You know when something just clicks and your mind just is like yeah I get it now. Well, I was on my morning walk. I am thinking about the fact that for eight days straight I have walked first thing in the morning like some people brush their teeth first thing. I think about the words like dedication, habitual, and desire. I put them all together and Bamm. I know that skinny people may have some supposed better metabolism, but lets face it. They have made different habits that they are dedicated to because they have a strong desire to either stay that way or never get this way. So I ask myself,why do I not want it as bad. Why do I find a security or contentment to live this way? It is only in my control to make the right choices for my body to be where it needs to be. It is only my choices that allows my judgement to become cloudy. Like the many times I eat thinking that it won't show up on me right away. I have been changing some habits but not enough to make a drastic difference. I exercise regularly now. I may not go all out but I get it done. Now if I could adopt the skinny persons mentality of desire. I only need to eat for nourishment. Gradual change of habits are developing. Among the self esteem issue add the fact that I expect too much too quick. Patience is another value I am learning to embrace. Bottom line if I don't like the way I feel and I look (which I don't) then I need to become determined to change my eating habits. As of today I have made the verbal contract on the forefront of DT to make the statement that I WILL change the way I look at food and WILL change my eating habits. I am the only one resposible for the way I look and feel and I want to desperately change this now and forever..

wonderful insight ! :D