I am starting this journal as a way of keeping track of what I eat, how I exercise, and follow my weight all the way to goal. I have started walking a mile daily for the last 2 months after my doctor had me checked out up one side and down another. I had gone in complaining of increased breathing trouble. I am 100+ over weight, family history of heart trouble, diabetes, and Cancer. So, I have had full heart workup-all the way through the heart cath, found out I still have clean arteries, thank goodness. The lung workup was also a good bill of health. Decided with the doc that I am severely de conditioned, so starting slow meant walk. I have adopted a dog (rescued from a shelter after 3 months of waiting for his turn on the kill list) We have gradually worked up to a mile daily, and while it doesn't sound like much, I can walk it at a brisk pace without getting winded. That is a big improvement. Starting today we will increase it to twice a day. I have a gazelle that I was using daily, will start back to daily as of today.

I started posting in the 100+ because I am on school break, class starts again Tuesday, and my posting time will be limited, so I will keep my journal going even if no time for other posts.

Okay. Breakfast today: Garden omelet-two eggs, one zuchini, 1/2 yellow squash, 1/4 green pepper, one tbsp. onion, 4 mushrooms sliced, one slice mozzarella cheese. One half bagel. No potato . Calorie count equals= 585.
I'm aiming for 1400 calories or less, more veggies, less starch, so I will have a lighter lunch or an early large dinner-large on veggies, small on the main course which is chicken and dumplings ( had already prepared it before deciding that it was time.)
I will post the meals and exercises daily, and hopefully the weight will show a decrease along the way.Finances are an issue, and so I have to wait till payday to restock my fridge and cabinets. Fruits and healthier main dishes will be added after payday.

you've proven today you can also be an inspiration. I needed to read your post and I am glad I did. I needed to read a positive affirmation you did that. Thank you and keep it up. :super:

Its always great when you get the inspiration. But one thing is if you are planning on having 1400 - a day, having an almost 600 calories breakfast mihgt make that very difficult. In orrder to really keep that metabolism roaring you should be eating more meals, but making them smaller. So for example have the omelette for breakfast and then a couple hours later having the bagel. Also if you are going to eat eggs and omlettes, egg beaters are definately the way to go, no fat, half the calories. Good luck and I hope to hear great things about your --and your dog's-- journey.

Hi Adrienne! When I saw your journal title, I knew I had to come in to see another person who was on a journey to discover a fitter, healthier, and happier self. Health is a wonderful motivator. I was amazed at how similar our backgrounds are. I have lost a total of 100 pounds (although I'm playing around a bit with some regained weight) and I know if I can do it others can too. It's challenging, and it's not always easy but it's oh so worth it. I think you are starting out just right. You will learn as you go where you need to adjust, what works, what doesn't. I may not always be able to post in your journal, but I would like to follow your progress. Enjoy the trip! Sue

Thank you for the replies folks! Sue, you are probablyone of those I have met in earlier attempts here. I look forward to seeing you and joining the 100 lbs lost club.
Elsie, you are right, I had not counted until after I ate. I made up for it at lunch though. Instead of that sandwich I had sliced cukes in fat free ranch dressing and a total of 300 calories. Today I will do better planning.
Jojo, it's hard to think of myself as an inspiration in weight loss, but I appre iate the kind words. I have had those negative days also, but not right now. I am determined that this time will be the time .

Okay, yesterdays total calories were 1530, did not hit my mark, but it was a darn site better than a couple thousand calories. Will do better today.
Exercise yesterday: did not make 2 miles, did make 1 and 1/2, that's farther than I've gone in a long time, so that is a positive. I may not hit every goal right on the mark, but the effort is there, and every step forward is a good step. In addition, I spent an hour hoeing my veggie garden. Actually made it an exercise by holding in my stomach and switching sides -so many to the right, so many to the left. /Glad no one knew what I was doing, they would think me insane!

Today will cut back on breakfast calories, but my SO is expecting a big Sunday brunch. I may cut my portion in half to allow my calories to be better than yesterday.
Dinner will be roast chicken, with sauteed green beans with julienned carrot and squash. I may have some pasta on the side if my calories will allow. I have a Calorieking calorie,carb, and fat counter book that helps to keep track. What a shock when I looked up the chicken and dumplings. My blood pressure is good, but I certainly don't need 1400 gms of sodium! No wonder my ankles swell sometimes.
Well, off to walk the dog my first mile of the day.

