This may be tempting fate or whatever, you know, like I need to knock on wood or something so the title doesn't doom me to failure...but I really want to speak about the value of determination and hanging on and doing it even when everything seems against you. As long as we keep eating the way we need to and living the lifestyle we know is good, eventually things will give us the reward of a healthy body.

I closed my other journal with the bad title of "loser" as I had been wanting to for some time. And I did not want to reopen one until I had some actual report to give.

I did weigh in and lost all that 15 lbs I had gained plus some more--19.2 in 2 weeks. The girl weighing me in could not believe it! I could not believe the gain before, but following the program consistently does finally give the benefit. We want to talk about what we can do, water, fruits, veggies, etc. but the reason is bottom line to keep the elimination going good. The nutrition is of course important. But thru all this, I remembered being a little fat girl and stuggling with constipation and no one teaching me the importance of or how to remedy the problem. A lifetime of that and no wonder obesity is the result. The unspeakable issue that many suffer from but do not want to discuss as the cause of the obesity epidemic? Maybe I have a new mission to declare the importance of pooping to the world!:D

Oh My Goodness !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAY TO GO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SO very happy for you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :cheer: :dn :cheers: !

I am THRILLED about your weight loss and even happier your feeling better again.

and WELCOME to your new journal ! I love the title ! :)

Way to go. That is so wonderful to hear. Keep it up and you will get to goal.

Aweome news Gaye Lynn...So glad you started another journal...I know too well of the problem you are speaking about..I have to battle it myself...Those fruits and veggies sure help a lot...

Take care

Lulu

:water: :water: :water: :water:
Another great weigh in--down 4.2 more this week. But it really was a battle with my arch enemy, Mr. Hanky! (sorry, nasty, but kinda funny in a stupid way) Mid week I was crying around about what torture my body was putting me thru when I remembered my mega-weapon in this battle: HUGE bottles of water that I just pour down rather than sipping. They are 1.5 Liter each and I got one down by noon, one more by 5pm and one by bedtime, then had one to drink through the night each time I got up to go. That, my friends, did the trick and got the 4 lb loss for me! May not work every week, but I am going to try to keep doing that and see what happens next week. No little 6 cups of water will work for me. Big guts require big rinsing, evidently.:water: :water: :water:

wonderful ! Just :super:

Not sure if I gave you this link before - you may find it interesting with all the water your drinking

http://www.watercure2.com

Hope you have a great weekend and GOOD health ! :)

GREAT JOB GAYELYNN
I wish I could get all that water down, I know it is the right thing to do, and I know how beneficial it is...but I am so BAD...BAD...BAD!!!!!
I am very happy for you! You must feel GREAT!!!!
lynn:)

I can count the points and am using my flex points today, but I am starting to really see what causes obesity as far as foods, and even in moderation, maybe a little more than moderate (2 cherry toaster strudels! at 8 points, less than a piece of cake, or about the same) I did not get my veggies in today and that is strike two on the bad road backwards, I am tired, but I think I will boil some cabbage and eat some more veggies tonight to ease my guilt. Should have done it before I ate the sweets. Got a lot of water yet to go in the hour before bedtime, so nite-nite.

Activia yogurt does work.
Also, I thought I had written on here, but maybe it didn't get posted, wrong button or something, but one gal at work had said it looked like my clothes were just falling off me, time to go shopping. And I said I would like to but I would just have to trust the LORD to clothe me like he clothes the grass of the field, like it says in the Bible. Well, today, I found a pretty new sweater just outside my door! A gift from God! size 2x and lepoard print chinelle. Really what I love! Praise the LORD for keeping His Word!

Easy update today. Stayed the same. Our insurance co at work has a thing to encourage us to be healthy, this year, they are giving cash, $45 each quarter to those who are participating in some life style change program. Each month a health coach calls and checks up on us to see how we are doing and offer suggestions. My gal encouraged me to get more exercise. I know, I know, but I am really feeling problems with too much still yet. I am more active, but walking really is limited to a few minutes. One lady at ww mtg said she lost all her wt without exercising and only after she has been a member for 2 years, did she start, she is tiny! I know it would be fun to walk at a lower wt. My family used to take after dinner walks when I was growing up and we enjoyed that, at a near normal wt. This strain of the huge gut on my already damaged spine is too much right now. That lady gave me hope for the future.
I started to sign up for the ww online pass where they take your payment out of your acct and you just show up at the meeting. But the fine print says they will charge your card up to 15 days before your sign up date of the month each month. OK, so I pd $40 today and they will charge me another $40 in 15 days? I don't think so! Let me outta this! I am canceling that deal, but the refund from it probably will not come til Christmas! I guess I just started a little Christmas club account without meaning to! Everyone is after the money.
I got a pocket pc this week so I could keep count of my points on it (and have a new toy) but I will have to buy the software since no one shares unless it is a Palm.
I really need to quit playing around with my gadgets and get some quilts finished that were due in August! Busy time and I love the cooler weather!

GayeLynn, I haven't been around much lately but I miss you ! So here I am to tell you I miss you and I should be back on a regular basis as I need my DT friends!! I have been feeling lonely lately :(

I hope you are doing well, love the new positive journal title and I'll be stopping by again soon :hug:

Hi My Friend ! I am still crazy busy with this move - but wanted to stop by and let you know I am thinking of you - hope everything is well in your world :)

Thanks for stopping by Beth and Becca! I too need to get with it here more. This cooler weather has me wanting to bake more and the hunger is increasing! Hot soups full of veggies should help, I do need to hang on and keep doing the things, like DT, that have helped me get this far. My daughter called me with the good news that she finally fit into size 6 capris! I normally would not have cared about sizes, my identity is not tied up in numbers, but she was trying to encourage me with her progress,...hmm...that doesn't seem to help me. I will give her credit for wanting to help though. What it did do for me was see that people are hoping I will hang in there just as much as I hope for it. Lifestyle changing is hard even after the habits are ingrained. Times of stress tempt me to go back to familiar ways, like eating 5 candy bars, a day and stuff like that. I really have to be on the alert and watch myself and the situations that arise just like a new dieter, I guess this is what is meant by "it never gets easy." Lots of temptations and the goal is still so far away. Surrounding myself with friends who think like me who will help me do what I really want to do sure helps.
Points are still okay, 3 more days and only 6 flex point left. But the oils, I like never get. How do you do it Becca? I just poured 2 tsp in the soup pot so I will get some, but that is only 2 cups a day and that would be less than needed.

GayeLynn - Oils are definitely a tough one. Not just getting them in, but they're so point heavy for something that doesn't do anything for your appetite. But, I fit them in 2 ways: 1, I buy the new mayonaisse made with canola oil. The first ingredient is canola oil so I figure a tablespoon = 2 oils...but that's 3 points! The other way is using a butter spread that is made with healthy oils, I like Smart Balance, but that is made with an oil blend that isn't all the healthy oils WW lists so that's harder to figure, I still figure it 1 tbs = 2 oils, but I could be wrong about that. Both ways are still hard to fit in, like I said, with the points...it seems like a waste for 3 points when I can be having something a lot more substanstial, but unfortunately it is something that is healthy for us so we have to suck it up.

I know how you feel, having the cravings/temptations, I was going along great until we moved to Pasadena, then for 2 weeks it seemed like I couldn't control myself at all. Luckily, I kept the gain to a minimum and the feeling passed, I'm now back to feeling motivated and in control.

