So why is it that now that I've lost 20 pounds, some people that I see every single day of my life who never used to say hello or good morning are now suddenly finding me worthy of their greeting?
Hmmm.8-|

Hmmm I used to go through that to until I realized when I was going for my walks I would walk with my head down.. and then I started holding my head upwards when i lost the weight.. Could you have been doing the same???

Or it could be that you're just so darn proud of yourself and your accomplishment (and you should be...) that you're smiling! Folks talk to folks who smile.

Maybe on some subconcious level they're noticing the difference.
Hugs
Mugs

Or it could be that you're just so darn proud of yourself and your accomplishment (and you should be...) that you're smiling! Folks talk to folks who smile.

Maybe on some subconcious level they're noticing the difference.
Hugs
Mugs

Excellent Mugs... and maybe they are having better days themselves:)

Well, that's the odd thing. I am always smiling and outgoing, fat or thin.
Who knows.
But thanks for your comments!
Has anybody else experienced this same phenomenon?
It feels good and bad at the same time.

Oh, oh, I know the answer (eagerly raises hand).......people gravitate towards the beautiful. You're a real beauty BB, outside and in. :)

Aw, that is so sweet!
Thanks, Yosh!

I think that people are nicer to me now than they used to be. Except sometimes overweight women are mean to me, which I never had a problem with before.

Or it could be that you're just so darn proud of yourself and your accomplishment (and you should be...) that you're smiling! Folks talk to folks who smile.

Maybe on some subconcious level they're noticing the difference.
Hugs
Mugs

LOL I was gonna say that too mugwump but i was too lazy to go back and edit my post.. But you are RIGHT...

Well, I do dress better now that I'm losing the weight.
No more "Hide the bulge" clothes. Maybe that has something to do with it too.
I make sure I buy clothes that do not allow room for expansion. no more elastic waist bands. And shirts that are tailored to show that I have a waist now.

I bought a long fall dress jacket back in July that was too small for me - price was right, had to have it! Got to wear it last night to go out to dinner. Never looked at the size before. It says size 8!!!! That's gotta really miss-sized because I wear size 16 clothes (working into 14's!!!).

But I did get a lot of complimentary looks last night in my jacket. Made me feel really good!

Still gotta thin out all over, especially in the hips and thighs, but I'm getting there!:o

Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement. Couldn't do it without all of you here at Diet talk!!!!

Well,
lots of people are superficial. Look Christy Ali didn't get a hit again until she said she was lossing weight. Anna Nicole who seems trashy 24/7 got back on tv as soon as she started losing with trim spa.

Therefore, I think the neighbors and everyday people are the same way. No one is interested until the package becomes different.

Sad, isn't it?
Glad I have close family and friends who love me for me no matter what size ME is!

BB, I have thought about the same thing. When i was heavier people would not help me in stores or stuff like that. I feel like now that I have lost weight that I get more positive attention. I think, like the others, that it has something to do with vibes that I must give off. I used to wear the "hide the bulge clothes" and was not comfortable with myself...How could I be comfortable around other people. I had low self esteem and a poor body image. I think I am more confident now and am not always worrying what others think of me. I, myself, am more outgoing. And where as I was the one who would avoid eye contact now, I am the first to say "hi". Now don't get me wrong this is not everyday. I have days that I just don't feel like being nice. That sounds bad. Let me rephrase. There are days I just am tired or busy or whatever. I am very very rarely rude to anyone and am never intentionally rude or the first to be rude. I hate confrontation. And would rather be taken advantage of, than cause waves or upset. It is hard for me to stand up for myself because of all of this...being overweight, low self esteem, being non-confrontational. I am rambling AGAIN!! I just wanted to say I have noticed the same thing. I have even caught guys "checking me out". It might be shallow, but for me, who has not been "checked out" since high school, it feels good. Am I alone in feeling a little shallow that some guy judging me on my looks make me feel good. I don't judge people on how they look. I don't believe that looks are a good indicator of who someone is on the inside. I wish I could have taken my own beliefs and applied them to myself. Instead of investing so much of who I am on how I look. For me, it all comes down to self esteem and body image. I could ramble even more than I already have but I won't. I seem to almost hi-jack some of these post to be all about me.

But, I love these boards because I know that I am not alone and that there are other people out there who think like I do and have issues similar to mine. I just hope that I can return the support I have gotten here with others who are going throught he same thing as me.

Keely, thank you for posting. You're welcome to do so any time!
You really do know where I'm coming from with this thread.
I guess it's all part of the journey.

I am glad you found diet talk (although it looks like you have made tremendous progress on your own! Wow! Pat yourself on the back!).
Look forward to hearing more from you!

:welcome:

I think to be honest people assume that because people are big and out in public that they are embarressed of who they are, and to be honest I do not think that many big people are. Society as a whole generates these ideas that people seem to have, so maybe non fat people think that is they avoid fat people its to the fat persons advantage?

I found that I had an attitude as a bigger person, which I think subliminally translated to, "I'll reject you first, since I expect you to reject me"-- what's funny is that in school, where I *had* to be outgoing, I was quite social and had no trouble with this whole thing, it was only in stores or at the Y or various other things I'd go to that I had issues...Now, those issues seem to be gone because I am smiling, and I do say hi, and I am feeling like I am part of "acceptible society" (I had some real esteem issues, before, ande not just weight-related)

--but I also think it is a combination of dynamics; society likes pretty things, and accepts them more readily, which makes us feel more at ease in society when we feel pretty...

(--and also, I should mention, since I don't post stats, I'm pretty much in your shoes, BB, in terms of, I started out initially at 210 pounds, lost weight, gained some back to 191, and am now down to 165. :) )(just so you all know where my point of view comes from!!)

Wow, Jessica! Super job on the weight loss!
Yes, it does affect your attitude as you lose more.
When I was big, I didn't feel sexy at all. Now I do feel attractive.
I'm not kidding myself. I'll be 42 in December, so i'm by no means a "Hot Babe", but I do feel that I am the best I can be right here, right now, so why not feel good about my body?

Jessica,
I think your observations are a good indication of the complexity of obesity in society. I would venture that in spite of wanting the approval of society many individuals fear being in that role and in a way use obesity to avoid dealing with that fear. I have come to learn that fear of success can be as strong or stronger than fear of failure. I suspect that the high failure rate of dieters might be lower if obtaining a measure of self-actualization along with weight loss was possible. Thank you for an interesting post.
Bill

Hello BB
People observe what they want in people. Some people are just plain rude. I can't stand when people walk pass you and won't say a word and now all of a sudden when you loose the weight they want to talk to you which is the exact thing that is happening to you. Some people just don't realize the person you've become their still remembering the old you and not the new one. Which is kind of a Double Standard when you think about it I don't know what ppls motives are when they choose to say Hi or not in the morning time.

They don't have to put you on a stand and bow to you "Laugh" But some people don't recognize you like I said.

Hey Jessica,
You weight is a big issue about you. You feel not included in everyday society and you shouldn't feel that way but i bet you do. I feel subconscious about my weight sometimes but I write to God and ask him to give me the strength to survive this cruelty.I'm getting most of my criticism from my father of all people. He should be bringing me up but instead he's bringing me down I don't think he realizes what he's doing to me.
I try to make good grades for him. He doesn't think that a C is good enough in his book! It has to be an A or a B but I'm not perfect and i'm not going to try to be. Society only bases you on what they think you should be if they think you should be a toothpick or borderline Anorexic they will do it! They do anything that makes thing sell and i'm sick of hearing about it.

You need to be your own person. You can't have people tell you what you can and can not do for the rest of your life because you know one day that person that was telling you what to do is not going to be there and you're going to have to fend for yourself and stand on your 2 feet and tell these people that obviously think you're lower and they are the most highness you tell them Look I don't know who you're talking to but I have just as much right to view my opinion as anyone else does

Tiana, I understand wat you are going through.
My dad used to be the same way. He's just trying to be a fther and keep you on the right track but isn't quite sure how to go about it the right way.

I remember even when I moved out on my own we'd have family gatherings and he would always make some comment that would send me home crying.

Then I decided enough is enough and I sat him down and had a heart to heart talk with him. No yelling or arguing. I just told him that I love him and I appreciate that he's trying to help me because he cares about me, but instead of pointing out the bad things, I respond much better when he points out the good things I do.

Well, he took it to heart, and it's been many a year since I've left a family gathering in tears. Now we share the positive stuff and the negative stuff and move forward and enjoy each others company.

You just gotta realize that your dad is only human and trying to do the best he can. And there are no parenting rule books. Most just wing it, guessing as they go. And a little feedback goes a long way.

I hope this works for you. Remember, be positive when you have that talk and he'll respond much better.

And I can also tell you this will work with all the men in your life as you go forward! Sometimes you just have to sit them down and spell it out for them. Once they get it, life is grand!

I wish you the best!!!

Oh let's admit it, people basically dislike FAT. Or if they don t openly DISLIKE IT they TOLLERATE it. Or perhaps, they don t even bother to LOOK at the PERSON behind the fat. At least it's what happens here around my city. Fat people are treated like they were disabled , or non-humans anyway. Of course nothing BAD really is said or done ( unless you're as lucky as I am, I even got balls thrown on my face for my being fat ) but come on, you've been trough it. You've got the stare from the people sitting next in the bus, or in a pub. You've got the nasty reply from the waitress. And if you have close male friends...tell me, how nice is it to be treated as if you were the best of FRIENDS? ( and I bet indeed you ARE).My personal experience is that a good friend of mine, he was a life-longfriend, one day came up to me saying he had feelings for me. XD Well he didn t have feelings for the 20kgs of me that had gone away, for sure. I feel satisfacted too if someone shows attention for me, but I know it's fake. I have been raised believing in the "beauty of the inside" and that good looks last so short that they're not worth putting effort into. They should have given me a leaflet with instructions " use this principles carefully, they might turn against you".

BunnyHat, I must agree.
And it is very sad.
I work with people of all shapes and sizes. The ones who are big on the outside are the ones who are the most loyal and big hearted on the inside.
And I do know some folks are missing out on some beautiful friendships with them just because they are prudes.

I've got friends of all sizes. I don't care what size they are. I judge what is inside. And I'm pretty darned lucky to have met them all!