Ok I came here a while back a had a journal going but didn't stick to it. So here I am again. I want to lose this weight and I am back to trying again, again. I just feel like I have so much stress in my life all the time so I am trying to lift some of it off but it's hard to do. So from now on I am going to start posting what I eat and my cals to see if I can see what I do wrong and what I do right plus it might make me watch what I eat knowing I am going to post it. Also what I do for exercise. So tomorrow I will start all that. Till tomorrow......

Yesterday I didn't get to get here like I said I would so I guess I need to rewrite that I will try to get here everyday. I do want to commit to this. But there are someday I just wont get here so I am going to write in a note book what I do eat so that way I stay focused.

Cals are 1236.5
Fats are 17.4

Has anyone ever tried the GI diet? If so how did you like it?

Hi, Tannie.

Posting your eating and exercise in a journal is a great way to keep yourself focused on what you are wanting to accomplish.

As for the GI diet, no, I am not following it. I follow the exchange program. But I have in my head a certain amount of information regarding the Glycemic Index, and I think this is something important to know.

Come and post as often as you can, and we encourage you on your weight-loss journey.

Keep smiling -

Forgot I exercise just a bit I lifted weights and did some leg exercises. I have a hard time with exercise. I do some but not everyday but I hope as I lose some of this weight I will feel more like doing it. I was at one time not to long ago at 125 and I felt so good I had energy to do active things all the time now I just feel tired alot. So I know there is no way I am going to give up this time. So once I lose some of this weight I hope my energy comes back.

Today went well . I had 1249 for cals and 19 fats. I didn't get to exercise but mostly because I am sore today from lifting weights yesterday so tonight I am resting but tomorrow I will do something.

It's sunday morning and it quite in my house and I am off to a good start today with my diet. But yesterday was a bust. My DBF was here and he likes to eat so because he works so many hours all week he likes to make up for what he didn't eat all week. So we ate out twice yesterday. At lunch it was taco bell and supper was this pasta place that is so good. And so I ate to but I am back on the wagon today. I will not beat myself up because I know it doesn't do any good. All thought I did exercise I lifted weights. I am going to try to do something different (cardio) everyday but stick to lifting weights every other day. I know I won't exercise every day only because I know me. But thats another thing I am not going to be hard on myself about because I have been in the past and because I feel like I have failed I stop doing it for a long time. So this time around I am going to do what feels right. I keep telling myself I am in no race. Because the only one at the start line is me. But I am sticking to losing this weight. So with all that said off to a good day.

Ok came back to write because I am kind of feel sluggish this afternoon. I have been on the go cleaning and now need to get motivated again so I can do more. To me house cleaning is like dieting it never stops. I read earlier to day on of the threaded and it had a web site for a virtual model and I went and tried it I just am not sure what my body style is. Even though it was kind of fun to do. Ok need to get off here this isn't getting the house work done or even motivating me.

YESTERDAY DIDN'T GET TO COME WRITE BECAUSE i WENT SHOPPING FOR MY SON'S SCHOOL CLOTHS. What a long evening if anyone thinks boys are easy to dress you don't have a son like mine. He keeps telling me thats not cool. Like at 12 they know cool.

Well anyway I am not doing so hot on my diet. I weight in tomorrow and I am sure I haven't lost anything. How can 16lbs be so hard to lose. In my heart I want to lose this weight so much but I know I don't have the mind set it takes. Thing is I can't figure out why. I think thats way I come here and write to maybe come up with something. Tonight I just feel like crying because I feel like I have the weight of the world on my back. After 6 years of being separated from my husband I filed for divorce and today I find he is going bankrupted and I have no idea what that means for me. We haven't lived together for 6 years and I have no idea what he has or doesn't have. Ok sad story but still doesn't give any idea about why I can't lose this weight.

It's like something is stuck there in my head about this weight but I can't figure it out. Like why do I hold on to it. I go from losing it to gaining it to losing it back to gaining it. Last summer I was down to 125 but before I knew it I was back to 145 why I don't know. I love good food but also love junk food. No I don't eat when I feel bad or happy I just get bored so I eat. It's like it fills in that boring time. I can go for a walk, a bike ride or read or anything to fill my time but it's like my mind isn't satisfied it wants more. So I eat. So what am I lacking?

Ok here it is almost 3 days since I have been here and have done terrible. I have done nothing but eat. I ate so much today I feel sick and will end up gaining the weight back I have lost. Why can't I stop this yo- yo eating? I just don't understand why this is so hard I feel so bad about myself and yet I can't stop. It's like I need to figure out why I am like this before I become a balloon again. I don't know why I am so unhappy I just can get out of this rut.