Great Becca that you could let your set back not keep you down. It would be so easy...but I just need to keep looking ahead with determination and not behind with fear or dismay. I will lose and keep on losing, even if it is less than 10 lbs a month. That is so much better than the way I was going. Time will pass and it has become a friend. The backward way time was my enemy, the weight will return so fast if I give up now and just eat whatever I want, and I would feel like such a failure and be a disappointment to so many, myself most of all. This weight loss is the first thing that my father has really had joy in me over. He shows it in the way he says "Good for you!" This is a quiet man who lets people live the way they want, with never a word. So to get that much praise from him kinda surprised me. This is important, always has been important and always will be important, no matter what people say about not focusing on the outward appearance. People (and I am a people) do care. My health is majorly affected. These are the truths I hold to. The lies I told and believed were just as powerful in shaping my life up to 385 lbs. No one loves you, go ahead and enjoy this. That was the main one. The truth about that is, the love and the food are 2 separate issues. One is a behavior that must be controlled and one is an emotion that can be dealt with in another way. My emotions have fluctuated all my adult life--"changeable as the wind" was how one lady put it. Can't trust something like that, gotta trust the unchangeable truths. Losing weight is healthy and will bring me and my family and friends much happiness. That is an unchangeable truth in my life.

:cheers: This one kinda snuck up on me. On the scale this morning, it fluctuated .2 lbs, but I said for her to give me the lower one. Then I realized this was my goal. They didn't make too much of it so I asked if I got a 2nd 10% keyring reward, and she gave me one!
I did not drink much before weigh in and was a little surprised that I did lose that much with all the hunger I dealt with last week!
I also realized that I need to eat more protein since my hair is falling out in handfuls! Gross! At least I hope that is what will correct it. I don't want to go bald!
I did give credit to diettalk for all the support I get each day, whether anyone comments to me or I read about your struggles, it is all good at helping me keep my focus and I do appreciate it.:wn :jn :dn :cheer:

Congrats on another goal reached :cheer: I hope you figure out what's going on with your hair...did you ask your meeting leader if they think it's the protein thing? Not that they are doctors but they could at least give insight and I know some of us can't afford $60 or so for a doctor visit just to ask a doctor a question.

GayeLynn,

They say that when you go through a large amount of weightloss you tend to lose hair, but that it usually rectifies itself. I agree that you should talk to your doctor, nutritionist, somebody to make sure this is what's happening and if there is anything you can do. I went through a few months where my hair came out so quickly it would clog the shower. Thank goodness I was blessed with more of it than I really need! :laugh:

Congrats on reaching your goal! That's fantastic!

Oh this is GREAT to hear about ! :up:

WAY TO GO!!!!!!
:cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
I have been having the same problem with my hair.
I think I will see if there is some kind of vitimin that we could take to help us with this.
let me know if you fiqure it out...
lynn

Got to see my sweet 2 year old grandson today and learn more of the words he can say, which is anything you tell him to say. He is really learning fast. I kinda spoke a little harshly to him about sprinkling his mild all over the furniture and carpet out of his "cuppy" and it broke his heart. He hid his face and would not look at anyone and slid slowly down to the floor still hiding his face! Then we got him to laughing and he forgot about it. He is so used to everyone praising him, he can't take it when he is criticized. So like me...this weightloss is wonderful when we have the thing by the tail, but let the setbacks come, and I wonder if I would listen to anyone? Seldom. Fun having a grandson! We shared a grape juice popsicle bar--my daughter called it "communion on a stick" cause it tasted like communion grape juice which is great! Only 60 cals and well worth it! Gotta get some more of those!

Been eating like it is going out of style. This cooler weather makes me hungry! Today, I have used all my flex points for the week and then some. Since this is the day before weigh-in, I figure I have 16 points only left for today. It is possible. Will be making a zero point veggie soup for dinner, hopefully and not going over the weekly allowance.
I have been a little distracted with a new email friend (male) and not been as careful as I should. Why do we like the unknown better than the known? Crazy. But I just stick with the point limit--I may not be doing it exactly right, but that is one thing I can do just by stopping myself when day is done--which I did not do last night or the night before... Hopefully this will not go on all winter!

The colder weather seems to bring me more desire for foods too - this cold season I plan to learn some new healthier choses - different soups and such - way cool your making other online friends :)

:dc :dc Way to go GayeLynn, the carrots are telling me! I love those little guys! I could just eat them up! Like that stupid guy on tv..."Get in my belly!"
You will never believe what I did last night! With all my points for the week used up, I had a client at the last minute who kept talking about how hungry they were and how they were going home to make chicken catcitorre (however you spell it!) and going mmmm! and on and on...I told them to hush, all I could have was diet jello...then my car turned in to the $6 pepperoni pizza place on the way home (it was payday, you know, gotta celebrate a little, like the old days before WW) I ate the whole thing except the crust for most of the pizza, maybe 2 slices of crust but all the cheese and pepperonis on the rest of the pizza. I didn't want to have it around to tempt me on the new week today. So, they say confession is good for the soul, and I will be extra good this week, thank God for instant forgiveness so I can pick up today and do good.:wn :pum:
Oh, yeah, did you see my stats? I have lost 75 lbs now since March!

way to go on losing 75 lbs ! :cheer:

wow - that is just wonderful ! I bet you feel MUCH better :D

Hey Beth, I even went walking around the block tonight! With my trusty flashlight, and the moon! Thanks to the email friend I have, he said he always walks at night. I don't know why I never thought of that before! The walk was painless and enjoyable. I am so glad to have some exercise to enjoy freely!

way to with walking ! :up:

stopping in to see how your doing - hope everything is well :)

Full moons are usually rough due to the clients who suffer and make their complaints known, this time, it hit me! Tues I noticed a walnut sized lump come up on my bottom and remembered when I had a Bartholin cyst in my 20's. It ruptured and I was fine since then. I figured I would wait it out. But the discomfort was mind-blowing! No sitting to do anything! And daily functions were extremely painful! And fevers, then night sweats! What a mess I have been through! My nice long weekend has been only recouperating from the thing! (It did rupture, after I called all my Christian friends for prayer!) Physical pain on top of a broken heart! I let myself get attached too easily due to not having any male attention in so long. My new email friend of a couple weeks let me know he was sorta through with me and the rejection also made me feel worse. So, all in all, it was a bad week. Except for getting dehydrated and feeling so bad I couldn't think of anything that I felt like putting forth the effort to fix or eat. Didn't use any flex points all week which was unusual for me. Bottom line: I lost 7 more pounds, which they said I could not do again. For a total of 82 lbs! woo hoo! I am not up to the dancing carrots today. Still having the old problem due to the dehydration with pain, hair is still falling out in a big way. Decided to be more faithful with my vitamins and the oils. Everything has to be worked at to keep this old body functioning. I wonder if the fat releases a deadly poison as a farwell gift when I lose it?:)

Congrats with your loss this year so far! That is amazing! It is a long journey, and a hard one. But you have such support here! And in your faith. He will not give you more than you can bear.

You are doing such a good job. We have our moments of weakness, but as long as we get back on track, it will work out. We can overcome those moments.

I am also glad that you found that moonlight walks are so peaceful for you. Anytime that we can be more active is great! I hope that you continue to enjoy them while the weather is so nice!

Best wishes to you! I will see you around the site!

Thanks Melsa, for stopping by and for the encouragement! Hope you can get the help you need here too. I have really been depending on this site for my journey this year. Before that, I think I wanted to find somebody with a magic wand and fairy dust that would help me! Realized that I needed to find a proven plan and get with it this year. It has been amazing that I could come out the winner. The hunger I feared could be managed with good food I could include, the craving for sweets became manageable and I found lots of great low-fat substitutes. Just makes me wonder why I waited so long...

I am sorry that someone hurt you my friend :hug:

and sorry what you went/ are going through with your bottom - I have been there and your right it is very painful !

way to go - 7 lbs ! wow ! :cheer: and look even with all you have had to deal with lately you had a loss - now give yourself a pat on the back :D

Thanks for your comforting words Beth. I gotta cherish the real friends when some new ones let me down--feeling lots better now and even getting some appetite back.

