So, i am starting a journal.
Here's my weight loss history:
I was a very thin child....known for it actually. when i turned 14 i weighed myself to discover that i weighed 100lbs. that floored me and thus began my eating disorder. i was anorixic/bulemic for about two years. my weight stayed the same though. i would lose and then gain. i maintained my weight through highschool pretty much and then college hit. the freshman fifteen was more like the freshman 20 and so on for five years. i lost weight for my wedding which was about a year and a half ago and have gained all of the weight i lost back and then some. i have tried SO MANY weight loss programs including slim in six, weigh watchers, south beach...my problem is that i am a compulsive eater and can not STOP! i need something to take my mind off of food and i need something to quench my hunger! i have taken diet pills and supplements and they have helped but when i stopped taking them the weight would come back. i go to a gym..although not faithfully because it is too easy to not go...how frustrating...

January 16th
Today i ate like i don't care. and i do care. how is it that i can get so excited about being healthy and then completely lose sight of what i want? It is like yummy food has the control and i don't. or it seems that i always get myself into a situation...like i will do good all day and then realize that i have to go to a friends house for dinner that night and they are having something that is totally bad for me! can i not hang out with friends anymore? i really want to lose this 35 pounds before i get pregnant. I really want to have children but i am afraid that if i get pregnant while i am still bigger than i want to be, then i won't ever be at a healthy weight again. i am only 24 and i know that the years are coming. these are the last few years that i am going to have a body that doesn't sag and i am waisting these young years on being overweight. you would think that would convince me to lose it. i wake up in the morning and my body aches and my feet feel like they can't take the weight. i know that 35 pounds isn't much bu my little body really wasn't made to carry this weight. i need some incentive...i know it has to come from within...but i don't know where. i want to lose the weight..i do. i want to lose it. but the actions that i take don't show that i want to lose...they show that i don't care.

Hi :wave: Becky & :welcome:

Hopefully by coming here you will find the support to help you do what you want :)

we are all here for you :D

Hi Becky, I'm doing South Beach Diet as well. How are things going so far? It really can be a good plan for getting rid of cravings and breaking old habits. I know how frustrating gaining and losing can be. There are a couple of us over in the South Beach section, you should join us:)

Today i had such a great workout! I tell you it feels so good after I work out. Like a new level of "alive". why haven't i ever been able to stick with this? I love it so much! Any one with ideas on how to stay motivated to keep working out?

January 19th
TOday was such a long day. I worked at school and then at the mall. i got to take a short nap in between but the days that i know i'm not going to the gym i eat awful. i wonder why that is. i really am loving the gym though. i keep pushing myself and when i am there it is so great! my husband is going with me now and two friends...it is very motivating.

ok so here i am again beaming about working out. i always loved to do it in highschool and then i college i just kind of fell away from it. now i am back and loving it again. i feel so great afterwards. i can go to bed at night knowing that i did something really good for myself today. i am trying the sbd. starting it is always hard esp. since my husband isn't really doing it. this next week i plan on really getting on board and doing it. i got married about a year and a half ago and looked really good (pardon me for saying so) for my wedding but my new birth control has really had an effect on my eating and weight gain. my sister is getting married this june and i feel like i have time to lose the weight (or most of it) that i want to , to look and feel good for her pictures. i know that being thin is not everything but i will feel so bad being overweight in her pictures. ok. end

After reading your post I can see that you are very motivated, and that's great. Getting you hubby to go with you to the gym is great thing. There is nothing like working out together. You'll both stay in shape, and there is something about working out together that keeps you accountable.

You might want to set yourself a couple of small goals working towards the looking good for your sister's wedding, but don't forget that you want to keep looking after the wedding is over. So set yourself some goals for after the wedding as well.

Welcome to DT. We all enjoy having you join us here.

thanks for your encouragment vtmom. i have been sick for three days and haven't been able to get to the gym. it is making me feel even worse! but i am going tomorrow no matter HOW bad i feel. i really miss it. my husband didn't want to go at first but really seems to enjoy it now. he is fit anyway so it's not that big of an issue for him but it is more fun when he goes. he is so encouraging... i really want to lose it before i have children (i'm 24) because i know if i don't, i will be overweight forever. i have been eating MUCH better than i have in the past and i actually feel less hungry. of course there are the slip ups and the "i don't care" attitude just waiting for me to be weak....we'll see how tomorrow goes. if i can get my sick little body to the gym. i WILL GO!

First off, welcome to DT and I hope that you enjoy your time here. It really is a great place to be and there is ALWAYS someone here that can encourage, support, and help you through your stuggles and praise you for your successes. Everyone has their off days and gets sick a time or two in there lives...it is only normal, so don't be so hard on yourself. I, myself, was a tad bit under the weather this past weekend and did not do anything right, but once I got better (today) I got right back on track with my calories and "kicked butt" in the gym tonight. You know what you want to do, you have your mind set, you have goals, and you made the first step by getting back in the game and coming to DT, so you're on the right track...just relax. The last thing you wanna do is be stressed about losing weight. Well, welcome to DT and we are all here for you.