD

Well, I'm glad you kept mentioning it - finally I listened! :) I was really wearing myself out and it helps to see the numbers, makes a lot more sense to me now.

I did some calculations for my current weight as well as my target weight so I would have some sense of what will have to change over the coming months to adapt to a lower weight.

I felt very relieved to know why I've been so tired lately - it was making life so hard. Hopefully it won't take long to get my energy back.

Thanks!

Eight weeks ago I embarked on this weight loss journey. While I feared a lack of motivation, I found I had it in abundance. I combined healthier choices for food with moderate exercise and lost weight at an average of about 1.75 pounds per week.

As time progressed, I felt stronger physically and emotionally, which kept me on track. I used positive visualization of reaching my goals which did wonders.

I am still astounded at the number of things I've had to face in eight weeks. Job, relationship, financial, health issues, eating and exercise on vacation, a plateau, and more recently the flu.

It was hard to figure out why I got the flu. I've been exercising and eating better, how could I not fend off the flu? Well, as I have modified my diet and exercise plan, I did not make educated decisions about my caloric intake and over the past two weeks have been eating between 1,000-1,3000 kcal daily. My motivation slowly started to slip away, I found myself too physically exhausted to work out, I even lost the brain power to do my visualization.

Finally this morning I used the link r-D has so kindly provided and calculated my realistic caloric needs and was astounded to find out I was taking in about 600 less than that per day - even factoring in a two pound per week weight loss goal!

It has taken it's toll, and I post this tired and disappointed that it was not my lack of motivation that is affecting me, but my lack of good judgement. I guess I need a few days to reverse this feeling and get back on the right track. I haven't exercised in almost a week and don't see that happening for at least a few more days. I didn't count calories today, I ate more than usual but made all good choices. I may need to do that for a few days, too, whatever it takes to come through this and have my energy back.

Not sure if I'll be checking in here, I do find writing very theraputic. Anyway, if I disappear for a few days that's where I am. I know my fitness level is going down from not working out, I know I may put on a few of those hard-lost pounds, but I can't continue like this and have other priorities.

EEK! You can't disappear on us! 8-|

I think you're being too hard on yourself. You are doing well. It's the big picture that counts. Ok, so you had some pizza. Even if you didn't plan to eat pizza, it wasn't the end of the world-- you kept within a reasonable caloric amount for the day. And yeah, you're exhausted, but now you know why and can fix the problem. You have been doing so well; I just don't want to see you give up now or get discouraged.

At any rate, I hope that you feel better soon!

, eating and exercise on vacation, a plateau, and more recently the flu.

It was hard to figure out why I got the flu. I've been exercising and eating better, how could I not fend off the flu? Well, as I have modified my diet and exercise plan, I did not make educated decisions about my caloric intake and over the past two weeks have been eating between 1,000-1,3000 kcal daily. My motivation slowly started to slip away, I found myself too physically exhausted to work out, I even lost the brain power to do my visualization.
Sabrina,

I remember, when I first went to live on my own, that I ate (for that era) healthily enough, but steadily lost a pound a week (going from 205 lbs to 155 lbs in a year, I'm 6'2"). I wasn't consciously dieting at all, merely interested in other things than food (sigh! if only those days were back).

Long story short, I realized I was in trouble when I developed a nagging cough (I'm a non-smoker) which just wouldn't go away. Took me a week or so to figure, well, maybe I'm just not getting enough nutrition. Sure enough, a week after boosting my intake, my cough disappeared, and I drifted back up to 165 lbs or so. [Shortly after, I got a position in a Northern mining camp as an analytical chemist, which included meals, and I gained 50 pounds in a year.]

You're catching back up on your intake just now. Rather then merely eating more chocolate bars (just kidding! though I do hope you inch back on your fat intake to 20% from the 30-40% you've been posting), you might try making up the extra 800 or so calories/day you should add back into your diet for several days, in the form of brown rice (has a normal shelf life of six months, keeps best in the fridge, 1 cup plus 2 cups of water, bring to a boil and simmer for 45 minutes = 3 or 4 servings, keeps ok as cooked rice for several days in the fridge, reheat in the microwave or on the stove -- really great when mixed with canned beans).

Brown rice is nutritious and a good fiber source. It's an interesting staple that you might develop a taste for (and a healthy substitute for some of the bread you probably ingest).

rD

Thanks, teacher81 and rD. Fact is the past week or two have been less than ideal, and I am trying to get back my energy. I did feel a little better today at times.

DIET
1625 calories (26% fat, 58% carbs, 16% protein)

EXERCISE
Cardio - stepper for 30 minutes, 2122 steps

DIET
1645 calories (36% fat, 42% carbs, 21% protein)

EXERCISE
Weights - abs, lats, pecs, delts, biceps, triceps
Cardio - run 1.1 miles (11:20), walk for a total time of 30 minutes

Looks like you're doing a good job keepig on track and nice exercise regime! Keep working hard!!!

Melinda :D

Thanks, Melinda.

DIET
1645 calories (26% fat, 42% carbs, 32% protein)

EXERCISE
None.

DIET
1635 calories (33% fat, 40% carbs, 27% protein)

EXERCISE
Cardio - stepper, 30 minutes for 2134 steps

I've been a bit out of it for a while, first the flu, then lowering my daily caloric intake too low and running out of steam for over a week, and quitting coffee certainly hasn't helped with my energy.

I haven't weighed myself in a bit because I knew that this whole deal had set me back, and if I saw myself back at numbers I've worked so hard to get past, it would be extremely frustrating. Anyway, this morning I figured it was time and anxiously got onto the scale, weighing in at 169 even. Completely unexpected. Glad I didn't go up, and losing .5 pounds was even better.

I'm behind on my goals now, but it happens. I'll see if I can get back on track now.

DIET
1490 calories (28% fat, 45% carbs, 27% protein)

EXERCISE
Cardio - run 1.1 miles (11:08), walk until a total of 30 minutes

DIET
1590 calories (36% fat, 42% carbs, 22% protein)

EXERCISE
No official exercise, but I was very active today including a lot of walking

DIET
1540 calories (27% fat, 28% carbs, 15% protein)

EXERCISE
Weights - abs, quads, hamstrings, pecs, lats, delts, biceps, triceps

I've been posting on some SOS threads that remind me of my own emotional struggles with eating. I have been suggesting writing/posting in a journal to help sort some of that out. Finally it occurred to me I haven't been following my own advice for a while, and that is perhaps why I am having such difficulties with my objectives. So, here goes....