Adrienne, you are doing fabulous, you're aware, you're making improvements, and you're working towards progress not perfection. That's the ticket.

Thanks Sue, I love the reinforcement that you have given me. <otivation!!

Okay, breakfast done, and I held it to 400 calories! Not sure yet what I'll do for lunch, but I will also keep it in check.

Walked the mile, but it is hotter than hades out there today. Not so much the temp (near 90) but I swear the humidity is over 100%! Even my poor dog was dragging on the return leg. Won't do the second walk until near sundown.

Gardening will be abit easier today, too hot to get myself in trouble. I found a mimosa tree growing wild in the ditch while on my walk, so I plan to dig it up and replant it in my front yard. It is small enough to dig up if I leave six inches of dirt and roots around it.

I have not told anyone I am once again trying to loose weight, just doing it. If I tell then everyone watches, or tries to sabatage. I will simply see at what point people begin to notice the weight loss.

Sometimes I think it is better to not tell people. Because you know what you are doing adn you dont need the babysitters --thats what we are here for--, I know sometimes my boyfriend will say "is that part of your diet?" and it drives me crazy. I know how much I can and cant eat and he doesnt. So just lose the weight and let people tell you how great you look.

I totally agree. Sometimes it is just loads better to keep it to yourself (and to the people here ;) My friends know that I am just eating better. The people at work get to hear all about it though, but they are separate from my 'home life' so it doesn't really count.

~K

Thanks elsie and Kelsey. I guess I'm not the only one that has had the loved ones say they will support the weight loss and then either push the wrong food or become the food wardens,lol.
At the moment my SO and I are barely speaking, because there has been a problem with physical intimacy. I think my weight has become a turn off for him, he says he is under a lot of pressure and has put this on the back burner since he can't relax.Yet he takes the time to offer me ice cream (vanilla fudge no less) I said no thanks honey, and he went off to the shower, then to bed.
I colored my hair yesterday (a lovely dark auburn called Sangria-no more salt and pepper faded hair for me) and have begun wearing makeup again. I got dressed this morning and found that my clothes are loose, joy joy. :D So, came to work and got on the scale-2 pounds down since Thursday! No one is going to get in my way of weight loss, no one.

This journal is an accounting of my food and exercise, and I forgot to enter yesterdays totals!
Okay, I kept the calorie count down-1350 for the day, three cheers!
:cheers: :cheers: :cheers:

I sometimes have an alcoholic beverage on the weekend, so I allowed for one lite beer, and still made the count. I am proud of me.

Exercise: still just a mile and a half, with some lite gardening.

quote for the day: One must eat to live, not live to eat.
- - - Moliere

you know what also helps me? I update my profile's current weight all the time, that way if I go up I have to post it and everyone can see. the "shame factor" helps me stay in bed and not go up for snacks.

Thanks for the suggestion Kelsey, I have just updated to show the 2 pounds off.

Yesterday- calorie count over my target at 1550! So much for McD's yogurt parfait and Mcmuffin. I have got to plan better. However, still btter than the before last week total would have been.

Frustrating homefront. SO's business is going down the tubes, he is deeply in debt and thankfully does not have any business part in my name. I am concerned that he may completely go off the deep end if this doesn't get better, BUT I can be concerned without eating my way through this. Sooo

Today for breakfast, 375 calories-bagel with diet margarine and diet jelly.
Lunch, nearly nothing- Sliced cucumbers & tomatoes in vinegrette with oregano and basil, salt and pepper and a cup of chicken broth.

Dinner, will do take out, so I have to check the calorie counter and see what I can have without blowing my target again. Actually, I have some lean cuisine at home, but I don't htink that will work for the two of us, I like to use them for lunch at the office if I remember to bring them.

I like your new attitude. Wearing make-up, doing your hair, and dressing nice all helps you with your self esteem. If you have a better self esteem, you bcome much more desireable, and you might see him --or others paying more attention to you--. You have to perfect the smile that says "I hyave a naughty secret" and waslk around with it all the time. Its amazing how well it works.

