I have tried journaling before and I have never found the time to continue write in it or I just fail on my program. So, I deduced to try again.

This has been a year where I have good and bad thing happen to me but it has made me a better person. I have gained a lot of weight. My doctor said 80lbs. but I don't believe that. I am up well over 230lbs. I think it is because of stress eating. I am trying to stop that. I was a member of WW for many many years(which is the best program I have ever been on). I quit that because I was not doing well on the program. It was not the program but other things in my life that I let get the best of me. In an emotional state I thought I would go check out LA Weight Loss but that was a big costly mistake. The ladies there were very nice but they had to do their job and that was to push their product and that made me very up set. So after they found out how I felt about buying those expensive product they stop pushing them on me. Let just say the program was not for me.I did good in the beginning but since I did buy the weight loss product I did not do good. I wasted $523.00 with them. I am now doing TOPS which I really really like. First of all, it is only $20 to join and $1 a week. I did TOPS before but some of the ladies did not like each other and I did not want to be associated with that. In other words there was a lot of back biting. I am very happy now. I am very motivated by the things they do. There is always a contest going. I just love it. There is a lady there that goes to my church and we often talk. I really think this is going to work out.

I did not do very well this week because I was on vacation but I will have to get a plan because I will be laid-off a lot because a quite few bindery jobs are going off shore to China. I cannot believe how faithful God has been to me. He is always opening doors I cannot see. He has my back. I am not worried besides worry is a sin. I had a part-time job but it was to much.It was one of them Lucy Ball jobs( the one with candy coming down the line only these were cakes). I was working 7 days a week and putting in 57 to 62 hours a week between the 2 jobs. My doctor told me that I was killing myself. When I was at my regular job on Friday I would fight with myself about going to my part-time job so two weeks ago I just called in and quit. I do miss the money because the pay was awesome for the 2 days. Well money is not everything. I am able to spend time with my husband now. We went to Atlantic City, N.J. for two days. we really enjoyed ourselves. We were back in the room by 8:00 p.m. Just walking the boardwalk and enjoying the ocean breeze was just wonderful.

My goal for the rest of the month is to get up by 5:00 a.m. and walk until 6:00 a.m. outside if it is not raining or on the treadmill if it is. I am going to try to stay on program for the rest of the month and try to lose 6 more pounds. Drink more water and stay positive. I think 90% of dieting is in your head. My long term goal is to be 150lbs. I hope to have that by my birthday next year which is in April. I just want to get healthy.

Every time I go shopping it is an eye opener. In the women department everything is cost more money. The clothes are just ugly and if you do find something you like you cannot afford it. I do think the sales are geared to smaller people because I did not find very much in the women department but they had racks and racks of misses clothes.

Well this is my beginning and hopefully not my ending. I hope to put something in my journal everyday.

Alampkin

I have been up since 5:a.m. It is now 7:a.m. so I have ti get ready for church because I am a greeter this morning. For the first time in many years I have someone greeting with me. This is going to be different. I just love doing this especially when someone new comes into church.

I have already decided to make this a good day and be very positive. I may walk at the park if it is not to hot when I get out of church. I break out so bad from the sun. I have started using a sunscreen.

Breakfast:
1 cup of cereal
8oz. of milk
5 strawberries
water
No Lunch because this is Sunday and we very early on Sundays.

Dinner:
1/2c coleslaw
1 chicken kabob
another veggie
Water

Better go get ready for church. I have to be at the door by 8:00 a.m.

Alampkin :) :D

Good Morning Margaret,

I am so thrilled THAT YOU ARE BACK TO JOURNALING :jn ... and I can assure you that every time YOU POST in your Journal I WILL READ your post ...

The one thing I want to say to you and I AM SPEAKING FROM MY HEART .... BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF ... THIS JOURNEY TAKES TIME -- and we are all WORTH THE TIME AND PATIENCE IT TAKES.

If you falter (and we all do) ... don't :whip: BEAT YOURSELF UP .. you know that YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE ME IN YOUR CORNER ... (just as I know that you are in my corner) .. WELCOME BACK HOME .. have and make it a great day. I am as always, Monica :hug:

Hi Margaret,

Welcome back, to DT and to journalling! I certainly wish you nothing but the best. I know you CAN reach your goal. And with the help and support of your friends at home AND here, I also know you WILL!!

