I've been here before. I've even made it to my goal weight and held it there for over a year. But here I am after just not being able to to stick with my eating plan and work out plan 24.5 pounds over my goal weight. I can't do this to myself.

So my goal is to be back at 165 by 1 June 2007.

My goal for this month is to get back into my shorts [before the season is over]

My goal for this week is to ?

My goal for today is to not over eat and take walk.

So far so good I guess. Today will be my third day back to working out, and eating better. The sudden weight drops that we all experience upon beginning a diet, aren't as big nor do they last long anymore. The trick I have to remember is that at the end of the week, I don't want to see the scale any higher. I have so far stuck to my dailey goal, which mean at this point the weakly goal is holding to. I will get this right.

So my goal is to be back at 165 by 1 June 2007.

My goal for this month is to get back into my shorts [before the season is over]

My goal for this week is to not fail

My goal for today is to not over eat and work out everyday.

Hey there! Welcome back! I was all excited when I saw your name. You can get back to goal! I know you can! :cheer:

Corinna

The yo-yo is a dangerous thing--but y'know what? You can beat it! You're on your way. Hang in there, VTMom.

--Azure

First thank you so much for word of support Coinna and Azure, I sure do seem to really need them. I fail with both my weekly goal and my daily goal yesterdayX-( I don't even know what happened, before I could blink the day was gone and I hadn't work out, which by and of its self is bad enough but than, as it got latter and for one reason or another dinner got latter I found myself eating pizza and ice cream and calling it dinner at ten last night:( When dieting was going good for me, and my weight was under control, I was under control. That seem to the piece I am missing right now. I just can't seem to find my control.

Oh well today is a new day, and a better day. I am going to spend it finding out where I put that control, and once I find it I swear I will never put it away again.

So my goal is to be back at 165 by 1 June 2007.

My goal for this month is to get back into my shorts [before the season is over]

My goal for this week is to not fail

My goal for today is to not over eat and work out everyday.

Hi vtmom. You are right today is a new day and a better day!
When you dont want to work out, just doing a five minute walk or a minute of crunches, while they arent much. If you do even that, that will bring a sense of control. When you dont feel in control doing a minute of something you didnt want to do will help.

Great attitude! Sure does seem that scale goes up easier than down. But you have terrific goals. You are focused and will see results.

Yesterday was better, even with going to the fair last night. To begin with the dog and got a work out yesterday, I took him with me and we hike to falls in our area giving us a good hour and 40 minutes of up hill, down hill, climb over that tree, and jump that brook. I felt great but tiered when we got back to the truck. The best part for me, was that after not really working out in months My time was only off by four minutes.

I knew that we were going to fair last night, so I planned for it and keep my food intake low all day. I didn't do to bad at the fair either, one piece of maple candy, and half a bread dough, and four french fries.

I am definitely feeling more cofident today. After all I have won this battle before, that is no reason I can't do it again :D

So my goal is to be back at 165 by 1 June 2007.

My goal for this month is to get back into my shorts [before the season is over]

My goal for this week is to not fail

My goal for today is to not over eat and work out everyday.

Well done!!! You planned ahead and were prepared!

Well not so good yesterday with the eating. I went way over board. We had a big family picnic, and than cap the night off with everyone at the fair, and I don't need to tell you that I over did it. However I was good about my work out. I did my weights and stretch in the morning before going to family thing, and than I walked from the fiar grounds up to where we have the picnic, and good rugged 6 mile walk :D So I will forgive myself for eating more than I should, and remember that it was just one day. Today my life return to normal. Oh and I have to remember to buy myself a new pair of sneakers.

So my goal is to be back at 165 by 1 June 2007.

My goal for this month is to get back into my shorts [before the season is over]

My goal for this week is to not fail

My goal for today is to not over eat and work out everyday.

I was happy with my work yesterday on my diet. I ate a good breakfast even though we went out. I had one egg and a dry english muffin. Than because my DH is out of shape I talk him into going for a short walk with me and the dog. After that I got busy with office work and the next thing I knew it was 2pm and time to go to the parents sports meeting. I walked to school a four mile walk from our house. The meeting went long and I didn't get to go dinner until almost 8pm. The thing is I wasn't really even all that hungery than, and so I had a wrap with no dressing. If anything I was to good yesterday. So why did the GD scales climb another half pound this morning X-(

Oh well its a new day and here we go again. I will excessed.

