Its truely been too long. A lot has changed with me in the course of 8 months that I haven't unpdated. I moved out of the dorms into an apartment. I have a wonderful fiance, and I changed my major to Journalism and started a local magazine.

On thing that hasn't improve though has been my health habits. The are worst then they have ever been before. I am constantly eating out (influence of my boyfriend) my diet is horrible. I rarely exercise since moving off campus. I started to heavily smoke again. Stress got the better of me and I pick up the habit once again, even though I knew better. I am at a pack a day, if not more. Hopefully I can make some long term lifestyle improvements.

Hi :wave: & :welcome: ( back )

here is to healthier choices :water:

Whoa, glad you are here but what alot of stress you have been under. But you really need to get rid of some of those bad habits.

Hope you find encouragement and support here!!!

You can do it!!!

I haven't been able to bring myself to make changes. I have a terrible sinus problem right now, I have finals from summer, and other worries. The last thing I want to do is make changes. ARRRRRGGG!!!! I have been able to do some very small things though. I have been drinking more water and have started to take a vitamin B stress complex and I haven't been eating out. Doesn't mean though that I have exactly been eating healthy. But I have decided to take this step by step, and I am happy with the fact that so far I have taken it upon myself to cook as home. Plus my roommates are happy that there is actually homecooked meals available for once. Being a college student, you start to appreciate that.

Hi Vulgarian,little steps taken turn in to big steps later slow and steady wins the race you can do this if you really choose to,its your choice and your the only one that can make it for you.Wtg on starting to cook at home rather than eating out you will save yourself lots of calories there.Water in place of soda or whatever else the staple there is is excellent too,helps to flush them nasty toxins out of your system thats great.You will notice changes even will small steps taken.Its when we try to change everything all at once that we set ourselves up for failure,you are on the right path just keep moving forward.

Your ATTITUDE is the wind beneath your wings.
Tranform your attitude from negative to possitive,
and you will finally realize your full potential.
-unknown

If you don't dare to begin
you don't stand a chance
of getting there.
-unknown

So my plan hasn't been going so great. I am still smoking. I ate lunch at Wendy's because I was sick and didn't feel like cooking. I spent last night drinking way too much and spent most of the am hours and this morning vomiting. I guess I need to regroup and find out why I am sabotageing myself from even beginning.

Well, my classes are offically over. I have a week and a half before I start fall semester. Meaning I have a week and a half to get myself on a schedule. Not that I want a strick "I can only eat this at this time" but a big problem of mine is time management. What I learn last year is the key is a good class schedule. I made the mistake last year scheduling all my classes during lunch so I couldn't focus too grandly in class because I was hungry. I also didn't eat breakfast every morning like I should have. I also had a very poor sleep schedule...of course. I didn't some research online only to find out that you need your full 8 hrs. Especially if you are trying to lose weight. So with these things in mind I have devised guidlines for myself:

1. Always eat breakfast.
2. Make sure I have time in between classes for lunch.
3. Absolutely no fast food, I can eat at a resturant but it has to be a salad.
4. I can't go to bed any later then 12-1am. Even if I have a test the next day. I have a better chance at getting a good grade if I get all of my sleep then I would if I stayed up all night studying.
5. 45 minutes of daily exercise. Which I think I could easily do yoga.
6. I have to drink the recommended amount of water.
7. Cut back on smoking. I know I should quit cold turkey, but I'm afraid trying to quit like that is only going to set me up for failure. So I plan on instead of smoking a pack a day like I am right now, to cut that down a quarter. Baby steps.

I've been doing good so far today. I have only smoked 3 cigarettes today...major change. I have eaten all my meals at home today. So I think I am on my way. Only problem with today is that I am more stressed now then I was during fianls weeks, in the anticipation of finding out what my grades are. So fingers crossed that I did well.

way to go on only 3 cigs !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :up:

Today was my quit day and I BLEW it after like 7 hrs :(

BUT I am going to slowly ( baby steps ) cut back - I am going to allow myself x amount for 1 week and then cut 2 out for the next week and so on until I am down to 2 a day - then 1 and then DONE :D

Hang Tough ! :mus:

Nothing seems to being going smoothly. I can't break out of my habits. The cutting back on smoking went okay until I was around my friends-who all smoke. I need a motivator, I'm just not getting things done like I should. I haven't been able to uphold any of my guidelines. Not one. What worst I am having unexpected troubles. I may not be able to go to school in the fall and there is nothing in the town I live in except school. I fear that if I can't go to school anymore I have no option but to go somewhere else and try something new. But that means leaving behind the life that I have accumalated over the past year. Not only that, not having any money to even do that. I am deeply concerned with getting stuck living in crappy town and never getting out, if it comes to that.