Up again eating a good breakfast of fiber cereal and promising myself I will keep track of my cals today and I am really going to do it. I have been reading around on the web trying to come up with the anwer to as how many cals I should have to bet to my goal weight and to me no matter were you look it's all different and really confusing. So I am going to give it a shot of eating 1350 cals a day. because I feel that when I try to stick to a 1200 hundred cals a day I end up over eating at some point. So I am thinking maybe thats to low. I just wish there was one site that was so very sure of everything on dieting so you could go to it and feel comfortable with what you read. I think the web is a great place to get info but sometimes there is just to much of it and it becomes confusing.

Today I kept track of my cals and fat at fitday.com. In one way it was a suprise of sorts. I had 1570 for cals and fats are 36 and carbs are 252. I know now that I really do need to keep track of my food intake everyday. I think I will go take a walk and see what fitday says about that for excrise.

Sometimes the web complicates things with the super abundance of info. I think anywhere between 1200-1500 is good, it also depends on how active you are. Just dont get bent out of shape on the days you go over. We all do it, it is part of life, no one can eat 1300 calories every day forever --well they can but they have eating disorders--. I think you are on the right track, but the most important thing is just to get up and move your butt.

today was a good day but tough because I had this appointment at 1 so I didn't get to eat luch because from my app. I had to run to the MV and talk about waiting I think that place has to be one of the slowest places on earth. Time stands still while you are there :laugh:. Then after there it was off to the grocery store didn't get home till after 5 so it was supper time by then. So I had to make up my cals so I wouldn't be way to low. My cals are 1233 and fat is 13. So I still have room for a light snack tonight if I want it. I think keeping to a 1300 to 1350 cal a day is going to be good. So now I am off to go for a walk to get in my excrise for today

Oh and elsie thanks for stopping by. I know there might be day I go over so I wont let it get to me. Thanks for the input :)

Today was another good day I felt good about things plus my cals are only 1238 and fat 23. The only thing I am finding hard is making sure I eat enough all day because what I eat I think is going to add up to more untill I go to fitday and put in my food intake and from what I see I am going to have to eat more during the day time hours because it seems I am only taking in about 7 hundred between breakfast and lunch. But I will see so far I am not really hungry at night because I allow myself a snack after supper or later. So untill I am sure whats right I will try this for a bit. I really likd fitday it's even kind of fun.

For all of those people who say that they starve on 1200 caories I always want to know what they are eating, because I often can't fit all of them in. Keep up the good work.

Toady was a good day but my cals were a bit high 1605 and fat 54. Because at work we had this meal for someone who has been there for 40 years and you ate what they had perpared. Plus I had 2 cookies which I could have went with out but didn't. So I am a bit hungry tonight because I can't have a snack :c( . Plus on top of that didn't get to excrise because Went for a ride and my car broke down so by the time I got back home it was to late X-( .
Not only that but forgot to weigh myself and today was weigh in day what a day. But all in all it could have been worse :D . But because I am so stuck to losing I know tomorrow I will be back on the band wagon no matter what. :)

Back on track again and all though my cals are good not going to post any thing but this I am just to tired.

Ok now that I am rested and today is a new day I am going to post yesterdays cals and fat with todays

Aug 11
Cals 1227
Fats 18
I had a good day but still no exercise :(


Now Aug 12 So far I have had 1084 cals and 10 fats but I will have a snack later and if I get the chance to post the real total later I will but since I am not sure if I will get back here I am posting now.

Ok hoping I get back here tonight but for now have to go :c(

Ok had my snack and redid my total for the day 1275 cals and fat 13 not a bad day.

I know one thing I need to get in water I just don't drink much or almost none. I hate drinking any at work because I can't always get to the bathroom when I need to because I can't always leave what I am doing so it can get uncomfortable and by the time I get home I just don't think about it. Wish I knew a way to get around it so I would drink more water.

Some thing I found and thought was good because so many of us are in this category,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I was having a discussion with a colleague recently about emotional eating. We were talking about how often we see people confuse physical hunger with emotional hunger. So much of the eating that takes place in people’s lives is emotionally motivated. Food is often misused as a remedy to self-medicate hurt, lonely and angry feelings. Food is also misused as a vehicle for pleasure. The problem arises when, after years of using food to create fleeting moments of pleasure, one establishes a well entrenched, knee-jerk reaction to life that leads directly to emotional eating’s front door. This habitual escape route seduces you into its web each time you are confronted with an emotional issue. And, since we humans all tend to be similar, we are all prone to this behavior.The great 18th century English writer Samuel Johnson noticed this years ago. In October of 1750 he wrote, "We are all prompted by the same motives, all deceived by the same fallacies, all animated by hope, obstructed by danger, entangled by desire and seduced by pleasure." It was true then and it is true now! But what strikes me most about this old quote regarding human behavior is the last three words -- "… seduced by pleasure." This "seduction" is key to why so many people gain weight, claiming that they eat simply because they "just love food."