In response to about a week of inadequate calories I modified my daily intake to about 1,650 a day (1,800 was a rough calculation I came to to permit the 2 pound per week weight loss). Due to schedule and other factors I have not been so dilligent about working out. And I am not losing...anything.

I switched to doing weights twice a week and it's just not enough - feels like I have lost some ground every time I lift because it's been too long. I was really making progress doing it every other day, so perhaps I should go back to that schedule.

Missing out on cardio surprisingly increases my appetite. I can't skip too much cardio or my hunger makes it hard to stick to my diet.

I met with success at 1,400 - 1,700 kcal per day, varying it. I am considering doing that again to see if I can break through this rut, which is very frustrating.

Having quit coffee (out of my diet, not out of my mind :)), my energy levels have not returned to the same level as before. I suspect the coffee was giving me some much needed extra energy which I needed to get myself going for exercise and keep up my enthusiasm. And it made me feel a little more full in the morning and less hungry all day. Not an easy thing to give up.

Emotionally...I'm going through some stuff. Food doesn't have the same appeal to address my emotional issues like it did before my diet, but at the same time the lack of energy makes me feel like I need more food for the calories.

Anyway, my log from yesterday:

DIET
2325 calories (37% fat, 37% carbs, 27% protein)

EXERCISE
None

I switched to doing weights twice a week and it's just not enough - feels like I have lost some ground every time I lift because it's been too long. I was really making progress doing it every other day, so perhaps I should go back to that schedule.Sabrina,

For many, twice a week is better for maintaining, unless you're really straining (which risks injuries). Religiously working out every second day is far more reliable.Missing out on cardio surprisingly increases my appetite. I can't skip too much cardio or my hunger makes it hard to stick to my diet.Cardio is great as an appetite suppressant [think of it as what happens when you take your car in for a tune up -- you end up with a smoother running, more efficient machine that's more powerful], and for dealing with emotional issues [in addition to the endorphine high, the whole business of doing an aerobic workout is a way to 'step aside' from life's drudgery and same old routines, by entering a 'world of your own']. It's almost as good as meditating for helping settle ourselves down and taking the 'edge' off our mental state. But, in your shoes, I would be doing both (once or twice daily meditation periods of twenty minutes, and daily or every second day aerobics of 25-40 minutes plus warm-up/cooldown).

Stress, a.k.a. cortisol production, really packs on the body produced chloresterol, while triggering the body's defensive reaction of building up or maintaining fat reserves.

I met with success at 1,400 - 1,700 kcal per day, varying it.]Yes, but that's also when you went so close to famine mode that your body's metabolic rate slowed down, you were starting to feel tired all the time, and your resistance probably dropped as you caught a 'bug'.

rD

ps. I still say, more vegetables, way less fat (aim for 10-20%), AND, get your intake up to a solid average of 1,800 calories/day and you will have (a) more energy again, and, (b) paradoxically, actually lose weight steadily. Trust me on this -- at least try it for ten days.

LOL, I figured you would see that post and say something. Actually the 1400-1700 was working great, with great energy, it was when my intake shifted to 1200 a day that it really messed me up. I do feel better now at the 1650 a day, but haven't lost even a single pound! My calculations could be off, the different between the average for 1400-1700 and the 1800 I calculated is just over 10% - not that far off for guesswork.

Maybe I'll shift down in calories for one week, and if that makes me feel bad and/or I don't lose anything, I'll shift back up again to the 1800 for a week. I need to think about what to do here. But as always, the advice is appreciated, rD.

DIET
1665 calories (26% fat, 55% carbs, 19% protein)

EXERCISE
Weights - abs, lats, pecs, delts, triceps, biceps
Cardio - run .95 miles in 8:47

I ran a different way yesterday and didn't know the mileage until just now. I think I should calculate my time per mile to have a comparable figure to compare to. My regular time at 1.1 miles is typically 10:18 per mile pace. The .95 miles I did yesterday was an improvement of 1:03, at 9:15 per mile pace! A one minute improvement is pretty substantial. I need to see if I can do that again.

I realized that for a little while I have been in "minimal effort" mode. Let me explain.

While overweight and NOT making efforts to improve my health, I was VERY lazy. Just about everything I did was an effort to conserve energy. Sit when possible instead of stand. Park as close to the store as possible. Lean against the counter when washing dishes. Avoid doing as much stuff as possible.

Since starting my diet I've read something along these lines: overweight people aren't "lazy", it's just that moving around with the extra weight is so much effort that we are conserving.

Another thing I've realized is that most of my diets have suffered a lack of investment in effort. I didn't try very hard, didn't commit. Maybe I was working out, but I failed to educate myself on caloric needs and my daily intake. Or I made slight changes in my diet but didn't exercise very much. Incomplete effort.

Over the past few weeks, I have suffered some low energy issues and I now realize that once I started working out again I was putting in less than 100%. I need to "be there", be committed to the moment, the effort. I have not been doing that, and I feel it has hindered my progress. I am now trying to give it my all again and see what happens...

Well, I gave it my best. I was shifting towards an earlier breakfast time but no matter what I have I am still much more hungry throughout the rest of the day. And it is totally messing up my diet when I have to eat so much more all day long. I am back to eating breakfast later.

Some of you may be aware of my search for a good diet salad dressing. I have tried a few before that were gross. I tried another yesterday that tasted like watered down clay - not promising. I had made a whole salad with it and had to throw it out, ick.

I went to the fridge to see what I could make another salad with and...lo and behold...a dressing I used to like a long time ago was in there. Looked at the label, 45 calories, so I put it on and YUM! Newman's Own Light Balsamic Vinaigrette, delicious. It may be mostly fat, but 45 calories worth is not a big deal in the scheme of things. And the taste tempts me to eat salads more. Love it! The search is over.

Okay, stupid internet was down again yesterday so I couldn't do my log. Here it is:

DIET
1430 calories (27% fat, 53% carbs, 21% protein)

EXERCISE
Weights - lats, pecs, delts, triceps, biceps
Cardio - stepper for 30 minutes, 2070 steps

I also did much better back on an older routine - wait a while before eating. I know that is contrary to good dieting advice, but it's what works for me. I was able to keep my eating under control all day long and make reasonable choices. I may try doing an earlier breakfast again at another time, but not now. I need to start making progress again, I've been on this plateau too long.