Congrsts on your loss, your clothes will continue to get looser, and soon they will just fall off... and there will be no lack of intimacy :)

Adrienne, I really do love your attitude and your lost weight and new way of doing things is reflecting that attitude. Good for you! Sue

I have not told anyone I am once again trying to loose weight, just doing it. If I tell then everyone watches, or tries to sabatage. I will simply see at what point people begin to notice the weight loss.

Not to use that as an excuse for myself ... but that is a reason that my many attempts to get healthy have failed .... it makes me feel like my friends and family want me to be fat ....

....anyhow .... GOOD LUCK WITH your weight loss .... I am sure you can do it!!!

if you ever need anything let me know!

... I am new here too and I am trying to get support because I don't have anybody else to really lean on ... none of my friends or female family members are overweight .....
....its good to be able to talk to people who are trying to lose ...... I am glad there are people who know what types of situations I have faced ...

anyhow ... see ya around! DON'T GIVE UP! :)

Good morning dear journal and friends
Thank you for your comments Sad Panda. You are definately in the right place, plenty of support here! It is very hard to get support from those who do not know what this journey is like. Hang in there, you can do this too!:welcome:

Thank you also Sue and Elsie. This journey to me is very real, and somewhere out there (or in here) is the me I used to look like, and I hope that I will find the new real me in attitude and personality. I do so want to like all of me!


Did great yesterday on the food intake. Breakfast+ went to fast food drive in window, ordered a burrito and apple dips. The new trainee screwed u from the time I ordered. There was no welcome to... may I take your order? Just Hello! Well??!! So instead of leaving, which I wanted to do, I gave her my order, drove around, paid her. Next window please. Got my order and took it to work. Yikes! It was a sausage biscuit, greasy and buttery all at once. I did get my apple slices. Soooo, I ate the blasted thing and managed to keep the calories count reasonable anyway. For Lunch I went to our local market near the office where they have a salad bar. I made a lovely spinach salad with mushrooms, crumbled egg and feta cheese, no dressing, and a couple tbs. of fresh fruit (grapes, strawberries, melons). Dinner was a home made(by me) chicken breast with sauteed garden veggies, mushrooms, and cheese. Total for the day?1300 calories. Yeah!!
Exercise was not so good, it was so hot when I got home, and both the dog and I petered out at 3/4 mile. It was hard to breathe from the high humidity and 90 degrees temp.
This morning Rockie and I made our mile before I left for work. Unfortunately my secretary brought in cheese danish and bagels. I did eat, then counted cals, already had 1/2 of the days allottment. That's okay though, I can fix! I have garden cucumbers and tomatoes that I brought in, will make a vinagrette, and maybe add a pice of chichken from the salad bar, plus a piece of fruit. That will leave me enough for dinner, no sweat.

Class started again Tuesday night, and I have already had to do two essays. I have one more to go, plus critique the essays of my fellow student, plus write a paper by Sunday. I can do this, I can do this!

You van always fxx it, and its better to have all those calories in the morning.

Totally understand not wanting to tell anyone. I was already dieting and exercising before I told my DH. And when I did tell him it was like this.. "I really didn't want to say anything to you but ... I am trying to eat better and lose weight..." and within MINUTES, LITERALLY, I regreted telling him. He is NOT a good support. He makes me want to eat!!! SO I am just not talking to him about it at all.

THANK GOD FOR DT!!!!

Ditto!! I absolutely know what you are saying Diz. What is it that makes them behave this way? Mine wants me to "be healthy" and yet when he knows I am "dieting" goes out of his way to bring me things I should not eat to "make me happy" Sheesh!

Elsie, you are so wise, I will remember that, better in the morning! Thanks :)

Dinner last night, spaghettit(oops) but, I had aonly one serving. I had simmered garden green beans, zuchini, and carrots on the side with only a half a slice of garlic bread. This is a big change for me, I normally would have started with a triple serving and gone on for seconds. In fact, I felt uncomfortable after having the single serving. Of course, I had meatball and sausage with it, but even that was much less than BDT(before diettalk).
I am learning, and I am moving forward.