Today for lunch I had a salad at burger king and wanted to know the cals and fat so just went to there web site and there it was. So tried mcdonalds and taco bell and I am sure I will not be eating a taco bell unless I am having a free day off and thats what I want because there stuff is high, high, high. The other two are not bad as long as you really pick wisely. There salads are really pretty good the only thing I will be sure to do nexts time is go with the fat free honey mustard dressing.

I feel so much more control over my eating this time because now I am really thinking before I just eat.

Today has been a hard day for me I am tried and hungry and not sure why might be PMS though. Plus even though I have been doing everything right I am kind of freaking out because I feel hungry alot but I am thinking maybe it because my body is so use to eating what ever and when ever that it just doesn't like that I wont. I am going to go another week and see how I feel because like I said it just might be PMS.

Well i didn't end up posting my cals yesterday but no big deal I canalways go look in fitday just love the site. Today had a coffee coolatte and went to DD site and found the cals and fat nexts time I will have my daughter make it with skim milk for me there will be less fat and cals.

Cals 1449
Fat 23

I am tired again today darn PMS I hate it. This week I will walk at least 4 or 5 time since I only walk 3 days early in the week.

Toady was a tough day just don't feel like I should. Why does PMS have to hit us so hard ( X-( )? I am so snappy no matter what my son says I just snap poor kid. Well I didn't exercise today but I did clean my car so hopfully that counts a bit. I just have a hard time staying focused when I am PMSing. Even my cals and fat are low.

Cals 1055
Fat 12

Well had 1292 in cals and 21 in fat. I just hope I am doing all of this right or tomorrow I will be real bummed out.

I can't help wishing I would have lost one more pound instead of just the 2 in 2 weeks. It's funny I feel let down because I only lost 2 lbs in 2 weeks even though I know it's good. I also know I might have lost that one more pound if I had gotten off my butt and went for a walk. I really have to make an effort. I also know I am bloated to the high heavens. My eating is kind of a mess today because at lunch I had this Lean Cuisine and it was gross so I didn't eat it. I ended up getting a small salad out of the cafe at work. I didn't want to eat to much because the heart walk was having a ice cream social and I wanted to be able to have one and I did. Tonight I am having rib eye and salad guss it's not real bad but I want to not feel so guilty because of evey thing I do eat once in awhile.

I have this funny idea about losing weight. Even though I know once I get to 125-120 I will look good I still can't help but thinking if only I could really get to 110 then I would be perfect. I really don't know where that idea comes from or even how it got started. Instead of focusing on losing weight I start think that funny though and get feeling down. I know I am doing the right thing just wish I could make my brain and my funny idea think the same way.

Ok Aunt flo has come for her once a month visit and today I am so beat and I hurt every where because of it. I really think I am losing ground on this dieting thing. I want to lose weight but how can I when I am so tried all the time. To get up and move is just tring. I am going to give it a few more days since I have AF here and see how I feel after that if my energy doesn't return I am going to see Doc.

Well lost another pound but no matter because I am feeling down because of things going on in my life and plus went and tried on cloths not a good idea because it put me in more down and I ended up going to McDonalds and ate with my son there goes that pound. That was last night and this morning I can tell I am not feeling any better but hopefully I can get through the day with out blowing it.

Wow what another day can do. Tonight I feel really good even went for a walk and it's been a while since I have done that. I took my son along with me and I even got him and myself running a bit and it even felt good.

I stayed in my cals today I was even a bit low but I feel ok with it for today.

Haven't been here in few days but I am still doing good. I have been excerising since last thursday. What I do is walk for a mile then jog for a mile. Funny thing is I didn't think I could jog really but for some reason I realised why I couldn't before it was because I was trying to go at a too fast pace. But since I have set myself a a slower pace I can jog for a mile with out stopping. I just didn't understand why before I couldn't do it with out my lungs burning and not being able to breath after a few feet. Dud!!!! guess I need to set my own pace and not worry if other think I am not doing it right. I even jogged 1.75 miles today and felt great after. My DBF tells me he can tell I am losing weight even if I can't really tell. But then again I am very hard on myself so I try not to think to much about how I am doing or looking in the mirror because I know I see something different then what others see. I have a bad body image. But I am trying to get past the and it hard because it is a life time thing. Something that started when I was even to young to remeber how it came about.

