ok ,, day one of journal... day like... 15 of diet (way of life .. diet.. im referring to it as a diet its shorter)...... and ik this seems selfish of me.. but i went from 181-174 and im angry about it.. i want to lose more! i wanted to be at 173.. but ik why im not.. because i keep eating bad foods, i am good in the mornings... then it gets to about 2 or 3 .. im usually out at the mall or the beach, or somehwere that has food.. and i get some........ itd be easier for me to just bring something so i am not tempted.. but id probably eat it anyway!well 174 today, not bad, since i wasnt great yesterday.. it gives me another chance to lose! ate a fruit smoothie for breakfast... with fresh fruit and skim milk.... :) yay for me
lets see how lunch goes.....

well for lunch i had a left over turkey sub, with practically everythiing on it.. not good...... i suppose its better to have eaten a heavier meal earlier in the day then later on... this whole eating healthy thing is such a struggle for me, and sometimes i think im in such denial, and othertimes i say, i keep cheating why do i bother keep going.... im going for a walk this after noon all the way down the peer....... work off that sub!

We all have moments when we eat something we wished we hadn't but it does not help to beat yourself up over it. Just need to start to relize that you have the choice, if you get something to eat at the beach or mall just make the choice to eat something healthy, or you could make the choice not to eat there at all. It all comes down to choices, and you do have a choice.

You may want to lose more, thats good, but think logically is it better to be 174 or 181? Be happy, you have gotten started, don't judge your weight loss by how fast you can lose it, take it in steps. Be proud of the 7 lbs you lost, the is 7 lbs that are no longer on your body.

well, today i babysat an 8 week year old, and besides that had my 14 month year old to take care of, so breakfast consisted of one waffle that was to burn for my daughter to eat, lunch was a big salad with low fat/low cal italian dressing, and snack was low calorie ice cream about 100 calories...
tonite i have my daughters swimming class, after that we usually go to mcdonads, where i end up gainin the rest of my calories for the day unfortunately. but just going into mcdonalds,and smelling the food gets rid of any desire i had to just get a salad or yogurt.... fortunately im only at 400 calories so far today, it is 4:40 pm.well i will count my daughters swim class as some exercise , and then i might take her for a walk on the peer when we get back, depending on how late we get back.
one big step for me today, i did not weigh myself. its the first time in 2 weeks i didnt weigh myself, id like to only weigh myself every other day. small steps!
well lets hope i dont do to bad for dinner. i think i will get the grilled chicken sandwich, with ketchup instead of mayo!

ahhhhh might as well say today was down the trash... ate crap when i did eat, had gatorade instead of water, im going off track fast,,its like i have lost my motivation to eat healthy.. i was doing SOOO good for 2 weeks, and the pounds were just shedding off... then suddenly cheating became habitual, and more times a day then necessary.. it went from one unhealthy thing a day to one healthy thing a day... im so dissapointed in myself.... im back to 175 and i feel like im just gna go back up to 181 again.. i dont know why but i dont seem motivated like i was in the beginning.... how do i get motivated again? i was so happy because i was finally doing this for myself, and was doing so great, i dont want to give up..... i dont. :(

today i did laps in the pool, drank diet instead of gatorade, and ate watermelon even tho i wanted to munch on chips after swimming!!!!
its 7:48 and im done for the day (eating), im tired of gaining weight! i wanted to be down to 173 by last weekend, well now im at the verge of being 176...... enough is enough!
trying to be motivated.
tomorrow i travel to syracuse.... to bring my daughter to the zoo, and go shopping at the very large syracuse mall.... for fall clothes for my little one!

last night, after dinner at like 7 or so. i didnt eat the rest of the nite.. i was starving but i did it anyway. so proud of myself. i will be out of town all day and the only eating i will be doing is eating out.
so lets hope i contain myself!

Heather,
You are doing great. Keep up the good work and you will be at goal in no time.