So there have been a lot of ups and downs this week, but I made it through. I can now put the start up and 2 pound behinds me :) This is my life and has been my life for must of the last five plus years. I know how to do this.

Yesterday was a good one, I ate well, and with my son back playing football, life has settled back down to some normalcy. I love schedules.

yay you and yay to schedules! congrats on your loss!! :cheer:

Yesterday was another good day, even though I didn't get a thing done. It was one of those days when you run all over town on little errands. You really do wrap up a lot of things it just doesn't seem that way. I didn't get my walk in :( I had time after dinner last night, but thought it might nice if I could keep my DH up past the news, so I made him go for a ride with me and the dog to look for deer. It seems to be one of the few things I can get him out of his chair to do 8-|

I am hungery every morning now almost as soon as I get out of bed. I consider that to be a good things, since it means that I wasn't stuffing myself the night before. I can feel myself falling back into old good eating habits. This is going to work out.

Yesterday I did a good job with my eating, and I got in one of those walks. Three more times before next tuesday and I will have met my goal. Tiny goals really do help so much. I'll have to watch thing the next couple of days, because I'll be on the road traveling, and that's always hard. It also means I wont have you guys for a couple of days :( I will stick tuff, I just keep seeing myself in my shorts, and thinking about how sh*tty I'll feel when cold weather get here I find that I don't fit into my jeans either.

My DH was trying to be helpful last night and he brought back a pint of my favorite Ben & Jerry's. I really could have killed him, but I know he felt he was being nice. I made a point of telling the boys who hang at our after football that all the ice cream was free territory. Hopefully by the time I get home it will all a memory. I swear last night in bed I could hear Ben and Jerry both whispering to me. Normally having to men at the same asking you to come get them would be flattering :D

So I went a away for a few days, and yuck X-( I did not eat at all well. I was traveling for work, and than at the end a family party. The only good thing I can say, is that I got a lot of exercise. Oh well that is thankfully over, and now I get back to plan old day to day life.

The only good news about the last few day, is that I didn't put any weight on, of course I didn't take any off either 8-|

I knew the scale would be going in the wrong direction when i weighed this week, but I'm still not very happy about it :( As a matter of fact my whole day is pretty well shot and its only 7:20 am. My DH was stumping around the house this morning looking for things I've been tripping over for a year, yelling because his crew hadn't showed up yet, and mainly taking it out on me X-( Now I feel like sh*t.

I'm not sure that forty year old women are suppose to want to run away from home. But I got to tell you some days I fantasie about the idea 8-| I think I have to many men in my life, the DH, two teenage sons, and a crew of fifteen guys, I even have a male dog...what was I thinking :)

Ok I've vented and now I will go on, the day has to get better.

I got through yesterday with a lot of tears and will power on my part. I also told the DH what I thought and went for a nice long hike with the dog. I felt better when I got back, and he said he was sorry :o We took the youngest son out dinner for his birthday last night, I can not believe that both of my babies are 18. When did that happen? I guess that eighteen years is to long to claim that I'm still trying to loose baby weight :D

Today I will be stuck in the office all day. I hate paper work.

Have you ever had one of those days when you feel like your trapped on a treadmill, and the faster you go the faster it goes. Well that was yesterday for me. I was spinning my wheel and getting no where. I knew I was in trouble when the DH took me out to lunch, and I finished eating before him. And this is a guy who doesn't eat his food, he inhales it. All I could think was God calm down, rushing isn't getting anymore done. But it didn't help, I just seemed to wind up a little tighter.

I'm running away from home today, and going shopping all day by myself, with no phone. I am going to practice enjoying the moment.

Enjoy your day shopping! Wish I could join you. ;)

Corinna

yesterday was great and just what I was in of. I did one of my favorite things, I shopped the back to school supplies. I didn't buy anything, but I just love to see what they have come out with that's new.

Considering how screwed up today has been so far, I really needed yesterday. I feel good, but I blew my whole day right off the bat, by ordering an omelette at a breakfast meeting. You'd really think that an all veggie omelette wouldn't be all that bad for you, but I figures it up on FitDay after I got home, and thing came in at around 358 calories 8-| I'd have done better with an egg, bacon and toast. Anyhow the meeting ran long, so I didn't get started with office stuff when I should have, and than I had another meeting, I was late getting to, and I had to hunt some people down for signature. and well you know what I'm going to be working well into the night :(

I don't see myself having any time for a walk, I missed lunch which is ok, because quite honestly I'm just not hungery right now. Oh well, on ward and up ward.