Oh I just realized this ! 2.6 lbs to go and you will be not be in the 3's any more !!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Wow almost out of the 300s...awesome accomplishment :) Sorry about your hardships, especially with the friend...:hug:

Hey Becca, is that a picture of your cat? He is cute. Thanks for the sympathy. I am sure I am better off, and it hurts less each day. Crazy old lady to let him get to me that way. Flattery really works, I guess. I am still down 80.8 this week even though I gained some back--figured I would with being sick and dehydrated last week, but it will come off for good soon. I will be happy to be out of the 300's and it is a goal, but not such a big one to me. I try to not give the scale much power over me. The loss numbers that I post are more important and when I have hit the 100 lb loss mark that will be a big day for sure.
Did I tell what I did this week? I went to Wal-Mart and thought I would get a new top, if they had my size and color I wanted. I looked and looked and finally found the 26/28 that I took to the check-out, then I realized, that USED to be my size! I don't know what I wear now! I needed to try it on before I bought it! So I let her put it back for me--I will try one on later, but isn't that nuts!?
My old clothes still fit since I always wore dresses and skirts, just the neckline is a little bigger and they are not so tight. We shall see someday soon. I did still need a 3x t-shirt that a gal embroidered dancing candy corns on for Halloween.
I weighed 291 when my son was born--left the hospital weighing a little more due to all the iv fluids, I am sure. That will be another personal goal for me. Almost 21 years ago!
Ok, I bought a bottle of canola oil today and will start frying a potato or something to get my oils in. Hopefully!
Keeping the Activia yougurt company in business and I noticed the lady in front of me bought a week's supply also. That stuff is a miracle food! I have not got a lot of interest in the cooking lately. Maybe the fried potatoes will get the ball rolling again.

Ok, folks, I need some help here! My appetite is kickin' me in the rear! I have eaten this weekend like it was goin' out of style. Fri and Sat I was finishing off last week's flex points and I went over quite a bit--like 10 points or so. Now this week, last night was only day 2 and I ate 23 flex point in that one day! This has gotta stop or I will be right back where I started. Sugar is definitely a catalyst, and baked goods without much fiber. But I need a sure fire filler that satisfies. Help!

For one thing, the VitaMuffins and VitaTops are great at only 1 point. I ordered the sampler pack to try the other flavors besides chocolate for my baked goods cravings since there was a 2 day special on them with free shipping with the promo from hungrygirl.com. I had not ordered any of those since July and it was about time! Nothing I can make is just one point and so delicious. I have tried. The pumpkin/cake mix muffins are great, but not one point and not so filling. I am now on a real A to Zinc multivitamin and also ordered some hair vitamins from Avon for the hair loss. So hopefully this tweaking will get me around the next bend in the weight loss journey. I have just let myself be hungry the past few nights by telling myself--"its all gone, there is no more for today, forget it!" like I was some little kid.
I found some wonderful low-fat no-pudge fudge chocolate chocolate chip ice cream sandwiches at the dollar store--what a surprise to find something so wonderful there so cheap! Only 2 points a big sandwich. I left the package at work and thought I would stop and get a package to keep at home after work today. Just as I came up the aisle, a lady was loading her cart with all they had left. She said that she had already bought 4 packages earlier that week and they loved them. I begged her to let me have one of hers and said I could not believe she was acting that way when that was why I came to the store and how I was on weight watchers. She said, "You're not going to make me feel guilty!" I said,"I cannot believe it! I am not used to dealing with people like you!" It was so odd to encounter someone so selfish! Right out in public and unashamed. Some thing was very odd about that to me...that is why I hate shopping the sales the day after Thanksgiving. It brings out the worst in people. Hopefully the store will get them again. Maybe that lady will stay away until I get another package or two!8-|

oh my - how rude of her ! wow !

The weigh in today was down .6 lbs, but that was not back to the 82 loss yet. Maybe next week. Just one more pound of the 1.6 I gained last week. That is ok, I was sick and do not mind this delay. We have been having fund-raisers at work this last couple of weeks, selling to each other nachos one day, beans and cornbread another day, our unit sold all kinds of soup and loaded huge baked potatoes. Then I am in one club which meets at Arbys and I gave in this week to fried onion petals with dipping sauce and a jamocha milkshake! Way over for points so, all in all, that is a good weigh in!:o
On bootcamp buddies, I read about the neatest crustless pumpkin pie! They say that pumpkin is one of the superfoods and we should eat 1/2 cup a day! I can see why. It is great for muffins and pies and soups (although I have not tried the soup yet, just got the recipie at the meeting this morning) So I am baking the wonderfully fragrant pie right now. 1/4 of the pie is only 2 points! and it is good for breakfast, lunch, dinner or a snack. I need to go get some cool whip free to top it with--mmmm! I love pumpkins and fall:pum: :harvest:

Wow what a witch at the grocery store! I understand she wants to stock up, but can't she just get a box or two each day instead of taking ALL of them in one day? How rude to all the other customers!

If I had a meeting at Arby's I would be out of control!! Arby's is my favorite fast food place, and I'm not even that much of a fast food person...just can't resist them! You still did well even with the obstacles thrown in your way.

Pumpkin...mmm. Let me know how that tastes! I need a Thanksgiving recipe since I'm making day after Thanksgiving dinner...my mom is coming for a visit that day and I really wanted to make Thanksgiving dinner, but I'm obligated to go to Eric's aunt's for Thanksgiving so I decided to make a mini, better-for-you dinner on Friday :)

I am dying to try the VitaTops but seriously can't afford them, shipping or not, so I put them on my Hannukah list...just for clarification, I'm not Jewish, but Eric is half Jewish, and his family wants to buy me presents, and I'm not going to say no to that...:laugh:

Okay, well, I think I talked about me too much. But I wanted to give you the link to my new journal: http://www.diettalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=56040

Keep up the good work, you always have such a good attitude about gaining/losing smaller amounts...I know a lot of people that don't, and they usually end up failing/giving up.

Oh, and the cat in the avatar is Jack :) Who is being a brat today!! He likes to chew on my laptop when I'm using it.... X-(

It was not so good...someone told how "delicious" it was with a cup of quick oatmeal added.8-| It was edible, but not very sweet and not a pumpkin pie, more like baked oatmeal with pumpkin in it. The best part was the cool whip which I only used 2 Tbsp at one point but it would still be one point with 4 Tbsp! So that might help with the rest of the pie. I will leave the oatmeal out next time and figure the points on some sugar. Just gotta have a little more sweet flavor for me
That might be your reaction, Becca, to the Vita Muffins also. The flavor is not like real muffins, kinda. But if you are committed to doing whatever it takes, they definitely are little helpers along the way. Lots of fiber and the chocolate ones have choc chips in them, for one point, I say well worth it. I spent $64 this time. Last time only $30, but I wanted to try the other flavors and see what they were like. So far the VitaBrownie is my favorite, but I think there is more calories than they advertise. Lots of walnuts on top--mmmm. Hard to believe only 1 point.
For Thanksgiving I am going to try a Pumpkin Cheesecake Pudding that was on HungryGirl.com. Sounds like it would be good.
I went to a card party (making cards by rubberstamping) and that was the first time I did not like hearing people talk about me losing weight. It might have been the persons doing the talking, but they made me want to keep the whole issue to myself. Maybe it was because I have so far to go and did not want their support. It was odd, usually I like to get the positive feedback, but with me still being over 300 lbs, whatever they said made me feel like they were being patronizing. Gotta get a better outlook on this, they do not dictate how I feel about myself and my journey!

I have met people that I would rather they not say anything to me about my weight loss - so I can understand where your at with that.

Thats a shame the desert is not tasty......shucks.