Have a wonderful, successful week!

I posted a thank you to Sandie and Monica in my journal but it did not appear. Thank You both for your support.

I am really going to try this time. Today, I went to get some medicine from the drugstore. While I was there I thought about buying something sweet but I was to cheap to spend the money and in the heart I could not justify the calories. So I came house without anything. When I got home I decide to trim up the yard so I did that for 2 hours. I must say I feel really really good. Since my husband's operation he does not have the energy to do very much outside. He sleeps all the time. Tomorrow he goes back to work 1/2 days for right now. I really hope it works out. The state of Pennsylvania is requiring him to take his driver's test again. Whenever you have brain surgery the doctor is required to report it to the DMV. He has taken it 3 times already and has failed each time. His short term memory is just not there yet. He has never had any trouble in the pass taking tests. I hope he passes because he works about 30 miles from home.

I think diet wise I did not do to bad today. I go back to TOPS on Wednesday. I will probably will have gain but I am working on getting it back down

Breakfast:
1c cereal
8oz. milk
17 grapes

Lunch:
2oz. turkey
2c lettuce
1/4 cumcumber
3 radishes
1tomato
2 tbs. ranch dressing
1 granola bar
12 small strawberries
1 12oz diet pepsi
water

Dinner:
1c cabbage
1 chicken Kabob with green peppers and onions ( I think I had to much chicken)
2 slice of bread
1c coleslaw
water

I just wanted to stop by and say "hi" :wave: and also to tell you my thoughts and prayers are with you and your hubby :cross:

You sure have a lot to handle - I hope for your own stress level you can keep coming here to post - I know how very much it helps me :)

Wishing you a blessed week ! :D

Beth :dance:

:) I just came back as well, I hope TOPS works for you. I was a member off and on for about 20 years, too much social hour and backstabbing for my tastes. I finally broke down and went back to WW 3 weeks ago.
I hope your husband passes his driving test! What an accomplishment, to be going back to work even for 4 hours a day.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Pat

Well My husband did not pass his driver's test again. They are going to let him take it 2 more times. He said he is going to pass it the next time. He said the examiner knew his name. He said Margaret now isn't that something.

His acting supervisor told him not to take of work tomorrow because they are getting a cake to celebrate his return to work. He was totally surprise about that. He can take up to 300 more hours this year plus he has 5 weeks vacation time coming this year. Thats the government for you. But he would not take off now anyway.

Beth and Pat I want to thank you both for your prayers. I am strong believer in prayer. It really changes things. I am so glad my husband is doing better now and can do things for himself. That is a blessing.

Today at work I am training a new guy for my the machine I am running. They hired him off the street because no one would sign the posting. I do not know what is going on because we really don't have the work for them to be training people. I have been off 6 or 7 weeks this year already. When I get to 10 weeks I will lose 1 week vacation for next year. I did that last year for this year. Back in March the company ask the employees to take a 7 1/2 cut in pay and benefits. Well 114 voted against it and 91 voted for it. I think they would had more people voting for it if they would run the place better. I wish they would off "early outs". I think I would take it. I use to be concern about what happens there but I can't anymore. Everything is so unfair.

My diet did not go to bad today. I drank a lot of water and ate light. Tonight I through
out all my old food that I have had for a while. I had three trash bags. Now I can buy fresh stuff for my program.

I did not get any exercise today because I hurt all over because I did large medical books today that weighed about 5lbs each. I did about 500 of them. I had the clock set for 5:00 a.m. this morning but did not get up until 5:50 a.m. Maybe I will do the treadmill in the morning.

Breakfast:
1c. Kashi cereal
8oz. milk
17 grape

Lunch:
1 bag of cheetoes
12oz. diet pepsi
small salad
1 1/2c of iceberg lettuce
1 tomato
2oz Healthy Choice turkey breast
1/4 cucumber
2tbs. Hidden Valley ranch dressing

Dinner:
1 chicken leg quarter( I know this was to much chicken)
1/2 head of cauliflower
2 sl. bread
water

I go to TOPS to tomorrow to face the scale and I know it will not be good. Vacations or lay off just kills me.