I have been have a bad day here and there since I started this diet but no matter what I keep telling myself that I am not going to give up no matter what.

Today my daughter started college and I am having a hard time letting her become an adult. I worry so much now that she drives but I know I have to let go so she can grow but no one told me it would be so hard. I still have a son at home but it's different because he is harder then my daughter was he has ADHD and with him it's a struggle. But I love him as much as my daughter I just wish I could enjoy him more but he make it hard at times.

But all is not bad most things are well and I am happy

way to go on the jogging ! :cheer:

They need to create a class for us parents to learn to let go of our kids lol :laugh:

Mine has been gone for quite a while now and has 6 kids - and it still feels empty around here and I still worry a LOT 8-|

Beth :dn

Thanks Beth for stopping by. I do like jogging but for some reason the past few night and tonight I am sore around my rump area it at the top of my back side it's like not being sore from a sore muscle I don't know I can't explain it but it feel uncomfortable. But I am going to keep going and see if it's just because I just started. I do really like how I feel after jogging it's tried and sticky only because I don't sweat much. But it feels good anyway. Plus I like how I am starting to look even after only 6 days. ( with cloths on with out I still hate but hopefully it will get better).

Today was a good day but tonight it was a bit rough because DBF and I were fighting and I hate when we do it makes me feel bad the only thing is when I feel bad I don't want to eat but made myself calm down after doing my excersing and had supper. Me when I get high stressed or feel bad I don't eat. I know we will work it out but I still hate it because I get afraid I will lose him ( old baggage from past relationships ) because he is not like that he and I do have a good relationship. So not only am I trying to lose weight but I am dealing with old hurts. I also have to know that even if something were to happen to our relationship I would be ok. But knowing this doesn't make it hurt any less. So I am growing in many ways ( as long as it's not on the hips then I will be ok).

I am trying to write more about my feelings not only to help in losing weight but to help me see it's ok to have emotions.

This mornig was a very nice weigh in 2 lbs gone or should I say 2 more lbs gone. I think the jogging is really helping at first I wasn't so sure but this to me proves it. Not sure what I am going to do tonight because it's raining here and not to sure I want to get out in it to jog. But who knows (thinking,thinking).

I can't believe I haven't been here since Aug 31. I have been doing so, so, on my diet. For a few days I was a bit depressed and just didn't want to come here. I haven't gained any weight since my last weigh in but didn't lose any either. Unsure as to why I am slacking but I hope this week I will be back full force. Today I promised my son we would get a ice cream so I had a baby cone but that was all that I had that wasn't so good. I also need to get back to fitday. I know some of my problem is adjusting to my daughter no longer being home she is so busy doing her own thing. But I am getting better at it. Plus the big thing for me is I know the cold weather is coming and I hate it. The winter is so hard on me because I just never know what to do with myself. Since I live in the country there isn't much to do unless you ski-doo and I don't and can't even afford one I am stuck in the house. I know I should get a hobby and have been thinking about that but just don't know because it can't cost a lot to do. But I will keep thinking.

Tomorrow is my weight in day I am crossing my fingers that I at least lose 1 pound.

No matter how much I look in the mirror I feel fat. I have this cousin that is tiny and skinny and every time I look at her I want to be her size.I know I never can be because we are not even built the same way plus she has never had kids so nothing on her is out of shape from have them like my body is. I know I need to stop this kind of thinking but what I don't understand is why do I think like this?

When I look at myself all I see is this pudgy belly. I have this tire around my middle mostly there when I sit you really see it. I know I am doing this diet thing right but I still can't help wanting to see faster results.

Well only lost 1/2 a lb not the best or what I was hoping for but it's better then not losing any or oh my gaining. Well I need to go do some shopping to get some vegs because I know that I just don't get enough. So tonight after my walk/run I will take myself and son to the grocery store. A chore I hate. I am also trying to drink more water doing ok better then I once was because before I never drank any and if I have a diet soda it's once in awhile. I am proud of the changes I have made but at times I still feel like I am just not doing enough or doing it fast enough but I know thats just my little bad voice that I have in my head because not only am I changing the way I eat but trying to change the bad voice in my head and that is harder the losing weight.