Just had to add, that right before I went to throw the pie away out of the fridge, I broke off a piece and dipped it in the cool whip--it IS very good. That other lady did say she liked it cold best and so do I. Nice cakey, pie-type diet yummy. Not for normal people though. We appreciate our diet treats better than they do!

lol good lol ;)

Without the oatmeal:turkeytalk: WOW!!! it was great hot! Right out of the oven with cool whip free and I put it on top of 2 of the new gingerbread graham crackers that are 3 point for 2. So delish! Worth the 5 point total and I know it will be great cold too without the graham crackers for only 1 point too because I used a little more sf syrup and used 1/2 vanilla syrup and 1/2 caramel syrup and more pumpkin pie spice--mmmmm!
here is the recipe I got from bootcamp buddies, joann
"Here's my lazy version:
I took one 15oz can of pumpkin puree,
1 cup of fat free evaporated milk,
1/2 cup egg beaters and
1/2 cup of DV Sugar free syrup in Spice Blend flavor (though I bet lots of flavors would be good with this, like amaretto or white chocolate)
then baked at 450 degrees for 20 minutes then at 350 degrees for 45 minutes.
Figuring the points for all the ingredients by nutritional info (including the pumpkin) I got 1/4 of the pie is 90 calories, 0 fat, 4 fiber which is 1 point! And since 1 cup of evaporated FF milk is 2 dairy servings, each 1/4 of the pie is also 1/2 a milk serving and it's a veggie serving too. Can't beat that"

:up:

Today's weigh in was a small gain, but I have been on program all week and am not worried. Still get to keep my 32 points at 304 lbs. Losing 4 pounds is a possibility after being on this plateau for the last 3 weeks, losing and gaining less than a pound each week, but I am in no hurry to lose that point after the hunger of the last couple of weeks. The numbers on the scale are not scaring me today! Boo!

GREAT attitude - good for you - such positive growth :D

Halloween was such a fiasco! I did what I have not done since I started at the beginning of this year, I just quit counting and writing it down. Bad bad me! Looking back and trying to reconstruct the whole thing, I might not have been too awful, a few peanuts, some chip and dip, a few mini candy bars, and coffee cake and and and...we will see. I am getting right back on course and trying some more. My sister bought me a pretty outfit that won't fit yet, but maybe at some later date...velvet and lace tiered skirt and a cream colored blouse to go with it. I hope to wear it someday soon. Hopefully this winter would be nice. I might as well start limiting myself that extra point whether I lose the rest of the weight or not this week. It has to help some. 31 points rather than 32. Maybe that is why I am stuck on this plateau...my body knows it needs less? I tried budgeting my income like I budget my eating, but it just does not come out right. I do not know why. I write down all the expenses and it all adds up right, but when I look at the bank balance, something is just not right. -$167??? Where did that money go? I think I do better counting points.

Wednesday I did keep it at the 31 points, but mySELF attacked me today and went wild with the chocolate at work then the General Tso's chinese chicken and crab rangoon and egg rolls tonight--I must have eaten over 75 points today!!! And last night I ate 2 orders of chicken nuggets with ranch (not low-fat even) from Wendy's with a baked potato with double sour cream... I expect to gain at least 5 lbs tomorrow...maybe it will be like that time I gained 15 lbs in 2 weeks! But I was staying on program then, not eating like a horse like I have been this week. Hope not, but I sure would deserve it for giving in this week. Gotta get a grip! I do not want to quit. Having some guilt over not tithing at church and buying myself a coat instead...and still my hair is falling out by the brushfuls each day! I am getting really messed up here and no one can help me but me!

Sure thought it would be worse than that, and it still may yet if I do not snap out of this. Lesson today was on surviving the "potholes" on our weightloss journey and I drank it in like a dying person...I need all the help I can get. I prepared a low point pumpkin cheesecake today to eat through the week and a big casserole of low point King Ranch Chicken. But then I ate 4 Slimfast bars just to get a candy fix...counted the points for today...12 flex used! and it is just 5:30...I ate an apple and will drink a lot of water and hopefully that will help me control myself a little til in the morning.
We have only 8 weeks until the first week of Jan. 07--and the leader asked us to set goals for this month and next month. I wondered if I could lose 20 lbs in 8 weeks. It is possible. I would have to get back on that exercise bike and really get with the program...and lose 2.5 lbs each week. I know it can be done, but tonight I did not do it. At that 20 lbs lost would bring me to the smashing total of a 100 lb loss to start the new year. WOW!!! This time last year, I was only suffering and hurting and a little depressed. Love the changes I have been through this year. Even the rough places where I thought I was going to die! The LORD saw me through and I know that losing this weight is pleasing Him more than anything I have done in a long time. Wish I could get all of my life (like my finances) in control, but I think there is a spill-over when I am in control in one area, it is easier to conquer other problem areas. So the motivation is there, I am willing to use my mental settings to accomplish my desire for reaching the next goal for the new year.:mus: :mus:

Ok, one more bad day, but now I am through! I made my lunch to go to a friend's house for a card making party, got there early and as I was looking in the local Family Dollar store, the old favorites jumped in my basket and I bought Whoppers and Junior Mints and Chocolate Marshmallow Cookies and ate everything but the entire box of Whoppers...all my flex points plus the snacks at the party!!!! I am insane!! I do not want to get fatter again. I want to get back in the losing mode and get to the 100 lb loss before I have been on WW for an entire year 2/25 is the date I set since I have been slowish on my losing instead of the end of the year. But still, I really really need to be realingned with my motivation. I did it just because I had to. Now I have had a really rough 6 days here--with only one good day in the middle. I close the door on this and desire to be led back into the good way where I can find self-control as I follow the teachings WW has laid out for me. I will obey their directions from this moment on, for my poor body's sake. I apologized to myself after I ate that junk. Or in the process of finishing it off. Tomorrow there will be bowls of chocolate on almost every desk as people try to get rid of their Halloween candy. That is their problem, not mine. I will consider myself dead to that temptation. It is not something I need to worry about. I just need to check off the things I do need and be sure to drink all my water and take my vitamins and do what I did before that got me where I am today. Thank the LORD for helping me overcome this.

wonderful attitude ! WoW ! You ARE strong and you can get back on track with your program - remember you have the control :D

Here I am, back with another .8 gain. The only attitude I had in the beginning was that I could not do this, someone who had the know-how (Weight Watchers)had to show me and I was willing to listen. Now the temptations are causing my eye to wander and not stick with the program when I feel "munchy" at night. I will think ahead and have some good "munchies" on hand tonight, like bite-size celery with fat free cream cheese and raisins, or some other fruit or even some home-popped popcorn with my healthy oil. These snack bars I have accumulated are too easy to grab too many points, fruits and veggies are more satisfying. I am not giving up. I will be ashamed if I have one more gain next week. The leaders are giving good lessons, I will heed their teachings this week. Planning ahead for all the holiday activities and temptations...

good plan and a good plan is a first good step :D

:laugh: :cheer: Today I got back to my lowest and had a small new loss as well with a drop of 4.8 lbs!!!
Finally broke thru that plateau and the sick urges that were keeping me there. Lots of water and other stuff to do besides see all the tempting junk. Water will curb the appetite and I guess with the cooler weather I just have not wanted to glug it down:water: like I should. I even had 2 slices of MeatLovers Pizza without the rim of crust (my daughter ate that!) I made some choc chip cookies and ate those and also had a creme filled long john! Go figure!?! Later, looking at the points, still most days stayed on track with counting that stuff in--7 pts each slice of pizza and 8 or 10 for the long john.
Great meeting this am on a practice Thanksgiving dinner. She had little papers with pics of the food item and points on the back and we got to see what a plate would point out to be. It let me see that I cannot eat any pie crust or flex points until that day and that if I want some goodies that are low point I had better bring my own! So here I go to search out the recipies...See ya lighter!:turkeytalk: :turkey: :harvest:

YES !!!!!!!!!! WAY TO GO 4.8 LBS :cheer: :up: :super:

maybe I should write "Dear Beth" since you are the only comments I get these days! It is ok with me...I would write even if no one read it but me, here or somewhere. But thanks for your continuing support and encouragement!
Thanksgiving had good and bad...I did not over eat at the dinner but my stupid side took advantage this week saying, "since you know you will have a gain this week go ahead and enjoy yourself!" Earlier in the week I bought a secret jumbo bag of mega m&m's and those were consumed in 3 or 4 days! and then there was the mega cheesy poufs (as my son calls them) that is half consumed...shame! As far as the dinner, the only desert was a small portion of my sister's pumpkin twinkie layer thingy--real sugar was good for a change! My pumpkin pie is great but I could tell that it is fake sugar .... ok, lets close the book on this misadventure of a week and get going again...more crustless pumpkin pie, cabbage soup, turkey casserole with veggies and 98% fat free mushroom soup and low-point biscuit topping, any thing else I can think that would be wonderful and good for me. Pretty Christmas dishes can come down and be used for everyday. Lots of ways to have fun in the kitchen without going out on a limb.
BTW, did get lots of compliments from the family and I did wear the new outfit my sister bought for me a month or so ago:o

Hi :wave:

I find my journal really is for me - visitors are nice - and yet my journal helps me so much by reading back over my posts - hopefully you too find the same :)

I am not sure how often you post in others journals but it seems to work kind trade for post for post thing - ya know ;)

:super: about the new outfit and the compliments :up:

I LOVE your idea about Christmas dishes and such - wonderful idea !