Spaghetti is allowed, usually I cook it with whole wheat pasta. But truthfully everything for me is allowed, in moderation. One thing we have to remember about our significant others is they do want what is best for us... however many of them are afraid of change. Their own insecurities don't want us to be thin, because then maybe we will go out and find someone else. I have been lucky, because I ad a talk with my boyfriend. I asked him to come up with something that he will reward me with when I reach my goal, and he did. I told him that is how he can support me, he thought he had been supportive. When I asked him how he was supportive, he couldnt answer the question. Now he is much better, he always reads labels when we go grocery shopping, adn he actually eats a bit better now, even though he doesnt need to lose weight.

Hi Elsie. I guess my oops with spaghetti is a holdover from the
Atkins days, also I had had so many calories earlier in the day, BUT I did do better yesterday.

Fridays at the office are chinese take out days. I checked out the menu against my calorie and fat counter and found that I could have the hot and sour soup and also steamed chicken and veggies with the sauce on the side for dipping. I enjoyed it, there was an awful lot of leftover sauce that I would have otherwise eaten if I hadn't been just dipping in, and I didn't have any rice. I felt so full without the rice that I didn't miss it. Breakfast was french toast sticks with sauce to dip only. Dinner last night was leftover pasta, one srerving, and zuchini slices sauteed in olive oil. My calories were under 1400!(not much, but I felt good about it.)

Today I had one egg poached on a half serving of hash, my SO had his whole serving and the other half of mine. He is underweight and does heavy manual labor when he is doing contracting. We went to the garden to week, but the temperature index here is over 100 with the humidity about the same. So I took a quart of water, with ice out with me, took frequent breaks in the shade with the ice water, and weeed two of my beds. I picked more squash, its coming out of my ears! I will slice and freeeze some, make zuchini bread to take to work and give away, carry some to the office and leave some for my insurance lady (I promised her some produce and boy, will she get some!)

Good luck with your healthier eating. I think its a good idea also not to tell everyone that you are dieting. A lot of people think you can only eat salad and chicken to loose weight, so they watch every thing you eat. I hate that!! Just stick with it and let the pounds fall off. Your hard work will speak for itself. Good luck!!!! Amy

Ok, all of my close friends know that I am dieting. Yesterday we went out to dinner with me and three other girls, one needs to lose weight fast for cheerleading in college, (20 pounds?) The other is very into being thin and only eats healthy, I (duh) need to lose like 50 pounds, more than any other person there, and then my other friend who needs to lose like 40 maybe. We all ordered salads, she got a burger, with fries, and a milkshake. I don't think that I am ever going out to eat with her again. She makes me gain weight! I'm not actually kidding.

That same friends told random strangers that I was dieting in a very loud voice after I mentioned that I was hungry and that peanut butter sounded oh so good. Her comment was like "ha ha, you only have weird food cravings when you are on a diet, remember atkins last summer, when you were also on a diet?" I was sort of mad, seeing as how the stranger was a cute boy who I was getting along with pretty well. Oh well, she's probably just acting weird because she knows that she should be on a diet too but doesn't want to start one so I'll forgive her.

So yeah, sabotage, not so good. My other friend totally stopped me from eating chocolate too, which was great, lol.

Anyways, good luck, remember that not everyone will support you and that sometimes casual friends are better support than the closest and that you have all of us!

~K

Well, just weighed in and 2 more pounds gone! Very glad to be doing so well!:1stprize:
Thanks for the encouragement Amy
Kelsey, I so totally understand what happened! I have a mom, my trigger, who tells me that I should lose weight, or is glad I am on a diet, and then says here, have a piece, this won't hurt! Or else says that I am not eating enough for my appetite. Sheesh. And these are supposed to be our supporters. I think your friend is #1 acting out of guilt that she is not dieting, and #2, maybe was interested in the cute guy for herself. Friends like that, well you know! Keep hanging out here, we'll all be here for you!

Well, some things just go right, other times we just get lucky. Did my mile this morning. Rockie and I are getting pretty good at this. Spent several hours yesterday in the garden, but had to take it a little at a time with the heat. After sundown went out with th push mower and cut around the house and garden, My SO complained about the heat and rode the riding mower for the rest of the 1.8 acres. That's okay, I need the workout, not him,lol. Anyway, watched for dehydration, this is definately allowing me to get in a half gallon of water and then some, whew!

