Ok. Here goes... This is my first journal entry but I hope to make this a daily habit. The weekends will be hard but I am really going to try because that is when i have so much trouble with food!

Anyway, I have started back at Curves and I am committed to at LEAST 3 times a week. I hope to go 6 but I need the flexibility for those days that I am booked solid.

I have started recording everything I eat. There is a little gadget (I like anything that will help me lose weight and is easy!) called a ROBI nutrition assistant (you can google search for it). It is just so easy! You just select the food that you are eating, the quantity and enter it into a daily diary. It keeps track of calories, fat, protien, carbs etc. and you can check with one button and see how much you have left for the day. Today I have been eating all day (trying to get the smaller meals in more often to increase my metabolism) and i still haveto eat 247 calories, 11.5 grams of fat, 51.3 grams of carbs and 38.4 grams of protein!

(You set up your daily goals ahead of time - my goals are based on the Curves low carb plan - phase One 1200 calories, 33 grams of fat, 90 grams of carbs and 135 grams of protein. Once the goals are in, the robi looks after the totals for you and tells you if you are over or under for the day.

The only thing missing from this is an exercise log. BUT this gadget is the size of a calculator or cellphone so it goes in your pocket! No more heavy journals or notepads! I was always very selfconscious when I had to write everything down. (oops I left the journal at home...now WHAT did I eat today? - not very accurate)

Anyway I am using this now so it should be a lot easier to track the calories etc. This time I WILL succeed!

Now for the bad news. I have been weighing in on Wednesdays but I snuck a peak this morning and i was UP a pound! I am sticking with the eating and the water and the exercise... I am hoping that my body is just adjusting to the shock. i think i will cry if I am not losing by next weigh day!

Hi Lesley :welcome: ! Sounds like you are on the right track! Stay focused and you will get there. I wish you all the best on your weight loss journey.
Your calories counter sounds nice. Keep up the great work!
Will check back with you to see how your doing.

Thanks Millie

I just LOVE your ticker! The sun is shining in the tropics - And just look at how much you have lost! Congratulations! The tropics and the sun - motivation for bathing suits?

The calorie counter is really much more than that. I am tracking my carbs, fat, and protien as well and this thing does it all. I bought it as a motivator to start and it has really helped.

Let's all keep going down together!

I went to Curves twice last week and was really good with my food - BUT shared a couple of bottles of wine with my husband last night.

I weigh in on Wednesday ao I will see how I do then.

Hi lesley,
Sounds like you are still on the right track. Good for you. You will be to goal before you know it. Don't worry about the wine. At times we all have more calories then we need or want. Just move forward and don't look back. we still need to live life,lol.

Stay foused and you will get there. I will check back and see how your doing.
Have a GREAT week!

Hi Leslie! Sounds like you are off to a good start and you sound very determined! That's a good part of the battle. I know weekends used to be hard for me, so I decided to make my weigh-in day on Mondays so I'd be better about eating on the weekends. It works for me that way.....

Good luck with your weigh in... If you're eating healthy and exercising and drinking that water, you're getting healthy no matter what the scale says and that's a good thing!

Take care and have a good week!

:help: X-(

I accomplished so much yesterday and I was feeling really proud of myself so I weighed (unoffically) and found out I was UP 1.5 pounds!X-(

I have worked so hard at keeping the exercise going and watching my food intake... This is just so disappointing.

Yesterday after work I went home and baked a pile of chicken breasts to have with my lunches, I did 2 loads of laundry, I went out and voted, I went to curves and did a workout, I did the grocery shopping and I painted the trim in the bathroom.

Well I got to be shortly after 11pm which is WAAY too late for me. I get up at 5 and I take medication at night which makes me sleepy so this morning I was in a complete fog. Being disappointed already, I was craving sugar like crazy. It seems to be the only thing that wakes me up. I didn't cheat as much as I would normally have - with croissants, nmuffins and donuts - but I ate 5 granola bars and a bowl of fruit salad!

Now, after a lunch of fresh spinach with dressing, shrimpsa and cottage cheese along with a few figs I am already over by 55 calories!

Today is weighday and I just can't face the increase...:help:

It is days like this that make me glad I have somewhere to get support

01.24.2006

Hey Lesley: Don't give up now... keep your head up. Sometimes the body does some weird things, you feel awesome, yet, you've gained a pound. My tip to you is: don't worry about the # of weight you've lost or not lost... but rather, focus on your inches. Take out a tape measure and measure your hips, waist, arms, legs, bust.. etc.. and every week or so, re-measure, you will find that you are probably loosing some inches! And if you think about it, who cares how much you weigh if you look amazing. I've stopped focusing on weight in numbers.. instead, I am focusing on someday fitting into a size 4 jean... you'll find that if you just exercise to get healthy and watch your inches, that the number on scale is just an added value. But, I have been irritated like you, I mean, gosh, you've worked your butt off.. and the scale is being stubborn. Maybe you have some water weight from drinking water? A TON of factors could come into play... so keep your head up. Your over in calories now... so eat well for the rest of the day. A slip here and there is ok, we're human. Make a point to better tomorrow.

You rock! :cheer:

Hey Lesley,

FSU Girl had some good advice. Get a tape measure, and measure yourself. It is a more accurate measurement than weight. I know you feel like you blew it, but just get right back on track. You have the right idea, you just have to stick with it. Your calorie tracker really sounds neat. I did a google search, and it looks really easy to use. I use fitday to track calories. The only thing I didn't like about the ROBI, is that it only has memory for 31 days. I really like to see what I have eaten over the last couple of months.

Hope you are having a great day and that weigh in didn't treat you to badly.

Hey, Leslie.... FSU girl is right in mentioning inches. I weigh on Monday's and I measure each time, too. It's nice to see the inches coming off, but it's even nicer when the number on the scale hasn't moved or has moved up, but the inches are still coming off! Helps me to remember that my hard work and good efforts aren't in vain.

Something to remember is that when you make healthy choices with your eating and exercising, no matter what your scale says, it's never wasted effort! There are so many reasons why the scale might show a small gain like yours did. Did you weigh the same time you always do? Did you weigh with the same clothes on or naked? Sodium, TOM, time of day.... so many variances. Try not to get on the scale inbetween your weigh days/times and try to do it with the same clothes on or naked is good... and same time of day each time. You'll get a better picture of what's really happening with your body that way!

Keep up the good work... I know sometimes things can look like they aren't going anywhere, but I'm sure all the hard work and determination will pay off in the long run!

Have a great day!

Oh thank you so much for the messages. I feel like I have found new friends! I want to join one of the chats - when are they and how do I join?

I weigh 186 now - 2 pounds more than when I started but I did the fat mass test (I am only supposed to do that once a month - same with measurements but I needed something positive). Anyway I have lost a whole pound of pure fat! A pound of butter slipped off my body! I am sure my weight gain is water because my rings are too tight. TOM is over a week away so it isn't that. MAybe my body is confused - well I am feeling more positive now and it will all come off eventually as long as I STICK WITH IT!!!

Wendy - I just read your journal and I wanted to cry! First, sad tears, for all the things you have gone through and then HAPPY tears for the way you have coped so well. I will remember you everyday that I don't feel like exercising!

DJ - I AM going to start with Monday as weigh day. You are right that it might help me through the weekend. Monday used to be my day, but I was so bad one weekend that I switched to Wednesday just to have a better weight! (what a cheater I am) So now it is back to Monday for me and I have joined the 40 lb challenge. (I am glad they don't post gains but that zero haunts me)

FSU
Thank you for the weight/measurement tip. i go to Curves and they like to measure only once per month. They say that is more motivating because you see the results. So I will do that and record it here. I don't have my starting measurements here so I will post them tonight or tomorrow morning.