I know Beth, but when they get a slug of people making comments, I figure who am I among so many, they won't miss my comment--besides, I am kinda lazy or busy or whatever.
Weigh in today was great, better than I deserved--stayed the same!
I almost do not have any hair left, though. My aunts are in the same boat, so it is probably hereditary somewhat but a comment was made about a lady that was using way over on her oils--2 Tbsp rather than 2 tsp a day--and that her hair and nails were great. That is the absolute one thing I do struggle with so I guess the oils will have to become a priority for me, not just hit and miss. Wigs cost too much and my head is getting cold! guess I need some bandannas or something from the dollar store.

Hey there!

I just wanted to offer my congratulations too. I have been doing a lot of reading these past few weeks, but I don't comment too much either. You are doing a great job though! I'm glad some people noticed at Thanksgiving and let you know that they noticed - those comments are always nice to hear from people.

Healthy oils can be worked into your eating plan - - eating certain fish or even a handful of nuts can easily give you some of the healthy oils that your skin and hair need to thrive. I've been eating a handful of walnuts or almonds as my morning snack each day just for the benefits of those oils. I guess I'll see how that goes - only started that recently. The old "unflavored" gelatin is supposed to do wonders for hair and nails too - maybe you can work that into some of the liquids you drink during the day.

Anyway, good luck and keep up the great work!

Gayelynn - have you heard of a supplement called - skin - hair & nails - its at walmart - my MIL takes it and says it makes a huge difference in her thin hair.

Also from teen years I recall KNOX jello being good for nails - so not sure if it would help your hair or not - maybe do a internet search for more info about it or even go to KNOX web site.

my daughter loves wigs - and she only pays like 20.00 at this one web site she goes to and they look nice - she just buys the ones on clearance.

Thinking of you tonight and hope all is well in your world :hug:

:wave:

stopping by to see how you are doing Gayelynn :wave:

Stopping by again - hope your doing well and come here and post soon :)

Come back :(

Thanks friends! I am sorry to be gone so long! My life has really picked up since I have lost so much wt. 89.5 now (I will change my stats later) I have a new man and am deeply in love. Sorry not to update sooner. He is online romance living in Egypt. It occupies a lot of my interest now and I do not feel like eating so much.
Wish I could say more, but there is still not a lot to say as the relationship is so new. Just hope a muslim and a christian can bridge the gap and find true love?! :bd :hug: happy birthday to me today!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAYELYNN!!!!!:bdaybanne :bd :balloons: :party:

( belated )

Happy Birthday Gayelynn ! :bd :bdaybanne

May this year bring you all your goals ! :rose:

See and I was all worried about you being gone and here you are off romancing - I am thrilled for you :hug:

I hope you are just busy with your romance and Christmas!! We miss you!

This romance is quite exciting
and really brings to life a part of me that has been dormant for many years.
My kids are horrified and everyone at work is worried but glad to see me so happy and looking good
Who knows how it will end??? It started with a romance scammer who I found out and then started looking for more romance on chat rooms. What has turned up is men all over the world lonesome and ??? but as a mature woman, I feel in control and not so likely to get hurt. Just fun flirting like I have not forever!
Any way, still going to meetings and losing. Thanks for the birthday wishes.
See ya more often I hope...:D

Gayelynn - you beautiful ! I saw your new picture and said "WOW" :D

Happy your happy and keeping a sound mind and having fun ;)

Merry Christmas My Friend ! :hug:

Gayelynn..
I am so very Happy for you..You are absolutley BEAUTIFUL. Have a wonderful Christmas!
lynn:)

Hey stranger - hope all is well and you come back soon and let me know how you are doing :D

Knock Knock - anyone home? miss you :D

Hey folks!
Well, i am still making some small effort to stay on program. We have had terrible ice storms i am sure you know. Power outages and passion in the chat room, lol.
I am bad since i got a cam for my birthday and have men all over the world filling my head with their flattery.
They like big white women, but when it comes down to it, american men do not feel the same. And so if any thing is ever going to happen for me in this area, i must keep on with the wt loss effort. So here i am back again and will try to be more faithful to post here at least weekly.
Hopefully i have not gained over the holidays more than the 1.6 i saw on the day after the first of the year. Two weeks of ice storms have kept me away from meetings and i hope i will see some loss this next time. Lots of stories to tell my grandkids someday... maybe not. But thanks diettalkers for still being here for me.

I am THRILLED to see you back and to know all is well :D

Saturday the weigh-in after being ice-bound was only up .8 but hopefully this will disappear after this week. Still ms. sexpot in the chat rooms--who can resist adoring men??? But i do commit this week to the challenge of my WW leader to get in at least 15 min of exercise daily. That and get back to faithfully recording each morsel in my mouth. I slid in quite a few sweets before to keep my metabolism up, my friend in India said that and ancient Indian rememdy for cold was to eat butter, lol. So I substituted Hershey Raspberry Kisses since my furnace is out for the past week---we will see. But i did record the kisses i ate.
luv and hugs to my diettalk family!

Hi ! :wave: always nice to hear from you ! :D

your furnace is out !? as in you have NO heat?! oh my !!!!!!!!!!!

i have a small elec heater in my bedroom that i put at my feet and turn the oven on for a few hours each day to get ready for work and then in the evening again. it is livable, kinda.

Gayelynn - I will say a prayer for you to get some heat. You can get so very sick from this.........

Please keep me posted.

So other then freezing....... how are you doing?

Knock Knock anyone home? - I hope all is well Gayelynn and you return soon. I sure miss you :)

just cant keep me down! altho i do need to get the willpower going again. i about have myself in over my head with all the steamy chats i keep juggling, many admirers, but no real serious ones unless you count the saudi who wants me for his 2nd wife or the adult friend finder guys! it is all cyber and not real so i feel pretty safe online. But it takes all my attention that i should be giving to meal planning and preparation. I have gained back 10 lbs last time i weighed in and maybe more by the looks of my face. Gotta get a grip and keep on doing what worked for me and practice the chatting in more moderation. Nothing feels as good as losing weight, because it stays and the other flattering pleasures just leave you wanting more. so i really need to re prioritize and get going again. hope to hear from a few of my friends and be held a little more accountable here.

HI !!!!!!!!! I am so very happy to hear from you :D

I sure hope you come back more often...... :)

I use to be a frequent fly-er of the chat rooms but quickly seen that it was not really a positive move forward ( for me anyways ) and stopped. I have not been in a chat room for years with a few exceptions of here and there at DT.

knock knock - anyone home?

:help: went to weigh in today and was up 6 lbs since last week due in part to the easter candy and part to just not being good to record or drink water or exercise or anything except chat!!!!! I am purposing not to engage in that anymore and have deleted all the bad guys that I have been chatting with. It is such a big lie that they like big beautiful women! What they want is cybersex and no accountability or even to admit who they really are--anonymity. I fell in hook line and sinker because I was proud of my new body and had some energy to put in the sexual direction and without a partner to tell me how good I looked, I wanted to hear it from those guys. Anyway, I really am looking at getting back on track this spring and boxing up this whole winter as the winter of my discontent. Only one good thing is my new hair--got rid of the gray and it finally quit falling out
I am going to use my energy to exercise and focus my mental energies back on eating right and cooking right.
I really love diettalk and am so glad it is here for me.
From the top loss of 91 pounds total, today I am back down to 77 lbs lost. What a lot of ground and hard work I have let go!!! Spring cleaning time for this woman in my mental state! :whip:

I have never been in any of those chat rooms but I can just imagine..The web is full of some pretty sick weirdos... Glad you finally saw through it..Usually if it sounds too good to be true it is ..well that is my take.. Men.. and I guess some women too will look for love in all the wrong places..but on ot new and better things...:)
DT is a good safe place..