I have come to the realization that it is not just my weight that is out of control, it is my whole life. I need time to settle for once. I have just been in constant motion every since I started school. So I have decided to take a break from school. It is really needed. I plan to return to college in the spring. Maybe now I can get myself balanced.:)

So I finally am commited to my goal of losing weight. I went grocery shopping today and I bought healthy foods. I bought things that I can either eat on the go or that I can cook. I am getting my roommates involved with the healthy eating too. I took my guy roommates with me to shop and I got them involved with the shopping of healthy food process, they got to pick out a few of the vices that they liked, but we were all pretty much into the buying healthy food. I think the thing that is going to help the most is having everyone I live with involved with the changes. Everybody is pretty optomistic right now, so I am excited about getting started.

I think my biggest obsticle so far is the exercise part. It costs money to go work out in the gym so I think for now I am going to forgo that idea. My fiance is on board with the losing weight idea, he has gained quite a few pounds since coming to college, so we decided that we are going to start going walking at the walking trails in my town. We have already been out there once to ride bike with a friend of ours.

I am already starting to notice a small difference in my clothes. I have probably dropped some water weight and my fiance says I look like I have lost some. Now the thing I will have to worry about is being cocky about. I tend to do that and then start to think well I have lost some so I guess I can indulge a little, but that usually turns into a binge. I have some to find out, yes I can be a binge eater. Which has probably been my problem all along. I have gotten it under control though. I am becoming less of a snacker, and if I do decided to snack I have yogurt, cottage cheese, breakfast bars, and string cheese to do it.

I have started to notice, once again, that it isn't just what I eat but how much I eat. Portion sizes matter a lot. I can eat just about anything, thank god for not depriving myself, just as long as it is in a small portion size. I haven't started the full, all the way, super healthy eat plan yet. I have just payed attention to how much I eat. I significantly have cut down on how much I eat out. And its okay to eat out, just as long as I don't go overboard. Tommorow I am going to start with the health food.

The cutting back on smoking is actually starting to happen for me. Acciedentally too.


I have decided to start a reward system to help motivate and treat myself. Goal-10lbs Reward-Dye hair and new outfit. YAY!

Well, no break for me. I appealed my case at school that was preventing from attending, it was approved and I'm back to being a full time student. For once though, I have a schedule that I like. I have a lot of evening and late afternoon classes so I will have a better chance at being able to get things done.

I have so far done great today, even though it is just starting for me. I woke up and for the first time in a very, very long time I ate breakfast.

1 vanilla yogurt
1 white bagel w/ cream cheese
1 glass of Arizona green tea

I am starting to get a better sense of body image. I haven't had that bad of body image since gaining the weight, most of that probably has to do with having a fiance that is crazy about me no matter how much I weight. But, this past friday for a friends birthday party the theme was Rockabilly/pin up girl/greaser. I hated the theme just because of lack of wardrobe, I had to go buy my outfit. I ended up in a V-neck black/white poka dotted top, a short black skirt, fish nets, and heels. I got so many compliments. It just makes losing weight worth it.

I've been getting more on track with my eating habits. I have to admit I don't eat healthy all the time. But when I'm not eating healthy I have been able to maintain small portion sizes.

Yesterday food:

Bagel w/ sausage and cheese

Salad with chopped chicken, cheese, b. olives, homemade ranch dressing
Side of cottage cheese

The thing that I still need to start doing is exercising on a regular basis. I still haven't committed myself to a work out routine and I feel a little guilty for not doing so yet . I guess I haven't given all the effort I can right now.

I had a decent day yesterday:

Bagel w/ ham and cheese

Bowl of grapes

3 tacos

A lot of water.

Hey girl! Sometimes it gets to the point where our life just feels like it's spiraling out of control. I've been there, believe me. But it takes time, patience, and determination to get back on track.

I think it was a good idea to take a break from school - now you can focus on you, and start preparing for the spring semester. No harm in that.

Gyms are expensive :( But there are lots of ways that you can work out without using a gym. Good job w/ the trail in your town. You could also swim? Or buy some cheap weights from Walmart and do some toning exercises too!

I'll be checkin' in on ya! Keep it up though. Soon your life will be back in "order"....

:cheer:

It takes 21 days to turn a bad habit into a good habit. Thats not really a lot of time but it is when your the one going through it. In the same regards you can turn a good habit to a bad one in the same time span. So what good habits do I want? I want to quit smoking, this one has become priority on my list. It is the number one thing that could turn my lifestyle into a healthy one. In recent attempts to get exercise I decided to do some small things. Like parking my car in the back of the lot to walk more, taking the stairs instead of of the elevator. The problem, the ongoing problem at least, is I get tired easily. Partially because I am out of shape, but mostly cause I am out of breath.

In recent attempts to quit smoking I tried to cut down. I did well as long as I wasn't in a social situation. Most of my friends smoke. It wasn't even a decision I made. I didn't even think about smoking. It was automatic in this scenerio. I didn't even realize at the time that I was cutting back. Before I knew it, it was the end of the night and my pack was gone. So this has turned into an all or nothing sort of deal. Either I smoke, or I quit altogether.