I am 135.5 only tickers only do whole numbers but hey 135 looks good to

I am glad the weekend is almost here even if I am working on Sunday I still get Saturday.
Today I starting eating more vegs the only thing is my cals are way to low and I don't know what else I should eat and it's almost 6 pm (what to do). Don't have much to say right now so be back later.

I came back after doing a bit of this and that and going to ebay ( just love the site ). Well I have been on this diet since July 27 and I am still going strong even though I have fallen off a time or 2 only to get right back on. I feel good about that. One thing I have had is a bit of a problem with my cousin ( we work together ) and eat lunch together and she drives me crazy because she at times make rude comets about what I eat. She weights about 102 and has no idea what it's like to not be able to eat like she does. Not that she eats all that good plus even skips meals it gets me so mad X-( . I feel like why can't she not say anything if she has nothing nice to say. Sometimes I think she doesn't like the idea that I might lose this weight and I don't know but it's like she doesn't want me to lose it. Well what ever it is I can't wait till I do lose my weight so I can say at least with all my yucky food I look and feel better. Or maybe I will just smile :D and know that I did it anyway my way.

Today has been a rotten day. It has done nothing but rain but even so I got out and walk/ran for my exercise. Even with my bad day I stuck to eating good. I never should have went to look for a pair of jeans at this point in my diet because I still have to much weight to lose to look good in a pair. I have a hard enough time with how I look body wise as it is and with adding the extra weight I felt just plain bad.

Plus I had this little mini goal going on with myself to lose 3 pounds this month and I really don't think I am going to do it since my progress is so slow. Of course I am not sure that I wont hit it. So hopefully I will.

But after that I have decided to set another goal to get to below 130/129 before my b-day which is on Oct 29. It would be so nice to see the scale say 129 on the 29th day of Oct.

I am so out of it today my body hurts and I feel soooo fat. I know I am close to having Aunt Flo come visit and at this time I feel so low and fat and just awful. Yesterday and today have been washouts as far as food wise. Yesterday was my fault but I was really hungry so I ate to many cals but I tried to keep it foods that were not so bad so all was not lost. Today I had this safety thing that was held at a fair ground and they had our food caratered and it was not all that good of food but I had only small amounts. So no matter what it's back to dieting with the right foods tomorrow. I just hope after resting tonight I feel good enough to exerice tomorrow. I feel myself sprilling downward and I need to get refouced. Just not sure how to do that.

Today I feel better because Aunt Flo came to visit and I always feel better when she comes calling. I went for my walk/run and it felt good since I havn't done any since Saturday. I lost another 1/2 lb this week so I am now at 135. I hope with eating and exercising really good I will drop 2 lbs to get to my mini goal of losing 3 lbs this month but if I don't I will work harder nexts month to get to my other mini goal to get to 129 by the 29th of Oct my b-day.

Well now down to 134 and proud even if I didn't hit my mini goal to lose 3 pounds this month which would have put me at 133 but I am ok with where I am. This second mini goal I have is to be down to 129 by Oct 29 which is my b-day so here goes trying. Wish me luck

Tonight I feel so fat and not sure as to why plus I am hungry for some reason. I have a ton of work to do tonight and don't want to do it I am being a slug. I am in a total slump I don't want to do anything and I just hate having to make myself do what I don't want to do.

i don't know what's wrong but I feel so tired and just want to eat. In the last 3 days thats all I have done. So tomorrow it's back to doning whats right. I know I can do this I just feel so down and have no idea why. On the bright side I went for my walk/run tonight. I need to do better on the weekends thats seems to be my down fall. Boyfriend comes around and I just blow the whole weekend. Plus right now I don't have much of anything in the house so it's off to get some food and I hate it. I hate spending time in the stores why I don't know but I do. Unlike many woman who love shopping I hate it no matter what type of shopping it might be.

Well things are not going so good with my diet. I am not sticking to it like I should be and not sure why. For the most part I stick to it during the day but in the evening I don't do so well and I think it's because I am so tired at night. I just could care less what I eat for dinner. This week I am going to really work at doing better by deciding what I am going to have for supper the day before. Hope that works even see if I can't put out most of the stuff I will need so it will be ready when I get home.

I feel yucky because I have done nothing but eat. I don't know why all of a sudden I just want to eat. Well maybe I do know why. It's because I feel like why care nothing is going right in my life. I have nothing to do even thought I try to find things to do. Even now I don't want to write here in this because I feel like what difference will it make. I hope things change because I am going to gain all the weight back I have lost and I was starting to feel good about that but now I can't even find that good feeling anywere. I just hate the long winters they get me down because there is even less to do other then sit in the house. no matter how busy I try to keep myself it doesn't change the fact that there is so little to do.