Ok, today i weighed in having gained back 18 lbs which I lost by last October or November.X-( This is not acceptable, being basically lazy, I never want to have to redo all the work I have done. My life has been lax in so many areas and now is the time to turn this ship around. I admit to God and the world how I have failed, which everyone could see anyway. And I determine to change whatever needs to be changed to get back in the right direction. Weight Watchers and my proper food is a priority. I read somewhere that people saw a better weight loss when they ate approximately the same breakfast and lunch each day, thereby saving the last minute having to decide what to eat. So I say to do it a week at a time: this week oatmeal for breakfast made with cinnamon, nonfat milk, and adding my healthy oils to this so i can "Get 'er done!"; lunch will be a one point tortilla with 1/2 cup fat free refried beans, salsa, onion and other veggies, fat free cheese with some fruit, then the other things can be filled in
I want to check in here more often too and do what worked for me before. :dc :wn :wn :dn Wish me luck!

I am thrilled your back on track again :D

I do hope you keep coming back as you were before.

The other thing you can try if the same old gets boring, is planning out your meals for a week, helps you know what your eating and also helps to know what to buy at the grocery store. I recently read about planning meals for a week around what is on sale at the store as a way to save $ - I am going to give it a whirl myself :)

PS: I love the updated picture of you - you look yearsssssssss younger !

anyone home here?

Hey guess what? I am now on WW and I love it :D I am using the flex points plan...

Hope to hear from you soon :)

:wave:

Ok, what I did in the beginning was to see that it was a life or death daily decision. And just climb the rungs on the ladder that was sent down to get me out of this horrible pit. Water, count points, eat fruits/veg/dairy/protein/healthy oils daily, etc. Rung by rung, boring but it did the trick and pulled me from a near-death existence to a new life full of fun and energy and hope. I am planning now for tomorrow and to try again. I did start going to a local Christian singles group and want to make time for exercise again--get back in touch with reality.
Thanks Becca for checking in, I will check out your journal
and Betha and Lulu --thank you for commenting here
Family is getting disgusted with me as they see the weight starting to creep back. I feel aches and pains coming back that the water kept flushed out--so ever onward. The church I used to go to before I lost any weight didnt recognize me when I visited on Sunday. They weren't sure it was really me! Haha
So I do want to get more of that, not less, cause it is really real, not like these chat guys who want a ticket to come here or want to get their jollies off.

GREAT seeing you back :D

Hi, GayeLynn! You are doing great. Don't sweat the regains. They will come. The main thing is to keep on going, you will reach your goal!

Interesting idea you posted a few days ago about eating the same breakfast and lunch each day. Does seem beneficial. See ya! Have a great rest of the week!

Yay I made it kinda on track for a whole day!:cheer: ate jelly beans i counted and some extra portions of snacks that i didnt, but otherwise felt successful. Another day to try and keep on climbing the laddser out of this pit.
Thanks for visiting friends!
Got LOTS of water and rest and less chatting, so all in all feel much more on the up and up.
Gotta mow my yard this evening or tomorrow for exercise and do walk my legs off going potty at the office. Hope to stay more in touch here! Love ya

Hope all is going well for you :)

Ok so the only failure is failing to try again. So here I go again. Another woman that started WW with me last Feb has been struggling too so we are going to challenge each other to compare for the next two weeks and really get back on track. My hope is still alive despite the gain of 23 lbs back since my top loss of 91 lbs--I will never give up. Today I am pushing aside all the chats and lazy things I could do rather than do meal planning and preparation for the week. Making my Jello sugar-free cups ahead for lunches and pumpkin cake mix muffins for snacks at 3 points each. A recipie slimmed down of green bean casserole to take to work for nice lunches along with a tuna and macaroni salad with lots of veggies and fat free ranch dressing. Got lots to do and fix to plan for success---cause if you fail to plan you plan to fail.
and
if you are not hungry, food will not fix it.
:dn :jn :wn :dc :flower:

I am happy your friend is going to support you - that always helps :)

Happy to see you here posting again too :D

stopping in to see how you are doing :)

I have not seen you around in about 3 weeks - hope everything is OK :)

Whew! such a long time since I have posted here! Missed you guys really. Such a stabalizing force in my life. One guy started chatting with me who was a weight watcher leader and so positive that i remembered what i had left behind here. People who want to give and support instead of just pleasing themselves and taking from you. Really it is like coming up for air to come to the refreshing atmosphere where I can get the support and help you all offer. Thanks a million for your efforts, no matter how small you may think they are, I really appreciate them.
I did gain back a total of 40 lbs from the 91 which I lost last year. Now I have signed up for a series of 12 weeks and look forward to seeing some more positive results. The slowness has crept back in to my steps, the morning acheyness. YUCK!!!
So weigh in is Tuesday now, I thought maybe a new group might help me regain my focus. I lost 6 since the recommitment for a total of 56. But havent been sticking with it good this week, so the next weigh in will be the mercy of God if I lose. I am gonna try to check in here more!

just a quick note to let you know i weigh in today, many failures but like my leader-friend says, just a chance to learn. so i learned not to let the bachelor talk me into making pancakes just because i wonder if he would choose me! LOL Gotta go to work now, taking my big water bottle and plenty of low-point options and my food diary... gonna cut-off the liquids and eating after lunch hoping for a half-way decent weigh in...I will let you know and hopefully get some of you to check in on me by checking in on you!!!

Hi :wave: wonderful to see you back :up: :D

finally got some medicine for my toothache--and i feel so great to be pain free! what a difference! reminds me of how good i felt losing weight. and i wanna go back there again. a lot of my problem is like last weeks lesson at the weight watcher meeting, negative self-talk, i always feel guilty and feel like if i had only done this or that differently, things would be good now--but with this pain med, (crazy thing to make me get a good idea) i feel easy towards myself, not upset with myself, like hey, life CAN be good again, you really CAN look forward to good things. so i hope that i will come back to my sane thought life, like i had last year. i liked the one thought on the list the leader gave me tonight of good quotes--a wish changes nothing, a decision changes everything. i guess i have been wishing instead of making the decision to lose weight again. so i am looking forward to this week, even tonight, as i plan for my eating in the following days, so blessed to live in a wonderful country with such abundance--so much freedom of choice and gourmet flavors. I really love and appreciate my place in life now. focusing on what tremendous opportunities i plan to step into, instead of missing them. Hooray!!:cheers:

Happy to hear your toothache is doing better :)

I am THRILLED to hear you doing so well and having such a wonderful attitude and out look :D

Hey Lady ! Get your self back in here and let me know how you are :)

knock knock - anyone home?

ok here i am
i will be trying again, some new motivation after almost a year of wandering
weighed in today with still the 50 pound loss maintained but just barely--gained 6.4 in one week
i know it is fluids a lot, retaining due to lack of drinking my water
i have one more prepaid ticket then no more meetings since i cannot afford with the new unemployed status i am facing
so i will be depending on my dear diet talk buddies more than ever now
i am a grandma again and have been travelling a lot to be there for the birth of the little sweetie girl

Congratulations on your new grand daughter !!! :rose:

about your job situation.....
My prayers will be with you :)

I am thrilled to see you back :D

Hey, hey, hey,
Here I am again! Finally got a job at minimum wage working 6 days a week at a call center and made a real time boyfriend who is a big guy and likes to go out to eat...busy and fatter for sure...haven't even weighed and don't really want to know how much I have regained just yet. I did make a fat free crustless pumpkin pie and let Wes see how good it was. He liked it. But now I have been thinking that I could still do a good eating plan even though I am too broke for Weight Watcher meetings and only eat over some when he takes me out. It is the Montel show today on my afternoon off that has be back here now...O God, please don't let me gain any more!!!!!