Alampkin

Hey there!
Long time no talk to. Don't be so discouraged! Why don't you try to work on 1 day at a time. Say something like -"today will be perfect, just today!" and focus on just getting through that day. Then try again the next day. For me, if I get 3 perfect days in a row, then it becomes so much easier not to eat anything I'm not supposed to. Focus on what youve done right in a day and please don't beat yourself up. I know it feels like crap when you cheat and then put on weight that you've lost, but keep trucking! I"m behind you. :cheer:

Good job not eating late. IT is all a test to show you you can do anything you set you mind to. And if you did it once, you can do it twice, etc.

thanks guys for ur encouragement.... ive been down to 173.5 for a few days now , so i believe that ive actuallly lost a lil bit! well only half a pound but hey thats ok right! 2 1/2 pounds and i will have lost 10 pounds....... ive really been working on not eating late, and eating breakfast, even if i dont want to. today i measured out exactly the 3/4 cup cereal (suggested serving size) and skim milk for breakfast, only adds up to 160 calories... 45 minutes till i can eat a small meal again. eating 2 hours is great, unless ur hungry an hour later then u realize u got an hour till u can eat! lol. lifes been very stressful lately, at home, getting ready for school by the end of august , and getting my daughters day care all set up, so she has a place to be when i go to school. Went to the zoo and shopping all day yesterday, walked all day, so lets hope i burnt some extra calories :)
today ive got cleaning to do but im relaxing instead, going out of town with my 1 year old daughter and boyfriend who also is like a child, and his mom, can be extremely exhausting even for the most energized person!
thanks for everyones support

heather

Hey Heather, just thought I'd drop by and give you a THUMBS UP on your progress! I know you were getting a bit frustrated, but it sounds like your hard work is paying off. And hey - a day of relaxation is a good thing. It shows you're remembering to take care of yourself. :) Good luck with your daughter's daycare. Hope you have a terrific weekend!

didnt get to eat great for dinner, first i forgot i was suppose to meet my grandma for dinner and go to a parade, so i ended up speeding to meet her at the parade so we didnt have dinner until 9..... however i made it a conscious choice to get diet coke, instead of regular pop , and chose no dessert... ate chicken parm sandwich on a roll, and french fries, she took me to the kind of place that theres no to many choices, but im sure i could have found something healthier... but im focusing on good! so its an improvement.... because usually i would have gotten a regular pop, so cut the calories atleast! and no cheese cake is better then cheese cake! lol.
well have a good night everyone
heather

well actually got to work out today, it felt great.... i have a work out video, 3 segments, i did the entire first segment,a nd boy was i sweating after.... after shower had a sugar free fruit popsicle.....
had pasta for dinner, not sure how great that was for me, but got to walk around the mall for about 2 hours, nice to take a stroll and burn some calories instead of sitting on the couch.
weighed in at 175.5
(sigh)
never gna get to 170

so, i had an early morning.. had an appointment at 8:30, and didnt grab anything to eat, though i should have. i got home and was starving... i thought to myself, get a sub, get something good delivered, then i said no.... i finally told my urges NO!!!! so instead i made myself cucumber slices in low fat italian dressing, and a 180 cal baked potato.... much better for me, instead of that 700 calories i would have cost myself. now im going to relax with a bottle of water, and perhaps read instead of watch tv, where i am urged to snack!

this is my 1 year old, swimming at the ymca class we go to every monday! tonight is the last class :( ive come to enjoy spending the time with her in the water, during the summer!

today, i did great, thats 2 great days in a row, im so proud of myself. weighed in at 174.5 today.
had a peach before my early appointment (yes again) this morning.. got home, went to go grocery shopping, had a piece of pizza (not so good) , for dinner had a lean pocket and some of those low fat chips.... instead of eating out of the bag i put them on my plate!!! its 8 and im still full, but im waiting for my boyfriend to come home, because i bought strawberries, the shortcake muffins (low fat), and low fat ice cream :)
had a good day over all .... did not drink any juice or regular pop!

Your little girl is so cute. Enjoy any time with her is goes quick. My little girl is now 18 and ready for collage.

weighed in at 173.5 today, had one of those lite and fit smoothies....... it was kinda gross actually.... it was peach and tasted like watered down yogurt, with peach chunks.. to sweet for the morning. but only 80 calories....
my grandma insists on taking me to mcdonalds for lunch...... she doenst understand that i dont want to eat there.
so i looked up nutrition facts, if i get a 4 piece chicken nuggett diet coke and side salad, i stay under 200 calories!!! not bad at all!
tannie, i know shes already grown up so fast i feel like! shes starting a bad habit of trying to bite her friends, and she starts day care in 2 weeks. i am so afraid she will bite the other children!