I was busy all day yester, in truth I was right out straight yesterday, and yet it doesn't seem like I got a darn thing done :( Today I can hopefully plan for things, most importantly I can hopefully plan for time for me today. I need about an hour a day, to just get away and go for a walk somewhere, not even so much for the weight loss it helps, but for my mental health.

I was looking at my goal for getting back to my goal weight, and I think that June is giving myself extra time. I think since I was last at my goal weight of 165 in Dec, and since I went back on my diet the first of Aug, it should take about the same amount of time to take the weight back off. So using this line of thought I should be back there by April 8-| At least thinking this way, makes me more hopeful.

I am five day late :( I emotion are going through the roof. I can't take much more of this, and I don't think my DH can either. We had a picnic yesterday afternoon, where I was very careful about what I ate, because I knew we were going out last night. So I spent most of yesterday afternoon watching my son's friends eat amazing amounts of food, and thinking to myself, how hungery I was. I even complain to my DH that I was starving and there was no way I'd make it through the night. We went to a football game last night, and when we got there he asked what I wanted to, and I couldn't eat anything 8-| The thought of any of that food made me feel sick :-&

I don't know, someday I think I should just stay in bed.

It has been a deary weekend around here, and that makes it much tougher to stay away from he food. I have to pat myself on the back however, even thought it was an awful weekend for me emotionally, I didn't blow my diet. If anything I under ate 8-| I have taken off 4.5 pound since beginning once again to work to toward recapturing my goal.

I find that I'm just not as excited about my weight loose this time around as I was the first time. I think I'm disgusted with myself for being back in this place. How could let myself go like this. Even though I'm working very hard at this, I just can't seem to find the motivation I used to have :(

My youngest son just left for his first day, of his last year of high school. I can hardly believe that it's possible. I spent most the day yesterday with my oldest child finishing up buying what will be need to send him off college in a few days. There are going to be some big changes in my life over the next few years.

The DH who has continued to put on weight through out my years of loosing, is giving it a try again :) I hope that this time he can stick to his diet and work out, because I am so afraid of loosing him. As for me and my diet, I'm just plugging along.

TOM finally came for a visit, five days late 8-|

I may have to re-think my goal for August, because it sure acts like shorts weather has already left us :( I'm hating my diet this time around, and what is making it worst for me is that the DH is dieting, and of course he loosing a ton of weight, and picking on me X-( He's done well and stuck to his diet and work out fr two whole days and now he's the expert 8-|

I just keep plugging along. I'm not happy, and I'm tiered out, and right now I just don't care. This isn't just about my diet. This is kind of the way I feel right now about my whole life. I really to find something to look forward to.

I'v been gone all weekend from here, and yes it shoed on the scales :( We took my oldest son off to college for the first time ever, and left him behind a good seven hour drive away. I have been a very good Mother and have fought the earge to call him every five minutes :o I'm actually happy that I have a boy, he was sure a lot easier to move into his dorm, than the girls we were watching. We rushed home form him to make it in time for the other son's game, and than it was off for DH softball tournament.

It has been a weekend full of rushing around, and really sketchy food. The scales may have only crept up mildly, but I feel like sh*t. Way to much greasy heavy food. I also didn't get in the exercise I wanted, and I spent way much time in the car.

I'm thankful to say that week will be one filled with dull plain old routine :)

I got a lot done, and I felt really good once I got going yesterday. However here I am this morning, after doing everything right yesterday, and the scale say that I'm heavier this morning X-( I feel like I'm never going to get this weight back off. I can't believe that I let myself put the weight on and I hate it. I hate myself for letting go like that. Why did I work so hard for nothing?

I do so much better with my diet, when I have control over my day. Yesterday was great, everyone got out here early, and I was interrupted by anyone. I went shopping in peace, and than came home to a empty house to get dinner ready. The troop arrived just as I was putting the food on the table. It was a perfect day :) If only they all could be.