Again - thank you all for your support!

Lesley,

Thank you, I appreciate that you think all that about me. I can remember thinking that about a lot of the women on here, I still do for that matter. When I first read your post in my journal, I thought to myself "geez, I haven't been through THAT much". Maybe I need to reread my own journal and remind myself of the journey. I guess after the last few years we have had, the last few months have been pretty tame. I do want to say that you really did make my day. To know that I could inspire anyone to keep on exercising, just amazes me.

Just think, three months down the road, some newbie is going to come read your journal and be in awe of you too.:)

Hang in there, and drink lots of water so you get rid of all that water you are retaining.

GREAT JOB LESLEY!!:cheer: Losing anything, except your mind, is awesome. Also, great job on keeping your focus and motivation even though your scale wanted to show otherwise.

Well I am feeling really guilty. That is why I have posted for 3 days, I have been hiding. Friday night I went home (I was supposed to go to Curves but I couldn't push myself to go) I felt so guilty about missing curves that I ate 10 granola bars! 10!!! Why do I do this? I am so discouraged, I went to bed right after that (4:30 in the afternoon) and slept until morning.

Then I didn't drink all my water on the weekend. I am very surprised that my scale says 182.6. Very close to the weight that I started at.

I was in a rut all weekend. Yesterday I got stuck into cleaning the house and sorting closets. Getting something out of the way helps lift my spirits but I am so tired today!. I didn't eat very much yesterday - but what I did eat was healthy. It just seems so hard to have regular meals on the weekends> I don't eat breakfast until late, then I skip lunch (and sometimes dinner if my husband doesn't nag me to eat). I know I should eat properly and regularly - why can't I stay on track and just do it?

The scales aren't helping my motivation much but I know if I keep working out and stay on track with eating it will change.

I just get so frustrated I throw in the towel and give in. I come up with all kinds of excuses to justify my behaviour.

Weekdays are easier because I make my lunch and snacks and take them to work. I have Kashi ceral in my desk and bring milk with me if I don't have time to eat breakfast before I leave. THe Kashi is all pre-measured in little bags so I don't go over the quantity. I pack the proper foods for lunches and snacks, I eat a snack right before I go home so I won't be hungry - but the first thing I do when I go home is head for the fridge! I have been trying to do Curves before I go home because I don't feel as much like snacking if I do that - I just wish I could get into the habit so I didn't give up so easily.

I have no will power. I really wish it was something you could buy at the store or something.

Oh well, enough wining and feeling sorry for myself - time to get up, dust myself off, dry my tears and start again.

Lesley - Don't be so hard on yourself. You know what you need to work on, now take it one step at a time. that is all you can do. Weekends are tough for everyone to stay on track. I hate weekends as far as my eating plan goes.

ONE STEP AT A TIME

Whatever you do don't give up on yourself. You hid for 3 days, but the important thing is that you came back, so that does say something for your determination and your will to face your situation. Stay strong girl and keep doing your journal and everyone here is in your corner to help you. And realize, that you will have days where your whole health plan will be thrown out the window...everyone has those days, but the key to remember is that tomorrow is a new day to start fresh. YOU CAN DO THIS!!

Thanks to both of you. I have to weigh in at Curves tonight too. I will gt the fat mass test done as well and it will be offically recorded. Then I will get weighed every Monday evening. I will still post my morning results though since they are usually lower.

Next weekend I am going winter camping (I hope we get some more snow or it will be a wet mess!) We have to snowshoe in about 2km pulling all our gear on a tobaggan so that will be exercise. Since I have to pack my meals in advance Iit will help me stick to plan. So, this week might be the week that I make a whole week on my plan. I am really going to try.

Hi Lesley..... I know what you mean about not knowing why we do those kinds of things to ourselves! I do that same thing sometimes and then wish I could kick myself! Oh, if I could just get my legs high enough to kick myself... LOL Anyway, at least you are aware of what you are doing and that's a big part of getting healthy. You didn't get into the bad habits that you have overnight and it's not going to change overnight either. All you can do is keep working on building the good habits and working towards eating better and losing that weight.

Have fun with the camping! You are BRAVE to go out in this weather! lol I'm just not a camping kind of girl.... unless you call sleeping in a travel trailer with a bathroom, bedroom, TV and microwave camping. LOL

Take care and have a good week!

This is the first time I've used any kind of forum. I'm not the most computer savvy person . I chose yours to read because you were on a positive head set. I'm trying to not stick to a diet of any kind. I feel like in the past they have all made me more fat. I starve to get where I want to be and then gain back more than I started. I do believe the most sensible plan is to try and take in less than you burn and protein rich food do help with hunger pangs. The Robi sound like a great device to help keep track of daily caloric intake. I appreciate your advice. As for you keep theat positive mindset. Keep dedicated to your will. When it's in our deepest of desires we will do anything to get there. The problem for me is maintaining when I get there. Hope to stay connected. We have similar goals. Oh yeah, the best advice is to only weigh on that Wed. Thoses sneak previews can damage your will to keep going. It was probably water of the day. Remeber if you know you are doing what it takes it will eventually show up.

Boundbypound

Winter camping sounds cold. Someday I hope to take my Girl Scouts to do that, but I am not sure I could handle it. We will have to see. Not until they are a bit older though. They are only 4th graders.

Keep up the hard work, remember, one step at a time.

Well, I am really trying to dig out of this rut. I did really today - until 10 minutes ago. Then I had 3 mini tootsie rolls. That started my sugar cravings. I just had a meal replacement bar that has a sweet taste without sugar and is high protein. It is a real replacement bar - not the "energy" bars that are just as bad as having a chocolate.

I am telling myself that this is better than yesterday - small steps - right?

Yesterday I fell asleep 3 times driving home from work so I skipped my curves workout. I was feeling bad about skipping it and ended up eating 6 granola bars and a bag of microwave popcorn before falling asleep at 4:45pm. I got up at 8:30 to take my meds and went right back to sleep. I didn't get up again until this morning and I feel better today.

I am starting to feel tired again but not as bad as yesterday. Maybe the protein bar will help.

Could this tiredness be beacuse I eat most of my food before 2pm?

I am going to make that extra push to get to curves tonight. It is not my turn to drive so I am not worried about falling asleep - actually I don't feel all that sleepy yet. Mind you, I didn't think I was that sleepy yesterday either.

Anyway - I haven't given up yet - I am still trying...

I did a journal entry yesterday but the power went out just as I tried to save it! Anyway I did really well on Tuesday. I stuck to the plan all day and worked out at curves as well. I was really proud of myself. I weighed in at Curves (189) but I am not accepting that. TOM is here for an early visit and I had just finished a lot of water before I went. I was 182.6 at home on Wednesday morning so I think Tuesday was just a blip.

I will weigh in next Monday and do the fat mass thing. Curves plan involves weighing and fat mass testing each week. I missed this week (Monday) so I will "start again" next week.

I don't know how many times I have started over. It is really frustrating and I give up everytime. I just don't seem to have any willpower. I eat when i am still. If I sit wown to read or watch tv - I eat. Last night I couldn't go to curves (courtesy of TOM) so I did the stupid thing - i sat down with a book and ate 12 granola bars! Why do I do this to myself? I had to hide the wrappers so my husband wouldn't see them when he got home.

Today I am doing well again. I am drinking my water and eating properly. If TOM slows down a bit I will even get to Curves. I am bottling wine with a friend tonight so I will be too busy to eat. So today should be a good day.