It is going on 12:00 a.m. and I still have clothes to hang up on the line. I am going to do that. I hope to come back again tomorrow.

Tonight is my TOPS meeting. I am going to face the music. I think I have a gain. I will do better next week. I will report the results tonight or tomorrow. It would be a blessing if I did not gain.

Today at work the guy I was training decided that he could not do the job. So my supervisor went an talk to personnel and they gave him another job at a low rate of pay. I said that he is blind in his right eye and he would not be able to thread the needles. I am so glad that they found him something else to do. I also think the job was to much for him.

Breakfast:
1c cereal
8oz milk
1 apple
water

Lunch
med. salad
1 tomato
4 radishes
1/4c of cheese
1 red beet egg
1/4 cucumber
3 small beets
1/2 c cauliflower
30g of cheese nips
17 grapes
pepsi
water

Dinner:
5oz steak
3oz oven fries
cooked cauliflower
water

Thing to do:
Put clean linen on bed
wash dishes
straighten bedroom


[B]I am taking one moment at a time and excepting the best

I have not posted since June in my journal because it has been very hectic here at my house. Well my husband had a heart attack about 2 weeks ago. He is doing better now. He still does not have a lot of energy but I am told by a friend who had the same thing that it takes a long while. When things like this happens it sends me in a tail spin. We were going to Virginia Beach but we are going to New York City on Saturday and I think that would have been to much. I am so thankful that we did the travelling when we did because the way it looks now our travelling days will not be for a while. I wanted to go to Maui for a couple of days but he did not want to go. My husband and I have been in every state up and down the East Coast. Before he got sick we were going to start working on the West Coast. I love travelling.

My eating is not on track this week but I think I will be on track next because I will be back to work. I have to get off this ice cream kick. I think I am almost there. Last night I got my Tops big book out to get a plan going. In September my girlfriend in New York has invited me and my husband to her niece's wedding in Philadelphia(I know the whole family very well). I will use this as an incentive to get me going on the right track.

This being laid off all the time is getting very old. I am not a person to stay home and not work. This pass two weeks have been good because of mowing the grass. My husband showed me how to use the riding mower. I was walking it with push mower. I think I did a good job but my husband said I did "ok" for my first time. I am going to try and learn all the equipment we have because you never know when I will have to use them. My neighbors offered to do it for me but I hate to bother people if I can do it myself.

My meal plan for the day.

Breakfast:
1c cereal
8oz. milk
1/4 cantaloupe
small link of turkey sausage
Water

no lunch (out looking for a job)

Dinner:
1 chicken quarter
1c of squash
small garden salad
water

Tomorrow I am going to a "Pot Luck" dinner at church. The Minister of Education is retiring and I want to be there for her.

Everyone have a great day.

Today was not a good day for dieting. We went to New York for the day. It was very interesting. WE spent the day at Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. If anyone here ever get the chance to get to New York they must go to both Islands. This was a bus trip with my husband's job. When we usually go to New York we spend alot of money. I cannot believe I came back with most of my money in my pocket. I have a friend there we called and she has lived in New York for over 40 years. She said she has never been to the Statue of Liberty. I can believe that. When I lived in Washington, D.C. I never went sightseeing until someone came in town and wanted to go. Here is another wonderful place to visit.

Today was hard on my husband because of all the walking. I know where he will be tomorrow. Down here on the sofa sleeping all day. The two operation he has had this year has played havoc on him. He still does not have any energy and his short term memory is not always there. But I thank God that he is still among the living. It did do him some good to get out for the day. He is going back to New York in a couple of weeks to see the Yankee's play. He is going with a friend. I can't believe how wonderful people have been to him. He is a walking miracle.

I am back to work on Monday and I am not looking forward to it. I have been two weeks and it is hard to go back. But this will be good for my diet. I was looking for a new job but my husband said I should stick it out until retirement which is 5 years from now. If something come along and I think it is good I will take it. Most places here want you to work for nothing.

Well it is almost 2:30 a.m. so I may go to church so I better go to bed. Everyone have a great day and God Bless each and everyone of you.

Alampkin