Made a turkey breast yesterday for dinner, added fresh green beans and white potatoes and a cucumber tomato vinagraitte salad. Came in the 1400 mark.

Today, oatmeal(flavored) for breakfast. Lunch was on a drug rep, we had Panero sandwich (I picked chicken salad). Did not eat chips, did eat cookie. That's okay, I looked it up and counted it. Dinner, leftover turdey breast, squash and tomato casserole (pretty good, recipe out of my light cooking book) and green beans. Calorie count 1450, 50 over my limit. It had to be the cookie, but that's okay, I can make it up, no sweat! Or rather with a lot of sweat,lol.

Frustrating physical challenge: Used to be a hula hoop champ as a kid. I bought one at WalMart and I can not keep it going. Heck, can not even get it spinning! Now, if I keep working at it, will I finally get it going?
Will it come back like riding a bike? How many calories does one burn using a hula hoop anyway?

Congrats on the 2 pounds! Keep hula-ing

Way to go on the 2 pound loss!!!!

Hula Hooping is like riding a bike. I should pick up a hula hoop!!! I miss those days! :laugh:

Thanks elsie and Diz! I really appreciate the support. So far I think I'nm right on track, but it sure is nice to have you guys tell me so! I must say that the hula hoop thing is stuck in my craw, I will figure it out, I will! :mus:

Okay, I am getting readied for surgery, they found a "cold nodule" on my thyroid, and the surgeon keeps throwing around things like "never lost a patient to thyroid cancer yet." sheesh. Anyway, surgery is next week, and I half hpe to find that that is what is driving my weight gains and appetite. I also know better, The only thing driving my weight gains is hand to mouth disease, which I am curing myself of. Or maybe its like being an alcoholic or drug adict, once an addict, always an addict. I can put myself in remission. loose the weight, but will always have to guard against bad habits and regaining. I've learned that after years of being a yo yo.

Anyway, surgery is now 9 days away, got home last night and SO was being an idiot about his needs and I just lost it. I told him where I was coming from and what I needed and told him to just go away, so he went to bed while I cleaned and got the house ready for our appraisal today (I am refinancing in order to get rid of bills and be able to manage mortgage payments on my own if necessary) I love being in a position where I do not have to depend on anyone but myself. :super:

The good news is I did not blow my new calorie concious lifestyle over this, and will continue to follow my plan.

You are being a really strong woman! .... sounds like you are keeping things together ... you should be VERY proud of yourself !!!
WAY TO GO!

Hi Adrienne. I see you're continuing to really do well, even with your impending surgery and the other issues going on right now. You’re a smart girl and you obviously will go after and get everything you want. I’ll be thinking of you and trusting that all goes well with the surgery. Sue

Hand to mouth disease is definately curable. And the best part is no drugs or surgery required. You are proving that. I am sure it will be great to be financially free to get rid of SO if necessary. I havent had that in a couple of years, and though I havent --truly-- wanted to, well recently, it still is always on ym mind that I couldnt.

keep up the good work

It does feel great to not be dependent upon someone. I learned from my mother's mistakes. I own my own business and am very successful. I will never be "stuck" because I cannot afford to be alone. More power to you!!!!

Thank you all for all the well wishes, it is so good to feel the positive reinforcement.

Well, surgery is over with and I sailed through, I think. I am now one week post op, and resumed my walking this morning. I have stristrips across my throat, but the scar will hide in the fold of my neck. If I ever get vain enough to have my neck lifted (my family gets a wattle, like a turkey neck) the scar will be removed to, :laugh:

Stress has not decreased at home. I am past being the understanding, sympathetic, passive soul mate. This guy, that I have spent more than 10 years with, is strictly out for himself. He has kept score of everything he has ever purchased or done for me and the home, but somehow the things that I have done, including giving holiday gifts and birthday gifts with none in return most years, do not count. I offered to let him out, and so far he has not taken me up on the offer, probably because he has no place to go where he would have to contribute so little for so much in return. I am okay, just surprised that this **** is going on when I am supposed to be recouperating forom surgery. Okay A, deep breath and get on with it. Thanks for letting me vent.

I am now on a low dose of thyroid medication, and I hope that I will better be able to control my appetite, but no magic pill out there, so I am planning my day's food. Breakfast will be a veggie omelet, my garden is really producing! It will have peppers, onlions, zuchini, and tomato slices on top of the omelet. 1/2 a grapefruit.