I am a bit worried about the weekend though. I am going camping (yest - outside in tents in the snow) with a scout group. There are always sweets which are my biggest downfall. I have to resist that temptation. Also we are having "stone soup" for dinner on Saturday. This is from the childhood story that teaches helping each other. Everyone brings "something" to put in the soup. I have a feeling there will be a lot of starchy stuff like pasta and potatoes since they are the least expensive items. I can't very well opt out of the meal and bring my own so I am a bit worried about that too.

The breakfast will likely be instant oatmeal. Luckily I like the plain kind so I can bring my own and not have the sweetened kind that the rest of the people will have.

So - how can I avoid the sweets? There will be LOTS of them. And what do I do about the soup? Maybe just have a little and sneak the rest of my dinner when nobody is around? (I can't eat something in front of them that I can't share and there will be 30 to 40 people there.)

Any ideas?

Any ideas on why I keep sabotaging my own plans? I quit smoking 20 years ago and it was hard too. I had to keep starting over and over but I finally did it. I have been trying this for years and I just want to stick with the plan and get away from the sweets.

Does anyone know of a substitute? I have to be able to relax sometime - it isn't possible to be too busy to sit down all day every day. I just need to find out how to relax without the sweets.

Well - tomorrow is the camp. I was good yesterday but I didn't get to curves (TOM is the PITS). I did bottle some wine with my friend and we had a cup of tea after. I did taste the wine - but I had less than an ounce so that was a good thing.

I am going to start writing down EVERY small thing that I do RIGHT! Instead of only keeping track of the times that I cheat, or miss a workout, I am going to turn it around. I know I do lots of things every day that are steps TOWARDS my goal. Even though they may not be as big as the steps backwards, they are still positive steps. Maybe if I focus on adding to the positive instead of trying to avoid the negative it will help shift my focus and my results.

I am off camping tomorrow so there will be lots of exercise this weekend! I have to get to the site by snowshoeing in a couple of kilometers, and then we will be setting up and hiking and building shelters. If it is cold enough I will even burn a few extra calories just keeping warm!

I will update again on Monday with more positive steps - going in the right direction.

Well here I am AGAIN.

I had a good weekend at camp. I got lots of exercise walking 3 kms through the snow towing a 120lb toboggan. Unfortunately I didn't do so well on the eating. I had a muffin and a bagel with cream cheese on the way to camp because I slept on and knew I needed to eat breakfast before that hike. On the good side, I made the choice of a bran muffin and a multigrain bagel. When we got there my feet were so cold and wet that I passed on the hike (after everyone got set up they went for a hike without the tobaggans) and dried my boots out by the fire. While they were drying I had a relaxing read - get this - WITHOUT EATING! I find the hardest thing to do is relax without eating. Watching tv (which I do about once a month) or reading (several times a week) are the hardest times for me because I want to EATwhile I am sitting/lying there. I have tried different rooms in the house thinking maybe that would help - but not for me.

Anyway I digress. We had stone soup for dinner which is basically a big pot of boiling water which everyone adds something to. A lot of it was white rice and pasta but I tried to pick out a lot of veggies and meat too.

On Sunday I had 2 granola bars for breakfast and we packed up and hiked out withour loads again. I added some firewood to my toboggan so I had extra weight to pull. Also after I had my toboggan back I went back to take over for another person who couldn't manage their toboggan. I forgot to mention that it snowed all dat Saturday and most of the night. We had 3 tents collapse with the weight of the snow during the night (not mine hehe!)
It was a very wet and heavy snow which means I burned more calories !

On the way back we stopped for coffe and I had another bran muffin - then (I can't believe I diud this) I had a Boston Cream donut!.. Well all that sugar over the weekend woke up the cravings that had never really gone away in the first place. When we got home we ordered Chinese food for dinner. Monday I took a snowday because roads were bad and I ended up reading (and yes you guessed it - eating) for most of the day.

I didn't even get up and eat dinner.

Today is another day. It hasn't sxtarted off too well but I am trying to turn things around. I had whole wheat cereal for breakfast and a bran muffin at work. I slept in so I didn't have time to pack a lunch so I had a meal replacement bar (I keep some in my desk so I won't be so tempted by the snack machine). I will have another bar around 2 and then have a healthy dinner. I will make my lunch tonight for tomorrow and get right on track again.

I know i keep falling off. I get so depressed about it. Then I think back to when I quit smoking all those years ago. I kept falling off the wagon then too. I just kept starting over and over until finally I was able to keep going. I haven't looked back since.

Well the thing with this losing weight is the same. I keep falling and falling but I am still getting back on my feet and trying again. Eventually I will succeed.

My doctors have told me that weight loss will not be easy. I am on antidepressants and antiseisure medications for bi-polar disorder. THis is an incurable disease that is only somewhat under control. The medications make the cravings much stronger and harder to overcome and the depression/mania cycle makes you sleep and sluggish with no motivation at all or the opposite - going like crazy and very positive. Each part of the cycle can last for a day or several days/weeks with the depression cycle being the dominant one for me. I am back at work but I am not sure how much longer I can cope with that.

Anyway, the constant cycling has the effect of yoyo dieting. When I am in the down phase all I do is sleep and eat. I can sleep for 2 days straight. When I am in the manic phase I don't want to eat at all and I am very active. Just listening to what I get done in a day makes other people tired. I don't need much sleep at all in that phase (now if I could stay up there I would lose weight for sure)

Anyway, I have decided to look at the positive things that I am doing towards my goal.

This past weekend I exercised a lot. And I signed on the the forum today. My plan is to go to curves tonight and make a lunch for tomorrow. If I can do the meal plan for the week it will make it much easier to stick with.

Oh, tomorrow night we are playing hide and seek. THe venturers (they are scouts aged 14 to 17 and our group works with paramedics to get medical training). Anyway we have a hide and seek game planned for tomorrow night after dark. The police are organizing it and the seeking will be done with a police helicopter! They have the heatseeking devices and the searchlights. I am not sure exactly how it will be organized but it should be fun. Another plus - I will be running around getting exercise.

We have done a paramedic fitness test (a few weeks ago) and we will be doing another on ein May to see how much we have improved. SO, I am getting some goal work in where-ever I can.

Here's to tomorrow!:)

I just had to stop by and tell you how very much your post means to me ! Thank You :hug:

Lesley,

It sounds like you are a very busy lady. You are right, you will slip up, and you will get back on track. Everyone slips up, when you do, you just have to get back on track and minimize the damage the best you can. You are taking small steps towards your goal and that is the key. If you go too drastic you doom yourself even before you start. You need to do what will work for you for the rest of your life, not just right now.

Have a great day.

Oh boy! I just read through my journal and it is no wonder nobody comes here! What a negative sight! I have had a really bad cold for almost a week now so I have let the diet and exercise thing go a bit (ok a lot). I am going to curves tonight anyway. If I can only make one circuit then that is Ok - at least I got out. I am eating more carbs than usual to keep the energy going but I always think that you burn a few extra calories when you are sick because your body has to fight the germs! When Cory (my son) was little and he would get a sore throat or something I would get him to gargle with salt water. When he complained of the stinging, I would tell him that it was because there was a mini war happening (boys seem to like the fighting thing) Anyway I told him the salt (or anticeptic on a cut or scrape or whatever) was the "good army" and the germs were the "bad army" The stinging was because the good guys were winning! (all those guns and cannons lol) Anyway it worked! Whever he had the stinging again he would hop up and down saying oh oh oh the good guys are winning Mom!

Anyway - the extra carbs I ahve been eating have been mostly "good carbs". Whole wheat or bran or multigrain.