Heather

Weighed in today at 172.5 i was thrilled. considering this summer i reached my high peak of 181. 170 would be my first goal! im so close too.
had a mini bagel and fat free cream cheese for breakfast. for lunch had 4 chicken nuggetts which happen to be under 200 calories. had some fat free cheddar chips for a snack....
dinner i think i will do a lean cuisine, because thankfully there arent enough french bread pizzas for me to have one!
oh ya for my morning went on a walk around the park, and had a fat free sugar free chocolate sundae with strawberries on top. it was delicious!

didnt have a great dinner, piece of french bread pizza. made a point not to eat part of it however. also had plenty of water tonite. and worked out to my video! which i did while my daughter was awake considering its not a long video and it was easy.... so i have no excuse! however i am so sore today.
the work out video i do is called the boot camp video with tracey mallett. it kicks ur butt but its fun and energetic and i never get bored of it. i stopped eating at 8... done for the nite :)
have a good nite everyone

Don't worry to much about the biting. Many kid go through it you might even find she will come home with a bite mark from another child. My son went through it and even had a boy that we lived nexts to bite him so hard he drew blood but it didn't stop my son from bitting him back. Just keep telling her no it not nice and she will get the idea of course I am sure you know this. Just don't be to worried.

weighed in today at 173.5 but however i know my weight fluctuates. the good thing is it was fluctuating around 175 last week ... back and forth.
now its fluctuating at 173.5 which is much better~
im spending time with my sister today, i havent been able to do that in forever. so that is good, we will do some shopping..... walking around a lot.... getting some clothes for my daughter for fall and winter. i love shopping for her!

i had a lean pocket egg sausage and cheese muffin for breakfast. only like 140 cals i think. thats cuz its small. but it filled me up!

ps.. i need a diet buddy, both of mine never respond anymore.
anyone interested?

tornado warning in ny!!!! no way... crazy... for the entire night. some how i am sure its bull, we dont have anything happen like that around rochester ny!
well today i took my daughter to chuck e cheese, and got a pizza. had diet lemonade, and a salad with lite ranch dressing first so that i wouldnt eat as much. unfortunately by the time i got to the pizza i was still very hungry. sometimes i wonder why i dont get full. even waiting a while didnt help!
anyway walked around shopping today, thats about it.. i might work out tonight if i can convince brandon to watch mikayla when he gets back from work.....
have a goodnight! i might have a ice cream float (fat free ice cream adn diet rootbeer)
:)

positive things that happened today:
had a slim fast breakfast bar.....
for lunch.. went to dennys. however got a grilled chicken sandwich with no mayo, and instead of french fries i got vegetable rice pilaf!!!
snack i shared an apple with my daughter
dinner.... had lean cuisine ravioli !!! only 250 cal

negative things:
at dennys i didnt like the diet pop they offered, so i had a cherry lemonade. how ever i only had one glass, and the next drink i got was ice water.
with my ravioli i planned on having a half a hot dog bun with the ravioli, ate the whole hot dog bun. ehhhhh
oh well
did rather well today
weighed in at 173!

Went to my moms house today, which is always a tough situation considering the foods she has to offer, and it puts me off my normal schedule of eating (dont i sound like a new born? lol)
anyway before i went to my moms i had a mini bagel and fat free cream cheese, which is not to bad in cals at all. under 250 i believe.
went to my moms house, had a granola bar filled with raspberry... that was 160 cals....
for dinner.... (early dinner) ... had spaghetti and sausage, and salad with italian dressing. it was the lowest cal dressing she had that i liked.
and a glass of milk.....
on the way home i was dying of thirst so i had a lemonade. not too good... but the whole bottle was 200 cals.
so i figure i am at around 1300-1400. not bad for the day. considering its 8:53 and im not planning on eating for the rest of the nite. im actually fairly tired and not hungry for once!
didnt get to work out today or yesterday, because i broke my toe.. ahh it hurts so bad... incase ur wondering how, well i had a bunch of hangers on the floor from my daughters new fall clothes... i walked over them with my daughter in my hand (clutzy me!!!!) and fell and smashed my toe trying to hold my daughter up from getting hurt. shes fine. my toe is not lol...
anyway it hurts to put any pressure on it. ... even to walk for a long amount of time. hoping i feel better soon to start getting out for walks. the weather has cooled down and it would be great to walk on the peer (5 min walk from my house)

have a good nite!
heather

oh ya.. weighed in at 172 today. go me!!!!! i was proud of myself :)

171.5 today, its amazing to me how fast these pounds are coming off... half a pound left and ive lost 10 pounds.. crazy!!!!
for breakfast i had a lean cuisine breakfast pocket, and a small cup of peaches.
i feel thinner today, i feel like im starting to be able to notice the difference. my pants are looser, today i am wearing a shirt that i usually can not wear. feeling good about myself! unfortunately i have so long to go, i try not to think of all the pounds i still have to lose, my goal being 125. id be happy in a size 5 or 7..... i would be smaller then i ever have been. i have roughly 15 pounds left until i can wear my clothes that i wore before i had my daughter. i have a whole closet of them at my moms house. that would be so exciting!