Some of you may be aware of my search for a good diet salad dressing. I have tried a few before that were gross. I tried another yesterday that tasted like watered down clay - not promising. I had made a whole salad with it and had to throw it out, ick. Sabrina,

"made a whole salad with it" Hmm, that sounds ominous. You mean you actually mixed it in with the lettuce leaves? At least while experimenting, I highly recommend serving salad dressing "on the side", where you have total control bite by bite as to just how much you use -- I dip my leaves in it, the same as some people dip their french fries in ketchup.

I rather like Kraft's line of "Light Done Right" salad dressings, especially their Caesar salad dressing -- half the calories of regular dressing, AND, it tastes like salad dressing.
I also did much better back on an older routine - wait a while before eating. I know that is contrary to good dieting advice, but it's what works for me. I often find for myself, that if I've slept well, and can tackle an aerobic workout shortly after getting up, that works out the best in combination with having breakfast shortly afterwards. Almost like our cavemen ancestors fared, in terms of having to hunt down their breakfast. :)

rD

My fave salad dressing is the juice of a lime and lemon with some salt. I also soak some red onion in viniger for about 30 minutes, drain and put that on the salad for a really great kick. I'm pretty sure that this has no cals to it but If the salad I'm about to eat is going to be my meal I really like to add some feta cheese.

Today marks ten weeks on my self-styled diet program. Basically I try to get a good balance of food, good timing on my meals and snacks (for example, no food for the last four hours before bed), and get 30 minutes of cross training cardio just about every day, with free weights every other day.

For the most part I have remained enthusiastic and motivated. Of all the obstacles, the worst was severely low energy and motivation I suffered after having the flu and eating way too few calories for about a week. It took a while to figure out the problem and then fix it. The impacts were physical, mental, and emotional, making it very difficult to stay on track.

Over the ten weeks I have had fairly significant work, money, and relationship issues, some health issues, took a 1 1/2 week vacation (nerve wracking - I was very worried about keeping up my eating and exercise), and two distinct, stubborn plateaus. I have had pizza once, and just recently have brought one of my weakness foods into the house to have on occassion. I have surprised myself with my ability to approach it with moderation, and consider that a mini-success. I have not had any sweets to speak of, I just can't see how anything I'd be interested in would have any redeeming qualities. Just not worth it.

Typically I have enjoyed the exercise - since my little episode it is not quite the same yet but I can feel it's coming back with each workout. I have successfully shaved a whole minute off my mile running time. The other cardio I do I work very hard at it - I have found in the process that I have to pay attention and focus on the moment and the effort for it all to work.

Anyway, reflecting back on all that has transpired, I am really pleased I've stuck with this. It has NOT been easy, and there certainly were times where I felt some of the old tendencies start to surface. But I feel this is about consistency, and a slip up here or there is not an end-all. I refuse to feel guilty about it or come down on myself about it. For me, this only leads down the path of self loathing which in turn spirals into not liking myself or caring anymore, and then to binging. Not where I want to go at all.

Log for today:

DIET
1535 calories (27% fat, 44% carbs, 29% protein)

EXERCISE
Cardio - run 1 mile (9:24) and walk remainder for a total time of 29:30

r-D, I am pretty conservative with salad dressing as it is. In fact, the serving size is two tablespoons, the taste of the vinaigrette is so strong that half of that works on a whole bowl. Not too much, not too little. I did leap a little when I put the yucky stuff on the first salad and felt pretty awful I had to throw it out. Personally I have done well with the Newman's dressings and will see what else they have. I seem to recall a ceasar that was pretty good, too.

A good night's sleep just doesn't happen, so I am just not planning for a while to eat or exercise in the morning. That may change at some point, but not now. I did try the breakfast thing but it definitely made me feel hungry (out of control hungry, like I started eating too much) all day long.

Thanks for visiting, Kelsey! I have found that I am just not that great at food prep, so if I can get Newman to do it for me, that works for me. :) But perhaps if I need some variety and am toying around in the kitchen I will give that a try - it does sound good. Thanks!

A good night's sleep just doesn't happen, so I am just not planning for a while to eat or exercise in the morning. That may change at some point, but not now. I did try the breakfast thing but it definitely made me feel hungry (out of control hungry, like I started eating too much) all day long.Sabrina,

I would class your sleep problems as being appreciably higher than your dieting needs (of course, the two are related: there's a strong correlation with gaining weight vs not getting enough quality sleep).

For several years (more than five), I had major sleep problems (I'd wake up three or four hours after going to bed, and have great trouble either getting back to sleep, or ending up sleeping very fitfully for the balance of the night). Went through a whole slew of approaches towards dealing with it, nothing really worked well at all (though a light dose of anti-anxiety med in the early evening showed promise, but, I just hate taking meds regularly), until lately this past few months, when I've been able to fit in enough "time outs" into my day.

It's not really meditating, I just take a break and watch a lava lamp for twenty minutes, once or twice a day, typically early morning, and, just after supper, while trying (unsuccessfully, but no matter) to blank my mind. That seems to take the edge off my anxieties for the day, which carries over to my night-time sleep being far better. It's been rare now that I've felt my sleep was not pretty good to very good.

rD

Hey Sabrina, I just got the same Newman's balsamic dressing and ya, I think it's great. You sound like you are doing great, good for you, it's so nice to see you do well, great attitude and great program!

DIET
1510 calories (34% fat, 48% carbs, 19% protein)

EXERCISE
Weights - abs, lats, pecs, delts, biceps, triceps
Cardio - stepper for 30 minutes, 2112 steps

Today is the first day of August, and a Monday. I typically weigh in on Mondays, but have been avoiding the scale because I've been worried about some recent issues that may have caused me to actually gain weight. I decided last night that it is time to "get real" and get back on the scale in the morning.

Weighed in with a 1.5 pound loss at 167.5 (H 32.5, W 41). I feel relieved, as I had been thinking last night that I am back on track and the numbers should be changing again. Glad to see that progress is being made finally!

The measurements are confusing me, they seem to fluctuate a lot. I also noticed that between weeks 8-9, the weight loss seemed to redistribute - in other words seemed like I noticed some thinning in other areas, while at the same time a bit more went back on my mid-section. Anyway, I think it's important to keep track of them and the scale for measurement.

Hoping good things happen for all of us in August!