I decided that I want to quit cold turkey. Which is going to be extremely hard. Its not just the nicotine addiction I have to get past, its the habit. Its getting past the first three weeks when I will have a cronic cough because my lunges are repairing themselve. It will be trying to ignore smokers around me so I don't smoke. I have one more cigarette left, which will be my last. I don't think I will have a problem with not buying them. Although I will have to battle with my fiance buying them or getting a cigarette from a friend.

The first three days are the hardest. Thats when the nicfits are the most intense. But I know I can do it. It will just require some restraint and self awareness. I have decided not to tell anyone that I am trying to quit. it hasn't worked for me in the past. I only get repremended for relasping. I don 't need that. If I slip, then I'm going to be the only one that knows about it. I am now taking on full responsiblity for my actions. I am the only one to blame if I don't succeed. I can't blame others for presuring me anymore.

I'm in a bad mood today. I have hard classes that need a lot of attention even within the first week of school. I need to find a part time to have some income coming through seeing as I didn't get much of a refund check from school. I'm in need of girl time which I planned a girls night this Sunday. My boyrfriend's fraternity is more active this semester and not only do I get little time to see my guy friends I barely get anytime with him. Everytime he promises a time where I have him to myself he gets a call and has to go. I miss him. The past week he has been busy everynight. Now he has to get a job too and now I will see him even less. It sucks. I haven't been eating healthy today. I'm still smoking. I haven't started working out yet. I think I am going to start workring out at the campus gym so that I can get out some frustration and have something to do. It just seems more and more that me and my boyfriend are around each other as friends. We have a large group of mutual friends, which is good, but I don't get enough alone time with him. We have two friends we share our apartment with who are home a lot. So there again, not a lot of time alone together. Then when we do find the time something comes up. Grrrrrrrrrrr!

Change is taking place. I went walking yesterday at the trials. Walk half a mile, I know, a lot. Just kidding. My roommate had a project that landed us out there, but I'm glad I went. Been eating considerable amounts when I eat. Nothing too big or small. And I got a comment yesterday by friend asking if I had lost weight. That was flattering. I put on my size 7/8 jeans. Those fit, a little tight, but they fit. So all and all things are getting on track well

There is an immediate battle going on right now. To buy a scale or not? I mean I am kind of frustrated cause I have no clue what weight I am or started out at. So I don't even know how much I am losing or how quickly. I have a bad problem of unintentionally losing weight at an unhealthy rate. Last semester I dropped 20 lb in the time spand of a month and a half. I don't even to this day know I managed that. I don't want to drop weight that quickly though. It is really unhealthy and my goal is to become healthy, not lose a lot of weight. There is a difference. Anyone can lose weight, but not everybody can live a healthy life.

Tomorrow I begin working out. I don't dread it at all, in fact I am looking forward to it. I like it when I exercise. I have more energy. I can sleep well at night. I am in a good mood a majority of the time because of the endorphines. And the biggest bonus- sex is amazing.

I broke down and bought a scale. Turns out that I am 170lbs, so I think my original estimate was close. So yay for 170!

I am beginning to clear through the fog I have beem aimlessly wondering through ever since I got to college. I have been undecided about what I want to be. I have finally decided I am going to switch my major back to graphic design. I went and bought art supplies today and I realized that I want to persue being an artist. I get pleasure out of being creative. That is what I am good at. So it made sense to go back to being an art major.

I am starting to take more time to ponder things. Here is what I have come up:

1. Knowing yourself is narrowing the gap between who you perceive yourself to be and who you really are.

2. I am Philosophic, not religious.

3. I don't have to travel long distances to find myself, I can do that at home. Changing my environment will not result in changing me.

Doesn't matter that I have the best intentions. I have intended to exercise on a regular basis. I have intended to eat healthy. I have even intended to quit smoking. But I haven't been able to follow through with it. It seems like I am so absorbed in what I am doing that all of my intentions fly out the window. I feel like I have no balance in my life. I am just going to work on one small goal a week. It maybe a health or life goal. But I need them. Just so I can focus on things little by little.

Goal this week: Get organize.

How do I do this? I will start by getting a planner and the first thing I will organize is my schedule. I have so many things going on at once that I need to schedule things. When my classes are. When to study. When I can clean. When I can workout. When I can make a healthy dinner. Most importantly-when I have time to just relax.

One a good note I got my first tattoo yesterday. I adore it.

So I am well on my way for my goal this week. I went to walmart to get many things to help myself get organized acedemically. I was able to get in some studying tonight and have properly scheduled what I need to sontinue studying and when I can do it.

The organization goal is going quite well. I am on a good schedule for studying and I am getting work done.

On a more personal post, My fiance and I talked last night and came to the conclusion that we aren't getting our relationship needs met and we really are too busy for a relationship so we broke up. Now its not the tragedy that all of my friends are interpretting it to be. It has actually been very good for us. There is less stress and we have come to appreciate each other more. I think it was the best thing for us right now.