heather

had a subway cookie today. are those bad? well most of a cookie.... eck...
well i had a lean cuisine for lunch today (skipped breakfast. oops)
and fat free chips for snack... and ive been snacking on that cookie that my daughter was eating ever since. for dinner im hoping i eat before 7, and not sure what we are going to have (me and my boyfriend) we may end up going out and doing something..... which is always a challenge. yesterday we went to subway. that was a piece of cake. always easy to find something good to eat there!
well weighed in at 171.. i have officially lost 10 pounds. sometimes my mind tricks me and says.. well u probably were 181 only because it was late.... or... u didnt really lose that much its probably just water.. or whatever.. but ik.. that i have lost 10 pounds and it feels good!
my goal is to work out to my tape tonite now that my toe is better. its a new week and i need to work otu atleast 3x this week. and im at 0

Hiya Heather,

You are doing great. Your daughter is cute as a button and so are you.

Try not to skip meals (I know you know this already) cause it will keep your metabolism higher if you eat regularly. I eat 5 times a day (every 3 hours) and it helps me alot.

i know, and i try to make it apoint to eat breakfast every morning, because i find i lose more weight if i eat breakfast. today jsut was a rushed stressful kinda day and food wasnt thought of till i got home.. oh well. tomorrows a new day!
i actually eat every 2 hours, not sure if i could wiat 3 hours or might consider binging, cuz im so hungry!
well better get going.. my cute little daughter is getting into everything haha.
heather

well i just woke up, weighed myself at 169.5. not sure how the weight is coming off so great. i mean i have been eating 100x better, but dont exercise... i feel like its just falling off. 169.5! i cant believe it.... pretty soon 160. then 155 and i will be able to wear the wardrobe of my old clothes waiting for me! then soon i wont fit into those and have to get cute new clothes!
yay for me :)

well didnt do great yesterday..... after weighing in at 196.5 some how i chose to eat terrible foods all day, and now today i weigh in at 171.. had no water yesterday, ate late, ate bad foods..
im so dissapointed in myself.

lol.... i meant 169.5 boy that would have been bad 196.5 then down to 171.. i actually went from 169.5 to 171 today HAHAHA bad mistake!

170.5 today, i want to be back in those 160's so bad i can feel it!
i dont feel so thin today as i did when i was in the 160s. ik its only a pound away, its probably a mind over matter thing!
i need to stay motivated, its just so hard.

so.... havent been writing as often. thats because i have a diet buddy now so i kinda report into her instead. i realized this journal was like my diet buddy... somewhere to report to about how im doing!
well today i had
slim fast optima shake for breakfast
subway turkey on wheat for lunch
turkey on a wheat pita with low fat chips for dinner
and im about to devour in some fruit for a late snack before bed... ikkk no late nite snacks but its been a long day .. atleast its fruit and not a bag of potato chips and dip or something


mm that sounds good HAHA...

heather

cant seem to get out of this rut .... im stuck around 170-173 highest, cant get out of it. i cheat every day, makes me not lose weight, cnat seem to stop, so depressed right now. i wanan lose weight...... i hate to step on that scale and see i cant get into the 160s...... it hurts....... im just stuck, and i need to be motivated. and ik i have to find the motivation, but what if u suddenly just cant be motivated?
:(

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v67/nannerbanner/bdayheart.gif

Hope you have a terrific day Heather!!!!

reading my journal from august..... makes me so proud of myself.... when i started school, i began to eat unhealthy, and make poor choices. i forgot all about my diet buddies, this website, and eating anything healthy. went back to pop and juice, fries and burgers, eating late and made no good choices for the day. im dissapointed in myself.
looking back at the fact i weighed 169.5....... thats awesome. i cant believe i did that on my own.... didnt pay a nutritionist, i didnt join LA Weight loss, and didn't belong to a gym. i got out.... and ate healthy.
i could blame it on the weather. its cold and i hate winter. but i belong to a gym now.
barely go.
i could blame my eating on stress..... school, papers, breaking up with my boyfriend, looking for a place to stay. all happened at once it seems. but im not going to........ i know its my fault
i let myself slip away back into a world i didn't want to go. a world of eating crap and not caring. of avoiding the mirror not liking what i saw.

i want to eat healthy again. i want to count calories and lose that weight.....
im afraid to even get on the scale now. its sad how much work it took me to lose it. how did i reward myself? by gaining the weight back. all that hard work for nothing.....

not sure where to start. but i want to start.i guess thats a good step.