Welcome back GayLynn. Go and check what Dr. Oz has to say about spending money for dieting and exercise. There's a good two week eating plan there also. I followed it for 1 week not to a T mind you but stayed away from red meat. Ate pretty much like he says especially the breakfasts they are the main thing to get your body going. Lots of water lots of fluids. You can do this. Oh yea forgot to tell you I lost 6 lbs my first week. that was only last week.
Good for you at finding a boy friend and sounds like losing a few lbs would be in his favour also. maybe you can get together on dieting Good luck.

Oh, thanks Linda for reading my post!!! Yes I have listened to Dr. Oz and would do most of what he recommends...even the green drink when I can buy the stuff, even Oprah liked it, lol.

Recently, like in October, I met a man for real, not on the internet. We kinda latched onto each other like lonely people will do. With each of us little by little accepting things we might not like or prefer in the other until the familiarity and dailyness of the relationship makes us think of a permanent thing. I hate to spill it all here, but my family is starting to not like how he has made me be. We are in our 50s, families gone to other towns, and we are unemployed/disabled. Since I went so many years without any dating of any kind, he seems better than some I could have gotten. Thing I guess that can make this fit here on diettalk, he is a feeder. Because of his diabetes, he eats whatever, whenever. And he keeps pushing the food on me too, so lovingly, but I have gained so much weight since I met him! over 20 lbs in a few months. He lacks self control in every area of his life, it really is easy to give in and join him with my own problem in this area, but since I lost so much last year I still look back longingly to the times of careful eating and counting my points and how that carried over into every part of my life--I miss it. But it is so much a deep part of his character, irresponsibility: shut off utilities, lies to cover the misdeeds, etc. Each thing I could overlook and accept to keep from being alone, but with this weight problem, I lose so much, bringing me to despair again. Now I am facing the end of my independence, losing my home, and he has already lost his. Where do we go from here? I can't see staying together in a shelter... just pray for me that I will see where to go from here. Thanks.

Gayelynn - I am sorry that you are going through this. :hug:

Being alone is not the worst thing in life - it can be rough but losing your home, your health and such is so much worse.

You ARE a strong person - think back to all you have done on your own for YOURSELF - the lawn mower - losing weight - budgeting your $ better - spending time taking care of you - you have done SO many things for YOU . PLEASE don't lose all that ground work and progress.

I am not saying it will be easy but you CAN regain your progress and your winning attitude !

If this man chooses not to change - then Gayelynn you know he is not right for you.

Please know you are in my prayers :)

Gayelynn - I am sorry that you are going through this. :hug:

Being alone is not the worst thing in life - it can be rough but losing your home, your health and such is so much worse.

You ARE a strong person - think back to all you have done on your own for YOURSELF - the lawn mower - losing weight - budgeting your $ better - spending time taking care of you - you have done SO many things for YOU . PLEASE don't lose all that ground work and progress.

I am not saying it will be easy but you CAN regain your progress and your winning attitude !

If this man chooses not to change - then Gayelynn you know he is not right for you.

Please know you are in my prayers :)
Just got to say butterfly I totally agree with you.. I was alone for 12 years after my husband and I split up and now I am a friend to a man and live in his home as a friend and am caregiver for him.. Not a boyfriend thing just a good friend. .I knew his wife.
Being alone is not a bad ting imo... I have lots of outside lady friends and used to go for coffee and chat or lunch supper a lot..
You had come a long way Gaye and think you could do it again but as butterfly says this man must change or you must leave the relationship before it completely does you in..
You cannot change him but you can change yourself and I know you can do this..
I am surprised because of his diabetes he can eat as he pleases..I cannot and I am a diabetic.. I must be careful of calories etc..not gain weight etc.. and hopefully lose more..
Sorry to hear this Gaye Lynn.. Take care we are here for you... Don't give up on yourself... Even though you are disabled there are jobs you still can do.. I see cashiers at walmart in wheel chairs etc... There are many many jobs where handicapped folks are welcomed and it helps to make one feel better when we are employed even if only part time... Got to get out of the rut.... I know you can do this
:hug: Lulu

Hey I told him what you said and it all came to a head for me, I HAVE lost a lot of ground, not just his fault, but I need alone time to get things back in order for myself. So we broke up this morning. I feel bad, but it needs to happen. He is so needy and I could have helped keep him afloat...oh well...I gotta pick up, here in a day or so when I am thru grieving.

Gayelynn - I am sorry you are hurting :hug:

People should always complement each other - in any type of a relationship. Not complement as in "you look nice" ;) But as in can be there and be strong when the other one needs you to be. Hence him being needy is not a complement to you...

I have loved someone very deeply - who I walk away from as they were not good for me. Sometimes love is not all that matters - sad but true.

Please know I am here for you :D

I am very proud that you did what is best for YOU !


PS: also you might want to prepare yourself for him asking for the relationship to pick back up - being as you broke up with him, this is quite possible. Be strong for YOU!!

This is my first morning alone and I had fat free yogurt and high fiber cereal, lots of water and vitamins...it was fun getting back with old friends!! He loved to go out for high fat meals or make lots of sausage or bacon and eggs or waffles, hated to even consider any low point food or wait for hunger, as soon as the meal ended he was planning what we would eat for the next one! I kid you not!!! My body is happy, and I guess I am too...nice to be able to choose what I need.

YES! :up:

Your choice is what it is all about my friend :D

stopping in to see how you are doing :)

Wes talked to the minister today about us getting married in Oct/Nov. I have been so uncertain and still am, but I just don't see any other way to go from here without being awfully mean. The break up did not work, he was so pitiful and only needs the things I have to give. Nice to be needed and important to someone. But a real marriage for the first time in my life at age 53?? I need lots of prayer and so does he if we can ever do this. Thanks for being my friends, really I don't have any locally I can talk to about this. The curse of our modern generation, isolation.

My prayers remain :hug:

I am here if you need an ear :)

Thanks Beth. This is such a nice place to journal my life. My heart really feels better when I can let a caring unbiased person in on my struggles. I appreciate you letting me do that and letting me know you care.
Well, I am on blood pressure meds now. It got so high the nurse warned me of having a stroke and that scared me. I have moved in with my father in another city and really miss Wes. All my stuff is still there, a 3 bedroom home just won't squeeze in this bedroom and Dad's garage and basement. So I am back and forth but this is my new home. I appealed my disability rejection letter. Hope to hear a good outcome soon, I know, it will be months. Living with Dad has made me lose my appetite because my cook is gone. Leave it to me and I will just as soon go without after all the over eating. It is grief I think...losing a love, or so it seems. I wonder if I will ever find happiness on earth? Guess I just read too many fairy tales.

I am so sorry to hear things are so rough for you right now :hug:

Are you and Wes broken up? Sorry I am a tad confused, if your not seeing each other often as of your recent move or of you guys split?

STROKE!!!!!!! ? Gayelynn - that is terrible, is it better now?

PLEASE PLEASE come by here more often and let us know how your doing. Join us again my friend and jump back in here and become a part of this group again - we care :rose:

lol, you are no more confused than I am! Depression sets in on me each evening, by morning I have new hope and outlook and energy for a while. Wes will still be in my life if he wants, I cannot let go completely when he has no family or other support network, it would be cruel. I go back and forth between the towns, about an hour apart, to get something I haven't moved here yet, essential to my survival, like my coffee grinder! I am just taking it a day at a time, like we have to do with anything, diet or life. Blessings on you my friend today and always.