I haven't been here in bit I guess since the beginning of Oct and yesterday was my 41th B-day and I haven't lost any of the weight I should have by now in stead I have gained about 3 lbs back. I feel really low because I know it's getting cold and I will be stuck inside alot plus a few weeks ago where I work we were told they are closing the place up in 2008 since it is the only place around here that pays good it is going to be hard to find another job to help pay the bills and I am in may ways lucky because I am not one to use my money unwise. But still I will have bills I just have to have to keep a home going. I will lose my job I think sometime in 2007 so I have 6 months to a year to get things in shape. I am trying to sell a few things on ebay to get a bit of extra money so I am not just sitting here feeling sorry for myself but it is scary just the same. I have no other skills and jobs here are mostly low paying. I hope I can go to school to get a degree in something just unsure as to what I want to do. I want it to be something I like but also something that will get me a job where I live.

Ok today I did noting but eat even though I had 2 classes that my work palce offers. 1 was called Powerpoint and the 2nd was Word 2000. They were fun and I did learn a thing or 2. But I think I would need to take more in order to understand it better. I thought the Powerpoint was the best one. I know I need to do something with my weight my eating is out of control all I do is eat junk. I am trying to do something to make some money buy selling stuff on ebay. I have sold a few things ( hope it's ok to say what I am doing on another site ) but I will never make a living out of it. I just feel like I don't know where to start on the whole job thing even though I am trying. Where I work over 1200 people will lose there jobs over the nexts 3 years. So I will out there fighting with 1200+ people for a job and when you are not qualifed to do anything but line work and there is not much of those jobs left around here. So many of our jobs are being shipped over seas. I know there are jobs out there but not any were near to what I make now. Since I am a single mom it makes it even scarier for me. I am not whining just scared.

Well here it is Nov, 18 and I am still gaing weight. I am now back up to 139 as of this morning. For the past week or so I have been sick with this sore throat and coughing till I hurt. I just can't seem to get back on track and now with the holidays approching things will get real hard. Not because I cook or anything it's just like who cares it's a time to eat where ever you go. I know I need to take control but right now I feel so bad I just don't seem to have the energy to do it. I am just so tired of the way my life is but I guess just not tired enough because they say when you are tired enough of something you change it. Hope that happens to me soon.

I am now a member I have wanted to be come one for a while so tonight I did just that. I hope with becoming one it will help me become more interactive with this site. I want to lose my weight but I am having a hard time right now and I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I will go food shopping tomorrow with losing this weight on my mind. It's not that I can't do this I know I can it's just I have to stick to it plus at work they are having what they are calling a project zero for weight loss and I have joined that also it's for 6 weeks starting on Nov 21. So good luck to me.

Thats how much I weight right now as of this morning so I have gained back about half of the weight I lost. Does this suprise me no not at all I have done this for as long as I can remerber. Oh sometimes I lose the weight for longer peiords but just the same I always gain it back. Then that old feeling is back right along with the weight. I am sure just about everyone on here knows those feeling. That down depressed feeling along with that tired feeling to tie that up with hating yourself because you look bad and have been bad with all the eating you just keep doing. I read everything I come across about weight lose and read here on diettalk go through all the weight lose stories I can find and but I know in the end none of that can help me because all it can do is give me knowledge. But I know to lose this weight it is all up to me but where do you get the determination to do it is something I can't come up with. I have no one to encourage me along the way. No I have no real friends sad but true. So for the most part I am on my own. I know I can come here but to have a real friend I could call if I needed to would be best. Not that I put the people here down they are all great and would help. But having that real buddy to do things with to call to visit would be greatest of all. No I don't feel sorry for myself because who knows maybe tomorrow I will find that friend no sence in giving up. So for now I need to find that determinstion on my own.

I have decided to take things a different apporch and try to lose no more then 5 lbs in the nexts 6 weeks with the program I am getting into at work. So starting tomorrow morning I stick to my 6 weeks. With eating right and snacking on the good things. I went to the store today and got the things I needed. In a way I am scared to try this but excited in another way wornder why that is like that. I know I am scared because I don't think I will be able to do it but I know thats the wrong way to think of it but it's still in my head. But excited because maybe with small steps I can do it. So any one who reads this wish me luck.

Today I started this program at work were you get weighed every week. I was weighted with my shoes and cloths on so there I was weighing in at 141 while at home 139 so I am going to track what my scale says at home on here. But no matter what I hope to lose at least 5 pounds in 6 weeks. I ate very good but I feel lousey tonight because throat hurts still after almost 2 weeks. Just might have to give in and go to the doctors. I will have to see.