I was looking back over the last month, which is how long I've been back here and working on getting those regained 20 some pounds off. It seems that in the last four weeks I have lost 4 pounds. I guess that a pound a week is really good :D

I can't seem to wrap my feelings around two good days in row. I used to feel very positive when I would go on here, and felt like send help to everyone. Now days I just struggle my way through one day at time, with no positive feelings of my own success. I don't understand :(

I hate this whole thing, and what's the point. Can you see where I'm going this today. I go away for two whole days, and don't write down every last scrape that I put in my mouth, and I put on over four pounds X-( Come off it this is ridiculous. I am so unbelievable sick of my life being controlled by food. The really sick part is that food has even more control over me now than I did back in the good old day when I just didn't care and I let myself get fat.

The only thing between me and saying pass the Ben & Jerry's is my stubborn refusal to let go. Ok so I've vented, and now it back to fighting with food for another day X-(

So life goes on, and one day can be better, the one before was bad. I got myself together yesterday, and I stayed the course. The dog and I even got in a nice long hike, before stopping by our local high school and watching the JV football team play. I feel better today, and hope to be more positive about my weight loss.

Hi Vtmom,
I've just been reading through your journal - you sound like you need a pick-me-up! Seriously - this attitude has got to change! You've only got 20lbs to go!!! Thats great! you must start giving yourself a break and stop crusifying yourself because you slipped back a while ago - otherwise the negativity wil eat up all your effort, and you'll never loose the rest. You've come soooooo far. WELL DONE!
Its importnant to enjoy a diet, or yes, like the treadmill going to fast (good description!) it'll run off and leave you back at the begining again.

I've gone up and down so many times, so I know that feeling of being SO angry, and thinking 'if i only kept going i would have been there by now'. 'if i only did this... or that' is an irritating self defeatest thought! It's pointless too - because the whole time your beating yourself up for past mistakes, your letting all your chances in the NOW slip away.

Te only way I can possibly function nowadays, is to enjoy what I'm doing. I think I have the most complex psyche I've ever come across - if I make any rules for myself I break them immeadiately! So I make challenges instead. such as, this week im going to cut out bread, this week im going to make sure I eat mostly fruit and vegetables... You can make it interesting too. Healthy food is not dull! There are 1000's of amazing recepies, and I love that feeling of eating nutritious fresh greens. I feel so clean and healthy. Rather then a greasy burger, which I can almost feel giving me heart disease. Don't bully yourself, Enjoy your HEALTH - and the weight loss will come on its own. If you want this, you can have it. You've just got to forgive yourself, move on and make some managable, and enjoyable changes.

That's great that your husband is dieting also - however, him shooting you down for your efforts is pretty harsh. Im annoyed that he's wasting this excellent oppertunity for real support and turning it into a competition. But if he wants to play it that way, let the games begin!! - beat the man! lol

You said so yourself, that you are going through lots of changes in your life, maybe go for a complete make over, and clean up your insides too? A diet doesn't mean rationing anymore, or only eating lettuce, and counting calories all day long. I just tend to do all my own cooking, buy fresh ingreidients, and make it my business to try something new everyday. I never tell myself off. If its a pound up one week -fine! I'll just make sure its 2 down by next week! ;).

You are in complete control - you always have been. You just don't realise it!

PLease please, tell your self you're great, and strong and deserve to keep going!
sorry if im coming across like an arsehole by the way, I have all good intentions really- but You're almost there!!! just seize the moment and make it to the finish line! It'll take time, of course, but every lb counts!
You sound amazing, and you're stuborn, use it!

much love, and hope you're kicking ass soon! I'll come pop in again some other week - and Im betting you a tenner that you'll be down some!
take care, enjoy your walks, Daisy xxxxx

Thank you so much Daisy for the kick in the butt [you'd make a good drill sargent :D ]Your timing couldn't have been better for me. I was truly thinking about calling this journal quites. I couldn't seem to find the motivation to think of something to write, let alone type out the words.

But your right I am stubborn, and I will not let weight conquer me. I've been at goal before and stayed there happily, so there is no reason that I can't get back to my goal. I will look only forward now, no more regrets [Ok once in while :o ]

Thats wonderful vtmom!
Im so glad you took that message well (it was kill or cure :D)
You'll do great. I hear the last 10lbs are the worst to get off - and we're in the same boat!
so all the best, and keep kicking!
later, Dais x