Today I am losing my mobile home, and I let a prayer group where I used to go get in this weekend and take what they wanted...stuff I have no place for but was too dear to box up for good will, as if I had strength or energy enough to do that either. One got the dryer, but Wes asked for the washer and leather sofa. Lots of books, clothes, cds, etc.
I have a job interview today but know I will not get it already with me being so fat and short of breath and slow. It is for the kind of work I used to do. Unless they let my experience count and are afraid not to hire someone almost disabled.
I haven't felt like finding a church so havent made friends here yet. Don't feel real ties yet, unless you count my aunts and uncle but that is not just mine, that is Dad's too. And my stepsister Laura. She is 14 years younger than me and I am sensitive to the vibes in her mother's house, even though she has been gone 8 years. It is still very much her house. I have been reminded, even this time, of how Barbara did things and why I should do things a certain way. Like keep the organization going or use of kitchen utensils. Hell. I am 53 years old and still being given lessons about not using metal dipper in the teflon saucepan!! See why I dread this? I let her know and of course was looked upon as being too sensitive, she meant well, Dad said. Let me outta here!! So I think a job would be nice for that reason. That and the fact that Wes could be with me in a nice clean place, not like his old house where he can't afford to have the gas turned on so there is no hot water.

Hi, Gayelynn...this is Becca (rac284). I read the past 3 pages of your journal, and I'm sorry that you're going through so much right now. Keep posting so your DT friends can help you through this rough time :hug: If you ever need to talk more about things, I'm here...for good now, even though I am doing bad with eating I am still making an effort to log in to DT on a regular basis so I can keep up with everyone.

Hi GayeLynn: Sorry about you losing your mobile home and other things going on in your life.
I have kept up with your journal and while you would like support I feel that you did the best thing by leaving Wes especially him being a feeder.. which is the one thing you do not need..... now if you are looking for employment just to be able to get something to live with Wes again are you really helping yourself dear.. i worry about this..
There is much support and help here if you take it.. Mugwump is a good example..as many others...
Please consider why you want a job...and if they don 't consider you for the job maybe you should consider as to whether you wish to become more obese that you will not be employable. i am sure you don't want this Gayelynn.. I think you could do much on your own without a man in your life right now..and getting a job and losing weight would be at the top of my priorities for your health and your happiness....
I wish you lots of success :rose:

This is my weepy depressed time of day, early evenings usually, but lulu's entry nearly did it to me. If you knew my life...Wes is the first man who has ever treated me so kindly, lovingly. Yes he does like to eat, but there is so little he has left in his life---this I understand. We talk about how great it would be if we lost weight, I think he could be a great partner in this. We are alone and company for one another. I feel obligated to stay open to him until God raises up someone else to help him with his life. Since I met him, his kids moved out, he lost his dog, he is losing his house, and his only support network left him, the ex's family turned against him. Any way, you were right in what you said Lulu, only I cannot forsake him now. My sister said that me moving might be for the best to begin the losening of ties. That would be the case if I allowed it, but I just feel like he needs me and has no one who will care for him. I have my coupon for the free registration at WW this month...now for the money to begin the meetings again. I know it works and I know I can do it when I am ready. If only things would settle down for me...seems like there is no peace anywhere.

Hey I told him what you said and it all came to a head for me, I HAVE lost a lot of ground, not just his fault, but I need alone time to get things back in order for myself. So we broke up this morning. I feel bad, but it needs to happen. He is so needy and I could have helped keep him afloat...oh well...I gotta pick up, here in a day or so when I am thru grieving.
GayeLynn.. my last post was not in an attempt to hurt or upset you..
You have sent many mixed messages in this journal.. Sure Wes needs you but you need yourself first.. You need to take care of yourself and healthy and a job then and only then imo of course is it OK to have a relationship with quite an unhealthy needy person.. To acquire the strength to be in this relationship you need to get your own house in order... That is all I meant...
Codependency... Have you ever heard of that... They do have support groups too..

I rejoined WW today. Their scale shows only .4lbs less than the other WW scale in my previous town, so I haven't gained since my visit to the clinic in March. I am so sorry for Lulu losing her friend..
Obstacles abound to my success, lack of work, strength, feeling homeless and unsettled.
Maybe things will start to get back in line soon.

Hello, :wn

I don't think we've met but I see that YOU'RE A WEIGHT WATCHER ..

What WW plan are you using? Flex Or Core ..? Just know that YOU CAN AND WILL ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS .. BE KIND TO YOURSELF AND TREAT YOURSELF AS YOU WOULD YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND .. because WE HAVE TO LIKE WHO WE ARE .. and each one of US IS A VALUABLE PERSON ..

I will eagerly read about your ongoing success. Monica

Hi Gayelynn,

Good for you for starting WW again. I am sure that you will gain friendships there, just be open to people. But take care of yourself. you need this. At 53(and I am right behind you) we need to take care of ourselves, VERY IMPORTANT.

So keep coming here because this can be a fantastic support group!!!!

Way to go, Gayelynn! I'm glad you're back on WW! Now, I just have to follow your lead :)

and the flex plan is the way to go for me! I really am challenged this time around by my uncertain lifestyle--a few days I am with my food-loving boyfriend in another town and a few days I am with my elderly father who needs to be tempted to eat and he loves sweets! But the guidelines for WW are so good and incorporate so many flexibilities that even if I were CORE I am sure there would be something for me. The main reason I am not doing CORE is that I never have let my tummy tell me when to eat, my feelings usually drive me, emotional eating, impulse buying and eating. I always did love a good challenge, so instead of moping and wondering if I am doing the right thing, I am just forgetting the problems and seeing a way thru to victory!! Family said that I was depressed and gaining weight because of my new boyfriend...but that all started before I met him, he came along when I was near the bottom and has been nothing but sweet and good for me. So when I get back to successful weight watching, that will be enough for them...that is what they want to see for me. Thanks Monica for your entry in my journal and for going ahead and introducing yourself. I have known of you ever since I first joined DT years ago, guess I didn't make enough entries to make my presence felt, lol.

well, the WW lasted as long as the meeting...being torn back and forth, homeless really...feeling like a failure since I can't find a job at my age and weight. Lots of bad thoughts toward myself and too weary to initiate change beyond what I must to settle in...keep getting my feelings hurt or some little thing is not to my liking at one place or another, so I move on to the other home. I want to land here with my boyfriend, he is nice and wants to make me happy rather than my father wanting me to do for him. Really, it only continually reminds me of how limited I am physically when I am at Dad's. I can't do the cooking or keep his house as particular as he likes it...I am a messy and clutterbug and packrat with lots of hobbies I like to keep surrounding me for any free moment...it wore me out to keep picking up all my junk all the time, much less be any help to Dad. He needs someone with more get up and go than I have. Dear BF helps me a lot with a hand up the steps or out of my chair, carrying things for me in from the car, etc. So I guess this is my place now. If only my mind would settle in and let me get my concentration back...I keep thinking that all my family and former friends are judging me and it makes me sad, wondering what else I could do??? I like being settled more than I thought I did. He is in a legal battle over his home and we may have to move soon...we are just strangers and pilgrims here, remember.

Just touching base here, started back on a few vitamins, C, B complex, Flaxseed Oil caps, and for mood some SAM-e. My outlook and energy improved on the first day, today is the 2nd day and with the cooler weather and overcast sky have felt sleepy more. Put a pot of beans on. Comfort and delicious. I was thinking that if everyone keeps telling me I am touchy and hard to get along with, maybe I am. And since I don't want to take meds I don't have to, thought I would give the vitamins another try. The strife with family over each contact we have has me so stressed. Just thinking of seeing my daughter was sending me into a panic...she has let me know how far short I fall of what is needed for appropriate mom/grandma behavior...just my feelings, maybe she didnt SAY that exactly but maybe you have been overly sensitive to comments from a daughter or mother before. Pray for our visit Aug 30. I tried to make my time a short few hours and then leave, but she has let me know that she will be extremely insulted if I do not spend all the time with her and the grandkids that she has blocked out for me. The main problem is we will all be at Dads, and since I dont live there now primarily due to the fact that I cannot keep up with my own mess, much less be any help to Dad, so with her and the babies there, the cooking/cleaning/feeding will be more than I can handle...God give me wisdom and strength!!!

Nice hearing from you again :)

I have been thinking about you lately - hope your doing OK - your missed ! :hug: