hi to all
im starting this new journal with the hope of losing weight .actually its more to do with losing the emotional baggage and then the weight comes of quite soon. so heaving a deep sigh i hope i can do it .this time .and keep it going on .im 5'5 and weigh 65 kgs thats145lbs and i want to come down to 52 kgs. more than the weight i want a leaner look .1 was 78 kgs came down to 57 .but oz of depression came up to 65 . its ok i have to do it again. i have to prove to myself and others that i can look good people who have commented on my weight and looks i have to make them eat their words well i hope i can do it .even as i write this .i have actually given up all hope of looking good .but im doing this coz i want to b able to look in the mirror without having to hate myself or cry .my exercise schedule begiNs tomorrow


WEIGHT ON 5/19/2005
65 KGS

TARGET
52 KGS

EXERCISE 1.15 HRS 6 DAYS A WEEK
YOGA 1 DAY A WEEK

CALORIES NOT MORE THAN 1800/DAY

AMEN

please help me god do just do the daily task and give me the strength not to get disappointed by others rude comments help me and keep me away from fear of failing and all the insecurities you best know i suffer from .:snow: :snow:

guess what i ate abowl of custard near to 5oo cal 2day out of frustration my mumtold me that i had become a good for nothing person 2day and out went my plan of the window it all started this way me not looking good and didnt know how to do things correctly dress well makeup.............. till very lateno1 told me i was made fun of and i turned to food and its been downhill ever since .why did i do that???????? why ?ok i dont look good. but why do other peoples comments hurt me so much .why do i ruin myself for others .and when they have given me nothing why do i do it again and again....... so many false starts to the diet ive lost count and the willpower to carry on .why X-( X-( why so out goes my plan fine nothing new i'll start again 2morrow 8-| hopefully it should continue and i dont want to talk to any1 right now grow up man you have to lose weight ad all the crap with it period.

today i plan to start dieting and exercising and not ruin it i dont know whether ill do it tomorrow but 2day ill stick to it nothing to talk abou coz there nothing in my life my professional life ws so good i ruined it on my own and plan not to do it again only 2aims in life study and lose weight u dont need any1 you know it and ull never find any1 best is to be emotionless and study god please help me you made me ugly im suffering for no fault of mineleast you can do is to give me some mental peace

i just read the weight loss stars column and i was so inspired and remembered the last time i lost weight all alone 21kgs thats 47lbs wthout the help of any forum or diet group and now when ive gained it back no sweat ill do it again thanx a lot buddies this time round ill do it for myself and thats "abig" enough reason hehe

Hi Angeleyes! As long as you're reading, try some of the journals. Folks record their daily habits and a lot of their feelings. I'd particularly recommend one called "My weight is my worth and other discarded lies" by Anne2. She's a very talented writer and talks about how people put her down for being fat and how it made her feel, but more important - how she's learning to overcome that. It inspired me a lot! Here's a link: http://www.diettalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=48390

Stay strong!
Hugs
Mugs

You sound good today. The best i've heard in a long long time. Go girl. You will do it.

well guess what, i didnt exercise 2day too, in the depression of where i am in my professional life im 23 year student ,finished grad and 1 year of job this jan. but since i want to do postgrad i quit this jan to study its sept now and exams in jan i havent read much. i know i can doit no probs. im an above average student{thats the only thing good about me}.but i get so damn nervous and depressed coz i feel that by the time i clear the entrance exam next jan not this jan coz i havent studied ill be too old to clear. when all my friends would have cleared thisyear. so i feel the time has passed away .as of now im the youngest in the batch .so by the time ill clear ill be the same age as my frieds now with more no of attempts wasted. i feel like a big loser. i didnt clear last jan coz of depression about my looks and weight. and ddnt study .though i didtop my batch in final exem of grad. so please help. the fear of being made fun of the age factor the no of atempts is killing me. i cant study and am overeating. thats the plain smple truth .and the reason why i gained back the weight i lost .please advice even if i clear no 1 will ever understandwhy it took me so many years to clear. i dont want 2b made fun of again apart from my weight and looks. pleeeeeeeaseeeee advice.:help: :help: :help: my insecurity is making me crazy and fat:help: :help: :help:

what will i do i dont know i had to come back and continue i was a very good regular student stdied everyday regular idealistic but when i entered college for grad t all changed i hadnt cared much about looks didnt know anything about looking good hw mucch appearences mattered when i entered i ralised it people made sure idid i was not praisedso much for my studies than critiscised for lack of looks i enterd into this depression and it has worsened since i held ack many times but it caught on as i got more ad more depressed i ate ate ...and looked even worse and my stdies sufered and 2day ive reached this stage as above i feel so guilty of wasting my grad schol i didt do bad butcould have been so much better and its ot that i partied or anything bt didnt study or rather couldnt coz of deprssion some days i do study putting everything aside ad diet exercise also but i give in when im reminded of my past i kow clearing the exam is easy but i just cantget myself in the mental state to do it thats pretty much my story ruiing my life coz of others comments and now im so depressed i hardly go out anywhere please help is itok if i clear sligtly later than others what about the age factr i remember m batchmates making fun f people who cleared late i know its wrong to listen to other people and all that then why cant i get convinced enogh to do it why cant i gather enough courage to do it

Angel hun you have to learn to not let people get to the better of you.. Try and concentrate more on what you want out of life without worrying about what others say.. The best thing to do is not even let your family know you are trying to lose weight.. If they offer you something just say "no thanks" YOU have the control not them.. Work on you one day at a time.. If you have a set back?? "so what??" (sorry for sounding harsh) you are a normal human being.. We all have set backs. Plan for you day the day before. .don't leave it for the "day of" Preplanning really helps... Write those plans down.. every time to stick with the plan reward yourself with a gold star... One of these days girl when you reach your goal you are gonna look back on the beginning of this journal and will hardly believe you are the same person.. So please please please get push the depression aside and live out your dreams.. Hugs joanne

Well sounds to me like maybe you need to see a doctor about your depression. I think that's the first bit of advice I will give you. There are meds that can help maybe it's what you need to help you clear your head. Second I think you need to tell your mum she has a bigger problem then you do what kind of a mum would tell her daughter that she is good for nothing. And 3th what do you meen by cleared at school? Now see I have this insecurity about being dumb because I was so bad in school and I am now 40 and to this day it's still there and I have to tell myself when that feeling comes that it's not true untill it goes away. Does it come up on me alot YES so be 40 and feel as if you are so stuipd but I will not let it become that best of me because I am a good wonderful person even if I am not the smartest. If you feel bad about thing about yourself it's ok but you need to look at what is so wonderful about you that, that is what shines throught. God says love thy self. SO LOVE YOURSELF EVERYDAY

What kind of Mom would say that? Mine did. Both my folks told me I was good for nothing. Didn't matter what I did - they always found something negative. I remember one time when a group I was in at school won an award and we were on the TV news and in the paper. My parents said "look - you're the fattest one in the group". I was 11. I got teased and bullied all day at school and then got the same thing at home.

So, Angeleyes, I know where you're coming from, and here's what I wish I had done. Please think about it.

Lots of folks told me to get out of that house, and I didn't believe them. My folks had convinced me I was so useless I would never survive on my own. I'm telling you now that if you live with people who put you down all the time, you start to believe it. If you get out on your own, you WILL survive. You are not worthless, no matter who tells you. You can make it.

I also wish I had seen someone about my depression. I was so depressed that I couldn't face doing it. Please try Angeleyes. Please try to talk to someone. A counsellor at school? A free clinic? Any place at all where you can get help and DON'T TELL YOUR MOM! There are so many things they can do now.

And here's one piece of advice that I wish I had learned sooner. I too was afraid to go back to school because of how much older I would be than the others, and said to someone "it's 5 years! I'll be so old when I graduate". He said "and how old will you be in 5 years if you don't go to school?". It is never too late to go to school. It is never too late to be what you were meant to be.

So how did life turn out for me? I did go to school - at night. I graduated top in my class. I am strong, poised and confident. I've never been out of work for long. I make good money and I'm well known and highly respected. I get job offers every day. I was chosen from over 1,000 employees in my company for an award for my work last year and my picture was on my organization's home page. And through all of these accomplishments I was fat - I weighed over 300 pounds. My avatar is a real picture of me at my heaviest. It just doesn't matter. The weight doesn't hold you back. It's how you feel about it and react to it.

Please, Angeleyes, please get some help and do what I did - learn to love and respect yourself for who you are. You're one smart cookie - too smart to let depression take over your life and ruin it. Just please start now - cause it took me until I was 40 to really wake up.

Hugs
Mugs

thanx a lot people im already feeling better guys and this time i didnt need to eat 2 feel better i had you all thanx again today i plan to start again my diet and my studies and plan to stick to it and one of the big reasons is you al people out there :ghug: :ghug: thax a lot and on day i shall do it and look back at my angels thanx a zillion times and today i promise my journal entrywill be all goood

ill like to as how to get that weight tracker on to my messages i logged to the site and got 1 selected but didnt know how to get inwith my messages