DIET
1385 calories (23% fat, 58% carbs, 19% protein)

EXERCISE
Cardio - run 1.5 miles (14:50, 9:53/mile), walk remaining for total of 32 minutes

DIET
1550 calories (32% fat, 46% carbs, 22% protein)

EXERCISE
Weights - abs, lats, pecs, delts, biceps, triceps

I upped all my weights today and it was not easy, but it's good to be making progress. :)

I've been weighing myself every morning, again. It makes me feel like I'm better informed about what is going on. And, when I'm losing weight, it helps keep me inspired. No changes since Monday morning, though.

With the recent issues from a few weeks at too few calories, I have been monitoring my daily intake quite carefully. I am also trying to vary the intake each day, with higher days, lower days, and days in between. My average daily intake was about 1450 when I was losing weight more consistently, as of today my average for the last week is 1515. I will try to bring that down just a bit more and see how I feel.

With all the weights and the cardio, I feel quite sure I have added muscle - how much though I can't say. I have visited a local YMCA to see if I could pay to get a body composition analysis, at least body fat, but they won't do it for non-members. I don't know their reasoning for it, but I think it's too bad. Scales are available to the public, why can't some other forms of measurement?

I have visited a local YMCA to see if I could pay to get a body composition analysis, at least body fat, but they won't do it for non-members. I don't know their reasoning for it, but I think it's too bad. Scales are available to the public, why can't some other forms of measurement?Sabrina,

That seems unusual (if there are any other branches, you could phone them to check on their policy). Often there are free or heavily discounted features for members, and the public can simply pay an undiscounted price.

The reasoning behind offering it (for a fee) is to encourage the public to be more aware of what needs to be done, as well as of course, their being a facility where counselling and exercise programs are readily available -- they might include "counselling" which ups the price and might make it uncompetitive for you.

In any large metropolitan center, there are no doubt lots of fitness centers, several of which ought to offer body composition analysis, hopefully done by someone trained and experienced in using skin fold calipers (you want your "lean body mass" = fat-free weight, but could make do with "percentage body fat" for a certain current weight as you can calculate your "lean body mass" from that).

rD

ps. Just possibly it's because they're only a YMCA and not a YM/YWCA (I hadn't thought there were many of those around any more).

You're doing well! And the dressing facotr is interesting...I love red wine vinegarette. I take a bit of it with some veggie oil and some garlic salt and pepper and it's perfect. YUMMY! Lite, no calories, very little if any fat. Perfect.

Melinda :D

DIET
1545 calories (23% fat, 59% carbs, 18% protein)

EXERCISE
Weights - legs

DIET
1690 calories (25% fat, 57% carbs, 18% protein)

EXERCISE
Weights - lats, pecs, delts, tripceps, biceps
Cardio - stepper for 30 minutes (2245 steps, PBR)

Have been weighing myself every morning since Monday, with absolutely no change. I am working out hard with the cardio and weights, and have been careful with the calories and timing. Not sure if I should change part of my routine, guess I'll wait and see what has happened by Monday.

Hit the weights very hard on Tuesday (two days ago), upped the weight for each exercise. It was bad judgement to do them again tonight, I could tell my muscles needed a little more recovery time. I may forgo doing weights again until Sunday or Monday.

Oh, forgot to mention...found another light dressing that is pretty good, too, Ken's Lite Caesar - yum! Between that and the Newman's, I think I have enough variety. Plus now it's making me want to get salads because I like the taste of the dressings so much. :)

It's official - I weighed in this morning at 167, marking a total weight loss of 15 pounds to date. While this is an exciting milestone for me I can't help feel terribly discouraged at my recent results, which are very slow weight loss. I am working very hard to eat right and give 100% effort during my reasonable workouts - so why only a loss of .5 pounds in the last five days?

When my average daily kcal intake was 1450 I was losing 1-2 pounds a week. Right now my daily average is about 1515, not too different yet the results are completely different. I have suffered so many plateaus recently and it is getting very frustrating. I have some social events to go to in the late summer and the fall and had hoped to meet my very reasonable goals by then, but at this pace it is never going to happen! FRUSTRATION!!!

......... so why only a loss of .5 pounds in the last five days?

When my average daily kcal intake was 1450 I was losing 1-2 pounds a week. Right now my daily average is about 1515, not too different yet the results are completely different. Sabrina,

If you're able to take a step back from your program, think about just when you were losing 1-2 pounds a week. Near the beginning of your program, right? It's very common for 'easy' results to occur shortly after the couple of weeks it took to figure out how to eat healthy (or at least, healthier than before). A few pounds of that is often water retention loss, simply from avoiding so many processed foods and cutting back on salty treats.

My sense remains, that you're still under-eating, so your body's rebelling by being slow to give up it's fat stores. Ten days at 1,800 calories day (preferrably not as increased fat, but as vegetables and say, brown rice and beans) along with your current activity levels, would prove me right or wrong (the first three days won't do anything, but, the following seven days ought to show a clear one to two pounds loss). You surely won't lose weight any slower than you have been doing lately.

rD

ps. And, 1,800 calories/day, is what the activity calorie counter suggests, after reducing your intake by the equivalent of 2 pounds of fat calories per week.

DIET
1690 calories (34% fat, 44% carbs, 22% protein)

EXERCISE
Cardio - run 1.5 miles (15:24, 10:16/mile), walk remainder for a total of 30 minutes

DIET
1810 calories (33% fat, 48% carbs, 18% protein)

EXERCISE
Day off

I'm exceedingly tired today, and sore from different cardio exercises, different free weights. I think it's best to simply take a day off, reflect on some stuff, and get going again in the morning.

I was able to estimate bodyfat today - roughly 32%. That sucks. But it helped me to do some calculations and figure out my goal weight is actually pretty reasonable - would put me at a lean body weight of roughly 12-18%, which I guess is trim but not insane for women.

(Log for Sunday)

DIET
1665 calories (37% fat, 37% carbs, 36% protein)

EXERCISE
Morning HIIT running 11 minutes (5 warmup, 5 :30 intervals, 1 minute cooldown)
Weights - abs

Well, the frustrations of not seeing results are getting to me. I have done tons of research and am trying some new things, but every week that goes by with no weight lost or just .5 pounds is disheartening. I am also using a measuring tape so I know there has been no progress.

Anyway, last night I tried to cheer myself up by going through my closet. At the start of this diet plan I boxed up clothes by size so as I got to certain points I would have a new waredrobe waiting for me. With my modest weight loss goals I should be at a certain size by mid-August, but the recent massive halt to my progress means that target is pushed out much further now. Discouraging.