Lunch will be leftover chicken breast and garden salad. One apple.

Dinner will be rotisseried lemon chicken, steamed carrots from the garden, one serving of rice, and a side salad of cucumber, onion, tomato maronated in a vinegrette.

Every day is indeed a new one. I slept well last night, even thouh I still am elevated on several pillows, the surgeon doesn't want me flat until al the swelling in my throat is gone. Takes some getting used to, I have slept on my stomach for as long as I can remember.
Stuck to yesterdays meal plan. Starting on today's
Breakfast=garden omelet
yogurt ( had a bit of a problem from strong antibiotics, need the cultures
to fix)
lunch=bagel with cheese and tomato
slice of watermelon (another garden bonus this year)
dinner=leftover chicken, green beans, garden veggies vinegrette
One thing I need to check is ice pops. I've been using them to soothe my irritated throat, and I guess I'm doing about two whole ones a day, half at a time. I will be able to go to the store in the morning, and will pick up some frozen fruit sticks inplace of the sugary pops, but I am using them until then.
All quiet on the home front, will walk in just a bit. I think I feel good enough to start using my Gazelle again as well, that should help burn off some of this recouperating stuff.

Leave it to me, I took the dog out this morning, put him on his walker with the intent of coming in to get dressed and then taking him on our walk when blam! I fell by stepping in to a hoe he had dug. Landed on my bad knee, the one that already had surgery for a torn meniscus. I think I shook something loose again. I lay there with tears in my eyes for a minute, Rockie kept licking my face and whining . Then my SO came out, found me, lifted me up and helped me in. No walking today, spent the day with ice packs on the knee every 30 minutes or so. :sigh:

Breakfast was an omelet with ham and peppers.
Lunch chicken salad. Finally finished that bird off.
Dinner will be one pork chop, cabbage, salad, 1/2 cup pasta primavera.
Today have not had ice pop, but did check- they were only 40 cals each, so with 4 a day for a week that came to 160 extra cals daily. I guess for a post op recovery it's not too bad. I'm off to make dinner, then ice down again.
I have decided that I will be using the tiller in the yard as soon as I can to chop up the yard and get rid of the holes. The dog has a 60 square foot section for his fenced in area, and he can dig inside there, but if I'm going to be walking around, I need to get rid of any holes I might be stepping in.

Walking the mile daily now. Knee is okay, the ice made the difference. Eating on track again as well. Oh, and home front smooth again. Honestly, I will never figure out what triggers men to act like idiots, but I am delighted that this episode has passed.

Breakfast: 1/2 bagel, two strips turkey bacon, one slice muenster cheese. 1/2 grapefruit.

Lunch: 1 lite peach yogurt. 1/2 bagel with 1 Tbs. peanut butter, 1/2 tsp allfruit.

Dinner: will be spaghetti. I will make meatballs, sauce will be tomato,pepper, mushrooms,& onions in jar of Sockarooni sauce. I'll watch my portion of both the sauce and spaghetti. Will have a garden salad on the side, and garden watermelon for desert.

Have not been exercising as much as I need to. That must change immediately. I am getting lazy, and that is self defeating. So, its off to the gazelle today, will do the full 20 minutes. I will strive to do this daily for a bit, since after a layup like this I am not as forceful on the machine as I will be when I get my stamina up.
Interesting development. For some time I have been suffering from obstructive sleep apnea, and since the thyroid tumor has been removed my SO says I no longer snore. I am so glad! In addition, I would feel like I was strangling when we would, well, get familiar. Anyway, we got familiar early a.m. today and no choking for air. It's great!
I am on synthroid for life now. Surgeon said that if I stay on it, the pievce of thyroid he left in will not grow a tumor, but if I come off it has a good chance of doing just that. So, I take my pill every day. Maybe this will help my weight loss effort as well.

Breakfast today: surprise, veggie omelet.one slice bacon. No potato, no bread.
Lunch : a ham sandwich with lettuce, tomato. watermelon.
Dinner: Roast beef, steamed carrots, baby cabbages (look like big brussel sprouts)
scoop of mashed potato, and a small salad.

More tomorrow.
Adrienne