I am having a tough night I think two things are coming in to play tonight. 1 being I had to have a very small lunch that was 5 cracker and a cheese stick only because I forgot I had to go to my son app and it was while lunch. Wasn't thinking I could have taken a sandwhich with me but left the house a bowl of soup I was going to heat in the micowave. 2 I am PMSing not a good mixture. I am trying to stay away from anything to fatting but I am really hungry. Hope tomorrow is better.

It's the day after Thanksgiving and I fell off the wagon on Thanksgiving day but not with the meal oh no it was what I cooked after later in the night hot sugary cinn. rolls and I ate 2. In the morning when I got up well lets just say my burps were yucky something I havn't had in ages and I hated it. So today I have been back on my wagon eating whats good for me. But hungry tonight so had a handful of carrots (6) and came here to catch up on what was going on. Oh and to write in here. On top of all that I am PMSing so I am so bloated I feel like I will pop. I need to stick to this all weekend long because I will be weighing in on Monday for my project zero at work. So wish me luck.

Today I weighted myself on my scale and it read 134 and point something but I was so excited now I don't remerber what it was. I know I don't get to weigh at work till monday and I know it won't weight me at that weight because I have my cloths on but it should still read a weight loss. I haven't felt this excited about losing weight in a long time. The one funny thing is I do better when I am at home then when I am at work but I think it's because from working I am so tired and since I have had 5 days off for the holiday and have rested alot I feel great. I just wish I could feel as good even with working but because I don't really like my job I think it put stress on me. Even though I hate my job I will be losing it in the nexts 6 months or so. You would think I would be sad about that but the only part I am sad about is losing the money I make which in my area is really good money. So I hope after I get layed off I find or do something I enjoy more.

Ok by the scale at work I weigh 136 and thats ok with me and that was with my cloths on so I know I am doing well. If nexts week I lose only a pound that will give me the 5 pounds I wanted to lose in this 6 weeks so I am now thinking I can and will lose more then 5 lbs even if I lose 2 to 3 more by the end of the 6 weeks I will be happy.

I didn't forget to exercise like I did last night. I am still wondering how I forgot but I think it has something to do with putting up my christmas decoration 8-| I just got so into it I forgot. So tonight I did my cardio and stretching it felt so good after. I hate cardio but I am going to stick to it because I do it every other day on the other I do toning. Love those days.

Tonight I did my toning part of my exerices and I didn't eat that good of a supper because I had to run around for my sons meds. So I had leftovers of pork and some veggie beans.

On another note I am tired because for some reason I am staying up late this last few nights and not sure why. So for now it's off to bed.

Today I did very well I stuck to my diet even though I had this class where I had to go out and buy my lunch. What I did is I brought a snack with me for break and bough a salad but had my own dressing from home plus a small bag of pretzles. Then came home had a good supper and did my cardio. I feel great.

Today I feel kind of sad mixed with being bloated so I think TOM is on his way. I have had a hard weekend because I did a bit of picking noting to bad really just was hungry so I would have a small snack here and a small snack there. Of course the weekends are tough anyway with nothing much to do. I am not a cold weather person so I tend to stay inside alot. I did all my christmas decorating and went shopping with my sister. And on top of everything with PMSing everything seems so much worse, like I feel like no one likes me and I feel I look bad no matter what and fat as can be. Plus I am so bloated nothing fits and my cloths feel tight. Not a good way to feel.

Ok I lost another pound even if it doesn't feel like it because of the bloat. Since I hit my 5 pound mark before my project ended I am going to make another one I have 3 weeks left so I am going to make it a pound a week so that will be 3 pounds over the nexts 3 weeks. I know I am losing because I had a cup and a half of my home chili that I make with chili seasoning and a can of chopped tomatoes and a can of kidney beans no meat. Plus I had a a 100 calorie bag of peanut butter cookie crisps and I am so full I havn't finished my cookies. :D . I am proud of me.

Looks like your doing good. Little snacks here and there can be a good thing. They keep you from being overly hungry and can help you feel satisfied with smaller portions during regular meals. The trick, and I can see you know this, is to make the snacks small and low calorie, high fiber helps a lot too because you get filled more and it seems to last longer until you are hungry again.

Thanks for dropping in on my journal. I have enjoyed your insights.

Take care,

Dude

I have lost another pound and I am so proud but not so proud because I haven't had any time to come and write or read everything is so crazy at this time of the year. But I will try to get back so I can read up on everyone to see how all are doing. So I will be back very soon I hope.