Back to my closet. I started trying on a few things and am fairly close to wearing some miscellaneous items, and actually fit into a number of clothes I haven't worn in years! The biggest excitement comes from being able to fit into a pair of jeans again - it has been about three years since I last wore jeans. (I don't wear them to work so there was no sense in buying some everytime I outgrew the last pair.) The shock and delight when I found out they fit, wow. Just the emotional fuel I needed.

So, this post is both about major discouragement as well as encouragement. This dieting thing is not an easy endeavor.

DIET
1800 calories (32% fat, 37% carbs, 32% protein)

EXERCISE
Weights (am) - lats, pecs
Weights (pm) - delts, biceps, triceps

Well, I'm starting to figure out part of my problem for the last week, may be retaining water due to TOM. It's best to wait a while before getting back onto the scale.

Found a few other sites that run calorie requirements calculations and will do some more work with those numbers tonight to make sure I'm on the right track.

I could tell when I put on my workout clothes last night that I had lost weight, so weighed in this morning to record a two-pound weight loss. I suspect this happened over the last week but was not previously recorded due to TOM water retention. Anyway, I certainly didn't expect to see 165 on the scale and am pleased to see the numbers moving again.

DIET
1440 calories (36% fat, 35% carbs, 29% protein)

EXERCISE
(am) Cycle HIIT (5 minute warmup, 8 minutes of :30/:60 intervals, 2 minutes cooldown)

My legs are really sore from the cycling, probably wasn't a great idea to do HIIT with the first time on a bike, but it's done now. Based on how I feel now I'll probably have to take tomorrow off, but that's okay.

The calories are a bit low today, I've been trying to get in 1600-1800 or so a day but (can't believe I'm saying this) sometimes it's just hard to get in that much. I was at 1200-1600 before and I'm more accustomed to that. I'll keep working on it though.

It's Wednesday, and I am sore all over from the cycling. Good feeling to know I challenged myself, but hopefully I didn't overdo it. Anyway, a day of rest to mend will help.

Had some dreams last night that I was at goal, what a wonderful feeling. :)

DIET
1535 calories (19% fat, 51% carbs, 30% protein)

EXERCISE
Short session of yoga

DIET
1690 calories (31% fat, 39% carbs, 29% protein)

EXERCISE
(am) Cycle HIIT (5 minute warmup, 8 minutes of :30/:60 intervals, 2 minutes cooldown)

Weighed in this morning at 163.5. I feel good about my workouts and am working on improving my diet.

DIET
1575 calories (45% fat, 39% carbs, 16% protein)

EXERCISE
(am) Weights - lats, pecs

Wow, didn't do too well on my eating ratios today! I've been aiming for higher calories but seem to have lost a lot of interest in food. Still feel energetic, except when I would expect not to (like at night), and still putting in 100% during workouts.

Hope the weigh in this morning wasn't a fluke. Nice to see the scale finally moving again, that was really tough emotionally to take.

A little stressed about lots of things going on over the weekend, I won't have much time to just relax. But that's tomorrow...

Somewhere along the line I skipped a week in my calendar, but I think I have it figured out now. Today marks twelve weeks of working towards a new lifestyle, a healthier diet and challenging exercise.

Up until four months ago I led a sedentary life. The biggest thrill for me in pursuing my goals is to see and feel changes - the loss of 18.5 pounds (roughly 1.5 pounds per week), feeling stronger from the weight and endurance exercise. The fact that this progress has taken twelve weeks has allowed me the time to learn and grow emotionally in this new lifestyle, too. Not sure if that makes sense, but I guess I'm saying there has been a reward to working hard and earning my results, owning them for myself, attributable to nothing but my efforts and perseverance.

I am lifting heavier weights than I ever have in my life - actually had to go out and buy some new plates. Just this week I switched from cardio five times a week to HIIT three times a week - much more aggressive exercise. I just cleaned up my diet even more and switched to eating about every three hours - for me that ends up being 3-4 times a day. And, for health reasons, I quit coffee.

Like I have said, this hasn't been easy. The first month was fairly smooth - weight loss was relatively easy and understandably so, as I had drastically changed my lifestyle and was fairly overweight. Then I went on a vacation and shook up my schedule, exercise, and eating habits. I lost weight during the trip but it was very hard to get back into my routine when I returned. Then I suffered some health issues, first the flu where I lost my appetite, then after recovering from that I continued a low daily calorie count of about 1200. It did not take long for me to feel too weak to exercise, I felt exhausted all the time, increasing by the day, until I figured out my calories were way too low and started eating more. I consider this "starvation syndrome" and it really messes with the metabolism. It took longer to recover from it than it did to get there. I dealt with all of this for about a month.

After that, even with an increase in calories to an appropriate level, my weight loss progress seemed at a standstill. Very frustrating to work so hard and be diligent about diet and not see results, although if I have learned anything from all of this it's that consistency is key. Anyway, just over a week ago my frustration was pretty intense so I started doing lots of research. That was when I modified my diet again and my exercise plan. Finally the numbers on the scale have slowly started moving again, and the tape measure has also shown some modest results.

One of the best things I did was obtain a body fat analyzer. Combined with the scale, I now have more complete information about the results of my efforts. The one I got is probably not totally accurate, but I was just looking to get a general idea, and also evaluate changes. Still looking for a place to have a body comp analysis done.

In addition to posting at Diettalk, I also found a good site about running and another about weight lifting that I frequent as well. I have learned a lot from these different resources.

Onward I go...

One of the best things I did was obtain a body fat analyzer. Combined with the scale, I now have more complete information about the results of my efforts. The one I got is probably not totally accurate, but I was just looking to get a general idea, and also evaluate changes. Still looking for a place to have a body comp analysis done.
Sabrina,

Some members invest in body fat calipers ($15-$25), which if used properly, ought to be more accurate than a 'body fat analyzer', though that sort of gadget is o.k. on a 'relative' basis versus an 'absolute' basis. That is, it's useful for measuring progress and changes, but, the actual figure it comes up with, may be off by a fair bit.

rD

DIET
1750 calories (20% fat, 52% carbs, 28% protein)

EXERCISE
(am) Weights - biceps, triceps, delts
(am) Cardio - run 1.5 miles in 95 degree heat (15:20, 10:13/mile)

DIET
1510 calories (23% fat, 49% carbs, 29% protein)

EXERCISE
(am) Cardio - HIIT cycling (5 min warmup, :30/:60 intervals for 9.5 min, 2 min cooldown = 16:30 total)
(pm) Cardio - stepper for 30 minutes (2198 steps)

I'd forgotten the brand name of the popular skin fold calipers (http://www.smartbodyz.com/AccuMeasureText.htm) in widespread use -- I wish they sold them up here in Canada.

rD

ps. The above URL has a good overview of skin fold calipers as well as body fat measuring gadgets generally.