I have to lose this cold by the end of the week though. I am going on the snowshoe and camping trip next week and I won't be able to breathe the cold air if I don't clear up my chest. I really want to do this trip - it was so uch fun last year. Plus it really gets me back to exercising! We do 5 to 9 or 10 km per day on snowshoes! That is 6 or 7 hours of exercise right there! That will get me in the habit of getting "physical" everyday and it will be easier to keep it up. Of course I have to do the warmup this week by going to Curves every day.

Yesterday I went to the Science Centre (washing my hands with that sanitizing gel every time I coughed.) and they had an exhibit called body works. All I can say is WOW! The show is REAL bodies that have been preserved with a new technique that keeps them EXACTLY like they would be in real life. Some of them were just skeletons and the bones and joints were explained in detail. Some of the bones were cut in half so you could see what osteoporosis looks like and arthritis. Some bodies showed the nerves, some showed muscle systems, internal organs etc. It was fasinating.

The big shock was seeing the obese person. The body was sliced so you could see a flat slice, lengthwise from head to toe. Beside that body was a "fit" body of the same skeletel size. Now I thought that when you gained weight it all went on the OUTSIDE of the skeleton. NOPE! Fat grows on the inside too. That is why it is so unhealthy. It grows between all the organs and pushes the organs making them compress - therefore the organs can't function properly. What an eye-opener! Now I understand why the health impacts are so great. Imagine your liver being compresses to half the size and the hear being sueezed so it can't pump blood properly. I guess that is why they say belly fat is so harmfull - because what you see (and pinch) on the outside is HALF the fat that is acually there! The rest is UNDER the layer of muscle squished in between the internal organs. No wonder being fat contributes to being diebetic! The pancrease is squished to almost nothing so it can't possible do it's job.

If that doesn't get me motivated I don't know what will. Too bad you couldn't take pictures - I would have hung one up in my room. I will try to search for one on the net.

Anyway enough rambling for today. I am actually at work today (I was off Thursday and Friday - although I did do some of my work from home (I am very lucky to have that option) and I napped between jobs. I really shouldn't have come in today because I feel crappy. I am keeping to myself so I don't spread the germs but I will stay home again tomorrow if I don't feel any better. It isn't fair to pass it around - and I REALLY want to do that snowshoe trip!

I also have to watch what I eat more closely. I reads Wendy's journal and she is upset about eating too many breadsticks. No wonder she is losing weight. I have to be much more discplined.

Today! is the DAY that I start again for real!

Yes, it has been a long time, but I am back again. I have been faithfully working out at Curves the last 5 weeks and I go in for a weigh and measure today. With all the medication I am taking the pounds are just not budging at all and I am so very tired all the time. We are trying to get the meds stabilized so I am not so tired and then I hope it will get easier.

I have bipolar disorder and I have been battling it for over 30 years. The medications do cause weight gain (every single one of them!) and the depression makes it very difficult to get motivated to do anything. Anyone who is overweight knows that the added pounds themselves are depressing - and that just adds to the problem.

So, I am working out 3 times a week again, plus trying to get out for a short walk with my husband and the dogs in the evening. I am back on disability again (the 3rd time in my life) and the doctor really strongly suggests that I don't plan to work again. The stress of working - just getting up in the moring alone is hard enough a lot of the time, is just too much.

If I am not going to work I have to have some kind of regular motivation - so here I am, back at dietalk. I have to learn how to do stuff all over again and i don't want to spend too much time "sitting" in front of the computer but I will try to log on every day and I want to get in on those Tuesday night chats this time too.

If you are reading this and you want to buddy up please let me know. I will post my stats when I get home from curves but I have approximately 50 pounds to lose and I just keep going up and down the same 5 pounds never really losing anything over all. I am going with the "D's" this time - Desire, Dedication, Determination and Discipline! (I always forget the Discipline - I need to post that on my mirror)

Does anyone have any tips that really work?

Ok - I weighed in yesterday and I am down 4 pounds and 3 inches in 5 wseeks. The numbers seem so small in relation to the effort required to get thm - I am going to see the positive - the numbers are going down!

Since I have been working very hard, and the numbers are going down so slowly, I will need to be really careful about the goals that I set for myself. I don't think anything higher than 1 pound per week is going to be reasonable for me. If the weight does start coming off faster then I can re-evaluate but in the meantime I will stick to a one pound goal. Of course I start a new drug on Monday plus I have to increase one of my current ones so even a pound might be too much. I am aiming for the sky but I will have to be realistic and know that a pound a week is going to be a big deal for me.

I went to curves yesterday - I didn't do a workout - just weighed and measured. I will do my third workout of the week today. So my "starting weight is 183.5. That is

Just dropping in on your journal and saying hi. Congrats on the weightloss and I think that you have a reasonable and great goal set for yourself w/ the 1 pd a week. You are well on your way. GOOD JOB!!

Hi,

Oh yes, we want those pounds to just jump off of us don't we. I sure do!!!

Congrats on your 4 pounds and 3 inches. I think once your body gets used to exericing it will give it up faster. But keep on keeping on. Hope those meds don't interfer too much.

Hi and welcome back!!!

I know how you feel, i think everyone does about wanting the weight to just fall off, but as I've heard someone tell my sis...."we didn't put the weight on over night, so it won't come off over night." Just need to keep that in mind, and keep working hard to get to the goals we are striving for!!

Good luck and keep up the great work!!

CONGRATS on the loss!!!!!

Hi

Just wanted to check in and see how things were going!!

4 pounds is 4 pounds, no matter how long it took you to lose it. Hopefully the meds will stabilize your mood and it will start to come off a little faster. Here's to hoping.

Have a great day.

I have been posting in the journal at fit dat and forgot to post here! From now on I will copy the journal over to here every day so you can all see it.

Here is one - November 25.

Well I am pleased to report a pound loss from yesterday. Of course it is probably just a fluctuation - I am pretty used to those, but at least it is in the right direction.

Yesterday was difficult. I was out and about doing running around, getting a gift for today's wedding, plus doing some banking. I was hungry but hadn't packed a lunch so I bought a box of Nutribar meal replacements at the drugstore and had one of those for lunch. I did make it to Curves - towards the end of the day - but I was SOOOO hungry by then! I was very tempted to just pick up a fast meal (the craving was English style fish and chips) but I went to Zehrs instead and bought a barbequed chicken. I did buy the potato wedges for my husband but I only had 4 very tiny ones - just to taste.

Oh yeah, the bank had a little table of free coffee, pastries, cakes and cookies. FREE FOOD! Sweets!!! I was so good - I didn't have any (just a coffee) I was so proud of myself!

So I have posted all my food from yesterday here (including the 3 glasses of wine last night). Uh oh - maybe that is the weight loss - dehydration from the wine - that has happened before. Oh well - I will just be an energizer bunny and keep going....

SO - I went and had my nails filled. It is an expense that we cannot afford (35 dollars just for a fill) but it makes me feel so good and I really did deserve a treat. I had the nails put on after 2 weeks of going to curves 3 times per week. This is part of my motivation (I am using everything I can for motivation)

well the wedding last night really blew the cazlories. I thought I was doing pretty well but I had too much wine.

I had the chicjken dinner which was really delicious. There was a chocolate mousse for dessert which was wonderful too. Then later on I had a tiny piece of cake. I drank quite a bit of wine and lots of coffee (I was driving) with CREAM!

I did dance quite a bit so I am hoping thatr takes care of some of it - but I will have to work extra hard this week!