Hello Kimberly

I'm impressed to see that you've lost 11lbs so far that is wonderful. Just goes to show you if you have the right determination you'll succeed in this bad world that we live in today. Kimberly maybe you should talk to a dietician and see what he;/she says about what you should eat all day.

These are some snacks that you can munch on throughout the day.

100 calorie snacks from nabisco
Grapes
Graham Crackers
Celery
Carrots

I'm Taneisha by the way I'm 19 years of age, I'm a College Student and i'm in my Second year of College. I'm majoring in Computer Science but I'm going to have a job in Computer Programming

I just wanted to give you some advice Kimberly

**Hugs and Kisses**
Taneisha

Gosh it's so cold outside and to think we have anywere from 3 to 4 months left of this I will be so glad to see spring. I know those of you who like winter are loving this but if anyone out there is like me you become a bear this time of the year. I enjoy christmas and all but to me after that lets have the warm weather back. I am so on edge for spring because I am hoping to get my motorcycle licence and a motorcycle this spring. Come on spring!!!!!!

Kimberly,
I wish I was at 134lbs I would stop at that and just start eating healthy. Starting over is always good because you never know when you're going to need to reconstruct your life over again:) Life has unexpected turns and curves tht are in life. But keep on trucking gil you're doing really good stickingto your diet and I'm scared of you for being so small and in shape I'm Jealous:laugh:
Good Luck Tannie

No real time to post again tonight I have to do some cooking and wrapping and I promise to catch up with everyone real soon. so till then everyone keep up the good work.

Ok I am back and feeling kind of yucky after eating all that food I did in the last few days. I gained 3 lbs. not happy about it but I am back on the wagon again and I know that 3 lbs will come off in no time. I have joined the Easter challange on here so I will have something that will make me stick to losing the rest of my weight. To be honest it was ok eating all that food but I am glad to be back to eating the better way because I hate feeling so ful all the time. One thing I would like to start doing is learning to cook healthier meals since I am not much of a cook. The other thing I slacked on was my exerciseing so I need to get back to that too. One step at a time today I eat good tomorrow I get back to exercieing.

Well I came here on the 27th and the 28th I ate everything in site. My BF decided to stay home from work that day and when I am with him it's like I just eat. He took me out to eat for chineese food and it was so good but did I stop there no I ate even more once I got home. You know the old saying well my diet is ruined for today so might as well just eat what I want for the rest of it. But today I have been really, really, really good. I am PMSing so it's even tougher to stay on track because all the sweet and salty foods call to me. But I know I have to stay strong. I got movies to watch tonight so I am going to have a small bag of popcorn so I have something to munch on because I know if I don't I will want to eat what ever BF is eating. So till tomorrow making the night a good one.

I have had another bad day and I know it's mostely from the the fact I am PMSing in a big way. I just can't stop eating and I am short with everyone around me. My body is go through it's PMS change also. It's time like this I wish I could go hide some where till it's over. I hope tomorrow will be a bit better but I am not counting on it so I will have to ride it out the best I can.

Ok it's a New Year and on New Years Eve I ate like there would be no tomorrow but it came and with it the scale showing 139 I am not recording my weight till tomorrow but as I sat here this morning I came up with the fact that I have done nothing but make excuse to eat and not get real about my weigh loss. So as of today on Jan 1, 2006 I am getting real.

I will stick to eating right.
I will excerise.
I will not make excuses.
I will add to my list as I see fit.

I did very well today all my meals were very healthy.

Well I am back at it again, I am also back up to 145 so I have gained all my weight back. I just don't seem to be able to stick to any thing in my life no matter what it is. I want so bad to lose weight but even for all I want I just don't stick to it for long. I wonder why that is. I really don't have the anwers. I think most of the time it's because I am so unhappy in my life and the winter brings out all the bad feeling in me because I am so couped up and don't get outside enough. I know in the nexts few weeks this will all change the weather will start to be nicer. So I am back to trying this again. I am really going to try to stick to this. So anyone who reads this wish me the best.

I am so tired of weight loss it's like it follows me where ever I go it's all I think about. I past week was so bad for me my daughter had a car accident she is ok just sore and bruised up. Sometimes I think all this stress is making me old on top of not getting out of my house to do anything. I just know why I have become the way I am I was never one to feel bored I always had something to do or found something to do at home but this winter has been so hard on me and I don't know why it's so different. I just want warm weather to come be even so I still don't know what I am going to do with my time. I know I am stuck in a rut just don't know how to get out of it.