(Log for Monday)

DIET
1680 calories (24% fat, 49% carbs, 28% protein)

EXERCISE
(am) Weights - lats, pecs

Weighed in this morning at 163. During the first month or so of my diet, I could see the .5 lbs come off a few times a week with some regularity. Now the scale is all over the place. Weighed 165, then 163.5, then back to 165 for a couple of days, then 164.5, now 163. WHAT IS UP!? I know I really shouldn't be weighing myself every day, but I hoped that I would see the same pattern as before....losing a half pound every few days. And when I lost it, it didn't come back. Me confused.

DIET
1765 calories (22% fat, 49% carbs, 29% protein)

EXERCISE
(am) Running - HIIT hill sprints (6.5 minute warmup, 8 minutes of :30/:60 HIIT, 5 minutes cooldown jog, total 19:30)
(pm) Cardio - stepper for 30 minutes, 2204 steps

DIET
1695 calories (29% fat, 42% carbs, 29% protein)

EXERCISE
Day off

DIET
1640 calories (31% fat, 39% carbs, 30% protein)

EXERCISE
Day off

I weighed in this morning at 162, which is down 20 pounds from my original weigh in of 182. While this is a great milestone for me, I realize I'm not even halfway there yet! X-( But I am glad for the progress.

Hey Sabrina, CONGRATS on the 20 pounds! That's quite an achievement. Here's wishing you lots of continued success. :cheer:

(Log for Friday)

DIET
1400 calories (35% fat, 42% carbs, 22% protein)

EXERCISE
Run 1.5 miles, 15:00 minutes (10:00 per mile)

DIET
1710 calories (25% fat, 47% carbs, 27% protein)

EXERCISE
None.

(Log for Sunday)

DIET
1210 calories (24% fat, 49% carbs, 27% protein)

EXERCISE
(am) HIIT hill sprints - 6 minute warmup, 6 minute cooldown, 8 minutes of :30/:60 HIIT

I know my calories are way low, but eating every three hours is getting hard. Yesterday I forgot and missed a mini-meal, which is one reason why it's low. Haven't been super interested in food - kind of ironic that I used to overeat so much, but now that I'm supposed to eat every three hours it's not so easy. The key is healthy choices, and for me, avoiding processed sugars altogether.

Noticed that the weight comes off better when I get more sleep. Weighed in at 161 today. When I hit the 150s I will be quite excited.

It's been a week since I posted. Since getting into my diet groove I've been throwing little tests at myself to build my willpower and strength. A few times I have brought major weakness foods into the house to make sure I could resist, which I could. Ironically I actually forgot the food was here altogether! I have been out to eat several times and have gone on vacation twice now. I spent the last week away from my logs and my journal as another test of my resolve and I guess I did okay. For two days I didn't enter my food at fitday.com, either, but am starting back up again today.

I will be working hard to get the weight loss going again, each time I get on the scale and see a 1-2 pound fluctuation up it freaks me out, but in hindsight each time it has been due to upcoming TOM. My 1 pound shift this morning may be the same deal, because I have been eating well and getting my exercise in, although an injury has prevented me from doing weights for the past two weeks until today.

So, back to our regularly scheduled program.

(Log for Monday)

DIET
1980 calories (25% fat, 44% carbs, 31% protein)

EXERCISE
(am) Weights - abs, legs
(pm) Weights - chest, back

Hey Sabrina, just wanted to pop in and see how you're doing. I really appreciated the note you left in my journal while I was away - you gave me lots to think about! Besides the tape measure (to counter-act the lying scale) I need to get control over my downfall: starchy foods - breads, pastas, baked goods, etc. I'm gradually turning my kitchen over to whole grain products (I NEVER thought I'd enjoy flax seed spaghetti - but here I am!) and doing my best to monitor starch intake. I'm inspired by your victory over refined sugar. How awesome for you to be able to bring "weakness" foods into the house and not be bothered by them! :super:

Sorry to hear that you've not had the support you would like in real life. But I guess that's what makes Diettalk such a wonderful resource for many of us. If you ever want to send me a pm, please don't think twice. Meanwhile... keep up the terrific job! :)

Hi, Anne! Sounds like you're making some great progress. In the past I have been a carb maniac - both complex carbs (fresh baked rolls, garlic mashed potatoes, pasta, etc.) and sugars. The sugars are indeed gone and the only complex carbs I really have are 9-grain bread, wheat pasta, brown rice - in small amounts. Takes some getting used to.

Winning over sugar actually helps with the victory. I've realized that eating sugar actually makes me feel more hungry and moody, thus more prone to binge and eat more sugar...the cycle continues on. Cutting it out entirely (excluding modest amounts in some of my regular foods) makes those side effects go away.

Anyway, thanks for the invite on the PM, I just might take you up on that someday. :)

DIET
1865 calories (22% fat, 46% carbs, 32% protein)

EXERCISE
(am) Cardio - HIIT cycling (5 / 8 / 2 = 15 minutes total)
(pm) Cardio - stepper for 30 minutes, 2256 steps

I guess it's been a while since I really posted much more than my daily logs. I've been very busy, and it's only going to get worse. But I have still been prioritizing my diet and exercise, the slow progress I'm making is about all I "own" emotionally these days. I enjoy working out and eating right, which, in combination, make me feel stronger.

I've gone through some strange emotions through all of this. More recently I was so excited to reach an over 20 pound weight loss! I could see the difference everywhere in me. I started feeling pretty good about myself, but now it's caught up with me. I look in the mirror and look fat again. And it's not a distorted perspective, I mean, I have flab hanging on my arms and legs, cellulite in numerous places that most normal people don't have. I have to realize that my 25 pounds still left to go is a lot of weight, and that as I work on that these things that make me feel flabby will hopefully start to disappear. I think maybe at first I was not accustomed to the weight I had lost, and now I have become used to it so I can see things more clearly.

I am stuck at yet another plateau, major frustrations there. I have some reasonable goals for September that I will be working on pretty hard, hopefully I can break through this weight loss stall and get things going again.