I was supposed to go to the opera with Mum todazy - my niece Cavelle (she's only 13) is actually IN the opera! I have never been to an opera and I was looking forward to it. Then Mum fell and split her leg open - needing 11 stitches. She lives an hour and a half away and I really need to go and stay with her

I have to get my curves stuff - there is a curves near her and I can probably work out there

But my poor niece is expecting family at the opera to see her! This is the last show (it has been playing for a month and all the shows were sold out)

My husband is sick in bed with the flu, my mother-in-law was supposed to go to the opera yesterday but she is ill and was at the hospital last night with infected bronchitis. Of course she lives 2 and a half hours away in another direction!

So right now I am trying to get someone to go to the opera and I have to get the tickets to them - then I am heading off to be with my mum

I hope to be able to sign on from Mum's - I don't know how long I will be there

Well I am home again and very disappointed to find out I have put on a pound!

I started the lithium on Monday so that is probably why but it is a let down just the same.

I am proud of myself for sticking with the curves though - I went to the Curves in Burlington on Monday - it is close to my mother's - so I wouldn't miss a workout. We ate VERY healthy - no rich foods, small portions and well balanced. BUT I just knew I would put on weight. I didn't eat any of the sweets that were offered and kept all portions to a very small size.

I DID relaxd a lot - read a book while I was there, but I also did a bit of work - cleaned the eaves and stuff so it wasn't a completely lazy time.

Mum isn't doing very well with this leg thing - she banged it so hard when she fell that it split open. She has 11 stitches in it but I really think they skimped on the stitches that there should have been more. Of course my mum is not the type to sit around and keep it up like she is supposed to - she is walking around AND even doing the stairs! While I was there I was able to do stuff for her so she didn't have to be on it as much but I can't be there now until at least Monday.

Today I ahave to catch up on stuff here and tomorrow I have to pack and get to camp. We are taking the Venturers (scouts that are older - age 14 to 17) to Algonquin Park for the weekend. THere will ba a hike on Saturday - we ususally do about 10 to 15km hikes at this camp - so I will get exercise but the food will ba camp food so I will need to be careful. We will be getting back from camp on Sunday at about dinner time and of course I will have all the laundry and stuff to do from that.

So, it will be very busy and of course I am still going to worry about mum.

Last night we had more bad news - Bob, my husband, his aunt was taken to hospital with and aneurysm or embolism - we aren't sure right now because we heard from Bob's mom who was pretty mixed up about it all.

So things are busy and I just started the new meds and I am pretty tired myself. It was a letdown to see the weight go up and I am struggling to get back into a positive frame of mind about it all. I will try to get in and update my journal and food list for the last few days - but a bit later on. Right now I am going to go back to bed for an hour to sleep off some of the meds.

My weight is up almost a pound today! This just isn't fair. I have worked so hard to get it going in the right direction. I will be going to curves around 10am and I will do the weekly weigh on those scales.

I have NOT cheated in any way on the diet part of the equation and i am doing the curves thing 3x per week. I knew that the new medication would put on weight but I was really hoping that I could avoid it with the diet and exercise. It is a really BIG disappointment.

Well, that doesn't mean I am giving up. I will just aim for the best shape I can be in. I am not sure how to measure that since the scales and tape measure will be showing increases and I am so tired all the time from the depression. I guess the only thing I can really track is the number of days that I stick to the plan and the number of workouts that I do. I am still hoping that I will start to see results eventually but it sure isn't looking that way right now.

Yesterday I had a sleep day - I know that doesn't help lose weight since I am not exercising but then I am not eating either. I am finding that I need at least one sleep day a week now. The doctor is hoping that we can get rid of the tiredness if we get the medications combination right but we have tried so many over the years and none have been successful for very long.

Darn! I just want that positive energy to get me back on track. Well I will be going to curves at 10 anyway - maybe the exercise will give me a boost.

Wendy - thanks for dropping in and cheering me on. You are so right - having a cheering section helps with the motivation.

Darcy - thanks for checking! I had forgotten that fit-day journals don't "work" in diettalk

Nancy - thanks for stopping by!

Kelly - thanks to you too!

I will try to get to all your journals too - since I know how much better it makes me feel when you visit mine!

Thanks for the support ladies!

Sorry to hear about all the illnesses in the family!!! I will say a prayer for you and your family!! I hope everyone gets better soon!!

Don't stress about the one lb!!! It could be from all the stress!!! Just work hard at keeping up your workouts and eating and you'll see that number diminish in no time!!!

Keep up the great work!!!

I will start with the good news (well not GREAT news but not bad news anyway). THe 3 pounds that I put on over the camping weekend have come back off so it was just a temporary thing.

Well it has been almost a week since I was able to get in here sand a lot has happened since then. I went winter camping on the weekend and we got 6 inches of snow - it was great! I got lots of exercise - walking and hijing (and burned extra calories just keeping warm!) BUT I was up 3 pounds when I got home. Very disappointing to say the least. I did eat a couple of granola bars and I had a cup of hot chocolate and one donut but 3 pounds?

When I go home I called my mum and learned that she was hurting more than ever so I repacked my bags and went to stay with her. This time I was just too exhausted to go to Curves (I haven't been all week so I have to go today, tomorrow and Saturday to get my 3 times in). I helped my mum out and took her to the doctors where we found out that the leg is now infected. So she has been given a very strong oral antibiotic as well as a presription antibiotic cream for her leg. When changing the Dressing on Tuesday 3 of the stitches had disolved and came out - even though the tear hasn't healed yet. It is a mess.

I stayed with Mum until yesterday afternoon and I am going back tomorrow morning (after curves) but had to come home for a day because I just have so much to do here. Today will be a mad day so I can't stay on the computer very long. There is just too much to do. Saturday is the day our family is celebrating Christmas at my brother's house. It is potluck so I have things to prepare, gifts to get, wrapping to do and I have to help mum with all hers as well. I just hope her leg is better. I will call her soon to find out. The doctor had said if it isn't improved by tomorrow she will need the have intraveinous antibiotics.

All this is really taking a toll on me health wise too. I am physically exhausted and gettting really depressed. It is very hard to keep "cheerful" with my mum because I am so depressed but if she knew it was affecting me she would worry and she wouldn't get better.

So what did I do on the way home yesterday? (someone shoot me please) I bought a box of chocolate macadamia nut clusters and ate almost the whole box! I had been good for so long but I just gave in and pigged out. Why do I do that? It didn't make me feel any better that is for sure.

Anyway, I am going to update fitday now, then I will have to get my stuff done. I don't expect to be back online until next week sometime which is a shame because I really value the support I get here.

There really isn't any point in joining challenges and all that until I can be online regularly again.

Good morning

Just a quick entry before I leave for Mum's. Her leg does not seem to be getting better so they may have to use IV antibiotics. That means I will likely be outh there all week next week too. We have our family Christmas tomorrow and I am trying to prepare for that too.

Anyway I have some GOOD NEWS!!! My weight is at 182.0 this morning! I did make it to curves last night even in the snow and I have been already this morning. I need to go tomorrow to get my 3 times in this week because I felt so lousy at the beginning of the week that I didn't go. Sionce I will be at my Mum's, will have to go to the one out there again. I am so glad that they let you do that!

Yesterday I got a lot of stuff done here which is good since it had all piled up while I was at Mum's. All the gifts for tomorrow are wrapped and ready to go. I am taking a cheese and cracker tray and a meat tray - it will be a buffet of appetizers so I should be able to be pretty good. I am doing a veggie and dip tray for my mum and my son and his girlfriend are bringing a fruit tray. The only real sweets will be a pecan pie and I can resist that.

This will just be the extended family Christmas since most of the family is with in-laws this year or travelling over Christmas. I will be having a quiet (I hope) Christmas at home with just my immediate family on Christmas day and the in-laws are coming here on Boxing day. Yesterday I managed to just about finish my shopping - online! So all that is left is some under wear and socks and magazines and lotto tickets for the stockings. It is a big relief to get that out of the way - I hate parking lots at this time of year!

Well I must go but I just had to share the good news! My weight is down again. I can't let myself get too excited but it sure feels good to see the numbers go down.

I probably won't be back until next week.

Have a safe and happy trip, Leslie! WHOO HOO on your weight loss! You are on your way!

I am sending up prayers that your mom's leg will heal soon and that she'll be good as new very soon. Take care and be safe....

Hi girl,

Sorry to hear your mum isn't getting better, but my prayers are with her and your family! I hope you have an enjoyable time with your family this weekend, and glad to hear the weight is again back down.

Keep up the wonderful work and talk to you next week!!

Thanks DJ and Demo girl! The support and encouragement really help!

I went to Mum's - and the leg isn't gettting any worse. We did go to the family Christmas dinner (and I did eat too much - more later) and we all had a great time. My sister took my mum home so I was able to come home and be with Bob - that was nice. We stayed up until after 1am just talking and catching up. I don't know if I mentioned it or not but I am deaf and can't really use the phone so email is the way I communicate. I have a blackberry so I can have access to email all the time but it certainly isn't as easy to talk that way. So my husband and I had a lot of catching up to do!

Anyway, the dinner was a buffet of finger food. I really tried to be good - I had fruit and veggies and no bread but the meat and cheese! THere was a baked brie in pastry with granny smith apple slices. I made sure that I ate more apple than brie to tone down the guilt trip! My brother got lamb loin chops (my favourite) cut thinly aqt the butchers and barbequed them just perfectly. I had 3. They are not very big - about 3 bites each and they were so good - but 3 was probably piggish. My sister brought chicken skewers with satay dipping sauce and I only had a small one of those. I stayed away from too much cheese but my cousin brought mini bruchetta pieces and I had several of those. All that, 3 light beers and 2 chocolates rounded out my meal. I didn't have the pecan pie so I had cream instead of milk in my coffee.

I still weigh the same this morning (I went for a long walk with hubby and the dogs yesterday) but I know I will have to watch myself the rest of this season.

Mum seems to be taking things a bit better now. She is going back to the doctor today because the leg still isn't healing well. She is a bit more optimistic about her trip though. She is supposed to be going to the UK to visit her sister for Christmas but she has been afraid that her leg would prevent her from going. I guess a lot will depend on what the doctor says today. It has been 2 and a half weeks since she smashed the leg and the wound still has not closed over - it still weeps and bleeds every day. There are only 2 stitches left out of 11 - the rest have either disolved or pulled out. I was going to go out there today but she is getting someone else to take her to the doctors and I really do have to stop fussing over her so much. She is a very independent person and I just worry that she is doing too much and her leg is not getting time to heal - but I still need to let her do it her way I guess.

If she can't go to the UK we will try to get her to come to us for Christmas instead.

So - I was BAAD with my eating - but I still did my curves workout 3 times last week - and my wright hasn't changed. That gives me incentive to get back on track and keep going. I am still aiming to be less that `180 by the end of the year so better get back on track to do it. My mood is better now but I am still so very tired. I am just going to let things happen as they need to. I had to nap Saturday and I slept a lot yesterday so if I need a nap this aftrnoon I will do it. I do want to get some Christmas decorations out though. I haven't done any of that yet and Christmas is only 2 weeks away - YIKES!!! Just saying that made me realize how close that is.

Anyway I must get going - sitting here isn't burning any calories!

Can anyone tell me how to get rid of the sad face on my journal? What a depressing thing to have there!

Well mum went to the doctors and got bad news. She has to cancel her trip to England. That is so depressing - she was really looking forward to it. Not only that but the doctor says it will likely be 4 more weeks before the leg heals and she is arranging to have a VON nurse visit every day now. Poor mum is really upset and I am just too wiped to go back out there right now.

I slept all day today. I just meant to have a nap with a hot water bottle (TOM came for an early visit and that ALWAYS brings me down). My mood is spiralling downwards and I didn't get out to Curves. I guess there is still time now if I really push but I just want to go back to bed - or raid the fridge.

I have eaten sensibly today so far (not hard to stay away from tmeptation if yoiu are sleeping) but I really want something sweet now. TOM at work again there! Does anyone else have any tricks they use for those monthly cravings?

Hey, Leslie.... how are you today? Hope you are feeling better! I was lucky when I used to have my TOM, I didn't have the cramps and feeling so bad like a lot of ladies do. My daughters had it worse than I did and heating pad or hot water bottle always helped.

I don't have TOM anymore, but I still get sweet cravings a lot and one thing that you could do is sugar free pudding or SF jello with free cool whip. Do you have those in Canada? Another thing I do to help curb a sweet tooth while sitting at the computer, is hard suckable candy. I enjoy "lemon drops" and there are 4 in a serving and they are very satisfying with very few sugar grams and calories in total. You might want to look at something like that. Cherry life savers are another favorite of mine. There are lots of SF pie concoctions that you can make out of SF FF pudding, too.... you just have to be creative depending on what you are craving at the moment.

Hope you find something that helps you!

How's your mum doing? I hope she's feeling better by now and is going to spend Christmas with you. It's a shame she can't go across to the UK, but hopefully will get better and can go another time.

Take care and have a great Wednesday!

Well it is Friday today and I have only been to Curves once so far this week! That means I have to go today and tomorrow to make up my 3x this week. I was out at Mum's Wednesday and yesterday and that seems to be taking a lot out of me. I need to start remembering that i am off SICK and should be taking it a bit easier than usual - not stressing myself out. It doesn't seem so much like stress when I am doing stuff for my mum - just when I get home I am a basket case. I seem to be having trouble switching gears. At mum's, she has a list and everything is organized and I can just do stuff without thinking and planning it. When I get home everything is jumbled up and I can't seem to sort things to save my life. I think that is pasrt of the disease - the muddledly feeling. I need to get a list together and organize what has to be done but I don't seem to be able to get it together for some reason. Oh well - one step at a time and concentrate on someting that I can do - get to Curves and eat peoperly.

I have not been eating properly either. I am so very tired - exhausted really - that I have been turning to sugar (I ate the chocolates that were supposed to go in the Christmas stockings!) and that is not a good thing. I know that sugar just slams me down again but I don't seem to be able to stay away.

I went for a nice lunch with the group from owrk and that went really well. We went to a stir fry place called Fire and Ice which is one of my favourite places. You pick your protien from the menue and then line up - buffet style - to pick a load of veggies. There are tons of veggies and stuff to choose from and then you pick a sauce hand it in to the kitchen and get yourself a salad to eat while your main course is cooked. Everything is stir fried and served to you over your choice of rice. Of course I overload on the veggies and there is enough for a meal the next day as well. Plus it is all healthy stuff so there is no guilt! There is no dessert menu, the dinner included one scoop of vanilla ice cream or rasperry sherbert. Perfect - no temptations.

So because I ate so much at lunch I didn't eat dinner at Mum's Wednesday night. I had cereal for breakfast on Thursday and a bacon and tomato sandwhich for lunch.l Then I came home and ate the leftover from Wednesday's lunch. BUT I was still so starving and tired that I ate all the chocolates that were dupposed to go in the stockings PLUS 2 servings of a frozen (NOT low cal) dessert! I am so ashamed that I do this stuff. I went to bed and really tried to sleep - I was so tired - but I ended up having to get up and take one of my pills.

My weight is down a bit (.2) but I know it won't stay there.

Anyway - time to toughen up and get back on the wagon. How many times do we fall off before we can stay on? I am going to curves as soon as I finish here and then I will try to make my list of stuff and get some stuff done. Of course tonight is the grand opening of my husband's dealership so I have to go there and mingle (of course there will be wine and cheese etc. there) and tomorrow I have my nephews coming to stay over and make gingerbread houses (an annual tradition). THen there is a CHristmas brunch (buffet of course - a really NICE buffet) for Bob's work on Sunday.

I still haven't put a tree up or anything yet! no decorations or aything! I still don't know what the plans are for Christmas day either. I am having Bob's family here for Boxing Day (between 18 and 22 people) abd I have offered to have my family on Christmas but nobody has confirmed yet. I really must find out becuase it will make a big difference in the amount of stuff I have to do next week and I think I will have to go back to my mum's for at least a few days. It is too bad she doesn't live closer - it is an hour and a half drive each way which makes it a bit far for regular travel.

DJ - thank you for dropping in. It is so nice to have someone to answer to and who is there to cheer me on. I have tried the hard candy thing but can't seem to stop myself from eating the whole bag! Now I try to sit and knit (busy hands so I can't eat) and that is helping a bit - but doesn't help the cravings. For some reason I can't seem to eat just a little bit like most normal people. I either eat none at all or pig out!

Anyway - it is off to Curves for me - that is one thing I can say I have stuck with so I am not giving up!

I always ask myself the same question about falling off the wagon. I think it is a normal part of the weight loss and new way of eating process. Its hard to make a change in the way we eat all at once and just expect ourselves to stick with the change and never fall. I myself was on ww in the past lost almost 50 pounds in 6 months with much hard work only to regain it all and then some. It was so depressing. I felt like a failure every time i slipped and was so hard on myself. I think we can be our own worst enemies and judges sometimes. This time around i plan on being a whole lot nicer to myself and giving myself credit for any efforts or good change i make no matter how small. Dont be too hard on yourself, your doing great and are human.

Well here we are on Monday again. I made it through the weekend but I wan't that good with my food choices. Friday we had a grand opening for the dealership where my husband works so there was food and wine all evening. I really did stick to the healthier choices but I ate too much and I had 2 glasses of wine instead of just one. I thik being in that kind of environment makes me nervous so I eat and drink more.

Then Saturday was a very depressing day all around. The power steering on my truck decided to give up so I couldn't bring my nephews to do the gingerbread houses. Plus I had really wanted to take them for a helicopter ride at the dealership but their parents didn't think it was safe.

I think everything is catching up with me now. The new meds are not working and I am sliding back into a depression. I am trying so hard to be up for others so I don't depress them as well but it is really difficult. I think the one thing that helps is being able to make myself go to Curves and trying to lose weight. At least I have some goals to focus on

I weighted yesterday and I was at 179.8. My year end goal! BUT - I knew it was only a blip. I think it was a sign that I can get through the holidays without putting more weight on. This morning I am back to 181.4 and I have another buffet dinner to go to tonight. It is a Chinese buffet and I have already planned my choices - I just have to stick with the plan. Lots of green tea, lots of salad and vegetables and only 2 trips to the buffet. I will use the smaller plates and my dessert trip will be for the wonderful fresh melons and pineapple they have

Anyway I am going to update again tomorrow so we will se how well I did. Having someone to answer to really helps me stay on track

Hello Lesley, congrats for weight loss! Don't think it was just a blip, I am sure you are losing weight! :)

Keep on writing, I love your journal... :)

Have a nice week!

Oh, I forgot... Don't trust your weight too much... Tape measurement will do more acurate, I think. I decide to measure my waistline to know my progress. Yeah, I will weigh-in but not once a week, maybe when I lose 2.5 inches then I will weigh-in... no matter what scale says, I know I become slimmer and hotter ^^

Keep up!

Well here it is on Tuesday and my weight is back down a bit more - 180.4. I have even updated mjy ticker. I have my monthly weigh and measure at Curves on Friday and that is the REAL test!

I had a bad day yesterday though. I didn't go to curves - I didn't do anything - just went back to bed for the whole day. That means I didn't go to the buffet either so I guess it wasn't ALL bad news. I just hate being so depressed all the time. I do feel a bit better today though and coming here and seeing support from people really is a big help. I think this is the one thing I can get up enoughenthusiasm to do so I am really hanging in. I am going to start a new journal for the New Year and I hope to be below 180 pounds. I am setting my signature today to include my mini goals as I have seen others do. It seems to work for them so I will try it too.

That is what I love so much about coming here. We are all in this together. I can read journals and see others going through the same problems and also all the problems that are way bigger than mine! It is so inspiring to see how hard people work at losing weight and getting in shape in spite of everything else. Life doesn't stop just because you are focussed on a goal - it keeps throwing challenges (and buffet restaurants) in your face. Seeing others struggling and overcoming obstacles really helps and I like to try and help out by cheering them on!

I am starting to see this forum like an extended family of friends who are there to support each other. I know I don't have time to get to everyone's journal and not everyone has time to get to mine - BUT we all help each other out and pop in wherever and whenver we can.

Anyway - enough rambling - I have to update my signature with all my goals and then I have some journals to visit.

Titinpus - thanks for the kind words. You are right that the weight doesn't always show the best measure. I get the weight, measurements and fat mass testing done at Curves once a month. I am going to start putting those measurements on my signature too - maybe they will be more motivating there (I currently have them on my bathroom mirror!)

Good morning, Leslie.... sorry to hear you are so down, but taking a day for resting isn't a bad thing. It might just be that your body needed it... it's hard feeling depressed, though. Have you talked to your dr. about it? There are a lot of good meds out there that can really help with the depression a lot of us suffer with. Don't discount it if you haven't talked to your dr. about it. I think a lot of people think they can manage it on their own, and sometimes they can.... but it might be really helpful for you to try an antidepressant if this is something that isn't going away and seems to be with you on a regular basis...

Sorry for going on... just was worried a bit. Take care of yourself and have a great Tuesday!

Thanks DJ

I am depressed and it is something I have to deal with. I have Bipolar disorder and have had it all my life. The ups are not too bad for me - in fact I quite enjoy them - I get a lot of motivation and I get a lot done. But the downs are really hard. We - my doctor and I - have tried and continue to try many many drugs. There are lots out there but they don't seem to have any lasting effect with me. Of course all of them cause weight gain! So I am trying to battle the depression and the weight but it isn't easy. Somedays I just need to do nothing but sleep but I have to make sure I don't stay there for weeks on end! I have had that problem quite literally before so I really try to do something each day now.

I am happy with the fact that my weight seems under control - even if my moods aren't. I know that the depression will pass on it's own eventually I just hate the day-to-day struggle. There is so much to do this time of year too and it just isn't getting done. I finally got the tree up but it isn't decorated yet. THere are boxes of ornaments scattered all over the place. The outside lights are not up yet either. I did write all my Christmas cards today so I hope to get them in the mail tonight - maybe they will make it??? I hope!

Anyway I was supposed to go in to work tomorrow to visit (I am off on sick leave because of the depression) but I don't think I will make it. I just feel too down and out to make the trip. Perhaps I will feel more up to it on Thursday. I have to make some cookies to take in - they really love my shirtbreads and it gives me a reason to bake - but nothing in the house to eat because I give them all away!

I have to start planning Boxing Day as well. My inlaws are coming over so I have to at least have the house decorated and cleaned! At least most of my shopping is done and I just got the paperwork cleaned up and the filing done today so I am making a start. When Bob gets home I will go to Curves and mail the cards then I will try to get back here for my first online chat!

I find this forum so supportive, inpiring and motivating. Even when I am feeling down, I can look at someone's journal and see progress - that is really uplifting!

Got to go and finish the filing and start dinner before Bob gets home so I can go to Curves!

Hi Lesley, I am a very moody person, and sometimes I know I am depressed. I never see a doctor for this problem or take medicines. But when I take a online survey about this and my result is 98% depressed :(

But I found that exercising help so much to makes my mood goes better. I feel great, I looking myself... my body looks more slimmer, my skin more glowing and makes my smile even brighter, hehehhehe... :D

I know you are exercising too... I hope it will help brighten up your day ^^
Don't be too hard to yourself, take care and have a nice day...

Well here it is Wednesday afternoon already and I am just getting up. The scales said 180.4 at 6:30 this morning but they say 179.2 now and I REALLY like that. I have to be honest though since I am posting to fitday in the MORNING so I have to go with the 180 for today. It is looking very good for reaching my first mini goal by next week though!

I logged on to the chat for the first time last night and the time just flew by. It is nice to you that we are not alone in our struggles - not only weight-wise but also with mundane things like Christmas gift ideas! We had fun last night and I am aiming to be a regular now.

Beth - I got the message last night after chat but I was honestly just too tired to try any of it then. I will be going to the message next and trying to get my signature sorted out properly. I would really like to start a new journal with a positive start for the new year. 2007 is the year I will finally reach my goal weight - to STAY there!

Hi Lesley, to show your ticker on forum, use bbCode, not html code ^^

Keep up :)

Hi Lesley,

Thank you for visiting my journal, and yes, it was good meeting you in chat last evening also.

I see you have been doing a lot of Mom sitting as well. I do hope her leg is healing better now.

I had a friend years back that suffered with Bi-polar disorder, and the meds really do mess you up if you are trying to lose weight. But it can be done. It just take s more determination on your part, and a stricter discipline in your behaviors, but you can and will reach goal if you stick with it!

I wish you all the best. Hang in there! :)

Well I missed logging in again yesterday but I did do my workout! And I went to curves today as well so there are my 3 times this week (whew).

The good news is that I have lost 2.5 pounds overall in the last month (today was my weigh and measure day at Curves) and the better news is that I lost 5 pounds of FAT! YEAH!!! That means that I gained 3 pounds of muscle but that is ok since that will help me lose more fat. It looks like the hard work is finally starting to pay off! All I have to do now is STICK WITH IT!!!

Sandy - thanks for dropping by AND for the note that it can be done! I haven't met anyone who has been on these meds that has been sucessful at losing weight so hearing from you makes me more determined!

Titinpus - thanks for the info - I will update my signature too! - Hey!!!! it worked!

Hi Lesley,

:cheer: CONGRATULATIONS - 2.5 LBS OF UGLY FAT GONE!!!!:cheer:

Congratulations also for getting in to Curves 3 times this week! That takes a lot of determination, but you proved you have it when you really look for it.

Keep up the good work-outs!! :)

way to go ! what a SUPER gift to give yourself :D

Hi Lesley,

Congrats on the 2.5lbs loss of Yucky Fat Gone thats Awsome!! Your Doing a Great Job!


Keep up the Great Work,

Cathy

I am back after being not very good over the holidays

I wasn't too bad - at least I didn't think I was. I ate too much and drank too much but not as muxch as last year or anything - and I am still up 5 pounds! Boy all that work to lose 2.5 pounds in 2 months and put it back on doubled in 2 days! YIKES! Well I have learned from it - DO NOT CHEAST like that again!

I am really hoping that since it went on all at once it will come back off all at once - or at least fastr than the last 2 pounds!

I am back on track today though - I did my workoput at curves and I am going to stay on track this time.

I have to drive to Elliott lake tomorrow (5.5 hours) and back again on Friday so I will hopefully find a curves up there where I can get a workout in. All that sitting in the car won't be good for me and we are visiting a "house of food!". My stepson's grandmother just loves to spoil us with food when we go there and it is really hard to refuse when she has gone to so much trouble just for us. Still I am DETERMINED to stay on track and not slide again.

Hi Lesley,

I am afraid to even find out what I've gained over this past month! Eating was not good when my hubby was in hospital. It got even worse when I was away from home so long sitting with my Mom, and then the Christmas food and treats that were given as gifts. I guess I was in a mood to make the most of it because come January 2, I'll be dieting again (or yet!).

Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful day! :)

I think it is almost inevitable to gain a bit over the holidays, just take it in stride, and take it right back off again. It is probably mostly water weight anyways.

I hope you have a fabulous New Year and that all your dreams come true.

Hello all! I just have to share how proud I am that I am sticking to the 3x a week at Curves. It may not seem like much - there are those who get out and exercise everyday - but I have stuck with this for 3 months! In spite of everything I have not missed a week of going ast least 3 times for a whole month. When I had to stay with my mom for a bit I found a Curves near her and went there - today I just got back from Elliot Lake and I found the Curves there and did a workout. The pounds and inches have to give up some time and let go of my body. I am working hard - TRYING to eat sensibly and I feel "firmer". THere is still a whole lot of joggling going on but I feel that on the whole I am firming up. It will be interesting to see what the scales say on Jan 1 - I don't think I will make my goal though of 179. No matter - I am still going to try.

We had a lovely Christmas. We went to my sister's house for dinner Christmas day and of course I ate too much of all the wrong stuff! Then on Boxing Day I had my husband's side of the family over here and repeated the eating and drinking thing! I took a day off and slept most of it (but DID make it to Curves) and then drove to Elliott Late on Thursday. It is a 5 and a half hour drive but my stepson doesn't get to see his grandmother that often and he is the only family that she has. Plus she always spoils us (read - too much to eat and drink - kind of a theme thing happening here?)

Anyway I got up this morning and went for a workout in Elliott Lake before I came home and I will go tomorrow for my 3 times this week.

Tomorrow I am going to start the clean-up thing. I want to get things ORGANIZED as they go away this year so we know how to pull out only what we want without going through tons of boxes. I got some labels at the dollar store and I am writing down each item as it goes into the containers. I will also put the boys' ornaments in their own containers in case they want them at their own places next year.

Once things are put away, I can set up my exercise room! See right now all the boxes are in there and you can't get to anything. Once it is cleaned up (the goal is BEFORE New Years) then I can get the equipment set up again and my husband and I can set our goals for the New Year.

I am still going to do my urves 3 or more times per week, but I am going to add some stuff at home too. I have videos and a bun and thigh rocker (body by Jake) plus a york universal weight machine, a stationary bike, a small step machine, an ab rocker and a gazelle (I REALLY like the gazelle). I am one of those people who gets a new exercise machine and uses it for a while and then it collects dust in the basement. I told Bob, my husband, that we don't need any new equipment - we need to use what we have. So if we can get that room looking inviting with all the equipment tuned up we will have no excuses to miss our goals.

I haven't set my goals yet - I think I am waiting to see what is there and how we can set it up so all of it can be used without having to move stuff around all the time. I also want to get the TV set up in there for the videos (I love the music for Richard's "sweating to the oldies!)

Oh - and for Christmas my darling hubby bought me the under-the-cupboard CD player that I wanted. We have no room for a radio or anything anywhere but I want to put music on and dance around as I do cleaning or whatever. ANYTHING to keep the burn going! So now I am getting out my old CDs and getting ready to rock!

I will start a NEW JOURNAL for the New Year and update it with all my goals - THIS is going to be the year I finally get healthy!