Anne is so right, I have so little support in my life. One small example: I recently visited with some friends, many of whom last saw me at a significantly higher weight. No one said anything at all about my weight loss. Maybe people would feel strange doing so, but I hoped at least one person would confirm that I'm looking better. I don't know how I could not be, I'm wearing clothes I haven't been able to fit into for years.

I need to get out of this weight loss depression sort of thing I'm experiencing and get at it again! It's SO HARD when the scale isn't changing. I work very hard at all of it and hope to at least see a .5 pound weight loss a week, when I don't see anything at all it does make things harder emotionally.

Anyway, enough rambling. Tomorrow is another day.

DIET
1810 calories (25% fat, 50% carbs, 26% protein)

EXERCISE
(am) Weights - shoulders and arms

I need to get it back into gear. When I recently hit the 21 pound weight loss, I kind of started self doubting that I could keep going. And, with weight loss (and other things), I think I have a way of proving myself right sometimes with self defeating talk.

Hey, I know how to lose weight in a healthy manner. I have come far this time and have lost weight down to 115 before in my life, so I believe I can get there. I just need to give it my all like I have been doing, don't listen to the pessimism in me (or others) and keep at it!

I have recalculated my dietary needs for the next level and am modifying my diet again. Let's rev this back up again!!!

DIET
1635 calories (28% fat, 47% carbs, 25% protein)

EXERCISE
(pm) Abs
(pm) Cardio - stepper for 30 minutes, 2203 steps

Hey Sabrina - good luck with your plateau-busting strategy! I think you're on to something re: proving yourself right with the self-defeating talk. There's a famous quote about that, but darned if I can remember it right now... As for the friends, maybe they didn't comment on your weight loss because they weren't sure if it's a touchy subject? Sometimes people just don't know how to handle these things, and they end up erring on the side of too much caution. Anyway, hope you find some sources of positive reinforcement in your day to day life. Hang in there! You're doing :super:

Hey, Anne! What's up? Thanks for the input, nice to hear from someone, kinda going through a hard time right now.

DIET
1800 calories (21% fat, 52% carbs, 27% protein)

EXERCISE
(am) Weights - chest, back

I am so frustrated!!! I have been stuck at 161 for two weeks now, since I first saw it on the scale on 8/22. I am eating well, exercising hard, what is up???

My latest calorie needs calculations indicate roughly 2600 per day. I take about 1000 off of that for an estimated two pound weight loss per week, so right now I'm eating about 1600 to 1800 per day. I'm not so low it's negatively affecting my metabolism, and not so high that I won't lose any weight at all. This is like the third or fourth stubborn plateau and it is so frustrating every time. I have some reasonable goals for later this year but each plateau is really setting me back. Hard to feel motivated and encouraged when I'm not getting results. I don't even care if it's .5 pounds, I just want to see that I'm making an impact!

I don't want to give up but I am SO discouraged. :(

I am so frustrated!!![/b] I have been stuck at 161 for two weeks now, since I first saw it on the scale on 8/22. I am eating well, exercising hard, what is up???

My latest calorie needs calculations indicate roughly 2600 per day. I take about 1000 off of that for an estimated two pound weight loss per week, so right now I'm eating about 1600 to 1800 per day. Sabrina,

Lag time often takes a couple of weeks for a new regime or diet level to take effect, so, a few days of doing this or that, is unlikely to have any measureable impact.

If you're still experiencing noted stress and/or sleep problems, losing weight is likely to be a slow, uphill battle.

rD

ps. I've read a few of your workout descriptions. Several of them appeared to be on the order of ten minutes. A meaningful aerobic workout is usually considered as having a minimum period of twenty-five minutes plus warm-ups and cooldowns (post-workout times are also an optimal time for stretching).

Hi, rD, thanks for checking in.

In fact I've been at this level for over the past four weeks, and the exercise is about the same although I've been varying the days and the order of my exercises. For the first several weeks I had really stimulated my metabolism and was losing weight again. Now I'm stuck again.

Regarding the cardio - I have replaced most of my 30 minute cardio sessions with high intensity interval training (HIIT). HIIT has been shown to rev up the metabolism and actually burn more fat than "in the zone" aerobic training. You can do a Google search on HIIT or just check out some of these links if you'd like to find out more:

http://www.musclemedia.com/training/hiit.asp#studies (http://www.musclemedia.com/training/hiit.asp#studies)
http://davedraper.com/hiit-cardio-training.html (http://davedraper.com/hiit-cardio-training.html)
http://www.cbass.com/FATBURN.HTM (http://www.cbass.com/FATBURN.HTM)
http://www.wannabebig.com/article.php?articleid=165 (http://www.wannabebig.com/article.php?articleid=165)

"...compared to moderate-intensity endurance exercise, high- intensity intermittent exercise causes more calories and fat to be burned following the workout."

The idea behind high intensity is that it should be barely sustainable. If you can do it for great lengths of time, you are not working hard enough. For instance, my first session of HIIT cardio was running. Not intense enough, I just could not get my heart rate up enough. The next time I did it running, I did hill sprints instead of running on an even surface. That did the trick. In addition to the HIIT, I do about three sessions of regular old "in the zone" cardio during the week.

I'm not sure where you saw workout sessions of 10 minutes - my HIIT lasts 15-20 minutes, my regular aerobic exercise is 30 minutes, my weight training is about 60 minutes each time, and last week I did inline skating for about an hour and a half.

DIET
2050 calories (24% fat, 52% carbs, 24% protein)

EXERCISE
(am) Cardio - HIIT cycling (5 / 8 / 2 = 15 minutes total)
(pm) Weights - shoulders, biceps, triceps
(pm) Run 1.5 miles, 15:30 (10:18 per mile)

Regarding the cardio - I have replaced most of my 30 minute cardio sessions with high intensity interval training (HIIT). HIIT has been shown to rev up the metabolism and actually burn more fat than "in the zone" aerobic training. ............ my HIIT lasts 15-20 minutes, my regular aerobic exercise is 30 minutes, my weight training is about 60 minutes each time, and last week I did inline skating for about an hour and a half.Sabrina,

"HIIT" is a new one on me.

I was aware of a very strong trend for fat burning workouts the past couple of years (Kathy Smith has been really flogging this aspect), to include interval training (eg. during a normal aerobic workout, cycles of really pushing it for 90 seconds out of every five minutes, or some such), as being a way of more than tripling the increased component of additional calorie consumption from 'revved up' metabolisms afterwards.

What you're describing for HIIT sounded completely different, so I looked into it. The key quote (from your third link), is of course:

"....the subcutaneous fat loss was ninefold greater in the HIIT program than in the ET program." In short, the HIIT group got 9 times more fat-loss benefit for every calorie burned exercising. "

Elsewhere, they remark that neither group was dieting (so, the effect is likely that of an "appetite suppressant" (which can be huge), and may have very little to do with metabolism boosting, per se.

In other words, if you are already following a diet, the added calorie burning effects may be trivial, especially if you also shortened your aerobic workout times, figuring, what the heck, surely all those added benefits of HIIT will more than compensate for a shorter workout time.

rD

Well, it may act as an appetite suppressant, but that's not where the fat-burning effects are coming from. It's hard to get an overall view of HIIT from just one resource, so here are some other comments that shed more light on its weight loss effects:

"In research, HIIT has been shown to burn adipose tissue more effectively than low-intensity exercise—up to 50% more efficiently."

"...HIIT speeds up your metabolism and keeps it revved up for some time after your workout."

"Several studies confirm that the higher the exercise intensity, the more fat, proportionately, will be burned during the recovery phase."

"To sum up, the energy cost of HIIT is much greater than that of aerobic exercise. In addition, the body will expend more energy at rest throughout the day and this contributes further to fat loss."

Note that the fat is not being "burned" by a suppressed appetite. The exercise is very hard work and I know a number of people using it to effectively lose fat weight. It also builds muscle, instead of breaking it down like endurance exercise, and added muscle is a good thing to have. Ironically HIIT also improves endurance performance as well.

Hi Sabrina,

:wave: I think that you have lost over 20 lbs and should keep up what you are doing! :)

Corinna

Thanks, Corinna! I did measure a more than .5 inch loss around my hips this morning and can tell by my clothes something is going on, even if the scale isn't budging. :) Also, in the past few days, I've been unhappy with how loose most of my t-shirts are on me and aquired some the next size down which I was not even able to fit into recently. At the same time that I'm seeing the progress, I am also noticing my flabby areas and know I still have so far to go. I just really wanted to see the 150s by the end of August.

Yesterday was a hard workout day, with HIIT cycling, some weight training, and running 1.5 miles, but it felt good. I had pizza yesterday, which I've only had four times in the past fifteen weeks of dieting. It's a different experience now, I eat only a fraction of what I used to have and don't feel deprived in the least.

DIET
1500 calories (25% fat, 41% carbs, 33% protein)

EXERCISE
(am) Weights - legs
(pm) Cardio - stepper for 30 minutes, 2245 steps

Well, I finally got the .5 pound loss I was looking for, LOL. Weighed in this morning at 160.5, exactly a half pound difference. Hope this is an indicator of things to come!

Have worked out extremely hard the past week and may need to take today off for better recovery. Would be nice to nap a lot, too. :)

Hey Sabrina - CONGRATS on the half pound! Hey, a scale move is a scale move.

I'm a big believer in fitness recovery days (I schedule 1-2 recovery days per week, depending on what I'm doing and how hard). So if you do decide to take a day off - enjoy! Relaxation is a terrific reward when it's been so well-earned. :)

Hope you're having a good weekend!

Hi, Anne! Yes, I'm okay with the .5 pounds - any move in the right direction is okay with me. I wouldn't really call what I did today "relaxing" :) but I did take a break from exercise today - I have been hitting the weights pretty hard and am sore in assorted muscle groups. Note: Lunges are great for the inner thighs, I've only just started doing them but each time get so sore!

DIET
2050 calories (23% fat, 51% carbs, 27% protein)

EXERCISE
Day off.

DIET
1660 calories (21% fat, 46% carbs, 32% protein)

EXERCISE
(am) Cardio - HIIT cycling, 8 / 5 / 2 =15

Hey Sabrina, just wondered how you've been and what's up. Hope all's well...

I know it's been a long time since I posted. I've gone through a lot over the past few months, but for those who have inquired (via private message or otherwise), I am still around and pursuing my fitness goals. As of today I weighed in at 146.5.

Making a commitment to myself to eat properly and exercise takes work every day, but over the long haul it has been paying off. I hope others here have been doing well with their own goals.

Oh, the irony. I posted a few days ago, and since then had one of my biggest challenges yet. I received medical news that is not so good, and await further details early next week. Of course, I am really worried and not knowing exactly what is going on - having to wait - is very difficult.

So yesterday, when I got the initial news, I felt preoccupied and stressed most of the day. By the end of the day I needed one of my comfort foods - corn chips - and made a special trip to the store for them. I didn't have 2,000 calories' worth but did have a generous serving, and more than I would eat in a typical day. Interesting that despite six months of hard work retraining myself not to turn to food that it's what I did when faced with something really difficult.

As I said, it's a battle every day...

Sabrina! So glad to see you back again! I was wondering how you were. :)

Good job on the progress with your weights and fitness goals! :cheer: But VERY sorry to hear about not-good medical news... Please hang in there, and let us know how it goes with the doctor this week - I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Six months of excellent health habits. Now, in about four rough emotional days, high stress and VERY emotional, I find myself turning to food for comfort. Especially anything with corn in it. I don't think a few days will have a serious impact, consistency is key, however, it is interesting to me how I have reacted. I really have given up some of my power and condoned a bit of overeating. Food is like an addiction, and I face and fight it every day.

I lost a lot of weight, but I am still the same person. Not all of my problems are solved, my life isn't instantly better because I fit into smaller sized jeans.

Don't mean to sound down and depressed, but hey, that's what it is for me. I'm having a hard time right now, gotta get through this and rejoice on the other side.

Not all of my tests are back yet, but my results have been narrowed down to "not great but going to live". This has helped to relieve some stress and I have gotten my eating more under control. I put on a few temporary pounds in the last week or so, but stepped on the scale this morning to see 146.5 - what I was at before. So now I can try to start making some progress again.

I stopped recording my food log months ago, but have still manged to stay on track. I also eat out and do the pizza thing or Mexican every so often, sometimes when socializing more than I should. But I find the longer I stay consistent, the easier it is to get back on track.

Thanks to those who expressed concern about my tests, much appreciated.

It's been a while since I've posted. I recently got some photos of myself and realized that I'm not really overweight anymore - it's been a hard mindset to break. Right now I'm at the maintenance and fine tuning stage - I actually do want to lose a little bit more bodyfat and have been monitoring my body composition closely (lean body mass and bodyfat %).

Every once in a while I come back and read through my journal, start to finish. It really takes me back to the entire process and reminds me of some important lessons.